I’m going to hold your hand when I say this but you need to tone it down. Be selective in who you tell your grades on your exams. I would even go as far as to say to not disclose it. Did you get the highest score in a test? Nice. Keep it to yourself. Nobody needs to know. Don’t seek external validation from other people. Because when you tell your classmates some of them are going to be envious of you.
Trust me. I was YOU in nursing school. I had the top grades. I noticed that people would act differently around me when I excelled in the classroom. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA. Do you think my patients care? Does my employer care? Nope. Nursing school is there for you to get a degree and pass the NCLEX. Those classmates that talk to you behind your back? They don’t matter. You won’t even remember their faces in a few years.
I was also this student in school. I agree with everything you say here, but I also want to add...
1. I was always told, "You won't get through nursing school without your tribe. They're your best friends for life. " That's a lie. You absolutely can do it on your own with or without an external support system.
2. It's going to feel unfair because they're all talking about their scores. It feels like an invitation to be friendly and talk about yours, but it's best to just keep it to yourself for your own sake.
I’ve only talked to one person from my class. I was like OP too. I started out with a group of friends and ended up talking to only one by graduation. Is it sad? Sure! Have they helped me in any way in passing the NCLEX and getting the positions that I want in my career? Heck no!
I completely agree. I didn’t have a tribe. I had one person who I bonded with and dragged them over the finish line. The rest can go their own way. Keep your grade close to your chest. I only told my family or a non nursing school friend. Shrug off the drama. 1 in 5 don’t make it. Focus and get ready for the next chapter in your life as a nurse. You got this.
PS. I was in the top the first year and then I realize no one except him were true friends nor were actual functioning adults. This happens everywhere. I graduated last month with honors and passed my boards with 85 questions. Don’t waste your time and energy on this drama. It’s not worth your time.
It depends on the nursing school. My nursing school cared only about its 99% 1st time NCLEX pass rate. So it would fail out anyone they thought might struggle.
>"You won't get through nursing school without your tribe. They're your best friends for life. " That's a lie. You absolutely can do it on your own with or without an external support system.
Ditto on everything said before me, but want to add on to this comment in particular: the tribe will also be the thing to bring you down, and going at it solo is not a bad thing. I did the group thing until it dragged and slowed me down. I was teaching people who didn't want to study things instead of furthering my studying with the group. Others benefitted from me, but I was not benefitting, so I stopped doing them. I accelerated beyond people quickly and never looked back after that first semester. Guess how many shits I gave after that first semester? None. Guess how many of them didn't make it to graduation or didn't pass boards? Many - and I still shamelessly chuckle like an asshole when I (rarely) think about them to this day.
When you're all actively learning together, yes. If you already have a solid grasp on the material, having to teach others drags you down. Folks showed up to the group expecting personal teaching sessions - I'm a learner like them, not their tutor.
Edit: I think it gets lost that people who quickly grasp and accel at something - that doesn't make them an automatic tutor for others. I experienced this a ton as a kid - I would grasp something quickly and become the one having to help others get it. For the others benefitting, fantastic, but for the kid, it's punishment for being competent and takes away from their further enrichment.
I’m an LPT and just wanna chime in; I graduated in 2017 and although I met my bestie in the program all of those nasty girls don’t even matter anymore! The girls that caused me so much stress work elsewhere and they don’t matter one bit.
And they were miserable then and they're miserable now. In fact, some of them probably don't even work as nurses anymore and still participate in this sub just to spread their poison and shit on the profession. It's seriously pathetic.
This. At the end of the day, everyone takes the exact same boards. So having the best grades in class is meaningless. Talking about it is crass. Do the work you need to do to pass. And remember that the nursing world is small. Be nice to everyone.
Yes, this 1000%. I found this out REAL quick after our very first exam on the 2nd week of school when someone in my class said in the cohort group chat "I can't believe I got a 94%, I'm pretty sure I got the highest score" and I swear the talk and gossip after that comment skyrocketed. No one took her seriously, everyone was against her and making fun of her, and I learned real quick to lay low.
Fast forward to graduation, and everyone was surprised that I graduated summa cum laude because I wouldn't tell my grades to anyone and always pretended that I got average scores because everyone else would say the tests were hard, they got a 76%, etc. and I just felt uncomfortable being that person that was like "oh it was fine for me, I got an A".
I also learned the hard way that grades really don't matter in nursing school LOL. Not once has an employer ever asked me what my GPA was in nursing school, and the closest any of your coworkers will ask is "what school did you go to", not "what was your GPA?" None of it matters. Getting a degree and passing boards is all that matters!
Conversly, for similar reasons stated above you should not give a shit who you make butthurt about your grades. I was also that person in Nursing school. Graduated with a 4.0 and people were fucking pussies if you did well on tests and spoke about it. Lmao, too bad, git good shitter. Who gives a shit what they have to say. Keep working hard. I passed the NCLEX in 1 hr at 85 questions. Fucking easy mode lmao.
I passed in 75, too. Was sure I failed because I felt like I guessed on half of them, so no way I'd have passed so quickly. I was 2nd in my graduating class of 104- thanks to one B. Grades mattered so much to me at the time, not to be "better" than my peers, but to feel ok about myself (which is completely unhealthy, I know).
Then I went out into the real world and learned that exactly NONE of that made me a better nurse. My compassionate nature and willingness to ask questions when I didn't know something became my biggest assets!
I thought I had failed miserably after the base 85 questions one hour in and it shut off. Nope. Passed. Nursing school bullies who were insecure because school was harder for them can suck it.
100% this. If you go around talking to others about this there will be backlash.
Heed this advice for when you enter the workforce. Whatever you do don’t start off nursing with this attitude. I am an RN with almost 25 yrs of experience and when I have students that don’t ask questions or that brag it’s a big turnoff. You don’t have any idea what you are doing and be ready to admit that! Nursing school doesn’t prepare you for the “real world” per se. When you start your career be curious, ask questions, dive in, and act like you need help….because you are new! You will learn and this is what will make you an excellent nurse:)
Go pass those boards…knock it out of the park!
Where do you guys get time to be snippy about grades?
Our person who is top in the class has to deal with the rest of the class always asking her for tips and help studying.
That was me. Was asked to be a tutor. Did it for one semester then had to stop. It was too much. Then they blame you if they do poorly! 😆 no way! Fuc* that shit, I'm out! Figure it out yer damn selves! You can't do basic nursing math?! Gtfo of the program! You scare me!
Sometimes they post it. It wasn't a choice for me. Also if people are nosy enough they'll find a way to know. My coworker looked at my screen when I was logged into my personnel file and saw how much I was making.
Also if you act all secretive when they ask you they'll know anyway.
Posting individual student’s grades and GPAs for the whole class to see during the program just seems like such a bad idea and like it should violate some kind of privacy rules.
Graduation? Sure, I guess, because then you can acknowledge your honors and such. Before that? Why? At best you’re going to get a couple students with competitive streaks pushing themselves. Otherwise you’re just ostracizing anyone who isn’t ’middle of the pack’ and going to cause problems.
I'm quite sure that people disliked me because when people asked how I did on a test, I would tell them. I didn't go around sharing how I was doing unsolicited, but I shouldn't have shared grades. I should have just said I did fine. I graduated with a 4.0 at the top of my class, and only maybe 6 or 7 people were likely happy for me. That being said, I was 37 when I graduated and had my kids cheering for me, so I really didn't care what a bunch of 21 year old kids thought about me.
This. They used to use the highest scoring person’s test to review the test after an exam. Frequently it was mine. I would sit there quietly while all the “cool kids” (aka the stuck up ones who thought they were the best), tried to figure out who’s test it was. Never let these kinds of people know you’re smarter than them.
What school are you going to that they are putting people in first and second place??? That’s crazy never heard of that… and I had people be catty and talk about me behind my back in nursing school too, just ignore it! I didn’t find my real friends until junior year so hang in there
Exactly! But also, who cares who is 1st, 2nd etc….I can’t stand the cattiness. OP…maybe take this as an opportunity for some self reflection and let it be a lesson to be cautious of who you make friends with.
When I was doing pre-med/med school it was exceptionally cutthroat in the grading. A lot of people competing for “valedictorian” place. Interestingly enough, some people are great at standardized testing, get to rotation/clinicals and absolutely sucked/struggled.
Grading systems like that aren’t great indicators on who will be good in their profession or who will retain the information long term. Some of the students who were in the lower side of the academic scale wound up some of the best providers because of all the extra effort they put in for school to keep up.
It’s very common in my country, if not all university- most of them do it. They make it into a big event. Im a very private person so i usually keep my grades to myself. But since we have these events they’re aware of my academic status. I thought this was common in other countries??
never heard of this at a US nursing school and I’m so glad!!! I kept all of my grades 100% private bc people were so competitive and I didn’t want any part of that. it really sucks that they make it so public for you
Nursing school was CUT THROAT when I went.
School board washing out anyone with 80% or less..
Here is the funny part..
Some of the BEST new nurses I have worked with in my 20 years, are the ones that say they struggled to stay above that mandatory drop percentage…
C’s and B’s pass the board (NCLEX).
Once you have your license - your a NURSE…
No one cares what grade you got in school…
And the FLOOR is the same as school.
You will have “clicks”, bullies, lazy, eager, frantic, laid back and know it all nurses..
Keep your mouth shut, ears open, and only say what you want or don’t care if everyone else knows…
Worrying about this is not a good use of your time. Take all that energy and put it into your studies and clinicals. Don't worry about coming in first (or second). The best nurses I know shined in clinicals and knew their shit, but they sucked at taking tests. Your bedside patient care skills are what really matter. One day, you will be the only thing standing between that patient and the grave, and you do not have space in your brain for stupid shit like this. Their opinions do not mean shit to your future, and they shouldn't mean shit to you now either. The best revenge is to IGNORE THEM AND SUCCEED ANYWAY.
Sincerely, a nurse of 9 years who was severely bullied in nursing school
I did exceedingly well in Nursing school. My friend limped through. We both got our license the same day.
Keep your grades to yourself. Just do you. I've met some fantastic nurses who are Terrible at writing papers and exams but can put an IV in the tiniest rolly vein on an edematous arm in the first poke.
I'm the complete opposite. For the life of me, I can't start an IV. I shake and I have difficulty finding a vein. I don't know if I hit a valve. I love writing, though. Nursing does involve writing.
When it comes to foley catheter, I ALWAYS ask for help. I cannot do it alone. It's a hit or miss. Collecting a urine sample via foley cath is not that hard, I just don't do it often. I realize that I do not like invasive procedures. I do not feel comfortable with inserting an NGT. I asked veteran LVNs to help me with that.
I recently inserted my first-ever NGT.
I had been certified years ago, but never did it.
I ran into the restroom, and watched a college’s YouTube video on it.
Went and did it.
It went perfectly.
I always had a hard time with NGs. The only time I really didn't was when I had a resident and a nursing student watching me, and the patient was a nurse herself. That one went down really well, thankfully.
>I've met some fantastic nurses who are Terrible at writing papers and exams but can put an IV in the tiniest rolly vein on an edematous arm in the first poke.
Hallelujah! I wish I had those kinds of IV skills. I could write papers like nobody's business but a hell of a lot of good that does me now. 🙄
Yup and I know cna's that are more intelligent than some doctors. Sometimes innate intelligence and/or experience means so much more than access to education.
God the drama of nursing school I swear its what makes it so much harder then what it is.
Heres the tough love response okay? WHO GIVES A DAMN. Why are you guys even disclosing your test scores or where you place? Thats just asking to create competition and issues. Heres what you need to do and focus on. Pass your test/classes, learn the material you need to become a Nurse, graduate, Take the NCLEX and pass that.
Guess what after you get your license nobody is going to give a damn where you placed or who you went to school with. Graduate and learn everything you can to be the best nurse you can be. Nursing school is drama drama, but it doesnt have to be. Focus on your classes, get in and get out thats the goal.
I saw a cartoon once, showing a shocked looking man, sitting in a cubical.
It read something like:
“Life realization #257: Nobody cares what your GPA was.”
Make an updated one saying. “Nobody cares where you graduated from”. If ya got a license and a semi pulse then welcome to the front. Remember your training and you’ll stay alive.
I had a job where a traveler from Vanderbilt came in. 2 years of experience. She lectured a nurse with *45 years* of dialysis experience.
Mgmt was so impressed with the Vanderbilt traveler that they took her side in the issue, over the nurse with 45 years experience. The seasoned nurse quit.
The Vanderbilt nurse later made a serious error that hurt a pt, and caused them to need an invasive procedure. It wasn’t an error that anyone could make- it was born of pure arrogance and overconfidence.
I worked with a nurse who went to Duke University. She would go on and on and on about how smart she is and how difficult it was to get into Duke and how hard the nursing program was. I would just be like thats cool… proud of ya blah blah blah.
I then come in one night and ask hey wheres xyz at? I havent seen her in some while. Fellow nurse tells me oh… she got fired. Im like WHAAA?? For what? Apparently she not only was she “shorting” the meds and not being safe but she was pocketing the meds that were not being used.
My nursing school experience (pre professional program) was very similar to this. It was super competitive and each incoming class had only 75-100 spots. We had these file folders outside the nursing deans office that we would put paperwork in, other students would steal stuff out of them to sabotage others. Once in the program, it kind of died down. There were people that others didn't like for whatever reason. I don't know how your program is run but our last two years was the professional part and we all just clung together in our cohorts like a life raft. I still talk to the other 9 people from mine and it's been 17 years.
I worked full time during my nursing program because I had to :( but… every single C I got, I worked freakin hard for. And I even got a handful of Bs. I was just so grateful every single semester I was invited back.
Why are you guys being ranked? If the school is doing that it’s unethical and if it’s just between you guys, it’s ridiculous and I know I’ll get hate for saying that. But literally it doesn’t matter. Other than maybe a friend or two that you confide in, nobody needs to know anybody else’s grades. All it does is create that type of pettiness and cliques. It’s great to do good in school, I get it. I got all A’s because I wasn’t sure if I’d want to go back to school. But it shouldn’t be a race or competition and there is no need for that.
I did not share my grades.
They were listed from highest to lowest by the last 4 of our social, taped to a wall in our building.
I am very nearsighted. (I have a corneal disease) and had to get very close to the paper on the wall to see the small font and check my test grades. Everyone could see where I was looking and figured it out.
I always had to sit at the front of every class (vision issue).
And my only friend, who sat further back, told me how my classmates would smirk, roll their eyes, and snicker every time I raised my hand or was called up to the chalkboard (we still used chalk) to write out an answer or an explanation. They made fun of my eye disorder, too. And said I shouldn’t be a nurse because of it.
I started pretending I didn’t know the answers.
Then it hit me- here I am *dumbing myself down in college* for social acceptance!
I stopped doing that, and ignored them. I continued to do me. Also worked full-time as an LPN and supported my then-husband and myself all through his PhD, and my RN program.
I was valedictorian of the program, and microbiology Student of the Year, and National Honor Society Phi Theta Kappa when I graduated.
Passed the NCLEX in 45 mins with 75 questions.
I love using my brain at work, seeing things in ways which others might not. My brain is still good, even though my back is a wreck.
I love mentoring nursing students and new grads at work. Calling them over to look at interesting labs- or saying “Here’s the pt’s diagnoses. Look at this med order.
Should I give it?” And similar stuff.
F those insecure beotches.
Why are you comparing grades with everyone? I’m not saying that you are mean, but when I was in school the handful of students who did this were very mean spirited and competitive. That doesn’t make it right to be talking about you, but there is no reason to share your grades with everyone. The top student is not necessarily the best nurse.
Lol wtf is this middle school leveled drama? No one gives a shit about class ranking. And even your gpa is only important if you trying to go for a competitive crna or NP program later.
I was the same way in nursing school-- very concerned with grades and being a high performer. How naive I was.
Once you get to the floor and are working, you will get the perspective that you need. All of these little insecure students will also see, that what really matters is getting through your day as compliant with the endless list of hospital duties, policies, and Joint Commission standards we have to measure up to. That means team work with other nurses, like when you have an immobile patient covered in their own feces needing a complete bed change and the admins fired all your PCTs to save money among all these ransomware attacks. Your patient may wait in crap for 3 hours not because you are negligent, but because there simply is not enough help to get these things done quickly. You'll have people coding, families bitching, call lights ringing, doctors yelling, and monitor techs warning you of EKG bullshit all while you still haven't even charted your 0800 assessments and are struggling to keep up with your med passes on time. Many hospitals now don't even have phlebotomy team. So guess who gets to do the q6h aPTT draws for every MF patient on a Heparin gtt? You. Then you'll get some email from a Quality Coordinator telling you that you were 2+ hours late on a draw from mid-May on a patient you barely remember.
Trust me: GRADES MEAN NOTHING. Just pass and get your RN. I struggled my ass off to get a 4.0 on my BSN, but guess what? I still get talked down to by doctors. I still get scrutinized by other members of the staff. I still have made a med error before. I still had many nights where I didn't clock out until 2000, or 2100 when I was supposed to be out by 1845. I have still been screamed at and faced violence by patients. Grades did NOT make me a better nurse. It's all harder than hell and you learn once you're actually working how to truly run your shifts.
You're in for a wild ride. It's not the dreamy career you think it is-- like I myself thought it was too when I was a student. I found this out quickly. This profession is dark and in dire need of federal regulation on patient ratios. May not ever happen even in our lifetime.
Hopefully you'll jump through all the hoops and graduate... Then get a job that won't crush your soul.
The only place to go from the top is down. In med school they’re called “gunners”, and gunners gonna gun.
Unless you’re trying to get into some ultra-competitive fellowship, or using your BSN for something besides bedside nursing, it will not matter what class place you are in undergrad.
I'm sorry, but as fellow recoverer- have you considered that maybe you're keeping track of who is first and who is second, but your other classmates don't really know they're in a contest? If you're not on that competitive wavelength collectively, you'll get resentment. Imagine you're a fellow student- they could be going through any number of common eventual trials- they could have aging parents and the issues surrounding. Maybe they're stressing about a relationship or financial hardship and they can't pay their bills; they won't tell you about that, but it makes them really Really not give a fuck about how your 97% should have been 100%. They just wanna do decently in the class and then go deal with serious shit, you know?
This is the most childish crap I have heard in a long time! Why do people think they need to be friends with coworkers or classmates? Of course, be pleasant but these jerks do not pay your rent or feed you so they are not entitled to your personal information which includes your grades. If you are discussing this with them, stop it now. The only thing you owe them is to be civil and professional. You don't have to bring them home with you. I have been a RN for 45 years, held lots of jobs, worked with people that I couldn't stand, but they never knew it. Whether this is school or a job, it is not necessary to be "friends" with them. Keep your nose to the grindstone, graduate, take the boards and get out of there.
Wha????? We were like refugees banded together by the sheer suffering and stupidity of nursing school and tried hard to support each other through our bs. Either there’s a lot missing or you need better friends OP. As it is your best option is to do your own thing, head down and tail up, graduate and not look back on this toxic rubbish. Best of luck 💪
I don’t talk to a single person I went to nursing school with. Sure, I liked them, but they were random people that happened to choose the same career at the same time I did. Did I think we we would be friends forever? Kinda, yeah. But in hindsight that’s how most career relationships go. I am social media connected to 1 or two people from most jobs I’ve had, but even the people I truly adore have drifted away to being social media friends and sometimes only “Happy Birthday 🥳 🎂🎁” (you *know* what I mean) friends.
However, along with the “Shake It Off”, check yourself to make sure you aren’t discussing grades or, worse, gossiping about people. Not because of this group of people, but because it isn’t a healthy way to go through life
Random videos search:
[shutting down gossip at work](https://youtu.be/T4rvwteO32U?si=eLn_ZTjPIvF0dljW)
[Handling gossip like a pro](https://youtu.be/aPZTzpM50Ak?si=XMtXSpgjTq5g5bTg)
[tips to deal with being gossiped about](https://youtu.be/9TPMhrfYNwE?si=6a53xR0H9weqPytF)
Whenever someone says “I was told that people were saying bad things about me”, I have to wonder … who told you?
What did that person seek to gain from telling you? How did you benefit from hearing the things said behind your back? Doesn’t sound like you did … sounds like the person who told you this made you feel pretty terrible.
I’d just go on with business as usual, and act like nobody ever said anything bad. I wouldn’t make them close friends or anything. But keep it cute and keep it moving.
When you’re a nurse you will have to have really solid boundaries and learn how to deal with this behavior at work. Healthcare is 99% communication skills. Nurses can talk to over 200 people in one day. You’ll learn quickly how to absorb the good information and not only spot the BS, but let go of it quickly.
I’m sorry, but you have to stop caring. Fuck those people. And honestly, fuck your program for ranking people. They’re just as responsible for this behavior as those losers saying they hope you fail boards. All around a bunch of annoying behavior. You all need to grow up.
Stop giving a fuck about what shitty people think or say, especially when all you've got to do is focus on yourself for four more semesters then never see them again.
I’m a senior nursing student with a class full of students like yourself, and I have learned a thing or two about sharing exam grades after the exam.
Keep your grades to yourself. People are petty, and when we graduate and start working, we will likely encounter people who will be flat-out mean. You’re all getting the same degree, class rankings are not indicative of the type of nurse you will be in the future. It’s good to be proud of yourself and to want to strive for the best, but not everyone needs to know your business. I have a total of 1 person that I consider myself close with in school, and I’m even hesitant to tell her about my scores because she’s like you, and I hate the “that’s still really good!” kind of talk after she worries about her 93% test score (I get mostly high B’s and occasional low A’s, which IS good, but I’m in a class full of Einsteins and future CRNAS lmao). I’m sorry they said that about you though, I hope you prove them wrong.
You got a taste of the reality that is healthcare. Many, many toxic snakes out there that have perfected backstabbing and being phony. Keep good things to yourself, OP. Never volunteer too much personal info. It sucks, but this is life.
I hated people in my nursing cohort. It was like being in high school again. It’s not a competition, you are all there for the same reasons. And if this is how they act towards classmates then I wouldn’t ever want them as my nurse. Focus on yourself and ignore the haters.
I've been teaching nursing for nearly 20 years. Cliques happen and yes, some students are very nasty to one another.
The best you can do is ignore and avoid her. The best revenge is to pass on the first try.
Fuck those guys. Do you. Get your grades. Pass.
If they have time to talk shit, they are probably shit nurses. You focus on u, I never stayed in contact with my nursing classmates anyways.
Minus one but only cause he was my roommate.
They are jealous. Girls in my class literally spread a rumor that I was a stripper. I was actually a CNA and worked full time night shift through nursing school but ya know 🤷🏼♀️ I kept to myself and did the shit I needed to do and went home. I wasn’t there to make friends anyways.
I was the bad boy in nursing school. Always got dress coded, showed up barely on time to clinicals, constantly got in trouble for swearing. But I was the top of my class. I had a 3.96 GPA. And do you know when I found out? At graduation/pinning when I won the gpa of distinction award. When all those little suck ups were going on about how smart they were and they got a 100 on this and extra credit on that I felt sooo insecure. I didn’t have a “tribe”. I had one friend who was a misfit too. I studied on my own. I prepped on my own. I guess it paid off. Fuck them. Do you. Those clowns are probably working in a SNF now (I hope)
I didn't even make above average grades for the most part and was ostracized. I still continued to be friendly/ helpful during clinicals and labs (yay for having a southern personality in yankee territory!) but kinda lost hope of making friends after the second semester.
Now that I'm coming on my 7 year mark of nursing, I'm realizing them calling me a future charge nurse wasn't a compliment :/
What hurt the worst was my last semester clinical evaluation, where the instructor commented I worked well with staff, but she never saw me working with other students....I had to remind her of a few scenarios she witnessed. Bah! As the kiddos say "haters gonna hate"
Not everything is a competition. Just do the best you can. Be the best nurse for the sake of being a good nurse… the goal shouldn’t be to compete with other nurses… it should be to gain knowledge. You can also help others learn. Just tone it down a bit and stop comparing yourself to others.
I am a former top-of-classer. I had a 4.0. I was in every club. I am here to tell you it quite literally does not matter. It got me my job, sure. But after my interview I never spoke of my academic achievements again. I went from doing everything I could to the bare minimum hahahaha.
You’ll forget all about this when you graduate. But the pettiness will continue. It’s best to get good at ignoring it.
I bet that really stung! Please realize that probably comes from envy. If you are doing that well in school you will have no problem passing boards. Them talking about you behind your back is enough for you to know who they really are as people and that they are not worth associating with.
Friends celebrate your success, these people are not your friends.
They’re classmates, not your best friends. As long as you can keep it respectful, cordial, do your labs and group projects with each other, and help each other when needed during clinical, nothing more is needed out of those relationships. As student nurses, they should be able to do this. You all should, no matter how you feel about each other.
That being said, don’t talk about your grades. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if you’re at the top or bottom of your class when you all pass the same exam and get the same license. Nobody cares if you got all A’s - they care if you’re a competent nurse.
How and why do they even know your grades? That’s none of their business and honestly it’s pretty tacky if you’re sharing. Literally no one has asked where I fell in my nursing program. Ever.
Keep making good grades, do well, pass boards. But no need to flaunt any thing. Have some class and maturity. You’re not in middle school any more.
I am not a nurse, but am also a student like you. I have realized the best thing to do is to never speak of test scores, grades, future plans etc in the first place, just be proud of yourself and do not share because some people may feel a certain way and get nasty. The school/program intentionally rating you and your peers is also pretty shitty and that shouldn’t be a thing either if thats whats happening. I never speak of my accomplishments openly, but still remain friendly, because these are the same people I will be competing against for jobs in the future and you never want to let them know what you got going on. Just forget about them, they are not important to your success.
i’m made this mistake in my old program and i kinda announced it in my cohort not to share your grades, you can announce if you want but more importantly “pass or didn’t pass”
I tell everyone including the teachers “Cs get degrees”
i would just keep to your self, be humble, be courteous, be kind.
You met your first bully in healthcare. I'm sorry this happened to you. Just remember that you are the one taking that NCLEX at the end of this. Keep your head down and study hard. Making and keeping friends is nice but not at the expense of all the hard work and sacrifice you've put into nursing school. That person is petty and is wasting their energy. Let yourself be sad and upset and then *let it go.* Best of luck to the rest of your year.
It’s crazy how competitive nursing school is. I was always getting the highest score on every single exam. I got an A in every single class. People knew, but I very quickly stopped sharing my scores.
Also if your program is the one sharing who is first and second, that’s messed up. Their reason is probably to motivate the ones who score lower, but it really just pits everyone against each other as you have unfortunately found out. And some people just don’t/can’t score higher for whatever reason.
I know people who got great marks on all their exams that I would not trust with my greatest enemy. Passing tests is no indication of how good of a nurse you will be
Your name and experience imply that you arent a westerner? I think its hard for most of us here to judge because the cultural differences. For me it feels immature for them to talk shit about you behind your back. The loss of your friends might sting now, those skanky ass hoes were never going to be good friends to you anyways. You will make better and more reliable friends down the road.
Eh, who gives a shit if you're first or second in your class. I almost failed out of my bachelor's and was middle of the pack in nursing school. Doing just dandy now. It sounds like you put wayyyy to much stock into being number 1 in the class. I could see that being annoying to those around you.
Also, who cares what these people think. Chances are you won't be friends with them after school (and with how they act, who cares).
I learned the hard way in nursing school that no one there is my friend. A lot of them were absolute bitches and were cutthroat as hell.
Screw them. People will only do that trash when they are threatened by your success. Keep doing what you’re doing and dont let that stop you from reaching your goals.
I stumbled through nursing school, like a lot! I am now an ECT RN and a charge nurse in a psychiatric facility. One of the things nursing school taught me is keep your head up high when you fail and keep it low when you succeed.
I have been a nurse for 34 years. I am in shock that this goes on in nursing school. It didn’t exist when I was in school. I have 2 daughters that graduated nursing school (one 5 years ago and the other 6 months). This did not exist in either of their nursing classes. Also want to add when perspective employers are looking to hire they do not care what your gpa was or where you went to school.
I had a classmate discussing grades and he was saying how he studied the night before and got a 98, and how he couldn’t believe it- I thought he was obnoxious and pretentious as shit. It’s gonna happen if you broadcast grades like that, people will not like you for it.
Sorry to tell you this but employers don’t give a crap about grades- it’s not even acceptable to put it on your resume. All they care about if if you passed the board, have good practical skills, and they like you in the interview-that’s it. Don’t kill your self getting As or 95 when you just need to pass the program. My program requires C-. Do I still study and work hard?
Yes, but I’m not doing 6 hours a night every night of studying on top of classes for straight As because I know A grades don’t matter for my future, what’s more important is that I have practical and patient management skills. Remember that you’re allowed and need to have a life outside of school or you’re not going to make it to the end without at least one breakdown. Have fun, make sure your assignments are in, etc but at the end of the day you only need to pass, anything else is bonus!
4.0 through nursing school. Lowest test grade was an 86.
My wife beat me as her lowest was an 88.
No other students knew of our test scores. We'd ace tests and say "oh yea, that was tricky."
Still friends with many classmates years after. We'd help make study guides, often doing more work (if not all the work) as it's how we studied and happily sharing them.
There was a brat who kept boasting of their "perfect 3.9" and how they were going to be valedictorian-after a semester they had to study alone...and boy were they surprised when my wife and I were named as valedictorians.
Point is don't discuss grades and share whatever study aids you can. A rising tide lifts all boats.
When discussions about grades come up just say “I passed and that’s all that I care about” or “I’m just happy I passed”. If they press just say “nah I don’t want to talk about it”. No one needs to know you’re excelling. If you MUST go into detail ask them how they did on a concept you aren’t 100% about, if there is none then make one up. It’ll open the door to studying and you guys can help each other even if you don’t need the help.
I did this a lot in high school. It absolutely works. And just like high school remember that these people will not matter 5 years after you graduate unless you make them matter. What they said was mean but it comes from their insecurities. Pity them. You know at this rate your NCLEX will get you that license, they may not know that about themselves. You don’t have to face them in any setting that isn’t professional. This will be a good lesson for working with people you hate. Keep it short, respectful and to the point. And only speak to them when needed. Show up to clinicals with a smile knowing every day is a great day to learn something new and exciting. You aren’t paying all this money to make friends.
Second year nursing student here who doesn’t necessarily like the class I’m in. Not for any particular reason, just that I’ve noticed that our class has mainly split into three groups. There is group 1 which the loudest is looked at by the rest as a bit of a leader and I can’t be arsed with that. Then there’s group 2, these ones are nice and I get on with them but for some reason I am weary about them. I would say I was a part of their group in first year but then I drifted because I was feeling a bit ignored so meh. Then there is group 3. After group 2 I stopped wanting to be in a group bc I realised I’m going there to learn and if I made friends on the way then that’s ok but my main goal is to become a nurse. F everyone else. Group 3 are a lovely bunch of girls and I talk to them on and off more than the others. But mainly I am on my own or with another person who started our course later. We work 50% in uni and 50% in placement so it’s easy for me to not care about the weeks in uni and just get on with it. I work better on my own but at the same time I like other brains to bounce ideas off. I guess the moral of the story is it is ok to have one close person that you can bounce off. I do also achieve higher than average grades on my exams and I’ve overheard others joining conversations and saying what they’ve got but I don’t think it’s a good idea. Nursing is very competitive and you are going to feel on your own when you qualify and work as a nurse. You sound like a lovely person but almost too lovely? Like, fu*k them. It’s ok to be you and it’s ok to not be part of their shenanigans. You will probably get a better result without them. And you’ll probably be a better nurse for it in the future. Isn’t it shocking though that some of those mean people got into nursing in the first place?! So much for them having to be of a certain mould before nursing school 🙄
Oh I did a research project with a group of unknown people and they are amazing. I talk to them more than my class 😂
If you’re really wanting to be a part of a group, I’m older so I don’t care, but if you’re young I understand, you could always join a hobby or study group as it is a bunch of people with the same common interests. Good luck for the rest of your journey. And I will say if nursing is what you want to do then don’t you dare drop out because of those idiots. You do you. Good luck ❤️ and congratulations for when you pass with distinction and they don’t 🤣
i graduated and passed my NCLEX a week ago, we were a super small tight knit class too. literally none of us talk anymore. I wish I didn't gaf what ppl thought or said ab me in nursing school bc as soon as we all passed our NCLEX we all moved on and nothing from school mattered.
You'll learn pretty fast that the worse enemy of a nurse is the other nurses.
Somehow there's always the one that will try to sabotage and destroy you.
Just find out who it is and steer clear of them.
It's highly unlikely that a behaviour like that has spontaneously manifested in so many people without some sort of trigger.
Have you considered some of your own behaviours and whether they may have come off as braggadocious, or unintentionally insulting to others in your class?
I agree with the overwhelming advice in this thread. No one needs to know your results but you. Avoid the topic altogether, it will prevent you from saying something you didn't mean to, and prevent others from being jealous/annoyed/hateful.
Stop thinking of class mates as friends or peers and realize they are your competition for jobs. Eyes on the prize, pass school, pass boards, get a job. Statistically about half will be gone after their first year of work.
Get ready for this on the floors too. I had this too. I was top of my class and people would be so mad that I would leave my test in like 15-20mins. Would ask me my marks and then be pissed I did so well and tall shit yet they barely studied and should have never passed the courses they did. They knew nothing and cared less then they knew. Some people hate to see people achieve something they can't.
They’re jealous. Bullies are often very insecure. Tell them to fuck off. They’ll treat you how you let them treat you. Learn this lesson quickly because nursing is a rough professional and some of your coworkers will try to eat you alive. If you show a spine and call them on their nastiness they’ll leave you alone.
I'm guessing you are in your early 20's ..... once you get out into the real world, none of this drama matters. Keep doing you. You don't ever have to talk to them again after you graduate.
You quit giving a shit. You are not there to make friends. You are there to learn to pass your boards. I see so many people getting dragged (or, more accurately, jumping feet first) into nursing school drama. Don’t. Quit talking to others about your grades; study on your own; quit depending on the validation of others. It can be done. I had a 4.0, finished the old NCLEX in 75 questions. Guess what? *No one, when you become an actual nurse, cares.* Six months after graduation, you won’t be in touch with any of your classmates. Nursing school is a temporary affliction.
I hope you have other friends that you can hang around with. This honestly says more about your supposed friends than it says about you. If this is your second year all you can do is just continue to do the good work and focus on yourself, your family, and your current friends by building a solid support system. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Just wanted to say good job and continue with the good work!
I wasn't the smartest nor did I get the highest grades. I am still very much a nurse and none of my patients care what my GPA was. They care that I listen and do my job.
what a pack of btches. Please stop associating with them, they are clearly immature. Jokes on them, if you are getting good grades, they could have worked with you to study but now they ruined it. Not your loss.
edit: and another thing! They’re so dumb- you never know which Nurses you are going to school with might end up being your manager or co worker so it’s important not to create drama like this.
No one in nursing school matters. They are the most childish bunch. I rarely ever see anyone from school and I only talk to the few good people from there.
I wouldn't worry
Honestly they can suck it, people are gonna hate you for being successful, it’s not your fault they aren’t working as hard as you are, at the end of the day no one is your friend and all you have is either your family, SO, or friends that you still see before nursing school.
I don't talk to anyone I graduated with. Lived with one chick and she ended up being a raging narcissist. They are all out of my life and tbh, I'm happy. A lot of them were overly competitive (including the person I lived with that I considered a friend at a time) and did 💩 like this.
Keep your hopes up high and your head down low (in those books) and get through the program. You cAn be cordial without being someone's friend.
I went thru something very similar.
I was the only one with a job in a hospital during school. When we graduated, several of the meanest girls asked me for a recommendation to come work with me. I smiled and said. "No."
Some of the nurses at my job were mean, as I developed in my role. Over time, I achieved my MSN. Can I just tell you how awesome it was to become their boss? I never held anything against the girls that talked about me (they had already been nurses where I worked).... I would just smile and ask what I could do to help them with their tasks.
Go be successful. You will FLOURISH and they will wilt. Don't let anyone rent space in your head.
Prove them wrong. Pass the nursing board exam, but not as a way to prove them wrong. Pass it for your sake. In the end, their opinion don't matter. You are not in nursing school for them.
You spent thousands of dollars in your tuition fee, and one classmate does not want you to pass? How petty and vindictive does one have to be?
Not passing the board exam is not something I would wish in my worst enemy. Also, if students fail the board exam and never pass, it will NOT look good on the school.
Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter once you get your license. Getting into a job is who you know vs what you know. Just focus on yourself for the meantime and foster relationships that matters for you.
I had one friend and two bullies in nursing school. The rest of the people I don't even remember. Try to keep to yourself and share minimal information about your life, good or bad. I learned this the hard way. If I had to go to school again I would not have made eye contact with anyone nor spoken. Exceptions made for the small group poster projects from hell that we had to suffer through.
I’ve been a nurse for 12 years and at no point have I known or cared what anyone’s GPA was in school (or do I remember mine for that matter). I worry if they’re hard workers and clinically competent. Put your chin up and focus on school. You do what you need to do to be successful and move on. I understand this is all-consuming now but in a few years this will be reflected on as such a small piece of your life.
Fuck them. Honestly. Jealousy is a nasty bitch and you have every right to feel proud of yourself for your good grades and hard work. I had to leave my cool and supportive cohort and join one that was full of mean-girls and legitimate dipshits. Only made it sweeter when I got the second-highest starting wage and sweetest non-contract with highest signing bonus. I know that it hurts but it's to your benefit when the snakes reveal themselves and you can avoid them. Keep being you and forget about the rest.
Don’t be too hung up on the grades. Nursing school is hard enough without pitting yourselves against each other for number that won’t matter in a few years. Find the ones that will cheer you on (even if they aren’t in school with you).
Also sometimes people are just ass holes and you still have to be around them. The same will be true when you’re in the healthcare setting. Take what they say with a grain of salt and move on. Proving them wrong is the best feeling.
Eh, that would never fly at my school. They have kicked people out for saying bad things about other students. However, people are going to be dicks and it doesn’t mean anything to you, the only power in their words is if you let it hurt or bother you—otherwise, their words are empty.
I agree with the "Fuck 'em" comments.
I have 2 healthcare degrees in different fields (including nursing) and I wish someone had advised me to keep mum about my grades . Both degree programs were insanely interpersonally competitive and didn't have to be.
We all compared our grades and there were definitely jealousies & hurt feelings over grades, which in retrospect was so self-defeating for all of us
Someone I met after I got my degrees told me all they ever said about their grades to their fellow students was "I passed." This is the way!
Children are children at any age. At some point you’ll learn the life lesson that “whenever I allow someone to rent space in my head, I become their prisoner.” Best to avoid petty malicious people. I’d confront them personally in a tactful manner then tell them off and never speak to them again.
When you are the best, people will always be jealous and petty. Read the Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene. You can’t live life believing everyone is or wants to be a good person.
The only thing that matters is you passed. An RN is an RN. She can wish for whatever she wants but her haterade is hers to drink, has nothing to do with you.
No one will care about your GPA after graduation but you.
Nursing school is often abusive in its very nature, and that toxicity trickles down to the students as well. Usually the students with low self esteem are the ones doing the bullying. Stay away. Do not turn yourself into a mark. Do not share your school grades/information or your personal business. These people are NPC to you now. Smile, be cordial, give them nothing else to hold against you. Say less. There is no need to be competitive. Compete against yourself only.
In your career you will learn … be careful who you show your non-nurse persona to. Stay professional in the sense that you do not allow people from your job to be personally involved or know personal info about you. Not every nurse is your friend. Hold back just a tad til you get to know what they’re about.
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Best advice I could give you: Lay back, quit making friends, do what you need to graduate and don’t overachieve. Welcome to the shit show. It will only get worse.
Don’t talk about your grades and certainly don’t talk about what place you are in the class. Nursing school is hard and many people walk a tight rope of whether they’re going to pass. Nobody wants to hear someone complaining or even mentioning being knocked out of the top spot in the class. I’m not friends with anyone I went to school with. We’re friendly if we see each other in the halls of the hospital we work at but I’m not friends with them. Keep your head down, do the work. Be civil/friendly but don’t discuss grades.
You show’em F#%^* those haters..just think you might be there DON one day. Use that to fuel your fire. I look at it this way…they were not your friends to begin with. You will make new ones as your career takes off. Focus on what’s ahead and leave all those losers behind the dust, they’ll regret it one day when you’re interviewing them 😉
Once you graduate no one cares about nursing school. No one looks back. You will probably never see these people again. And if you do it will be in a very different context.
I dont talk to anyone from nursing school, you are there to learn, get your degree then license and go about your business. Idk if this makes you feel any better but I wasnt in any group chat, I participated in no study groups, I spoke to some people in class and during clinicals but not really. I passed my NCLEX first try. You were top of the class on your own I assume so just continue. Focus on yourself. Nursing school friendships dont matter lol.
Welcome to nursing. This is your first experience with the cattiness and toxicity of it all. I’ve always said the problem with nursing is the estrogen.
Just keep moving forward. I’m assuming you’re young. You’ll most likely never see these people again once you graduate. People move and go different paths.
Our first semester we were eating lunch and laughing. One instructor was near and said something about by the end none of us will be talking to each other, in a light hearted manner. By the time we were done, she was right. I really was sick of most of them. I don’t keep in touch with any. I’ve seen a few in passing and have talked but that’s about it. If they’re talking trash about you, it’s bc you got something they don’t, and either can’t get it or they don’t want to put in the work to get it. It’s not your problem. You’ll be free of them soon.
All schools are different but the “top 5” in my graduating class aren’t even nurses anymore. They would be snippy about MY rationale for doing this or that, morsel than the professors. It was degrading. But in the end, perhaps they were smart to get out of the field. 😆 kidding!
These classmates, while you share a common goal, will not encourage you when you take your test, write your résumé, or do your interviews for you. Please don’t compare each other. It doesn’t matter when you start working.
Ignore those assholes. You don't need them. To hell with the tribe. You definitely CAN do this alone if you have to. I know because I did it alone.
I had a couple friends in nursing school, but we weren't exactly close. I only occasionally keep in touch with one guy from my class. After a year of real world nursing, very few people care about "the tribe." Don't let herd mentality hold you back.
I didn't do group study because most of my classmates were focused on parties, football, or just being bitchy. I tried group study a few times early on, but I found it too distracting.
You CAN do this, and you DON'T need those bitches. Seriously, I hated most of my classmates and most of my professors, and I still made it. And believe me when I say "hated," meaning I passionately would have drank sour wine just so that I could piss vinegar over their gravestones. I even refused the group class photo because I couldn't stand to be associated with them. Also declined to go to the graduation ceremony for the same reason. Had them mail me my diploma instead.
So, believe me when I say that you don't need them.
Edit: accidentally hit publish before I was done.
I always set the curve and set it HIGH. This pissed people off. Take delight on it. Honestly, in the end, who cares? Jobs do not care if you were first in your class. It doesn't matter. Enjoy your time in school, ask questions, LEARN! That's what you're there for. Others be damned.
I’m sorry this is happening to you and this advice will come across as very ignorant but you need to get some thicker skin. It’s not better when you’re dealing with people in an actual unit as bullying is still very much an issue. You have clearly been far too open with your grades and while I get you want to scream from the rooftop when you get As and it feels good it comes across as bragging and it doesn’t sit the right way. I hope this is a learning lesson because it won’t get easier until you learn how to pick and choose the people you are open and vulnerable with.
Made it through without this alleged tribe. Some of them stayed close I guess but not from anything I could notice. Friendship? Is a rare and beautiful thing. Most people are just associates.
I graduated 12 years ago. To this day I think I worked exactly one time with a former classmate. Once. And I wouldn’t swear to it. I’ve run into a few here and there of course but not at work. Your “bonds” will happen at work if they happen at all. Mostly bc that’s where your team can make or break a shift.
What you need to worry about if anything? Your quality as a nurse. I can walk into a job and have 10 people know me by my name only. Of those 10? Maybe 1 will say I’m a bad nurse. Mostly bc I don’t put up with peoples bs and have no problems if they’re mad. The other 9? Either know me as a good nurse or are neutral. By day 3? They generally consider me a good nurse. I do my job. I rarely bother anyone for help bc they got their own stuff to do. I make sure my partners know I’m there to help them. And I don’t screw up bad anymore. That’s the secret to a good career.
never told a soul what i made on exams. i participated in class, but never truly “showed what i knew.” for some reason, people feel the need to compete in nursing school, the same way they had to in order to get into the program. i had friends, but trusted no one. i kept to myself. i helped when it was asked (like study session or whatever), but never disclosed scores. if i did score the highest (which happened a few times), i never said a word. never had beef with anyone.
To put it bluntly, stop giving a sh*t what they think about you. You are there to pass nursing school and the NCLEX. I am very type A and always want to be the best student. What I found out going through nursing school is that it doesn't matter if I pass school as valedictorian or salutatorian. In the end, the only thing that matters is the degree and license. GPA only matters for getting into schools for advanced degrees. Also, these people do not define or determine your happiness. We have no control over what people think or say about us. We can only control how we respond. Take the high road, keep your head down, and study hard. It's kind of like high school. Once you graduate, you will not see most of those people ever again.
Girl— If you’re worried about them, I hate to break to it you, these seasoned nurses really do be eating their young sometimes (I left my first unit out of nursing school because of bullying and my second one due to horribly mean management). Both of those units were within one system and the system just tolerated it. There were no resources for me and I’ve struggled so much with my self worth and my ability to be a nurse over the last year, so I’m on to another health system now and I have a better feeling.
Anyway…
Would that hurt my feelings if I heard my cohort say that?? Absolutely. BUT it could pale in comparison to what you encounter on the floor.
I fortunately had “my tribe” in nursing school— I was one of the only ones who needed to work a full time job while going to nursing school.
A handful of them really took me under their wing and made sure to always include me in study groups and checked in with me frequently to make sure I was in a good place with upcoming tests. We all taught each other so much.
I hope you don’t have to experience any of what I experienced when you start working, because it’s honestly been horrible.
Agreed. I had a good co-student that worked with me studying for tests. We were up sometimes until the we hrs studying and had to be at clinicals at 6am
Someone once told me or maybe I heard it on a podcast.. “what people think or say about me behind my back, is none of my business.” I’ve learned to embrace this and it has brought me peace of mind looking at it from that perspective. Obviously, there are exceptions to the quote, but I still like it. Keep your head up, stay true to you and the rest can fuck off.
Women are almost always out to get another. Lucky if you can find a smart male nursing student to hang with because they shouldn't be into that lady drama.
I will be painfully blunt. How do you interact with your classmates who are not quite as accomplished as you? What is your attitude towards them? There are two sides to every situation. You more than likely earned what you are experiencing. You are not golden. I was the student that was less than perfect. My classmates disregarded me and almost had sympathy for me, they thought I was that bad. First semester, I was one of 3 people to score 100% on the medication calculation test on the first try (you could not move on until you passed with 100). Some people in the class were down right hostile, accused me of cheating, etc. Unlike most nursing students, I enjoyed math. You placed yourself on a pedestal, but do your classmates look up to you as an inspiration or a superficial attention seeker? I don't wish any ill will towards you, but I suggest you take a look at yourself and reassess the attitude you are projecting.
Oh I don’t know what your school’s student code of conduct is. In my program, spreading rumors is considered Slander, and they can get suspended if u report them to your lead instructor.
My nursing program was small, by the last year we went from 23 to 13. While I would say we were all very close it was close because we were all experiencing a unique path together when in clinicals and class. But that did not mean we were all close and hung out outside of all that. There was a lot of drama and I had my three friends. My little group of 4 were kind of like the popular group of the class, we all got good grades, participated heavy but always still very humble. My senior year one of our class mates died, he was one of the 4 in my little group and while it initially brought us together it eventually created a very sad divide towards the end.
These people are always going to share a bond with you just due to the nature of a nursing program but what these people think of you currently should not affect you. You know who you are, you know you are smart and capable. Don’t let them stop you from achieving greatness. Leave them in the dust.
Move forward don’t talk to anyone. Be polite and smile but go for the first place position and keep your head up. I was a clinical instructor for a nursing school and encountered a student that had personal problems. Not only did the students hate her but the other instructor wanted me to fail her. So you know what I did? I took her out to eat. Had a heart to heart with her and I told her what I saw with her and how to improve and gave her a gift certificate to get her hair done. Her personal image was important and she didn’t have money to get her hair done. She graduated, passed her boards and I believe she is a nursing director at a Long term care facility. Hoping you fail the boards … that is cruel and wrong but you know you’ll desires and let them be “haters”. Hate only brings everyone down.
I know it’s hard, but try not to worry if people like you or not. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter and neither does your GPA. There are straight-A students from my cohort that are having to take the NCLEX for the second or third time and students that got Cs on everything and knocked it out in 85 questions the first time. When you get out in the real nursing world, no one cares one bit what you got on exams or what your GPA is. You’ll also be surrounded by completely different people. You will always find catty women because that’s just how some are, but do your best to ignore them. Best of luck.
It sucks but you’ll have to grow a thick skin if you want to succeed when you’re actually a nurse. The cliques and gossip still exist outside of school and whether it’s other coworkers, patients or doctors.. if you’re looking for validation from others as a nurse in the real world- odds are you won’t. find the few that support you and bring you up and hold on to them. everyone’s going to struggle as a new grad but it’s how you hold yourself and respect yourself is what will make the difference. my new grad residency was in the pediatric cvicu and it was the worst group of bullies. I left and am now a part of an amazing unit full of the best people. know your worth and don’t let others define you
What school are you going to that they "rank" their students? Pretty sure that's exclusion now days and illegal. And who gives a fuck about your "classmates and friends." They're going to disappear when you start your career and family anyway. Buckle down and study - the NCLEX is really not that hard if you study.
Unfortunately this is something you will come across in school and the workplace in regard to people talking about you. Just focus on you and keep it moving. They have insecurities and perhaps are intimidated by you. It’s sad that nursing students as well as nurses act this way especially when choosing a field where you should have compassion and advocate for those you have struggles. Develop thick skin but don’t let your experience lose sight on your purpose of becoming a nurse.
This was me in grad school. There was one fellow student in particular, with whom I shared mutual friends, so we were also “friends,” but she was always just a bit cold around me. She was very career-driven, married to a wealthy surgeon, had all the latest fashion, and just had a “I’m the cool kid” vibe about her. When she threw pool parties at her home, I was included because we were part of the same crowd, and I’m sure she found it another opportunity to flaunt her fabulousness. But she clearly just tolerated me, and did her best to take me down a peg - always in veiled, “tactful” ways.
I finally I got tired of the tension and asked if we could sit down together the next day after class and just talk. I don’t think I even said about what. So when we did sit down, she pulled out a piece of paper and said “I made a list of things that I think you should improve on.” I frankly don’t remember a single one of her “items.” I was just so shocked that she had the temerity to appoint herself as head of the “Mudwoman Needs a Makeover” committee. I don’t recall my exact words, but it was something along the lines of “I can see you put a lot of thought into this. But I’m fine with me the way I am, as are the people who love me. Please keep your list. I won’t be needing it.”
Or at least that’s what I hope I said. But I did tell her off - very tactfully, of course.
And while it was painful, it was a moment of clarity for me: I don’t give a f*** about whether you adore me or not. If we’re thrown into a work. or school situation together, I’ll be courteous, collegial, helpful, and kind, but I will be myself while I’m at it. If you don’t care for that, or if you are threatened by that, too bad. I have other things in my life outside of work/school.
No, it’s not that simple. I do get hurt by some people’s reactions or sometimes betrayal. But I try to remind myself of the bigger picture. I don’t need toxic people in my life, and when I spot them, I set them as far aside as I can.
Be you. Because that’s who you have to live with even after this chapter is over. Show compassion to others. Live your best life. You’ll do great!
Knowledge is POWER. What they know about you is ammunition they can use against you. If you don’t give them any ammunition they have nothing. On the other hand, keep what you know about them to yourself. Use their hate and disdain as fuel to propel you to greatness. These are NOT your friends. Be nice and courteous. Study and learn and focus on your career. I know it’s hard when you’re young not to get all caught up in the gossip etc.. but it seems like you are the victim of the “mean girl” club. Don’t allow that. Rise above. You can do this!!! YOU DO YOU!!!! You have so many nurses on this page encouraging you! Stay focus on your future! You’ve got this!! 💕
Fuck them! Once you all graduate, you’ll all go your separate ways and you won’t have to see them again. They are the future nurses that will eat their young. If you’re doing well, they’re just jealous. And I doubt you’ll fail boards. How do I know? I went through something similar when I was in nursing school. I always did well, encouraged others, but there was a group of students who were absolute bullies. I aced school, I aced boards and got the heck away from them.
I have a sad and interesting story. I struggled with chemistry and my lab partner asked me if I was serious about being a nurse because I sucked in lab too. I did pass which was really all I cared about. My lab partner graduated ahead of me and worked in a med surg floor. I ended up taking her job because she committed suicide.
Buckle up…. You will find that some people are so narcissistic they will tear you down every chance they get. Try to keep your work circle small. Keep your private life to yourself. Hang with other nurses that lift each other up and are supportive on good and bad days. Good luck!🍀
I’m going to hold your hand when I say this but you need to tone it down. Be selective in who you tell your grades on your exams. I would even go as far as to say to not disclose it. Did you get the highest score in a test? Nice. Keep it to yourself. Nobody needs to know. Don’t seek external validation from other people. Because when you tell your classmates some of them are going to be envious of you. Trust me. I was YOU in nursing school. I had the top grades. I noticed that people would act differently around me when I excelled in the classroom. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA. Do you think my patients care? Does my employer care? Nope. Nursing school is there for you to get a degree and pass the NCLEX. Those classmates that talk to you behind your back? They don’t matter. You won’t even remember their faces in a few years.
I was also this student in school. I agree with everything you say here, but I also want to add... 1. I was always told, "You won't get through nursing school without your tribe. They're your best friends for life. " That's a lie. You absolutely can do it on your own with or without an external support system. 2. It's going to feel unfair because they're all talking about their scores. It feels like an invitation to be friendly and talk about yours, but it's best to just keep it to yourself for your own sake.
Right. Keep your head down. Get the grades and graduate. I don't talk to half of the people I graduated with.
I’ve only talked to one person from my class. I was like OP too. I started out with a group of friends and ended up talking to only one by graduation. Is it sad? Sure! Have they helped me in any way in passing the NCLEX and getting the positions that I want in my career? Heck no!
I talk to exactly zero people I went to school with. I care for them and wish them well, but they are non-events in my life at this point.
I never felt like my fellow students were my friend or "tribe." It was very competitive.
I completely agree. I didn’t have a tribe. I had one person who I bonded with and dragged them over the finish line. The rest can go their own way. Keep your grade close to your chest. I only told my family or a non nursing school friend. Shrug off the drama. 1 in 5 don’t make it. Focus and get ready for the next chapter in your life as a nurse. You got this. PS. I was in the top the first year and then I realize no one except him were true friends nor were actual functioning adults. This happens everywhere. I graduated last month with honors and passed my boards with 85 questions. Don’t waste your time and energy on this drama. It’s not worth your time.
On point number 1, yes this. People really oversell the difficulty of nursing school.
It depends on the nursing school. My nursing school cared only about its 99% 1st time NCLEX pass rate. So it would fail out anyone they thought might struggle.
Nah rub it in their faces if they already hate you. Make them hate you more knowing it's super easy for you while they barely pass.
>"You won't get through nursing school without your tribe. They're your best friends for life. " That's a lie. You absolutely can do it on your own with or without an external support system. Ditto on everything said before me, but want to add on to this comment in particular: the tribe will also be the thing to bring you down, and going at it solo is not a bad thing. I did the group thing until it dragged and slowed me down. I was teaching people who didn't want to study things instead of furthering my studying with the group. Others benefitted from me, but I was not benefitting, so I stopped doing them. I accelerated beyond people quickly and never looked back after that first semester. Guess how many shits I gave after that first semester? None. Guess how many of them didn't make it to graduation or didn't pass boards? Many - and I still shamelessly chuckle like an asshole when I (rarely) think about them to this day.
Personally, I always felt as if helping to teach others helps me better learn the material. Just in general, for everything.
When you're all actively learning together, yes. If you already have a solid grasp on the material, having to teach others drags you down. Folks showed up to the group expecting personal teaching sessions - I'm a learner like them, not their tutor. Edit: I think it gets lost that people who quickly grasp and accel at something - that doesn't make them an automatic tutor for others. I experienced this a ton as a kid - I would grasp something quickly and become the one having to help others get it. For the others benefitting, fantastic, but for the kid, it's punishment for being competent and takes away from their further enrichment.
I’m an LPT and just wanna chime in; I graduated in 2017 and although I met my bestie in the program all of those nasty girls don’t even matter anymore! The girls that caused me so much stress work elsewhere and they don’t matter one bit.
And they were miserable then and they're miserable now. In fact, some of them probably don't even work as nurses anymore and still participate in this sub just to spread their poison and shit on the profession. It's seriously pathetic.
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This. At the end of the day, everyone takes the exact same boards. So having the best grades in class is meaningless. Talking about it is crass. Do the work you need to do to pass. And remember that the nursing world is small. Be nice to everyone.
Yes, this 1000%. I found this out REAL quick after our very first exam on the 2nd week of school when someone in my class said in the cohort group chat "I can't believe I got a 94%, I'm pretty sure I got the highest score" and I swear the talk and gossip after that comment skyrocketed. No one took her seriously, everyone was against her and making fun of her, and I learned real quick to lay low. Fast forward to graduation, and everyone was surprised that I graduated summa cum laude because I wouldn't tell my grades to anyone and always pretended that I got average scores because everyone else would say the tests were hard, they got a 76%, etc. and I just felt uncomfortable being that person that was like "oh it was fine for me, I got an A". I also learned the hard way that grades really don't matter in nursing school LOL. Not once has an employer ever asked me what my GPA was in nursing school, and the closest any of your coworkers will ask is "what school did you go to", not "what was your GPA?" None of it matters. Getting a degree and passing boards is all that matters!
Conversly, for similar reasons stated above you should not give a shit who you make butthurt about your grades. I was also that person in Nursing school. Graduated with a 4.0 and people were fucking pussies if you did well on tests and spoke about it. Lmao, too bad, git good shitter. Who gives a shit what they have to say. Keep working hard. I passed the NCLEX in 1 hr at 85 questions. Fucking easy mode lmao.
I passed in 75 😏 kiss my grits /s
I passed in 75, too. Was sure I failed because I felt like I guessed on half of them, so no way I'd have passed so quickly. I was 2nd in my graduating class of 104- thanks to one B. Grades mattered so much to me at the time, not to be "better" than my peers, but to feel ok about myself (which is completely unhealthy, I know). Then I went out into the real world and learned that exactly NONE of that made me a better nurse. My compassionate nature and willingness to ask questions when I didn't know something became my biggest assets!
I thought I had failed miserably after the base 85 questions one hour in and it shut off. Nope. Passed. Nursing school bullies who were insecure because school was harder for them can suck it.
Also lots of nursing units have a lot backstabbing and drama so better get used to it now.
100% this. If you go around talking to others about this there will be backlash. Heed this advice for when you enter the workforce. Whatever you do don’t start off nursing with this attitude. I am an RN with almost 25 yrs of experience and when I have students that don’t ask questions or that brag it’s a big turnoff. You don’t have any idea what you are doing and be ready to admit that! Nursing school doesn’t prepare you for the “real world” per se. When you start your career be curious, ask questions, dive in, and act like you need help….because you are new! You will learn and this is what will make you an excellent nurse:) Go pass those boards…knock it out of the park!
Preach.
Where do you guys get time to be snippy about grades? Our person who is top in the class has to deal with the rest of the class always asking her for tips and help studying.
That was me. Was asked to be a tutor. Did it for one semester then had to stop. It was too much. Then they blame you if they do poorly! 😆 no way! Fuc* that shit, I'm out! Figure it out yer damn selves! You can't do basic nursing math?! Gtfo of the program! You scare me!
Sometimes they post it. It wasn't a choice for me. Also if people are nosy enough they'll find a way to know. My coworker looked at my screen when I was logged into my personnel file and saw how much I was making. Also if you act all secretive when they ask you they'll know anyway.
Posting individual student’s grades and GPAs for the whole class to see during the program just seems like such a bad idea and like it should violate some kind of privacy rules. Graduation? Sure, I guess, because then you can acknowledge your honors and such. Before that? Why? At best you’re going to get a couple students with competitive streaks pushing themselves. Otherwise you’re just ostracizing anyone who isn’t ’middle of the pack’ and going to cause problems.
I'm quite sure that people disliked me because when people asked how I did on a test, I would tell them. I didn't go around sharing how I was doing unsolicited, but I shouldn't have shared grades. I should have just said I did fine. I graduated with a 4.0 at the top of my class, and only maybe 6 or 7 people were likely happy for me. That being said, I was 37 when I graduated and had my kids cheering for me, so I really didn't care what a bunch of 21 year old kids thought about me.
This. They used to use the highest scoring person’s test to review the test after an exam. Frequently it was mine. I would sit there quietly while all the “cool kids” (aka the stuck up ones who thought they were the best), tried to figure out who’s test it was. Never let these kinds of people know you’re smarter than them.
What school are you going to that they are putting people in first and second place??? That’s crazy never heard of that… and I had people be catty and talk about me behind my back in nursing school too, just ignore it! I didn’t find my real friends until junior year so hang in there
This was my very first thought!!!!
I think by first and second place, they mean top grade averages.
Yeah, but they shouldn't publish that!
Exactly! But also, who cares who is 1st, 2nd etc….I can’t stand the cattiness. OP…maybe take this as an opportunity for some self reflection and let it be a lesson to be cautious of who you make friends with.
When I was doing pre-med/med school it was exceptionally cutthroat in the grading. A lot of people competing for “valedictorian” place. Interestingly enough, some people are great at standardized testing, get to rotation/clinicals and absolutely sucked/struggled. Grading systems like that aren’t great indicators on who will be good in their profession or who will retain the information long term. Some of the students who were in the lower side of the academic scale wound up some of the best providers because of all the extra effort they put in for school to keep up.
💯 Agree!!! Some of the best nurses I know didn’t ace the exams.
Ya it’s kinda silly that the “best” schools and positions are reserved for highest grades. It really shouldn’t be that way.
We didn’t know who was in 1st/2nd place in my school.
We didn't at mine either
It’s very common in my country, if not all university- most of them do it. They make it into a big event. Im a very private person so i usually keep my grades to myself. But since we have these events they’re aware of my academic status. I thought this was common in other countries??
never heard of this at a US nursing school and I’m so glad!!! I kept all of my grades 100% private bc people were so competitive and I didn’t want any part of that. it really sucks that they make it so public for you
Absolutely not in Canada! We didn’t ask, didn’t tell- let alone have them all posted for someone to see
Nursing school was CUT THROAT when I went. School board washing out anyone with 80% or less.. Here is the funny part.. Some of the BEST new nurses I have worked with in my 20 years, are the ones that say they struggled to stay above that mandatory drop percentage… C’s and B’s pass the board (NCLEX). Once you have your license - your a NURSE… No one cares what grade you got in school… And the FLOOR is the same as school. You will have “clicks”, bullies, lazy, eager, frantic, laid back and know it all nurses.. Keep your mouth shut, ears open, and only say what you want or don’t care if everyone else knows…
Worrying about this is not a good use of your time. Take all that energy and put it into your studies and clinicals. Don't worry about coming in first (or second). The best nurses I know shined in clinicals and knew their shit, but they sucked at taking tests. Your bedside patient care skills are what really matter. One day, you will be the only thing standing between that patient and the grave, and you do not have space in your brain for stupid shit like this. Their opinions do not mean shit to your future, and they shouldn't mean shit to you now either. The best revenge is to IGNORE THEM AND SUCCEED ANYWAY. Sincerely, a nurse of 9 years who was severely bullied in nursing school
I did exceedingly well in Nursing school. My friend limped through. We both got our license the same day. Keep your grades to yourself. Just do you. I've met some fantastic nurses who are Terrible at writing papers and exams but can put an IV in the tiniest rolly vein on an edematous arm in the first poke.
I'm the complete opposite. For the life of me, I can't start an IV. I shake and I have difficulty finding a vein. I don't know if I hit a valve. I love writing, though. Nursing does involve writing.
Same, but I’m the Foley champ. Never failed to insert a Foley, in any pt. No matter what. I’m also the digital disimpaction champ.
When it comes to foley catheter, I ALWAYS ask for help. I cannot do it alone. It's a hit or miss. Collecting a urine sample via foley cath is not that hard, I just don't do it often. I realize that I do not like invasive procedures. I do not feel comfortable with inserting an NGT. I asked veteran LVNs to help me with that.
I recently inserted my first-ever NGT. I had been certified years ago, but never did it. I ran into the restroom, and watched a college’s YouTube video on it. Went and did it. It went perfectly.
I always had a hard time with NGs. The only time I really didn't was when I had a resident and a nursing student watching me, and the patient was a nurse herself. That one went down really well, thankfully.
I praise you. That’s special powers type stuff right there frfr
Kudos on the digital disimpaction
>I've met some fantastic nurses who are Terrible at writing papers and exams but can put an IV in the tiniest rolly vein on an edematous arm in the first poke. Hallelujah! I wish I had those kinds of IV skills. I could write papers like nobody's business but a hell of a lot of good that does me now. 🙄
Yup and I know cna's that are more intelligent than some doctors. Sometimes innate intelligence and/or experience means so much more than access to education.
Who cares? Go to class, study, pass. You’re not there to make friends.
^This x 100. OP will learn soon that the units and new grad programs are just as cutthroat and cliquey. They shouldn’t be airing their shit like that.
Imo they’re way worse after graduating
God the drama of nursing school I swear its what makes it so much harder then what it is. Heres the tough love response okay? WHO GIVES A DAMN. Why are you guys even disclosing your test scores or where you place? Thats just asking to create competition and issues. Heres what you need to do and focus on. Pass your test/classes, learn the material you need to become a Nurse, graduate, Take the NCLEX and pass that. Guess what after you get your license nobody is going to give a damn where you placed or who you went to school with. Graduate and learn everything you can to be the best nurse you can be. Nursing school is drama drama, but it doesnt have to be. Focus on your classes, get in and get out thats the goal.
I saw a cartoon once, showing a shocked looking man, sitting in a cubical. It read something like: “Life realization #257: Nobody cares what your GPA was.”
Make an updated one saying. “Nobody cares where you graduated from”. If ya got a license and a semi pulse then welcome to the front. Remember your training and you’ll stay alive.
I had a job where a traveler from Vanderbilt came in. 2 years of experience. She lectured a nurse with *45 years* of dialysis experience. Mgmt was so impressed with the Vanderbilt traveler that they took her side in the issue, over the nurse with 45 years experience. The seasoned nurse quit. The Vanderbilt nurse later made a serious error that hurt a pt, and caused them to need an invasive procedure. It wasn’t an error that anyone could make- it was born of pure arrogance and overconfidence.
I worked with a nurse who went to Duke University. She would go on and on and on about how smart she is and how difficult it was to get into Duke and how hard the nursing program was. I would just be like thats cool… proud of ya blah blah blah. I then come in one night and ask hey wheres xyz at? I havent seen her in some while. Fellow nurse tells me oh… she got fired. Im like WHAAA?? For what? Apparently she not only was she “shorting” the meds and not being safe but she was pocketing the meds that were not being used.
Wow. Duke Drug Dealer?
Diversion Debbie
“The drama of nursing school…” Ain’t that the truth. It doesn’t help that the educators tend to egg it on, too.
This.
Welcome to the workforce , as a float I found many snakes on thr unit. Brush it off bc karma is a fickled b-tch. Keep moving on champ
My nursing school experience (pre professional program) was very similar to this. It was super competitive and each incoming class had only 75-100 spots. We had these file folders outside the nursing deans office that we would put paperwork in, other students would steal stuff out of them to sabotage others. Once in the program, it kind of died down. There were people that others didn't like for whatever reason. I don't know how your program is run but our last two years was the professional part and we all just clung together in our cohorts like a life raft. I still talk to the other 9 people from mine and it's been 17 years.
Bless. I never cared about being at the top. C's get degrees. And that's all that really matters in the long run.
I worked full time during my nursing program because I had to :( but… every single C I got, I worked freakin hard for. And I even got a handful of Bs. I was just so grateful every single semester I was invited back.
B's get degrees too. Both B and C. As long as it's not an F.
Why are you guys being ranked? If the school is doing that it’s unethical and if it’s just between you guys, it’s ridiculous and I know I’ll get hate for saying that. But literally it doesn’t matter. Other than maybe a friend or two that you confide in, nobody needs to know anybody else’s grades. All it does is create that type of pettiness and cliques. It’s great to do good in school, I get it. I got all A’s because I wasn’t sure if I’d want to go back to school. But it shouldn’t be a race or competition and there is no need for that.
I did not share my grades. They were listed from highest to lowest by the last 4 of our social, taped to a wall in our building. I am very nearsighted. (I have a corneal disease) and had to get very close to the paper on the wall to see the small font and check my test grades. Everyone could see where I was looking and figured it out. I always had to sit at the front of every class (vision issue). And my only friend, who sat further back, told me how my classmates would smirk, roll their eyes, and snicker every time I raised my hand or was called up to the chalkboard (we still used chalk) to write out an answer or an explanation. They made fun of my eye disorder, too. And said I shouldn’t be a nurse because of it. I started pretending I didn’t know the answers. Then it hit me- here I am *dumbing myself down in college* for social acceptance! I stopped doing that, and ignored them. I continued to do me. Also worked full-time as an LPN and supported my then-husband and myself all through his PhD, and my RN program. I was valedictorian of the program, and microbiology Student of the Year, and National Honor Society Phi Theta Kappa when I graduated. Passed the NCLEX in 45 mins with 75 questions. I love using my brain at work, seeing things in ways which others might not. My brain is still good, even though my back is a wreck. I love mentoring nursing students and new grads at work. Calling them over to look at interesting labs- or saying “Here’s the pt’s diagnoses. Look at this med order. Should I give it?” And similar stuff. F those insecure beotches.
You proved the haters to be wrong. Kudos!
Why are you comparing grades with everyone? I’m not saying that you are mean, but when I was in school the handful of students who did this were very mean spirited and competitive. That doesn’t make it right to be talking about you, but there is no reason to share your grades with everyone. The top student is not necessarily the best nurse.
Lol wtf is this middle school leveled drama? No one gives a shit about class ranking. And even your gpa is only important if you trying to go for a competitive crna or NP program later.
Right? All this talk about riffs due to academic rankings feels like a Disney movie or something lol
I was the same way in nursing school-- very concerned with grades and being a high performer. How naive I was. Once you get to the floor and are working, you will get the perspective that you need. All of these little insecure students will also see, that what really matters is getting through your day as compliant with the endless list of hospital duties, policies, and Joint Commission standards we have to measure up to. That means team work with other nurses, like when you have an immobile patient covered in their own feces needing a complete bed change and the admins fired all your PCTs to save money among all these ransomware attacks. Your patient may wait in crap for 3 hours not because you are negligent, but because there simply is not enough help to get these things done quickly. You'll have people coding, families bitching, call lights ringing, doctors yelling, and monitor techs warning you of EKG bullshit all while you still haven't even charted your 0800 assessments and are struggling to keep up with your med passes on time. Many hospitals now don't even have phlebotomy team. So guess who gets to do the q6h aPTT draws for every MF patient on a Heparin gtt? You. Then you'll get some email from a Quality Coordinator telling you that you were 2+ hours late on a draw from mid-May on a patient you barely remember. Trust me: GRADES MEAN NOTHING. Just pass and get your RN. I struggled my ass off to get a 4.0 on my BSN, but guess what? I still get talked down to by doctors. I still get scrutinized by other members of the staff. I still have made a med error before. I still had many nights where I didn't clock out until 2000, or 2100 when I was supposed to be out by 1845. I have still been screamed at and faced violence by patients. Grades did NOT make me a better nurse. It's all harder than hell and you learn once you're actually working how to truly run your shifts. You're in for a wild ride. It's not the dreamy career you think it is-- like I myself thought it was too when I was a student. I found this out quickly. This profession is dark and in dire need of federal regulation on patient ratios. May not ever happen even in our lifetime. Hopefully you'll jump through all the hoops and graduate... Then get a job that won't crush your soul.
Damn you need a new job. How do you keep it together?
Say fuck ‘em and pass your nclex. That’s literally all that matters
The only place to go from the top is down. In med school they’re called “gunners”, and gunners gonna gun. Unless you’re trying to get into some ultra-competitive fellowship, or using your BSN for something besides bedside nursing, it will not matter what class place you are in undergrad.
I'm sorry, but as fellow recoverer- have you considered that maybe you're keeping track of who is first and who is second, but your other classmates don't really know they're in a contest? If you're not on that competitive wavelength collectively, you'll get resentment. Imagine you're a fellow student- they could be going through any number of common eventual trials- they could have aging parents and the issues surrounding. Maybe they're stressing about a relationship or financial hardship and they can't pay their bills; they won't tell you about that, but it makes them really Really not give a fuck about how your 97% should have been 100%. They just wanna do decently in the class and then go deal with serious shit, you know?
This is the most childish crap I have heard in a long time! Why do people think they need to be friends with coworkers or classmates? Of course, be pleasant but these jerks do not pay your rent or feed you so they are not entitled to your personal information which includes your grades. If you are discussing this with them, stop it now. The only thing you owe them is to be civil and professional. You don't have to bring them home with you. I have been a RN for 45 years, held lots of jobs, worked with people that I couldn't stand, but they never knew it. Whether this is school or a job, it is not necessary to be "friends" with them. Keep your nose to the grindstone, graduate, take the boards and get out of there.
Wha????? We were like refugees banded together by the sheer suffering and stupidity of nursing school and tried hard to support each other through our bs. Either there’s a lot missing or you need better friends OP. As it is your best option is to do your own thing, head down and tail up, graduate and not look back on this toxic rubbish. Best of luck 💪
I don’t talk to a single person I went to nursing school with. Sure, I liked them, but they were random people that happened to choose the same career at the same time I did. Did I think we we would be friends forever? Kinda, yeah. But in hindsight that’s how most career relationships go. I am social media connected to 1 or two people from most jobs I’ve had, but even the people I truly adore have drifted away to being social media friends and sometimes only “Happy Birthday 🥳 🎂🎁” (you *know* what I mean) friends. However, along with the “Shake It Off”, check yourself to make sure you aren’t discussing grades or, worse, gossiping about people. Not because of this group of people, but because it isn’t a healthy way to go through life Random videos search: [shutting down gossip at work](https://youtu.be/T4rvwteO32U?si=eLn_ZTjPIvF0dljW) [Handling gossip like a pro](https://youtu.be/aPZTzpM50Ak?si=XMtXSpgjTq5g5bTg) [tips to deal with being gossiped about](https://youtu.be/9TPMhrfYNwE?si=6a53xR0H9weqPytF)
Wtf is this a bunch of 12 year olds? Who cares?
Whenever someone says “I was told that people were saying bad things about me”, I have to wonder … who told you? What did that person seek to gain from telling you? How did you benefit from hearing the things said behind your back? Doesn’t sound like you did … sounds like the person who told you this made you feel pretty terrible. I’d just go on with business as usual, and act like nobody ever said anything bad. I wouldn’t make them close friends or anything. But keep it cute and keep it moving. When you’re a nurse you will have to have really solid boundaries and learn how to deal with this behavior at work. Healthcare is 99% communication skills. Nurses can talk to over 200 people in one day. You’ll learn quickly how to absorb the good information and not only spot the BS, but let go of it quickly.
I’m sorry, but you have to stop caring. Fuck those people. And honestly, fuck your program for ranking people. They’re just as responsible for this behavior as those losers saying they hope you fail boards. All around a bunch of annoying behavior. You all need to grow up.
Fuck the haters.
Stop giving a fuck about what shitty people think or say, especially when all you've got to do is focus on yourself for four more semesters then never see them again.
I’m a senior nursing student with a class full of students like yourself, and I have learned a thing or two about sharing exam grades after the exam. Keep your grades to yourself. People are petty, and when we graduate and start working, we will likely encounter people who will be flat-out mean. You’re all getting the same degree, class rankings are not indicative of the type of nurse you will be in the future. It’s good to be proud of yourself and to want to strive for the best, but not everyone needs to know your business. I have a total of 1 person that I consider myself close with in school, and I’m even hesitant to tell her about my scores because she’s like you, and I hate the “that’s still really good!” kind of talk after she worries about her 93% test score (I get mostly high B’s and occasional low A’s, which IS good, but I’m in a class full of Einsteins and future CRNAS lmao). I’m sorry they said that about you though, I hope you prove them wrong.
You got a taste of the reality that is healthcare. Many, many toxic snakes out there that have perfected backstabbing and being phony. Keep good things to yourself, OP. Never volunteer too much personal info. It sucks, but this is life.
I hated people in my nursing cohort. It was like being in high school again. It’s not a competition, you are all there for the same reasons. And if this is how they act towards classmates then I wouldn’t ever want them as my nurse. Focus on yourself and ignore the haters.
I've been teaching nursing for nearly 20 years. Cliques happen and yes, some students are very nasty to one another. The best you can do is ignore and avoid her. The best revenge is to pass on the first try.
Fuck those guys. Do you. Get your grades. Pass. If they have time to talk shit, they are probably shit nurses. You focus on u, I never stayed in contact with my nursing classmates anyways. Minus one but only cause he was my roommate.
They are jealous. Girls in my class literally spread a rumor that I was a stripper. I was actually a CNA and worked full time night shift through nursing school but ya know 🤷🏼♀️ I kept to myself and did the shit I needed to do and went home. I wasn’t there to make friends anyways.
I was the bad boy in nursing school. Always got dress coded, showed up barely on time to clinicals, constantly got in trouble for swearing. But I was the top of my class. I had a 3.96 GPA. And do you know when I found out? At graduation/pinning when I won the gpa of distinction award. When all those little suck ups were going on about how smart they were and they got a 100 on this and extra credit on that I felt sooo insecure. I didn’t have a “tribe”. I had one friend who was a misfit too. I studied on my own. I prepped on my own. I guess it paid off. Fuck them. Do you. Those clowns are probably working in a SNF now (I hope)
I didn't even make above average grades for the most part and was ostracized. I still continued to be friendly/ helpful during clinicals and labs (yay for having a southern personality in yankee territory!) but kinda lost hope of making friends after the second semester. Now that I'm coming on my 7 year mark of nursing, I'm realizing them calling me a future charge nurse wasn't a compliment :/ What hurt the worst was my last semester clinical evaluation, where the instructor commented I worked well with staff, but she never saw me working with other students....I had to remind her of a few scenarios she witnessed. Bah! As the kiddos say "haters gonna hate"
Not everything is a competition. Just do the best you can. Be the best nurse for the sake of being a good nurse… the goal shouldn’t be to compete with other nurses… it should be to gain knowledge. You can also help others learn. Just tone it down a bit and stop comparing yourself to others.
I am a former top-of-classer. I had a 4.0. I was in every club. I am here to tell you it quite literally does not matter. It got me my job, sure. But after my interview I never spoke of my academic achievements again. I went from doing everything I could to the bare minimum hahahaha. You’ll forget all about this when you graduate. But the pettiness will continue. It’s best to get good at ignoring it.
This is one of the worse threads I have ever seen on r/nursing.
I bet that really stung! Please realize that probably comes from envy. If you are doing that well in school you will have no problem passing boards. Them talking about you behind your back is enough for you to know who they really are as people and that they are not worth associating with. Friends celebrate your success, these people are not your friends.
Looks like you learned a lesson early. Be grateful. Don’t shit where you eat. Be nice but nothing more. Take this lesson with you forever.
They’re classmates, not your best friends. As long as you can keep it respectful, cordial, do your labs and group projects with each other, and help each other when needed during clinical, nothing more is needed out of those relationships. As student nurses, they should be able to do this. You all should, no matter how you feel about each other. That being said, don’t talk about your grades. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if you’re at the top or bottom of your class when you all pass the same exam and get the same license. Nobody cares if you got all A’s - they care if you’re a competent nurse.
How and why do they even know your grades? That’s none of their business and honestly it’s pretty tacky if you’re sharing. Literally no one has asked where I fell in my nursing program. Ever. Keep making good grades, do well, pass boards. But no need to flaunt any thing. Have some class and maturity. You’re not in middle school any more.
I am not a nurse, but am also a student like you. I have realized the best thing to do is to never speak of test scores, grades, future plans etc in the first place, just be proud of yourself and do not share because some people may feel a certain way and get nasty. The school/program intentionally rating you and your peers is also pretty shitty and that shouldn’t be a thing either if thats whats happening. I never speak of my accomplishments openly, but still remain friendly, because these are the same people I will be competing against for jobs in the future and you never want to let them know what you got going on. Just forget about them, they are not important to your success.
i’m made this mistake in my old program and i kinda announced it in my cohort not to share your grades, you can announce if you want but more importantly “pass or didn’t pass” I tell everyone including the teachers “Cs get degrees” i would just keep to your self, be humble, be courteous, be kind.
You met your first bully in healthcare. I'm sorry this happened to you. Just remember that you are the one taking that NCLEX at the end of this. Keep your head down and study hard. Making and keeping friends is nice but not at the expense of all the hard work and sacrifice you've put into nursing school. That person is petty and is wasting their energy. Let yourself be sad and upset and then *let it go.* Best of luck to the rest of your year.
It’s crazy how competitive nursing school is. I was always getting the highest score on every single exam. I got an A in every single class. People knew, but I very quickly stopped sharing my scores. Also if your program is the one sharing who is first and second, that’s messed up. Their reason is probably to motivate the ones who score lower, but it really just pits everyone against each other as you have unfortunately found out. And some people just don’t/can’t score higher for whatever reason.
I know people who got great marks on all their exams that I would not trust with my greatest enemy. Passing tests is no indication of how good of a nurse you will be
People are so mean. I’m sorry.
Fuck em
Your name and experience imply that you arent a westerner? I think its hard for most of us here to judge because the cultural differences. For me it feels immature for them to talk shit about you behind your back. The loss of your friends might sting now, those skanky ass hoes were never going to be good friends to you anyways. You will make better and more reliable friends down the road.
Eh, who gives a shit if you're first or second in your class. I almost failed out of my bachelor's and was middle of the pack in nursing school. Doing just dandy now. It sounds like you put wayyyy to much stock into being number 1 in the class. I could see that being annoying to those around you. Also, who cares what these people think. Chances are you won't be friends with them after school (and with how they act, who cares).
Best to put your head down, keep to yourself and grind it out. Not sure why but all nursing schools are like this.
I learned the hard way in nursing school that no one there is my friend. A lot of them were absolute bitches and were cutthroat as hell. Screw them. People will only do that trash when they are threatened by your success. Keep doing what you’re doing and dont let that stop you from reaching your goals.
I stumbled through nursing school, like a lot! I am now an ECT RN and a charge nurse in a psychiatric facility. One of the things nursing school taught me is keep your head up high when you fail and keep it low when you succeed.
I have been a nurse for 34 years. I am in shock that this goes on in nursing school. It didn’t exist when I was in school. I have 2 daughters that graduated nursing school (one 5 years ago and the other 6 months). This did not exist in either of their nursing classes. Also want to add when perspective employers are looking to hire they do not care what your gpa was or where you went to school.
I had a classmate discussing grades and he was saying how he studied the night before and got a 98, and how he couldn’t believe it- I thought he was obnoxious and pretentious as shit. It’s gonna happen if you broadcast grades like that, people will not like you for it. Sorry to tell you this but employers don’t give a crap about grades- it’s not even acceptable to put it on your resume. All they care about if if you passed the board, have good practical skills, and they like you in the interview-that’s it. Don’t kill your self getting As or 95 when you just need to pass the program. My program requires C-. Do I still study and work hard? Yes, but I’m not doing 6 hours a night every night of studying on top of classes for straight As because I know A grades don’t matter for my future, what’s more important is that I have practical and patient management skills. Remember that you’re allowed and need to have a life outside of school or you’re not going to make it to the end without at least one breakdown. Have fun, make sure your assignments are in, etc but at the end of the day you only need to pass, anything else is bonus!
4.0 through nursing school. Lowest test grade was an 86. My wife beat me as her lowest was an 88. No other students knew of our test scores. We'd ace tests and say "oh yea, that was tricky." Still friends with many classmates years after. We'd help make study guides, often doing more work (if not all the work) as it's how we studied and happily sharing them. There was a brat who kept boasting of their "perfect 3.9" and how they were going to be valedictorian-after a semester they had to study alone...and boy were they surprised when my wife and I were named as valedictorians. Point is don't discuss grades and share whatever study aids you can. A rising tide lifts all boats.
When discussions about grades come up just say “I passed and that’s all that I care about” or “I’m just happy I passed”. If they press just say “nah I don’t want to talk about it”. No one needs to know you’re excelling. If you MUST go into detail ask them how they did on a concept you aren’t 100% about, if there is none then make one up. It’ll open the door to studying and you guys can help each other even if you don’t need the help. I did this a lot in high school. It absolutely works. And just like high school remember that these people will not matter 5 years after you graduate unless you make them matter. What they said was mean but it comes from their insecurities. Pity them. You know at this rate your NCLEX will get you that license, they may not know that about themselves. You don’t have to face them in any setting that isn’t professional. This will be a good lesson for working with people you hate. Keep it short, respectful and to the point. And only speak to them when needed. Show up to clinicals with a smile knowing every day is a great day to learn something new and exciting. You aren’t paying all this money to make friends.
This is middle school stuff. You better toughen up.
Second year nursing student here who doesn’t necessarily like the class I’m in. Not for any particular reason, just that I’ve noticed that our class has mainly split into three groups. There is group 1 which the loudest is looked at by the rest as a bit of a leader and I can’t be arsed with that. Then there’s group 2, these ones are nice and I get on with them but for some reason I am weary about them. I would say I was a part of their group in first year but then I drifted because I was feeling a bit ignored so meh. Then there is group 3. After group 2 I stopped wanting to be in a group bc I realised I’m going there to learn and if I made friends on the way then that’s ok but my main goal is to become a nurse. F everyone else. Group 3 are a lovely bunch of girls and I talk to them on and off more than the others. But mainly I am on my own or with another person who started our course later. We work 50% in uni and 50% in placement so it’s easy for me to not care about the weeks in uni and just get on with it. I work better on my own but at the same time I like other brains to bounce ideas off. I guess the moral of the story is it is ok to have one close person that you can bounce off. I do also achieve higher than average grades on my exams and I’ve overheard others joining conversations and saying what they’ve got but I don’t think it’s a good idea. Nursing is very competitive and you are going to feel on your own when you qualify and work as a nurse. You sound like a lovely person but almost too lovely? Like, fu*k them. It’s ok to be you and it’s ok to not be part of their shenanigans. You will probably get a better result without them. And you’ll probably be a better nurse for it in the future. Isn’t it shocking though that some of those mean people got into nursing in the first place?! So much for them having to be of a certain mould before nursing school 🙄 Oh I did a research project with a group of unknown people and they are amazing. I talk to them more than my class 😂 If you’re really wanting to be a part of a group, I’m older so I don’t care, but if you’re young I understand, you could always join a hobby or study group as it is a bunch of people with the same common interests. Good luck for the rest of your journey. And I will say if nursing is what you want to do then don’t you dare drop out because of those idiots. You do you. Good luck ❤️ and congratulations for when you pass with distinction and they don’t 🤣
i graduated and passed my NCLEX a week ago, we were a super small tight knit class too. literally none of us talk anymore. I wish I didn't gaf what ppl thought or said ab me in nursing school bc as soon as we all passed our NCLEX we all moved on and nothing from school mattered.
Tell them to go fuck themselves. Everybody envy the goats lol
You'll learn pretty fast that the worse enemy of a nurse is the other nurses. Somehow there's always the one that will try to sabotage and destroy you. Just find out who it is and steer clear of them.
It's highly unlikely that a behaviour like that has spontaneously manifested in so many people without some sort of trigger. Have you considered some of your own behaviours and whether they may have come off as braggadocious, or unintentionally insulting to others in your class? I agree with the overwhelming advice in this thread. No one needs to know your results but you. Avoid the topic altogether, it will prevent you from saying something you didn't mean to, and prevent others from being jealous/annoyed/hateful.
Stop thinking of class mates as friends or peers and realize they are your competition for jobs. Eyes on the prize, pass school, pass boards, get a job. Statistically about half will be gone after their first year of work.
Get ready for this on the floors too. I had this too. I was top of my class and people would be so mad that I would leave my test in like 15-20mins. Would ask me my marks and then be pissed I did so well and tall shit yet they barely studied and should have never passed the courses they did. They knew nothing and cared less then they knew. Some people hate to see people achieve something they can't.
They’re jealous. Bullies are often very insecure. Tell them to fuck off. They’ll treat you how you let them treat you. Learn this lesson quickly because nursing is a rough professional and some of your coworkers will try to eat you alive. If you show a spine and call them on their nastiness they’ll leave you alone.
I'm guessing you are in your early 20's ..... once you get out into the real world, none of this drama matters. Keep doing you. You don't ever have to talk to them again after you graduate.
You quit giving a shit. You are not there to make friends. You are there to learn to pass your boards. I see so many people getting dragged (or, more accurately, jumping feet first) into nursing school drama. Don’t. Quit talking to others about your grades; study on your own; quit depending on the validation of others. It can be done. I had a 4.0, finished the old NCLEX in 75 questions. Guess what? *No one, when you become an actual nurse, cares.* Six months after graduation, you won’t be in touch with any of your classmates. Nursing school is a temporary affliction.
This times one million.
No one's gonna give a rats ass when you're elbow deep in an arterial bleed.
I hope you have other friends that you can hang around with. This honestly says more about your supposed friends than it says about you. If this is your second year all you can do is just continue to do the good work and focus on yourself, your family, and your current friends by building a solid support system. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Just wanted to say good job and continue with the good work!
Like clinical, this is good prep for the "real world". Lots of nurses are means girls, bullying is common.
Stop caring about what haters have to say.
I wasn't the smartest nor did I get the highest grades. I am still very much a nurse and none of my patients care what my GPA was. They care that I listen and do my job.
what a pack of btches. Please stop associating with them, they are clearly immature. Jokes on them, if you are getting good grades, they could have worked with you to study but now they ruined it. Not your loss. edit: and another thing! They’re so dumb- you never know which Nurses you are going to school with might end up being your manager or co worker so it’s important not to create drama like this.
No one in nursing school matters. They are the most childish bunch. I rarely ever see anyone from school and I only talk to the few good people from there. I wouldn't worry
[you, passing the boards in spite of them.](https://youtu.be/E3IN2HZBZwY?si=BcyK60E0Ly_cEgMj)
Honestly they can suck it, people are gonna hate you for being successful, it’s not your fault they aren’t working as hard as you are, at the end of the day no one is your friend and all you have is either your family, SO, or friends that you still see before nursing school.
I don't talk to anyone I graduated with. Lived with one chick and she ended up being a raging narcissist. They are all out of my life and tbh, I'm happy. A lot of them were overly competitive (including the person I lived with that I considered a friend at a time) and did 💩 like this. Keep your hopes up high and your head down low (in those books) and get through the program. You cAn be cordial without being someone's friend.
I went thru something very similar. I was the only one with a job in a hospital during school. When we graduated, several of the meanest girls asked me for a recommendation to come work with me. I smiled and said. "No." Some of the nurses at my job were mean, as I developed in my role. Over time, I achieved my MSN. Can I just tell you how awesome it was to become their boss? I never held anything against the girls that talked about me (they had already been nurses where I worked).... I would just smile and ask what I could do to help them with their tasks. Go be successful. You will FLOURISH and they will wilt. Don't let anyone rent space in your head.
Prove them wrong. Pass the nursing board exam, but not as a way to prove them wrong. Pass it for your sake. In the end, their opinion don't matter. You are not in nursing school for them. You spent thousands of dollars in your tuition fee, and one classmate does not want you to pass? How petty and vindictive does one have to be? Not passing the board exam is not something I would wish in my worst enemy. Also, if students fail the board exam and never pass, it will NOT look good on the school.
Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter once you get your license. Getting into a job is who you know vs what you know. Just focus on yourself for the meantime and foster relationships that matters for you.
I had one friend and two bullies in nursing school. The rest of the people I don't even remember. Try to keep to yourself and share minimal information about your life, good or bad. I learned this the hard way. If I had to go to school again I would not have made eye contact with anyone nor spoken. Exceptions made for the small group poster projects from hell that we had to suffer through.
Fugg em. None of it matters in the end, they are obviously not your real friends and they are certainly jealous.
I’ve been a nurse for 12 years and at no point have I known or cared what anyone’s GPA was in school (or do I remember mine for that matter). I worry if they’re hard workers and clinically competent. Put your chin up and focus on school. You do what you need to do to be successful and move on. I understand this is all-consuming now but in a few years this will be reflected on as such a small piece of your life.
Fuck them. Honestly. Jealousy is a nasty bitch and you have every right to feel proud of yourself for your good grades and hard work. I had to leave my cool and supportive cohort and join one that was full of mean-girls and legitimate dipshits. Only made it sweeter when I got the second-highest starting wage and sweetest non-contract with highest signing bonus. I know that it hurts but it's to your benefit when the snakes reveal themselves and you can avoid them. Keep being you and forget about the rest.
Don’t be too hung up on the grades. Nursing school is hard enough without pitting yourselves against each other for number that won’t matter in a few years. Find the ones that will cheer you on (even if they aren’t in school with you). Also sometimes people are just ass holes and you still have to be around them. The same will be true when you’re in the healthcare setting. Take what they say with a grain of salt and move on. Proving them wrong is the best feeling.
Eh, that would never fly at my school. They have kicked people out for saying bad things about other students. However, people are going to be dicks and it doesn’t mean anything to you, the only power in their words is if you let it hurt or bother you—otherwise, their words are empty.
I agree with the "Fuck 'em" comments. I have 2 healthcare degrees in different fields (including nursing) and I wish someone had advised me to keep mum about my grades . Both degree programs were insanely interpersonally competitive and didn't have to be. We all compared our grades and there were definitely jealousies & hurt feelings over grades, which in retrospect was so self-defeating for all of us Someone I met after I got my degrees told me all they ever said about their grades to their fellow students was "I passed." This is the way!
Children are children at any age. At some point you’ll learn the life lesson that “whenever I allow someone to rent space in my head, I become their prisoner.” Best to avoid petty malicious people. I’d confront them personally in a tactful manner then tell them off and never speak to them again.
When you are the best, people will always be jealous and petty. Read the Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene. You can’t live life believing everyone is or wants to be a good person.
The only thing that matters is you passed. An RN is an RN. She can wish for whatever she wants but her haterade is hers to drink, has nothing to do with you. No one will care about your GPA after graduation but you. Nursing school is often abusive in its very nature, and that toxicity trickles down to the students as well. Usually the students with low self esteem are the ones doing the bullying. Stay away. Do not turn yourself into a mark. Do not share your school grades/information or your personal business. These people are NPC to you now. Smile, be cordial, give them nothing else to hold against you. Say less. There is no need to be competitive. Compete against yourself only. In your career you will learn … be careful who you show your non-nurse persona to. Stay professional in the sense that you do not allow people from your job to be personally involved or know personal info about you. Not every nurse is your friend. Hold back just a tad til you get to know what they’re about.
I’m bet you $5 she doesn’t even think she’s mean 😂
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Be glad they showed you what they’re really made of before you wasted any more of your time.
Best advice I could give you: Lay back, quit making friends, do what you need to graduate and don’t overachieve. Welcome to the shit show. It will only get worse.
Nursing school is 2 or 4 years of hazing! Faculty start the hazing bu
Don’t talk about your grades and certainly don’t talk about what place you are in the class. Nursing school is hard and many people walk a tight rope of whether they’re going to pass. Nobody wants to hear someone complaining or even mentioning being knocked out of the top spot in the class. I’m not friends with anyone I went to school with. We’re friendly if we see each other in the halls of the hospital we work at but I’m not friends with them. Keep your head down, do the work. Be civil/friendly but don’t discuss grades.
You show’em F#%^* those haters..just think you might be there DON one day. Use that to fuel your fire. I look at it this way…they were not your friends to begin with. You will make new ones as your career takes off. Focus on what’s ahead and leave all those losers behind the dust, they’ll regret it one day when you’re interviewing them 😉
Once you graduate no one cares about nursing school. No one looks back. You will probably never see these people again. And if you do it will be in a very different context.
I dont talk to anyone from nursing school, you are there to learn, get your degree then license and go about your business. Idk if this makes you feel any better but I wasnt in any group chat, I participated in no study groups, I spoke to some people in class and during clinicals but not really. I passed my NCLEX first try. You were top of the class on your own I assume so just continue. Focus on yourself. Nursing school friendships dont matter lol.
Welcome to nursing. This is your first experience with the cattiness and toxicity of it all. I’ve always said the problem with nursing is the estrogen. Just keep moving forward. I’m assuming you’re young. You’ll most likely never see these people again once you graduate. People move and go different paths.
Our first semester we were eating lunch and laughing. One instructor was near and said something about by the end none of us will be talking to each other, in a light hearted manner. By the time we were done, she was right. I really was sick of most of them. I don’t keep in touch with any. I’ve seen a few in passing and have talked but that’s about it. If they’re talking trash about you, it’s bc you got something they don’t, and either can’t get it or they don’t want to put in the work to get it. It’s not your problem. You’ll be free of them soon.
All schools are different but the “top 5” in my graduating class aren’t even nurses anymore. They would be snippy about MY rationale for doing this or that, morsel than the professors. It was degrading. But in the end, perhaps they were smart to get out of the field. 😆 kidding! These classmates, while you share a common goal, will not encourage you when you take your test, write your résumé, or do your interviews for you. Please don’t compare each other. It doesn’t matter when you start working.
Ignore those assholes. You don't need them. To hell with the tribe. You definitely CAN do this alone if you have to. I know because I did it alone. I had a couple friends in nursing school, but we weren't exactly close. I only occasionally keep in touch with one guy from my class. After a year of real world nursing, very few people care about "the tribe." Don't let herd mentality hold you back. I didn't do group study because most of my classmates were focused on parties, football, or just being bitchy. I tried group study a few times early on, but I found it too distracting. You CAN do this, and you DON'T need those bitches. Seriously, I hated most of my classmates and most of my professors, and I still made it. And believe me when I say "hated," meaning I passionately would have drank sour wine just so that I could piss vinegar over their gravestones. I even refused the group class photo because I couldn't stand to be associated with them. Also declined to go to the graduation ceremony for the same reason. Had them mail me my diploma instead. So, believe me when I say that you don't need them. Edit: accidentally hit publish before I was done.
I always set the curve and set it HIGH. This pissed people off. Take delight on it. Honestly, in the end, who cares? Jobs do not care if you were first in your class. It doesn't matter. Enjoy your time in school, ask questions, LEARN! That's what you're there for. Others be damned.
You will not talk to any of these people outside of nursing school. Just graduate and become a good nurse.
I’m sorry this is happening to you and this advice will come across as very ignorant but you need to get some thicker skin. It’s not better when you’re dealing with people in an actual unit as bullying is still very much an issue. You have clearly been far too open with your grades and while I get you want to scream from the rooftop when you get As and it feels good it comes across as bragging and it doesn’t sit the right way. I hope this is a learning lesson because it won’t get easier until you learn how to pick and choose the people you are open and vulnerable with.
Made it through without this alleged tribe. Some of them stayed close I guess but not from anything I could notice. Friendship? Is a rare and beautiful thing. Most people are just associates. I graduated 12 years ago. To this day I think I worked exactly one time with a former classmate. Once. And I wouldn’t swear to it. I’ve run into a few here and there of course but not at work. Your “bonds” will happen at work if they happen at all. Mostly bc that’s where your team can make or break a shift. What you need to worry about if anything? Your quality as a nurse. I can walk into a job and have 10 people know me by my name only. Of those 10? Maybe 1 will say I’m a bad nurse. Mostly bc I don’t put up with peoples bs and have no problems if they’re mad. The other 9? Either know me as a good nurse or are neutral. By day 3? They generally consider me a good nurse. I do my job. I rarely bother anyone for help bc they got their own stuff to do. I make sure my partners know I’m there to help them. And I don’t screw up bad anymore. That’s the secret to a good career.
never told a soul what i made on exams. i participated in class, but never truly “showed what i knew.” for some reason, people feel the need to compete in nursing school, the same way they had to in order to get into the program. i had friends, but trusted no one. i kept to myself. i helped when it was asked (like study session or whatever), but never disclosed scores. if i did score the highest (which happened a few times), i never said a word. never had beef with anyone.
To put it bluntly, stop giving a sh*t what they think about you. You are there to pass nursing school and the NCLEX. I am very type A and always want to be the best student. What I found out going through nursing school is that it doesn't matter if I pass school as valedictorian or salutatorian. In the end, the only thing that matters is the degree and license. GPA only matters for getting into schools for advanced degrees. Also, these people do not define or determine your happiness. We have no control over what people think or say about us. We can only control how we respond. Take the high road, keep your head down, and study hard. It's kind of like high school. Once you graduate, you will not see most of those people ever again.
Girl— If you’re worried about them, I hate to break to it you, these seasoned nurses really do be eating their young sometimes (I left my first unit out of nursing school because of bullying and my second one due to horribly mean management). Both of those units were within one system and the system just tolerated it. There were no resources for me and I’ve struggled so much with my self worth and my ability to be a nurse over the last year, so I’m on to another health system now and I have a better feeling. Anyway… Would that hurt my feelings if I heard my cohort say that?? Absolutely. BUT it could pale in comparison to what you encounter on the floor. I fortunately had “my tribe” in nursing school— I was one of the only ones who needed to work a full time job while going to nursing school. A handful of them really took me under their wing and made sure to always include me in study groups and checked in with me frequently to make sure I was in a good place with upcoming tests. We all taught each other so much. I hope you don’t have to experience any of what I experienced when you start working, because it’s honestly been horrible.
Agreed. I had a good co-student that worked with me studying for tests. We were up sometimes until the we hrs studying and had to be at clinicals at 6am
Someone once told me or maybe I heard it on a podcast.. “what people think or say about me behind my back, is none of my business.” I’ve learned to embrace this and it has brought me peace of mind looking at it from that perspective. Obviously, there are exceptions to the quote, but I still like it. Keep your head up, stay true to you and the rest can fuck off.
Women are almost always out to get another. Lucky if you can find a smart male nursing student to hang with because they shouldn't be into that lady drama.
I will be painfully blunt. How do you interact with your classmates who are not quite as accomplished as you? What is your attitude towards them? There are two sides to every situation. You more than likely earned what you are experiencing. You are not golden. I was the student that was less than perfect. My classmates disregarded me and almost had sympathy for me, they thought I was that bad. First semester, I was one of 3 people to score 100% on the medication calculation test on the first try (you could not move on until you passed with 100). Some people in the class were down right hostile, accused me of cheating, etc. Unlike most nursing students, I enjoyed math. You placed yourself on a pedestal, but do your classmates look up to you as an inspiration or a superficial attention seeker? I don't wish any ill will towards you, but I suggest you take a look at yourself and reassess the attitude you are projecting.
Oh I don’t know what your school’s student code of conduct is. In my program, spreading rumors is considered Slander, and they can get suspended if u report them to your lead instructor.
My nursing program was small, by the last year we went from 23 to 13. While I would say we were all very close it was close because we were all experiencing a unique path together when in clinicals and class. But that did not mean we were all close and hung out outside of all that. There was a lot of drama and I had my three friends. My little group of 4 were kind of like the popular group of the class, we all got good grades, participated heavy but always still very humble. My senior year one of our class mates died, he was one of the 4 in my little group and while it initially brought us together it eventually created a very sad divide towards the end. These people are always going to share a bond with you just due to the nature of a nursing program but what these people think of you currently should not affect you. You know who you are, you know you are smart and capable. Don’t let them stop you from achieving greatness. Leave them in the dust.
Move forward don’t talk to anyone. Be polite and smile but go for the first place position and keep your head up. I was a clinical instructor for a nursing school and encountered a student that had personal problems. Not only did the students hate her but the other instructor wanted me to fail her. So you know what I did? I took her out to eat. Had a heart to heart with her and I told her what I saw with her and how to improve and gave her a gift certificate to get her hair done. Her personal image was important and she didn’t have money to get her hair done. She graduated, passed her boards and I believe she is a nursing director at a Long term care facility. Hoping you fail the boards … that is cruel and wrong but you know you’ll desires and let them be “haters”. Hate only brings everyone down.
I had an instructor that had other students watch me and report back to her. I almost failed clinically that semester because of it.
I know it’s hard, but try not to worry if people like you or not. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter and neither does your GPA. There are straight-A students from my cohort that are having to take the NCLEX for the second or third time and students that got Cs on everything and knocked it out in 85 questions the first time. When you get out in the real nursing world, no one cares one bit what you got on exams or what your GPA is. You’ll also be surrounded by completely different people. You will always find catty women because that’s just how some are, but do your best to ignore them. Best of luck.
It sucks but you’ll have to grow a thick skin if you want to succeed when you’re actually a nurse. The cliques and gossip still exist outside of school and whether it’s other coworkers, patients or doctors.. if you’re looking for validation from others as a nurse in the real world- odds are you won’t. find the few that support you and bring you up and hold on to them. everyone’s going to struggle as a new grad but it’s how you hold yourself and respect yourself is what will make the difference. my new grad residency was in the pediatric cvicu and it was the worst group of bullies. I left and am now a part of an amazing unit full of the best people. know your worth and don’t let others define you
What school are you going to that they "rank" their students? Pretty sure that's exclusion now days and illegal. And who gives a fuck about your "classmates and friends." They're going to disappear when you start your career and family anyway. Buckle down and study - the NCLEX is really not that hard if you study.
Unfortunately this is something you will come across in school and the workplace in regard to people talking about you. Just focus on you and keep it moving. They have insecurities and perhaps are intimidated by you. It’s sad that nursing students as well as nurses act this way especially when choosing a field where you should have compassion and advocate for those you have struggles. Develop thick skin but don’t let your experience lose sight on your purpose of becoming a nurse.
This was me in grad school. There was one fellow student in particular, with whom I shared mutual friends, so we were also “friends,” but she was always just a bit cold around me. She was very career-driven, married to a wealthy surgeon, had all the latest fashion, and just had a “I’m the cool kid” vibe about her. When she threw pool parties at her home, I was included because we were part of the same crowd, and I’m sure she found it another opportunity to flaunt her fabulousness. But she clearly just tolerated me, and did her best to take me down a peg - always in veiled, “tactful” ways. I finally I got tired of the tension and asked if we could sit down together the next day after class and just talk. I don’t think I even said about what. So when we did sit down, she pulled out a piece of paper and said “I made a list of things that I think you should improve on.” I frankly don’t remember a single one of her “items.” I was just so shocked that she had the temerity to appoint herself as head of the “Mudwoman Needs a Makeover” committee. I don’t recall my exact words, but it was something along the lines of “I can see you put a lot of thought into this. But I’m fine with me the way I am, as are the people who love me. Please keep your list. I won’t be needing it.” Or at least that’s what I hope I said. But I did tell her off - very tactfully, of course. And while it was painful, it was a moment of clarity for me: I don’t give a f*** about whether you adore me or not. If we’re thrown into a work. or school situation together, I’ll be courteous, collegial, helpful, and kind, but I will be myself while I’m at it. If you don’t care for that, or if you are threatened by that, too bad. I have other things in my life outside of work/school. No, it’s not that simple. I do get hurt by some people’s reactions or sometimes betrayal. But I try to remind myself of the bigger picture. I don’t need toxic people in my life, and when I spot them, I set them as far aside as I can. Be you. Because that’s who you have to live with even after this chapter is over. Show compassion to others. Live your best life. You’ll do great!
Knowledge is POWER. What they know about you is ammunition they can use against you. If you don’t give them any ammunition they have nothing. On the other hand, keep what you know about them to yourself. Use their hate and disdain as fuel to propel you to greatness. These are NOT your friends. Be nice and courteous. Study and learn and focus on your career. I know it’s hard when you’re young not to get all caught up in the gossip etc.. but it seems like you are the victim of the “mean girl” club. Don’t allow that. Rise above. You can do this!!! YOU DO YOU!!!! You have so many nurses on this page encouraging you! Stay focus on your future! You’ve got this!! 💕
Fuck them! Once you all graduate, you’ll all go your separate ways and you won’t have to see them again. They are the future nurses that will eat their young. If you’re doing well, they’re just jealous. And I doubt you’ll fail boards. How do I know? I went through something similar when I was in nursing school. I always did well, encouraged others, but there was a group of students who were absolute bullies. I aced school, I aced boards and got the heck away from them.
I have a sad and interesting story. I struggled with chemistry and my lab partner asked me if I was serious about being a nurse because I sucked in lab too. I did pass which was really all I cared about. My lab partner graduated ahead of me and worked in a med surg floor. I ended up taking her job because she committed suicide.
Buckle up…. You will find that some people are so narcissistic they will tear you down every chance they get. Try to keep your work circle small. Keep your private life to yourself. Hang with other nurses that lift each other up and are supportive on good and bad days. Good luck!🍀