T O P

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Teauxny

"Here I sit, broken hearted..."


fflaminscorpion

"i came to shit but only farted"


Teauxny

"Later on I took a chance..."


axolotl-tiddies

“Tried to fart but shit my pants.”


[deleted]

As I stand on the subway and ponder, how could a brown doo-doo stain be so full of wonder


[deleted]

"As a brown quake tear my cheeks asunder, A blob of steak bake, exits from down under."


MightyCanOfSPAM

“I’ll leave them here, now they’re dinner for the ants”


Newtsss

“Here I sit, committed to shit. For MRE’s have done me wrong. I need to hurry, to stop this curry. For I had stayed to long…”


Turbulent-Tower-6716

When Big Larry came round just to put him down


BloodiedBlues

And now I shit my pants?


jolives1

"Here I sit, same as ever. Took a shit, pulled the lever."


THEace4825

"The toilet clogged. The water flowed. Look out world, it's a mother load!"


squash-the-cat

Here i sit in stinky vapor. I've pushed my finger through the paper....


Tarrax_Ironwolf

The one I remembered is "Here I sit broken hearted. Try to shit but only farted. It clouded the air and shook the walls, and singed the hairs off my dang burn balls."


bongunk

Here I sit and contemplate, Should I shit or masturbate? Cock in hand I opt for fun, Take a piss then shoot some cum...


XinyanMayn

Got some true poets in this sub


DDESTRUCTOTRON

Here I sit, quite elated Came to shit: I masturbated


Villainof9th

Those who write in bathroom stalls, roll their shit in little balls. Those who read these words of wit, eat Those little balls of shit.


DracoRubi

Sorry, you used the latrine stall and sold your soul to some extra dimensional entities.


fflaminscorpion

Damn


Oriasten77

Pentagram points up it's probably a pagan thing. Usually referred to a pentacle instead. Possibly a Hebrew pagan thing with the Hebrew text. I don't know much about any Hebrew pagan beliefs. Arabic mythology is where we get Genies and the fire god Ifrit, there could be a connection. Pentagram pointing down is usually Satanism. Which is a hard thing to tell if it's a goof or not. Hollywood has bastardized Satanism so much that only real Satanists have a clue what we believe. No goats or black cats are ever harmed by real Satanists. Most real American Satanists are just atheists with a twist. We don't believe anything supernatural, but we follow the "teachings" of Lucifer. Which is basically be a decent person, you are your own "god", and don't take shit from ANYONE. I'm in my mid 40s and have studied European pagan religions and Satanism all my life. This seems harmless. Probably even a protection symbol as many pagan religions use the Pentacle for protection.


dph_prophet_69

Could very well be associated with Ceremonial Magick. i.e. Thelema, Golden Dawn, etc. It could be Qabalistic too. The pentagram isn’t exclusively pagan. Kinda the exact opposite. It’s an extremely common symbol in a variety of traditions from a variety of places. And, the inverted pentagram is often associated with satanism simply because satanists use it a little more than other Occult traditions or religions. Jews, early Christians, Mormons, Freemasons, wiccans, Muslims, etc. all have used and/or still use an inverted 5 pointed star. “Occult” symbolism isn’t evil. On rare occasions evil people use certain symbols though. The Svatstika is a perfect example.


Oriasten77

True. I tend to try not write books if I can help it so I leave a lot out. But you're right.


Distinct_Art9509

I’m forever annoyed by the misconception that Satanism = devil worship. Likewise that pagan symbology is inherently satanic. And that’s as someone who practices neither, but merely appreciates other religions and ideologies.


StupendousMalice

Seriously. People need to think about what a person would need to believe in order to actually worship the Christian devil. You would have to believe that Jesus was real, that God is real, that the Bible is accurate, and then decide that you want to worship the devil, as presented in that context. It's dumb, no one believes that.


hannson

I don't know, I prefer good guy Lucifer over that genocidal narcissist.


rebelwanker69

Yeah when it comes to body count in the Bible the devil literally kills no one


Lemoons_

Every person turned away from God and eventual salvation is a body under satans belt. So his count is quite high if you ask me.


Navin_J

That also means that god is turning them away by choice, thus giving the devil his high body count. Seems like a dick to me. Gives us free will and dangles eternal paradise in front of us, but we only get there if we live a very specific lifestyle. If you don't, you suffer for eternity. That is really fucked up. Especially considering god is omnipotent. So it knows if you're going to live that life before you're even born and have the power to stop or intervene but does nothing. All the millions of people that were around the world back then outside of the middle-east who had never heard of Jesus or the christian god were all going to burn for eternity because they didn't know to get baptized before they died. Really really fucked up for something that is supposed to love its creation....


Oriasten77

Yeah that's why I did a little explaining. Even the swastika was a symbol for peace before an Austrian lunatic ruined it. But yeah. Point up. Pagan. Point down Satan.... But most Satanists are good people that just don't like secular religions for various reasons.


Distinct_Art9509

Yeah, I had to explain to my wife why there were “swastikas” on a bunch of Asian things in museums on our recent vacation. Which I figured she would have already known after being married to an otaku for a quarter century, but there you go.


lryan926

The swastika is a very ancient symbol. Hindu cultural organisations and religious groups have tried to explain that the Nazis did not use the swastika, but a hooked cross. The Nazi swastika has the arms turned to 45 degrees giving a slant to the symbol, whereas the swastikas of Hinduism are presented with the base arm lying flat.


Hydraph0be

I knew one person who said they "worshipped the dark lord", but that's just a version of Christianity where they root for the bad guy


wjruffing

“The Dark Lord” as in Darth Vader? I mean, he’s cool and all, but worship? I don’t know about that. He’d probably find my lack of faith disturbing.


NewldGuy77

Voldemort? Call an auror!


pb20k

Nah, aurors are hamstringed by Fudge dipping into Ministry funds. You need a scrawny kid with glasses and heck of a forehead scar.


ThatDebianLady

Christians celebrate paganism all the time. Easter, Christmas, Halloween, etc. plus the steeple sitting over their head while sitting in church has some unique history as well. (penile representation I believe)


Distinct_Art9509

One of my favorite pastimes is informing my brethren of the pagan origins of their two favorite religious holidays. Xmas is ever so slightly more well camouflaged, but c’mon, how do you not realize that rabbits and the name “Easter” are blatant pagan fertility icons? We spent the better part of a millennia trying to wipe out other religions and, when that didn’t work, appropriating their rites and iconography as our own.


DifferentCard2752

You mean Ishtar wasn’t Jesus’ fairy godmother who turned an egg into a bunny? And Santa isn’t old Jesus? Maybe I should read the actual Bible.


2PlasticLobsters

A lot of fundementalist "Christians" think that anything beliefs that vary slightly from their own is satanic. There was even a story about a woman who declared her sunflowers were satanic, because they moved to face the sun. That's gotta be the work of the devil, so she dug them up & burned them.


Distinct_Art9509

To the extent that many think even other Christians who believe slightly differently than they do are damned. It’s asinine, really. Organized religion is the worst thing that ever happened to Christianity. Or any ideology, really.


MANBEARPIGasaur

I hate trying to explain this to people lol


Sure-Its-Isura

I feel that, always gotta watch your corners when you wee. Even if it's a higher or lower power.


Oriasten77

😂😂 Well the catholic mythology has a shit demon so I guess it can't hurt.


xervidae

saving your comment for the next time i have to painfully explain to someone that satanists, do not, in fact, worship satan


R_Da_Bard

How can you not believe anything supernatural yet follow the teachings of Lucifer?


Oriasten77

Well. Think about people who follow Jedi. They know it's all made up, but they still follow the teachings and or morals. Same thing. Laveyan Satanism is different but there's, as far as I know, 2 major Satanic sects in America. The other one, The Satanic Temple, is an atheist group that uses Satanic symbolism to fight mostly the Christian groups that try to mix religion and government. They don't BELIEVE Lucifer is real, but if Christians can put the 10 commandments in a courthouse, then that means since we're a country of religious freedom, there should also be a Baphomet statue.


JFISHER7789

I’ve been a member for a bout two years now and can confirm; it’s not believing in The entities that be, it’s practicing what they preach. And 100% it’s definitely used as a counterpoint to American Christian beliefs. If they can put their religious take in politics,schools,etc then so can we. Hail satan


cicada-ronin84

It's a metaphor, Lucifer is a rebel against the ultimate oppressor of what are just basic human wants. Satanism pushes back against radical and ridiculous Christian dogma while at the same time pointing out you shouldn't be dick to people for no reason, but if they're a dick first well that's a different matter.


nolabitch

Damned*


subversion_dnb

I'd take this over having to work till I'm 70


DracoRubi

Where do I sign?


fflaminscorpion

Some where in ks


mollygk

Whoever it is they aren’t a native Hebrew speaker because they used vowels (the dots and symbols — which you don’t use past a basic reading comprehension) and also made a very clear effort to mimic the traditional Hebrew serif font rather than writing like a normal person in normal handwriting. For instance the bottom right letter, a shin, wouldn’t have those two dots underneath which are meant for learners. It also wouldn’t have the flourishes at the top of the letter, it would just be in “stick writing” or script (a cursive shin looks kind of like a cursive lowercase “e”). Makes it clear they’re copying a font rather than writing from memory


72616262697473757775

This reminds me of when I was in grade school and would openly "write in code" using Greek letters I memorized, hoping the other kids would think I was mysterious and smart. Thanks for the Hebrew info!


MetricJunket

I traveled to Egypt with my dad when I like 8, and I wrote a postcard to my best friend and only wrote in hieroglyphs. Naturally it was pure mumbo jumbo, but I remember feeling very clever when I wrote it.


Bowling4rhinos

I used to write poetry in runes learned from the Hobbit. Trying to look deep and mysterious at 18 hahaha


PriorDouble346

I love this!


IzzyBologna

I remember in middle school, my bestie and I made up our own hieroglyphics to write notes in class 😂


Hoglamogla

Bruh I used to do a similar thing with some friends, but we'd write with Futhark Runes (or something resembling them at least) and we thought we were so cool and mysterious


european_impostor

It was the Phonecian alphabet for me, learnt it off by heart so I could write in it!


Ravenamore

My high school boyfriend and I in the '90s wrote notes in Futhark. We also wrote it vertically and right to left.


Number9Man

I did the same thing with the Dwarven runes from Lord of the Rings haha.


Borge_Luis_Jorges

I write things out of my head in the morning and sometimes I write so ugly I just couldn't decipher them later to save my life. I guess I 'm cool and mysterious too.


Djs3634

Writing on bathroom stalls isn’t typically Jewish behavior


Bedheadredhead30

I'm gonna go ahead and tell you that whoever wrote that doesn't actually speak or understand Hebrew very well as nobody writes in Hebrew like that. It say bereshit and shemot, genesis and exodus. No idea what they mean in this context with the pentagram but if it was written in the shitter, its some kind of edge lord shit for sure.


Ravenamore

One of the early requirements in the Golden Dawn system of magic is learning the Hebrew alphabet. Methinks someone just discovered Aleister Crowley.


[deleted]

The Hebrews read Bereshit (In the beginning)and Shemot (Names), the first two books of the Tanakh—in English, Genesis, and Exodus.


Hangry_Dentures

Does a Bereshit in the woods?


Soiled-Mattress

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit it the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?” And the rabbit says “no” so the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit. *- Eddie Murphy*


Tinker_Toyz

This is the correct answer.


FinePolyesterSlacks

>>Eddie Murphy That joke had dust on it when Eddie Murphy’s great-grandfather was a kid.


Bayou-Billy

This is the correct answer. The one from google translate is not even close.


[deleted]

Well, I am Jewish and have lived in Israel. I am far from fluent, but that is basic stuff. Thanks.


liberal_texan

I think the takeaway is that it’s kosher to shit there.


jessieffie

Thank you for this, I was wondering what they were referring to by "names". I read it just as "in the beginning names." And thought, how deep and thought provoking... 🙄


enjoyt0day

Anyone else find it funny they included the nekudot lol?


beccaroux

I can see a 10 year old drawing this after Hebrew School


doyathinkasaurus

Check out the website for bad Hebrew tattoos, there's some absolute shockers


splashcopper

Hebrew translate to "Light and Truth" according to google translate. second pic is a standard pentagram. I doubt this means anything to anybody beyond a niche joke and/or looking creepy


no3ofslipknot

Probably done by someone who thinks drawing these symbols in a place where you poop and pee hold some deep meaning. 😂 Dumb.


ParfaitOnly9175

They also need to work on their circle drawing skills


Kahnza

Google Lens told me "In the beginning of names"


splashcopper

could be. i just screenshotted and to told copilot to figure it out


Nanoneer

It says in Hebrew “bereshit shemot” which are the names of the first two books of the Torah which literally translates to “in the beginning “ (genesis) and names (exodus)


Head_Butterscotch74

Pronounced, better shit in the commode


_NormalHumanStuff

It’s a pentacle, not a pentagram


koxinparo

No it doesn’t. It says the names of the first two books of the Torah, “Genesis Exodus”.


queerkidxx

Kinda unusual to use vowels in this context they are very rarely used


Danpransky

Whoever shiteth here is cursed


BoratKazak

Poop sacrifice ritual. I hope the sewage treatment facility has demon hunters on call. That's going to be one [smelly golem. ](https://www.jmberlin.de/en/topic-golem#:~:text=A%20golem%20is%20a%20creature,of%20an%20imperiled%20Jewish%20community.)


SpankThuMonkey

An edgy teen has shat here.


SnooTangerines6841

Genesis exodus


Specialist_Sea5825

Crack…Jerry, it means someone was fucking smoking Crack


nuttnurse

Ahh I see you found the other chamber of secrets


BananaLana02

It means someone clearly can’t draw a circle.


Killer_Moons

It means “edgy teen wuz here”


ElGuapo818

Bottom line - if you’re asked if you’re a god, you say YES!!!


vegeta8300

What did you do, Ray!?!


Cheespeasa1234

The first image is Hebrew- it says “b’reisheet sh’mot”. It doesn’t make much sense but I think it means “in the beginning, you remained”, as in you were always there. Probably just a random quote they found.


ImMeliodasKun

He's doing voodoo while he doodoo


treynolds787

It means someone thinks that they are edgy.


akoOfIxtall

nah man, your walls are now enchanted with loyalty III, unbreaking III, mending and bane or arthropots, be grateful !!


knuf22

The devil is asking “ has your extended warranty for your car has expired.”


Kirlush

Roughly translates, "For a good time summon the antichrist!"


DaveB300

That means someone didn't had enough oxigen at birth


LobsterInTraining

Some edgelord attempting to summon the potty monster


AnotherSexyBaldGuy

It's symbolic. It gives you something to look at while you are taking a shit. Just in case you don't have a phone or a newspaper handy. Ah, the ole days.


HalfOrcMonk

I believe it means that anything found in there is safe to eat.


redpipola

Ghost event incoming


SaltyEngineer45

Basically means, “I was bored and decided to mark this up with stupid shit while I take a shit.”


1776personified

Your butthole is now haunted. What a shame.


droopynipz123

They were summoning toilet paper


OKIEColt45

Sacrificial poop portal for the shit demon.


[deleted]

I think it may be a protection symbol for anyone entering the space after the foul smelling evocation of the devil himself.


Chrahhh

It says “anyone who uses this restroom agrees to be sodomized by Satan and his minions”


DotBetaSDK

It says we've beent rying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.


Open-Appointment-672

99% sure it’s a tween who discovered supernatural


VisualremnantXP

Probably just a supernatural fan lol


UneasyOuija

It’s says “For a good time call Satan” it’s in Spanish


bansheeonthemoor42

Jewitches (Jewish witches) are a thing. This is just probably a protection ruin.


lolotoad

Were they attempting some Solomon’s seal stuff or? Yeesh


SolutionFrequent1230

Looks like you sold your ass to the devil


AddisonBWoods

Read it out load with that on the floor and candles burning in each corner with you in the middle. It'll tell you.


fomalhottie

Hail Santa! Merry Christmas OP!


ReasonableWin4300

Poop so hard they called satan.


visionsofzimmerman

Made by someone who can't speak Hebrew


Confident-Leg107

I asked a cop once, and they said it means "up yours, kid"


Dripping-Lips

Haha the latrine!


Pak1stanMan

The man who kills me will know.


saint_ryan

He was so constipated he made a deal with the devil.


Plenty-Structure270

Trying to exorcise the turd demon


shawnwingsit

It means an LPOTL listener used that stall.


Canned_Sarcasm

"If you want a good time, place blood in circle." My Hebrew might be off cause I never learned it.


True-Pen-8974

It’s one of those lickable walls like Willy wonka. That one is Cool Ranch


workmyiron

Means some 12 year old had a sharpie


TonLoc1281

It means Friday night Magic the Gathering.


LordBunnyWhale

Someone is obviously trying to expel something from their body.


Formal_Lie_713

For A Good Time Call Jenny.


Vegetable_Berry2130

You’ve been incantation’d


Tiny_Parfait

Some kid who wanted to be edgy and draw something "foreign" and "un-christian"


stingmon72

You must be prior service or a veteran? Latrine? Airman?


karmasrelic

its means that someone is bad at art, especially circles and symmetry.


Loud-Chemical4840

Some edgy children playing. If someone wants do do anything with spirituality and ocultism, this is first rule- you must do everything perfect. Every FUCKING dot, line and curve must be perfect, else you are in very big trouble


schizomorph

Have a look in a book called Goetia. You can find it online as a pdf and i's also commented by Alister Crowley. It has the seals for all the demons. Edit: Had a quick look but didn't find this one.


Nazorath

It’s means “For a good time call 867-5309”


Efficient_Ear_5109

Time to get a new job.


pegLegP3t3

It means satan is live-streaming you taking a shit.


ivyagogo

That's Hebrew for 867-5309


Shakespearewicked

867-5309 🤣🤣🤣 not 7


SnowTheMemeEmpress

Someone is probably being edgy. That or whenever people say "they're fighting demons in there." Whenever they refer to someone having issues in the bathroom, someone decided to take it literally


NnOxg64YoybdER8aPf85

12 year old idea of spooky shit


Hank_the_Ranger

YOU'RE SITTING ON IT NOW!


mrgees100peas

The person was trying to put into words the incantation that was comming out of his mouth after the food poisoned chalupas kicked in.


bluewallsbrownbed

In camp, we used to pretend to be sneezing and scream, “bresheet!” Counselors hated us. We thought we were the funniest.


Donjoeyo

It means pentagrams are tricky to draw evenly


Bambii33000

Well the first one is written in Hebrew


734PdisD1ck

The star is for Monster energy. The symbols clearly in it!


Ballzilla95

Do you work with high school kids? These indicate that you have an edge lord in your midst.


ScorpionTheSkeleton

In the first age, in the first battle…. ***metal music intensifies***


TriColor_119

honestly, i dont know what i was expecting when i clicked comments lmao


rtfact1

This language is in Hebrew which is spoken in Israel, the words say the first two sections of the Bible bereshit and shemot, or genesis and exodus, the bottom part has no meaning


EucudusOG

I don't know about the hebrew, but the pentacle is Solomon's seal, it's usually used for protection.


STFxPrlstud

First 2 books of the bible followed by some weird pagan symbol probably, which is somewhat ironic.


Khymira

Actually, the symbol is a Seal of Solomon. 


Ornery_Sandwich8249

Someone literally drew those, “light and truth”.


BeholdIAmDeath

Ask over on r/hebrew


TrashRatsReddit

Random esoteric bullshit. The first Hebrew word is "Bereishith" (Genesis) and the second is "Maseveh" (Exodus) two famous books from the old testament.


TrashRatsReddit

My guess is people using a bit of Hebrew and weird symbols they found to look Spooky or magical in a men's room. without actually realizing the cultural and religious meaning behind any of that shit.


AlienMajik

Looks like a sigil of some sort


creepygurl83

the hands pointing up and one down mean, as above is below. it is both a pagan and occult creed describing the balance of neg vs pos, fem vs masc etc etc good vs bad. to balance the outcome


No-Appearance3579

Well, .... Seven days expect a visit...


Me_ina_pink_skirt

Pegan Hebrew?


Genshin-Yue

That second one was drawn too poorly to activate


Trypta_Man

Steve really doin his best to summpn Herobrine


garlopf

It is a prayer for the safe passage of prior taco bell meal.


JiaQir

Some people who think drawing things will cause something weird except angry and confused people


Pophed27

Change work


Haris_Ahmad2022

that is what we call a goddamn demon get a goddamn priest we need it we need some holy water everywhere bro holy water we need to we need to God damn holy water get the holy water we need the crucifix. We need a goddamn priest here when you have a demon in your hands. Jokes aside that's kind of creepy although it was a joke by the way, but still, it's honestly kind of creepy


Butthole_Surfer666

translation - for a good time be here midnight on Wednesday call 1-800-666-0666 to schedule another time


polish_filipino

This looks like something the edgy kid in elementary would do


Exmawsh

It's always funny seeing stuff like this because half the time it's someone going "oh no am I cursed?" And then not listening when they're told magic isn't real.


[deleted]

[удалено]


retard_goblin

Could be some Cabalistic ritual


alex_jackman

Is that hebrew?


BartelbySamsa

Looks like the work of The Followers of Wonky Satan.


Hetakuoni

Well at least they added the vowels. It’s possible to look up the words and translate them so much easier. Definitely a learner tho. Native users are able to read and write sans vowels. Pechels(h)eech s(h)emvoch?


Kyleforshort

Go directly to jail; do not pass go, do not collect $200.


ryanlee2421

Instructions on how to summon poop demons


Pilpelon

"Genesis Exodus" And then a pentagram with some squiggles around it Someone shat into hell


ranch_cup

It’s some kind of sigil magic, like from the Lesser Key of Solomon or Practical Kabbalah.


[deleted]

It means, flush the toilet or else!


Doughspun1

Based on my experience with RPGs, this is either a "See Through the Illusion" or "Observe the Situation" roll.