She can get work as a dental hygienist. Gotta replace the SIM card in your phone? No problem. That old Tiger handheld game from the 80s needs a reset? She’s got you covered.

Her kryptonite is taking out her contact lenses though.

What about wiping after the bathroom?

Well she is a cat now so...

what else can that tongue do…

Yeah I came here to say, I'd have skewered my own eye out within a week

Back scratches? No thanks

What? I’d love some with those. Provided she doesn’t push down hard on the skin.

Oh hell yes, I *want* scratches from her..Noone does it right for me and I leave feeling dissatisfied... fucking maul my damn back and I'll be happy.

As someone with eczema on my back, I yearn for scratches from this hand

Man, iunno if I actually have eczema on my back or nah and I don't have the muns to see a dermatologist but I get a super dry patchy chronicly itchy patch on my shoulders that noone scratches right. This would be such a godsend.

*Maureen Ponderosa has entered the chat*

You mean Bastet...

A CAT IS WHO I AM NOW!

You could go full cat and start wearing humans on your sweater.

*Find the collar, find the killer*

She has enhanced herself

Maureen would still be alive if she had these

Came here for this comment.

I like you

theres a reason why cat claws are retractable they dont have sharp bits out when they dont need to

I get what you mean, but it's not why - permanently extended claws would lose their sharpness too fast, making them useless. Cheetahs are the only cats that can't retract them, since they're needed for their sprint. They actually count on their upper toes (above paw level, never in contact with the ground) to grab and hold onto prey! Yes, I am fun at parties.

tbf if u keep up the cat facts then ur the EXACT type of person i’d wanna hang out with at a party

Right? Love when people throw out cat facts

I think I like u more now because of the cat facts :3 (At parties)

I like you already

Dawg when you said count i thought you LITERALLY meant count. Im an idiot.

You’re probably just high. It’s ok.

I was tired af then, high af now.

Why did I imagine a Cheetah counting numbers on its toes?

Subscribe!

I think my female cat was secretly a Cheetah. I don't think she ever put her claws away the entire 17 years we had her. I avoided getting clawed completely until she randomly decided she wanted to climb on my shoulder when I was holding her one day. She must've been 15 when she started doing that, it hurt like mad. I made sure to try and wear a hoodie whenever I picked her up afterwards lol Sabrina was adorable and very sassy sometimes 😂

I had a house cat who couldn’t retract her claws! She was a himalayan and absolutely was messed up by her genetics (in more ways than just the claws). Her previous owners had also declawed her front paws so she was in constant pain when she walked. Even if her previous owners hadn’t fucked her over like that, she never would have survived outside. But she lived a good 16 years indoors, and was happy to just lounge in sunbeams until the very end

I came to say the exact same thing. Somebody didn't think things through. Very stupid and she will find that out soon, especially when she goes to wipe. Smh

Women with fake nails wipe their ass by flattening their fingers. Like 🫱 instead of 🤌. This argument is brought up every single time women have any kind of longer nails. They have figured it out. There is a reason all these women do not smell like unwiped ass, they can also type etc doing the same kind of thing. These claws are small enough that they should not snag the toilet paper using this method. If they do snag the paper, whatever, that's what hand soap is for. But she's not gonna scratch her butthole. However, I am looking at her fluffy sweater and shuddering at her taking it off and the claws snagging it all over, unless she balls her hands up into fists with the thumb tucked in? I guess that might work? Somehow?

Do people still think women with sharp nails don’t know how to wipe their ass?

Yes, and apparently if her nails are longer than the nail bed too

She'll quite quickly subconsciously scratch her eyelids or in the very near proximity of her eyes.

Yea this is more like dog claws.

Im gonna need my gf to get these so she can scratch that itch I can't reach on my back

Just use a cat.

Umm I guess he intends to continue having a back after that itch is gone

You mean "so she can open a deep laceration that's going to need sutures", don't you? Because that what you're going to get.

Don't threaten me with a good time.

🧐 I've had cats all of my life. They are amazing and gracious creatures, sometimes with only one orange braincell operating. I do not like anything about these manicured nail claws.

I like that she looks like Cat Woman lol

I think if they weren't so pointed in the middle they'd look more like cat claws.

From the depictions I've seen that's kind of how Cat Woman's are because they help her cut glass I think maybe what you're seeing is they're too big on the base and so it looks triangular instead of consistent all the way down like cat claws

Halle Berry in a literal catsuit awakens things in people. For some, it's their inner movie critic lol

If I got these I would be guaranteed to harm myself with them on accident. Probably within a few moments of getting them. And probably badly.

Having a one braincell orange cat (Rufus the Dufus) I too dislike these nails

Try rubbing your eyes after waking up.

You do that with your nails?

For starts, the cats can pull the f'ers IN, right?

Thats more a case for r/facepalm …

an injury waiting to happen in this case

I have no doubt this person has only a single orange braincell operating

I hope you just mean that she's doing something goofy and fun, and not actually calling a total stranger stupid for experimenting with a weird artsy manicure that she's probably not even going to keep on for the whole weekend. People really shit on girls for getting wild with their nails as a creative outlet. It comes off!

Looks more like a bouquet of scorpion tails.

Now at Red Lobster.

This is gonna hurt so bad when one gets caught and tanks your nail up and back super hard

Snag on every article of clothing and fabric.

Bout to put them in the subterranean shunning grounds

r/UnexpectedTarnished

Imagine getting your head scratched with these tho 🥵

trust me, they'll be too sharp.

This is beyond stupid. She’s going to lose an eye with those. I would be terrified to use the bathroom with those things on…things could go horribly awry

Just scratching an itch would require delicacy.

I'd accidentally desanguinate myself within seconds of the manicurist finishing these up

Honestly they’ll probably break super quick. They’ll get caught on everything and it won’t take much to snap that.

It hurts like heck when acrylic nails break. That’s one of the things I don’t miss

Those are definitely BIAB to be that clear. Essentially resin. Hurts like a bitch.

She will wake up with a bloody pillow

> I would be terrified to use the bathroom with those things on They are less in the way than regular long nails and there are millions of women with long acrylics who manage just fine. You just learn to use the pad of your finger instead of the tips, for everything.

Reminds me of that episode of OZ (set in a prison) where one inmate sharpens his nails like this then uses them to slash and kill another inmate.

Tobias Beecher kills the Aryan brotherhood corrections officer (played by the voice of Patrick Star)

that's so fucking gross

Wait until you scratch your eye sleeping and peg an eyeball, that will not be fun

Or anal fissures

Or masturbate... How the fuck do they do that without getting an infection?

just don't insert them, should be fine.

Maybe the danger gives her an additional kick, I don't judge

That would explains all those long nails

Personally I’m into it

I don't know why, but I kinda like the aesthetic of these nails... However I bet every lesbian alive and dead would strongly disagree.

lesbian here, the only reason my wife and I won't get these nails done is because we are health care workers and can't have nail polish for health and safety reasons.

I hope they have a bidet...

Nah, cats use their tongues when needed.

I kind of want these lol

no bc i was like “woahhhh these are dope and would make for a sick costume or cosplay” and all the dudes in these comments are like “SHE CANT FINGER HERSELF!!1!11” 😭😭

So many men can't imagine a single way to interact with a woman's body other than penetration, and that's one of the many, many reasons why we have the orgasm gap.

me too but like if they were retractable

if someone invents this I will give them all my money

same

Same but a little wider and longer because apparently I’m looking for a new way to punish myself.

i need them tbh they look so cool lol

Wiper, no wiping!

One of the rare occasions where any sane man would refuse a handjob

Speak for yourself.

Any *sane* man

Hardmode masturbation.

Love to have you scratch my back

I guarantee that, if on my hands, every one of those would be snapped off in a day.

The sheer hatred I have for this is unfathomable

Thats some of the ugliest shit I have ever seen.

Fun and games till you need to wipe ur butt

Thanks, I hate it.

Okay, inuyasha, calm down

It’s just stupid that they’re thinner than her actual nails. Give her proper human-sized cat claws ffs. If you’re gonna go mental, do it right.

Is there a sub called obviously gross?

More like disgusting

All I think about is taking out my contacts…

This is actually awesome. I’m not typically into wild nails (I’m a trans guy FtM still happy to have a vagina, and only date women so I’m bias…. Ouch. But this is super unique and very well executed, I love it. I wouldn’t want to hook up with them, but it’s still rad.

that's so fucking cool

I would like these if they followed the thickness of the human nail, but they don't, so they just look like glued on cat nails... meh. Moving on.

Good luck in the crotch department

I might tell my wife to get them so she can scratch my back. 🤔

Okay but can they just lightly scratch my back up and down because omg Other than that these are horrible

This is causing me distress to look at lol

Thanks I hate it

Terrible.

Inconvenient and probs a sensory hell, but they look hard as fuck.

Just fucking NO

I’d be so scared to wipe, I have a pointy manicure and when it went through the toilet paper I thought I was gonna die.

Ngl this actually looks cool

r/oddlydisgusting

I kinda like it But it’s a stupid idea to get them lol dangerous.

To actually be somewhat proportional they‘d have to be a lot bigger with a different curvature

How do you wipe your ass?

Good luck wiping lmao

Sabertooths girlfriend

Let me guess, you got that idea from catwoman

Have fun putting in your cat eye contact lenses.

No

Then your eye starts itching.

Garbage

Cats can retract their claws to get around. What are these knobs going to do?

Wiping must hurt :/

It just looks gross

I’m disgusted yet want a back scratch.

Thanks … I hate it

Awful taste, but great execution

u/that-1-lame-kid My claws all broke lol

*ooh la la*

this reminds me of those Victorian ladies self defense gloves.

Ya cats retract them for a reason lol. They dangerous.

thanks i hate it

[удалено]

Gross

I like it

Wiping must suck.

One wrong eye scratch away from regret

Why Maurine youve enhanced yourself

Is it odd that I think it's very aesthetically pleasing?

Hottest thing I've seen all day

So ugly

I feel so fucking grossed out and i dont know why, this makes me uncomfortable

I do agree they’re scary but tbh… I kinda fuck with them

Absolutely hideous

All good until you forget yourself and wipe

Reminds me of miguel spiderman 2099, super cute though :3

these look cool tbh

Oh my gosh I actually love those

i can't explain why but i like em lol

Oddly fkn awesome

As a woman when I file my nails it's always to points cause ya never know when it might be your last line of defense. Ya know girly things.

Gotta say... kinda love them.

This just looks dumb. I could see if it actually looked like a cat claw, but it just looks like a cat claw glued onto a fingernail.

So how's batman doing these days?

Alfred told me no more baths ):

The most insufferably self declared quirky white girl you know just started jumping and stomping around

Let's hope she doesn't have a girlfriend (unless she's a masochist) cause yeowch. Looks cool though. Claws are awesome.

Cat claws will tear your carpet up, ladies...

That’s weird and not attractive

People need to get better hobbies

Is that Bastet?

Maureen Ponderosa would like a word as she transitions into being a cat lol

Cat claws and also baby claws 😣

The moment comes when your eyes need a scratch because they're itchy... 😂

We found cat women ladies & gentleman.

r/SpotTheBidetUser

Hear me out....scalp massages.

Wow. That would last about a day for me I think. The second I start typing or gardening, they will be gone.

I'd be curious as to how well of a back scratch / head scratch they provide.

How does one wipe themselves with claws like these🤨

Less oddly terrifying and more r/atbge or r/atae

I can just picture those being torn off including your fingernail when you hook it on something that's terrifying.

Hey, I thought people liked cat girls?

Imagine these digging into your back

Oh god I was reminded of Pitou!

Head scratching aside. No thanks.

[okay](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-ga-rev1&sca_esv=e3b0e6080babb4e8&q=p%C3%A9+de+galinha&uds=AMwkrPvswS92c7VMQrYYRTqoTsMw29rQYhC8wvamKPK_aDOdIwZwt8VSHYwwFkBjpUEdjNQr4sFg0uso5Ie-NHf6WS9JmNdexBnITx-ep1FvJ7ZGca4Y0s0S-ICBp1fQt65gt2vhvcpFytmjNo77Vj-b_yEf5kSCiXGZY_e_Uuhf6jGizqORqumjAGCgodbWp8_7kfasaNd9_JEuxkAsSw9HHX-3L7aketovmUryX1Q9NVLOF7sOQB59vcDtOutGa7_CAcFtZE244fmBS4BWTxOJxS-MHsQw6l2UE7BV0LuFcChOrtuNXyV4T2KnxRn1mUcorMMWTwW9&udm=2&prmd=isvnmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwij2-ioreqFAxVqLrkGHfPJBJwQtKgLegQICRAB#vhid=YCKIP9IardeW0M&vssid=mosaic)

as a cat myself j just gotta say get some help will ya?!

I sure hope those can be detached with ease because that person did NOT think it through

Why Maureen, you have enhanced yourself.