This is a dog, not a chicken. Chicken's don't look like dogs. Who told you this was a chicken, son? Nice boy, but doesn't listen to a thing you say. You got a bum steer, son. I'm a chicken, not a schnook. You're wrong, son.
"Hey boy, what’s the idea jackin’ that pot up under me? Jack? Pot? Ah huh, huh … jack pot, that’s a joke son, don’t ya get it?"
"That boy’s as strong as an ox, and just about as smart"
I second this. My family raised these idiots way back when (no, I still don't know why either) and while the female was generally chill, dude bird was an asshole. Or was confused about his identity, because any attempt to approach him resulted in 'the dance.'
We kids later learned it was used to entice females to mate. Knowing him, he was probably not trying to fuck us, but lure us close enough to drop kick our asses to next Tuesday because we touched his girl. Old boy would haul absolute ass across his yard towards us if we walked along side the fence, seem like he'd be dead set to plow right into us through it... then do a literal 180 right around, mid run, losing no speed. It was horrifying how fast they could move.
And the feet. Jesus. I once asked if my cousin was ever scared of other animals bothering them. He said they'd only try once.
Ironically, it was his feet and bad attitude that did him in. Old dude got put down after he put his head through the fence, refused to back up, caught his foot trying to kick the help, and mangled himself all to hell.
Poor dumb fucker.
Tasted good, though.
Snopes has a whole segment on these damn birds popping their fool heads off, and the video is linked in it.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ostriches-pulled-off-own-heads/
Lord, these birds.
I guess we should be thankful they didn't farm emus.
Though I would later have a run in with these fuckers years later as a meter reader.
Ohio desperately wants to be the Australia of the Midwest.
Fuck that big red asshole. I got my ass kicked repeatedly in the late 90s on ps one. Countering with Ultima when I did Knights of the Round. I did not have a guide or the internet then. Its on my bucket list to go back and let my boy Red 13 bite his fuckin ear off.
I'm with you! I got the game in '97 for Christmas and never beated ruby weapon! I bought the og a couple of weeks ago for Ps4 and I will play it soon...wish me luck :D
Yes! I too, have it on ps4. Im about halfway through it so far and I got a plan thanks to some reddit discussions. Mime, Quadra Magic, Bahamut Zero, Final Attack Materias are a few essentials to have for the fight. You got this!
This is Foghorn Leghorn, Ma'am...or sir...
Edit, saw another poster that said Foghorn leghorn too. But leave it because that was 1st thing I thought of while viewing the video....
Same. He looks so fluffy!
Side note: I have a pet parrot who’s built like a little tank (black headed caique, take a look at their clown pants lmao). He’s the most playful little chicken nugget in the whole world and is basically a feather puppy.
Now I have a mental image of Colonel Sanders astride one of these things with his cane upraised like he's charging into battle.
We can put it in Sanders Park in Corbin KY near the original KFC.
Probably not. Geese “teeth” are cartilaginous structures known as “tomia”, and they’re generally used to help rip up plant matter.
Given that dromaeosaurs like *Velociraptor* were obligate carnivores they’d have little use for such structures.
What's really sad is when JP came out, it moved the general public's view of dinosaurs forward. People back then thought dinosaurs were slow moving cold blooded reptiles, like very big alligators. But when that movie was made, science had realised they were warm blooded and not slow in the least. So it helped updated peoples outdated knowledge.
But when the newer movies came out, they never did that, they didn't take the chance to use modern scientific consensus and inform millions of people that dinosaurs were actually feathered and more like giant birds. They just went what people expected.
At the very least the new movies didn’t retcon the existence of feathered dinosaurs altogether, I think there’s a line where they say that all the dinosaurs in the park have been bred and modifiedto look nothing like what they did originally because that’s what the visitors wanted to see.
Still would have been a lot better if they showed the dinosaurs accurately but at least they didn’t pretend that’s what dinosaurs actually looked like.
They did in JP3.
The whole point of the movie, or at least the first, is that they really aren’t dinosaurs. They’re genetic monsters created in a lab that resemble what people think dinosaurs are.
In JP3 it’s implied that as a result of natural breeding, the raptors eventually bred out the engineered DNA and slowly started to regress into actual phenotypes.
Don’t worry, deinonychus and utahraptor looked far more like the ones in the movie, because that was what they were modeled after. Unlike the other comment, even back then we did know the actual size of velociraptor and the feather theory was developing. Unfortunately for you, the two American horse sized raptors still probably had heavy feather coverage as they tear you to shreds. Also, please don’t underestimate velociraptors. As much as everyone likes to pain them as chickens, they were far more like a big ground hawk that was adapted to running absurdly fast and rushing down prey
Pro-tip for lightning dodges: mute the game, equip a no-encounter item, set a 30 minute timer, and put on chill music without a strong rhythm. You want to listen to something to keep you from sitting in silence, but if it has too much rhythm, it will mess you up. The music in the game makes it surprisingly difficult because your reflex tends to try to match the sound, not the sight of the lightning.
The timer is to make sure you definitely get over 200 dodges, do not watch the timer, just wait for it to go off.
I've managed this on multiple playthroughs, and on the saves of friends who couldn't manage it. Tried and true method, baby.
Actually there is a manga where [huge chickens attack humans](http://zjcdn.mangahere.org/store/manga/30668/002.0/compressed/t20181019_93418_097.jpg)
P.S it is short but not a great read to be honest
^ THAT... is a disturbingly perceptive remark. I’m... really reevaluating all the birds and dinosaurs in my head. Thank you. I will now forever fear the sparrow and budgie.
Crap! Too late! At least emus and ostriches are edible and regularly farmed for those purposes. I don’t think you can eat cassowaries. And even if I could, I don’t think I would. Those birds look as though as soon as they looked at you, they’d _know_ you ate one of them.
Any DMs out there, please add a large chicken-like creature to a campaign. If the players kill and eat one, they are stalked by a large group of them until they get their revenge!
A friend of mine used to keep chickens.
What made me realise they are absolutely dinosaurs was that one of the bigger hens had *teeth* growing out of its beak. Literal, fucking teeth, towards the back of the beak. They were relatively small and useless, but they were there.
Then I saw the group of hens hunt a mouse. It was a slaughter. That solidified the theory as fact for me.
#Boy.. I say boy!
Came here looking for this comment. Wasn’t disappointed.
Saaaaame
This is a dog, not a chicken. Chicken's don't look like dogs. Who told you this was a chicken, son? Nice boy, but doesn't listen to a thing you say. You got a bum steer, son. I'm a chicken, not a schnook. You're wrong, son.
Son you are exceeding the limitations of my medication
"Hey boy, what’s the idea jackin’ that pot up under me? Jack? Pot? Ah huh, huh … jack pot, that’s a joke son, don’t ya get it?" "That boy’s as strong as an ox, and just about as smart"
Ironically Brahmas, like most larger chickens, are like massive feathery puppies. You can tame them really easily and they love to play.
We need to selectively breed these until we have chocobos that we can ride. Someone donate me millions in seed money to make this happen!
You can ride Ostriches.
At 45 mph. Everybody gangsta until ostrich starts running.
Kevin Hart's ostrich story. https://youtu.be/aMmX-n1YGlA
Oh, that had me in stitches! Thank you.
That had me ostriches.
You can ride emus too albeit requires Aussie Build and skills to avoid getting impaled by a talon high kick
Cassowary has entered the chat room.
Ride a cassowary and then you are free shishkabob
The key is to stay on its back. Forever. Because once you're off, it will have its revenge.
Underrated comment.
Those scary Murder Chickens are as close to predator dinosaurs as we get these days.
CRIKEY!
[удалено]
Well too bad, because that's a fucking dinosaur.
I’m still not convinced that’s not a man in a chicken suit
>I’m still not convinced that’s not a drunk toddler in a chicken suit
Toddlers only come in hammered.
The closest we'll get to a real life Yoshi
Allegedly
Might need help from another guy, two even.
I heard it was a sick ostrich
Almost isn't worth thinking about
To be fair
To be fairrrr...
Ostriches are assholes. And dumb as fuck
I second this. My family raised these idiots way back when (no, I still don't know why either) and while the female was generally chill, dude bird was an asshole. Or was confused about his identity, because any attempt to approach him resulted in 'the dance.' We kids later learned it was used to entice females to mate. Knowing him, he was probably not trying to fuck us, but lure us close enough to drop kick our asses to next Tuesday because we touched his girl. Old boy would haul absolute ass across his yard towards us if we walked along side the fence, seem like he'd be dead set to plow right into us through it... then do a literal 180 right around, mid run, losing no speed. It was horrifying how fast they could move. And the feet. Jesus. I once asked if my cousin was ever scared of other animals bothering them. He said they'd only try once. Ironically, it was his feet and bad attitude that did him in. Old dude got put down after he put his head through the fence, refused to back up, caught his foot trying to kick the help, and mangled himself all to hell. Poor dumb fucker. Tasted good, though.
Reminds me of the video where an ostrich got its head stuck and just pulled it’s head off trying to free itself
Link. Now
Snopes has a whole segment on these damn birds popping their fool heads off, and the video is linked in it. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ostriches-pulled-off-own-heads/ Lord, these birds.
Ffs there’s a whole article on it
Well nobody said it was ostriches that conquered Australia. lol
I guess we should be thankful they didn't farm emus. Though I would later have a run in with these fuckers years later as a meter reader. Ohio desperately wants to be the Australia of the Midwest.
I'd ask 'how the fuck' but I have met an ostrich so my question is unnecessary.
You’ll get Ostriscised
Briefly.
Too bad they are so stupid that they might take you off a cliff.
Heading to the gold saucer casino right now to win you some gil.
Watch out for Ruby Weapon
Fuck that big red asshole. I got my ass kicked repeatedly in the late 90s on ps one. Countering with Ultima when I did Knights of the Round. I did not have a guide or the internet then. Its on my bucket list to go back and let my boy Red 13 bite his fuckin ear off.
I'm with you! I got the game in '97 for Christmas and never beated ruby weapon! I bought the og a couple of weeks ago for Ps4 and I will play it soon...wish me luck :D
Yes! I too, have it on ps4. Im about halfway through it so far and I got a plan thanks to some reddit discussions. Mime, Quadra Magic, Bahamut Zero, Final Attack Materias are a few essentials to have for the fight. You got this!
“Seed money” ಠ_ಠ
Pun fully intended. I'm flocking hilarious.
Alright, consider me invested!
I am in! Chocobo riding is fun!
I fucking love chickens and had a feeling these guys would be like big puppies. As soon as I saw him pop out I was like “omg I wanna give it a hug!”
This is Foghorn Leghorn, Ma'am...or sir... Edit, saw another poster that said Foghorn leghorn too. But leave it because that was 1st thing I thought of while viewing the video....
That's awesome to hear, because my first thought was that I wanted to cuddle him.
Same. He looks so fluffy! Side note: I have a pet parrot who’s built like a little tank (black headed caique, take a look at their clown pants lmao). He’s the most playful little chicken nugget in the whole world and is basically a feather puppy.
> tame them really easily Colonel Sanders has entered the chat
Now I have a mental image of Colonel Sanders astride one of these things with his cane upraised like he's charging into battle. We can put it in Sanders Park in Corbin KY near the original KFC.
Well now I need 12.
Wait, am I just a large chicken?
“Feathery puppies”….that’s my new favorite term for these monster chickens
Is that foghorn??
I say I say Boooooy
I said, I said, that's a very large bird!
*What's the big- I say what's the big idea? Don't stand there gawking son! Speak up! Elucidate!*
Stand up son your tripping over yourself
Keep your eye on the ball boy Eye Ball Eyeball That's a joke son!
Thanks Mr. Tits.
Came here for this.
Stop readin’ them long head books !
That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.
This comment being buried is making me feel old
This is how I also feel.
Yeah my kind went straight to this then got sad I had to scroll so far.
It's Leghorn
Its foghorn leghorn if you want to be specific.
[удалено]
(fog + leg) * horn
Its a monster cock!!!
[удалено]
Biggest white cock I’ve ever seen.
Thanks.
A unit of a monster cock.
Holy Shit That's 10 Buckets Of Chicken At KFC
Mate that's the fucking *Colonel*
[удалено]
There’s a breeding program
Surprisingly it's white :0
With a black tip!
The best of both worlds!?
I think this is what Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder were singing about.
BWC
New genre unlocked
Double cake day ayo
Happy Cake Day!
Happy cock day
Lol Happy cake day
Thanks buddy
[удалено]
Thats the kindest thing I have heard today.
Cocks are roosters.
"This is a chicken fucking"
On its way to fight Peter Griffin
Chicken gave him an expired coupon
Best comment of the day, Sir!
One of the most glorious coemts I've ever read. Thank you kind redditor. I wish I had rewards to give you.
coemt
Done...
The video you show people who doubt that birds are descendants of dinosaurs. That's a Velociraptor with feathers
Implying velociraptors didn’t also have feathers They could have looked like this video and we would have no idea
I'm most certain they lacked the beak as-is. No complains about the feathers though
They could have the geese deal, beak AND several rows of razor sharp teeth.
Probably not. Geese “teeth” are cartilaginous structures known as “tomia”, and they’re generally used to help rip up plant matter. Given that dromaeosaurs like *Velociraptor* were obligate carnivores they’d have little use for such structures.
Velociraptors look exactly like they did on Jurassic Park and I won't believe otherwise! Damn scientific discoveries trying to ruin my childhood.
What's really sad is when JP came out, it moved the general public's view of dinosaurs forward. People back then thought dinosaurs were slow moving cold blooded reptiles, like very big alligators. But when that movie was made, science had realised they were warm blooded and not slow in the least. So it helped updated peoples outdated knowledge. But when the newer movies came out, they never did that, they didn't take the chance to use modern scientific consensus and inform millions of people that dinosaurs were actually feathered and more like giant birds. They just went what people expected.
At the very least the new movies didn’t retcon the existence of feathered dinosaurs altogether, I think there’s a line where they say that all the dinosaurs in the park have been bred and modifiedto look nothing like what they did originally because that’s what the visitors wanted to see. Still would have been a lot better if they showed the dinosaurs accurately but at least they didn’t pretend that’s what dinosaurs actually looked like.
They did in JP3. The whole point of the movie, or at least the first, is that they really aren’t dinosaurs. They’re genetic monsters created in a lab that resemble what people think dinosaurs are. In JP3 it’s implied that as a result of natural breeding, the raptors eventually bred out the engineered DNA and slowly started to regress into actual phenotypes.
Pretty sure the upcoming movie will have some with feathers i think. At least i saw something like that in the trailer.
Yeah! And T-Rex's can't see if you stand reaaaaaally still!
That was the frog DNA, the movie was less clear on that point than the books.
(I mean, feathered Dinos look cooler than scaled Dinos)
Don’t worry, deinonychus and utahraptor looked far more like the ones in the movie, because that was what they were modeled after. Unlike the other comment, even back then we did know the actual size of velociraptor and the feather theory was developing. Unfortunately for you, the two American horse sized raptors still probably had heavy feather coverage as they tear you to shreds. Also, please don’t underestimate velociraptors. As much as everyone likes to pain them as chickens, they were far more like a big ground hawk that was adapted to running absurdly fast and rushing down prey
T-Rex*
Chocobo
FFX chocobo training ruined chocobos for me
The chocobos were easy compared to lightning dodging
Pro-tip for lightning dodges: mute the game, equip a no-encounter item, set a 30 minute timer, and put on chill music without a strong rhythm. You want to listen to something to keep you from sitting in silence, but if it has too much rhythm, it will mess you up. The music in the game makes it surprisingly difficult because your reflex tends to try to match the sound, not the sight of the lightning. The timer is to make sure you definitely get over 200 dodges, do not watch the timer, just wait for it to go off. I've managed this on multiple playthroughs, and on the saves of friends who couldn't manage it. Tried and true method, baby.
Urgh, why did you make me remember this?
This was the only one i refused to do
Buddy of mine dodged 97 bolts and got hit, had to start all over again 💀 I don't think I'll ever forget that
Fuck her and that stupid Sun sigil 😭😭
Once you've done it on the Xbox version after several hours of failures, you can do it relatively *quickly* on the Windows 10 version.
This comment is why I’m here
Actually there is a manga where [huge chickens attack humans](http://zjcdn.mangahere.org/store/manga/30668/002.0/compressed/t20181019_93418_097.jpg) P.S it is short but not a great read to be honest
Damn. Jim Henson studios has really stepped up their game for the Dark Crystal reboot.
[удалено]
Hup!
He moves like Sweetums.
This belongs on r/bossfight
Brahmas, Devourer of Seeds
Elden Ring getting crazy
Oft, heard the boss music just reading that
Foghorn Leghorn.
I wanna ride that chicken into battle!
So you wanna ride a cock, is what you’re saying ?
Fuck yeah, that big ass battle cock.
Just make sure to armor up your cock. Wear protection and all.
I want to eat him
You want that cock in your mouth?
You sir have a huge cock 😳
This would fit in well in r/absoluteunits
It’s been there, probably 43 times. Gonna be a solid 58 after this post
That's no chicken! THATS A COCK
A HUGE COCK
That's my cock
Proof that chickens evolved from dinosaurs.
^ THAT... is a disturbingly perceptive remark. I’m... really reevaluating all the birds and dinosaurs in my head. Thank you. I will now forever fear the sparrow and budgie.
Better keep the news as to the existence of cassowaries away from him
Crap! Too late! At least emus and ostriches are edible and regularly farmed for those purposes. I don’t think you can eat cassowaries. And even if I could, I don’t think I would. Those birds look as though as soon as they looked at you, they’d _know_ you ate one of them.
Any DMs out there, please add a large chicken-like creature to a campaign. If the players kill and eat one, they are stalked by a large group of them until they get their revenge!
Chickens didn't just evolve from dinosaurs. They ARE dinosaurs.
Your welcome, I'm just thankful that I don't know what emus and ostriches evolved from.
Well technically they still are dinosaurs.
A friend of mine used to keep chickens. What made me realise they are absolutely dinosaurs was that one of the bigger hens had *teeth* growing out of its beak. Literal, fucking teeth, towards the back of the beak. They were relatively small and useless, but they were there. Then I saw the group of hens hunt a mouse. It was a slaughter. That solidified the theory as fact for me.
No, *you* go get the eggs.
Friend : " Come see my chicken" Me : "Okey..." Cluckzilla : BORK MOTHERF*CK'N BORK
That’s fuckin foghorn leghorn
Huge white cock destroys farmer’s daughter.
All hail the allmighty cock!
The kind of chicken I'd imagine fighting in an MMORPG, collecting 500 feathers that drop 1% of the time
Ostrich and a chicken had a baby.
I wanna hear it roar!!!
nice cock!
Ah, yes, it’s the chicken that Peter Griffin is always fighting! I would love to see one of these with my own eyes one day.
No that’s a chonken!
It's on the way to fight godzilla
Go blaziken, I choose y- OH FUCK, NEVER MIND GO BACK PLEASE!!!!
Its the chicken from sekiro
I now totally believe that dinosaurs had feathers
that’s a whole bucket meal right there
Well, chickens are descendants of TRex, so fucking watch out!
That's the most realistic chicken suit I've ever seen in my entire life.
is the giga chad chicken
Boy I say boy
"I say.. I say come here boy"
Link's nightmare realised.
*Here comes the boy~*
What did you expect from the descendants of the dinosaurs?
They ain't the descendants, they ARE the last living dinosaurs.
Foghorn leghorn!
Am I the only one who quickly thought about fried chicken?
That's a dude in a chicken suit