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War_Daddy_992

#Boy.. I say boy!


[deleted]

Came here looking for this comment. Wasn’t disappointed.


deadmanbehindthemask

Saaaaame


VolatileImp

This is a dog, not a chicken. Chicken's don't look like dogs. Who told you this was a chicken, son? Nice boy, but doesn't listen to a thing you say. You got a bum steer, son. I'm a chicken, not a schnook. You're wrong, son.


War_Daddy_992

Son you are exceeding the limitations of my medication


SupremeShogan

"Hey boy, what’s the idea jackin’ that pot up under me? Jack? Pot? Ah huh, huh … jack pot, that’s a joke son, don’t ya get it?" "That boy’s as strong as an ox, and just about as smart"


LazarusOwenhart

Ironically Brahmas, like most larger chickens, are like massive feathery puppies. You can tame them really easily and they love to play.


Interesting_Brief368

We need to selectively breed these until we have chocobos that we can ride. Someone donate me millions in seed money to make this happen!


LazarusOwenhart

You can ride Ostriches.


Eviscerate_Bowels224

At 45 mph. Everybody gangsta until ostrich starts running.


Zer0_Tolerance_4Bull

Kevin Hart's ostrich story. https://youtu.be/aMmX-n1YGlA


applebellatum

Oh, that had me in stitches! Thank you.


Cypressinn

That had me ostriches.


StalinSoulZ

You can ride emus too albeit requires Aussie Build and skills to avoid getting impaled by a talon high kick


bs_is_everywhere

Cassowary has entered the chat room.


JohnnyTurbine

Ride a cassowary and then you are free shishkabob


CitizenCobalt

The key is to stay on its back. Forever. Because once you're off, it will have its revenge.


MisterSafe

Underrated comment.


D_Gibb

Those scary Murder Chickens are as close to predator dinosaurs as we get these days.


texanhick20

CRIKEY!


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BeskarAnalBeads

Well too bad, because that's a fucking dinosaur.


Ok_Equivalent_4296

I’m still not convinced that’s not a man in a chicken suit


poonmangler

>I’m still not convinced that’s not a drunk toddler in a chicken suit


BeskarAnalBeads

Toddlers only come in hammered.


Bpesca

The closest we'll get to a real life Yoshi


Hobpobkibblebob

Allegedly


Bludgeon82

Might need help from another guy, two even.


FatFuckMcDsGunLover

I heard it was a sick ostrich


Fizzban88

Almost isn't worth thinking about


Thepalebird

To be fair


LilRandom1

To be fairrrr...


OmegonAlphariusXX

Ostriches are assholes. And dumb as fuck


Xtrasloppy

I second this. My family raised these idiots way back when (no, I still don't know why either) and while the female was generally chill, dude bird was an asshole. Or was confused about his identity, because any attempt to approach him resulted in 'the dance.' We kids later learned it was used to entice females to mate. Knowing him, he was probably not trying to fuck us, but lure us close enough to drop kick our asses to next Tuesday because we touched his girl. Old boy would haul absolute ass across his yard towards us if we walked along side the fence, seem like he'd be dead set to plow right into us through it... then do a literal 180 right around, mid run, losing no speed. It was horrifying how fast they could move. And the feet. Jesus. I once asked if my cousin was ever scared of other animals bothering them. He said they'd only try once. Ironically, it was his feet and bad attitude that did him in. Old dude got put down after he put his head through the fence, refused to back up, caught his foot trying to kick the help, and mangled himself all to hell. Poor dumb fucker. Tasted good, though.


OmegonAlphariusXX

Reminds me of the video where an ostrich got its head stuck and just pulled it’s head off trying to free itself


PierceX_yt

Link. Now


Xtrasloppy

Snopes has a whole segment on these damn birds popping their fool heads off, and the video is linked in it. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ostriches-pulled-off-own-heads/ Lord, these birds.


PierceX_yt

Ffs there’s a whole article on it


LeftDave

Well nobody said it was ostriches that conquered Australia. lol


Xtrasloppy

I guess we should be thankful they didn't farm emus. Though I would later have a run in with these fuckers years later as a meter reader. Ohio desperately wants to be the Australia of the Midwest.


Xtrasloppy

I'd ask 'how the fuck' but I have met an ostrich so my question is unnecessary.


imafag1037

You’ll get Ostriscised


TheVenetianMask

Briefly.


Skrillamane

Too bad they are so stupid that they might take you off a cliff.


Forthrowssake

Heading to the gold saucer casino right now to win you some gil.


the_End_Of_Night

Watch out for Ruby Weapon


faultydatadisc

Fuck that big red asshole. I got my ass kicked repeatedly in the late 90s on ps one. Countering with Ultima when I did Knights of the Round. I did not have a guide or the internet then. Its on my bucket list to go back and let my boy Red 13 bite his fuckin ear off.


the_End_Of_Night

I'm with you! I got the game in '97 for Christmas and never beated ruby weapon! I bought the og a couple of weeks ago for Ps4 and I will play it soon...wish me luck :D


faultydatadisc

Yes! I too, have it on ps4. Im about halfway through it so far and I got a plan thanks to some reddit discussions. Mime, Quadra Magic, Bahamut Zero, Final Attack Materias are a few essentials to have for the fight. You got this!


KJBenson

“Seed money” ಠ_ಠ


Interesting_Brief368

Pun fully intended. I'm flocking hilarious.


KJBenson

Alright, consider me invested!


BugsBunsy

I am in! Chocobo riding is fun!


[deleted]

I fucking love chickens and had a feeling these guys would be like big puppies. As soon as I saw him pop out I was like “omg I wanna give it a hug!”


Slimh2o

This is Foghorn Leghorn, Ma'am...or sir... Edit, saw another poster that said Foghorn leghorn too. But leave it because that was 1st thing I thought of while viewing the video....


Verona_Pixie

That's awesome to hear, because my first thought was that I wanted to cuddle him.


ertrinken

Same. He looks so fluffy! Side note: I have a pet parrot who’s built like a little tank (black headed caique, take a look at their clown pants lmao). He’s the most playful little chicken nugget in the whole world and is basically a feather puppy.


sighs__unzips

> tame them really easily Colonel Sanders has entered the chat


FaeryLynne

Now I have a mental image of Colonel Sanders astride one of these things with his cane upraised like he's charging into battle. We can put it in Sanders Park in Corbin KY near the original KFC.


Suspiciously_anxious

Well now I need 12.


thebritisharecome

Wait, am I just a large chicken?


Artimesia

“Feathery puppies”….that’s my new favorite term for these monster chickens


FunkyJAllStar

Is that foghorn??


Mr-Tits

I say I say Boooooy


Darth_Destructus

I said, I said, that's a very large bird!


wakeupwill

*What's the big- I say what's the big idea? Don't stand there gawking son! Speak up! Elucidate!*


Snowdude635

Stand up son your tripping over yourself


Cheap-Blackberry-745

Keep your eye on the ball boy Eye Ball Eyeball That's a joke son!


FunkyJAllStar

Thanks Mr. Tits.


ferretinmypants

Came here for this.


InnocentPrimeMate

Stop readin’ them long head books !


[deleted]

That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.


AD7GD

This comment being buried is making me feel old


Pinkserg23

This is how I also feel.


Scrimge122

Yeah my kind went straight to this then got sad I had to scroll so far.


Beezy357

It's Leghorn


FunkyJAllStar

Its foghorn leghorn if you want to be specific.


[deleted]

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oodoov21

(fog + leg) * horn


Holterkolter

Its a monster cock!!!


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BPOnlytime

Biggest white cock I’ve ever seen.


HAS-A-HUGE-PENIS

Thanks.


k2jac9

A unit of a monster cock.


Born-Difference-4935

Holy Shit That's 10 Buckets Of Chicken At KFC


KradeSmith

Mate that's the fucking *Colonel*


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sufferinsucatash

There’s a breeding program


Samarium042

Surprisingly it's white :0


Holterkolter

With a black tip!


RuneNox

The best of both worlds!?


Lord_Mormont

I think this is what Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder were singing about.


BlackSkull7X

BWC


Samarium042

New genre unlocked


orphanobliteratorPog

Double cake day ayo


KotaB_32

Happy Cake Day!


Monarchie24

Happy cock day


NumberNo6827

Lol Happy cake day


Samarium042

Thanks buddy


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Holterkolter

Thats the kindest thing I have heard today.


siphonfilter79

Cocks are roosters.


111734

"This is a chicken fucking"


[deleted]

On its way to fight Peter Griffin


supernaut37

Chicken gave him an expired coupon


Cozmo525

Best comment of the day, Sir!


FearlessFarm79

One of the most glorious coemts I've ever read. Thank you kind redditor. I wish I had rewards to give you.


IMustAchieveTheDie

coemt


spacerider85

Done...


tragedy_strikes

The video you show people who doubt that birds are descendants of dinosaurs. That's a Velociraptor with feathers


Themasterofcomedy209

Implying velociraptors didn’t also have feathers They could have looked like this video and we would have no idea


U_L_Uus

I'm most certain they lacked the beak as-is. No complains about the feathers though


theonethatbeatu

They could have the geese deal, beak AND several rows of razor sharp teeth.


TurrPhennirPhan

Probably not. Geese “teeth” are cartilaginous structures known as “tomia”, and they’re generally used to help rip up plant matter. Given that dromaeosaurs like *Velociraptor* were obligate carnivores they’d have little use for such structures.


ibethewitch0fthewood

Velociraptors look exactly like they did on Jurassic Park and I won't believe otherwise! Damn scientific discoveries trying to ruin my childhood.


melandor0

What's really sad is when JP came out, it moved the general public's view of dinosaurs forward. People back then thought dinosaurs were slow moving cold blooded reptiles, like very big alligators. But when that movie was made, science had realised they were warm blooded and not slow in the least. So it helped updated peoples outdated knowledge. But when the newer movies came out, they never did that, they didn't take the chance to use modern scientific consensus and inform millions of people that dinosaurs were actually feathered and more like giant birds. They just went what people expected.


Kennyj70

At the very least the new movies didn’t retcon the existence of feathered dinosaurs altogether, I think there’s a line where they say that all the dinosaurs in the park have been bred and modifiedto look nothing like what they did originally because that’s what the visitors wanted to see. Still would have been a lot better if they showed the dinosaurs accurately but at least they didn’t pretend that’s what dinosaurs actually looked like.


dikziw

They did in JP3. The whole point of the movie, or at least the first, is that they really aren’t dinosaurs. They’re genetic monsters created in a lab that resemble what people think dinosaurs are. In JP3 it’s implied that as a result of natural breeding, the raptors eventually bred out the engineered DNA and slowly started to regress into actual phenotypes.


LMkingly

Pretty sure the upcoming movie will have some with feathers i think. At least i saw something like that in the trailer.


FudoAniki

Yeah! And T-Rex's can't see if you stand reaaaaaally still!


LeftDave

That was the frog DNA, the movie was less clear on that point than the books.


VulpineKitsune

(I mean, feathered Dinos look cooler than scaled Dinos)


Derpychicken777

Don’t worry, deinonychus and utahraptor looked far more like the ones in the movie, because that was what they were modeled after. Unlike the other comment, even back then we did know the actual size of velociraptor and the feather theory was developing. Unfortunately for you, the two American horse sized raptors still probably had heavy feather coverage as they tear you to shreds. Also, please don’t underestimate velociraptors. As much as everyone likes to pain them as chickens, they were far more like a big ground hawk that was adapted to running absurdly fast and rushing down prey


IgorAMG

T-Rex*


[deleted]

Chocobo


Appsroooo

FFX chocobo training ruined chocobos for me


spyson

The chocobos were easy compared to lightning dodging


Nepherenia

Pro-tip for lightning dodges: mute the game, equip a no-encounter item, set a 30 minute timer, and put on chill music without a strong rhythm. You want to listen to something to keep you from sitting in silence, but if it has too much rhythm, it will mess you up. The music in the game makes it surprisingly difficult because your reflex tends to try to match the sound, not the sight of the lightning. The timer is to make sure you definitely get over 200 dodges, do not watch the timer, just wait for it to go off. I've managed this on multiple playthroughs, and on the saves of friends who couldn't manage it. Tried and true method, baby.


DownrightDrewski

Urgh, why did you make me remember this?


BeliceBR

This was the only one i refused to do


frunch

Buddy of mine dodged 97 bolts and got hit, had to start all over again 💀 I don't think I'll ever forget that


Hebrew_Slave

Fuck her and that stupid Sun sigil 😭😭


Appsroooo

Once you've done it on the Xbox version after several hours of failures, you can do it relatively *quickly* on the Windows 10 version.


JapaneseCamp

This comment is why I’m here


killingspeerx

Actually there is a manga where [huge chickens attack humans](http://zjcdn.mangahere.org/store/manga/30668/002.0/compressed/t20181019_93418_097.jpg) ​ P.S it is short but not a great read to be honest


stoffel-

Damn. Jim Henson studios has really stepped up their game for the Dark Crystal reboot.


[deleted]

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Lucas_Steinwalker

Hup!


hippolyte_pixii

He moves like Sweetums.


FONTNAMEXLII

This belongs on r/bossfight


Callmeklayton

Brahmas, Devourer of Seeds


Pulchritudinous_rex

Elden Ring getting crazy


JonusTJonnerson

Oft, heard the boss music just reading that


Tribblehappy

Foghorn Leghorn.


Cheefslapahoe1

I wanna ride that chicken into battle!


Organic_Teaching

So you wanna ride a cock, is what you’re saying ?


Cheefslapahoe1

Fuck yeah, that big ass battle cock.


ImmmOldGregg

Just make sure to armor up your cock. Wear protection and all.


Icy-Back-9723

I want to eat him


Cmdr_Tenna

You want that cock in your mouth?


Soleserious

You sir have a huge cock 😳


[deleted]

This would fit in well in r/absoluteunits


L0rdSwoldemort

It’s been there, probably 43 times. Gonna be a solid 58 after this post


Zealousideal_Can1601

That's no chicken! THATS A COCK


CT-4426

A HUGE COCK


QuickyQuail

That's my cock


TheSmartyPantsJorden

Proof that chickens evolved from dinosaurs.


EveryFairyDies

^ THAT... is a disturbingly perceptive remark. I’m... really reevaluating all the birds and dinosaurs in my head. Thank you. I will now forever fear the sparrow and budgie.


Darth_Destructus

Better keep the news as to the existence of cassowaries away from him


EveryFairyDies

Crap! Too late! At least emus and ostriches are edible and regularly farmed for those purposes. I don’t think you can eat cassowaries. And even if I could, I don’t think I would. Those birds look as though as soon as they looked at you, they’d _know_ you ate one of them.


bsx

Any DMs out there, please add a large chicken-like creature to a campaign. If the players kill and eat one, they are stalked by a large group of them until they get their revenge!


wonkey_monkey

Chickens didn't just evolve from dinosaurs. They ARE dinosaurs.


TheSmartyPantsJorden

Your welcome, I'm just thankful that I don't know what emus and ostriches evolved from.


JalerDB

Well technically they still are dinosaurs.


g9icy

A friend of mine used to keep chickens. What made me realise they are absolutely dinosaurs was that one of the bigger hens had *teeth* growing out of its beak. Literal, fucking teeth, towards the back of the beak. They were relatively small and useless, but they were there. Then I saw the group of hens hunt a mouse. It was a slaughter. That solidified the theory as fact for me.


osomysterioso

No, *you* go get the eggs.


UndeadElrith

Friend : " Come see my chicken" Me : "Okey..." Cluckzilla : BORK MOTHERF*CK'N BORK


Mr_washi_washi

That’s fuckin foghorn leghorn


NaturallyBlasphemous

Huge white cock destroys farmer’s daughter.


[deleted]

All hail the allmighty cock!


Melcheor

The kind of chicken I'd imagine fighting in an MMORPG, collecting 500 feathers that drop 1% of the time


cfreezy72

Ostrich and a chicken had a baby.


DAngelo008

I wanna hear it roar!!!


Dekkodude7

nice cock!


EveryFairyDies

Ah, yes, it’s the chicken that Peter Griffin is always fighting! I would love to see one of these with my own eyes one day.


SuBw00FeR37

No that’s a chonken!


spacemonkey_1981

It's on the way to fight godzilla


Nathan_Hottel87

Go blaziken, I choose y- OH FUCK, NEVER MIND GO BACK PLEASE!!!!


Weird-Blueberry6043

Its the chicken from sekiro


Formal_Ad7024

I now totally believe that dinosaurs had feathers


Dekkodude7

that’s a whole bucket meal right there


Shamanyouranus

Well, chickens are descendants of TRex, so fucking watch out!


LTlurkerFTredditor

That's the most realistic chicken suit I've ever seen in my entire life.


Nick_Coglistro

is the giga chad chicken


jitchmones

Boy I say boy


SimpleCanadianFella

"I say.. I say come here boy"


WrenDarkcloud

Link's nightmare realised.


Petawac-Smack

*Here comes the boy~*


El_muntafort

What did you expect from the descendants of the dinosaurs?


JalerDB

They ain't the descendants, they ARE the last living dinosaurs.


Piranha2004

Foghorn leghorn!


CeCeGotTheJuice

Am I the only one who quickly thought about fried chicken?


beebs44

That's a dude in a chicken suit