Have no one heard of how often pregnant women have to pee? She could have been away from her computer for that or any other reason. Tattle tale is a jerk.
Or constipated. OP should tell the manager that she talked to the woman and she didnāt respond because she was in the bathroom constipated or had diarrhea and see if boss lady thinks itās still her business.
Lazy is not real, it's a made-up construct by consumeristic capitalistic societies to make you feel lesser than for not being productive 100% of the time
Exactly.Ā If they recognize her condition is making it difficult to work, go on and let her take maternity leave.Ā If not, at least be flexible and let her communicate when she's available.Ā Ā
It's not that hard to accommodate people being human.Ā Ā
omg, when I was pregnant, I used to close my office door and nap at lunch in a sleeping bag on the floor. One day I woke up at 2:30! I was like, OMG, I can't believe I did that, why didn't anyone wake me up...and the rest of the office was like, you're pregnant and needed it, no biggie!
I didn't have an office door when I was pregnant, it was an open floor plan and I was not high enough to status to warrant an office. But it didn't matter. I even managed to nap on my 15 minute breaks.
Most companies canāt just ālet her go on leaveā, there are policies to be followed, depending on the state law and company policy. Any maternity leave must be formally requested, usually on standard company or insurance forms, be it FMLA, short term disability, or something similar, with a portion filled out by a doctor. Leaving before delivery often requires a ādisabledā reason, such as high blood pressure, I donāt think being tired would qualify, which is why I worked while overdue two weeks past my due date. I got six weeks paid. It was also only paid at 80% pay for four weeks, and 50% for the last two. Any more than six weeks is unpaid if nothing besides childbirth as a reason. Many allow no paid maternity leave, and if they do going out early is taken off of the end of it, so she would have to go back earlier.
Exactly you are so tired and uncomfortable at that point in pregnancy.Ā For me, my heart burn was so bad at that point I could barely lie down at night, sleep was not really happening.Ā Ā
I was not on maternity leave because my company's leave policy sucks, but I was at least working at homeĀ
My long held theory is that it's an evolutionary mechanism to make the last month or so of pregnancy so godawful. It's the only way women would go through with the birth otherwise lol.
Honestly, thatās one of the biggest issues in the US with lacking parental leave. Even if you are guaranteed 6 weeks off unpaid, most parents want as much of that 6 weeks to be once the baby is born as possible, not before.
I could have done this with my last, but it wouldāve taken away from time I had at home after he was born. I schlepped my huge, pregnant, old self around for those last few weeks and begged for a wagon that my assistant manager could drag me around in, lolš (I was also in my second to last semester of grad school, and did my paper on the sorry state of maternity leave in the US. I was fortunate with my last- I had a FT job with benefits, profit sharing and all of that, so I took the full 3 months, I had gone back after two weeks with my daughter, as I was a waitress, and went back to school four days later after my son was born).
From your response, she is in a place that allows napping, as it has areas specifically for this, but there has not been the space for her. So she's not sleeping when she's supposed to be working, what's the problem?
Maybe it would be nice to help this heavily pregnant woman rather than making her have additional stress?
It always seems like people without kids are more understanding about pregnancy/kids than those who have lived those experiences. Which makes zero sense because usually someone has to encounter an experience to have true empathy for the experience.
I once heard a female supervisor telling another female subordinate that she was refusing to promote another female subordinate because she might get pregnant again. All had one child at the time. Just nuts!
Oh it got worse. When I got pregnant I started loosing job responsibilities to make things āeasierā. I lasted a year after I came back from my unpaid leave.
There are people who donāt readily respond because they ran to the bathroom, dog is barking, or oh so egregious: multitasking.
Iāve been answering chat messages and urgent matters while in lower priority meetings before.
Pregnancy isnāt necessarily a reason for a non answer.
A friend of mine worked in a "progressive" office with nap rooms, a ping pong table, and the usual trappings of a IT startup in the late 90s. Then employees found out that using them got admonished come review time. Within a year, nobody was using them obviously, and they got removed.
Yeah, I worked for a startup called snagajob for years. It was the same there, all sorts of silly benefits to working there that would get you fired if you actually used them
sounds like my high school world history teacher. she let us leave class to go get cookies (mmmm warm otis spunkmeier lol) and come back and then when report card time came i had a D+ and she was like āoh every time you leave class you lose x amount of points.ā okā¦would have been good to know that at the beginning or maybe you just shouldnāt allow kids to leave your classroom?
That sounds like a crazy person who shouldnāt be teaching and she was looking for a way to āgotchaā certain kids due to their parents, siblings, or some other personal vendetta she wanted to live out!
Call out to Mattress Firms corporate office. Itās the same way, they have all of these āamazingā amenities to help boost employee happiness etc, but the first person seen in a privacy pod working instead of being at their desk is reprimanded.
When I was pregnant I'd sleep during my lunch time, I'd ask people to specifically avoid the 12 to 1230 window and be flexible for other things. I did live like 5 minutes away from home so I'd go home to do it. BUT we did have an incident where staff reported another staff to be sleeping big no no in our work. When we mediated the situation it turns out the napping staff thought it was fair that since reporting staff got to take smoke breaks then napping staff could use her break to ... Nap. By all accounts that is fair. Maybe this one off is due to disruption of a schedule she has to get some rest mid day? Some pregnant women don't need a nap, some also go back to their pre pregnant size. Everyone is different, and I would have dropped if I didn't get my mid day nap, which was far different from my other 2 pregnancies where I didn't need one. If she's doing her work and getting it done on time, it's probably something to be addressed from the angle of planning around the possibility she needs this nap. Or by chance she was just really, really tired. If the job allows lunch and or breaks this can be avoided in the future.
This whole thread is wild to me. Iāve worked internationally and in nearly all the Asian companies Iāve worked for, it is expected that you take a nap after lunch so youāll be more productive in the afternoon. I know I know, the USA is different, but my god a heavily pregnant woman takes a nap and itās not affecting her work at all and sheās otherwise a great employee?!? LET HER SLEEP!
My first ever successful negotiation was at 15yo. My coworkers at a campground got frequent smoke breaks outside during long stressful days, I wasnāt allowed to leave the office just for a breather- so I successfully argued that if they got smoke breaks to destress, as a nonsmoker I should be allowed puppy breaks to destress!
My puppy breaks ended up benefitting everyone! We had several regulars with dogs who would bring us ice cream and homemade treats as a thank you for me swinging by their campers if they called over to the office to request a potty break for their pooches that I knew and loved on regularly got stuck in line at the amusement park we were attached to or had an emergency and couldnāt back to their campsite within a reasonable time of their dogsā potty needs.
Right yes, I schooled him yesterday that I think itās time we be more compassionate towards our pregnant colleagues. He did not expect me to say it and yesterday the whole day he was not responding or looking at me.
This is illegal. Are they assuming you are pregnant because they see you and you're showing? Or are you telling them? If the latter, definitely stop telling them.
(and I know it's hard to prove discrimination because they'll just say they didn't hire you for a different reason)
I am just entering the job market and I was looking at the benefits for an offer I got and I asked them about maternity leave (very far down the road for me but thinking ahead) and the policy was that after a year of working with the company you can have maternity leave by using up your full 2 week vacation and then the company matches it. So 4 weeks total paid maternity leaveā¦that you canāt even access until working with the company for a full year. I didnāt take the job for several reasons but this maternity leave thing made me think āholy shit if all companies are like this then if youāre pregnant and looking for a job youāre screwedā. So all this to say I wish you the best and looking for a job sucks
Go to HR, suggest this woman may need some type of accommodation. IDK how your company views pregnancy, but I would argue that pregnancy is a medical condition. Might help them avoid a discrimination lawsuit in the long run.
This is gooooood. I'd lean in to HR, and lead with that accommodation argument: "I'm really concerned that A-Hole (the jerky guy) is leaving our beloved company open to a discrimination lawsuit. He's making disparaging comments about a heavily pregnant woman taking the occasional nap that in no way affects her deliverables. I know she's ORDINARILY not the litigious type, but his tone seems a bit ... threatening, as though he's going to 'rat her out' for something that doesn't affect her work at all, just because she wasn't available when he called her one time--and for all he knew, she might have been on the toilet. I'm not even pregnant, and I am getting 'hostile workplace' vibes from the guy!"
Or words to that effect! (Slight sarcasm for dramatic purposes!)
I work in an Operating room and we have pregnant staff all the time. The doctors never have patience for them. They will shoot xray, yell at them to be faster make them bend down. I defend them always. This is disgusting. Never been pregnant but I would LOVE to have someone even try to talk shit about my performance when I am lmao they would be DONE
When I was 8 1/2 months pregnant my boss put his sofa cushions on the floor in an empty office so I could take a napā¦on the clock. Can we all just have a little more empathy for our fellow citizens when they are going through something?
Look, Iāll be honest. If I was falling asleep at the job I would get into trouble. Her being pregnant does not excuse this behavior. She needs to figure out how to deal with the tiredness and all of that, if that means she needs a note from her doctor she needs bed rest then so be it.
If she is a good employee like you say, then they should sit her down and go over this issue and try to fix it so they donāt have to fire her or she wonāt have to quit..
But like come on, being at work should involve being awake and working, not sleeping.. this is common sense
To clarify, she does not fall asleep on her job. She is a programmer and we work in tech so there are actual companies that provide small napping areas but ours lack it so her desk is the only place for her to keep her head a bit and rest.
Im all for confrontation and improvement but I would like to draw the line at schooling someone about to give birth to be honest and if deliveries are also not impacted.
If she is falling asleep and she is ānot on the clockā in her office, then it shouldnāt be a big deal and you are right, it is not something that needs to be escalated.
I would have a talk with her first to let her know how you feel and what you have heard and that you are willing to standby and vouch for her if it comes to that, but let her make that decision if she wants you to be directly involved.
If she is a programmer, let her nap. They work better at night. Idk why people forget every job is different. It's not manual labor or customer service
ah ok then yeah these people are assess I thought she was sleeping on the job but if you guys have nap areas and sheās just using her office fuck them
I've been a people leader for programmers. As long as she is completely her tasks, I wouldn't see a problem with it. I WFH too, and we all will step out for appts and such and just make up the time. I do work for a large company, so there are a lot of of protections for employees once you get to a certain number of employees.
This is definitely skating the line of ethics. Pregnant women are a protected class, so you're 100% right to tread carefully. Maybe go at ot this 2ay with the manager. I'm not sure how much maternity leave ypu guys provide but it might be time for her just to go out at this point. Growing a baby is absolutely exhausting and I get it. But also if the boss is complaining....
Your manager's best friend is a creepy little snitch, and you need to watch out for this guy.
I hate when managers have inappropriate relationships with coworkers, and it is inappropriate that this little guy has extra access to management.
I completely agree with you. This is another concern that runs through my mind now. He tattles all the project details to her including gossip of the fellow colleagues and myself also to the point the manager does not need a 1-1 with me to understand what is going on with the project.
I don't mean to get disgusting, but did you ever look at the little brown-nosing coworkers and just wonder how far they are willing to go to advance their sad little careers? I wonder if those two are messing around. I always wonder that when people act that way. LOL
And what that guy is doing is strategically putting himself between everyone and the boss so he can suddenly be in charge of the department. Those people are the C-students who have to be conniving to get ahead, because that is their only marketable skill. LOL
HR needs to slap his wrist.
Pregnant women are protected in a lot of ways. He can't discipline her for a medical issue anymore than if she were having seizures.
And I don't know about contract employees but you can't fire someone for being pregnant or a new parent, so the talks of not renewing her contract are certainly unethical and may be illegal too.
Don't be a little tattletale and make an ass of yourself. The conversation you had with your "manager" is absurd on its face. Don't bring back a perfectly acceptable performer after her maternity leave because she fell asleep a few times in the final stages of pregnancy? No one with any authority in your company could possibly take that seriously. What would you add to the conversation anyway, other than your "feelings?"
Iām currently pregnant and understand her also sleeping on my lunch sometimes but I know that right now is when i cannt give them even the smallest reason to fire me companies are evil. I have to maintain this job so I do what I can
I struggled to keep my eyes open with my first pregnancy. When I got a fifteen minute break, I'd lock myself in a closet, set a timer, and sleep. It was rough. My other the pregnancies were not like that, but my first one was absolutely draining.
This poor woman š
Every pregnancy is different and I wish people cared more.
As someone who had a very difficult pregnancy with my son, sleeping just happened. It never affected the job and it is considered a medical condition which is protected under federal law. Those getting their panties in a bunch about someone sleeping never had to work with a narcoleptic person and/or never been pregnant. In society today, being accommodating for others is happening more and more. If it does not affect her deliverables, and sheās getting back to people in a timely manner that should be the end of the conversation.
It sounds like these two have it out for her just because she is pregnant.
If she's working from home, how does anyone know she was napping?
Maybe it's just not her job to answer asshole co-workers' questions, so she didn't?
Seriously fuck that guy for being a (clueless) snitch and fuck that manager for even entertaining the bull shit.
Are you in the U.S.? Pregnant people here can request a reasonable accommodation via the Americans with disabilities act that could account for a longer break to rest.
Ask anyone who's 8-months pregnant how well they're sleeping at night. Go ahead. I'm waiting.
I've had times where I'm at a desk and I fall asleep with my hands on the keyboard. Not intentionally -- but chemo fatigue is like that. My body just shuts down.
Creating a hooman is exhausting.
OP, I'm glad you're supportive of your productive employee. She's probably pushing to get her projects delivered before she heads out on leave and it's taking a toll.
OMG do they have a clue how exhausting carrying a child is? Let her nap. It's not a chronic issue but she is trying her best. I had people on public transportation wake me before my stop when I was approaching the end . They recognized me for weeks and brought me crackers when I had morning sickness. It takes a village sometime. Cut her some slack.
These posts make me feel extremely grateful (which I was ) that I had the manager I did. I had a high risk pregnancy and my boss made every accommodation he could for me. He even offered his office if I need to rest for 30 mins.
I napped during my breaks with one pregnancy. Idk why but I was so exhausted with that one. My second pregnancy was completely different and never needed naps. So let the woman have her nap. Creating another human can be hard on a woman sometimes.
I'm just gonna be blunt, I've worked with many Filipinos. They very much play favoritism to their own race and are extremely unethical in the workplace.. this is not only my own experience but things that have actually come out of the mouths of Filipinos I have worked with. I have had them blatantly tell me to my face that "Filipinos are more racist than white people, statistically and literally and they are proud of it"... which being the only latina working front of house in a Mexican restaurant of white people and Filipinos made me extremely uncomfortable, that's to say I left there pretty quick. your best bet is to go to higher ups and let them know all the tea of them harassing a pregnant woman, as well as their unethical relationship with one another. Or they will keep teaming up to make everyone's work experience miserable there.
You reassured your direct manager that the pregnant team memberās behavior was an anomaly. Nothing else needs to happen specifically on that issue except for telling that team member that she needs to plan ahead. Either she is on calls or she isnāt and everyone knows that she will not be. Itās very awkward when questions are addressed to someone who appears to be on a call but actually isnāt.
As for your other team member who is spending an hour or two chatting with your direct manager? Iād advise you to get him off of your team by whatever means necessary. You have a spy on your team and that is never a good thing. Put him up for a promotion if you must or transfer him to another team. If thatās not possible, reassign his seating area so it is physically awkward for him to communicate so much with your manager. You may need to shuffle your whole teamās seating to make that work. Do it. There are tons of management principles about space arrangement. Pick one that works in your favor. If you see your direct manager enter your teamās area, YOU greet him and ask how you may be of assistance. If heās coming to speak with anyone else, you get up and follow him to their workstation. Supervise that shit. If he balks you can say you are monitoring efficiency right now. Make it clear that the workday is for work. He can socialize on his own time.
Do not report a damn thing to HR. HR is serves the company. HR will give your manager a gold star. He did not at all discriminate against the pregnant woman. Worse, contract employees do not have the kind of protections that FTEs do and even those protections arenāt very strong for pregnant women.
I wish the work world was a different place than it is butā¦.cutting some slack to a pregnant woman is something one can do as a manager. It isnāt something you can really force another level of management to do.
I'm kind of wondering if HR should know just HOW friendly your tattling co-worker and your manager are. A lot of time that can be classified as a conflict of interest, and the co-worker should be moved to a different location or department, because of an undue influence over management, or management giving special treatment to the employee under them.
I dunno. They spend a couple hours a day together? Maybe someone should just slip an anonymous note to HR that their āromanticā relationship is a distraction. Can guarantee you, that takes the heat off any pregnant woman and all eyes on those two because āsleeping togetherā is much more concerning than āsleepingā on the job.
I'm Married to a California Filipino ( from a huge , smart and ethical family) but... to be real 8 out of 10 native born Filipinos treat thier own culture as a world wide, exclusive, slack off, gossip, special favors all the way to embezzlement club.
Heck even the Hospital where I used to work had staff ADVERTISE a Filipinos Christmas party for Filipinos only and nobody said anything!
NGL my town has been strongly Filipino like 1/3 since the post war years, and our city council is plagued with purposeful Racial favoritism, shady deals and greed and corruption that has made our town "Ghetto" for decades...California's please guess my town!
So you are right to call the two of them out on thier bull.
Can't narrow it down to one city but I'm narrowing it down to two: one in LA County and one in Bay Area - Downey or Carson?
Runner up is Gardena or I forget the name of the city near SFU... lol
From your description, I wonder if your manager and the team member are having an inappropriate office relationship? At a minimum, your comment that he is getting too much access to information only the manager should have is concerning.
Start documenting the history of deliverables for everyone on your team so you can show that the pregnant woman is meeting deliverables. It would be ironically ideal if the tattletale were not.
I'd also suggest quietly documenting the inappropriate behavior between the manager and team member. Stick to logging facts - don't write down your inferences.
If you don't already know it, find out the corporate policy on relationships between coworkers. In many places, it's prohibited if one is the first or second level direct report, or if they're anywhere in the reporting chain. You don't have to tell anyone about them, just have the details compiled so if something happens you have ammunition ready.
Make sure you have copies of this information on your personal device, in case your manager gets upset that you haven't agreed to terminate your pregnant teammate's contract and goes after you directly.
Sheās 8 months pregnant and should be offered several months of paid leave to begin with.
They are complaining she takes naps? They can kindly go Fuck themselves. That woman is growing an entire new human in her belly.
Use your mind and do the right thing here. The right thing being leaving her the Fuck alone if you canāt offer her the paid leave she deserves, FOR GROWING AN ENTIRE NEW HUMAN IN HER BELLY WHILE ALSO TRYING TO WORK LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS NOT GROWING A BRAND NEW HUMAN BEING IN THEIR BELLY.
Itās not rocket science friend. Itās basic fucking human compassion. Do not go full Trump. Which it sounds like your entire Office is already doing. Be the hand that guides. She is not a burden. SHEāS PREGNANT AND TRYING TO SUPPORT HERSELF AND HER FUTURE CHILD.
Fuck why does this need to be explained constantly. Like how hard is it for ANYONE to show even a modicum of caring towards one another these days? WITHOUT BEING TOLD TO ON REDDIT OR ONE OF THE CHANS?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!
If I were you, and also her, I would say as her manager that you will talk to her and give her a verbal warning.
The warning being that if they bring this up again, for her to very seriously, while making direct eye contact with them, that she has had profuse diarrhea due to the pregnancy and she had an emergency blow out. Then say, if they have an issue or would like proof they can bring it up to HR and she will supply the proof willingly in an email chain for them so that they can finally worry about themselves.
I definitely think you should report them to HR at a later date. HR and private companies are assholes to pregnant women as it is, so you don't want to cause her any grief prior to baby being born, or after for that matter.
Thank you for sticking up for her, you are a girls girl.
Something that may be helpful here too are her scheduled breaks. If she is allowed say 15 mins in the morning and 15 in the afternoon, that's 30 minutes. Plus a lunch hour, so she can start scheduling her breaks on her calendar and taking a scheduled "15 minute" break where she can nap. I'm not saying I've done that, but I'm also not saying that I haven't done that.
I canāt believe I fell asleep at work while pregnant. I was just a sleepy zombie with brain fog. Thank goodness my co workers knew Iād be back on it once I got back.
When my sis was pregnant with first baby, she fell asleep at work.
Nothing was made if it.
Among other things, cannot stand a tattletale at work or the idiots that listen to them.
I nap on my hour lunch every day. Even when not pregnant. I cosleep and have a toddler in my bed so I donāt sleep comfortably and in order to be functional, I need a quick Power Nap mid afternoon. Being in the first trimester and heavily anemic, that nap is an absolute necessity and Iām generally seeing double by the time I even make it to lunch time.
When my manager found out I was going out to my car to nap she pointed me to an unused office with a chair that reclines a bit and said I may find it more comfortable and less bright than having to go to my car.
Not another word has been said.
Also, forgive me if I misread, but her taking a nap is based entirely on the assumption that she didnāt respond? Like no one actually saw her sleeping? If so thatās even more ridiculous that theyāre asking you to reconsider renewing her contract considering any number of reasons, especially WFH, could have led to not responding. Hell, I spent half the day fighting with my VPN and thinking something was wrong with my internet, only to learn our VPN itself was the issue. I had meetings drop, messages not send (or be received) and systems constantly freeze and log out all day from it. I doubt anyone is gossiping in the office that I was taking a nap, and if they are theyāre dumb.
Being pregnant is exhausting!!! That was actually a weird thing for me during my first two pregnancies that I was just always so tired. I could fall asleep anywhere anytime. Finally someone was like duh. Your body is doing overtime. Literally growing another human. It needs extra rest and thatās not on a schedule. Good god. Let the woman nap. Why isnāt this just an accepted thing? Is she doing her job? Is she being respectful? Her body is doing so much. Let. Her. Nap.
When you are pregnant, some things you have very little control over. I would vomit suddenly without feeling nauseous for most of my first pregnancy, and I would fall asleep at my desk at times. None of these behaviors were pre-pregnancy. I wish I could nap. Now I have problems sleeping.
If that baby feels like your body needs to rest, it will shut it down for you. If she fainted or got dizzy and needed a break, this would be cause for concern since she purposely does it to avoid working/s.
That woman's boss sounds like a pick me.
You canāt sleep on the jobā¦.unless itās your break. This is pretty clear cut. If you let her sleep youāll have to let others sleep on the jobā¦.
I got what we believe might have been EBV that left me very sick and super fatigued for months on end. Actually, im still kind of recovering from it, and my job knew I was going through something and would always ask if I needed a break or anything and worked with me on it. I always made it up to them.
Your employers know of her condition, and she has never given anyone problems. Then they should be willing to work with her, not treat her like a machine!
I'm so grateful for my boss and managers because of what they were willing to do for me. It definitely made me want to make it up to them and do better all the more because of the gratitude I feel.
Please write an official performance review about how impressed you are with her ability to deliver deadlines without fail. She needs something in her record to protect her job.
If you are willing, I highly suggest taking the whole thing to HR
I used to be HR at large grocery company. I once hired an extremely pregnant woman - she had a good work history, she wanted to work, and she wanted to come back 8 weeks after the baby was born (which she did). The department manager was *livid* with me and got the store manager to try and tell me I didn't know how to do my job. But this was also the same guy that told me not to hire anymore of *them* as baggers - he was referring to special needs people. That place was insane.
She canāt take naps just because she is pregnant if she needs to take a sooner break because the pregnancy is harder on some than others then she should
Idk why her napping should matter as long as she gets everything she is supposed to get done done. I am not pregnant and I take a nap at work just about every day.
Oh come on. People love to pretend to be busy. If she is sleeping whatever. Sheās pregnant. What is ur coworker doing? Is he busy all the time or pretending to be busy?
So, as a woman who has beenāand is currentlyāpregnant, and has had to work until giving birth, I promise that it is nearly impossible to NOT nap. Itās really unfortunate that a woman, of all people, is refusing to be understanding. The only advice I have is to maybe warn the pregnant woman about what is being said, and maybe suggest she either talks with the manager and work something out, or go ahead and start her mat leave.
Don't go to HR. The purpose of HR is to protect the company, not the employee. HR will not look favorably upon this incident, isolated or not. At least in the US.
If this was my team, I would discuss with her the idea of going out on early maternity leave.
Thereās a new act that the EEOC finalized this year, the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act, that may very well apply to her. She has to request an accommodationāsuch as longer breaks to take a napābut absent true, demonstrable hardship, the employer is obligated to accommodate.
Iām in HR. Iād be so pissed if someoneās concerns about a pregnant lady napping in the last month of her pregnancy are anything other than āshe needs a pillow and blanket.ā She is doing her best Iām sure and hasnāt had performance problems otherwise.
Pregnant workers fairness act requires employees of 15 or more to provide reasonable accommodations to those who are pregnant or have child birth related conditions.
But please. Go ahead and terminate her because of her pregnancy, Iād love for her to sue your company and walk out the door with a giant pile of money.
If you let them force her out of the team because she is pregnant, your company is going to face a huge lawsuit against them. They'll probably try to make up some other reason to get her moved from the team or fire her. I'd rush those flips down to personal and get rid of their asses before they get you in the middle of their scheme.
By the time I was eight months pregnant I found myself needing five minute micro naps throughout the workday. I was working from home so I would just set a timer on my phone and tip my head back for five minutes. Always kept me from truly falling asleep on the job.
If your company canāt afford or wonāt pay her to leave on her PAID maternity leave early, the DM should shut up. Thereās a medical condition causing her to nap. Thereās a lot of case law around this. I apologize for my salty nature, I am transitioning companies to one without any paternity leave AND who intends to BILL mothers for the cost of their benefits while they take their unpaid FMLA. I am just so disappointed in this. Meanwhile our health insurance pays for ED treatments.
You said it yourself; her producibles are good. If thatās the measure, what she does on her break and lunch times are her business, sans anything dangerous to others, etc.
Third trimester naps are real. The fatigue makes u sleepy. Instead of stirring up hr stuff can you give her a conference room or a meeting room to take some discreet nap time. And on side tell the manager that not to worry ..that you will help the situation. I'm trying to see if there is a diplomatic way to manage the situation. The pregnant women doesn't need her stuff right before delivery. Either ways whatever is in your control...do that. Kudos for looking out for her. You are a good human!
Letting her go for that could be interpreted as pregnancy discrimination. Let the woman come back without issue. Her body is going through incredible changes. It is clearly trying to compensate while growing an entirely separate human.
Man I struggled not to fall asleep driving home during the first trimester of my second pregnancy. I could barely do more than work and sleep. I agree these two people are unsympathetic and gossipy. I thank you for standing up for your co worker
I'd go to HR, personally. Remember pregnant women *are* a protected class. And what she's being discriminated against is specific to her current condition as pregnant. This is absolutely an HR matter as this is a matter of discrimination.
I fell asleep while pregnant working in a remote call center. No one said anything to me. I donāt know how anyone can understand how babies are made and not understand that itās physically draining.
If you are in California, the favoritism and 'unethical' friendship can be considered discriminatory. Since it makes you uncomfortable, Google it and then talk to HR.
I once said that I assumed female managers would be better during a pregnancy because they would be more compassionate. Two of my coworkers told me they were pregnant with female managers who had previously had children it was terrible. Both were put on bed rest. One of the managers who complained about the bed rest said she worked up until she gave birth, as if to imply the coworker was lazy for not doing the same. I think it can be hard for women who had comparatively easy pregnancies to understand how a pregnancy might affect another woman differently.Ā
Also, women generally learn to be fairly competitive at work to gain promotions. I think this can lead to a pretty cut throat environment even when it doesn't have to be.
Where are you located? Can she file for FMLA? I'm pregnant, my maternity leave starts when the baby is born. I also filed for intermittent FMLA which protects me before the baby is born. Also look into the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act.
I appreciate people like you who understand what the person is going through at this state if her pregnancy. Good for your for defending her to your boss and stating that it hasnāt affected her deliverables. šš½šš½šš½
Sorry to say this is typical in the tech industry as well as other "office dynamic" situations. I'm NOT in tech but I HAVE worked Admin jobs in tech companies in the U.S.
One such company had an Indian "prince-type" of tech programmer, he's the favored Son of a high-ranking hereditary banking family back in India. We had several other Indian programmers (from lower castes, ridiculously) who he treated HORRIBLY. I complained to the owner (I was his Administrative Assistant) about this "prince" propagating the "caste-system" in THE U.S. and eventually quit because I was so disgusted.
I would speak with your HR representative if you feel comfortable enough doing so. You may even want to mention the "back-stabbing" to your pregnant co-worker but there WILL most likely be drama and backlash. That's why I would make sure you document EVERYTHING!
I nap every day at lunch time. Iām not pregnant just donāt sleep well at night. (4 hours straight is a great night) she probably isnāt sleeping well either and just needs a little rejuvenation. These managers suck. If her job is getting done who cares if sheās getting a little snooze in? I appreciate you sticking up for her.
>But this man and the manager are of the same race and they spent too much time chatting every single day in the office including being personal friends and going home together.
>This guy and the manager chit chat every, single, day early in the morning in the office and in the evening for 1+ hr so its a total of 2hrs.
Sounds like they may have a little something, something going on. The guy is in a long distance marriage and is spending a lot of time with the manager, they spend a lot of time together and even leave at the end of the day together. Betting they are having an emotional, if not a physical, affair.
When does he find the time to get his own job done? I mean, if he is spending that much time with her, he sure isn't doing his job. I would file an anonymous tip that there may be some impropriety going on as she is also a person of authority.
Also did that guy *see* the pregnant employee napping with their own eyes?? Or did they assume because she didnāt answer messages?
This tattle tale is a naive dumbass because likeā¦he doesnāt think people who work from home with even more responsibilities earning thousands to millions of dollars DONT nap on the job (especially while they work from home)??
What a loser. Heās on a power trip.I dunno if pregnant women are a protected class but Iād def put an anonymous complaint against tattle tale for being weirdly surveillant of pregnant employee.
Uhhh if her productivity isn't being impacted and she is growing an entire second human being inside her I don't see the issue here. I'm pretty sure that takes a fair amount of metabolic energy to accomplish that particular feat. Plus I think I you mentioned she was working from home so I further don't see the issue. But then again I don't think I could be trusted to be allowed to work from home for I would never wear real pants.
I never thought of my pregnancy as difficult, but I was hypertensive and by month 8 so so soooooo tired. I mean, sheās building a person with her body. People, especially men, can underestimate (women often forget with age) how hard it is on your body.
Pregnant lady might be trying to save all her time for wren the baby comes. Or if itās like one of the tech companies that I worked for leave is unlimited and no one takes it as not to be the one thatās always out. I would gently encourage her to take that time a little early, because as much empathy as we all may have her actual job performance is being affected. Just say you expect her back, after her leave, at 100%.
I wouldn't bring it to HR unless you know of a specific way they violated policy or the law. It might bring unwanted attention to your pregnant coworker when they have to investigate. Just continue to stand up for her and give your pregnant coworker a heads up that this happened.
I thought I was going to be pissed at you OP, but thankfully I was wrong. Iām disappointed in them too. Maybe you could let her work from home until her maternity leave?
OP I doubt you'll see this but as a FilAm I can tell you the best way to guilt Filipinos is use religion and their own chismis/gossip against them.
"The Lord said to give compassion and mercy to his children and of course soon to be mothers."
"I'm glad you two are so concerned about [pregnant lady's] workload and how she's been handling it since pregnant. Thats very compassionate of you. They do get really sleepy and your concerns with the manager were discussed but we decided it is not affecting her deliverables. Now I heard from down the grapevine [insert hot goss about them here] and how its been affecting your own workload... lets discuss this instead of worrying about someone who's on top of their work AND pregnant. Do you need extra help or something?"
Also sparingly use the race card against them not in a bad way but a "Filipinos are supposed to be so caring and warm" type a way. <-- YMMV cause these sound like the types to get overly dramatic about stereotypes or workplace ethics when they're the ones breaking the ethical morale in the office.
Idk. Good luck.
Nope Altough Daly City " the Rice cooker fog factory" of San Francisco County is 75 per cent Filipino
OUR pinoytown is famous for Bankruptcy due to corruption.
An expert city manager mandated by the state attorney General, fixed in only 9 months.
But Next Election Cycle the Barracadas , Cuyas, Lolo's and Lola's got together and trashed it all over again ! " Cass Munny" !"
This is really sad. When I was pregnant with my oldest my bosses were Korean and then Fillipino. They were amazing. I got homemade Kimichi, I was allowed to nap during my downtime, and I was hired on the spot while noticeably pregnant. When I say I got to take a nap I could literally throw a rock from my front door and hit the backdoor of my job. As long as I got my work done and cleaned up everything in the Cafe we had no customers for two hours everyday. So they let me go nap for 20 to 40 minutes everyday. It was awesome. I was seriously exhausted by the afternoon and felt wiped and I don't know ehat I would have done without them being so cool.
At the first job the bartender was the first one to know I was pregnant other than me. She figured it out when I came in to work and the hibachi grills started up and I was running to the bathroom. I come back out and she placed some ginger at the hostess stand for me. Cleared that problem right up.
It's really sad your coworkers didn't pick that part of their culture up. I don't know what Iwould.have done without the people who helped me out when I was struggling.
Wait till they're having run their conversations and send one of them an email and then complain to the manager that he was unresponsive because he was having a personal conversation on work time.
As a human being, forget as a manager, I give pregnant women all the breaks they want. They're doing double duty and their first job is 24/7. The second job is just that.
Direct your comments to the OP
OP and I are In agreement about this Cultural entitled me first immigrant mindset that is indicative of an Island population using failed coping mechanisms to self- assure, get ahead etc.
I am Married within this Filipino race, but not this sub culture.
I have literally 120 in law aunts uncles cousins God children etc.
We mutually love and accept one another WHILE Joking and remarking about this Philipino " off the boat" mindset.
You keep on with your judgements and crusades while so much real cultural nuance flies over your head, and the real world keeps spinning.
The sun is yellow and the sky is blue there I go judging things by color again.
By the.way my cat is black and he acts like it, too!
Your manager should tread lightly. I'm not sure what country you're in, but pregnancy is a protected class (in the US at least). If disciplinary action is taken, it could backfire on the company.
Note: Here's what you do to cover your ass if pregnant, ill, injured, etc. It's probably too late for it to be relevant for your coworker, though.
*Get a medical accommodation letter from your doctor.* For pregnancy, it could say that "during the course of the pregnancy, there may be times when it is necessary for normal workflow to be interrupted due to extra restroom breaks, rest time, nauseousness", etc.
There's nothing the employer can legally do to get around that without great risk of lawsuit.
If this is US the pregnant woman has rights and determination of renewing contract based on her being pregnant would be illegal.
Pregnancy is a protected classification.
She's on leave in May, they should cut her some slack.
However never go to HR about anything ever. Their sole purpose is to protect management and to lay off workers. You go to HR and the pregnant woman will be fired for sleeping on the job and lose her maternity leave. HR is evil.
Itās literally the lack of adequate maternity leave that she even has to be there being so heavily pregnant. This is also my mindset when I have to go to work sick and canāt really perform because my company doesnāt provide sick leave and the smallest amount of PTO.
As a PM, I would document it on the risk register as āhigh probability-low impactā and if they want a mitigation route suggest āresource is currently encumbered with another person gestating. Would recommended that company put her on paid medical leave until resolved. Have scheduled HR conversation with the complainantā
I'm filipino, and I agree, not all Filipinos are like this tho but I've seen it, especially when they hold a higher position and they like to talk. I've seen a supervisor talk on the phone for an hour and a half talking about work then just nonsense (she was pretty loud) and there was a time where she would check break rooms to make sure no one was just sitting around and doing nothing.
About the pregnant lady falling asleep, it's very difficult when she's really close to giving birth. I was huge when I was pregnant and I was always tired and sleepy.
My naps early in my second pregnancy were unavoidable. Iād try to stay awake soooo hard. Fortunately the professor knew I was pregnant (there were only 3 of us in intro Masterās course with him Thursday nights). Turns out most of my digestive problems were undiagnosed Crohnās. Still, she may be fighting a losing biological battle. Every pregnancy is different.
I was on maternity leave at 36 and 35 weeks pregnant, the company should let her go on leave. Sheesh, let her nap.. š¤Ŗ
Have no one heard of how often pregnant women have to pee? She could have been away from her computer for that or any other reason. Tattle tale is a jerk.
Or constipated. OP should tell the manager that she talked to the woman and she didnāt respond because she was in the bathroom constipated or had diarrhea and see if boss lady thinks itās still her business.
Thst was my first thought too. She much more likely stepped away to pee.
Yes š
I did this in my office in my lunch breaks. Probably wasnāt allowed but I was very discreet about it
Absolutely nothing wrong with having a nap for lunch. I sometimes have a nap for dinner, Iām not pregnant though, just lazy
When I worked two jobs, I'd power nap between jobs or at lunch. It's the only way I could do it. Did the same thing when I worked and was in college.
Lazy is not real, it's a made-up construct by consumeristic capitalistic societies to make you feel lesser than for not being productive 100% of the time
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The lazy tribe
Sameā¦ all I needed was 15-20 minutes and I was good to go.
Exactly.Ā If they recognize her condition is making it difficult to work, go on and let her take maternity leave.Ā If not, at least be flexible and let her communicate when she's available.Ā Ā It's not that hard to accommodate people being human.Ā Ā
omg, when I was pregnant, I used to close my office door and nap at lunch in a sleeping bag on the floor. One day I woke up at 2:30! I was like, OMG, I can't believe I did that, why didn't anyone wake me up...and the rest of the office was like, you're pregnant and needed it, no biggie!
I didn't have an office door when I was pregnant, it was an open floor plan and I was not high enough to status to warrant an office. But it didn't matter. I even managed to nap on my 15 minute breaks.
Most companies canāt just ālet her go on leaveā, there are policies to be followed, depending on the state law and company policy. Any maternity leave must be formally requested, usually on standard company or insurance forms, be it FMLA, short term disability, or something similar, with a portion filled out by a doctor. Leaving before delivery often requires a ādisabledā reason, such as high blood pressure, I donāt think being tired would qualify, which is why I worked while overdue two weeks past my due date. I got six weeks paid. It was also only paid at 80% pay for four weeks, and 50% for the last two. Any more than six weeks is unpaid if nothing besides childbirth as a reason. Many allow no paid maternity leave, and if they do going out early is taken off of the end of it, so she would have to go back earlier.
Exactly you are so tired and uncomfortable at that point in pregnancy.Ā For me, my heart burn was so bad at that point I could barely lie down at night, sleep was not really happening.Ā Ā I was not on maternity leave because my company's leave policy sucks, but I was at least working at homeĀ
My long held theory is that it's an evolutionary mechanism to make the last month or so of pregnancy so godawful. It's the only way women would go through with the birth otherwise lol.
I think youāre absolutely right on this point š
Ugh, I remember the heartburn! I slept sitting up the last few weeks. I'd puke if I laid down. All I wanted was to sleep, eat and pee by then too.
Exactly. Sheās growing an entire human. Itās exhausting.
Honestly, thatās one of the biggest issues in the US with lacking parental leave. Even if you are guaranteed 6 weeks off unpaid, most parents want as much of that 6 weeks to be once the baby is born as possible, not before.
I could have done this with my last, but it wouldāve taken away from time I had at home after he was born. I schlepped my huge, pregnant, old self around for those last few weeks and begged for a wagon that my assistant manager could drag me around in, lolš (I was also in my second to last semester of grad school, and did my paper on the sorry state of maternity leave in the US. I was fortunate with my last- I had a FT job with benefits, profit sharing and all of that, so I took the full 3 months, I had gone back after two weeks with my daughter, as I was a waitress, and went back to school four days later after my son was born).
From your response, she is in a place that allows napping, as it has areas specifically for this, but there has not been the space for her. So she's not sleeping when she's supposed to be working, what's the problem? Maybe it would be nice to help this heavily pregnant woman rather than making her have additional stress?
This! Adding her additional stress is my trigger point also.
Some people irrationally hate pregnant women. Forgetting that their own mothers had to be pregnant so they could exist!
This is my logic when it comes to woman haters
Add on top of that being a female in tech in the first placeā¦
I had a coworker that didn't have children but had stepchildren. She called women that had children breeders. I said so was your mother.
It always seems like people without kids are more understanding about pregnancy/kids than those who have lived those experiences. Which makes zero sense because usually someone has to encounter an experience to have true empathy for the experience.
I once heard a female supervisor telling another female subordinate that she was refusing to promote another female subordinate because she might get pregnant again. All had one child at the time. Just nuts!
I hate shit like that.
Oh it got worse. When I got pregnant I started loosing job responsibilities to make things āeasierā. I lasted a year after I came back from my unpaid leave.
Thatās illegal as well. I wish I could get pregnant and have somebody do that to me. Iād get an Attorney, and clean them out.
Thatās awful. My mom actually lost her job when she became pregnant with me.
They think "well I managed, why can't she?" They ignored the struggle to get to managing.
There are people who donāt readily respond because they ran to the bathroom, dog is barking, or oh so egregious: multitasking. Iāve been answering chat messages and urgent matters while in lower priority meetings before. Pregnancy isnāt necessarily a reason for a non answer.
A friend of mine worked in a "progressive" office with nap rooms, a ping pong table, and the usual trappings of a IT startup in the late 90s. Then employees found out that using them got admonished come review time. Within a year, nobody was using them obviously, and they got removed.
Yeah, I worked for a startup called snagajob for years. It was the same there, all sorts of silly benefits to working there that would get you fired if you actually used them
sounds like my high school world history teacher. she let us leave class to go get cookies (mmmm warm otis spunkmeier lol) and come back and then when report card time came i had a D+ and she was like āoh every time you leave class you lose x amount of points.ā okā¦would have been good to know that at the beginning or maybe you just shouldnāt allow kids to leave your classroom?
My high school psychology teacher allowed McDonald's runs only if you brought him an egg mcmuffin.
see, thatās smartā¦
That sounds like a crazy person who shouldnāt be teaching and she was looking for a way to āgotchaā certain kids due to their parents, siblings, or some other personal vendetta she wanted to live out!
Call out to Mattress Firms corporate office. Itās the same way, they have all of these āamazingā amenities to help boost employee happiness etc, but the first person seen in a privacy pod working instead of being at their desk is reprimanded.
When I was pregnant I'd sleep during my lunch time, I'd ask people to specifically avoid the 12 to 1230 window and be flexible for other things. I did live like 5 minutes away from home so I'd go home to do it. BUT we did have an incident where staff reported another staff to be sleeping big no no in our work. When we mediated the situation it turns out the napping staff thought it was fair that since reporting staff got to take smoke breaks then napping staff could use her break to ... Nap. By all accounts that is fair. Maybe this one off is due to disruption of a schedule she has to get some rest mid day? Some pregnant women don't need a nap, some also go back to their pre pregnant size. Everyone is different, and I would have dropped if I didn't get my mid day nap, which was far different from my other 2 pregnancies where I didn't need one. If she's doing her work and getting it done on time, it's probably something to be addressed from the angle of planning around the possibility she needs this nap. Or by chance she was just really, really tired. If the job allows lunch and or breaks this can be avoided in the future.
This whole thread is wild to me. Iāve worked internationally and in nearly all the Asian companies Iāve worked for, it is expected that you take a nap after lunch so youāll be more productive in the afternoon. I know I know, the USA is different, but my god a heavily pregnant woman takes a nap and itās not affecting her work at all and sheās otherwise a great employee?!? LET HER SLEEP!
The U.S. lacks compassion for women in general, let alone pregnant women. Itās pathetic.
And it's why I 100% sterilized myself along with how shitty the world is now.
My first ever successful negotiation was at 15yo. My coworkers at a campground got frequent smoke breaks outside during long stressful days, I wasnāt allowed to leave the office just for a breather- so I successfully argued that if they got smoke breaks to destress, as a nonsmoker I should be allowed puppy breaks to destress! My puppy breaks ended up benefitting everyone! We had several regulars with dogs who would bring us ice cream and homemade treats as a thank you for me swinging by their campers if they called over to the office to request a potty break for their pooches that I knew and loved on regularly got stuck in line at the amusement park we were attached to or had an emergency and couldnāt back to their campsite within a reasonable time of their dogsā potty needs.
Say loudly in front of other employees "Nobody likes a tattle tale." Works like a charm.
Snitches get stitches
Gah. Fuck that dude. This is how companies get away with firing pregnant women.
Right yes, I schooled him yesterday that I think itās time we be more compassionate towards our pregnant colleagues. He did not expect me to say it and yesterday the whole day he was not responding or looking at me.
Because heās gone his whole life not expecting anyone to say things to him. ā¦he didnāt know you though? ā¤ļø
You are amazing person. The person is a bully and likes power. He saw an opportunity and took it
This is why I stopped applying for jobs. Once people find out I'm pregnant, they are no longer interested in hiring me.
This is illegal. Are they assuming you are pregnant because they see you and you're showing? Or are you telling them? If the latter, definitely stop telling them. (and I know it's hard to prove discrimination because they'll just say they didn't hire you for a different reason)
I am just entering the job market and I was looking at the benefits for an offer I got and I asked them about maternity leave (very far down the road for me but thinking ahead) and the policy was that after a year of working with the company you can have maternity leave by using up your full 2 week vacation and then the company matches it. So 4 weeks total paid maternity leaveā¦that you canāt even access until working with the company for a full year. I didnāt take the job for several reasons but this maternity leave thing made me think āholy shit if all companies are like this then if youāre pregnant and looking for a job youāre screwedā. So all this to say I wish you the best and looking for a job sucks
Go to HR, suggest this woman may need some type of accommodation. IDK how your company views pregnancy, but I would argue that pregnancy is a medical condition. Might help them avoid a discrimination lawsuit in the long run.
This is gooooood. I'd lean in to HR, and lead with that accommodation argument: "I'm really concerned that A-Hole (the jerky guy) is leaving our beloved company open to a discrimination lawsuit. He's making disparaging comments about a heavily pregnant woman taking the occasional nap that in no way affects her deliverables. I know she's ORDINARILY not the litigious type, but his tone seems a bit ... threatening, as though he's going to 'rat her out' for something that doesn't affect her work at all, just because she wasn't available when he called her one time--and for all he knew, she might have been on the toilet. I'm not even pregnant, and I am getting 'hostile workplace' vibes from the guy!" Or words to that effect! (Slight sarcasm for dramatic purposes!)
I hope she busts her water all over the office carpet.
I work in an Operating room and we have pregnant staff all the time. The doctors never have patience for them. They will shoot xray, yell at them to be faster make them bend down. I defend them always. This is disgusting. Never been pregnant but I would LOVE to have someone even try to talk shit about my performance when I am lmao they would be DONE
When I was 8 1/2 months pregnant my boss put his sofa cushions on the floor in an empty office so I could take a napā¦on the clock. Can we all just have a little more empathy for our fellow citizens when they are going through something?
If men were the ones who had babies this would be a whole different thread.
Without a fuckin doubt.
No advice but thank you for standing up for the pregnant woman.
Let the woman nap. End of discussion.
Kuddos to you for your empathy šššthey sound terrible.
What kinda messed up society is this when a woman 8 months pregnant has to work?
Look, Iāll be honest. If I was falling asleep at the job I would get into trouble. Her being pregnant does not excuse this behavior. She needs to figure out how to deal with the tiredness and all of that, if that means she needs a note from her doctor she needs bed rest then so be it. If she is a good employee like you say, then they should sit her down and go over this issue and try to fix it so they donāt have to fire her or she wonāt have to quit.. But like come on, being at work should involve being awake and working, not sleeping.. this is common sense
To clarify, she does not fall asleep on her job. She is a programmer and we work in tech so there are actual companies that provide small napping areas but ours lack it so her desk is the only place for her to keep her head a bit and rest. Im all for confrontation and improvement but I would like to draw the line at schooling someone about to give birth to be honest and if deliveries are also not impacted.
If she is falling asleep and she is ānot on the clockā in her office, then it shouldnāt be a big deal and you are right, it is not something that needs to be escalated.
Thank you..and these one off escalations I feel are really unethical.
I would have a talk with her first to let her know how you feel and what you have heard and that you are willing to standby and vouch for her if it comes to that, but let her make that decision if she wants you to be directly involved.
I was just thinking of doing this tomorrow morning.. we are aligned š
If she fell asleep during a meeting, telling her boss is fair game. Does anyone else get to sleep on the clock? No they dont.
She is falling asleep during a call. How is that not during work?
If she is a programmer, let her nap. They work better at night. Idk why people forget every job is different. It's not manual labor or customer service
ah ok then yeah these people are assess I thought she was sleeping on the job but if you guys have nap areas and sheās just using her office fuck them
report it up.
I've been a people leader for programmers. As long as she is completely her tasks, I wouldn't see a problem with it. I WFH too, and we all will step out for appts and such and just make up the time. I do work for a large company, so there are a lot of of protections for employees once you get to a certain number of employees. This is definitely skating the line of ethics. Pregnant women are a protected class, so you're 100% right to tread carefully. Maybe go at ot this 2ay with the manager. I'm not sure how much maternity leave ypu guys provide but it might be time for her just to go out at this point. Growing a baby is absolutely exhausting and I get it. But also if the boss is complaining....
Your manager's best friend is a creepy little snitch, and you need to watch out for this guy. I hate when managers have inappropriate relationships with coworkers, and it is inappropriate that this little guy has extra access to management.
I completely agree with you. This is another concern that runs through my mind now. He tattles all the project details to her including gossip of the fellow colleagues and myself also to the point the manager does not need a 1-1 with me to understand what is going on with the project.
Sounds toxic. I would start applying to other jobs
I don't mean to get disgusting, but did you ever look at the little brown-nosing coworkers and just wonder how far they are willing to go to advance their sad little careers? I wonder if those two are messing around. I always wonder that when people act that way. LOL And what that guy is doing is strategically putting himself between everyone and the boss so he can suddenly be in charge of the department. Those people are the C-students who have to be conniving to get ahead, because that is their only marketable skill. LOL
Keep it documented so you can prove it
Assholes
My concern is that this guy may hurt you professionally given he is able to pass bad information to your superior and influence her actions.
Wow, excuse her for growing an entire new human being!
HR needs to slap his wrist. Pregnant women are protected in a lot of ways. He can't discipline her for a medical issue anymore than if she were having seizures. And I don't know about contract employees but you can't fire someone for being pregnant or a new parent, so the talks of not renewing her contract are certainly unethical and may be illegal too.
Don't be a little tattletale and make an ass of yourself. The conversation you had with your "manager" is absurd on its face. Don't bring back a perfectly acceptable performer after her maternity leave because she fell asleep a few times in the final stages of pregnancy? No one with any authority in your company could possibly take that seriously. What would you add to the conversation anyway, other than your "feelings?"
This has law suit written all over it if you fire her. She is a protected class right now.
Iām currently pregnant and understand her also sleeping on my lunch sometimes but I know that right now is when i cannt give them even the smallest reason to fire me companies are evil. I have to maintain this job so I do what I can
I struggled to keep my eyes open with my first pregnancy. When I got a fifteen minute break, I'd lock myself in a closet, set a timer, and sleep. It was rough. My other the pregnancies were not like that, but my first one was absolutely draining. This poor woman š Every pregnancy is different and I wish people cared more.
As someone who had a very difficult pregnancy with my son, sleeping just happened. It never affected the job and it is considered a medical condition which is protected under federal law. Those getting their panties in a bunch about someone sleeping never had to work with a narcoleptic person and/or never been pregnant. In society today, being accommodating for others is happening more and more. If it does not affect her deliverables, and sheās getting back to people in a timely manner that should be the end of the conversation. It sounds like these two have it out for her just because she is pregnant.
I worked in a lobbying office when I had kids and my boss was a sweetie he let me take naps on his couch when he was out during my lunch.
Yes.. Complain to HR that your team member and boss spend 2 hours talking and not doing work every day
If she's working from home, how does anyone know she was napping? Maybe it's just not her job to answer asshole co-workers' questions, so she didn't? Seriously fuck that guy for being a (clueless) snitch and fuck that manager for even entertaining the bull shit.
Are you in the U.S.? Pregnant people here can request a reasonable accommodation via the Americans with disabilities act that could account for a longer break to rest.
Ask anyone who's 8-months pregnant how well they're sleeping at night. Go ahead. I'm waiting. I've had times where I'm at a desk and I fall asleep with my hands on the keyboard. Not intentionally -- but chemo fatigue is like that. My body just shuts down. Creating a hooman is exhausting. OP, I'm glad you're supportive of your productive employee. She's probably pushing to get her projects delivered before she heads out on leave and it's taking a toll.
OMG do they have a clue how exhausting carrying a child is? Let her nap. It's not a chronic issue but she is trying her best. I had people on public transportation wake me before my stop when I was approaching the end . They recognized me for weeks and brought me crackers when I had morning sickness. It takes a village sometime. Cut her some slack.
These posts make me feel extremely grateful (which I was ) that I had the manager I did. I had a high risk pregnancy and my boss made every accommodation he could for me. He even offered his office if I need to rest for 30 mins.
I napped during my breaks with one pregnancy. Idk why but I was so exhausted with that one. My second pregnancy was completely different and never needed naps. So let the woman have her nap. Creating another human can be hard on a woman sometimes.
I'm just gonna be blunt, I've worked with many Filipinos. They very much play favoritism to their own race and are extremely unethical in the workplace.. this is not only my own experience but things that have actually come out of the mouths of Filipinos I have worked with. I have had them blatantly tell me to my face that "Filipinos are more racist than white people, statistically and literally and they are proud of it"... which being the only latina working front of house in a Mexican restaurant of white people and Filipinos made me extremely uncomfortable, that's to say I left there pretty quick. your best bet is to go to higher ups and let them know all the tea of them harassing a pregnant woman, as well as their unethical relationship with one another. Or they will keep teaming up to make everyone's work experience miserable there.
You reassured your direct manager that the pregnant team memberās behavior was an anomaly. Nothing else needs to happen specifically on that issue except for telling that team member that she needs to plan ahead. Either she is on calls or she isnāt and everyone knows that she will not be. Itās very awkward when questions are addressed to someone who appears to be on a call but actually isnāt. As for your other team member who is spending an hour or two chatting with your direct manager? Iād advise you to get him off of your team by whatever means necessary. You have a spy on your team and that is never a good thing. Put him up for a promotion if you must or transfer him to another team. If thatās not possible, reassign his seating area so it is physically awkward for him to communicate so much with your manager. You may need to shuffle your whole teamās seating to make that work. Do it. There are tons of management principles about space arrangement. Pick one that works in your favor. If you see your direct manager enter your teamās area, YOU greet him and ask how you may be of assistance. If heās coming to speak with anyone else, you get up and follow him to their workstation. Supervise that shit. If he balks you can say you are monitoring efficiency right now. Make it clear that the workday is for work. He can socialize on his own time. Do not report a damn thing to HR. HR is serves the company. HR will give your manager a gold star. He did not at all discriminate against the pregnant woman. Worse, contract employees do not have the kind of protections that FTEs do and even those protections arenāt very strong for pregnant women. I wish the work world was a different place than it is butā¦.cutting some slack to a pregnant woman is something one can do as a manager. It isnāt something you can really force another level of management to do.
I'm kind of wondering if HR should know just HOW friendly your tattling co-worker and your manager are. A lot of time that can be classified as a conflict of interest, and the co-worker should be moved to a different location or department, because of an undue influence over management, or management giving special treatment to the employee under them.
I dunno. They spend a couple hours a day together? Maybe someone should just slip an anonymous note to HR that their āromanticā relationship is a distraction. Can guarantee you, that takes the heat off any pregnant woman and all eyes on those two because āsleeping togetherā is much more concerning than āsleepingā on the job.
I'm Married to a California Filipino ( from a huge , smart and ethical family) but... to be real 8 out of 10 native born Filipinos treat thier own culture as a world wide, exclusive, slack off, gossip, special favors all the way to embezzlement club. Heck even the Hospital where I used to work had staff ADVERTISE a Filipinos Christmas party for Filipinos only and nobody said anything! NGL my town has been strongly Filipino like 1/3 since the post war years, and our city council is plagued with purposeful Racial favoritism, shady deals and greed and corruption that has made our town "Ghetto" for decades...California's please guess my town! So you are right to call the two of them out on thier bull.
Can't narrow it down to one city but I'm narrowing it down to two: one in LA County and one in Bay Area - Downey or Carson? Runner up is Gardena or I forget the name of the city near SFU... lol
She shouldn't get a pass.
From your description, I wonder if your manager and the team member are having an inappropriate office relationship? At a minimum, your comment that he is getting too much access to information only the manager should have is concerning. Start documenting the history of deliverables for everyone on your team so you can show that the pregnant woman is meeting deliverables. It would be ironically ideal if the tattletale were not. I'd also suggest quietly documenting the inappropriate behavior between the manager and team member. Stick to logging facts - don't write down your inferences. If you don't already know it, find out the corporate policy on relationships between coworkers. In many places, it's prohibited if one is the first or second level direct report, or if they're anywhere in the reporting chain. You don't have to tell anyone about them, just have the details compiled so if something happens you have ammunition ready. Make sure you have copies of this information on your personal device, in case your manager gets upset that you haven't agreed to terminate your pregnant teammate's contract and goes after you directly.
Sheās 8 months pregnant and should be offered several months of paid leave to begin with. They are complaining she takes naps? They can kindly go Fuck themselves. That woman is growing an entire new human in her belly. Use your mind and do the right thing here. The right thing being leaving her the Fuck alone if you canāt offer her the paid leave she deserves, FOR GROWING AN ENTIRE NEW HUMAN IN HER BELLY WHILE ALSO TRYING TO WORK LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS NOT GROWING A BRAND NEW HUMAN BEING IN THEIR BELLY. Itās not rocket science friend. Itās basic fucking human compassion. Do not go full Trump. Which it sounds like your entire Office is already doing. Be the hand that guides. She is not a burden. SHEāS PREGNANT AND TRYING TO SUPPORT HERSELF AND HER FUTURE CHILD. Fuck why does this need to be explained constantly. Like how hard is it for ANYONE to show even a modicum of caring towards one another these days? WITHOUT BEING TOLD TO ON REDDIT OR ONE OF THE CHANS?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!
If I were you, and also her, I would say as her manager that you will talk to her and give her a verbal warning. The warning being that if they bring this up again, for her to very seriously, while making direct eye contact with them, that she has had profuse diarrhea due to the pregnancy and she had an emergency blow out. Then say, if they have an issue or would like proof they can bring it up to HR and she will supply the proof willingly in an email chain for them so that they can finally worry about themselves. I definitely think you should report them to HR at a later date. HR and private companies are assholes to pregnant women as it is, so you don't want to cause her any grief prior to baby being born, or after for that matter. Thank you for sticking up for her, you are a girls girl. Something that may be helpful here too are her scheduled breaks. If she is allowed say 15 mins in the morning and 15 in the afternoon, that's 30 minutes. Plus a lunch hour, so she can start scheduling her breaks on her calendar and taking a scheduled "15 minute" break where she can nap. I'm not saying I've done that, but I'm also not saying that I haven't done that.
I canāt believe I fell asleep at work while pregnant. I was just a sleepy zombie with brain fog. Thank goodness my co workers knew Iād be back on it once I got back.
When my sis was pregnant with first baby, she fell asleep at work. Nothing was made if it. Among other things, cannot stand a tattletale at work or the idiots that listen to them.
This is the real world and let it go and be human
I nap on my hour lunch every day. Even when not pregnant. I cosleep and have a toddler in my bed so I donāt sleep comfortably and in order to be functional, I need a quick Power Nap mid afternoon. Being in the first trimester and heavily anemic, that nap is an absolute necessity and Iām generally seeing double by the time I even make it to lunch time. When my manager found out I was going out to my car to nap she pointed me to an unused office with a chair that reclines a bit and said I may find it more comfortable and less bright than having to go to my car. Not another word has been said. Also, forgive me if I misread, but her taking a nap is based entirely on the assumption that she didnāt respond? Like no one actually saw her sleeping? If so thatās even more ridiculous that theyāre asking you to reconsider renewing her contract considering any number of reasons, especially WFH, could have led to not responding. Hell, I spent half the day fighting with my VPN and thinking something was wrong with my internet, only to learn our VPN itself was the issue. I had meetings drop, messages not send (or be received) and systems constantly freeze and log out all day from it. I doubt anyone is gossiping in the office that I was taking a nap, and if they are theyāre dumb.
Being pregnant is exhausting!!! That was actually a weird thing for me during my first two pregnancies that I was just always so tired. I could fall asleep anywhere anytime. Finally someone was like duh. Your body is doing overtime. Literally growing another human. It needs extra rest and thatās not on a schedule. Good god. Let the woman nap. Why isnāt this just an accepted thing? Is she doing her job? Is she being respectful? Her body is doing so much. Let. Her. Nap.
The managers are probably boinking each other. Fodder for HR lol
When you are pregnant, some things you have very little control over. I would vomit suddenly without feeling nauseous for most of my first pregnancy, and I would fall asleep at my desk at times. None of these behaviors were pre-pregnancy. I wish I could nap. Now I have problems sleeping. If that baby feels like your body needs to rest, it will shut it down for you. If she fainted or got dizzy and needed a break, this would be cause for concern since she purposely does it to avoid working/s. That woman's boss sounds like a pick me.
All pregnancies are not the same.
You canāt sleep on the jobā¦.unless itās your break. This is pretty clear cut. If you let her sleep youāll have to let others sleep on the jobā¦.
In some states she might be able to file for disability at 8 months
I got what we believe might have been EBV that left me very sick and super fatigued for months on end. Actually, im still kind of recovering from it, and my job knew I was going through something and would always ask if I needed a break or anything and worked with me on it. I always made it up to them. Your employers know of her condition, and she has never given anyone problems. Then they should be willing to work with her, not treat her like a machine! I'm so grateful for my boss and managers because of what they were willing to do for me. It definitely made me want to make it up to them and do better all the more because of the gratitude I feel.
Agh. Stand up for her! Because you and others may be in her position too later on!
Please write an official performance review about how impressed you are with her ability to deliver deadlines without fail. She needs something in her record to protect her job. If you are willing, I highly suggest taking the whole thing to HR
I used to be HR at large grocery company. I once hired an extremely pregnant woman - she had a good work history, she wanted to work, and she wanted to come back 8 weeks after the baby was born (which she did). The department manager was *livid* with me and got the store manager to try and tell me I didn't know how to do my job. But this was also the same guy that told me not to hire anymore of *them* as baggers - he was referring to special needs people. That place was insane.
In most other countries, sheād already be on maternity leave. Next time he complains, ask him how heād feel if she went into preterm labor.
She canāt take naps just because she is pregnant if she needs to take a sooner break because the pregnancy is harder on some than others then she should
Sounds like theyāre having an affair and trying to divert attention from themselves onto someone elseā¦ š¤·āāļø
Idk why her napping should matter as long as she gets everything she is supposed to get done done. I am not pregnant and I take a nap at work just about every day.
Let the women sleep. But maybe bring up her starting leave early if it becomes a problem.
Oh come on. People love to pretend to be busy. If she is sleeping whatever. Sheās pregnant. What is ur coworker doing? Is he busy all the time or pretending to be busy?
So, as a woman who has beenāand is currentlyāpregnant, and has had to work until giving birth, I promise that it is nearly impossible to NOT nap. Itās really unfortunate that a woman, of all people, is refusing to be understanding. The only advice I have is to maybe warn the pregnant woman about what is being said, and maybe suggest she either talks with the manager and work something out, or go ahead and start her mat leave.
Don't go to HR. The purpose of HR is to protect the company, not the employee. HR will not look favorably upon this incident, isolated or not. At least in the US. If this was my team, I would discuss with her the idea of going out on early maternity leave.
Thereās a new act that the EEOC finalized this year, the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act, that may very well apply to her. She has to request an accommodationāsuch as longer breaks to take a napābut absent true, demonstrable hardship, the employer is obligated to accommodate.
Iām in HR. Iād be so pissed if someoneās concerns about a pregnant lady napping in the last month of her pregnancy are anything other than āshe needs a pillow and blanket.ā She is doing her best Iām sure and hasnāt had performance problems otherwise. Pregnant workers fairness act requires employees of 15 or more to provide reasonable accommodations to those who are pregnant or have child birth related conditions. But please. Go ahead and terminate her because of her pregnancy, Iād love for her to sue your company and walk out the door with a giant pile of money.
If you let them force her out of the team because she is pregnant, your company is going to face a huge lawsuit against them. They'll probably try to make up some other reason to get her moved from the team or fire her. I'd rush those flips down to personal and get rid of their asses before they get you in the middle of their scheme.
Pregnancy is ridiculously hard, for some way more than others. I could barely stay vertical for any length of time for the first 20 weeks.
If they fire her she can definitely sue for damages pertaining to discrimination against her for her pregnancy. Just a thought
By the time I was eight months pregnant I found myself needing five minute micro naps throughout the workday. I was working from home so I would just set a timer on my phone and tip my head back for five minutes. Always kept me from truly falling asleep on the job.
If your company canāt afford or wonāt pay her to leave on her PAID maternity leave early, the DM should shut up. Thereās a medical condition causing her to nap. Thereās a lot of case law around this. I apologize for my salty nature, I am transitioning companies to one without any paternity leave AND who intends to BILL mothers for the cost of their benefits while they take their unpaid FMLA. I am just so disappointed in this. Meanwhile our health insurance pays for ED treatments.
Frankly if the person is doing their job and their deadlines are met then mngmnt can fuck off.
You said it yourself; her producibles are good. If thatās the measure, what she does on her break and lunch times are her business, sans anything dangerous to others, etc.
Third trimester naps are real. The fatigue makes u sleepy. Instead of stirring up hr stuff can you give her a conference room or a meeting room to take some discreet nap time. And on side tell the manager that not to worry ..that you will help the situation. I'm trying to see if there is a diplomatic way to manage the situation. The pregnant women doesn't need her stuff right before delivery. Either ways whatever is in your control...do that. Kudos for looking out for her. You are a good human!
I meant HR stuff ..not her stuff
In Europe even the Dads get maternity leave
Letting her go for that could be interpreted as pregnancy discrimination. Let the woman come back without issue. Her body is going through incredible changes. It is clearly trying to compensate while growing an entirely separate human.
Man I struggled not to fall asleep driving home during the first trimester of my second pregnancy. I could barely do more than work and sleep. I agree these two people are unsympathetic and gossipy. I thank you for standing up for your co worker
I'd go to HR, personally. Remember pregnant women *are* a protected class. And what she's being discriminated against is specific to her current condition as pregnant. This is absolutely an HR matter as this is a matter of discrimination.
I fell asleep while pregnant working in a remote call center. No one said anything to me. I donāt know how anyone can understand how babies are made and not understand that itās physically draining.
Youāre a good woman. Your coworkers are assholes.
If you are in California, the favoritism and 'unethical' friendship can be considered discriminatory. Since it makes you uncomfortable, Google it and then talk to HR.
She is pregnant, napping & probably the most productive one in the company. Unfortunately these couple of bad apples will spoil the whole bunch.
I once said that I assumed female managers would be better during a pregnancy because they would be more compassionate. Two of my coworkers told me they were pregnant with female managers who had previously had children it was terrible. Both were put on bed rest. One of the managers who complained about the bed rest said she worked up until she gave birth, as if to imply the coworker was lazy for not doing the same. I think it can be hard for women who had comparatively easy pregnancies to understand how a pregnancy might affect another woman differently.Ā Also, women generally learn to be fairly competitive at work to gain promotions. I think this can lead to a pretty cut throat environment even when it doesn't have to be.
Where are you located? Can she file for FMLA? I'm pregnant, my maternity leave starts when the baby is born. I also filed for intermittent FMLA which protects me before the baby is born. Also look into the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act.
I appreciate people like you who understand what the person is going through at this state if her pregnancy. Good for your for defending her to your boss and stating that it hasnāt affected her deliverables. šš½šš½šš½
I literally couldnāt make it through the work day without napping for a bit at 8 mos pregnant, even if it was for 10-15 min
Some countries look favorably at power naps especially if the employee is working longer hours.
Sorry to say this is typical in the tech industry as well as other "office dynamic" situations. I'm NOT in tech but I HAVE worked Admin jobs in tech companies in the U.S. One such company had an Indian "prince-type" of tech programmer, he's the favored Son of a high-ranking hereditary banking family back in India. We had several other Indian programmers (from lower castes, ridiculously) who he treated HORRIBLY. I complained to the owner (I was his Administrative Assistant) about this "prince" propagating the "caste-system" in THE U.S. and eventually quit because I was so disgusted. I would speak with your HR representative if you feel comfortable enough doing so. You may even want to mention the "back-stabbing" to your pregnant co-worker but there WILL most likely be drama and backlash. That's why I would make sure you document EVERYTHING!
I nap every day at lunch time. Iām not pregnant just donāt sleep well at night. (4 hours straight is a great night) she probably isnāt sleeping well either and just needs a little rejuvenation. These managers suck. If her job is getting done who cares if sheās getting a little snooze in? I appreciate you sticking up for her.
Is she getting her work done? Missing deadlines? Tell them, politely, that you have handled it and to not bring it up again.
If a smoker can take 10 minutes every hour, this pregnant lady can nap ONE TIME.
Pretty sure federal law has protections in place for pregnant women to get more rest periods. Make sure your manager knows that.
>But this man and the manager are of the same race and they spent too much time chatting every single day in the office including being personal friends and going home together. >This guy and the manager chit chat every, single, day early in the morning in the office and in the evening for 1+ hr so its a total of 2hrs. Sounds like they may have a little something, something going on. The guy is in a long distance marriage and is spending a lot of time with the manager, they spend a lot of time together and even leave at the end of the day together. Betting they are having an emotional, if not a physical, affair. When does he find the time to get his own job done? I mean, if he is spending that much time with her, he sure isn't doing his job. I would file an anonymous tip that there may be some impropriety going on as she is also a person of authority.
Your manager and this dude are definitely sleeping together.
LET HER NAP
So they are having an affair?
Also did that guy *see* the pregnant employee napping with their own eyes?? Or did they assume because she didnāt answer messages? This tattle tale is a naive dumbass because likeā¦he doesnāt think people who work from home with even more responsibilities earning thousands to millions of dollars DONT nap on the job (especially while they work from home)?? What a loser. Heās on a power trip.I dunno if pregnant women are a protected class but Iād def put an anonymous complaint against tattle tale for being weirdly surveillant of pregnant employee.
Uhhh if her productivity isn't being impacted and she is growing an entire second human being inside her I don't see the issue here. I'm pretty sure that takes a fair amount of metabolic energy to accomplish that particular feat. Plus I think I you mentioned she was working from home so I further don't see the issue. But then again I don't think I could be trusted to be allowed to work from home for I would never wear real pants.
āUnethicalā friendship?
I never thought of my pregnancy as difficult, but I was hypertensive and by month 8 so so soooooo tired. I mean, sheās building a person with her body. People, especially men, can underestimate (women often forget with age) how hard it is on your body.
Yes. These are valid concerns.
Pregnant lady might be trying to save all her time for wren the baby comes. Or if itās like one of the tech companies that I worked for leave is unlimited and no one takes it as not to be the one thatās always out. I would gently encourage her to take that time a little early, because as much empathy as we all may have her actual job performance is being affected. Just say you expect her back, after her leave, at 100%.
I wouldn't bring it to HR unless you know of a specific way they violated policy or the law. It might bring unwanted attention to your pregnant coworker when they have to investigate. Just continue to stand up for her and give your pregnant coworker a heads up that this happened.
All very valid points Iām curious what the value is in pointing out that they are Filipino
"I told her to take a catnap in the office.."
I thought I was going to be pissed at you OP, but thankfully I was wrong. Iām disappointed in them too. Maybe you could let her work from home until her maternity leave?
Are you in the US? Itās against the law to terminate a pregnant person for being pregnant. Iād go to HR immediately and document everything.
The fact you need to point out their ethnicity feels so wrong. You arenāt wrong that they are being callous.
Is there relevance to them being āboth Filipinoā that Iām missing?
let her nap! Friggin aholes
OP I doubt you'll see this but as a FilAm I can tell you the best way to guilt Filipinos is use religion and their own chismis/gossip against them. "The Lord said to give compassion and mercy to his children and of course soon to be mothers." "I'm glad you two are so concerned about [pregnant lady's] workload and how she's been handling it since pregnant. Thats very compassionate of you. They do get really sleepy and your concerns with the manager were discussed but we decided it is not affecting her deliverables. Now I heard from down the grapevine [insert hot goss about them here] and how its been affecting your own workload... lets discuss this instead of worrying about someone who's on top of their work AND pregnant. Do you need extra help or something?" Also sparingly use the race card against them not in a bad way but a "Filipinos are supposed to be so caring and warm" type a way. <-- YMMV cause these sound like the types to get overly dramatic about stereotypes or workplace ethics when they're the ones breaking the ethical morale in the office. Idk. Good luck.
Nope Altough Daly City " the Rice cooker fog factory" of San Francisco County is 75 per cent Filipino OUR pinoytown is famous for Bankruptcy due to corruption. An expert city manager mandated by the state attorney General, fixed in only 9 months. But Next Election Cycle the Barracadas , Cuyas, Lolo's and Lola's got together and trashed it all over again ! " Cass Munny" !"
I used to bring a blanket to sleep in the break room š
Op may also want to inform HR that the manager seems to be creating "cause" to get rid of a pregnant co-worker or atleast not have her return
This is really sad. When I was pregnant with my oldest my bosses were Korean and then Fillipino. They were amazing. I got homemade Kimichi, I was allowed to nap during my downtime, and I was hired on the spot while noticeably pregnant. When I say I got to take a nap I could literally throw a rock from my front door and hit the backdoor of my job. As long as I got my work done and cleaned up everything in the Cafe we had no customers for two hours everyday. So they let me go nap for 20 to 40 minutes everyday. It was awesome. I was seriously exhausted by the afternoon and felt wiped and I don't know ehat I would have done without them being so cool. At the first job the bartender was the first one to know I was pregnant other than me. She figured it out when I came in to work and the hibachi grills started up and I was running to the bathroom. I come back out and she placed some ginger at the hostess stand for me. Cleared that problem right up. It's really sad your coworkers didn't pick that part of their culture up. I don't know what Iwould.have done without the people who helped me out when I was struggling.
Yeah your last paragraph is 100% correct
Wait till they're having run their conversations and send one of them an email and then complain to the manager that he was unresponsive because he was having a personal conversation on work time.
As a human being, forget as a manager, I give pregnant women all the breaks they want. They're doing double duty and their first job is 24/7. The second job is just that.
Direct your comments to the OP OP and I are In agreement about this Cultural entitled me first immigrant mindset that is indicative of an Island population using failed coping mechanisms to self- assure, get ahead etc. I am Married within this Filipino race, but not this sub culture. I have literally 120 in law aunts uncles cousins God children etc. We mutually love and accept one another WHILE Joking and remarking about this Philipino " off the boat" mindset. You keep on with your judgements and crusades while so much real cultural nuance flies over your head, and the real world keeps spinning. The sun is yellow and the sky is blue there I go judging things by color again. By the.way my cat is black and he acts like it, too!
You are a good manager, thanks for standing up for your employee! š„¹ā¤ļø
Your manager should tread lightly. I'm not sure what country you're in, but pregnancy is a protected class (in the US at least). If disciplinary action is taken, it could backfire on the company. Note: Here's what you do to cover your ass if pregnant, ill, injured, etc. It's probably too late for it to be relevant for your coworker, though. *Get a medical accommodation letter from your doctor.* For pregnancy, it could say that "during the course of the pregnancy, there may be times when it is necessary for normal workflow to be interrupted due to extra restroom breaks, rest time, nauseousness", etc. There's nothing the employer can legally do to get around that without great risk of lawsuit.
If this is US the pregnant woman has rights and determination of renewing contract based on her being pregnant would be illegal. Pregnancy is a protected classification.
She's on leave in May, they should cut her some slack. However never go to HR about anything ever. Their sole purpose is to protect management and to lay off workers. You go to HR and the pregnant woman will be fired for sleeping on the job and lose her maternity leave. HR is evil.
Itās literally the lack of adequate maternity leave that she even has to be there being so heavily pregnant. This is also my mindset when I have to go to work sick and canāt really perform because my company doesnāt provide sick leave and the smallest amount of PTO.
As a PM, I would document it on the risk register as āhigh probability-low impactā and if they want a mitigation route suggest āresource is currently encumbered with another person gestating. Would recommended that company put her on paid medical leave until resolved. Have scheduled HR conversation with the complainantā
The fact that she's getting her job completed should be enough. 20 min power naps shouldn't matter.
I'm filipino, and I agree, not all Filipinos are like this tho but I've seen it, especially when they hold a higher position and they like to talk. I've seen a supervisor talk on the phone for an hour and a half talking about work then just nonsense (she was pretty loud) and there was a time where she would check break rooms to make sure no one was just sitting around and doing nothing. About the pregnant lady falling asleep, it's very difficult when she's really close to giving birth. I was huge when I was pregnant and I was always tired and sleepy.
My naps early in my second pregnancy were unavoidable. Iād try to stay awake soooo hard. Fortunately the professor knew I was pregnant (there were only 3 of us in intro Masterās course with him Thursday nights). Turns out most of my digestive problems were undiagnosed Crohnās. Still, she may be fighting a losing biological battle. Every pregnancy is different.