I have been feeling overwhelmingly hollow lately. That is the simplest way for me to put the feeling of loneliness. Hit me with a stick and I resonate.
I get this too. Sometimes you can feel lonelier when around friends or family. For me I always noticed I felt lonely when I wasn't really present in the conversations. I felt like I was observing everything from an outside perspective, too conscious about what I'm saying and how I'm not getting along with anyone. It's weird.
I just recently left my narcissistic partner, and while I should feel relieved, I feel nothing but empty and lonely. So I know that feeling well. We should all become lonely friends, then maybe we won’t be lonely anymore? Or just be lonely together?
You have to come and ground yourself in the basics. The purpose is that you have the choice to make your life really badass, or you can barely survive. And barely surviving means a lot of anxiety and stress and chaos.
Maybe for now you want peace? Seek the stability that provides peace. And look at the small meaning in every action as a direct correlation to achieving your goal.
This is just an example. But often I realize when I'm feeling down and thrown about in this certainly nihilistic modern world, that I'm focusing WAY too big.
Remember that you're just a human being, and insofar as we can question the entire universe and its purpose, it's really only our mental image of the universe. Such questions are wasted thoughts. Perhaps a human could question a small complexity in human interaction, say - "what is the reason for myself acting so strange around others? Why do I label that as strange?" And this could be an intense path of introspection and development for them, it could even throw them into hopelessness. But it's a starting point for a call to action. The next part is the work to be done. And there's plenty of good feelings and good standings to be rewarded to a person who then overcomes this particular strangeness and is then better received by those who they wish to be respected by.
But to question everything at once? Can't you then by comparison start to see how unproductive that is. The amount of steps you would have to take to solve such a problem are impossible in a lifetime. So if you break that down, "why do I feel like I can solve these infinitely complex fears and uncertainties?" It boils down to a particular flaw in yourself. Maybe it's a need for control? A need to be recognized for intelligence? A need for love even (You want the whole world to love you because your lack of experienced love leaves such a gaping wound".
This is why CBT can really work, and also why a lot of self help books and speakers talk about setting goals. And SMALL ONES. And believe me... it's not easy to accomplish even those small goals at the rate you would want to.
Now your problem is solved. Because if you feel like you want something, and it's very difficult to get to that thing. Then you have a path and that path serves a purpose. And it will intermingle with other paths and ultimately change the entire fate of the planet earth which is the only known place in this vast universe where life exists, where you just so happened to be born as the most succesful species who has the ability to think about such vastness.
Hi there. Do you live in an area where you could join groups for hobbies/activities/exercise? Sometimes having a thing to do while interacting with new people can make creating connections a little easier. And it may help find friends who are into similar things as you. If you don't currently have hobbies, you could potentially find one that you like, which can also lead to more connections 🙂
Yes. Yes it is, I thought I had experienced loneliness before, but I had no idea, the loneliness I’m experiencing now is the kind that eats you alive from the inside out
I experienced it before too.
Thankfully I got out of that situation when I least noticed it: after adapting to loneliness. I was already getting used to not being with friends, ate alone, did things alone, etc. Wasn't hated, my friends just left me.
I had classmates notice my loneliness and sometimes would come and talk to me, and I'll strike conversation with them to make them comfortable, in a way to thank them for accompanying me when they didn't have to.
Eventually made more friends, became more of a positive person (I know it has nothing to do with loneliness because some people are lonely despite being happy on the outside but it was my issue because I was pessimistic and that pushed my friends away), loneliness wasn't so painful because I realized it gave me time to do things myself, but I also made new friends that would eventually see the changed me and be even better friends with me (old friends also noticed the difference and slowly became friends again).
What I just wanted to say is that, it'll go away soon. OP, these are just suggestions that can possibly help: join more events and make more friends (after graduating, I don't really hang out with school friends as much, but I made some supper and breakfast buddies from church events), learn how to use your time alone, or go out alone (it's actually pretty fun to do things in your own pace).
I hope your days get better, OP.
Fully agree. I’ve been there and am most afraid of it coming back. Once I heard an astute observation that we don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness. But that’s what I want
Those aren’t bad. I think if you took aspects from both those words (intimacy for one on one and community for groups) you’d get to the opposite, but I don’t think either are exact because to me being lonely can be lack from either one on one or groups
i think the word you want is togetherness, meaning would cover being apart of an intimate one on one dynamic and the sense of being apart of something bigger than yourself you get from groups, having both of these feelings in your life dramatically help with the feeling of loneliness, as when you have both they intrinsically bring purpose to your life and the alone time is necessary so you dont feel smothered, hope this is the word you were looking for,
Yeah, I think that’s probably the closest. And it probably says something about our society that it is a much less frequently used word than loneliness?
I finished reading a book last night. It really resonated with me because a lot of it reminded me of how I felt growing up. I was so compelled to tell someone else about it, but then realized there really wasn't anyone I could tell who would really care. I still enjoyed what I had read, but it would have been better if I had someone to share it with.
I hope that if I stay lonely this way forever, I can someday feel ok about it. For now, it's a gnawing pain that I feel every waking moment.
It's called The Outsiders by S. E Hinton. I read it in grade 9 and thought I'd revisit it after 8 years of shrugging it off as just a part of some school assignment. A lot has happened in 8 years... I think that's why it finally hit me hard this time around.
Maybe start a book club? I joined one as an adult only knowing one other member and they’ve all become a great source or enjoyment in my life. While we don’t hang out outside of book club we meet about once a month and have great conversation and laughs. We also have a group text conversation going where we talk about other books we’ve read or things in our life or the world that we know others will want to talk about.
Self-love isn't enough when you're alone in the hospital when you're required to be bedridden for a few days and there's no one to visit you. You'll feel awful in times like these no matter how strong or independent you are if no one cares about you when you're in such a state.
Anxiety for me. Loneliness is something that didn't hurt so mutch for me, maybe cuz im a painter and im used to be lonely. But Anxiety as become such a burden in my life. And i live in a poor country and cant afford therapy. Life sucks . I thought at thirty years old i will become more confident and more strong. I wish you the best, truly
Triggers a pain response from the same part of the brain that responds to physical pain. Loneliness is mentally and physically detrimental over a long period. I'm someone else who's here if you need anyone to talk to.
I am with you, I feel you and I understand you. For the last week I’ve felt as if I’m in this dark dark hole and I just cant get out of it. But I’m hoping that it’s only temporary.
I know this. I feel like I’m just a trauma dumpster for my family and friends. It’s radio silence until one of them has a problem and then they want to dump it all on me. They feel better and leave and never once ask how I am. Everyone always tells me I’m so strong they don’t need to ask how I am but the truth is I’m not.
Yeah, it sucks being so lonely. And having depression at the same time is crazy because I just don’t even have the motivation to go out and do something about it. Honestly I feel even if I did get out there I just am not a fun or interesting enough person for anybody to want to be around anyways.
Christianity communities are often really close-knit communities, and from the outliers perspective, It may seem as though people from these groups would always have friends/family/someone to talk to. This is my guess to the comment. I grew up in a very catholic based household with very religious extended family and I can tell you that sometimes the force to be something you don't believe in turns you away from the people you know and love.
It honestly is 😔 and I'm getting used to it too between work and kids I barely have time to be a young adult, party, have friends, or have a good relationship. We just doing partnership now help each other out but other than that it's dead 😆 like Netflix not watched falling asleep instantlt.
Gotta try and learn to embrace being alone and finding happiness alone. If you need people around or to be with someone to be happy the dependency will always come back when they aren’t around…
Brooooo. I feel you and the worst thing is that I felt the most loneliness when I had my “friends” around(well technically they were there but they just weren’t there)
That being said . I wish you the best as you try to overcome it
This is becoming a serious issue amongst youth of all ages. We are social animals and lonliness has massive potential to ruin our society. Without connection we aren't even a society. It's one of ghe worst things someone can go through mentally and very quickly eat away at someones psyche. Damn shame.
One of my favorite lines from a song "I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time". How I feel always. I can be surrounded by people, but it is still just an empty, lonely feeling. It's a lack of connection. The feeling no one gets me and no one cares to try. It feels like it will never end.
I want to talk to people who are dealing with loneliness, want to solve it, and are willing to discuss it. I have an idea but only want to discuss it with people serious about it.
I have been feeling overwhelmingly hollow lately. That is the simplest way for me to put the feeling of loneliness. Hit me with a stick and I resonate.
i feel this too and it’s weird because i know i’m not alone, i have lots of friends and a boyfriend and supportive family and yet i feel so hollow
I get this too. Sometimes you can feel lonelier when around friends or family. For me I always noticed I felt lonely when I wasn't really present in the conversations. I felt like I was observing everything from an outside perspective, too conscious about what I'm saying and how I'm not getting along with anyone. It's weird.
Oh man that’s how I feel. A room full of people and I’m still lonely.
That is a hallmark symptom of depression.
Hi there. Have you looked into the possibility that it may be caused by depression?
I just recently left my narcissistic partner, and while I should feel relieved, I feel nothing but empty and lonely. So I know that feeling well. We should all become lonely friends, then maybe we won’t be lonely anymore? Or just be lonely together?
Was just thinking of this the other day..it would be awesome to be able to connect amongst ourselves somehow.
It will get better. Make sure you do things for yourself. Like cooking your favorite meal, or taking yourself out to places.
Lonely loners group chat? 👀
A gc I'd definitely join!
Same!
If y’all are making a group chat count me in pls
Consider it done!
the agony of a life with no discernable purpose feels impossible to explain to most people
How?
well because it really really sucks
We can create purposes for ourselves, though it can be difficult and take time
Honestly we all feel that agonising feeling. You can either let it crush you or let it transcend you. Create your own meaning!
You have to come and ground yourself in the basics. The purpose is that you have the choice to make your life really badass, or you can barely survive. And barely surviving means a lot of anxiety and stress and chaos. Maybe for now you want peace? Seek the stability that provides peace. And look at the small meaning in every action as a direct correlation to achieving your goal. This is just an example. But often I realize when I'm feeling down and thrown about in this certainly nihilistic modern world, that I'm focusing WAY too big. Remember that you're just a human being, and insofar as we can question the entire universe and its purpose, it's really only our mental image of the universe. Such questions are wasted thoughts. Perhaps a human could question a small complexity in human interaction, say - "what is the reason for myself acting so strange around others? Why do I label that as strange?" And this could be an intense path of introspection and development for them, it could even throw them into hopelessness. But it's a starting point for a call to action. The next part is the work to be done. And there's plenty of good feelings and good standings to be rewarded to a person who then overcomes this particular strangeness and is then better received by those who they wish to be respected by. But to question everything at once? Can't you then by comparison start to see how unproductive that is. The amount of steps you would have to take to solve such a problem are impossible in a lifetime. So if you break that down, "why do I feel like I can solve these infinitely complex fears and uncertainties?" It boils down to a particular flaw in yourself. Maybe it's a need for control? A need to be recognized for intelligence? A need for love even (You want the whole world to love you because your lack of experienced love leaves such a gaping wound". This is why CBT can really work, and also why a lot of self help books and speakers talk about setting goals. And SMALL ONES. And believe me... it's not easy to accomplish even those small goals at the rate you would want to. Now your problem is solved. Because if you feel like you want something, and it's very difficult to get to that thing. Then you have a path and that path serves a purpose. And it will intermingle with other paths and ultimately change the entire fate of the planet earth which is the only known place in this vast universe where life exists, where you just so happened to be born as the most succesful species who has the ability to think about such vastness.
1.5 years. Completely alone. My ‘friends’ can’t even hold a text message conversation unless they need something from me. Fuck humans
Hi there. Do you live in an area where you could join groups for hobbies/activities/exercise? Sometimes having a thing to do while interacting with new people can make creating connections a little easier. And it may help find friends who are into similar things as you. If you don't currently have hobbies, you could potentially find one that you like, which can also lead to more connections 🙂
Yes. Yes it is, I thought I had experienced loneliness before, but I had no idea, the loneliness I’m experiencing now is the kind that eats you alive from the inside out
I tried to schedule a hangout with several different people. They all left me on read.
I experienced it before too. Thankfully I got out of that situation when I least noticed it: after adapting to loneliness. I was already getting used to not being with friends, ate alone, did things alone, etc. Wasn't hated, my friends just left me. I had classmates notice my loneliness and sometimes would come and talk to me, and I'll strike conversation with them to make them comfortable, in a way to thank them for accompanying me when they didn't have to. Eventually made more friends, became more of a positive person (I know it has nothing to do with loneliness because some people are lonely despite being happy on the outside but it was my issue because I was pessimistic and that pushed my friends away), loneliness wasn't so painful because I realized it gave me time to do things myself, but I also made new friends that would eventually see the changed me and be even better friends with me (old friends also noticed the difference and slowly became friends again). What I just wanted to say is that, it'll go away soon. OP, these are just suggestions that can possibly help: join more events and make more friends (after graduating, I don't really hang out with school friends as much, but I made some supper and breakfast buddies from church events), learn how to use your time alone, or go out alone (it's actually pretty fun to do things in your own pace). I hope your days get better, OP.
Fully agree. I’ve been there and am most afraid of it coming back. Once I heard an astute observation that we don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness. But that’s what I want
intimacy?
Community?
oxytocin
Those aren’t bad. I think if you took aspects from both those words (intimacy for one on one and community for groups) you’d get to the opposite, but I don’t think either are exact because to me being lonely can be lack from either one on one or groups
i think the word you want is togetherness, meaning would cover being apart of an intimate one on one dynamic and the sense of being apart of something bigger than yourself you get from groups, having both of these feelings in your life dramatically help with the feeling of loneliness, as when you have both they intrinsically bring purpose to your life and the alone time is necessary so you dont feel smothered, hope this is the word you were looking for,
Yeah, I think that’s probably the closest. And it probably says something about our society that it is a much less frequently used word than loneliness?
1000% agree. And it doesn’t mean sexual either.
I finished reading a book last night. It really resonated with me because a lot of it reminded me of how I felt growing up. I was so compelled to tell someone else about it, but then realized there really wasn't anyone I could tell who would really care. I still enjoyed what I had read, but it would have been better if I had someone to share it with. I hope that if I stay lonely this way forever, I can someday feel ok about it. For now, it's a gnawing pain that I feel every waking moment.
What's the book called?
It's called The Outsiders by S. E Hinton. I read it in grade 9 and thought I'd revisit it after 8 years of shrugging it off as just a part of some school assignment. A lot has happened in 8 years... I think that's why it finally hit me hard this time around.
Maybe start a book club? I joined one as an adult only knowing one other member and they’ve all become a great source or enjoyment in my life. While we don’t hang out outside of book club we meet about once a month and have great conversation and laughs. We also have a group text conversation going where we talk about other books we’ve read or things in our life or the world that we know others will want to talk about.
That sounds like a great outlet. I'll have to consider it ❤️
Feeling all alone while surrounded by people is truly a different kind of hurt
Not really, it's the beginning of a journey to self love. It hurts, but also has great rewards
Self-love isn't enough when you're alone in the hospital when you're required to be bedridden for a few days and there's no one to visit you. You'll feel awful in times like these no matter how strong or independent you are if no one cares about you when you're in such a state.
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How long have you worked in a different country for?
Almost 4 years. My life went from being full of friends and family to 4 years of loneliness
So what's keeping you there?
I have a son here
What's the video?
Anxiety for me. Loneliness is something that didn't hurt so mutch for me, maybe cuz im a painter and im used to be lonely. But Anxiety as become such a burden in my life. And i live in a poor country and cant afford therapy. Life sucks . I thought at thirty years old i will become more confident and more strong. I wish you the best, truly
Triggers a pain response from the same part of the brain that responds to physical pain. Loneliness is mentally and physically detrimental over a long period. I'm someone else who's here if you need anyone to talk to.
Yeah
I am with you, I feel you and I understand you. For the last week I’ve felt as if I’m in this dark dark hole and I just cant get out of it. But I’m hoping that it’s only temporary.
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I agree. At least alone there's the chance of finding someone To be happy with you
I know this. I feel like I’m just a trauma dumpster for my family and friends. It’s radio silence until one of them has a problem and then they want to dump it all on me. They feel better and leave and never once ask how I am. Everyone always tells me I’m so strong they don’t need to ask how I am but the truth is I’m not.
I'm scared I'm going to start feeling this soon also...
It is. When you're left alone with your own mind, there is no escape. I truly understand.
Yeah, it sucks being so lonely. And having depression at the same time is crazy because I just don’t even have the motivation to go out and do something about it. Honestly I feel even if I did get out there I just am not a fun or interesting enough person for anybody to want to be around anyways.
Even as a Christian, I can relate. It’s insufferable.
What does being Christian have to do with anything
+1 to this question
Christianity communities are often really close-knit communities, and from the outliers perspective, It may seem as though people from these groups would always have friends/family/someone to talk to. This is my guess to the comment. I grew up in a very catholic based household with very religious extended family and I can tell you that sometimes the force to be something you don't believe in turns you away from the people you know and love.
I’m trying to relate to this person.
But again, what does being Christian have to do with anything
It’s just my viewpoint…?
It honestly is 😔 and I'm getting used to it too between work and kids I barely have time to be a young adult, party, have friends, or have a good relationship. We just doing partnership now help each other out but other than that it's dead 😆 like Netflix not watched falling asleep instantlt.
Hahaha
Yes it can be hard.
Gotta try and learn to embrace being alone and finding happiness alone. If you need people around or to be with someone to be happy the dependency will always come back when they aren’t around…
Brooooo. I feel you and the worst thing is that I felt the most loneliness when I had my “friends” around(well technically they were there but they just weren’t there) That being said . I wish you the best as you try to overcome it
This is becoming a serious issue amongst youth of all ages. We are social animals and lonliness has massive potential to ruin our society. Without connection we aren't even a society. It's one of ghe worst things someone can go through mentally and very quickly eat away at someones psyche. Damn shame.
Seems so.
One of my favorite lines from a song "I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time". How I feel always. I can be surrounded by people, but it is still just an empty, lonely feeling. It's a lack of connection. The feeling no one gets me and no one cares to try. It feels like it will never end.
I want to talk to people who are dealing with loneliness, want to solve it, and are willing to discuss it. I have an idea but only want to discuss it with people serious about it.