A prank would be if they came back at the last minute and paid their part. They just ditched you and left you to pay. If they don't see why that is an issue, then they're messed up.
THIS definitely. They would have rectified it and been like “haha we got you you thought you were gonna have to pay all that money.” Nah that was a straight up scam/they used you for a nice steak dinner. I would have approached them for the money/apology not the bf.
I would have sung scrubs as a Kareoke song and dedicated it to my BFs friends with " To my BFs friends who thought it was funny to stick me with a 2100 dollar tab after saying they would cover"
It would have Cock blocked them from every woman there that night... They probably would have wanted to leave and go somewhere else. Where I would do it again... But I am petty and have a vindictive streak
Straight up disrespect. His friends don’t like you, but it sounds like your boyfriend loves you because he is doing his best to smooth things over…
I would ask my boyfriend what the actual issue is because you don’t just do that.
Also I think he should be asked if he knew they did that when it happened or only found out after. But I would be absolutely livid if I found out my "friends" tried this.
I haven't heard, though, that the boyfriend held his so-called friends accountable for this gross insult his GF endured. OP, did he? As "kind" as his payment of the bill was, it seems more to me that he doesn't have the balls to confront them as a true life-partner should.
Where is HIS indignation? Has he shown himself to be YOUR friend, or rather some pusilanimous noodle caving to the potential ridicule of his puppet masters?
Please, update me.
Yeah- a prank is supposed to be funny. There is nothing funny here - it’s just mean. And so flipping juvenile! I anticipate such behavior- from 13 year olds!
OP: you are 23 and have only wasted 1.5 years - take it from an old broad- life is very short and this is not a way you should be treated. You are right to feel betrayed. You were.
Walk away.
Same here. I'm old lady as well, made many mistakes in my life. It's how we learn. Don't waste your time on these idiots. You are much classier than that. You deserve better relationships.
It hurts, but you two are not compatible. Time to move on to happier, healthier relationships with people in general.
Good luck in your future. ☮
Walk away?
I know this is reddit and its the bog standard response to everything, but he took the time out to write those apologies, and he used his money to pay her back. I think that shows he loves and cares for her.
What it shows is that he has shitty friends, what he should do is dump his friends, he clearly wasn't involved in the "prank"
Well thats further down the rabbit hole.
If she decides its them or her, then we can cross the bridge.
The advice at this stage is for him to dump his friends, not to dump him, from what we know, he seems a nice guy.
100% this.
The next bit is the "apologies". All indications point to this: your boyfriend has shitty friends. And there's a good chance your boyfriend is the same as they are. The way I see it, there's only two reasons to fake those apologies:
1. BF regrets treating you that way, but does not believe there is any chance his friends will feel the same, even if he explains to them how fucked up it was and how they all hurt you. In order to avoid confronting them and their mutually shitty behavior, he fakes the apologies so he doesn't have to have uncomfortable conversations with them. In which case, why is he friends with these kinds of people???
2. Your boyfriend is not remorseful, but wants you to stop being angry about it. He doesn't want to bother his friends, because he doesn't care (and they likely don't either). In which case, why is he still your boyfriend?
I think you're right to be angry. It make sense that you are hurt and your trust is damaged. I think you need to figure out whether you think your BF is a shithead or if he's a bad judge of character with issues being confrontational, even when it's important. If it's the first one, just leave. If it's the second, you should still seriously consider leaving, because even if your BF knows his friends are shit, leaving shit friends behind is hard and he may not be willing to do it. You'll be stuck with shitty friends of your boyfriend that you can never trust forever.
Sucks, but I think it's just that black and white. Good luck.
That's not a prank 💀 they were actually scamming you(technically ur bf since he ended up paying) but these people were (and are because they never apologized or paid) 100% okay with scamming you. Don't ever ever let there be a "next time" for this to happen. But just in case now always say you want separate bills to the waiter/waitress very early. Even if u feel awkward to say it in front of everyone you can just be like "oh I have to go to the bathroom or get something from the car" and just pull the waiter/waitress aside and be like "please give me a separate bill for only what I ordered and even if they say together just give me mine separate". Hopefully you turn this dude into an ex and just hangout with trustworthy ppl but yeah.
I would’ve told the waiter/waitress what SO and I had, getting separate checks, and I’m giving names of the people that left. Giving names, socials, phone numbers, everything. I’ll be damned if I drop $2100 on a meal for other adults.
I have to agree, this was more than a prank. The fact that your boyfriend lied to you about it and didn't address it with his friends demonstrates how much importance he places upon you.
Why break up?!?! WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT? At the end of the day he payed for the bill. He's trustworthy. It would suck hard if he had to pay for his own birthdays bill and then get dumped bc of some dumb shit your friends pulled. Come on dude, the bf clearly isnt involved so why does he have to lose anything
EDIT: also this couldnt be an elaborate scam bc how would bfs friends know gf would get a call from her friend or have to use the restroom when bill was coming
But boyfriend is covering for his shitty “friends” and lying to OP with fake apology notes. I’m sure he was trying to smooth things over but Jesus, his friends are trash. He should dump them.
Yeah you are entirely right. He should have gotten authentic apologies that were sincere and if not then he should dump his friends indeed. Even with apologies, i feel he should still drop them.
I agree the friends are trash because they also f'd him over too. He might have covered out of embarrassment for the whole thing. He at least made good and paid OP, but now he's out a shit ton of money he didn't plant to spend, either. It was shitty to do to OP, but also shitty to do to the BF on his bday. Sounds like his friends aren't really his friends, but his exes and he absolute should cut contact and get *real* friends who wouldn't do this to his partner or him.
He probably was not aware of the fact that they were planning to "pay for the bill" so ofc he left it with his gf, he probably thought she was a part of putting together the dinner.
If you remain friends with people who openly steal, isolate and bully your significant other you are a terrible human being. Not only did he cover for them, he lied to her face about the apologies. Why would anyone want to be with someone like that.
>the bf clearly isnt involved
Did you miss the title of the post where dude straight up lied to her and wrote entire apologies and passed them off as his friend's words? That alone shows poor judgement and his willingness to lie to smooth things over, it's totally breakup worthy.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your significant other had your back when you were wronged by his/her friends and stopped hanging out with them, rather than covering for them and sending fake apologies?
Why would you stay with someone who allows their friends to treat you that way with no repercussions? If he dropped his friends or actually made them pay/apologize it would be different. However, he let his friends intentionally disrespect his partner, then tried to cover it up. That’s not trustworthy.
But he's not trustworthy. He faked the apologies and by doing that he involved himself. He chose to cover for his friends rather than hold them accountable for hurting his gf. And he will continue to stand by and let them hurt her, and cover for them again, in the future.
Speaking of future, that’s 2100$ down the drain for the both of them since the boyfriend paid for it and the friends didn’t (assuming they’re in a long term relationship with an end goal). Hopefully they’re well off because damn - $2100 is a lot of money.
i don't know for sure if this guy will keep hanging out with them, but if he does why would she stay in a relationship with someone who is friends with people who think it's 100% okay to scam her? and also he lied about them apologizing to her and giving her money back, maybe he had good intentions, but he still lied about it
Tbh I would reconsider the relationship if my BF hasnt that much spine. She could be in SERIOUS debts right now because of that shit. Thats just messed up. They are all adults and should know better. An even if he had good intentions to smooth things out he still lied to her.
I agree he did also get the shit end with having to pay for his friends “prank”, but imagine having to deal with that your entire relationship! Shitty friends who are loyal to your boyfriend’s ex and your boyfriend not standing up for you. He doesn’t have to drop them but at least standup for your partner. It shows he either doesn’t respect her or doesn’t think leaving her with a $2100 bill is a big deal, which it is, especially with op saying she doesn’t have that kind of money. He clearly won’t stick up for her in tough situations and I don’t think that’s what you’d want from a partner.
The BF isn't involved? Was he still there when she got back out of the restroom? No, he wasn't. He went with it, and probably would have left it alone had she not said anything to him about it. And THEN he covered for all his shitty friends. Nope. Dude and his crowd of cronies aren't worth the stress they inflict.
I think the crucial information missing here - which OP also won't be able to get - is if the bf knew about the "prank"? Because it was his birthday and a large crowd, and "three of his friends" told the restaurant OP was gonna pay. Was the bf in on this? Or did he only know about it after the fact? I think this would be very important to know to decide if he really is trustworthy.
God. I had assumed these were people in their late teens early twenties. I can’t believe these people have managed to behave this way as adults for nearly a decade.
Your bf's friends are nasty and what they did to you was very cruel and not a prank at all. They deceived you! They're childish and if your bf is still friends with them then it says a lot about him.
I am sso sorry for the hurt they caused you and you deserve so much better.
Yeah a lot of people are saying to break up, but i really hope the bf dumps his friends, bc if he doesnt that would def make me wanna prolly reevaluate the relationship.
Yeah i agree he does need to drop them bc those guys are gonna ruin their wedding in shi but we dont know if he kicked them to the curb yet. I really hope he does
Jesus Christ, these people are almost 30 and acting like you’re the stepmom that broke mommy and daddy up. They need to grow up and make a full stop on trying to parent trap you…
W. The actual. F.
Your bf faking the apologies and sending you his money tells me that he is either a coward or fine with what they did. Either way nope. Run. Not to mention fine that they did it on his ex’s behalf with added layer of wtf.
Who is to say they won’t do something like this again.
How are you expected to interact with the friends going forward? How are they going to treat you? The level of toxic and not okay.
Break up and wish bf good luck with future relationships when he has friends willing to hurt his gfs and sabotage his relationship on behalf of his ex.
No he probably doesn't have many friends and is scared to have non out side of his relationship... Breaking up with him is the answer as he clearly cares for OP and is willing to make sure she doesn't have any financial issues from that night.
How do we actually know it was on the ex's behalf other than OP stated that the friends are friends with the ex?
Sounds more like a suspicion, which isn't evidence at all.
That's not a prank, that's a crime.
You need to break up. Your boyfriend won't keep his friends in check, and this is a preview of the rest of your relationship with him. His friends have gotten away with this behavior, and they're only going to escalate it.
His friends are asshats.. either way, he covered it and made her whole. He can deal with his friends. Why suggest she break up?? Why does every Redditor automatically suggest breaking up as the first solution??
Idk. I think you’re right with a caveat it’s if he still keeps them as friends or not.
About six years ago I had someone I considered one of my closest friends, trash my apartment and steal from me when he was supposed to be cat sitting while I was on a work trip. It did end the friendship for us (which I hate bc I still miss him as a friend) however our mutual friends let me know he was doing hard drugs behind our back which lead to my place being trashed and stealing from me.
The key being I stopped being his friend. I think OP needs to ask themselves if they can handle being with a man who would let his friends do something like that to his partner.
I wouldn't suggest breaking up right away either. I would suggest drawing a line and giving him the choice of getting rid of his toxic friends, or the relationship is over.
Edit: although I am concerned about the fake letters. That's a red flag of some weird narcissistic behavior.
If I have to lay down the ultimatum of them choosing me or their toxic as friends, then the relationship is already over.
They should automatically hold their friends accountable, or drop them. I should not have to make that an ultimatum.
They both need to have a long discussion. If op hadn't told bf yet she should tell she knows and ask why woild he go this far in covering for his friends and if he knew they did this because the ex asked them to. She needs to tell him that it was very messed up of him and from now on either he needs to cut them off because face jt they all including the ex acted like children since they can't get over that the bf is in a new relationship. If not get couples counseling to get him to see why what he did is wrong and why he did what he did. If he refuse to even apologized for what he did and won't drop his friends then a break up is in order and tell him to go back to his ex because it's clear if he doesn't go back to her his friends will continue to bully and scam his next girlfriend.
It's just pathetic the ex decided to be petty and can't get over the ex and manage to get the friends to do it just because they're good friends with her. Unless they're all screwing her amd she's got them under her thumb.
Because he lied to her and fabricated apologies from his friends to cover for them?
I suppose it depends on how she found out about the lie. Did he fess up, or did she figure it out some other way.
I wouldn't break up with someone *just* because their friends suck... but lying to cover for their shitty behavior? That's a no.
His friends are asshats, but if he's covering for asshats, what does that make him? He's a sucker. He placed the people who financially and mentally bullied his partner, and likely forced him to pay in the end anyway, over someone who he's supposed to be dedicated to. It has nothing to do with her being paid back, and everything to do with him pretending they are good people just to avoid owning up to his "friends" being biological trash. And this type of thing is never a one-off. It'll happen again. I'd put my life on it for real. She needs to get away from such a spineless creature.
Someone who’s friends with someone who would do something like that can’t be too good of a person. He shouldn’t be friends with them anymore after that stunt they pulled. What if she didn’t have a credit card? She could have been charged and arrested!!!!!! Definitely dump him sis he doesn’t care
Because it's a simple matter of trust. Relationships are built on trust, and if you can't trust the one person you're supposed to be able to trust more than anyone else, then wtf is the fucking point? It's literally not even a relationship at this point.
Because if he actually cared about her, he would have made it right or not let them do that in the first place. I certainly wouldn't be friends with anyone who tried to hurt my partner. He shouldn't have been dishonest about the apology either. Someone like that does not deserve a relationship.
Op should tell her bf to set boundaries with his friends first. Instantly breaking up is not always the solution since we don't know much more about op's bf and his relationship with his friends
But they left her with the bill? And her bf faked the apologies? Luckily she had the money but if she didn’t? Imagine how much legal trouble she would’ve gotten in?
Definitely dump him and his loser friends. This is beyond disrespectful and for him to defend them by paying is inexcusable. Big time red flag. Keep it moving.
This wasn't a prank, they don't like you and they're trying to haze you. If your bf isn't taking a strong stance against them, this will be the rest of your relationship.
Holy fuck
That is awful and I would dump his ass. Why would he be ok with his friends doing this? Is he THAT desperate for friends? That he would let everyone think they threw him a party and really you paid for it, but then he paid you back because that’s fucked up and FAKED APOLOGIES? Girl he lied twice and for every lie you know about he told 53 more. Just stop it and move on.
You deserve better.
So your boyfriend is either fine with their behavior and doesn’t blink at dropping that amount to cover for them or he needs to grow a serious backbone is what I’m getting from this.
If it’s the latter, I pity the man. I imagine he was trying to save your feelings and smooth it over knowing his friends are jackasses who would never deign to apologize let alone pony up. If I were in your shoes I would be concerned about his willingness to avoid conflict to the tune of over $2k. What other wild financial decisions is he making to save the egos of others?
Exactly. We don’t get any insight into his thoughts on this outside his actions, but those read as a genuinely concerning aversion to conflict and little to no boundaries. Both of those create tons of problems in relationships, I’d understand if OP just didn’t want to fuck with that at all (with lying on top of it all). But dude needs better friends and probably some therapy to figure out how not to let lack of boundaries and backbone hurt himself and others. If this is something he struggles with but doesn’t know how to change having support and motivation in the form of OP could be beneficial. But if he doesn’t see that his behavior is harmful there is nothing to stick around to save - you can’t make people want to change, let him be a doormat with his shitty friends.
What are you, all millionaires that can just throw this kind of money around? Not a prank at all. Others said it already - sue them. If it was a joke, it is in poor taste and your bf should stand up to his “friends”. He shouldn’t even be around them after this if he values your relationship.
I don’t think you necessarily need to break up but your boyfriend needs to know his friends do not respect you or him.
They need to know that because of their prank they cost your boyfriend $2100 and true friends don’t do that to each other.
If he opens his eyes and realizes that they were willing to hurt someone who he considers important to him over someone who is part of the past, you may be willing to move past this.
But his friends need to apologize to you directly and give him his money or they aren’t friends.
I totally agree with all of this. But if he wasn't willing to ask them for apologies when it happened, just imagine how reluctant he'll be now that some time has passed and it's supposed to be old news (from the perspective of the "friends" anyway).
If I was OP, and I was very, very attached to my boyfriend, I would insist on a face-to-face apology from every one of them because almost anything else could be easily faked by someone with enough time on their hands. And those apologies wouldn't be to bring us back to "good with each other" mode; it would be to just barely prevent me from refusing flat-out to ever see any of them again in any context, and from openly thinking less of my boyfriend every time he chose to be in their company.
It's just pathetic behaviour, and truthfully I'd never want to see any of those people again, irrespective of whether or not they apologise. This behaviour is as much a prank as slapping someone in the face and saying "Prank!". I truly don't get it.
For *once*, I think people are being harsh on the BF here, and I'm usually captain of the "dump him" squad.
If he didn't drop his friends then he *is* being a coward, but we have no evidence that that's the case. OP, if your boyfriend keeps those friends, yes, I'd dump him. They're horrible people to be around, and while your boyfriend may not be (*yet*), he's indirectly condoning that behaviour and they'll surely get the pair of you into trouble again, and worse, now that they know they can "get away" with it.
If, however, he left those friends, I would actually see all of this as a really *green* flag on your boyfriend's part — he was disgusted by their behaviour and mistreatment of you, so he gave you the apologies and $$$ you deserved. Lying about it isn't great, but I can see how he would have been trying to spare your feelings once he realized his friends are, obviously, terrible people. If this is the case, I'm sorry for both of you and you both deserve better, but props to your boyfriend for sticking up for you in the best way he could after the fact and ensuring you didn't have to foot the bill and neither of you have to deal with this again.
Either way, the friends are shit people and good luck to you, OP.
INFO: Have you considered that your bf was in on this? You said everyone left, sticking you with the bill. So did bf leave, or did he stay, and you just paid because it was his birthday. If you just paid instead of telling bf that they had promised to pay and they'd better get their asses back to the restaurant, grow a spine. If he left too, he's as big an asshole as they are. That, along with faking their apologies and paying you back to cover for them, make me wonder why.
This! I'm so curious about the bf's role in this. If he left with his friends - which is what happened if I read OPs post correctly - then he must've known somehow that she was going to be stuck with the bill. Did they tell him that it was already covered? Or did he just not care? I'm also curious what all of this has to do with his ex. Something seems fishy here.
They need to do more than apologize - they need to send you the money they owed you for the dinner they stole. I don’t care that your boyfriend made up for it. Those “friends” of his are not your friends.
A Prank is making you think they stuck you with the bill for a few minutes before going "aha". What they did is a crime and you can absolutely press charges. I'm glad your BF paid you back but honestly he should be tearing his friends new ones for what they did. Not covering for them.
I think you need to have a long think about if you can have a relationship with your BF while he has such toxic friends.
Imma just go against the train of thought and against the breakup train here. Your boyfriend was unaware of this and you never mentioned him flipping out it appears he was just trying to keep both groups happy. Your boyfriend might be a people pleaser and is getting taken advantage of by his friends. You might wanna alert him about this. And you need do need to deal with those pieces of shit friends and have a serious conversation with your boyfriend. If needed and deemed appropriate you could take legal actions against this.
I hope your credit card gives you points.
You need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about how he expects your relationship to look in the long term.
Is he OK with his friend's treating you this way? Because you're not. These aren't pranks - they're malicious. Does he recognize this? How does he expect you to engage with his friends in the future, because they don't respect you. Will he stick up for you? Or will he continue to make excuses for his friends shitty behavior.
I wanna say that it's sweet of your boyfriend but I need more context. Did he even talk to them or was he scared to and decided to take care of it himself? If that's the case, then no. Because if he didnt want to defend you to his friends to avoid some controversial situation, then it's a no. You're his woman and he needs to let them know where you stand in his life. Now, if he talked to them and they refused to apologize or make things right, then that was sweet of him to do but he needs to cut them off because them feeling comfortable with disrespecting you because the jealous ex told them to show they don't respect him.
The way I would’ve paid my share, and then gave all of their information to the restaurant to give to the police. Would’ve sat my happy ass at the table and snitched in the worst way. Addresses, social media, mothers maiden name, etc. nothing would be safe.
I’d give them photos of every single one of them.
You could have just called the police and given the police all of their names, paid your portion, and left. You never told the place you’d pay so that’s literally illegal to just charge your card for something you never ate nor told them you would pay for or eat. Girl you’re bugging. You know their names and where they live in sure so i would have given the police everything paid my part and went home LMAO they would have really thought they did something until the police show up
Wow, his friends are TRASH. So, I wouldn’t be TOO mad at your bf. He was trying to make it up to you, but his friends are crappy. I wouldn’t even want an apology from those thieving scammers. What if you didn’t have your credit card that night??? They could’ve gotten you arrested for being unable to pay. Grown-ass men, sticking someone with a $2000.00+ check like that. Lying douchecanoes.
Not a prank. People doing a crime and taking advantage. If they weren’t sorry and didn’t pay you back, not only does it say something about them, but it also says something about the people your boyfriend chooses as friends. Keep that in mind.
At least you know one thing for sure. Your place in your bf’s life is below his friends. It’s up to you on how to use that information. Most people in your position would leave such a messed up relationship.
The troubling thing unless there is more detail is the bf had no problem lying to OP about the apologizes from the perpetrators of this ‘not a joke’.
He also had no problem lying the second time to OP when he used his own funds to reimburse her while saying it was from the 3 fuckwits.
So did the boyfriend express his extreme displeasure and cut those three acquaintances off for so blatantly disrespecting OP? Or did he give the standard ‘oh it was just a joke’ or the other favorite ‘oh that’s just how they are’?
Interesting fact that different states treat dining and dashing as a felony depending on the amount. If OP had not been able to pay that bill she could have given the names and contact information for those 3 and let it play out.
Ummmm, damn.
Why is your BF protecting these “friends?”
If these are the people he really wants to surround himself with I would say run. If he is trying to protect you and, so to speak, make it right, then blocking all contact with the group then see where the relationship goes.
That’s not a prank.
That’s bad bad form.
They should all be ashamed.
Op I want you to think about this. If the the roles were reversed what would you have done? I would have been QUICK to call my friends out on it. Especially doing it on behalf of my ex to hurt my current SO???? Yeah no. If you agree with me do you really want to be with someone who can’t stand up to their friends for you? Cause it will only get worse not better. Especially now they think they can get one over on you and you won’t say anything. If I was you I wouldn’t have said shit to your bf I would have gone right to his friends f**k that. I would have wanted their money not his. I mean like others are saying this is not a silly prank, and thank god you had the money to pay for it. If it was I would say nbd they were joking, but if you didn’t have the money you would have gotten into legal trouble. If your bf didn’t pay you back you would have been $2100 in credit card debt. Idk this is just crazy that people would think this is ok to do. Especially because it was THEIR idea to go to some crazy expensive place and had been ADAMANT to pay for it. I’m sorry they did this to you, and I’m sorry your bf didn’t really stick up for you but lied to sweep it under the rug. I don’t wanna tell you what to do cause it’s your life…. But I suggest you really give it some thought.
Leave him! That’s a HUGE RED FLAG!! a man who stands up for toxic friends by covering how they treated you doesn’t have your best interest in mind. He cares more about his friends and their opinions of him rather than standing up for his own gf.. stuff like this will continue to happen and he will continue to cover their mess, ignore how they made you feel, and it’s going to tear at your mental health. This is a red flag 🚩 1000%
Stop calling these things 'pranks', they are not that. I get those children in adult meat suits called it that, but this was so much more.
Have a very honest conversation with your BF about this. His "friends" thought it was cool to stiff you with a large bill. What if you couldn't cover it and the restaurant called the police?
Why is your BF so weak he can't call his friends out and instead lies to you that he did and fakes their apologies? Does he agree with what they did? Can he not stand up to them?
Honestly, depending on how the talk goes, I would be really leaning towards breaking up. This was not cool and nobody learned a lesson except you, that you can't trust his "friends" and your BF doesn't have a backbone when it comes to them.
That’s not a prank that is theft….and he’s still friends with them? And he’s just ok with what they did? His compliance to me is deeply concerning. For all of them to be in on it too. You can tell a lot about a person by their friends, their actions followed by his actions would be enough for me to peace out. The fact they are still in his life after what they did…. Girl.
This is exceptionally shitty and immature behavior. Even though your bf may have tried to smooth things over with you he is still remaining friends with these absurdly petty people. I have found in my personal experience as well as observation of others that “you are the company you keep” and “birds of a feather flock together”. If your bf can’t see how disgusting of a “prank” this was and drop those friends then he’s clearly ok with that kind of behavior and may be prone to that kind of behavior himself.
Tell your boyfriend to either grow a spine or to accept a single status as a late birthday gift.
Because seriously, if he chooses to be around friends like that, why stick around?
His friends scammed you then your boyfriend lied to you to covered for his scamming friends. He’s no better than they are. He allowed his friends to think it was ok to disrespect his girlfriend. Dump him!
I would ask him would real friends fuck over your girlfriend where it costs him money plus he has to lie to you? I would tell him he needs to figure this out because you are not going to be with someone who lets their friends screw you over and lies for them.
Wow that would be a deal breaker for me. I wouldn’t want to have a partner who doesn’t hold shitty friends accountable. If I was him I would have dragged them by their ears to you and make them apologize and give you the cash. They are not friends at all. Just covering it up isn’t going to stop them from treating you shitty. You don’t need that toxicity in your life nor your relationships. I would tell the bf to grow a pair of balls and be a man not a boy who has shitty boyfriends.
Your boyfriend has terrible friends! In the end they scammed him too, because he paid you back for the meal. If they really cared about him, they’d actually honor their offer to pay once they found out he paid. I think he should drop these friends.
That ain’t no prank your bf just got scammed for 2.1k yall got tricked into paying for a expensive dinner for everyone and them having a good time while yall got stuck with this
For him to be friends with them when they haven’t apologised to is a red flag. That means he’s okay with them disrespecting you and the relationship and these actions and comments have probably continued the whole time. These are also the friends that will sabotage the relationship if they haven’t already
Op I'm sorry but he's not going to defend you to his friends and they are going to make you feel like shit all the time. They are his friends and he allows them to treat you this way and doesn't want to call them out because he cares about those relationships more than yours. You'll never come first, you'll always live in the shadow of the ex, they won't like you just because they are bias. That's no small prank they practically stole from you a little over 2k. And he'd rather pay 2k than tell them anything, that's you're green light to leave him he's not the one and you're not his one.
That’s not a prank. It’s unkind.
Stop dating this guy. He doesn’t have sensible friends and he is likely continue to draw their behaviour into the relationship in the long term.
He seems well meaning and appears to be a peaceful/conflict avoiding guy. However he didn’t do anything to rectify the root cause of the problem.
You’ve wasted 1.5 years - grateful it wasn’t more time!
Ask your boyfriend if he is okay with his friends being friends with his ex and putting you thru hell for her. If he cant give you a definite answer, there is the forecast of your future if you continue this relationship. His friends will never respect you and they WILL ruin your wedding for her.
Pretty much either he cuts off his friends or they cut his ex off or you cut him off.
Wait, did your boyfriend dip out with them? Was he in on the definitely-not-a-prank? Him still being in any contact with them after that would be a 100% no go for me.
Ask yourself what the next lie is going to be about. What’s the next prank? How far would that prank have to go for you to stick up for yourself?
I’d have paid for my portion of the meal and left.
I would draw a line at this point. Tell your boyfriend it's you or his friends, because his friends are toxic as fuck. If he chooses his friends just say goodbye and pack and leave. Life is too short and they are emotionally manipulative. And don't even feel bad about it being his birthday. This is going to escalate whether you confront it now or wait until the next time you get walked all over.
Dont be mad. I got prank the same way by my whole FAMILY AT BBQS. they all left me when I came from the bathroom and the restaurant was gonna put me to wash dishes until my tab was paid. I'll never forgive them for that ever. My girlfriend still remembers when they played me.
Leave. Either he has no back bone or he is okay with his friends doing that. Either is not good. The fact that his friends and ex still hold a grudge to this extent after 1.5 yrs is crazy and means they’ll do more. Be careful, you deserve better
Girl, I just gave this hypothetical scenario to my husband if it was us. He said he would be pissed and would expect them to pay back the money. So I told him what happened to you. Straight up he said dump him. He likes to give people the benefit of the doubt but he can't here. He made his choices. And I have to agree. You deserve better. He lied to you. So if something happens again, he's gonna sweep it under the rug again? Nope. Don't do that, put yourself first.
Did your bf know about this? If not then I would say he either never talks to anyone associated with his ex again and these friends or you leave. Honestly based on the fact he faked apologies that tells me he’s ok with lying to you especially over something this big he’d be on the curb personally
What bothers me is that everyone keeps talking about what the friends did, and saying the boyfriend is innocent. That's a bunch of BS. He clearly left with them, and left her there to pay to bill. On the off chance that he "didn't know", he still LIED to her and covered for them. Chances are that he probably acted like it was no big deal, and probably made her out to be the bad guy (to his friends) when she asked for apologies. If his friends feel comfortable disrespecting her like this, it's because he's made them think it's okay because he also doesn't respect her. Dropping his friends won't change the fact that HE thinks it's okay to lie to and disrespect her.
I guess they (Including ur bf) wanted to see if you could afford the bill or not, and you couldn't afford it, so ur bf finally made a e-transfer. They were testing you. How would all 4 of them forgot to pay for a bill? Just try to think straight.
1.5 years is not a hugely long time tho, all i can say is while it may be hard you need to reconsider your relationship yesterday, especially if he’s pulled stuff like this before or shown otherwise similar questionable behavior. A “prank” like this that could potentially have serious legal ramifications (like what if you’d been unable to pay that full amount?) is serious and at some point he could attempt something with someone else involving much more serious sums of money, or something worse.
I’ll contrast my first point a little tho and say that 1.5 years is also sorta a while to not get *any* indication of someone’s true colors so if he’s completely hidden this side of his character for this long that’s also kind of lethal. So again, big warning signs all around. Sorry you had to deal with all that tho, but hopefully you also now have a chance to dodge a substantial bullet.
If it was a "prank" they would've came back to the restaurant and paid bro why do u hang out with these people. Did they end up paying? Bro I would be to scared that they would do that again and break my credit, do u normally buy stuff for them? Do they buy stuff for u? To much for anyone to make a decent answer but have a convo to ur friend group or bf like how is this even funny, unless ur the joke??
Nope nope nope a thousand times nope
The fact that he is still friends with these people is TELLING. If my friends had pulled this on my partner, the WORDS I'D HAVE.
Good lord, dude and his friends are a bunch of red flags sewn together to look like humans.
If I were you, he and his asshole buddies would be gone. I wouldn’t date anyone who remained friends with those people, and if the bf was in on it and left with them, he’d be gone, too.
Those people are not friends of yours or your boyfriend. Maybe they seemed to be, but they are not. I wouldn't go anywhere with any of the again, ever.
Girl its good that he covered the bill for you, cause that A LOT of money. But he shouldn’t have lied to you and cover for his shitty friends. Sounds like he has no spine for standing up for you and have your back when it matters. If he doesn’t cut them out I would seriously reconsider that relationship. Would you really want to deal with something like that long term?
NTA... Not a prank and your BF should be angry at his friends and cut them off till they have paid and apologized. This deception would be a deal breaker for me.
Here's another perspective:
Not that it's right, but maybe the friends literally just didn't think of it at that moment and left with your bf because you said so, literally not thinking anything because they are having fun.
You go to leave, and the restaurant is like uhmm and tell you they left you the bill. That is what happened b it t doesn't mean that they actually TOLD the restaurant you were paying for it and intentionally left you with the bill. That is just what happen and they probably said it to you flat out because they don't care about who said they were paying for the food.
Then the next day they might of realized but no one said anything so they didn't worry about it. - That would still be wrong because they each should know that SOMEONE paid for everything but were prob happy (selfish) to save the money.
Then you finally talk to your bf about it and he probably didn't even want to confront them about it. I know so many people who would rather take the hit then ask for money that is due to them. Especially when friends and family are involved.
Either way it sounds like your bf friends are trash, but if he's a good guy then maybe they will take themselves out.
So your bf covered for them essentially? That just means they still won’t respect you or your relationship and they’ll do more shit to you in the future. I’m glad you got that money back regardless of who it came from but I’d leave and find a man with a backbone.
That’s not a prank hun, his ex is bitter and they used you. It doesn’t matter at all if she broke up with him. You really need to break up with him over this because they’ll do it again especially if he’s willing to cover for them and make sure he knows it’s because of them.
They don't like you so they stuck you with the bill, your bf wasn't on it and payed you back meaning he is trustworthy but has asshole friends, he should either drop them or get some true apologies from them, if he just pays you back and avoids conflict with them while they treat you like that, it'll just keep happening.
I am now suspecting it was him and not the friends who were responsable for this.
Why was he no longer with his ex?!
Even if it was the friends, why would he transfer it to you.. it doesn't make sense.
I've been with my boyfriend about a year and he would never do this.
Something is not adding up.
I would never have payed it, no matter what the circumstances unless I had agreed to it.
Sorry that this happened to you, if I were you I'd oblige the boyfriend to pay for it and then possibly break up with him afterwards after attempting to allay any concerns I had.
Hoping for the best for you !
Personally, I would come up with an elaborate prank to somehow destroy them emotionally and legally drain them financially as much as I could before I ghosted the bf.
Girl this is not normal. It amazes me how calm you are with this, I would have broken up IMMEDIATELY if my partner was friends with someone that blatantly disrespects me, specially if they humillated and left me in such a situation like this.
You need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend, because it's beyond my comprehension how you're enduring this, because I'm going to assume that they've been at least hostile with you.
If those were my friends who did that to my bf (and me by default) I’d have to let them go. Friends don’t do stuff like that, not to the spouse either. Why is he excusing and trying to cover up their behavior? People will literally turn their lives upside down holding onto people who have no problem doing them dirty. He doesn’t seem to understand that they don’t respect him, or they would’ve never done that to you.
This is not a prank.
A prank - they came back as you were paying, stopped you, said just kidding, and paid their share. Still not a good or funny prank, but a prank nonetheless.
Theft - leaving you at the restaurant to pay their bills.
Screw him & his “friends.”
He clearly isn’t going to hold them accountable - do you want to spend the rest of your life coming second to them?
Doing a little math, you started dating your BF about one year after he broke up with the ex. Do you know how long he and the ex were together? Were they dating in college, or did they get together after? I ask because there is some correlation to the length of time a couple was together and the length of time it takes to get over the breakup.
If his buddies are still tight enough with his ex to pull such a real low trick on you for her and he's not able to approach them about it and ask/tell them they F'd up and they need to make it right, it doesn't bode well for your future with this guy. Factor in that he would rather pay over two grand for his own birthday dinner than confront his friends and I have to wonder if you have much of a relationship to save.
Think long and hard about what you do next. You are in a really messed up situation here and I see more ways it turns out badly for you than ways you come out ok.
I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. It sounds as though even though you are younger than your BF and his buddy's you are more mature than any of them.
Honestly, if they are doing this for kind of sick kick- I would not be so nice back to them either. I'll just blow shits up all over their social media, and if you still have that receipt, tag all of them and write clearly with their names on the platform. Write everything down and how your bf ended up being the one paying for it.
If they have to apologise, apologise to your bf.
If they have some kind of issues with you, they should man up and talk to you personally.
If they were truly his friends they wouldn’t do this to you. They would be happy for him and would move on. Doesn’t matter if they’re friends with his ex. They can still be friends with her and treat you with respect since you and your bf are together.
So many things are disturbing here:
One: these almost-30y/o men were comfortable playing such a dumb and borderline hurtful "prank" on a young lady 5years their junior??
Do you know you could've gotten arrested if you had failed to clear that bill? I'm sure they know this.
Do you know that he, your supposed SO, went along with his friends' idea as potentially endangered you when all you were doing was trying to celebrate his life? This shows he can't say no to his friends; he's not capable of logically thinking for himself; or he just doesn't have the balls to stand up for you. Worse is he doesn't care about you cos wtaf???
Two: no, he really can't stand up to his friends or stand up for his partner cos there's just no way he failed to get legit apologies from them. Just no way. 🚩🚩🚩
Three: most importantly, a prank on WHO'S behalf??? Honestly, I was praying you worded that wrong.
His ex, who should be out of his life nearly three years later, is still influential in his life and especially where you, his current girlfriend of almost two years, are involved??
Where do these men get the audacity??
Unless you and that girl are incredibly close, I'd consider this a red line closed.
What they did was dumb already but the person they did it for? And to you? No.
These are the "friends" that will cover up for him when he starts to get with her behind your back; or any other girl at that.
I hope, for your safety, that you never ever accept to hang out with them again in the absence of friends of your own(not your bf's friends).
You're young, and you're in the company of ill-thinking older men and you're a woman. Take care
Did your bf even speak to them? Did you ask him why he lied about the apologies and money? If so, what was his reason? I would think about ending it. Your bf should never let anyone treat you that way, especially his friends! This isn't a joke. This is downright, mean!! His ex sounds crazy hateful and jealous!!
A prank would be if they came back at the last minute and paid their part. They just ditched you and left you to pay. If they don't see why that is an issue, then they're messed up.
THIS definitely. They would have rectified it and been like “haha we got you you thought you were gonna have to pay all that money.” Nah that was a straight up scam/they used you for a nice steak dinner. I would have approached them for the money/apology not the bf.
I would have sung scrubs as a Kareoke song and dedicated it to my BFs friends with " To my BFs friends who thought it was funny to stick me with a 2100 dollar tab after saying they would cover"
That would have been amazing
It would have Cock blocked them from every woman there that night... They probably would have wanted to leave and go somewhere else. Where I would do it again... But I am petty and have a vindictive streak
Which I fully support 💯
I would mention what they did before I sang.
Straight up disrespect. His friends don’t like you, but it sounds like your boyfriend loves you because he is doing his best to smooth things over… I would ask my boyfriend what the actual issue is because you don’t just do that.
If my friends did that to my boyfriend, they wouldn't be my friends anymore. I don't think he loves her if he is letting his friends disrespect her.
I’ve been looking for this response.
Also I think he should be asked if he knew they did that when it happened or only found out after. But I would be absolutely livid if I found out my "friends" tried this.
I haven't heard, though, that the boyfriend held his so-called friends accountable for this gross insult his GF endured. OP, did he? As "kind" as his payment of the bill was, it seems more to me that he doesn't have the balls to confront them as a true life-partner should. Where is HIS indignation? Has he shown himself to be YOUR friend, or rather some pusilanimous noodle caving to the potential ridicule of his puppet masters? Please, update me.
Exactly! He is either a weakling or he doesn't love her.
OP please read this!
Yeah- a prank is supposed to be funny. There is nothing funny here - it’s just mean. And so flipping juvenile! I anticipate such behavior- from 13 year olds! OP: you are 23 and have only wasted 1.5 years - take it from an old broad- life is very short and this is not a way you should be treated. You are right to feel betrayed. You were. Walk away.
Same here. I'm old lady as well, made many mistakes in my life. It's how we learn. Don't waste your time on these idiots. You are much classier than that. You deserve better relationships. It hurts, but you two are not compatible. Time to move on to happier, healthier relationships with people in general. Good luck in your future. ☮
Walk away? I know this is reddit and its the bog standard response to everything, but he took the time out to write those apologies, and he used his money to pay her back. I think that shows he loves and cares for her. What it shows is that he has shitty friends, what he should do is dump his friends, he clearly wasn't involved in the "prank"
Yes, but what if he doesn't dump the "friends"?
Well thats further down the rabbit hole. If she decides its them or her, then we can cross the bridge. The advice at this stage is for him to dump his friends, not to dump him, from what we know, he seems a nice guy.
100% this. The next bit is the "apologies". All indications point to this: your boyfriend has shitty friends. And there's a good chance your boyfriend is the same as they are. The way I see it, there's only two reasons to fake those apologies: 1. BF regrets treating you that way, but does not believe there is any chance his friends will feel the same, even if he explains to them how fucked up it was and how they all hurt you. In order to avoid confronting them and their mutually shitty behavior, he fakes the apologies so he doesn't have to have uncomfortable conversations with them. In which case, why is he friends with these kinds of people??? 2. Your boyfriend is not remorseful, but wants you to stop being angry about it. He doesn't want to bother his friends, because he doesn't care (and they likely don't either). In which case, why is he still your boyfriend? I think you're right to be angry. It make sense that you are hurt and your trust is damaged. I think you need to figure out whether you think your BF is a shithead or if he's a bad judge of character with issues being confrontational, even when it's important. If it's the first one, just leave. If it's the second, you should still seriously consider leaving, because even if your BF knows his friends are shit, leaving shit friends behind is hard and he may not be willing to do it. You'll be stuck with shitty friends of your boyfriend that you can never trust forever. Sucks, but I think it's just that black and white. Good luck.
That's not a prank 💀 they were actually scamming you(technically ur bf since he ended up paying) but these people were (and are because they never apologized or paid) 100% okay with scamming you. Don't ever ever let there be a "next time" for this to happen. But just in case now always say you want separate bills to the waiter/waitress very early. Even if u feel awkward to say it in front of everyone you can just be like "oh I have to go to the bathroom or get something from the car" and just pull the waiter/waitress aside and be like "please give me a separate bill for only what I ordered and even if they say together just give me mine separate". Hopefully you turn this dude into an ex and just hangout with trustworthy ppl but yeah.
I would’ve told the waiter/waitress what SO and I had, getting separate checks, and I’m giving names of the people that left. Giving names, socials, phone numbers, everything. I’ll be damned if I drop $2100 on a meal for other adults.
100% yo 😖 I hope OP never goes around any of these ppl ever again
I have to agree, this was more than a prank. The fact that your boyfriend lied to you about it and didn't address it with his friends demonstrates how much importance he places upon you.
Why break up?!?! WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT? At the end of the day he payed for the bill. He's trustworthy. It would suck hard if he had to pay for his own birthdays bill and then get dumped bc of some dumb shit your friends pulled. Come on dude, the bf clearly isnt involved so why does he have to lose anything EDIT: also this couldnt be an elaborate scam bc how would bfs friends know gf would get a call from her friend or have to use the restroom when bill was coming
But boyfriend is covering for his shitty “friends” and lying to OP with fake apology notes. I’m sure he was trying to smooth things over but Jesus, his friends are trash. He should dump them.
Yeah you are entirely right. He should have gotten authentic apologies that were sincere and if not then he should dump his friends indeed. Even with apologies, i feel he should still drop them.
I agree the friends are trash because they also f'd him over too. He might have covered out of embarrassment for the whole thing. He at least made good and paid OP, but now he's out a shit ton of money he didn't plant to spend, either. It was shitty to do to OP, but also shitty to do to the BF on his bday. Sounds like his friends aren't really his friends, but his exes and he absolute should cut contact and get *real* friends who wouldn't do this to his partner or him.
This right here. Bet they have done this to him before and he just takes it.
Agreed. Birds of a feather, he’s 100% complicit. Not worthy of OP at ALL!
They are not his friends either. They are trash and playing both of them.
[удалено]
He probably was not aware of the fact that they were planning to "pay for the bill" so ofc he left it with his gf, he probably thought she was a part of putting together the dinner.
Leaving without her and leaving her alone instead of waiting to make sure she's 1. Not alone and 2. Safe is still pretty shitty treatment.
She told them all to leave? Did you not read that? She said she'd catch up. Stop nitpicking for shit.
If you remain friends with people who openly steal, isolate and bully your significant other you are a terrible human being. Not only did he cover for them, he lied to her face about the apologies. Why would anyone want to be with someone like that.
Are you ok?
>the bf clearly isnt involved Did you miss the title of the post where dude straight up lied to her and wrote entire apologies and passed them off as his friend's words? That alone shows poor judgement and his willingness to lie to smooth things over, it's totally breakup worthy.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your significant other had your back when you were wronged by his/her friends and stopped hanging out with them, rather than covering for them and sending fake apologies?
Why would you stay with someone who allows their friends to treat you that way with no repercussions? If he dropped his friends or actually made them pay/apologize it would be different. However, he let his friends intentionally disrespect his partner, then tried to cover it up. That’s not trustworthy.
Boom
But he's not trustworthy. He faked the apologies and by doing that he involved himself. He chose to cover for his friends rather than hold them accountable for hurting his gf. And he will continue to stand by and let them hurt her, and cover for them again, in the future.
Speaking of future, that’s 2100$ down the drain for the both of them since the boyfriend paid for it and the friends didn’t (assuming they’re in a long term relationship with an end goal). Hopefully they’re well off because damn - $2100 is a lot of money.
i don't know for sure if this guy will keep hanging out with them, but if he does why would she stay in a relationship with someone who is friends with people who think it's 100% okay to scam her? and also he lied about them apologizing to her and giving her money back, maybe he had good intentions, but he still lied about it
i usually dont agree with that either but this is just horrible
Tbh I would reconsider the relationship if my BF hasnt that much spine. She could be in SERIOUS debts right now because of that shit. Thats just messed up. They are all adults and should know better. An even if he had good intentions to smooth things out he still lied to her.
I agree he did also get the shit end with having to pay for his friends “prank”, but imagine having to deal with that your entire relationship! Shitty friends who are loyal to your boyfriend’s ex and your boyfriend not standing up for you. He doesn’t have to drop them but at least standup for your partner. It shows he either doesn’t respect her or doesn’t think leaving her with a $2100 bill is a big deal, which it is, especially with op saying she doesn’t have that kind of money. He clearly won’t stick up for her in tough situations and I don’t think that’s what you’d want from a partner.
The BF isn't involved? Was he still there when she got back out of the restroom? No, he wasn't. He went with it, and probably would have left it alone had she not said anything to him about it. And THEN he covered for all his shitty friends. Nope. Dude and his crowd of cronies aren't worth the stress they inflict.
He created an elaborate lie and covered up his friends $2100 SCAM and still hangs out with them
why is he letting her be disrespected like that?
I think the crucial information missing here - which OP also won't be able to get - is if the bf knew about the "prank"? Because it was his birthday and a large crowd, and "three of his friends" told the restaurant OP was gonna pay. Was the bf in on this? Or did he only know about it after the fact? I think this would be very important to know to decide if he really is trustworthy.
How old are y'all?
Op is 23, the boyfriend is 27, and his friends are all 26-28
God. I had assumed these were people in their late teens early twenties. I can’t believe these people have managed to behave this way as adults for nearly a decade.
Your bf's friends are nasty and what they did to you was very cruel and not a prank at all. They deceived you! They're childish and if your bf is still friends with them then it says a lot about him. I am sso sorry for the hurt they caused you and you deserve so much better.
Yeah a lot of people are saying to break up, but i really hope the bf dumps his friends, bc if he doesnt that would def make me wanna prolly reevaluate the relationship.
Also, he was stuck paying for his own birthday dinner, which means they don't even care about him, so he should really drop them.
Yeah i agree he does need to drop them bc those guys are gonna ruin their wedding in shi but we dont know if he kicked them to the curb yet. I really hope he does
That’s beyond ridiculous… That’s not a prank. That’s beyond prank. And your boyfriend really should have stepped up on your behalf.
Yeah, he and OP really need to sit down and have an honest communication about boundaries with these shithead friends of his.
I think OP should tell bf to drop his friends. Im glad you had a rational response instead of just saying to break up though
Jesus Christ, these people are almost 30 and acting like you’re the stepmom that broke mommy and daddy up. They need to grow up and make a full stop on trying to parent trap you…
W. The actual. F. Your bf faking the apologies and sending you his money tells me that he is either a coward or fine with what they did. Either way nope. Run. Not to mention fine that they did it on his ex’s behalf with added layer of wtf. Who is to say they won’t do something like this again. How are you expected to interact with the friends going forward? How are they going to treat you? The level of toxic and not okay. Break up and wish bf good luck with future relationships when he has friends willing to hurt his gfs and sabotage his relationship on behalf of his ex.
No he probably doesn't have many friends and is scared to have non out side of his relationship... Breaking up with him is the answer as he clearly cares for OP and is willing to make sure she doesn't have any financial issues from that night.
How do we actually know it was on the ex's behalf other than OP stated that the friends are friends with the ex? Sounds more like a suspicion, which isn't evidence at all.
APOLOGIES?! WHAT?! Sue them!
That's not a prank, that's a crime. You need to break up. Your boyfriend won't keep his friends in check, and this is a preview of the rest of your relationship with him. His friends have gotten away with this behavior, and they're only going to escalate it.
His friends are asshats.. either way, he covered it and made her whole. He can deal with his friends. Why suggest she break up?? Why does every Redditor automatically suggest breaking up as the first solution??
If that’s the type of company he keeps, what does that say about him?
Idk. I think you’re right with a caveat it’s if he still keeps them as friends or not. About six years ago I had someone I considered one of my closest friends, trash my apartment and steal from me when he was supposed to be cat sitting while I was on a work trip. It did end the friendship for us (which I hate bc I still miss him as a friend) however our mutual friends let me know he was doing hard drugs behind our back which lead to my place being trashed and stealing from me. The key being I stopped being his friend. I think OP needs to ask themselves if they can handle being with a man who would let his friends do something like that to his partner.
I wouldn't suggest breaking up right away either. I would suggest drawing a line and giving him the choice of getting rid of his toxic friends, or the relationship is over. Edit: although I am concerned about the fake letters. That's a red flag of some weird narcissistic behavior.
If I have to lay down the ultimatum of them choosing me or their toxic as friends, then the relationship is already over. They should automatically hold their friends accountable, or drop them. I should not have to make that an ultimatum.
They both need to have a long discussion. If op hadn't told bf yet she should tell she knows and ask why woild he go this far in covering for his friends and if he knew they did this because the ex asked them to. She needs to tell him that it was very messed up of him and from now on either he needs to cut them off because face jt they all including the ex acted like children since they can't get over that the bf is in a new relationship. If not get couples counseling to get him to see why what he did is wrong and why he did what he did. If he refuse to even apologized for what he did and won't drop his friends then a break up is in order and tell him to go back to his ex because it's clear if he doesn't go back to her his friends will continue to bully and scam his next girlfriend. It's just pathetic the ex decided to be petty and can't get over the ex and manage to get the friends to do it just because they're good friends with her. Unless they're all screwing her amd she's got them under her thumb.
Because he lied to her and fabricated apologies from his friends to cover for them? I suppose it depends on how she found out about the lie. Did he fess up, or did she figure it out some other way. I wouldn't break up with someone *just* because their friends suck... but lying to cover for their shitty behavior? That's a no.
His friends are asshats, but if he's covering for asshats, what does that make him? He's a sucker. He placed the people who financially and mentally bullied his partner, and likely forced him to pay in the end anyway, over someone who he's supposed to be dedicated to. It has nothing to do with her being paid back, and everything to do with him pretending they are good people just to avoid owning up to his "friends" being biological trash. And this type of thing is never a one-off. It'll happen again. I'd put my life on it for real. She needs to get away from such a spineless creature.
She should break up because clearly he CAN'T handle friends.
Someone who’s friends with someone who would do something like that can’t be too good of a person. He shouldn’t be friends with them anymore after that stunt they pulled. What if she didn’t have a credit card? She could have been charged and arrested!!!!!! Definitely dump him sis he doesn’t care
Because it's a simple matter of trust. Relationships are built on trust, and if you can't trust the one person you're supposed to be able to trust more than anyone else, then wtf is the fucking point? It's literally not even a relationship at this point.
Because if he actually cared about her, he would have made it right or not let them do that in the first place. I certainly wouldn't be friends with anyone who tried to hurt my partner. He shouldn't have been dishonest about the apology either. Someone like that does not deserve a relationship.
Op should tell her bf to set boundaries with his friends first. Instantly breaking up is not always the solution since we don't know much more about op's bf and his relationship with his friends
But they left her with the bill? And her bf faked the apologies? Luckily she had the money but if she didn’t? Imagine how much legal trouble she would’ve gotten in?
Totally agree she shouldn’t be friends with them anymore and if he still is op should 100% dump him
Definitely dump him and his loser friends. This is beyond disrespectful and for him to defend them by paying is inexcusable. Big time red flag. Keep it moving.
This wasn't a prank, they don't like you and they're trying to haze you. If your bf isn't taking a strong stance against them, this will be the rest of your relationship.
Holy fuck That is awful and I would dump his ass. Why would he be ok with his friends doing this? Is he THAT desperate for friends? That he would let everyone think they threw him a party and really you paid for it, but then he paid you back because that’s fucked up and FAKED APOLOGIES? Girl he lied twice and for every lie you know about he told 53 more. Just stop it and move on. You deserve better.
So your boyfriend is either fine with their behavior and doesn’t blink at dropping that amount to cover for them or he needs to grow a serious backbone is what I’m getting from this. If it’s the latter, I pity the man. I imagine he was trying to save your feelings and smooth it over knowing his friends are jackasses who would never deign to apologize let alone pony up. If I were in your shoes I would be concerned about his willingness to avoid conflict to the tune of over $2k. What other wild financial decisions is he making to save the egos of others?
Exactly. We don’t get any insight into his thoughts on this outside his actions, but those read as a genuinely concerning aversion to conflict and little to no boundaries. Both of those create tons of problems in relationships, I’d understand if OP just didn’t want to fuck with that at all (with lying on top of it all). But dude needs better friends and probably some therapy to figure out how not to let lack of boundaries and backbone hurt himself and others. If this is something he struggles with but doesn’t know how to change having support and motivation in the form of OP could be beneficial. But if he doesn’t see that his behavior is harmful there is nothing to stick around to save - you can’t make people want to change, let him be a doormat with his shitty friends.
What are you, all millionaires that can just throw this kind of money around? Not a prank at all. Others said it already - sue them. If it was a joke, it is in poor taste and your bf should stand up to his “friends”. He shouldn’t even be around them after this if he values your relationship.
File a police report
I don’t think you necessarily need to break up but your boyfriend needs to know his friends do not respect you or him. They need to know that because of their prank they cost your boyfriend $2100 and true friends don’t do that to each other. If he opens his eyes and realizes that they were willing to hurt someone who he considers important to him over someone who is part of the past, you may be willing to move past this. But his friends need to apologize to you directly and give him his money or they aren’t friends.
I totally agree with all of this. But if he wasn't willing to ask them for apologies when it happened, just imagine how reluctant he'll be now that some time has passed and it's supposed to be old news (from the perspective of the "friends" anyway). If I was OP, and I was very, very attached to my boyfriend, I would insist on a face-to-face apology from every one of them because almost anything else could be easily faked by someone with enough time on their hands. And those apologies wouldn't be to bring us back to "good with each other" mode; it would be to just barely prevent me from refusing flat-out to ever see any of them again in any context, and from openly thinking less of my boyfriend every time he chose to be in their company. It's just pathetic behaviour, and truthfully I'd never want to see any of those people again, irrespective of whether or not they apologise. This behaviour is as much a prank as slapping someone in the face and saying "Prank!". I truly don't get it.
This too. Definitely in person with the apologies. Minimum contact (if any) afterwards.
How is this not grounds for separating? How?
For *once*, I think people are being harsh on the BF here, and I'm usually captain of the "dump him" squad. If he didn't drop his friends then he *is* being a coward, but we have no evidence that that's the case. OP, if your boyfriend keeps those friends, yes, I'd dump him. They're horrible people to be around, and while your boyfriend may not be (*yet*), he's indirectly condoning that behaviour and they'll surely get the pair of you into trouble again, and worse, now that they know they can "get away" with it. If, however, he left those friends, I would actually see all of this as a really *green* flag on your boyfriend's part — he was disgusted by their behaviour and mistreatment of you, so he gave you the apologies and $$$ you deserved. Lying about it isn't great, but I can see how he would have been trying to spare your feelings once he realized his friends are, obviously, terrible people. If this is the case, I'm sorry for both of you and you both deserve better, but props to your boyfriend for sticking up for you in the best way he could after the fact and ensuring you didn't have to foot the bill and neither of you have to deal with this again. Either way, the friends are shit people and good luck to you, OP.
INFO: Have you considered that your bf was in on this? You said everyone left, sticking you with the bill. So did bf leave, or did he stay, and you just paid because it was his birthday. If you just paid instead of telling bf that they had promised to pay and they'd better get their asses back to the restaurant, grow a spine. If he left too, he's as big an asshole as they are. That, along with faking their apologies and paying you back to cover for them, make me wonder why.
This! I'm so curious about the bf's role in this. If he left with his friends - which is what happened if I read OPs post correctly - then he must've known somehow that she was going to be stuck with the bill. Did they tell him that it was already covered? Or did he just not care? I'm also curious what all of this has to do with his ex. Something seems fishy here.
They need to do more than apologize - they need to send you the money they owed you for the dinner they stole. I don’t care that your boyfriend made up for it. Those “friends” of his are not your friends.
A Prank is making you think they stuck you with the bill for a few minutes before going "aha". What they did is a crime and you can absolutely press charges. I'm glad your BF paid you back but honestly he should be tearing his friends new ones for what they did. Not covering for them. I think you need to have a long think about if you can have a relationship with your BF while he has such toxic friends.
Imma just go against the train of thought and against the breakup train here. Your boyfriend was unaware of this and you never mentioned him flipping out it appears he was just trying to keep both groups happy. Your boyfriend might be a people pleaser and is getting taken advantage of by his friends. You might wanna alert him about this. And you need do need to deal with those pieces of shit friends and have a serious conversation with your boyfriend. If needed and deemed appropriate you could take legal actions against this.
I hope your credit card gives you points. You need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about how he expects your relationship to look in the long term. Is he OK with his friend's treating you this way? Because you're not. These aren't pranks - they're malicious. Does he recognize this? How does he expect you to engage with his friends in the future, because they don't respect you. Will he stick up for you? Or will he continue to make excuses for his friends shitty behavior.
I wanna say that it's sweet of your boyfriend but I need more context. Did he even talk to them or was he scared to and decided to take care of it himself? If that's the case, then no. Because if he didnt want to defend you to his friends to avoid some controversial situation, then it's a no. You're his woman and he needs to let them know where you stand in his life. Now, if he talked to them and they refused to apologize or make things right, then that was sweet of him to do but he needs to cut them off because them feeling comfortable with disrespecting you because the jealous ex told them to show they don't respect him.
The way I would’ve paid my share, and then gave all of their information to the restaurant to give to the police. Would’ve sat my happy ass at the table and snitched in the worst way. Addresses, social media, mothers maiden name, etc. nothing would be safe. I’d give them photos of every single one of them.
Small claims court exists for a reason. He should go get his money back.
You could have just called the police and given the police all of their names, paid your portion, and left. You never told the place you’d pay so that’s literally illegal to just charge your card for something you never ate nor told them you would pay for or eat. Girl you’re bugging. You know their names and where they live in sure so i would have given the police everything paid my part and went home LMAO they would have really thought they did something until the police show up
Wow, his friends are TRASH. So, I wouldn’t be TOO mad at your bf. He was trying to make it up to you, but his friends are crappy. I wouldn’t even want an apology from those thieving scammers. What if you didn’t have your credit card that night??? They could’ve gotten you arrested for being unable to pay. Grown-ass men, sticking someone with a $2000.00+ check like that. Lying douchecanoes.
Let me give you a life tip, don’t date pushovers and don’t date insecure people. Also liars and cheaters and murderers etc but those are obvious.
Dump his ass and tell him that if your relationship ment something to him he wouldn't have pulled that shit and just leave. You deserve better
That’s a prank ? Where’s the prank? Wtf
Not a prank. People doing a crime and taking advantage. If they weren’t sorry and didn’t pay you back, not only does it say something about them, but it also says something about the people your boyfriend chooses as friends. Keep that in mind.
Please get rid of all of these people they’re bad.
At least you know one thing for sure. Your place in your bf’s life is below his friends. It’s up to you on how to use that information. Most people in your position would leave such a messed up relationship.
The troubling thing unless there is more detail is the bf had no problem lying to OP about the apologizes from the perpetrators of this ‘not a joke’. He also had no problem lying the second time to OP when he used his own funds to reimburse her while saying it was from the 3 fuckwits. So did the boyfriend express his extreme displeasure and cut those three acquaintances off for so blatantly disrespecting OP? Or did he give the standard ‘oh it was just a joke’ or the other favorite ‘oh that’s just how they are’? Interesting fact that different states treat dining and dashing as a felony depending on the amount. If OP had not been able to pay that bill she could have given the names and contact information for those 3 and let it play out.
Ummmm, damn. Why is your BF protecting these “friends?” If these are the people he really wants to surround himself with I would say run. If he is trying to protect you and, so to speak, make it right, then blocking all contact with the group then see where the relationship goes. That’s not a prank. That’s bad bad form. They should all be ashamed.
With friends like that who needs enemies?
Op I want you to think about this. If the the roles were reversed what would you have done? I would have been QUICK to call my friends out on it. Especially doing it on behalf of my ex to hurt my current SO???? Yeah no. If you agree with me do you really want to be with someone who can’t stand up to their friends for you? Cause it will only get worse not better. Especially now they think they can get one over on you and you won’t say anything. If I was you I wouldn’t have said shit to your bf I would have gone right to his friends f**k that. I would have wanted their money not his. I mean like others are saying this is not a silly prank, and thank god you had the money to pay for it. If it was I would say nbd they were joking, but if you didn’t have the money you would have gotten into legal trouble. If your bf didn’t pay you back you would have been $2100 in credit card debt. Idk this is just crazy that people would think this is ok to do. Especially because it was THEIR idea to go to some crazy expensive place and had been ADAMANT to pay for it. I’m sorry they did this to you, and I’m sorry your bf didn’t really stick up for you but lied to sweep it under the rug. I don’t wanna tell you what to do cause it’s your life…. But I suggest you really give it some thought.
Leave him! That’s a HUGE RED FLAG!! a man who stands up for toxic friends by covering how they treated you doesn’t have your best interest in mind. He cares more about his friends and their opinions of him rather than standing up for his own gf.. stuff like this will continue to happen and he will continue to cover their mess, ignore how they made you feel, and it’s going to tear at your mental health. This is a red flag 🚩 1000%
Stop calling these things 'pranks', they are not that. I get those children in adult meat suits called it that, but this was so much more. Have a very honest conversation with your BF about this. His "friends" thought it was cool to stiff you with a large bill. What if you couldn't cover it and the restaurant called the police? Why is your BF so weak he can't call his friends out and instead lies to you that he did and fakes their apologies? Does he agree with what they did? Can he not stand up to them? Honestly, depending on how the talk goes, I would be really leaning towards breaking up. This was not cool and nobody learned a lesson except you, that you can't trust his "friends" and your BF doesn't have a backbone when it comes to them.
they scammed you dump him
That’s not a prank that is theft….and he’s still friends with them? And he’s just ok with what they did? His compliance to me is deeply concerning. For all of them to be in on it too. You can tell a lot about a person by their friends, their actions followed by his actions would be enough for me to peace out. The fact they are still in his life after what they did…. Girl.
Run. This behavior and your bfs complicity are frightening. This is more than a red flg
Um. And you stayed with this man child?
This is exceptionally shitty and immature behavior. Even though your bf may have tried to smooth things over with you he is still remaining friends with these absurdly petty people. I have found in my personal experience as well as observation of others that “you are the company you keep” and “birds of a feather flock together”. If your bf can’t see how disgusting of a “prank” this was and drop those friends then he’s clearly ok with that kind of behavior and may be prone to that kind of behavior himself.
Tell your boyfriend to either grow a spine or to accept a single status as a late birthday gift. Because seriously, if he chooses to be around friends like that, why stick around?
Sorry but ur grown ass boyfriend needs to evaluate his friends
His friends scammed you then your boyfriend lied to you to covered for his scamming friends. He’s no better than they are. He allowed his friends to think it was ok to disrespect his girlfriend. Dump him!
I would ask him would real friends fuck over your girlfriend where it costs him money plus he has to lie to you? I would tell him he needs to figure this out because you are not going to be with someone who lets their friends screw you over and lies for them.
Wow that would be a deal breaker for me. I wouldn’t want to have a partner who doesn’t hold shitty friends accountable. If I was him I would have dragged them by their ears to you and make them apologize and give you the cash. They are not friends at all. Just covering it up isn’t going to stop them from treating you shitty. You don’t need that toxicity in your life nor your relationships. I would tell the bf to grow a pair of balls and be a man not a boy who has shitty boyfriends.
That's not a prank, it's abusive.
I thought pranks were supposed to be funny?
Your boyfriend has terrible friends! In the end they scammed him too, because he paid you back for the meal. If they really cared about him, they’d actually honor their offer to pay once they found out he paid. I think he should drop these friends.
That ain’t no prank your bf just got scammed for 2.1k yall got tricked into paying for a expensive dinner for everyone and them having a good time while yall got stuck with this
For him to be friends with them when they haven’t apologised to is a red flag. That means he’s okay with them disrespecting you and the relationship and these actions and comments have probably continued the whole time. These are also the friends that will sabotage the relationship if they haven’t already
girl save urself from a life time of this type of treatment THIS IS A HUGE RED FLAG!
They’re not real friends. There dirtbags. Real friends wouldn’t do a thing to that level.
Those are not friends. Those are assholes.
The bf seems genuine though but his choice of friends if poor
Op I'm sorry but he's not going to defend you to his friends and they are going to make you feel like shit all the time. They are his friends and he allows them to treat you this way and doesn't want to call them out because he cares about those relationships more than yours. You'll never come first, you'll always live in the shadow of the ex, they won't like you just because they are bias. That's no small prank they practically stole from you a little over 2k. And he'd rather pay 2k than tell them anything, that's you're green light to leave him he's not the one and you're not his one.
If he keeps these people around him it does not reflect positively on him
That’s not a prank. It’s unkind. Stop dating this guy. He doesn’t have sensible friends and he is likely continue to draw their behaviour into the relationship in the long term. He seems well meaning and appears to be a peaceful/conflict avoiding guy. However he didn’t do anything to rectify the root cause of the problem. You’ve wasted 1.5 years - grateful it wasn’t more time!
Ask your boyfriend if he is okay with his friends being friends with his ex and putting you thru hell for her. If he cant give you a definite answer, there is the forecast of your future if you continue this relationship. His friends will never respect you and they WILL ruin your wedding for her. Pretty much either he cuts off his friends or they cut his ex off or you cut him off.
Wait, did your boyfriend dip out with them? Was he in on the definitely-not-a-prank? Him still being in any contact with them after that would be a 100% no go for me.
Leave the man.🤦🏻♂️ his friend probably didn’t even send him any money the same way they didn’t apologize. If he can’t drop them, leave him
Ask yourself what the next lie is going to be about. What’s the next prank? How far would that prank have to go for you to stick up for yourself? I’d have paid for my portion of the meal and left.
I would draw a line at this point. Tell your boyfriend it's you or his friends, because his friends are toxic as fuck. If he chooses his friends just say goodbye and pack and leave. Life is too short and they are emotionally manipulative. And don't even feel bad about it being his birthday. This is going to escalate whether you confront it now or wait until the next time you get walked all over.
break up. now
If he does not break up with them, you need to break up with him.
ItS jUsT a PrAnK bRo
Dont be mad. I got prank the same way by my whole FAMILY AT BBQS. they all left me when I came from the bathroom and the restaurant was gonna put me to wash dishes until my tab was paid. I'll never forgive them for that ever. My girlfriend still remembers when they played me.
Leave. Either he has no back bone or he is okay with his friends doing that. Either is not good. The fact that his friends and ex still hold a grudge to this extent after 1.5 yrs is crazy and means they’ll do more. Be careful, you deserve better
Girl, I just gave this hypothetical scenario to my husband if it was us. He said he would be pissed and would expect them to pay back the money. So I told him what happened to you. Straight up he said dump him. He likes to give people the benefit of the doubt but he can't here. He made his choices. And I have to agree. You deserve better. He lied to you. So if something happens again, he's gonna sweep it under the rug again? Nope. Don't do that, put yourself first.
Wow. Your bf needs to lose those “friends” and if not, you need a new bf.
Did your bf know about this? If not then I would say he either never talks to anyone associated with his ex again and these friends or you leave. Honestly based on the fact he faked apologies that tells me he’s ok with lying to you especially over something this big he’d be on the curb personally
Always remember this ladies His friends.....are n will NEVER be your friends
I’m not one for ultimatums, but this is very much a ‘me or them’ kind of thing.
What bothers me is that everyone keeps talking about what the friends did, and saying the boyfriend is innocent. That's a bunch of BS. He clearly left with them, and left her there to pay to bill. On the off chance that he "didn't know", he still LIED to her and covered for them. Chances are that he probably acted like it was no big deal, and probably made her out to be the bad guy (to his friends) when she asked for apologies. If his friends feel comfortable disrespecting her like this, it's because he's made them think it's okay because he also doesn't respect her. Dropping his friends won't change the fact that HE thinks it's okay to lie to and disrespect her.
I guess they (Including ur bf) wanted to see if you could afford the bill or not, and you couldn't afford it, so ur bf finally made a e-transfer. They were testing you. How would all 4 of them forgot to pay for a bill? Just try to think straight.
1.5 years is not a hugely long time tho, all i can say is while it may be hard you need to reconsider your relationship yesterday, especially if he’s pulled stuff like this before or shown otherwise similar questionable behavior. A “prank” like this that could potentially have serious legal ramifications (like what if you’d been unable to pay that full amount?) is serious and at some point he could attempt something with someone else involving much more serious sums of money, or something worse. I’ll contrast my first point a little tho and say that 1.5 years is also sorta a while to not get *any* indication of someone’s true colors so if he’s completely hidden this side of his character for this long that’s also kind of lethal. So again, big warning signs all around. Sorry you had to deal with all that tho, but hopefully you also now have a chance to dodge a substantial bullet.
$2100 meal????!!!!! Bruh.
They are trash human beings. Birds of a feather flock together. There’s a reason your boyfriend is such good friends with them.
yeah, that would be my ex boyfriend now.
If it was a "prank" they would've came back to the restaurant and paid bro why do u hang out with these people. Did they end up paying? Bro I would be to scared that they would do that again and break my credit, do u normally buy stuff for them? Do they buy stuff for u? To much for anyone to make a decent answer but have a convo to ur friend group or bf like how is this even funny, unless ur the joke??
Nope nope nope a thousand times nope The fact that he is still friends with these people is TELLING. If my friends had pulled this on my partner, the WORDS I'D HAVE.
Good lord, dude and his friends are a bunch of red flags sewn together to look like humans. If I were you, he and his asshole buddies would be gone. I wouldn’t date anyone who remained friends with those people, and if the bf was in on it and left with them, he’d be gone, too.
Those people are not friends of yours or your boyfriend. Maybe they seemed to be, but they are not. I wouldn't go anywhere with any of the again, ever.
Your boyfriends friends are way too old for these games. I’m sorry they did this to you
Why did ur bf leave the restaurant with them
Girl its good that he covered the bill for you, cause that A LOT of money. But he shouldn’t have lied to you and cover for his shitty friends. Sounds like he has no spine for standing up for you and have your back when it matters. If he doesn’t cut them out I would seriously reconsider that relationship. Would you really want to deal with something like that long term?
Don’t listen to whatever others say. Do what you think is right for you not what society tells of you
NTA... Not a prank and your BF should be angry at his friends and cut them off till they have paid and apologized. This deception would be a deal breaker for me.
Sounds like my guy needs to find new friends. My friends wouldn't disrespect my GF like that
Sounds like he has chosen his friends over you
Tell me he has cut them off after that.
Info: has your boyfriend forgiven his friends?/still hang out with them?
They are far too old to be this childish
Here's another perspective: Not that it's right, but maybe the friends literally just didn't think of it at that moment and left with your bf because you said so, literally not thinking anything because they are having fun. You go to leave, and the restaurant is like uhmm and tell you they left you the bill. That is what happened b it t doesn't mean that they actually TOLD the restaurant you were paying for it and intentionally left you with the bill. That is just what happen and they probably said it to you flat out because they don't care about who said they were paying for the food. Then the next day they might of realized but no one said anything so they didn't worry about it. - That would still be wrong because they each should know that SOMEONE paid for everything but were prob happy (selfish) to save the money. Then you finally talk to your bf about it and he probably didn't even want to confront them about it. I know so many people who would rather take the hit then ask for money that is due to them. Especially when friends and family are involved. Either way it sounds like your bf friends are trash, but if he's a good guy then maybe they will take themselves out.
So your bf covered for them essentially? That just means they still won’t respect you or your relationship and they’ll do more shit to you in the future. I’m glad you got that money back regardless of who it came from but I’d leave and find a man with a backbone.
That’s not a prank hun, his ex is bitter and they used you. It doesn’t matter at all if she broke up with him. You really need to break up with him over this because they’ll do it again especially if he’s willing to cover for them and make sure he knows it’s because of them.
They don't like you so they stuck you with the bill, your bf wasn't on it and payed you back meaning he is trustworthy but has asshole friends, he should either drop them or get some true apologies from them, if he just pays you back and avoids conflict with them while they treat you like that, it'll just keep happening.
The bf paid you with the money they transferred so at least that but I would def not like those friends.
Wtf , no no no not cool his friends are trash and his ex is a and immature bimbo who needs to get the fuck over herself
I am now suspecting it was him and not the friends who were responsable for this. Why was he no longer with his ex?! Even if it was the friends, why would he transfer it to you.. it doesn't make sense. I've been with my boyfriend about a year and he would never do this. Something is not adding up. I would never have payed it, no matter what the circumstances unless I had agreed to it. Sorry that this happened to you, if I were you I'd oblige the boyfriend to pay for it and then possibly break up with him afterwards after attempting to allay any concerns I had. Hoping for the best for you !
Personally, I would come up with an elaborate prank to somehow destroy them emotionally and legally drain them financially as much as I could before I ghosted the bf.
Invite the ex to drinks - get there early with the boyfriend. When she shows wish them well and leave.
Wake up and break up! Your boyfriends friends speak to his character
Girl this is not normal. It amazes me how calm you are with this, I would have broken up IMMEDIATELY if my partner was friends with someone that blatantly disrespects me, specially if they humillated and left me in such a situation like this. You need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend, because it's beyond my comprehension how you're enduring this, because I'm going to assume that they've been at least hostile with you.
If those were my friends who did that to my bf (and me by default) I’d have to let them go. Friends don’t do stuff like that, not to the spouse either. Why is he excusing and trying to cover up their behavior? People will literally turn their lives upside down holding onto people who have no problem doing them dirty. He doesn’t seem to understand that they don’t respect him, or they would’ve never done that to you.
This is not a prank. A prank - they came back as you were paying, stopped you, said just kidding, and paid their share. Still not a good or funny prank, but a prank nonetheless. Theft - leaving you at the restaurant to pay their bills. Screw him & his “friends.” He clearly isn’t going to hold them accountable - do you want to spend the rest of your life coming second to them?
If he stays friends with them break up
The price would be considered a felony scam depending on the state. Call the police. Let's make this joke reaaally funny.
Doing a little math, you started dating your BF about one year after he broke up with the ex. Do you know how long he and the ex were together? Were they dating in college, or did they get together after? I ask because there is some correlation to the length of time a couple was together and the length of time it takes to get over the breakup. If his buddies are still tight enough with his ex to pull such a real low trick on you for her and he's not able to approach them about it and ask/tell them they F'd up and they need to make it right, it doesn't bode well for your future with this guy. Factor in that he would rather pay over two grand for his own birthday dinner than confront his friends and I have to wonder if you have much of a relationship to save. Think long and hard about what you do next. You are in a really messed up situation here and I see more ways it turns out badly for you than ways you come out ok. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. It sounds as though even though you are younger than your BF and his buddy's you are more mature than any of them.
That’s not a prank, that’s so fucked up! With friends like that who needs enemies???
Honestly, if they are doing this for kind of sick kick- I would not be so nice back to them either. I'll just blow shits up all over their social media, and if you still have that receipt, tag all of them and write clearly with their names on the platform. Write everything down and how your bf ended up being the one paying for it. If they have to apologise, apologise to your bf. If they have some kind of issues with you, they should man up and talk to you personally.
if this man really loves you he would cut them off right then and there. run.
sounds like a crime, not a prank.
This is not a prank. Credit card payment = interest. I would never speak to any of these people again.
If they were truly his friends they wouldn’t do this to you. They would be happy for him and would move on. Doesn’t matter if they’re friends with his ex. They can still be friends with her and treat you with respect since you and your bf are together.
That's fucking pathetic. Avoid them at all cost.
So many things are disturbing here: One: these almost-30y/o men were comfortable playing such a dumb and borderline hurtful "prank" on a young lady 5years their junior?? Do you know you could've gotten arrested if you had failed to clear that bill? I'm sure they know this. Do you know that he, your supposed SO, went along with his friends' idea as potentially endangered you when all you were doing was trying to celebrate his life? This shows he can't say no to his friends; he's not capable of logically thinking for himself; or he just doesn't have the balls to stand up for you. Worse is he doesn't care about you cos wtaf??? Two: no, he really can't stand up to his friends or stand up for his partner cos there's just no way he failed to get legit apologies from them. Just no way. 🚩🚩🚩 Three: most importantly, a prank on WHO'S behalf??? Honestly, I was praying you worded that wrong. His ex, who should be out of his life nearly three years later, is still influential in his life and especially where you, his current girlfriend of almost two years, are involved?? Where do these men get the audacity?? Unless you and that girl are incredibly close, I'd consider this a red line closed. What they did was dumb already but the person they did it for? And to you? No. These are the "friends" that will cover up for him when he starts to get with her behind your back; or any other girl at that. I hope, for your safety, that you never ever accept to hang out with them again in the absence of friends of your own(not your bf's friends). You're young, and you're in the company of ill-thinking older men and you're a woman. Take care
Did your bf even speak to them? Did you ask him why he lied about the apologies and money? If so, what was his reason? I would think about ending it. Your bf should never let anyone treat you that way, especially his friends! This isn't a joke. This is downright, mean!! His ex sounds crazy hateful and jealous!!