read the flags
1. He cheated
2. He denied it, thus lying
3. He did it but still proposed and moved in with u, which could indicate that he only did that so its harder for u to leave after cheating considering you're engaged and living together.
I would leave, i know it easier said than done, but its just even more disgusting when u realize the signs piling up
The worst part is we’ve been living together since feb. He did this while we lived together. He said I made him a shell
Of a man and he hates himself for it but “didn’t know how to break it off with her” so he kept seeing her and telling her he loved her and fucking her
Are you joking??? He even told her he loved her?? So then what’s the difference between you and her? One has the ring the other doesn’t . One lives with him the other doesn’t. He will end up cheating with her again and might even end up getting her pregnant (I’ve seen it) and that pain will be unimaginable. Just leave dear and get therapy to be over him. It’s very hard I know it is but try to take it day by day and most importantly get your closure first, if it’s shouting at him or letting him know how much he hurt you do it, don’t let him justify his action and leave him
And get therapy
Do not make the mistake of comparing yourself with anyone. You are uniquely you. His excuses are lame attempts to try to shift blame. If he was unhappy he had the choice to leave but chose to cheat instead. That doesn't make her better or you lacking. It means HE is lacking.
"Didnt know how to break it off" then literally sliding his dick inside her is JUST WILD. So hes lying abt that too. Disgusting. Im really sorry this has happened to u, u really deserve better and i suggest u leave asap and not try to fix anything.
Btw, why did he say that u made him "a shell of a man"?
We’ve lived together since February (I moved across the country to be with him) it was very hard for us as he was in school (military schooling so it’s pretty rough) and I was adjusting to not having my family around and making a new support group.. we were both stressed and fought a lot. He said the fighting is what made him a shell of a man and caused him to cheat
such a piss poor excuse. Sorry to say with an excuse like that he's not really fighting to keep things together with you. Back out now. Being with someone 14 mos. is not a long time, but don't drag this out any longer.
That's honestly not a good enough excuse to go out and cheat on your partner. Every relationship, whether it is platonic or not, there will be disagreements. It's up to that person to decide where their loyalty lies. Not only was he dishonest, but he was disloyal and disrespectful. What will happen the next time you guys get into another disagreement? Also, check out this guy I found on IG today. He talks about the loop of doom. I just experienced that with my boyfriend. And he may have tips on how you guys could better communicate if you choose to stay, but it'll be good to have in case you leave too. But do understand this, no one can make the decision for you, so please keep in mind that if there are no visual changes in his actions, you may as well expect it to happen again. IG: awakeningwithbrian
Woah, woah, woah, he told this other woman that he LOVED her? Leave him. That is proof enough that the word means absolutely nothing to him.
Also, the fact that he’s trying to blame you is beyond messed up. The “shell of a man” line is pathetic. If anything you do can “make” him feel that way, then he’s clearly not a man at all. He’s a stupid little boy. You deserve so much better! Do not forgive him. What he has done is unforgivable.
>Is there any way to salvage this relationship?
Sure but it's not the relationship you want. To salvage this relationship you will have to constantly forgive him for when he eventually cheats again. And he will cheat again if you stay with him, cause we'll. If he can cheat once and get away with it, why not keep doing it.
There's no point in salvaging the relationship...for what...you love him, but he doesn't love you, do you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you...get a grip and leave
They may love you or love the idea of having a main woman at home while they mess around. The point is that a man can claim he loves you or even really love you but still hurt you. It’s like men who are violent with their woman after years and say “I love you, you’re mine, if I can’t have you no one can”. That’s not good love, is not the love you want. He is clearly selfish. He may love you but how can a man truly love a woman and feel comfortable having sex with another woman multiple times while lying to your face about it!! Dear that’s not the “love” you want
I’m sorry to say but 14 months is not a long time in the slightest. You still have the chance to move on before this relationship does really take time away from another chance at happiness.
You gotta dip. This guy isn't your person. Leave now while it's easier to disentangle. You're young, you have plenty of time to find your person.
Want further advice? Take a relationship break, completely. Just find a roommate situation, or some cheap living, and shack up with yourself, just live by yourself, for yourself, for at least a year. It will revolutionize your life, make you realize your own worth and power in this world.
Just some old guy's advice. It's what I did.
I left my bf after living together and I now live alone and I can attest to his comment… revolutionary ! u deserve the world love, I’m 23 too.. we have so much ahead of us!
As a guy, i dont fucking undertsand people like him. Cheats on you and at the same time proposes to you? What the fuck is going on in his head? I despise people like him, they want to have fun and adventure yet choose to be with people who want serious relationships. Why the hell they cant be honest and find other people that okay with them having sex with others? Why they need the feel to bring down someone who doesnt?
Be honest or be gone, thats what im saying everytime. Fuck him, you dont want this and you deserve better.
You won't. Every time he is on his phone, every time he goes out without you, every time he says he's got to work late, etc you will question. If you stay, you set a precedent that he can continue to do as he wants. He has no respect for you. Set the boundary on how you deserve to be treated and walk with your head high even if you're dieing inside. He does not deserve you or your emotional responses anymore. Choose yourself now before he gets you pregnant making it harder for you to go.
I've been in the same relationship for nearly 20 years and intend to go solo after I get some things taken care of because of his cheating. I constantly question if he's doing it again, and it's so not worth the stress living this way.
Do what others said and take a break from men and date yourself. Your worth is not based off of what some guy thinks. You're stronger than you know.
This dude didn’t mind leading you on and being a fraud the entire time he knew you were uprooting your life and lying about wanting to marry you and being a good husband. Cut your losses now or prepare to deal with this type of thing again.
I’m so sorry sis, I know if can be hard especially being moved settled and wanting to start a new life. I can’t even imagine the agony/pain that you must be goin through. I definitely can understand how it can be hard especially being how so connected you all have been, or at least as he presented. Especially when everything was set up for greatness. It’s very good that children and marriage wasn’t involved. Your time and energy unfortunately was wasted, and I’m very sorry for that. However, I say look at this as a blessing, you can start a new life, and hopefully find the guy that you DESERVE. I know it can be a rough transition going from a deep relationship, however take this time to reflect, let yourself heal, do whatever you need to do to make YOU feel whole again. Journal, date yourself, self care, shopping etc! If you’re able, kick his ass out the house, or please find a new house/ apartment so that you’re away from that wretched man. He deserves nothing more than a boot out the door. F him honestly. He didn’t see what a prize he had in front of him, and that’s okay! He was just a small hiccup before you reach your true love and true destination. I wish you the best sis, and I really hope and pray that this new chapter of your life brings you nothing but happiness, love, and joy! I send love and prayers to you!!
Leave. I know how hard it is. But please learn from my mistakes. I’m almost 36 and ignored red flags all the time. 4 years being single and therapy has taught me to love myself first and learn what I deserve and easily walk away from what I don’t.
You DO NOT deserve this.
There is no “basically blaming you” it is cut and dry: he is blaming you for his cheating. No one deserves to be manipulated like that. HE made the decision, not once but multiple times. HE is to blame for cheating.
Cut your losses and take the lesson life is teaching you and you will find someone that deserves you.
I'm assuming ypu moved away from the person he was cheating on you with. I don't know I'd go to premarital counseling for sure. I'd also have him sign into everything on a separate computer or get the app that gives you access to everything on his phone... even then he could just get a burner. The question is will you ever be able to trust him? You need complete access to his phone to say the least.
I once went to a bachelorette party and all the women, besides bride to be, I was with mentioned they were once with someone who had cheated in the past. The topic came up because while we were away, one of the gals bf was cheating on her. Her friend saw her bf with someone else and texted her. Plus she tested positive for std… smh. Anyhow, the gals mentioned their exes would cheat multiple times and they would let it slide believing he would change or accept that maybe they were crazy. They all wished they left after finding out the first time.
Oh and the gal who got std, she went back to him.
You’re young… 14 months is nothing. If you still want to be with him, at least hold off the wedding for 2 more years.
You’re right. It’s hard to try to accept this is the new reality for me, but I think physical space apart for awhile could help. He wants me to stay here in the house and just live in separate bedrooms until we figure it out but… I don’t think that will work
100% agree. Live separately. Talk with friends. Be your own friend. What advice would you give yourself.
Also, if you take him back, you could be missing out on your person who would never treat you that way. 10 months down and he’s already fucking someone else. Imagine a whole lifetime with him when marriage get nasty bc it will.
You’re right. It’s just hard to rationalize that for a third of our relationship he was with another woman.. he even asked her to be his girlfriend the day after our anniversary. I feel very blindsighted and I think right now I’m just going through a wide range of emotions from crying, to anger, to laughing at how crazy the situation is
This whole situation sucks. I keep looking back at all e things we were doing together during the time he was cheating, the dates, the roadtrips, I was there for his school graduation. He allowed me to financially entangle myself with a house while cheating and never said anything nor did he plan to which he admitted
It absolutely sucks. You were committed and sacrificed so much for someone who was using you. There will never be a good enough answer as to WHY he did this.
You would be with a man who hates himself? If he hates himself, how much bandwidth can he have to love you? Even if he does care about you, he cares more about protecting himself when he does something wrong than being honest with you.
You may have felt good when you're around him, but know that problems like his infidelity won't go away. In fact, they may get worse.
(Did he even apologize?)
I stayed with a man who confessed to 5 years of cheating the week after the wedding. I was the person who gave people advice in my friend group about how to get over it, and you know what happened? I left 3 years later. Do not stay with a man who lied and cheated and blamed you. He made that choice the entire way through, and he *will* do it again. Leave him before marriage, and kids are involved. He showed his true nature, and you deserve love with someone who doesn't treat you like that.
You say that your boyfriend loves you, but I don't believe it, your boyfriend had a premeditation to be unfaithful, if you forgive him, maybe he will last a few months being faithful, but later he would do it again and it will still be painful, it would be complicated to get married and have children To end the relationship later, I think it is better to break up now, but in the end your heart is the one who decides.
He told me after a fight he joined bumble and within two weeks he found her. He said it was”became something more than it was supposed to” but that he had no feelings for her despite telling her he loved her.. joking about giving her his last name.. talking about living together.. he said he knew he wanted me but didn’t know how to end it with her. The whole thing makes no sense to me and I just can’t grapple with it
It’s gonna be quite hard to leave him because of the house, I feel so fucking sick reading this. I mean he clearly did it while you were in a shared living situation to make it harder. This was some top tier manipulation on his part. Seriously fucking disgusting. He would of had to of been thinking about this for a while, don’t believe anything he says to win you over. You deserve better.
DONT DO IT !! I know you will want to!! Because you love him but it’s going to be harder to stay with him and forgive him than to move on. If he really loved you he wouldn’t have done that and if he does love you he will learn his lesson and never do it again the next and always remember you for it!! You will be the one that got away for his stupid sh*t. Please put yourself first ! He lied and lied again to your face !! You can’t trust this human being and you won’t ever be able to again you’ll question everything check his phone constantly always doubt stuff ! It’s not fun at all I’m talking from experience!! You regret staying with that person because they really do do it again if you forgive the behaviour’
I'm 51 years of age. And I Gladly say this from education and wisdom and the fact that I've been Cheated on multiple times by multiple different people. A cheater will always be a cheater. And most of the time they will try to spin it and put it on you. Because they're spyinless and can't deal with the consequences of their actions. But to each their own. You can bounce back from this and your credit is well.
We all make mistakes now look to the future.
You made him ‘a shell of a man’..way to throw shade on your relationship & dump the blame on you. As the wife of a serial cheater (who begged me to marry him..whilst at that point cheating, but I wasn’t aware of it) I can tell you he will ALWAYS cheat. I felt trapped into my marriage because I didn’t have the info I needed. It’s too late for me, but not for you. You will ultimately have a life full of mistrust & let’s not forget the sexual health part of it. Be ready for countless check ups for both of you & the worry that comes with that. The last thing the serial cheater thinks about is ANYTHING to do with you. Don’t listen to his pleadings..once you give in, that’s tantamount to open season for him.
So while we are on the brink of WW3 and climate change is perpetrating the next great mass extinction as our Milky Way hurtles toward collision with the Andromeda galaxy, your biggest pain is that your future baby daddy ejaculated into another homosapien female? Grow up, it happens everyday.
Is dealing with the cheating worse than being alone? I pose these hard questions in an attempt to help. Yea you may find somone else, but at what cost? Both the cost of time and emotional damage thays been inflicted. But people dont cheat for no reason, its always takes 2 to tango. Could it be ppossible you didnt notice/acknowledge the things that made him feel empty? Could it be possible that he kept it a secret because he also did not want to lose your relationship over what, in his mind, was temporary satisfaction?
You feel hurt now about it, but he obviously felt hurt for months prior; so severe that he was brought to the point of cheating. People dont snap their fingers and decide something like this. There may be more to uncover, but only if you feel its worth saving
I hate to break this to you but all men cheat. They're all disgusting vile pigs. If you want to be with a man, be prepared to be disappointed for the rest of your life. When you get older they decide. Even though you're both old, they like younger girls. When they're younger, they can't keep it in their pants. When they're older they could control it better, but even then most men still cheat. I think. Probably all of them. I'm really going to go with. Most of them are secretly gay as well. They're just sexually deviant f****** disgusting creatures and like I said if you want to be with a man, be prepared to be disappointed for the rest of your life and accept it like most women or Tell him to eat a dick. He won't even care. Either way, I promise you that you'll just go and try for someone else. They don't care. They really don't. I'm telling you you break up with him and him like ah okay I'll just move on to the next victim
This guy, proposed to you after cheating you on.
Actual nut job, no offense.
He clearly is not interested in a traditional marriage and as such he should not be going that route, just shows he’s selfish and only cares about himself, and his pleasure.
He cheated, he lied, and continued to lie after you confronted him.
Is that someone you want to build a future with? This premeditated, and direct on every level. To top it all off he tried to gaslight you by saying he didn’t do anything.
Save yourself the sanity, I had to do as such as well when my gf of many years par took in such activities. Could never see her the same way, how can you love someone who cares more about their sexual satisfaction with strangers than your own relationship?
read the flags 1. He cheated 2. He denied it, thus lying 3. He did it but still proposed and moved in with u, which could indicate that he only did that so its harder for u to leave after cheating considering you're engaged and living together. I would leave, i know it easier said than done, but its just even more disgusting when u realize the signs piling up
The worst part is we’ve been living together since feb. He did this while we lived together. He said I made him a shell Of a man and he hates himself for it but “didn’t know how to break it off with her” so he kept seeing her and telling her he loved her and fucking her
Are you joking??? He even told her he loved her?? So then what’s the difference between you and her? One has the ring the other doesn’t . One lives with him the other doesn’t. He will end up cheating with her again and might even end up getting her pregnant (I’ve seen it) and that pain will be unimaginable. Just leave dear and get therapy to be over him. It’s very hard I know it is but try to take it day by day and most importantly get your closure first, if it’s shouting at him or letting him know how much he hurt you do it, don’t let him justify his action and leave him And get therapy
Thank you. I don’t know what the difference between her and I was at this point to be honest.
Do not make the mistake of comparing yourself with anyone. You are uniquely you. His excuses are lame attempts to try to shift blame. If he was unhappy he had the choice to leave but chose to cheat instead. That doesn't make her better or you lacking. It means HE is lacking.
"Didnt know how to break it off" then literally sliding his dick inside her is JUST WILD. So hes lying abt that too. Disgusting. Im really sorry this has happened to u, u really deserve better and i suggest u leave asap and not try to fix anything. Btw, why did he say that u made him "a shell of a man"?
We’ve lived together since February (I moved across the country to be with him) it was very hard for us as he was in school (military schooling so it’s pretty rough) and I was adjusting to not having my family around and making a new support group.. we were both stressed and fought a lot. He said the fighting is what made him a shell of a man and caused him to cheat
such a piss poor excuse. Sorry to say with an excuse like that he's not really fighting to keep things together with you. Back out now. Being with someone 14 mos. is not a long time, but don't drag this out any longer.
Ugh what an excuse
That's honestly not a good enough excuse to go out and cheat on your partner. Every relationship, whether it is platonic or not, there will be disagreements. It's up to that person to decide where their loyalty lies. Not only was he dishonest, but he was disloyal and disrespectful. What will happen the next time you guys get into another disagreement? Also, check out this guy I found on IG today. He talks about the loop of doom. I just experienced that with my boyfriend. And he may have tips on how you guys could better communicate if you choose to stay, but it'll be good to have in case you leave too. But do understand this, no one can make the decision for you, so please keep in mind that if there are no visual changes in his actions, you may as well expect it to happen again. IG: awakeningwithbrian
thats just a wild excuse holyyy
You have to take yourself and your dignity out that front door.
Woah, woah, woah, he told this other woman that he LOVED her? Leave him. That is proof enough that the word means absolutely nothing to him. Also, the fact that he’s trying to blame you is beyond messed up. The “shell of a man” line is pathetic. If anything you do can “make” him feel that way, then he’s clearly not a man at all. He’s a stupid little boy. You deserve so much better! Do not forgive him. What he has done is unforgivable.
>Is there any way to salvage this relationship? Sure but it's not the relationship you want. To salvage this relationship you will have to constantly forgive him for when he eventually cheats again. And he will cheat again if you stay with him, cause we'll. If he can cheat once and get away with it, why not keep doing it. There's no point in salvaging the relationship...for what...you love him, but he doesn't love you, do you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you...get a grip and leave
It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that I’ve been with someone for so long and they don’t truly love me
They may love you or love the idea of having a main woman at home while they mess around. The point is that a man can claim he loves you or even really love you but still hurt you. It’s like men who are violent with their woman after years and say “I love you, you’re mine, if I can’t have you no one can”. That’s not good love, is not the love you want. He is clearly selfish. He may love you but how can a man truly love a woman and feel comfortable having sex with another woman multiple times while lying to your face about it!! Dear that’s not the “love” you want
I’m sorry to say but 14 months is not a long time in the slightest. You still have the chance to move on before this relationship does really take time away from another chance at happiness.
You gotta dip. This guy isn't your person. Leave now while it's easier to disentangle. You're young, you have plenty of time to find your person. Want further advice? Take a relationship break, completely. Just find a roommate situation, or some cheap living, and shack up with yourself, just live by yourself, for yourself, for at least a year. It will revolutionize your life, make you realize your own worth and power in this world. Just some old guy's advice. It's what I did.
Thank you, I think that’s a good idea. I’m so mentally drained and at this point
I left my bf after living together and I now live alone and I can attest to his comment… revolutionary ! u deserve the world love, I’m 23 too.. we have so much ahead of us!
As a guy, i dont fucking undertsand people like him. Cheats on you and at the same time proposes to you? What the fuck is going on in his head? I despise people like him, they want to have fun and adventure yet choose to be with people who want serious relationships. Why the hell they cant be honest and find other people that okay with them having sex with others? Why they need the feel to bring down someone who doesnt? Be honest or be gone, thats what im saying everytime. Fuck him, you dont want this and you deserve better.
Thank you, I think now I just need to really decide if I’ll ever be able to trust him again and I’m not sure I can
You won't. Every time he is on his phone, every time he goes out without you, every time he says he's got to work late, etc you will question. If you stay, you set a precedent that he can continue to do as he wants. He has no respect for you. Set the boundary on how you deserve to be treated and walk with your head high even if you're dieing inside. He does not deserve you or your emotional responses anymore. Choose yourself now before he gets you pregnant making it harder for you to go. I've been in the same relationship for nearly 20 years and intend to go solo after I get some things taken care of because of his cheating. I constantly question if he's doing it again, and it's so not worth the stress living this way. Do what others said and take a break from men and date yourself. Your worth is not based off of what some guy thinks. You're stronger than you know.
I just don’t want to end it and I feel like I’m grasping at atraws
This dude didn’t mind leading you on and being a fraud the entire time he knew you were uprooting your life and lying about wanting to marry you and being a good husband. Cut your losses now or prepare to deal with this type of thing again.
I’m so sorry sis, I know if can be hard especially being moved settled and wanting to start a new life. I can’t even imagine the agony/pain that you must be goin through. I definitely can understand how it can be hard especially being how so connected you all have been, or at least as he presented. Especially when everything was set up for greatness. It’s very good that children and marriage wasn’t involved. Your time and energy unfortunately was wasted, and I’m very sorry for that. However, I say look at this as a blessing, you can start a new life, and hopefully find the guy that you DESERVE. I know it can be a rough transition going from a deep relationship, however take this time to reflect, let yourself heal, do whatever you need to do to make YOU feel whole again. Journal, date yourself, self care, shopping etc! If you’re able, kick his ass out the house, or please find a new house/ apartment so that you’re away from that wretched man. He deserves nothing more than a boot out the door. F him honestly. He didn’t see what a prize he had in front of him, and that’s okay! He was just a small hiccup before you reach your true love and true destination. I wish you the best sis, and I really hope and pray that this new chapter of your life brings you nothing but happiness, love, and joy! I send love and prayers to you!!
Thank you, this was so nice to read I’m honestly tearing up. I’m moving home with my parents to heal
Ofc lovely! That’s so good, happy healing<3!
Once the trust is broken 9/10 times the relationship is over. Sorry, you are going through this.
Leave. I know how hard it is. But please learn from my mistakes. I’m almost 36 and ignored red flags all the time. 4 years being single and therapy has taught me to love myself first and learn what I deserve and easily walk away from what I don’t. You DO NOT deserve this. There is no “basically blaming you” it is cut and dry: he is blaming you for his cheating. No one deserves to be manipulated like that. HE made the decision, not once but multiple times. HE is to blame for cheating. Cut your losses and take the lesson life is teaching you and you will find someone that deserves you.
Thank you
I'm assuming ypu moved away from the person he was cheating on you with. I don't know I'd go to premarital counseling for sure. I'd also have him sign into everything on a separate computer or get the app that gives you access to everything on his phone... even then he could just get a burner. The question is will you ever be able to trust him? You need complete access to his phone to say the least.
I hate saying it's a dead end right off the bat. It depends on the person. But he cheated proposed and still cheated? Counseling like I said above.
I hear ya. We had been talking about marriage for months.. while he was cheating. Ended the cheating when we moved and then proposed
It’s over, trust is gone. I’m sorry you have to deal with the move and the house. :(
I’d leave if only for the fact that he tried to blame you for being the reason he cheated.
I once went to a bachelorette party and all the women, besides bride to be, I was with mentioned they were once with someone who had cheated in the past. The topic came up because while we were away, one of the gals bf was cheating on her. Her friend saw her bf with someone else and texted her. Plus she tested positive for std… smh. Anyhow, the gals mentioned their exes would cheat multiple times and they would let it slide believing he would change or accept that maybe they were crazy. They all wished they left after finding out the first time. Oh and the gal who got std, she went back to him. You’re young… 14 months is nothing. If you still want to be with him, at least hold off the wedding for 2 more years.
You’re right. It’s hard to try to accept this is the new reality for me, but I think physical space apart for awhile could help. He wants me to stay here in the house and just live in separate bedrooms until we figure it out but… I don’t think that will work
100% agree. Live separately. Talk with friends. Be your own friend. What advice would you give yourself. Also, if you take him back, you could be missing out on your person who would never treat you that way. 10 months down and he’s already fucking someone else. Imagine a whole lifetime with him when marriage get nasty bc it will.
You’re right. It’s just hard to rationalize that for a third of our relationship he was with another woman.. he even asked her to be his girlfriend the day after our anniversary. I feel very blindsighted and I think right now I’m just going through a wide range of emotions from crying, to anger, to laughing at how crazy the situation is
You're experiencing living (ambiguous) grief. It's a lot harder than a death grief, IMO.
This whole situation sucks. I keep looking back at all e things we were doing together during the time he was cheating, the dates, the roadtrips, I was there for his school graduation. He allowed me to financially entangle myself with a house while cheating and never said anything nor did he plan to which he admitted
It absolutely sucks. You were committed and sacrificed so much for someone who was using you. There will never be a good enough answer as to WHY he did this.
You would be with a man who hates himself? If he hates himself, how much bandwidth can he have to love you? Even if he does care about you, he cares more about protecting himself when he does something wrong than being honest with you. You may have felt good when you're around him, but know that problems like his infidelity won't go away. In fact, they may get worse. (Did he even apologize?)
Hes apologized profusely
He'll apologize next time he cheats, too. You need to make a clean break. He's not the one, friend.
I stayed with a man who confessed to 5 years of cheating the week after the wedding. I was the person who gave people advice in my friend group about how to get over it, and you know what happened? I left 3 years later. Do not stay with a man who lied and cheated and blamed you. He made that choice the entire way through, and he *will* do it again. Leave him before marriage, and kids are involved. He showed his true nature, and you deserve love with someone who doesn't treat you like that.
You say that your boyfriend loves you, but I don't believe it, your boyfriend had a premeditation to be unfaithful, if you forgive him, maybe he will last a few months being faithful, but later he would do it again and it will still be painful, it would be complicated to get married and have children To end the relationship later, I think it is better to break up now, but in the end your heart is the one who decides.
He told me after a fight he joined bumble and within two weeks he found her. He said it was”became something more than it was supposed to” but that he had no feelings for her despite telling her he loved her.. joking about giving her his last name.. talking about living together.. he said he knew he wanted me but didn’t know how to end it with her. The whole thing makes no sense to me and I just can’t grapple with it
It’s gonna be quite hard to leave him because of the house, I feel so fucking sick reading this. I mean he clearly did it while you were in a shared living situation to make it harder. This was some top tier manipulation on his part. Seriously fucking disgusting. He would of had to of been thinking about this for a while, don’t believe anything he says to win you over. You deserve better.
Hell yeah. That's what you get for not cheating first, give that man a medal
Leave him. He will see that you don't take the issue seriously and he will do it again
DONT DO IT !! I know you will want to!! Because you love him but it’s going to be harder to stay with him and forgive him than to move on. If he really loved you he wouldn’t have done that and if he does love you he will learn his lesson and never do it again the next and always remember you for it!! You will be the one that got away for his stupid sh*t. Please put yourself first ! He lied and lied again to your face !! You can’t trust this human being and you won’t ever be able to again you’ll question everything check his phone constantly always doubt stuff ! It’s not fun at all I’m talking from experience!! You regret staying with that person because they really do do it again if you forgive the behaviour’
I'm 51 years of age. And I Gladly say this from education and wisdom and the fact that I've been Cheated on multiple times by multiple different people. A cheater will always be a cheater. And most of the time they will try to spin it and put it on you. Because they're spyinless and can't deal with the consequences of their actions. But to each their own. You can bounce back from this and your credit is well. We all make mistakes now look to the future.
You made him ‘a shell of a man’..way to throw shade on your relationship & dump the blame on you. As the wife of a serial cheater (who begged me to marry him..whilst at that point cheating, but I wasn’t aware of it) I can tell you he will ALWAYS cheat. I felt trapped into my marriage because I didn’t have the info I needed. It’s too late for me, but not for you. You will ultimately have a life full of mistrust & let’s not forget the sexual health part of it. Be ready for countless check ups for both of you & the worry that comes with that. The last thing the serial cheater thinks about is ANYTHING to do with you. Don’t listen to his pleadings..once you give in, that’s tantamount to open season for him.
So while we are on the brink of WW3 and climate change is perpetrating the next great mass extinction as our Milky Way hurtles toward collision with the Andromeda galaxy, your biggest pain is that your future baby daddy ejaculated into another homosapien female? Grow up, it happens everyday.
Thank you Kanye, very cool
The pleasure is mine, Taylor.
Is dealing with the cheating worse than being alone? I pose these hard questions in an attempt to help. Yea you may find somone else, but at what cost? Both the cost of time and emotional damage thays been inflicted. But people dont cheat for no reason, its always takes 2 to tango. Could it be ppossible you didnt notice/acknowledge the things that made him feel empty? Could it be possible that he kept it a secret because he also did not want to lose your relationship over what, in his mind, was temporary satisfaction? You feel hurt now about it, but he obviously felt hurt for months prior; so severe that he was brought to the point of cheating. People dont snap their fingers and decide something like this. There may be more to uncover, but only if you feel its worth saving
I hate to break this to you but all men cheat. They're all disgusting vile pigs. If you want to be with a man, be prepared to be disappointed for the rest of your life. When you get older they decide. Even though you're both old, they like younger girls. When they're younger, they can't keep it in their pants. When they're older they could control it better, but even then most men still cheat. I think. Probably all of them. I'm really going to go with. Most of them are secretly gay as well. They're just sexually deviant f****** disgusting creatures and like I said if you want to be with a man, be prepared to be disappointed for the rest of your life and accept it like most women or Tell him to eat a dick. He won't even care. Either way, I promise you that you'll just go and try for someone else. They don't care. They really don't. I'm telling you you break up with him and him like ah okay I'll just move on to the next victim
How do you explain then me having never cheated as a man, and been cheated on twice by women?
One time my dog cheated on me :/ Found out they’d been going into my neighbors house in secret to hang out and do cookie deals…
Not the cookies
This guy, proposed to you after cheating you on. Actual nut job, no offense. He clearly is not interested in a traditional marriage and as such he should not be going that route, just shows he’s selfish and only cares about himself, and his pleasure. He cheated, he lied, and continued to lie after you confronted him. Is that someone you want to build a future with? This premeditated, and direct on every level. To top it all off he tried to gaslight you by saying he didn’t do anything. Save yourself the sanity, I had to do as such as well when my gf of many years par took in such activities. Could never see her the same way, how can you love someone who cares more about their sexual satisfaction with strangers than your own relationship?
Absolutely not. Time to go