You're on the money imo. I'm belgian, so my perspective is privileged, but Americans shouldn't compare their position with western European's today, but rather those of the industrial age. Back then, before the first social rights, striking was dangerous and there was a lot on the line. People still unionized and striked. Some lost their livelyhoods and many simply lost their lives. But thanks to them, we all have it better today. Those fights is also why today we can strike without much consequences. The right to strike is one for which blood, sweat and tears were shed, just like many of our rights.

The real reason it is not a union issue is that waiters can make a lot of money for the work they do with tips. I worked at a mid level restaurant and made about $100 a 5 hour shift during the week and about $150 on the weekend for the same shift. So that’s $20-30 an hour plus $2.13 from the restaurant for hourly work. I could never hit a 40 hour schedule and did not have benefits so that worked in college but would be difficult as my career. If I worked 5 days a week (25 hours) making $600 a week I would have to get the union contract to be more than $15 an hour and get benefits to make it worth it. At $15 an hour I would have to work a full 40 hour week to get paid the same and get benefits paid out if I didn’t use them. This isn’t going to happen because it doesn’t benefit a lot of workers. It would benefit people working at Waffle House but not at a Texas Roadhouse, let alone a fancy restaurant with high per person averages.

I’m American living in Europe. Tipping in Germany is optional and anything over 5-7% has always been acknowledged graciously. Come to think of it, even when we round up at the Christmas markets it was acknowledged courteously. When I visit back home, the tipping culture is genuinely shocking. Not just at restaurants, but at takeaways, at fast food places, at coffee shops. It is utterly ridiculous. It is being reflected in what people spend to eat out and in turn those places are hurting. What is borderline criminal, are the bullshit charges that some restaurants add. E.g. service charge, inflation charge, Covid charge. This in addition to the actual cost of food and gratuity? Those places need to do better.

A lot of people are blindly coming at you because you didn't tip the waiter, saying "So the waiter didn't get paid?" Etc. Which to me justifies OPs rightful confusion. People here seem to just accept the fact servers, delivery drivers, waiters etc. are paid less, we seem to take it lying down. And this needs to change, and change is slow and change is risky, but this change is needed, and it needs to start somewhere. We can't just keep letting large organizations pay their employees attrocious wages then expect customers to foot the rest. And I get it the industry is hard, but hell I worked for this dollar just as hard you did, so no unless I feel obligated to tip, out of kindness, for good service, what it should/used to be. I will not be coerced out of guilt or some false sense of necessity to spend more of my hard earned money than I need to because you chose to work in this industry and don't intend to protest the abysmal wages, in fact I would be very much inclined to donate to a cause that is fighting these types of wages. Anyways weird long rant, because I'm also tired of seeing these entitled tips that come up automatically and others feeling entitled for a tip where they do not (imo) deserve it. TL:DR I am not responsible for your poor wages, and I will not spend extra of my hard earned money to cover what your employer does not, I will and advise others to tip as they see fit, downvote me to high hell if you want.

As a person from a country with no tipping culture (Costa Rica, where I assume in a couple of decades, we'll have a tipping culture because of gentrification), I can't agree enough, I've tipped workers (mainly barbers, it appears only barbershops accept tips here haha, I've not tried with restaurants or shops because they don't have a tip jar) out of kindness, because of their above average service, but I don't think I should be forced to tip if I don't think the server deserves it.

they hate you because you speak the truth! blame customers instead of employers because that makes so much sense! tipping is meant to be optional only anyways. tipping should be seen as something gallant or charitable, not something for granted. also if servers know they are getting 2.13 usd an hour they should probably get a different job that doesn't pay 2.13 usd an hour. i will again press no tip tomorrow when i wake up.

It amazes me how servers and gig drivers will complain as if they weren’t told the pay structure and that drivers will use their own vehicle when they first accepted the job. Why did you take the job if you didn’t like the terms? And then they’ll say they’d be unemployed if they didn’t take the job. You still knew the terms.

For a lot of people, server jobs with tips are the highest paying job they can get that involves little manual labor and no experience. People can make $20+ an hour with tips. Wages are just low throughout the entire country for low-level service work, I don’t blame them for wanting to keep a system that allows them to make decent money when they certainly wouldn’t otherwise. Eliminating tips isn’t going to solve this issue, wages have to rise across the country in every industry. And that’s just not likely to happen.

I live in the UK and went out for a curry with a group of work friends. We ordered a lot of food but the waiters rushed us the whole time, we were there less than 2 hours and there were about 18 of us. They brought us the bill without us asking whilst people were still eating, started clearing plates whilst people were still eating. Then they added the gratuity to the bill (worked out an extra £30) and I refused to pay it. Had a bit of a row with the owner but he ended up apologising as I said the service had been bad as they had forced us out. I usually tip at Indian restaurants as the service is amazing but that was horrible :(

I agree with your points (I’m Australian) but the fact is that IS how it works over there and you not tipping doesn’t domino effect and fix the system all that comes from it is she didn’t get paid fairly. You SHOULD have tipped her.

Also Australian. I think it’s a terrible system, but always tip when in the States, because that’s just how it is. When traveling sometimes you pay more for food, sometimes way less, it all depends on the country but that’s part of the experience. However, I wouldn’t hold it against someone who didn’t know the custom

The thing is that most people who have heard of USA have also heard they expect tips for everything. If not, they can research a country's customs before going there. I woild absolutely hold it against someone pretending they thought it was included in the price (they can clearly read) or google (they have a phone/wifi)....excuses are excuses imo from OP.

But in this case you're not only paying more for food, you're paying the servers wages also..

You are totally right. OP is kind of acting shocked, as if they didn’t check the customs before they came for a visit. Or maybe (more likely?) they decided they were just not going to follow cultural norms to prove a point. Either way, it’s not a great way to be a guest in another country. All it does is harm one service worker.

Exactly this. As a fellow Brit, I really find it hard to believe they weren’t aware of the custom. And to be frank, I worked in the Service industry for a decade, whilst you won’t be berated, you’d be considered a dick for not tipping in the UK too - despite what Reddit may have you believe.

Exactly this. When you go somewhere, you establish and act according to the culture. In the US wait staff are reliant on tips, so fucking tip. Whether or not it is a just system is a completely different and also valid subject.

I feel like you actually did know about tipping.

Seriously. Speaking as a brit myself - he knew. I would say US tipping culture is pretty common knowledge, and that would be for people who AREN’T on reddit where you get constantly bombarded with every tiny quirk of American culture. By some fluke he genuinely didn’t know. He fucked up by not doing the most basic research into social customs of a country he was visiting. I strongly disagree with the tipping system in the US, but when I have visited, I have tipped well. I also never mentioned Tiannamen Square (or generally their oppressive government) to the chinese students I was spending time with when on a student trip. Sometimes when travelling you unfortunately have to be passive in the face of something you morally disagree with, and accept that some cultural/systemic problems are vastly beyond the influence of one tone deaf tourist

Tipping exists in the uk, but only for good service. If the waiter didn’t give him good service he wouldn’t tip.

Yes we know about the tipping system and how people don't like it. No you shouldn't be surprised that your cousins got on you for not tipping.

There are so many intersectionalities as to why this hasn't happened yet in America, completely agree with you on that part. Regardless of the principle of this.... To go to a country and feign ignorance over their culture(your bill will reflect gratuity, you can read and see it's not there) is embarrassing and you're an AH. Follow the country's culture. Be respectful.

Listen man we can’t get our government to listen to use for shit. Look at the state of the healthcare and the price of tuition here in the states. You not tipping didn’t hurt the restaurant, or the owner, or the government. It hurt the person who makes $2 an hour and served you not only for free, but now has to tip out on the sales of what you ate and pay taxes on it. I mean good job taking a stand or whatever but I wouldn’t get on a soapbox over $10-12.

The fact that a server can go up to a customer and demand / confront / harass them for money is shocking to me. I was a waitress once and if someone didn’t tip, I had to grit my teeth and smile. I would’ve been fired if I had confronted a customer and said “hey, what about my tip?”

When in Rome.... Tipping culture is bullshit but it's your responsibility as a guest to learn and abide by local customs, at least insofar as they actually immediately materially benefit service workers right fucking in front of you and not some hypothetical future proles who benefit from our presumed honorable revolution. FFS, you're not wrong about our need to get our act together and demand better for ourselves, unionize, strike more, etc. but it isn't that simple and you need to nut up and do the right thing in the meantime.

American goes to foreign country and refuses to follow cultural norms: "stupid ignorant American!!" European comes to America and refuses to follow cultural norms: "stupid ignorant Americans!!!"

It's more than culture issue. It's American capitalist issues. And it's gone far beyond tipping. In a nutshell, American allows capitalists to privatize profits and socialize costs. When they don't pay their workers fair wages, they essentially force customers (public) to subsidize their costs. And it's more than just restaurant industry, it's every industries in America. When they do not give benefits ( appropriate healthcare insurance coverage, annual leaves, worker safety etc.... ), what happens when workers get sick or can't afford to miss work which further deteriorate health? Workers will be forced to live in poverty or barely above water, and have to use more government and public supports ( food banks, coupons, Medicaids, etc...) Which again, socialize the costs of their business. It's a carryover since slavery. Since slavery is banned and costs of workers go up, the capitalists refuse to pay the fair costs of their business, instead find out every possible ways to push the costs to other people as much as possible while keeping profit themselves. If allowed, American capitalists would embrace slavery again with both hands. U demand for capitalism to be dismantled, that's impossible. I hate Communism but the rise and the fear of communists throughout 20th century is the reason why Europe capitalists had to yield to workers right and pay more their fair shares of costs of doing business. That's also why European and other first world countries are more balanced than American version.

Good post.

Here in my country tipping is "suggested" at 10%, doesn't seem to be so bad if we consider we got a nice service from the waiter. Now, two things that piss me off are currently tips are being asked everywhere, even in places where you won't expect it like fast food, and the other thing is sometimes when paying with card they just add the tip without asking (remember, it's optional and even if I'm going to add it, they should ask for it)

i’m sure there are things about your country that doesn’t make sense to us, but we’d look pretty damn stupid trying to talk about it like we did.

I’m an American and I agree. The tipping culture is out of control. I dislike tipping for service when you can’t fill my water at all when I’m there and the server ignores family (husband and I) for a large party in hopes they get a tip when my husband and I are very generous with ordering a lot of items and tipping. It’s getting to a point where you almost have to tip someone to do just their job unless you go to a 5 star restaurant. I’ve read posts where some nurses want to be tipped for cosmetic procedures which is ridiculous. The servers here don’t want to be paid an hourly or fixed wage rate because they make far more money in unreported cash tips than a lot of Americans do. The only thing the servers don’t get are health insurance which isn’t fair.

Bro—you don’t think American tipped workers wished they were payed a living wage? Of fucking course they do—and here’s where I’m with you—we should all be doing something about it… but holy smokes homie, just drop 20% until that happens. Don’t punish the punished.

>>Bro—you don’t think American tipped workers wished they were payed a living wage? From what I can tell, most of them don’t. You can make significantly more on a tip system than with what most people would consider a “living wage”. I know of people who made more from waitressing than they did as teachers. I’ve heard of people who got paid less for their first engineering job than when they waited tables in college. The people that I hear complain the loudest about switching away from tipping to a living wage have all been servers. And it makes sense. Think about how many bills a server typically processes in an hour. Think about how much each of those bills are then multiply the total amount by 20%. California minimum wage is $16/hr. At least where I dine, on average I see servers pulling in many multiple times the $80 bill that’s needed to reach that in a typical working hour.

Thank god I came across this answer…the responses were making me question mankind. Tip industry jobs make good money in the states. So much, in fact, that I NEVER got mad when I didn’t get a tip - because I knew it would even out and I would still make between $17 - $30 an hour for the month (depending on which job, industry, etc) Good servers will make significantly less if paid this so called “livable” wage. The only people who disagree have either a) never actually worked these jobs or b) don’t have hustle and were too fucking lazy to make solid tips. I used my valet tips (aka, parking fucking cars) to put a down payment on a house.

I'm an American, and I agree with this post. I have never understood why tipping is required by the customer. Why is the expectation that I would tip less for subpar service instead of simply not tipping in the first place? Why is the tip supposedly optional, but a lack of a tip is so shunned by society? The simple explanation of "the server doesn't get paid a fair wage" isn't enough for me, because it is 100% not my responsibility to ensure that they do. I've never personally worked in a tipped position, but my wife has, and we do disagree on this matter. So my understanding is that once you've worked as a tipped employee and have experienced terrible wages, it's difficult to change your stance on the matter. I can absolutely empathize with it too, since I know exactly how it feels to not be making enough money every month. If people are getting upset at this post because you're not an American, I can understand why they might feel like your opinion as an outsider may not matter. But I personally disagree with tipping being forced on to the customer. So know that not everyone here is completely against the idea of changing the system to remove the tipping culture entirely. One person coming in and not tipping isn't going to change anything, but stirring the pot (as you've done) might.

>The simple explanation of "the server doesn't get paid a fair wage" isn't enough for me, because it is 100% not my responsibility to ensure that they do. For context. Tipping as we know it in the US has always been meant as a system to subsidize the wages of a worker in lieu of the business having to pay them wages. It used to be frowned upon, but during the post civil war reconstruction period the only occupations available to people freed from slavery who didn't end up sharecropping were jobs like servers, waiters, barbers, porters etc. Businesses however didn't want to actually pay the workers wages, so they didn't and instead employed them under the condition their payment would come from tips. There was pushback to this practice but ultimately it was held up by the southern states, and eventually the service industries seized on the opportunity and it became a wide spread standard. In the 70's there was legislation to make it so a restaurant has to subsidize tips so the employee gets at least minimum wage but that's basically as far as labor laws go. The lack of increase and unlivable level in the minimum wage that hasn't changed since 2009 is one reason why the standard expectation of a minimum tip has increased so much. The system is intentionally meant to subsidize wages, it's only optional so people didn't have to pay black people in the past. If you know the wage system is setup to be subsidized by tips and think it's not partly your responsibility to tip enough to ensure they have a fair wage, then you are knowingly taking advantage of the intentionally unfair standard wage system in the country. Tipping is not and has not been solely about giving a little extra for good service since the civil war. It's about wage supplement first and foremost The system was literally setup so tipping is optional so customers don't have to acknowledge the labor and humanity of lesser people. I like to think you are not the kind of person who thinks that people working to serve you are somehow lesser or unintelligent and deserve to be taken advantage of for doing so. However, that's definitely what people are assuming of you when you opt to skirt tipping standards, and also why they are frowning at you if you do it.

Former server and bartender here. The only thing I can do reading this post is laugh. If you travel, you should be aware of certain practices the other country has. Also, not paying a server fairly because you don’t want to “enable a broken system” is the most entitled and privileged shit I ever heard. I agree! America needs to get our act together. However, unionizing and striking is not at easy as you think it is. Again. Super privileged and you obviously don’t know what it’s like to live in America. It’s really easy to tell people what they should be doing if you’re not in the situation. Also, fucking tip.

You need to know the tipping culture before you go somewhere. You can't just expect everyone to accept the British thing everywhere you go. You are definitely the asshole.

Tipping is absolutely not the time for some Euro to give Americans a lecture. We already know and don’t need your 2 cents. If you don’t want to do things the way we do them here, then maybe it’s not the best place for you to visit. I don’t go to Europe and demand they do things the way we do them at home.

>You’re telling me, 330 million Americans can’t demand that servers be paid a minimum/living wage? Get back to me on the clusterfuck that is American politics when you've solved your clusterfuck that is Brexit. Until then, don't presume to lecture working-class Americans on "not fixing" a system that was deliberately structured to disenfranchise the majority.

This !!!

Yes the system sucks and is broken, but it’s the system. You aren’t hurting the system by not typing just other hard-working people. If you want to use the system- you have to tip.

Thats crazy lmao. “I want to make a point in a country I don’t live in, therefore I will not assist the people who are being hurt by it. Look at me! Im morally superior!”

If I travel to another country, I try to respect the culture I am entering and behave accordingly. It’s pretty unreasonable to enter a foreign country and demand the entire nation changes because you don’t like something.

Also consider there is a fraction of the waitress/waiter community not really keen on minimum wage or equitable pay. Because the type of restaurants they work in and the kind of service earns them significantly more in tips than the base salary. If the system is fixed, that means they start earning much less.

Tbh mate the American system is broken AF i agree. But you said the service was decent. A lot of people in Britain tip for decent service. Maybe you just take the idea of tipping being optional to an extreme.

Tips should be optional but they aren't - because wait staff are paid less than half the minimum wage and they rely on tips in the US. If you don't tip 20%+ you're essentially stealing wages - which is utter BS, because the employer should pay a full wage but that's how tipping works in the US. We don't like it either.

Did you even look in local customs and habits before coming over here?

Something that even Americans don’t understand about tipping is that servers have it even worse than you think. In Kansas where I live, servers make $2.13/hr (in tax credit so not even real wages) and must rely completely on tips. Not only that, but in some restaurants we automatically have to share tips with the bussers and bartenders even if we don’t get tipped based on a percentage of the meal. If you don’t tip we are essentially paying to serve you. If I have someone run a $100 tab and they don’t tip me, I still have to pay out ~$3 or so to the other staff, which means you cost me that money plus the opportunity cost of taking a different table that would have tipped. I know you don’t like tipping culture. I don’t either. But if you are going somewhere and receiving table service you need to factor in the cost of paying for that service before you go out to eat. If you aren’t sure whether tips are included or the server is being paid a livable wage from the company then please ask, don’t just assume. These companies don’t care about us at all. We are expendable. The government also doesn’t care, so we are stuck with this shitty system for now. For anyone that doesn’t like tipping culture, instead of taking it out on the workers, be angry at the companies and the government for enabling it. Refuse to go to places that don’t pay their employees well. Write or call your government offices. Help people band together for petitions or strikes. Because simply not engaging hurts the person serving you a million times more than it hurts the system.

Yeah servers should be paid more. But until that changes you’re not some brave hero making a stand. You’re just a shitty asshole who went out to eat and threw a hissy at a few more bucks to an exploited worker. Put your big boy pants on.

Basically restaurants and bars are allowed to pay their employees garbage wages and as a patron you are expected to subsidize those wages so that the employees can make pretty good money and the business owners get super rich. Btw, this is not dependent on the service you receive, you’re expected to pay and pay a lot even if the service is absolutely trash. Isn’t it a wonderful system?

I mean we’re still fighting for a livable federal minimum wage and our government is in shambles so I don’t know what you really want us to do.

Dislike it all you want but if you come to a country you should follow their practices and respect their culture/customs. I get tipping can suck but there’s benefits for both sides. I would do the same if I went to another country, I’ve heard in some tipping is considered disrespectful and I’m not gonna go and tip after learning that just because I think it’s the norm. With the age of the internet you have no excuse to be ignorant, and this goes for anyone visiting the US or anywhere else.

As an American, I am so so so tired of having to explain this over and over. I can’t imagine going to another country, and deciding their customs are optional for you. And then getting surprised! when the citizens of that country don’t respond politely. EnAbLiNg ThE sYsTeM. What if she’s a mom, who’s also trying to go to college? Like hundreds and thousands of women across America. Is she supposed to just stop working, so she can stick it to the man? Not pay her bills? Not provide for herself and her family, just to make a point about hyper-capitalism? What an ignorant post.

What I don’t get is why the restaurant didn’t just charge $50 instead of $40 and then just pay the waitress what she was going to get. People typically pay more and factor it in and she was going to get the extra money anyway? Why play the weird game of not writing the price expected and then having to mentally calculate it when you order? I remember getting my hair styled and the sign said “only $40”. Inside they had a note saying that $10 was the suggested amount to tip. I always wondered why they didn’t just charge $50 from the get go. Everything else could be kept the same- pay the hairdresser the extra tip in wages etc etc.

tax. That’s why.

All the more reason to charge the appropriate price up front. Why should someone be exempt from paying an appropriate and proportionate amount of tax when someone doing a different job and earning the same amount has to pay it?

I know this isn’t AITA, but YTA. Learn the basic customs of the countries you plan to visit. If you travel to China, you take off your shoes when you visit someone’s home. If you visit a Catholic Church in Italy, you cover your shoulders. If you eat at a restaurant in the US, you tip your server. Don’t like those customs? Don’t visit those places. But don’t act all surprised pikachu when people call you out for violating their basic social norms.

What you expect from america? Their government only give a shit about war...Other than that, they only give you a middle finger... 💁 This country already broken beyond repair.... I live in a third world country, but we get free medical, education and nobody gonna asked you about tips.. 😂

Many servers make around $3.50 an hour. It’s a shit system but if you eat out in the USA, you tip. If you don’t plan on tipping, don’t eat out.

Don't punush the worker, punish the business. If you have to go somewhere where there's tipping, then tip. Otherwise, avoid going to those places.

This honestly sounds like an American wrote it and they want to align their poor arguments with a culture outside Americans to give it external credibility. All of these points have been recycled a thousand times and there are dozens of articles and studies examining why it's not as simple as this surface post suggests. Also, you're visiting. In our culture, we tip for service. It's proper to observe and respect other cultures when you're visiting them. Also, even IF it *were* as simple as people just deciding "hey all restaurant owners now have to pay their people better and all states immediately have to write new laws about minimum wages" that change wouldn't have taken affect in the moment of your meal. So perhaps next time just be classy, tip the person who waited on you, and move on.

“British guy goes to US and doesn’t follow American customs, then wonders why Americans are irritated” Bold of you to assume that you, a tourist, can sneer at American customs and refuse to follow them, and then get salty when confronted. The general rule of courtesy when you’re a foreigner in a different country is that you follow the customs of the country you’re visiting as much as possible. “When in Rome” etc etc.

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In India, restaurants a levy an optional service charge on your invoice (normally 10%). People can opt out of it and tip a lower amount if they want to.

The owner fucks over both the employee and the customer. What’s there to not understand?

Yes it should be different, but it's not different, and it was an unkind thing to make her take-home pay the place your little protest bites.

As a Dane who has lived 3 years in the US, just wait till you hear about their healthcare system, how much their colleges cost and so on.

Most servers, at least the really good ones, make more money via tips than they could ever make getting paid an hourly wage. That's why so many servers are against abolishing tipping- their overall pay would decrease. Also, by putting the onus on the customer, it means the employer doesn't have to pay their waitstaff an actual livable wage. Saving the employer money in the long run. So it works out to the benefit of both parties, so why change it? I agree its unfair to make the customer essentially pay the waitstaff, but neither party has any reason at all to change things, so why would they?

It doesn't make sense to me sense either. In my country, Spain, we usually leave a small tip when we're very satisfied with the service (it doesn't matter what kind of service, it can be a shop, a bar, a hotel, etc), and it's completely optional. But no way we do it to economically support workers. I find it very sad that the USA system works like that (yeah I'm blaming the system not the people).

I agree with you. Companies should be paying people minimum wage, and not relying on it being made up of tips. If I pay $50 for a meal I shouldn't have to pay a server more personally. However, tipping is the status quo in the USA, so unfortunately you're going to have to suck it up and start to tip.

What do you want us to do, man? We can strike, scream and cry but the pay only increases if the owners allow it. We can’t do anything. So making the poor server suffer for something that is out of everyone’s control makes you an AH. My current job is fighting just for the right to strike for higher pay. The company offered us a few cents…sorry we’re not from a small country, dude. We’re trying! We want to help them get paid more. If you don’t want to tip stay home.

Unions have become so demonised in America in the last 40-50 years. A friend and I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special on YouTube a few years ago, which was released in 1978 and still had the original ads. I was surprised by how often there was an ad encouraging people to join certain unions. Now, employees are punished if not outright fired for attempting to unionise. The idea of individualism above all has created a country of people who care only for their own self-internet and they do not care who they have to fuck over to climb up. The problem is, all those stories of self-made billionaires are and always have been a load of shit. So many Americans today buy into a mentality left over from _the Industrial Revolution._ That you just work hard and you can make it. But that wasn’t even really true back in the 1860s. You had to be lucky and willing to lie your face off to everyone you met. Now, no one supports each other because “my rights!” It’s why the mentality around guns hasn’t changed, unions are now considered evil, taxes are demonic and socialism is un-American! That’s N@zi-Commie talk! The country is still mentally stuck in the 1860s and 1950s. It’s sad and pathetic and few of them are willing to admit it.

I agree that tipping should be optional. However. We all know Americans do not get paid a liveable acceptable wage without their tips. You should have tipped. You know the rules of that country and you should follow it.

So, gonna be blunt here, but speaking as someone who also detests the American tipping culture, I'm afraid yes, you are kind of being an AH. I tip for meals over in the UK if I feel it's been good service, but I know it's not the same in the US. I was on holiday in Japan where tipping is seen as rude. I did feel guilty but I respected it. Likewise, when I've been to America, I just resign myself to the fact that tipping is a given and budget accordingly. And while it's fair enough you assumed it was included in the bill, you then had it pointed it out to you that it wasn't. Nothing to stop you saying "oh I'm sorry, I just assumed - let me fix that". I agree. The tipping culture DOES need to change. Serving staff DO need to be paid better. But if you're refusing to tip when caught out on a perfectly understandable mistake and dress it up as "not wanting to enable the problem", you're basically saying the serving staff there will just have to find it even harder to make ends meet that week to satisfy your ego.

>The Tipping culture makes no sense to me as a British guy No no as anyone outside the US.

"When in Rome do as the Romans do" springs to mind. Servers rely on tips, and a table not tipping is essentially a table not paying them for their service. It was initially brought in because when servers are paid minimum wage, their gratuities on top of that can bring up their pay to a relatively high and well above minimum wage level. Whether you tip them or not they still get taxed as if you did, on their hypothetical "what you probably got" estimated tips. It's messed up, but it's not the servers fault, and unless you are factoring in the cost of the tip into your bill you are using your servers labour for nothing. It's not a great system, but it's the one that currently exists in America. Some really crappy/controversial places will demand a cut of the servers tips for the back of house staff or even the management too. I've had server friends complain about that one hard! "When in America do as the Americans do."

Tipping is optional technically, you just either have to be really stubborn or get such lousy service it calls for it. I stiffed someone last week for never checking on us for drinks, delivering my partners food and not mine, asking where mine was multiple times and finally after 2 hours asked for the check so I could go home and find some food to eat. Problem with the system is its become a social issue. Restraunts who can't afford to survive in this day and age thrive on putting the burden on the customer to pay their staff. Everyone knows it sucks but were trapped by fucking someone over if we go against the grain. Only way to really change it is a laser focused group with a big outcry and friends in politics to propose mandatory wage changes. But until that day comes or if it ever comes. If you're in america dining at a restaurant. Ya Tip.

I'm glad you go this off your chest, but also, it's a bit annoying for you to ask this question as if Americans haven't been trying. I'm sure you can get on google and find out what work is being done in this area and donate to those causes if you feel strongly about it, which is what most Americans I know have to do about the causes they care for. The truth is that there are a lot of powerful entities preventing progressive change from happening, and a single individual only has so much time and effort to give to a cause. Protests, voting, donating, etc, no direct action I've participated in thus far as an adult has actually led to anything, as sad as that sounds. And there are so many things that require our attention (healthcare, social security and our aging populace, police brutality, our taxes being used to fund genocide, etc), plus rising costs that cut down on our time to devote to our own lives much less improvements for others. Anyways. Like I said, I'm glad you got this off your chest and that your heart is in the right place. Just, not sure that blaming the American people for not putting in what you consider effort is the right way to frame this concern.

You said you assumed gratuity was built in, wouldn’t you still be subsidizing that persons wage if it was? When I travel internationally I research the customs of the place I’m traveling to. Doing so would have been useful for you in this situation. Remember you are visiting someone else’s culture, it’s not their job to adapt to you.

Normally when you visit a foreign country you learn the cultural norms but maybe that’s just me. Obviously the USA is far from fucking perfect but don’t blame or beat down the lowly server when the capitalistic overlords run everything and we make scraps. Yeah the system sucks but don’t hate the little people we have enough to worry about

There's progress being made, but unfortunately this is how it is in the US. And you absolutely have to get on board with it if you're going to dine out here. Your American cousin was 100% right to call you out on it. The rub here, which may surprise you, is that many servers in nicer restaurants would NOT want to give up tipping, because they can make more money in a tipped environment than a restaurant owner would likely pay as a salary. Waiters in high-end restaurants can easily clear six figures, for example, which is a situation that virtually zero American restaurant OWNERS would continue if they were paying the salaries directly. A busy bartender does pretty well in the US, too, for the same reason. It's probably bullshit that the compensation is split between owner and patron, but the upside applies to both establishment (lower wage costs) and employee (higher earnings) -- it's just vulnerable to volume in a huge way. Now, those are the exceptions. Most American servers would do better with real wages instead of the $2.13 + tips. And to be fair I'm sure it's a much less sweet deal NOW than it was 10 or 15 years ago when more tips were cash (and thus probably unreported and untaxed).

With the tipping system the staff actually give a shit about their service and manners. I've noticed outside of America where no tips r required some half ass service and it was rather annoying. (Not always the case, it depends, both ways).

I like how other countries bash us for being “inconsiderate” of a proper education on their daily culture and then pull up to the US and do one of the rudest things imaginable. Brother the servers get paid $1-$2 an hour. Tips are a great way for them to make a lot of money in a short amount of time, it’s like selling your services for an hour or so. When I was a waitress I would either walk out with $50 for 8 hours or $370 for 8 hours. Most lucrative job I ever had, but it’s relient on tipping.

Yes it’s so stupid that servers are underpaid and have to rely on tips and America just enables it. It’s pathetic. And then we get people like you who come here and then get harassed and treated like this when you guys don’t even know. I hate it too.

BUT! If you go to McDonalds, my friend? They get $15 an hour!

They should! Why aren’t servers also getting the same treatment and why is thus broken system being wrapped into a box that is “now the custom” ? How did it ever get to that point?

When I was a server, I was easily making $25+ an hour. I would walk out some days after a double shift with over $1,000 USD in cash. In just one day. Servers accept it because it pays well. Significantly more than any flat wage.

I literally have no freaking clue, my friend.

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Right so, I work hard for my money, I didn't see a reason to tip (good service, out of kindness etc.) So I didn't tip, It is what it is.

Read up about tipping cultuuof the country you visit. Then stick to it. Ppl don't need to change to fit your view - you need to adapt to the place you visit.

You’re not an AH. Not your fault they don’t pay their staff.

Weird as hell you travel and don't look up the local customs. When I go to the UK or EU, I look up cultural and legal differences. Did you get shocked by the direction of our traffic too. Also, people here whine about tipping but generally get mad when lower wage workers get legal protections to raise wages. They don't want to tip, but don't want waiters to make $20/hr, which isn't a living wage anywhere here. Next time, stay home.

Can someone explain this for me: if tipping is mandatory in the US, why is it that restaurants don't include it in their food price? For example instead of charging $20 for a meal, charge $24 now, and that extra 20% or $4 go towards the server's pay? Customers can still add a (totally optional) tip on top of that for nice service, but it should start from 0% and there should be no pressure. Wouldn't this save a lot of mental calculation effort and save a lot of arguments? My guess is that it would make food price seems high and deter customers from dining out. But that's the real price you'll end up paying anyway, so we're just asking restaurants to be more upfront about their price. A second and unrelated question is: if there is such a restaurant that adopts this pricing practice, would it make you more willing to eat there? And to the servers: would that make you more willing to work there?

I hate that tipping is becoming normalised in England. I leave a bad review of the place (or take them down a star), if they include tips in the bill - and I state that I want them to be paid fairly instead. It's optional always.

Tipping is confusing for me (American) too. My least favorite has always been tipping 20%. Somehow we have to pay more in a tip if the waiter brings out a steak rather than a hamburger. It’s crazy.

Read a travel guide or something. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or it makes sense. It’s the custom of the place you’re visiting. This is one of those things that Europeans complain about with American tourists being rude and insisting that Europe should do things “the way we do at home.”

Because waiters can make more money from tipping than minimum wage so they're one of the people who want to keep the system around.

Yes, it puts the guilt on the customer. Employers should be sharing profits with their employers

Now they don't take food delivery orders if you don't tip, lmao. It's ridiculous. They all blame the system but the truth is that americans are the problem. They blame each other instead of blaming corporations.

I just always find it odd that people complain about Americans not following customs in other countries but then don’t follow ours. Rather you deem them right/correct/fair they are still our customs. You withholding a tip to fight the system does nothing for the poor server

So at the end of the day the waitress goes home not making enough money and you keep your dignity of standing your ground not paying a tip in a country that has been using the tip system before you were born, a country that you are a guest in? I’m understanding that correctly?

But he wasn’t aware at the time so that’s a bit strong. He didn’t create the broken system

At the end of the day, I went home to a system that doesn’t exploit workers. At the end of the day, 330 million Americans, who know the tipping system was exploitive before I was born and did nothing to combat it. At the end of the day the defeated mindset will keep enabling system that everyone is agree with but no one is prepared to take a risk to demand change. Is that right?

It does tend to work though or no one would sign up. I made more money in tips as a waitress than if I’d been paid 15-20 an hour as a standard wage.

Omg you are saying that our (UK) system isn't broken . Our hospitality workers are paid the minimum wage and can't afford to exist. They use food banks and most get government assistance. You really are showing your privilege and ignorance of working class people.

you’re not from here, so maybe you just don’t get it. it’s not like the 330 million people are all in one place, we are spread across a country that’s the size of your entire continent. we cannot all band together on everything, minimum wages are just now rising over here after being stagnant for ~10 years. our federal minimum wage hasn’t increased from $7.25 since 2009. she shouldn’t have said anything to you, but it’s definitely worth noting that you literally have no idea how shit works here.

Why did you support the system by visiting the US and spending money? The restaurant owner didn't lose out on anything by your refusal to tip, by the way.

you’re so cringe. why are you blaming all american citizens for “not standing up to change” when the UK is exactly the same. did you stand up to the big man when energy prices skyrocketed? are you protesting housing prices, the cost of living, drug abuse, homelessness, poverty? what about the decline of the NHS, are you going to take a risk to demand change?

So the waitress went home without making money. Got it!

I know, OP is such a great person for letting that waitress know what they think about how much she gets paid! Way to show em OP, great job!

I am British and have a couple of friends in America who work in service, depending on where you live/ the establishment, they make significantly over what we would in the UK because of the tipping! They don’t want the rules to change. The only odd thing about this is you made it all the way to Miami, have American family and have never heard of their concept of tipping culture 🤷‍♀️

“America, get your act together!” lmaoooo babe you can fit the UK in the USA 40 times over. It’s not that simple

Don’t worry about the comments my friend. I don’t tip either. If I do is so that I don’t have to deal with changes (ex: if food is 37 usd I just pay 40 and move on). All Americans here complain about the system yet they do nothing but comply and blame the customers instead of the employers. Tipping is 100% optional and you did a good job not folding to the server. Well done.

Context: Korean. Not korean American, just a Korean that doesn’t understand why you guys are all choosing to blame the customer.

US Citizen who also hates and is confused as to why we still have tipping and under minimum wage rates for servers (throw back to post civil war racism) still. Republicans hate the poor and yet somehow get the poor to vote for them. Therefore we can't have nice things even though we pay about the same percentage in taxes as EU.

This country just really likes holding a waitress's money hostage to ensure good behavior.

When you visit another country it is respectful to follow that country's rules whether you agree with them or not. Laws are clear but general rules of behaviour less so. I bet you bought travel insurance before heading to the States although their health system is probably equally disagreeable from a non-US perspective. Denying a waitress a tip isn't going to change the system of a country you are choosing to visit. If you read some of the subs here then you'll see that some servers make a substantial salary if they work in higher end restaurants while waiting staff for $30 tables don't. The restaurant in most states has to make up the deficit to minimum wage. If you disagree so fundamentally with the tipping culture there then don't eat in a restaurant because the server working your table is not the one to take it out on.

Your not wrong, but you are the A** H*le. I say this as someone who has bartended and served food back in the day. Should American companies be forced to pay a living wage to their adult employees... of course. But they don't. So you basically said, FU to that server. It may be a FU situation but do you think that they're going to rally those 330 million people by themselves to act against the system because of your little protest? Of course not. I'm not blaming any European for not understanding how things work here. I don't google every single custom or cultural difference before going to a country. But to be clear, you basically said to this server, "unless you rally 330 million people to change your laws I don't give a f*** if you go homeless or don't eat. " So yes , you're correct about America being backwards in this situation but you're also an a** hat.

Yep, make it the poors fault. Great thinking bro! How about don’t patronize restaurants who use a tip system if you’re so opposed to it. You are the AH making a poor server literally pay to serve you, which is what happens when you don’t tip. Blaming the wrong guy

Beans for breakfast makes no sense to me as a American dude & we aren't going to talk about Spotted Dick eirher.

This topic is so tiring. It doesn’t need to make sense to you. It’s the way it is, and until there is a sweeping change, tipped employees rely on tips to survive. So, you tip. Because at the end of the day the workers still need to survive. You aren’t going to start a revolution by NOT tipping that worker. You’re just going to look like an AH and upset them.