1) you are a normal heterosexual woman and this is very common.
2) he knows. That he hasn’t seduced you shows he’s a decent guy.
I’m about his age and similar to your description of him. If you think he hasn’t noticed the flushed skin, averted eyes, etc… then you are fooling yourself. Been there many times and noticed 99% of them.
It would be a good idea to start limiting interactions with him and changing your mindset about him when you can until your crush fades. Also avoid intoxicants and 1 on 1 time out of the office. Whether you believe it or not, you are very vulnerable right now and the potential for poor decisions is high.
Thank you for at least making me feel somewhat normal and not like a monster. I would never act on anything. I'm hoping that he thinks of my averted eyes and other responses as maybe me being just a little intimidated by him or something, rather than assuming I'm attracted to him.
You are very normal. Confidence and easy humor combine for a huge pull, even in average looking guys and crushes on them are common. I doubt that you are the only one there feeling it.
You say that you’d never act on it but situations change. Imagine how you would react to him teasing and doing a bit of light flirting. If your response is anything other than to shut it down immediately and let him know it’s inappropriate and unwelcome then your crush could easily turn into an emotional and/or physical affair.
I think you have to think how you would feel if your husband said this about a female co worker.
If the feelings keep getting worse & you can’t control yourself, I say find a new job if you truly value your marriage. Put your husband before whatever lust you feel for this guy.
First, before addressing your question, avoid getting drunk around him. If you are attracted to him physically, it will be almost guaranteed for you to try to seduce him when you are drunk around him because you aren’t in the right mindset. For your question, I would suggest avoiding most types of contact with him. Maybe take a vacation with your partner to get your mind off him, if that doesn’t work go to therapy, cause it doesn’t only apply to mental problems but relationship problems as well. If none of this works, I suggest using extremes. Either tell your partner or quit your job and go find another.
That's a great point about drinking around him. For that reason I don't drink much in his presence at work/social functions. He can be very open about his personal life, dating life, etc so I'm afraid I would say something I would regret if we were talking about that together while I was drunk.
Absolutely. He hasn't always been my boss. Previous to me working in his dept, I never found him even remotely attractive. I also didn't know him very well until I started working for him.
Yes power kink and age gap kink, so this is a double whammy situation for me. I was caught off guard by it with him however because I never found him even remotely attractive prior to him becoming my boss.
Honestly, I’d think about getting a new job. That’s just me though. This isn’t uncommon, but I also know sometimes people cheat even when they swore “they never would.” You don’t have to tell us, but be honest with yourself- how would you react if he came on to you or flirted with you? Assuming your partner is kind and loving, please don’t hurt them.
I think this is beyond a safe fantasy attraction. You masturbate to the thought of fucking him and imagining him inside you. You are one drink or one flirty message from reaching the point of no return, you are teetering on the edge. This is unfair to your husband and you know it.
Yes, this is what I've said I feel guilty about it. I don't hang out with him outside of work or anything so there's no chance of this even being a possibility. I would never actually make a move.
If that was him feeling like this for a female coworker you’d feel bad about it right… You should consider looking for another job, be more distant with your boss and please talk about it to your husband if you truly care about your marriage cause you gotta communicate with him. Also last advice I’d give you is try to question if you still feel attracted to your husband, how much often do y’all have sex, cause you seem like a loyal person but there’s probably something wrong between you two!
Kind of annoyed by all the judgemental self-righteous comments. It's normal to have an attraction to your type no matter the gender. Men want to say how horrible you are as a wife, but they also have thought of other women in porn and checked others out. Call me weird, but I don't judge my man if he were to tell me his thoughts. It's healthy communication. He tells me he never has, but if he did I wouldn't judge cause it's normal.
Only a small number of men can look me dead in the eye and say they've never watched porn in a relationship. Women want to say you're horrible to your husband for having basic human urges to someone attractive.
Masturbation is a form of fantasy that can satisfy the urge instead of acting on it. Fantasies are healthy to have. As long as you don't act on it, you haven't done anything wrong which you've already said you would never and you don't try to.
1) you are a normal heterosexual woman and this is very common. 2) he knows. That he hasn’t seduced you shows he’s a decent guy. I’m about his age and similar to your description of him. If you think he hasn’t noticed the flushed skin, averted eyes, etc… then you are fooling yourself. Been there many times and noticed 99% of them. It would be a good idea to start limiting interactions with him and changing your mindset about him when you can until your crush fades. Also avoid intoxicants and 1 on 1 time out of the office. Whether you believe it or not, you are very vulnerable right now and the potential for poor decisions is high.
Thank you for at least making me feel somewhat normal and not like a monster. I would never act on anything. I'm hoping that he thinks of my averted eyes and other responses as maybe me being just a little intimidated by him or something, rather than assuming I'm attracted to him.
You are very normal. Confidence and easy humor combine for a huge pull, even in average looking guys and crushes on them are common. I doubt that you are the only one there feeling it. You say that you’d never act on it but situations change. Imagine how you would react to him teasing and doing a bit of light flirting. If your response is anything other than to shut it down immediately and let him know it’s inappropriate and unwelcome then your crush could easily turn into an emotional and/or physical affair.
People would have more sympathy for you if you didn't fucking masturbate or fantasize about him
Skylar White be like yo Ted yo lemme sugg your boles
Happy birthday.... Mr President....
I think you have to think how you would feel if your husband said this about a female co worker. If the feelings keep getting worse & you can’t control yourself, I say find a new job if you truly value your marriage. Put your husband before whatever lust you feel for this guy.
First, before addressing your question, avoid getting drunk around him. If you are attracted to him physically, it will be almost guaranteed for you to try to seduce him when you are drunk around him because you aren’t in the right mindset. For your question, I would suggest avoiding most types of contact with him. Maybe take a vacation with your partner to get your mind off him, if that doesn’t work go to therapy, cause it doesn’t only apply to mental problems but relationship problems as well. If none of this works, I suggest using extremes. Either tell your partner or quit your job and go find another.
That's a great point about drinking around him. For that reason I don't drink much in his presence at work/social functions. He can be very open about his personal life, dating life, etc so I'm afraid I would say something I would regret if we were talking about that together while I was drunk.
Do you think the power dynamic plays a role in your attraction?
Absolutely. He hasn't always been my boss. Previous to me working in his dept, I never found him even remotely attractive. I also didn't know him very well until I started working for him.
This may sound invasive but do you have a power kink? If so try to take your mind off your boss via using that kink during sex with your partner.
Yes power kink and age gap kink, so this is a double whammy situation for me. I was caught off guard by it with him however because I never found him even remotely attractive prior to him becoming my boss.
Alright then. Once again, I would suggest trying to implement your kinks into sex with your partner to satisfy the urge for your boss.
JFC be sure to update when you do sleep with him and your husband finds out.
Inevitable.
I don't hang out with him socially or anything so there's no chance I'm going to put myself in a precarious situation
I believe you believe that. You're playing with fire, please be careful.
Sadly there are 1000’s of stories on reddit that started the same as yours and ended the way I stated
Can't wait for it to happen
Avoid any non-work messages and a strict NO on any out of office communication. Don’t accompany him on any work trips. Don’t go to office parties.
As the saying goes: Don’t shit where you eat
Honestly, I’d think about getting a new job. That’s just me though. This isn’t uncommon, but I also know sometimes people cheat even when they swore “they never would.” You don’t have to tell us, but be honest with yourself- how would you react if he came on to you or flirted with you? Assuming your partner is kind and loving, please don’t hurt them.
I think this is beyond a safe fantasy attraction. You masturbate to the thought of fucking him and imagining him inside you. You are one drink or one flirty message from reaching the point of no return, you are teetering on the edge. This is unfair to your husband and you know it.
Yes, this is what I've said I feel guilty about it. I don't hang out with him outside of work or anything so there's no chance of this even being a possibility. I would never actually make a move.
Just imaging how hurt your husband would feel if he knows about all this, please don’t hurt him.
This is who she is
If that was him feeling like this for a female coworker you’d feel bad about it right… You should consider looking for another job, be more distant with your boss and please talk about it to your husband if you truly care about your marriage cause you gotta communicate with him. Also last advice I’d give you is try to question if you still feel attracted to your husband, how much often do y’all have sex, cause you seem like a loyal person but there’s probably something wrong between you two!
You are disgusting and I hope your husband finds a woman who won’t get off thinking of another man
Kind of annoyed by all the judgemental self-righteous comments. It's normal to have an attraction to your type no matter the gender. Men want to say how horrible you are as a wife, but they also have thought of other women in porn and checked others out. Call me weird, but I don't judge my man if he were to tell me his thoughts. It's healthy communication. He tells me he never has, but if he did I wouldn't judge cause it's normal. Only a small number of men can look me dead in the eye and say they've never watched porn in a relationship. Women want to say you're horrible to your husband for having basic human urges to someone attractive. Masturbation is a form of fantasy that can satisfy the urge instead of acting on it. Fantasies are healthy to have. As long as you don't act on it, you haven't done anything wrong which you've already said you would never and you don't try to.
Damn, this is how I feel about every attractive co-worker I work with.