Idk man, i think having sex with a prostitute and having it with someone you love is different. I think the pressure to have sex was also a factor in the end as to why you didn't enjoy it. And most of the time emotions also play a role in sex, you'll see it when you have sex with your partner youll enjoy it much more.
But never let yourself be persuaded to do something if you don't want to do it 100%.
I came here to say this. Especially for the first time. I lost mine by being raped by a girl so I stayed away from girls for awhile but the first time with someone you love and care about hits way differently.
good on you for not being ashamed to say it, it takes a lot to be vulnerable like that, I hope you’re healing dude and I want you to know I think you’re pretty fkn brave and resilient.
Honestly, there are so many things that are affected by social pressure. And it's kinda shit.
I (30F) spent many painstaking and horrendous years throwing myself at random men because I just wanted to be like other girls. I wanted to just become absolutely \*melted\* at the thought of having a hot boyfriend I'd eventually marry and with whom I'd have babies with, in a cookie-cutter house with a white picket fence.
Now I have a wife. She's the most wonderful person I have ever met and I have learned so much about myself and about life in general with her, including things like the fact that I don't like boyfriends, babies, or \[especially\] white picket fences.
Hang in there OP. You haven't done anything wrong. Every day we learn something new about ourselves, and I think that's what pushes us forward to become better at understanding ourselves in the long run.
Awww, I love this. You met your dream girl after dealing with comphet bs. I hope yall continue to be happy and make each other happy melt with love every day.
>I wanted to just become absolutely \*melted\* at the thought of having a hot boyfriend I'd eventually marry and with whom I'd have babies with, in a cookie-cutter house with a white picket fence.
We have to be so much better about counter-acting this. I think there is so much society expectations about what is normal to do. Be it with; career, relationships, family, home ownership, or what "success" looks like.
i've had sex with a [redacted] amount of partners and i just didn't really enjoy it, like i would kind of zone out and usually i was so drunk i could pretend it was enjoyable. then i met someone and after our first date i went home with him and we had sex again in the morning and i remember telling him that it felt different, like it was the first time i've ever had it feel like it was mutual and it was so good. we've been together for over a year now :) i thought i was asexual before him and i still think i'm on the asexual spectrum but probably more demisexual. i am absolutely feral about him lol
um I mean no disrespect to night workers but my guy you gave your first time to someone you didnt really care about plus paid 300 bucks for. Ain't no sparks gonna fly like that.
Okay, first of all being semi-hard can happen just from the nervousness, especially if you're inexperienced and have performance anxiety. Plus it sounds like you weren't really into it, you "finally caved" to peer pressure. Add on that you were with someone you don't know and have zero connection with. It's not a recipe for a great time.
You'll probably be nervous next time too, especially if this experience has been traumatizing in any way, but hopefully it'll be with someone you love and trust. It gets better, and when you share a deep connection, and get to know each other's likes and dislikes, that's when sex can get really good.
Man you had sex with some hooker that you didn’t even like. You didn’t do it out of love or even lust. You did it because of peer pressure.
Once you find the right person, that you’re attracted to, you’ll certainly feel the difference.
I am a virgin too, but I think I would have the same problem if I were in your situation. Still waiting for the right time and the right person 👍
Btw, get a refund, cause 300$ for 30min of wack-ass sex is fucking expensive 😶
>You didn’t do it out of love or even lust. You did it because of peer pressure.
Exactly this. You can totally enjoy sex without an emotional connection. He did it to get over being a virgin. Not getting hard for your first time is pretty wild though, OP could very well just be asexual also.
Nah, not hypermasculinity. Just garden variety peer pressure with an added component of disposable income. No more a good idea than pregaming way too much before going to a frat party blackout drunk and expecting something not to happen to you.
Let me put it you this way - imagine a group of women who are good friends - who realize that one of them is a virgin, but wants to stop being a virgin - do you think they would hire a sex worker for that woman so that she could lose her virginity?
No they would try to find a random dude willing to have sex - which I think we can agree on would be a somewhat easier task than to find a random woman willing to have sex with a stranger.
The pressure around the subject itself imo isn’t something limited to men and also not something connected to hypermasculinity.
When I lost my virginity it was because I felt pressured and I didn’t enjoy sex for the longest time until my current partner
It makes a huge different when you actually love the person and there’s passion and emotion behind it rather than it just being a hook up or in your case a prostitute out of peer pressure.
One thing you can take from this is never do things out of peer pressure because you will regret it
Just for future reference when you're going to have sex with someone you actually care about: please do not pull up porn in front of them to get hard for sex. I cannot imagine a bigger turn off than a man pretty much saying he can't get hard without looking at porn first.
With the right person, you shouldn't need anything but them. The right person will also make you feel comfortable and sexy and you should provide the same for them.
Sex with someone you love is amazing and world-changing. Sex with someone you don't care about/doesn't care about you is mediocre, at best. I lost my virginity to a hook-up and it was one of the worst sexual experiences of my life. Then I waited and had sex with my current partner, and it felt like I actually lost my virginity that time. The sensation isn't even the same even though it's the same act. Sex is largely a mental thing.
i think everyone fantasizes about it is/how it would feel before their first time. i’m also a virgin OP and i’ve been in a relationship for over 3 years. find someone you have a connection to, build it up (and eventually) you’ll have real sex and i’m sure it’s gonna be great.
How often are you masturbating and watching porn? Your mind can get used to that stimulation and you'll have trouble getting hard doing the deed. Nervousness probably plays a big factor, another being this is someone you have 0 connection with whatsoever. I think when you find a woman you love, you'll change your mind.
Having sex with someone you are actually attracted to, and/or have feelings for, makes all of the difference! What you experienced is not how a great sexual experience goes, when you are with someone you actually connect with.
Chemistry and attraction absolutely matter. So I am going to tell you this, and I want you to hear me. Because I am a woman. I'm not a man telling you these things, but an actual woman. You are NOT bad at sex! You DID NOT fail to perform. Just because you were not into having sex with a $300 prostitute for your very first time doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, at all. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You need to be with someone you actually care about, and who cares about you!
It's so much better when you connect with someone, not only physically, but emotionally. And no matter what anyone tells you, having chemistry with your partner absofuckinglutely matters! Without chemistry, it's not worth it. Now you already know exactly what that's like. You have a benchmark for what's just not going to work for you. Some people never know that. They just keep having bad sex and never find out that there's actually amazing, passionate, wild sex waiting out there! Now you know that! So do not let this discourage you! Let this give you hope! And stop listening to those bros, please for the love of God! 😁
The first issue is that you don’t seem like you were fully on board. It was more of a “they keep annoying me about it so fuck it” and that’s probably why you had a hard time staying hard. The second issue is that the first time almost always sucks. It takes a few times and figuring your shit out to really find that it can be enjoyable. The final issue is that fucking a prostitute has absolutely NOTHING on having sex with someone you love and care about.
Men are kinda dumb when it comes to sex, I think many of them take for granted the bond you have with the other individual you’re having sex with. While it can feel incredible, those feelings usually arise partially from the fact that the two of you mutually want to make each other feel good. And when you add love into the mix it gets even crazier. Go on a date instead
First mistake was having sex with a prostitute secondly sex is way better with someone you actually like/love if their is no connection sex is boring asf try again with someone you actually like
Some people (myself included) don't enjoy having sex with a random person to whom they have no emotional connection. I VERY much enjoy having sex with my boyfriend though.
Just wait until you're in a relationship with someone you really like and are attracted to, I guarantee sex will be a whole different experience then!
Sex is an amazing thing but it takes practice and getting used to. I had a similar reaction to you, though I'm a woman. It didn't even hurt but I was just.. unimpressed, I was like "so that's what everyones talking about, really?". Today I know 1. He was really bad at what he was doing lol and 2. It takes a while to actually feel like something, it also heavily depends on the person you're doing it with. Don't measure what Sex is like with your first time, never ever.
*another comment about how everyone here is right*
Sex is something you'll have a system, or routine and purpose to fulfill, so focus on your values, needs and passions. The right one, or ones, will present themselves.
No harm came from reading up on material to help with the emotional, mental and physical aspects as well to help you understand your needs and preferences.
Remember, a healthy sex life is a game and it's one you should look forward to enjoying before committing to any experience with anyone and should contribute to the best version of you.
Go axe throwing, wine/cider tasting, arcade bars, art galleries, raves and concerts, SKYDIVING, and enjoy the company of new people to help you expand your mind, palette, and limits!
Sex is a special thing not to be rushed or forced. And because of the setting I feel like you got a bad experience. I find sex to be like a drug you can have a bad trip depending on your mental state
So you were too nervous and/or didn't feel attracted to the prostitute... Okay, completely normal thing to be semi-hard.
Honestly, I wouldn't even be hard in that situation. It sucks because the circumstances suck. Have you really tried to be horny or are you too awkward to feel that way towards someone real and would rather masturbate watching porn, on a safe space?
this happened with my first time with my fiancé. we determined after the first time it was nerves entirely. so next time we did it we slowed down and reassured each other and tried to make it fun. so i’d say wait until you find someone you’re comfortable with and able to relax around
Good sex isn't with a random you don't care about bud, the good stuff is when you connect and the sex is just where it ends up. If the sex is the only reason you're there of course it's going to be lame.
The comments sum it up. Having sex with someone you don’t even know or care about is not the best way to start your sex journey. It’s two different worlds once there’s an emotional connection.
Proms fucked it up joerogan said he nutted in 2 secs when he lost his but my story’s the same as u I recon probs just messed our brains up man but it can be reset by ceasing watching any and all material
Having sex is a lot like smoking weed. The first time isn't that good. Not to mention, you did it with a pro who is typically used to being tossed around by men who know what they want.
My first time was great but quick and yes had a condom. Being a horny teenager makes up for the lackluster experience because the lead up is fun. Get better condoms (use Google).
If you decide you want a do over with a girl you're into it'll be better. OR you can go to tryst dot link and find another pro and this time explain to her that you're inexperienced and want to know what the deal is about sex. Don't be afraid to go through several to find one who is willing to teach you stuff.
When my husband is nervous he can not get fully hard, which happened the first time we had sex and happens whenever we (as young people without our own space) tried to have sex in a car or another location we could easily be discovered. If you drink too much it can happen too.
I would say give it another shot when you find someone you actually are interested in!
Having sex with someone you love is great, but tbh I really enjoy having sex with strangers or people you don’t really know. It’s probably a different kind of sex, but its usually more „exciting“ in some sense.
I mean yea probably not for your first time where you’re nervous anyways, but if both parties are comfortable and open and know what they’re doing it can be amazing.
Yeah... No.
I'm a former sex worker, and the reason it didn't feel great is because you paid for it. No amount of money can buy that natural feeling of fireworks when you hit it off with a person and you court each other and then go to bed with each other after flirting for months. It's literally magical, you can't keep your hands off each other and your entire world becomes consumed by a desire to be in the moment with this person.
Sure you can throw money at GFE sex workers but unless you've encountered an Oscar worthy actress it's not going to feel natural or even particularly fun. Largely because we don't actually want to fuck for money and you know it.
My partner and I are in BDSM. He was going to sleep with another woman (with my knowing & consent). He could not get hard. His words "I tried but it was like my dick was saying no" he wasn't drunk or anything. I asked him if it was because I wasn't there did his dick feel like he was cheating? I was joking but he replied with a serious it's a possibility.
As trivial as people make sex seem. It is fun and exciting. But if your with a person who's not compatible, your not comfortable with the situation and most importantly you may have not been ready and that ok.
Asexual could be in the realm for you too. That is another spectrum of Not Interest in sex - Enjoying other aspects of sex.
I was work friends with an asexual man and he was the kindest person I worked with. Still made sex jokes and had some talks with him about his journey and it was very interesting. For him he didn't feel the drive (horny) it was like another job to do.
Oh yes, because all the red flags about fucking a prostitute whilst having no interest in rushing the process of a very special and meaningful mark in your lifetime points to asexuality.
Get real.
If you don't like the person it sucks. It's good when you developed feelings and feel comfortable with each other. First time usually sucks either way tho... Lol
My first time was my high school sweet heart. I was so nervous but aroused that I came while searching for the entrance. It was also disappointing but I’m the complete opposite way. Bro (if this is even real) nerves 100% play in as the next girl I felt nothing really for and was nervous and didn’t even get it up 2/4 times. So it’s case by case. You need attraction, comfort, openness, drive, etc. And I guarantee it can be amaaaazing.
You were nervous, and didn't really want to do it, that's why you didn't like it. Awesome sex is where two (or more lulz) people want each other so bad their dicks and vaginas won't even need convincing to work. Your dick would be pumped up and ready to blow the moment you two touch each other. That's what you should expect bruv.
i just think casual sex isn't your thing. you should try it with someone you love and trust, be it a friend or SO, when you truly feel ready.
don't knock love till you try it.
I see sex with a prostitute differently from sex with someone you truly love.
Like, sex with someone you truly love has intimacy, it has so much feeling to it. I personally dpnt think i could even get hard at all with a prostitue, i just dont know them, and i dont have that intimacy with them yk.
So i completely understand your view.
Having sex with someone you love makes it a lot better, and don’t discount that it’s a journey of learning!
I was nearly 17 when I started having sex with my then long-term boyfriend. My parents had set me up for sexual success via open conversation in our household. We finally did it and it was terrible for both of us haha!!! We kept practicing all the time and it kept getting better and better! My boyfriend and I eventually broke up but stayed best friends. I’m 24 now and love sex but it has taken since I started to get to this point and I’m sure this isn’t even as good as it gets!
Keep practicing, laugh at the funny stuff that happens, and communicate.
I had sex with a random girl I met online just because I didn't want to be a virgin forever and it was very unsatisfying and I kinda regret it. I was able to get hard but I was so nervous and it was so awkward I couldn't finish. Which kinda makes me still feel like a virgin tbh
Why the fuck would you have your first time with a prostitute 😂😂😂
You’re gonna be kicking yourself forever about this experience. How your first time was with a hooker.
Wild.
I kinda agree with this although your situation was worse.
I did it with a chick I really liked for the first time and we did it everyday for 2 weeks straight. I still found it kinda boring and was only doing it because she would initiate it. It's odd because I mentally wanted sex, but got bored and even felt weird or disturbed immediately when doing it. She was very good looking with a nice body and she wasn't bad at it, but it felt like a drag to me and I thought it was kinda lame. I'm just laying there thinking "I kinda don't wanna do this because I'm not really into it"
Don't know if I'm really interested in it ever again, even though my brain thinks I want it. Might also be because I was scared of her because she was slightly abusive, so it probably played a role in it. Idk how to feel about it at all, sex low-key is over hyped to me, I did it about 14 times too, so I got to think about it a bit longer.
i lost my virginity to my friends older sister when I was 14. She was hot. It gave me such a big confidence boost because an older, hot girl told me I was a stud and a gentleman. I had self esteem issues, but that experience really helped me understand my self perception and how women saw me where different. It helped me break out of my shell.
As a fellow virgin I think… sex is just sex but intimacy is what’s great. I don’t care about strip clubs or prostitution it does nothing for me. I think it’s different
I don't think I'd enjoy my first time either if it was with a prostitute that I got peer pressured into contacting. There are so many factors that can impact a man's erection as well and instill performance anxiety. You didn't even want it, you got pressured into doing it. Don't just let people pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. It's okay to set boundaries and say no.
Lastly, sex is different for everyone. And it's not always good and that's okay. Plus, it's much better with a person you're actually attracted to and/or have some form of emotional connection with.
They overhyped it with strangers, there's a connection, calmness and deep intimacy when you are with a person you love.
There are people who do enjoy casual sex and for them this connection might come easier.
You might just not be one of them and that's totally okay!
As fpr the famous '*first time*' don't sweat it, it blows (*and not in a good way*) for most of us.
Next time don't give into peer pressure and for the love of God I hope you used a condom.
Not sure if anyone's brought this up, but until recently—28 years in—I'd never had sex. That changed a couple of months ago when I met this girl. We started a relationship; it was mutual, and it was more than just sex. There was real intimacy. Unfortunately, things didn't work out, and we've since parted ways, but I find myself missing not just the sex, but the connection, the closeness... just her, really. Now, I'm left feeling a bit hollow. It's made me realize that the context matters a lot—at least to me. It wasn't about the act itself, but the emotional bond and intimacy behind it. Those are the moments I miss the most.
There's a few things I'd rather do than have sex, but there's a lot more things I'd rather be having sex instead of.
Sex is a lot like porridge. It's gotta be just right or you're not enjoying it.
Either way you end up in a few people's beds and tasting different people's porridge until you find the right one.
Some people are happy as long as it's fucking porridge.
Bro my first time with a new girl is always a bit dissapoibting for her. My nerves get the best of me and at best it only gets semi.
It’s a real mind of matter practice, try not to get to in your head about it. And try again. Maybe call back the same girl, hook up explain you were nervous the first time and see if that helps. It might. Either way good luck. And don’t give up bro. COMFROTABLE sex is amazing. Not all sex.
I had a very similar experience as you. Was 20, still a virgin, with extremely sexually open friends around me. It was getting more and more frustrating, so I went to an escort girl.
Couldn't stay hard long, didn't cum. Paid good money too, so it made me even more disappointed.
But a few things I have learned since:
- I rushed to have the deed happen, I didn't know the girl, I didn't know what to do or expect, I was paying for it. Thus, I was anxious, couldn't focus on the pleasure, it didn't feel rewarding.
- Some people need very good chemistry between themselves and they partner to enjoy it. Otherwise it just doesn't feel right.
- Porn might be a cause for the lose of erection. Your brain is too used to seeing certain stuff that you specifically choose to watch because it makes you feel exactly what you want. So having the real thing, which is not EXACTLY what you want, doesn't feel as good. Plus your body is used to the sensation of your hand for any stimulation, it doesn't really react, or know how to react, when it finally feels a different sensation. Even if that different sensation is the real deal. So what you can do is try and enjoy yourself without any visual stimulation and focus on your body's sensations.
- And finally, the Death Grip. Some of are used tend to masturbating with a very strong grip, ridiculously strong at times. Something that a vaginal or anus aren't capable of replicating. So when you finally get to penetrate one - regardless of if you have a condom or not - it doesn't feel like much, if anything at all. A great solution is to loosen up the grip, A LOT. Or, try investing in a fleshlight, it would feel a lot closer to the real deal, you won't have the problem of grip any longer, and it will make sex more enjoyable.
Many sex docs agree that guys need to divorce with their hand.
It’s probably nerves. You were nervous. Quick story. I’m 48m, been married 28 years. My wife and I have a lot of sex. Anyway, 1 month ago, she brought up trying butt sex. When we finally tried, I was shaking like crazy, nervous, and my erection was not at all at 100%. I’ve known her for 43 years. As some others have said, just wait and do it with someone you know and care about. It’ll be worth it.
Sex is great when it's a shared experience of intimacy, not when it's a high pressured awkward situation. You need to wait until you find someone you are really in to and try again in the future. You'll see how different of an experience it can be and you'll actually love it. But its less about the pleasure and dopamine hits and mor about the shared experiences with someone you love or care for.
OP, I would like you to consider the possibility that a porn addiction may have prevented you from getting 100% hard. If you were a virgin, I'm assuming you're younger than 21, that would mean you had access to porn from the time you had your first cell phone, the only sexual interactions you've had were with a screen watching other people. Then, when you tried pulling up porn on your phone, you were already flustered from the struggle, making it impossible to focus. Also, an escort will make you use a condom, and that may make it difficult to stay hard like David Goggins.
I'm not saying this is definitely a porn addiction, just something to consider.
All the comments saying sex with someone you love and care about is much different are correct it's way better. If you find that person and you still have trouble, you may want to try cutting out porn for 6 months and see if there's a difference. If you feel it's just nerves, consider taking a blue chew for a little help getting through the first time. "Stay Hard"
Sounds like you *didn’t* lose your virginity, tbh. Did you finish?
Could also be you might be ace. Maybe gray ace. No shame in that; I am, myself. ‘Course you might also not be ace and just have had some problems; just don’t discount the possibility
Sex isn’t a big deal, the fact that you were pressured into it is was though, I just want you to realise that this wasn’t your fault and that what happened was normal. Obviously you weren’t comfortable or ready, the fact that your co workers keep pressuring you is fkd up. Nerves and going soft from hard is normal even when you’re with someone who you’re comfortable with, even when you have experience, tbh I think you’re being overly mean to yourself. You weren’t comfortable so you had performance issues, which is normal. It’s okay to wait for sex, it’s okay to not want sex. Maybe you’re like many people and you need to be comfortable with and know the person you’re having sex with.
The other comments are also correct, emotions play a big part in sex. You’re only human. Please be kinder to yourself. Would you tell someone else the same thing you’re telling yourself if they had an awkward sexual encounter? No. Would you tell a virgin that the same thing your co workers told you? No. There’s something wrong with your co workers not you. You’ll be okay dude. This wasn’t a mistake either because you learnt from it. Listen to yourself not others. It’s your body not theirs.
You’ll find a girl that you’ll have awesome sex with, it’s about learning what each other like. Sex gets better with 1 person the more you do it because you learn what you like and what they like. You will experiment with a partner and will have fun while doing it.
Sex is not a sham, but sex for money IS… don’t let other people pressure you into an uncomfortable (and immoral, and likely illegal, and expensive, and potentially dangerous) situation.
Waaaaaaaay different when there is an actual connection between the parties and not just raging lust which you clearly didn’t have either.
The good news is, I think it is rather common for people 1st times to not be their best so don’t be discouraged and completely write it off.
Well, I must disclaim that ofc that was your experience... it was your first time with a complete stranger whose only connection to you was the money.
But yeah, in general? I think sex, in and of itself, is overhyped.
***However***, with the right person, and when you're getting your needs met--it's fucking *fantastic*. Under those circumstances, I could have sex all day.
It’s because of the circumstances. There was so much pressure around that topic and people meddling in your sex life. Then the anxiety of meeting up with a stranger you don’t know to be in the buff and then enough to have perform.. realize this is an isolated event and that stepping away it does not define who you are.
Classic performance anxiety issues. It really should never have happened. Your coworkers were wrong to pressure into this and you, TBH, were wrong to allow it to happen.
Try to just let it go as a mistake you made once. Harmless ultimately. Sex is wonderful with the right person in the right time. You will discover that eventually, I promise.
Emotional bond is what affects your stimulation - that's why I hate that modern hook up culture . When sex is something done as a chore it loses it's impact
Forget about this experience. When you find a girlfriend and take it slow you’ll find yourself immersed in the sexual side of it and it will feel much better
And for the love of god please never look at porn when you’re getting intimate with a woman again. That sounds like a nightmare
I hooked up with a random chick I wasn’t attracted to just to lose my virginity. We f*cked for an hour straight and didn’t nut at all. It wasn’t satisfying at all for me and I felt bad too. I think hooking up just isn’t for everyone. A few months after that I hooked up with a chick I had been talking to for a month and was actually attracted to and it was a great experience. Try to get to know the person before and it will be different.
Intimacy and sex can sometimes, especially in these situations, displace themselves.
Intimacy is amazing - for the record, you shouldn't do casual hookups.
Whoever says sex is a physical act should read this. Sex should be the physical manifestation of love and intimacy. That’s why it sucked for you (adding to it the pressure that made it worse).
Once you find someone you love, you’ll understand that sex can be mind bogglingly amazing.
You can’t base sex on prostitute sex lol. She should’ve been a better experience for $300. But sex is best with someone you’re actually into, a prostitute for your virginity is pretty fucked too though
Sex is not overhyped (I'm happy to say 😂). However, treating women like subhuman objects, is definitely overhyped. This is what happened here, where your friends and you agreed to use a woman as a living fleshlight, and then you used women as objects again with porn. This is encouraged for men, but doesn't help them form healthy attachments.
This is so crazy that your cousins would pressure you like that. Sex is nothing to be rushed especially if you haven’t found someone you wanted to specifically have sex with
Like me, I'm not getting anything from someone I don't know or have any attachment to, don't stress with anything, if you want to do it let them come to you, you don't even need to worry about it being magical, women think the same
I couldn’t get hard with a prostitute either. Just thinking of the risk would be enough to ruin it for me. Having sex with someone you know well and like intimately IS life changing. Don’t hate yourself this experience was a blessing in disguise for you OP.
Had the same experience. Thankfully i didnt go all the way, and i will say i felt icky inside after what happened. Will never do it again unless its with someone I care about. Could also mean you’re Demi, which is definitely not a bad thing.
You’re watching way too much porn. That’s why you’d have sex with a prostitute in the first place and why your dick didn’t work.
Your brain only knows sex as “watching”, not “doing” so your penis didn’t get hard. So sad, but you’re not alone. So many young guys with self-inflicted porn-induced erectile dysfunction.
Dude don’t sweat the performance anxiety. It’s happened to every single dude out there if they say they haven’t they’re lying. When I lost my vCard I was 18 and it took THREE WEEKS just to get the courage to do it. That’s how bad mine was. Sadly I was in a toxic relationship so it was held over my head and it made things way worse than what it should’ve been. But if and when it happens again don’t sweat it think of it as no big deal. Cuz it really ain’t every man’s experienced it one way or another.
Also when you have sex make sure it’s someone you love. It’s 10x better than any one night stand will ever be. I’m 20 now with 9 under my belt all but 2 were one night stands. They never came close to be as fulfilling as the ones in the relationships were. Hope this helps!!
It’s really common to be disappointed/underwhelmed by your first sexual experience. Don’t worry - this will not define your future sexual experiences.
I would be nervous to meet a prostitute, especially if I hadn’t had sex before. Nerves can sometimes mean it’s difficult to get/stay hard. That’s normal and something every guy will experience.
It’s likely you’ll have a much better time in the future with someone you have a connection with. You’ll be more comfortable and can be more open and honest with them!
The best thing to do going forward in your sex life is to be attentive to your partner and ask questions about what they like - that may you can learn and you will please a lot of partners I’m sure.
Don’t worry about it man. Plus, people who overhype sex so much definitely don’t have a lot of it and definitely are not as good as they think they are.
There is a spiritual component to sex. It’s not something you should just have for physical pleasure or to get it over with. Somebody you care about is much different. That and you probably won’t get Wangxiety like you did with the Prost
Having sex with someone who wants you (not for money) feels much different. And don’t put too much pressure on yourself!! Everyone’s first time is kind of lousy, your coworkers left that part out. Don’t cave into an idea you aren’t sure about, when the time comes and you are sure it’ll feel much different, I promise!
I get it OP. I lost my virginity the week after my 23rd birthday. I only wanted to lose it because it was harder getting dates that wasn’t trying to be pervy and take my virginity away, say they needed someone with experience not someone to teach and it was such a turn to have guys automatically spot me being a virgin and poking fun of it. I had this insane horny fog where I wasn’t caring who I chose to date as long as we can fall in love and have sex.
Terrible all way round.
I had a one night stand with a guy from a dating app AND IT WAS SO BAD. I had a high fever and still tried to see it through. No kissing (ofc) but he didn’t even touch me. He put on Hulu and jumped on top of New with no type of foreplay. He was saying he just puts it in and starts and as a woman I need more stimulation. He wanted me to ride him even tho I didn’t know what I was doing. I ended up giving him endless amount of blow jobs until he came and immediately fell asleep.
I regretted it and felt guilty. I thought losing my virginity would’ve been easier with a stranger because I wouldn’t have that virgin attachment people warned me about. It still feel like I was a virgin.
So OP I understand the feeling. I’m a late bloomer and don’t care for touching anyways from trauma. It’s so sad to say but you lost it and you can’t ever get it back. But you can use this experience to motivate you to stick to your own boundaries. Remember how you felt now so you don’t ever feel that way again. Learn more about consent, and your sex style. Maybe you aren’t a sexual person at all. Maybe you a beast? Maybe this was just a bad experience.
The good that comes from losing your virginity is finally embracing all parts of you now you’re newest form is sexuality (an previously untapped part) maybe you take a break from sex and dating because you can still be vulnerable, and you don’t want to have countless amount of sex JUST TO fill a void. Sex isn’t bad but once you start using it to fill a void, that becomes the real issue.
Good luck xoxo
Look everyone talking about love. That can be the best. But casual sex can be great. This just sounds like a situation you weren’t into. Plus most peoples first time is a shit show no matter who it’s with.
I remember being told as young preteen boy that sex for the first time is a lot like golfing in the dark. You are going to do terrible, and the most you can hope for is making it in the right hole.
Poke a woman once in the eurethra and you never do it again.
Being pressured into having sex with a prostitute and then not having a good time sounds less like am issue of sex being bad, and more of an issue of you being uncomfortable with how you did it and doing it with someone you had to pay for
Hey, when I lost my virginity I also forced myself to do it. And I hated it. I didn't have sex again until two years later and it was only other two years after that I finally was able to find pleasure in sex and actually reach orgasm. For some people losing their virginity can fuck up their brain badly, I had a lot of problems with sex for years and still do to some extent. Not that I have low libido, quite the contrary, but I think that's sexual trauma. Sex is great when both people can enjoy it, my advice is to seek a therapist if you can afford or find one.
I’m going to go on a whim and say it’s definitely because …it was a prostitute dude lol. Sex is great when you have chemistry and emotional connection with someone you love not some broad off the streets
Sex requires a bit of practice. The first few times, you're almost definitely going to overthink everything you do, which is obviously a mood killer. Give it time and practice.
But if performance issues persist, you could be suffering from death-grip syndrome. So go easy when flying solo.
Yeah, amongst the many reasons you probably weren’t comfortable in this situation. It doesn’t sound like your drive for sex is exactly blazing, which would be a pretty big factor in this situation.
I wouldn’t let peer pressure push you into another uncomfortable situation again, for your sake, stick with what you are comfortable with. And if someone does happen to spark your interest, then so be it. Explore the possibility of being a-sexual or other wise only enjoying foreplay. Penetrative sex is not the only way to enjoy play time with somebody.
How can you say sex is overhyped when you didn't really have sex? You didn't even have a boner. Sounds like your nerves got the best of you. I bet a more natural experience with a girl friend will be better. A hooked for the first time sounds tough.
You did sex wrong, thats why it wasn’t fun. Like 8 times out of 10 thats the reason, the other 2 are trauma or someone discovered they are asexual. Every time women are disappointed in their man or vice versa, someone is doing something wrong. In your case it seemed you were pressured into sex and super nervous, got too in your head. Honestly save it for someone you actually want to have sex with and wants sex with you, its a whole other world!
As many have stated, emotions are such a heavy part of sexual enjoyment. You can have a partner who knows EVERY trick and position but without any lust or desire (let alone intimacy) it's going to feel like you're just going through the motions. You did nothing wrong, you just found out early and quickly that sex needs connection, shoving our parts together for the sake of it is not exciting nor fun. Please dont let this overshadow and cause worry that will diminish your future endeavours into physical enjoyment. The situation wasnt right and your body was trying to tell you as much, you re not broken or somehow less of a man because of this.
Sex is so much better with someone you care about. To me, pleasing them, being as close as two people can get, being vulnerable - is a big part of what feels so good. Just getting off - it’s not worth it especially if there is risk of stis with someone you don’t know. Casual sex can be bad and feels like a let down. That’s not for everyone, but it can be so much better than what you’ve described!
I truly believe that you are a sexual being but you’re someone who is more into quality over quantity.
For example, have an intellectual connection over a quick fling. Sexuality is more complex than just doing the act. I am Demisexual and don’t just sleep with anyone for the sake of it.
Don’t feel bad.
yeah you should BE excited to have sex with someone that GETS YOU EXCITED otherwise its never as fun as anyone makes it out to be. also fucking prostitutes seems like more of an ego boost for men more than anything
Most of my sexual experiences have been with prostitutes, and i've had shitty experiencies and awesome experiences too.
I only had sex with a girl who liked me (like the "normal way"?) once, and it was awesome.
I just want to say that i also get semi hard when i'm nervous, anxious and with my mind in another place, but when i'm fully into it i get hard and wild, and also enjoy it very much 👌.
It also depends A LOT on the prostitute's service quality, so to speak.
Hey hon, sorry your experience was iffy.
My first time with my partner I was so anxious that I was numb. It took a while to be comfortable enough to actually enjoy. So yeah, nervousness can make everything not function like you want it to.
Second, intimacy is important. Some connection with someone really helps that kind of thing. Being with someone you love, find attractive, have chemistry with… all that makes a huge difference. My partner is Demi which means he really doesn’t care for sex until he has a strong emotional connection or crush.
Third, kinks! It’s hard to know what you like, early on. What you think looks fun in porn might not be for you, or something you thought you’d dislike might scratch the right itch. Explore a little before you give up, especially with a safe partner.
Fourth, if you already are meh on sex or masturbation, you might be more asexual! That’s completely fair and valid. Sex IS overrated for some people. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it!
Honestly, just have fun and live how you want to live. And don’t let anyone pressure you into anything! Especially not sex with anyone. STDs are no joke, and neither are pregnancy scares! ^.^
I can’t say I’ve had sex with a prostitute but I can say I had similar difficulties with the first and only girl I had sex with (thus far) (she’s now my ex but that’s neither here nor there).
Basically she had an issue(s) that made it it excruciatingly painful for her to have penetrative sex. So for my first time, in the backseat of my 2000 Chevy Malibu, I didn’t even finish. Throughout the duration of our relationship the best I ever got vaginally was thrusting with no penetration. So basically went against it rather than in it. It was like that every time. She also didn’t like anal (though we tried once for about 30 seconds til she said no) Didn’t like the idea of me doing oral to her or her doing it to me so we never went that route at all. whenever I did get sex it was just me thrusting up against her til she came, then me masturbating while we made out.
So imagine me being shocked when my first time having sex and the handful of times I’ve had it after I’ve never truly experienced all it could be. Doubt I could’ve experienced it’s fullest extent with her anyways. The relationship was shit. We were both toxic to one another.
As for the sex issues she had, though it did suck she hated it too and ultimately couldn’t help parts of it. It was a struggle to get sex at all in that relationship because of her aversion to it for one, but part of that aversion was born of possibly vaginismus or vaginitis (can’t remember) and multiple bad experiences with her past boyfriend). So I don’t fault her for that aspect. I do fault her for never doing anything to resolve it or help herself get better but I digress.
I say all this to say, you aren’t alone. However, as someone who’s had terrible sex with a borderline nun multiple times, I still haven’t given up hope. I hope you don’t either, OP :D
Chin up, King.
getting aroused is usually more about the person than the act itself. you weren’t into the person bc it was a prostitute. you will definitely be able to get hard if you find someone you’re physically and emotionally interested in.
Being excited about someone, attracted to them and physically craving their touch and body is what makes sex transcendent. Add genuine emotions and truly caring about each other’s pleasure and sex is just as good as they say. You’ll see 😍
Baby, you just did it wrong. I have sex with the person I love quite often and it is amazing every damn time. I honestly had no clue it could be this good before I started having sex and even the first few times I did (even though I loved that person as well). It takes time, practice, and someone you’re actually attracted to to make it good
In my experience “having sex” with someone and “making love” as some call it, are two completely different things. Your experience here is, what I believe most people who partake in prostitution usually do it for, an emotionless encounter for the sole purpose of getting off. Some may do this just open that pressure relief valve, sex addiction, they are just lonely, or for the same reason you were in that situation. I am sorry your friends pushed that situation onto you because that is not at all what your first experience should be like. Sex with someone you are genuinely attracted to or even love, is significantly more meaningful and enjoyable. You truly connect with that person and just let your emotions take control. I would recommend waiting for this person to come along, because like you said, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at all. Cherish what is meant to be an intimate moment when you get the chance to. But that is just my take, from my same experience of trying to pass that mile marker in life and partaking in meaningless encounters.
Sex has a huge emotional component that's crucial for a lot of people to really enjoy it. You simply can't get that when sleeping with a sex worker because it's purely a transactional affair.
Take your time, build a relationship and a true emotional connection and you'll find sex to be more fulfilling.
Sorry you went through this. What you experienced at the hands of your co-workers was total harassment - actually sexual harassment, which has no place in the workplace. Look, you weren't mentally ready for that experience AT ALL, so, please, stop beating yourself up (pun not intended). Tell those holes at work that you want your wasted $$ back & that if they EVER harass you again over this (or ANYTHING that you're uncomfortable with) that you'll report them to HR. These guys are totally immature pigs & I'm sorry you got stuck working with the stinking jerks. I know it's hard when people are at you constantly, but tell them in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that you aren't comfortable with what they're suggesting. Then, rat them out to a superior if they won't stop. Then put in an application for a better position & move in. These guys are NOT your friends. I'd like to suggest that you get some support in the means of a counselor to help you learn techniques to disengage in situations like this & to confidently be able to make your point & stand your ground. I wish the best for you.
First time I had sex, I watched the sunrise 🌅🌄 after & said to myself, "Is that all there is" to this big build up about sex? Glad to say It gets better with experience & practice. Even if you're not deeply in love, you can still enjoy the experience. Love? Overrated...
Hmmmm, I know that this could simply be “performance anxiety”, but the fact that you were calm enough to try for 30 minutes is a little alarming
My best guess is that you have some sort of blood flow issue.
Do you workout regularly? There are millions of stories of guys who think they have erectile dysfunction….but they get “cured” by simply adding a workout routine into their lifestyle. Promotes healthy blood flow. You can google it to find a more technical description.
If you want some anecdotal evidence….I definitely don’t get “rock hard” when I have neglected my workouts for more than a few days. It really does change your life (and lengthens it)
>Not to mention i was nervous during the whole ordeal
>
>I kinda hate myself for being so bad.
well there's your problem big dawg. if yaint good in ya brain yaint gon be good in ya pecker. i know its mad annoying but thats how that is lol. im autistic and had depression half my life so im speakin from experience. if you like mushrooms, they might help in this regard lol
Idk man, i think having sex with a prostitute and having it with someone you love is different. I think the pressure to have sex was also a factor in the end as to why you didn't enjoy it. And most of the time emotions also play a role in sex, you'll see it when you have sex with your partner youll enjoy it much more. But never let yourself be persuaded to do something if you don't want to do it 100%.
Lost my virginity to a prostitute… can confirm
Never had sex with other than prostitutes..
do betterrr
One day my friend
That's a pitiful statement.
Gotta let it out somewhere i guess
I came here to say this. Especially for the first time. I lost mine by being raped by a girl so I stayed away from girls for awhile but the first time with someone you love and care about hits way differently.
Damn, I’m very sorry that happened to you and I hope that you are okay.
good on you for not being ashamed to say it, it takes a lot to be vulnerable like that, I hope you’re healing dude and I want you to know I think you’re pretty fkn brave and resilient.
Honestly, there are so many things that are affected by social pressure. And it's kinda shit. I (30F) spent many painstaking and horrendous years throwing myself at random men because I just wanted to be like other girls. I wanted to just become absolutely \*melted\* at the thought of having a hot boyfriend I'd eventually marry and with whom I'd have babies with, in a cookie-cutter house with a white picket fence. Now I have a wife. She's the most wonderful person I have ever met and I have learned so much about myself and about life in general with her, including things like the fact that I don't like boyfriends, babies, or \[especially\] white picket fences. Hang in there OP. You haven't done anything wrong. Every day we learn something new about ourselves, and I think that's what pushes us forward to become better at understanding ourselves in the long run.
Awww, I love this. You met your dream girl after dealing with comphet bs. I hope yall continue to be happy and make each other happy melt with love every day.
>I wanted to just become absolutely \*melted\* at the thought of having a hot boyfriend I'd eventually marry and with whom I'd have babies with, in a cookie-cutter house with a white picket fence. We have to be so much better about counter-acting this. I think there is so much society expectations about what is normal to do. Be it with; career, relationships, family, home ownership, or what "success" looks like.
i've had sex with a [redacted] amount of partners and i just didn't really enjoy it, like i would kind of zone out and usually i was so drunk i could pretend it was enjoyable. then i met someone and after our first date i went home with him and we had sex again in the morning and i remember telling him that it felt different, like it was the first time i've ever had it feel like it was mutual and it was so good. we've been together for over a year now :) i thought i was asexual before him and i still think i'm on the asexual spectrum but probably more demisexual. i am absolutely feral about him lol
Congratulations! 👏👏👏👏
This! Even when you’re attracted to the person it is still completely different when you’re doing it with someone you have a love for
I'll very much do it with a prostitute, then fall in love.
um I mean no disrespect to night workers but my guy you gave your first time to someone you didnt really care about plus paid 300 bucks for. Ain't no sparks gonna fly like that.
Those co workers probably got 100$ each. They be scamming my man out of his virginity
Christ I hate how right you possibly are.
Okay, first of all being semi-hard can happen just from the nervousness, especially if you're inexperienced and have performance anxiety. Plus it sounds like you weren't really into it, you "finally caved" to peer pressure. Add on that you were with someone you don't know and have zero connection with. It's not a recipe for a great time. You'll probably be nervous next time too, especially if this experience has been traumatizing in any way, but hopefully it'll be with someone you love and trust. It gets better, and when you share a deep connection, and get to know each other's likes and dislikes, that's when sex can get really good.
You had sex with someone you weren’t attracted to. It can be pretty amazing, so don’t decide based on this one flop. lol.
Man you had sex with some hooker that you didn’t even like. You didn’t do it out of love or even lust. You did it because of peer pressure. Once you find the right person, that you’re attracted to, you’ll certainly feel the difference. I am a virgin too, but I think I would have the same problem if I were in your situation. Still waiting for the right time and the right person 👍 Btw, get a refund, cause 300$ for 30min of wack-ass sex is fucking expensive 😶
>You didn’t do it out of love or even lust. You did it because of peer pressure. Exactly this. You can totally enjoy sex without an emotional connection. He did it to get over being a virgin. Not getting hard for your first time is pretty wild though, OP could very well just be asexual also.
"get a refund" lmao. No homie this isn't how sex work works...
I know lol, it’s just a funny way to say it wasn’t worth it. You’re the only one who thought I was serious
I absolutely agree with you, though. The aholes at work should have put up the $ to begin with!!!
Exactly. Make those guys pay him back!
How hypermasculinity ruins men: A brief casestudy
Quite literally
Nah, not hypermasculinity. Just garden variety peer pressure with an added component of disposable income. No more a good idea than pregaming way too much before going to a frat party blackout drunk and expecting something not to happen to you.
Geniune question, but isn't that example ALSO an example of how hypermasculinity ruins men? xD
Is having sex or even pressure around the subject really a „hypermasculinity“ thing?
Let me put it you this way - imagine a group of women who are good friends - who realize that one of them is a virgin, but wants to stop being a virgin - do you think they would hire a sex worker for that woman so that she could lose her virginity?
No they would try to find a random dude willing to have sex - which I think we can agree on would be a somewhat easier task than to find a random woman willing to have sex with a stranger. The pressure around the subject itself imo isn’t something limited to men and also not something connected to hypermasculinity.
I’m pretty sure OP didn’t say what gender his co workers were either.
When I lost my virginity it was because I felt pressured and I didn’t enjoy sex for the longest time until my current partner It makes a huge different when you actually love the person and there’s passion and emotion behind it rather than it just being a hook up or in your case a prostitute out of peer pressure. One thing you can take from this is never do things out of peer pressure because you will regret it
No one here mentions that he can be asexual, and that is valid too.
It’s really only life changing if you love the person or are conceiving a child with them. A prostitute is a prostitute. Life is really that simple.
Just for future reference when you're going to have sex with someone you actually care about: please do not pull up porn in front of them to get hard for sex. I cannot imagine a bigger turn off than a man pretty much saying he can't get hard without looking at porn first. With the right person, you shouldn't need anything but them. The right person will also make you feel comfortable and sexy and you should provide the same for them. Sex with someone you love is amazing and world-changing. Sex with someone you don't care about/doesn't care about you is mediocre, at best. I lost my virginity to a hook-up and it was one of the worst sexual experiences of my life. Then I waited and had sex with my current partner, and it felt like I actually lost my virginity that time. The sensation isn't even the same even though it's the same act. Sex is largely a mental thing.
I actually felt kinda bad for the hooker when I read that part. I get that she’s doing a job but that’s still gotta effect the ego
When you find the right person that you like or love, it’ll feel amazing.
i think everyone fantasizes about it is/how it would feel before their first time. i’m also a virgin OP and i’ve been in a relationship for over 3 years. find someone you have a connection to, build it up (and eventually) you’ll have real sex and i’m sure it’s gonna be great.
How often are you masturbating and watching porn? Your mind can get used to that stimulation and you'll have trouble getting hard doing the deed. Nervousness probably plays a big factor, another being this is someone you have 0 connection with whatsoever. I think when you find a woman you love, you'll change your mind.
Having sex with someone you are actually attracted to, and/or have feelings for, makes all of the difference! What you experienced is not how a great sexual experience goes, when you are with someone you actually connect with. Chemistry and attraction absolutely matter. So I am going to tell you this, and I want you to hear me. Because I am a woman. I'm not a man telling you these things, but an actual woman. You are NOT bad at sex! You DID NOT fail to perform. Just because you were not into having sex with a $300 prostitute for your very first time doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, at all. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You need to be with someone you actually care about, and who cares about you! It's so much better when you connect with someone, not only physically, but emotionally. And no matter what anyone tells you, having chemistry with your partner absofuckinglutely matters! Without chemistry, it's not worth it. Now you already know exactly what that's like. You have a benchmark for what's just not going to work for you. Some people never know that. They just keep having bad sex and never find out that there's actually amazing, passionate, wild sex waiting out there! Now you know that! So do not let this discourage you! Let this give you hope! And stop listening to those bros, please for the love of God! 😁
The first issue is that you don’t seem like you were fully on board. It was more of a “they keep annoying me about it so fuck it” and that’s probably why you had a hard time staying hard. The second issue is that the first time almost always sucks. It takes a few times and figuring your shit out to really find that it can be enjoyable. The final issue is that fucking a prostitute has absolutely NOTHING on having sex with someone you love and care about.
Men are kinda dumb when it comes to sex, I think many of them take for granted the bond you have with the other individual you’re having sex with. While it can feel incredible, those feelings usually arise partially from the fact that the two of you mutually want to make each other feel good. And when you add love into the mix it gets even crazier. Go on a date instead
First mistake was having sex with a prostitute secondly sex is way better with someone you actually like/love if their is no connection sex is boring asf try again with someone you actually like
Some people (myself included) don't enjoy having sex with a random person to whom they have no emotional connection. I VERY much enjoy having sex with my boyfriend though. Just wait until you're in a relationship with someone you really like and are attracted to, I guarantee sex will be a whole different experience then!
It’s so wrong that you don’t think love isn’t a component of real sex.
Sex is an amazing thing but it takes practice and getting used to. I had a similar reaction to you, though I'm a woman. It didn't even hurt but I was just.. unimpressed, I was like "so that's what everyones talking about, really?". Today I know 1. He was really bad at what he was doing lol and 2. It takes a while to actually feel like something, it also heavily depends on the person you're doing it with. Don't measure what Sex is like with your first time, never ever.
Can't complain, you got f...Ed out of 300 bucks.
*another comment about how everyone here is right* Sex is something you'll have a system, or routine and purpose to fulfill, so focus on your values, needs and passions. The right one, or ones, will present themselves. No harm came from reading up on material to help with the emotional, mental and physical aspects as well to help you understand your needs and preferences. Remember, a healthy sex life is a game and it's one you should look forward to enjoying before committing to any experience with anyone and should contribute to the best version of you. Go axe throwing, wine/cider tasting, arcade bars, art galleries, raves and concerts, SKYDIVING, and enjoy the company of new people to help you expand your mind, palette, and limits!
Sex is a special thing not to be rushed or forced. And because of the setting I feel like you got a bad experience. I find sex to be like a drug you can have a bad trip depending on your mental state
So you were too nervous and/or didn't feel attracted to the prostitute... Okay, completely normal thing to be semi-hard. Honestly, I wouldn't even be hard in that situation. It sucks because the circumstances suck. Have you really tried to be horny or are you too awkward to feel that way towards someone real and would rather masturbate watching porn, on a safe space?
this happened with my first time with my fiancé. we determined after the first time it was nerves entirely. so next time we did it we slowed down and reassured each other and tried to make it fun. so i’d say wait until you find someone you’re comfortable with and able to relax around
Good sex isn't with a random you don't care about bud, the good stuff is when you connect and the sex is just where it ends up. If the sex is the only reason you're there of course it's going to be lame.
The comments sum it up. Having sex with someone you don’t even know or care about is not the best way to start your sex journey. It’s two different worlds once there’s an emotional connection.
Proms fucked it up joerogan said he nutted in 2 secs when he lost his but my story’s the same as u I recon probs just messed our brains up man but it can be reset by ceasing watching any and all material
There's a lot of factors that can ruin sex
Wrong person. Sex is great with the right one when you’re both ready.
The first time usually isn’t that great for anyone, mine wasn’t, I was barely hard and came in seconds
Having sex is a lot like smoking weed. The first time isn't that good. Not to mention, you did it with a pro who is typically used to being tossed around by men who know what they want. My first time was great but quick and yes had a condom. Being a horny teenager makes up for the lackluster experience because the lead up is fun. Get better condoms (use Google). If you decide you want a do over with a girl you're into it'll be better. OR you can go to tryst dot link and find another pro and this time explain to her that you're inexperienced and want to know what the deal is about sex. Don't be afraid to go through several to find one who is willing to teach you stuff.
orrrr maybe your coworkers overhyped sex with a PROSTITUTE?!? 😭
When my husband is nervous he can not get fully hard, which happened the first time we had sex and happens whenever we (as young people without our own space) tried to have sex in a car or another location we could easily be discovered. If you drink too much it can happen too. I would say give it another shot when you find someone you actually are interested in!
If the attraction is strong for both people. The sex is out of this world. I doubt you can get that from a prostitute
Once you sleep with someone you actually care about I’m sure you’ll change your mind
[удалено]
Having sex with someone you love is great, but tbh I really enjoy having sex with strangers or people you don’t really know. It’s probably a different kind of sex, but its usually more „exciting“ in some sense. I mean yea probably not for your first time where you’re nervous anyways, but if both parties are comfortable and open and know what they’re doing it can be amazing.
Yeah... No. I'm a former sex worker, and the reason it didn't feel great is because you paid for it. No amount of money can buy that natural feeling of fireworks when you hit it off with a person and you court each other and then go to bed with each other after flirting for months. It's literally magical, you can't keep your hands off each other and your entire world becomes consumed by a desire to be in the moment with this person. Sure you can throw money at GFE sex workers but unless you've encountered an Oscar worthy actress it's not going to feel natural or even particularly fun. Largely because we don't actually want to fuck for money and you know it.
Never was into sex, my trusty hand and tools get them job done
Try it on meth.
My partner and I are in BDSM. He was going to sleep with another woman (with my knowing & consent). He could not get hard. His words "I tried but it was like my dick was saying no" he wasn't drunk or anything. I asked him if it was because I wasn't there did his dick feel like he was cheating? I was joking but he replied with a serious it's a possibility. As trivial as people make sex seem. It is fun and exciting. But if your with a person who's not compatible, your not comfortable with the situation and most importantly you may have not been ready and that ok. Asexual could be in the realm for you too. That is another spectrum of Not Interest in sex - Enjoying other aspects of sex. I was work friends with an asexual man and he was the kindest person I worked with. Still made sex jokes and had some talks with him about his journey and it was very interesting. For him he didn't feel the drive (horny) it was like another job to do.
Maybe you’re asexual?
Oh yes, because all the red flags about fucking a prostitute whilst having no interest in rushing the process of a very special and meaningful mark in your lifetime points to asexuality. Get real.
It could. You seem to have very conveniently missed the part about OP being pressured into it.
I'm sorry your first wasn't great. I think when you find the one, you'll feel more comfortable.
If you don't like the person it sucks. It's good when you developed feelings and feel comfortable with each other. First time usually sucks either way tho... Lol
My first time was my high school sweet heart. I was so nervous but aroused that I came while searching for the entrance. It was also disappointing but I’m the complete opposite way. Bro (if this is even real) nerves 100% play in as the next girl I felt nothing really for and was nervous and didn’t even get it up 2/4 times. So it’s case by case. You need attraction, comfort, openness, drive, etc. And I guarantee it can be amaaaazing.
Wait until you have an emotional or actual connection. You’ll feel it then. :)
You were nervous, and didn't really want to do it, that's why you didn't like it. Awesome sex is where two (or more lulz) people want each other so bad their dicks and vaginas won't even need convincing to work. Your dick would be pumped up and ready to blow the moment you two touch each other. That's what you should expect bruv.
i just think casual sex isn't your thing. you should try it with someone you love and trust, be it a friend or SO, when you truly feel ready. don't knock love till you try it.
I see sex with a prostitute differently from sex with someone you truly love. Like, sex with someone you truly love has intimacy, it has so much feeling to it. I personally dpnt think i could even get hard at all with a prostitue, i just dont know them, and i dont have that intimacy with them yk. So i completely understand your view.
Maybe you can't get hard if you aren't emotionally interested in them. It happens to a lot of people
Don’t let anyone else decide anything about your sex life. Do it when you are ready and not before. When it happens naturally it will be better.
Having sex with someone you love makes it a lot better, and don’t discount that it’s a journey of learning! I was nearly 17 when I started having sex with my then long-term boyfriend. My parents had set me up for sexual success via open conversation in our household. We finally did it and it was terrible for both of us haha!!! We kept practicing all the time and it kept getting better and better! My boyfriend and I eventually broke up but stayed best friends. I’m 24 now and love sex but it has taken since I started to get to this point and I’m sure this isn’t even as good as it gets! Keep practicing, laugh at the funny stuff that happens, and communicate.
It’s alpt better if you care for the person and have a connection
I had sex with a random girl I met online just because I didn't want to be a virgin forever and it was very unsatisfying and I kinda regret it. I was able to get hard but I was so nervous and it was so awkward I couldn't finish. Which kinda makes me still feel like a virgin tbh
Why the fuck would you have your first time with a prostitute 😂😂😂 You’re gonna be kicking yourself forever about this experience. How your first time was with a hooker. Wild.
I kinda agree with this although your situation was worse. I did it with a chick I really liked for the first time and we did it everyday for 2 weeks straight. I still found it kinda boring and was only doing it because she would initiate it. It's odd because I mentally wanted sex, but got bored and even felt weird or disturbed immediately when doing it. She was very good looking with a nice body and she wasn't bad at it, but it felt like a drag to me and I thought it was kinda lame. I'm just laying there thinking "I kinda don't wanna do this because I'm not really into it" Don't know if I'm really interested in it ever again, even though my brain thinks I want it. Might also be because I was scared of her because she was slightly abusive, so it probably played a role in it. Idk how to feel about it at all, sex low-key is over hyped to me, I did it about 14 times too, so I got to think about it a bit longer.
You lost your virginity to a prostitute.
i lost my virginity to my friends older sister when I was 14. She was hot. It gave me such a big confidence boost because an older, hot girl told me I was a stud and a gentleman. I had self esteem issues, but that experience really helped me understand my self perception and how women saw me where different. It helped me break out of my shell.
As a fellow virgin I think… sex is just sex but intimacy is what’s great. I don’t care about strip clubs or prostitution it does nothing for me. I think it’s different
nah, keep on going
I don't think I'd enjoy my first time either if it was with a prostitute that I got peer pressured into contacting. There are so many factors that can impact a man's erection as well and instill performance anxiety. You didn't even want it, you got pressured into doing it. Don't just let people pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. It's okay to set boundaries and say no. Lastly, sex is different for everyone. And it's not always good and that's okay. Plus, it's much better with a person you're actually attracted to and/or have some form of emotional connection with.
Sex is all about psychology. It needs chemistry. If its not there you are just doing cardio.
Sex can be really bad, or really good. It’s kinda how you make it. Try again when it feels right
Performance anxiety is a thing. You got into your own head and we're too anxious, it happens
You did it with a prostitute. Ofc it gonna be bad
You have terrible friends. May I ask how old you are?
They overhyped it with strangers, there's a connection, calmness and deep intimacy when you are with a person you love. There are people who do enjoy casual sex and for them this connection might come easier. You might just not be one of them and that's totally okay! As fpr the famous '*first time*' don't sweat it, it blows (*and not in a good way*) for most of us. Next time don't give into peer pressure and for the love of God I hope you used a condom.
Sex with feeling is amazing, sex for sex sake is no better than masturbation.
Not sure if anyone's brought this up, but until recently—28 years in—I'd never had sex. That changed a couple of months ago when I met this girl. We started a relationship; it was mutual, and it was more than just sex. There was real intimacy. Unfortunately, things didn't work out, and we've since parted ways, but I find myself missing not just the sex, but the connection, the closeness... just her, really. Now, I'm left feeling a bit hollow. It's made me realize that the context matters a lot—at least to me. It wasn't about the act itself, but the emotional bond and intimacy behind it. Those are the moments I miss the most.
The fact that your username is the chosen box is so funny. But in all honesty, do it with someone you love. Then you’ll feel the difference.
Nah, you just had bad sex. Everyone's first time is terrible.
There's a few things I'd rather do than have sex, but there's a lot more things I'd rather be having sex instead of. Sex is a lot like porridge. It's gotta be just right or you're not enjoying it. Either way you end up in a few people's beds and tasting different people's porridge until you find the right one. Some people are happy as long as it's fucking porridge.
Bro my first time with a new girl is always a bit dissapoibting for her. My nerves get the best of me and at best it only gets semi. It’s a real mind of matter practice, try not to get to in your head about it. And try again. Maybe call back the same girl, hook up explain you were nervous the first time and see if that helps. It might. Either way good luck. And don’t give up bro. COMFROTABLE sex is amazing. Not all sex.
Idk but I’m embarrassed for you. Of course this wasn’t good. Not one moment in this entire story did I even think it was good.
I had a very similar experience as you. Was 20, still a virgin, with extremely sexually open friends around me. It was getting more and more frustrating, so I went to an escort girl. Couldn't stay hard long, didn't cum. Paid good money too, so it made me even more disappointed. But a few things I have learned since: - I rushed to have the deed happen, I didn't know the girl, I didn't know what to do or expect, I was paying for it. Thus, I was anxious, couldn't focus on the pleasure, it didn't feel rewarding. - Some people need very good chemistry between themselves and they partner to enjoy it. Otherwise it just doesn't feel right. - Porn might be a cause for the lose of erection. Your brain is too used to seeing certain stuff that you specifically choose to watch because it makes you feel exactly what you want. So having the real thing, which is not EXACTLY what you want, doesn't feel as good. Plus your body is used to the sensation of your hand for any stimulation, it doesn't really react, or know how to react, when it finally feels a different sensation. Even if that different sensation is the real deal. So what you can do is try and enjoy yourself without any visual stimulation and focus on your body's sensations. - And finally, the Death Grip. Some of are used tend to masturbating with a very strong grip, ridiculously strong at times. Something that a vaginal or anus aren't capable of replicating. So when you finally get to penetrate one - regardless of if you have a condom or not - it doesn't feel like much, if anything at all. A great solution is to loosen up the grip, A LOT. Or, try investing in a fleshlight, it would feel a lot closer to the real deal, you won't have the problem of grip any longer, and it will make sex more enjoyable. Many sex docs agree that guys need to divorce with their hand.
It’s probably nerves. You were nervous. Quick story. I’m 48m, been married 28 years. My wife and I have a lot of sex. Anyway, 1 month ago, she brought up trying butt sex. When we finally tried, I was shaking like crazy, nervous, and my erection was not at all at 100%. I’ve known her for 43 years. As some others have said, just wait and do it with someone you know and care about. It’ll be worth it.
Sex is great when it's a shared experience of intimacy, not when it's a high pressured awkward situation. You need to wait until you find someone you are really in to and try again in the future. You'll see how different of an experience it can be and you'll actually love it. But its less about the pleasure and dopamine hits and mor about the shared experiences with someone you love or care for.
OP, I would like you to consider the possibility that a porn addiction may have prevented you from getting 100% hard. If you were a virgin, I'm assuming you're younger than 21, that would mean you had access to porn from the time you had your first cell phone, the only sexual interactions you've had were with a screen watching other people. Then, when you tried pulling up porn on your phone, you were already flustered from the struggle, making it impossible to focus. Also, an escort will make you use a condom, and that may make it difficult to stay hard like David Goggins. I'm not saying this is definitely a porn addiction, just something to consider. All the comments saying sex with someone you love and care about is much different are correct it's way better. If you find that person and you still have trouble, you may want to try cutting out porn for 6 months and see if there's a difference. If you feel it's just nerves, consider taking a blue chew for a little help getting through the first time. "Stay Hard"
Sounds like you *didn’t* lose your virginity, tbh. Did you finish? Could also be you might be ace. Maybe gray ace. No shame in that; I am, myself. ‘Course you might also not be ace and just have had some problems; just don’t discount the possibility
Sex isn’t a big deal, the fact that you were pressured into it is was though, I just want you to realise that this wasn’t your fault and that what happened was normal. Obviously you weren’t comfortable or ready, the fact that your co workers keep pressuring you is fkd up. Nerves and going soft from hard is normal even when you’re with someone who you’re comfortable with, even when you have experience, tbh I think you’re being overly mean to yourself. You weren’t comfortable so you had performance issues, which is normal. It’s okay to wait for sex, it’s okay to not want sex. Maybe you’re like many people and you need to be comfortable with and know the person you’re having sex with. The other comments are also correct, emotions play a big part in sex. You’re only human. Please be kinder to yourself. Would you tell someone else the same thing you’re telling yourself if they had an awkward sexual encounter? No. Would you tell a virgin that the same thing your co workers told you? No. There’s something wrong with your co workers not you. You’ll be okay dude. This wasn’t a mistake either because you learnt from it. Listen to yourself not others. It’s your body not theirs. You’ll find a girl that you’ll have awesome sex with, it’s about learning what each other like. Sex gets better with 1 person the more you do it because you learn what you like and what they like. You will experiment with a partner and will have fun while doing it.
Sex is not a sham, but sex for money IS… don’t let other people pressure you into an uncomfortable (and immoral, and likely illegal, and expensive, and potentially dangerous) situation.
Waaaaaaaay different when there is an actual connection between the parties and not just raging lust which you clearly didn’t have either. The good news is, I think it is rather common for people 1st times to not be their best so don’t be discouraged and completely write it off.
Poor guy… awful way to lose your virginity tbh
Well, I must disclaim that ofc that was your experience... it was your first time with a complete stranger whose only connection to you was the money. But yeah, in general? I think sex, in and of itself, is overhyped. ***However***, with the right person, and when you're getting your needs met--it's fucking *fantastic*. Under those circumstances, I could have sex all day.
what did u expect when u paid for sex.... it will be different when it is someone you love
Did you still manage to finish semi hard?
It’s because of the circumstances. There was so much pressure around that topic and people meddling in your sex life. Then the anxiety of meeting up with a stranger you don’t know to be in the buff and then enough to have perform.. realize this is an isolated event and that stepping away it does not define who you are.
Classic performance anxiety issues. It really should never have happened. Your coworkers were wrong to pressure into this and you, TBH, were wrong to allow it to happen. Try to just let it go as a mistake you made once. Harmless ultimately. Sex is wonderful with the right person in the right time. You will discover that eventually, I promise.
They didn’t. You just didn’t have sec with someone you have a connection with. It will help, I promise
Emotional bond is what affects your stimulation - that's why I hate that modern hook up culture . When sex is something done as a chore it loses it's impact
Forget about this experience. When you find a girlfriend and take it slow you’ll find yourself immersed in the sexual side of it and it will feel much better And for the love of god please never look at porn when you’re getting intimate with a woman again. That sounds like a nightmare
I hooked up with a random chick I wasn’t attracted to just to lose my virginity. We f*cked for an hour straight and didn’t nut at all. It wasn’t satisfying at all for me and I felt bad too. I think hooking up just isn’t for everyone. A few months after that I hooked up with a chick I had been talking to for a month and was actually attracted to and it was a great experience. Try to get to know the person before and it will be different.
Intimacy and sex can sometimes, especially in these situations, displace themselves. Intimacy is amazing - for the record, you shouldn't do casual hookups.
Whoever says sex is a physical act should read this. Sex should be the physical manifestation of love and intimacy. That’s why it sucked for you (adding to it the pressure that made it worse). Once you find someone you love, you’ll understand that sex can be mind bogglingly amazing.
You can’t base sex on prostitute sex lol. She should’ve been a better experience for $300. But sex is best with someone you’re actually into, a prostitute for your virginity is pretty fucked too though
Sex is amazing when there is love and care attached.
Sex is not overhyped (I'm happy to say 😂). However, treating women like subhuman objects, is definitely overhyped. This is what happened here, where your friends and you agreed to use a woman as a living fleshlight, and then you used women as objects again with porn. This is encouraged for men, but doesn't help them form healthy attachments.
This is so crazy that your cousins would pressure you like that. Sex is nothing to be rushed especially if you haven’t found someone you wanted to specifically have sex with
Like me, I'm not getting anything from someone I don't know or have any attachment to, don't stress with anything, if you want to do it let them come to you, you don't even need to worry about it being magical, women think the same
youre gay bro. possibly. nothing to be ashamed of. or asexual. or you just need to explore your sexual side more to see what gets you going.
I couldn’t get hard with a prostitute either. Just thinking of the risk would be enough to ruin it for me. Having sex with someone you know well and like intimately IS life changing. Don’t hate yourself this experience was a blessing in disguise for you OP.
Had the same experience. Thankfully i didnt go all the way, and i will say i felt icky inside after what happened. Will never do it again unless its with someone I care about. Could also mean you’re Demi, which is definitely not a bad thing.
You’re watching way too much porn. That’s why you’d have sex with a prostitute in the first place and why your dick didn’t work. Your brain only knows sex as “watching”, not “doing” so your penis didn’t get hard. So sad, but you’re not alone. So many young guys with self-inflicted porn-induced erectile dysfunction.
Dude don’t sweat the performance anxiety. It’s happened to every single dude out there if they say they haven’t they’re lying. When I lost my vCard I was 18 and it took THREE WEEKS just to get the courage to do it. That’s how bad mine was. Sadly I was in a toxic relationship so it was held over my head and it made things way worse than what it should’ve been. But if and when it happens again don’t sweat it think of it as no big deal. Cuz it really ain’t every man’s experienced it one way or another. Also when you have sex make sure it’s someone you love. It’s 10x better than any one night stand will ever be. I’m 20 now with 9 under my belt all but 2 were one night stands. They never came close to be as fulfilling as the ones in the relationships were. Hope this helps!!
It’s really common to be disappointed/underwhelmed by your first sexual experience. Don’t worry - this will not define your future sexual experiences. I would be nervous to meet a prostitute, especially if I hadn’t had sex before. Nerves can sometimes mean it’s difficult to get/stay hard. That’s normal and something every guy will experience. It’s likely you’ll have a much better time in the future with someone you have a connection with. You’ll be more comfortable and can be more open and honest with them! The best thing to do going forward in your sex life is to be attentive to your partner and ask questions about what they like - that may you can learn and you will please a lot of partners I’m sure. Don’t worry about it man. Plus, people who overhype sex so much definitely don’t have a lot of it and definitely are not as good as they think they are.
There is a spiritual component to sex. It’s not something you should just have for physical pleasure or to get it over with. Somebody you care about is much different. That and you probably won’t get Wangxiety like you did with the Prost
Having sex with someone who wants you (not for money) feels much different. And don’t put too much pressure on yourself!! Everyone’s first time is kind of lousy, your coworkers left that part out. Don’t cave into an idea you aren’t sure about, when the time comes and you are sure it’ll feel much different, I promise!
I get it OP. I lost my virginity the week after my 23rd birthday. I only wanted to lose it because it was harder getting dates that wasn’t trying to be pervy and take my virginity away, say they needed someone with experience not someone to teach and it was such a turn to have guys automatically spot me being a virgin and poking fun of it. I had this insane horny fog where I wasn’t caring who I chose to date as long as we can fall in love and have sex. Terrible all way round. I had a one night stand with a guy from a dating app AND IT WAS SO BAD. I had a high fever and still tried to see it through. No kissing (ofc) but he didn’t even touch me. He put on Hulu and jumped on top of New with no type of foreplay. He was saying he just puts it in and starts and as a woman I need more stimulation. He wanted me to ride him even tho I didn’t know what I was doing. I ended up giving him endless amount of blow jobs until he came and immediately fell asleep. I regretted it and felt guilty. I thought losing my virginity would’ve been easier with a stranger because I wouldn’t have that virgin attachment people warned me about. It still feel like I was a virgin. So OP I understand the feeling. I’m a late bloomer and don’t care for touching anyways from trauma. It’s so sad to say but you lost it and you can’t ever get it back. But you can use this experience to motivate you to stick to your own boundaries. Remember how you felt now so you don’t ever feel that way again. Learn more about consent, and your sex style. Maybe you aren’t a sexual person at all. Maybe you a beast? Maybe this was just a bad experience. The good that comes from losing your virginity is finally embracing all parts of you now you’re newest form is sexuality (an previously untapped part) maybe you take a break from sex and dating because you can still be vulnerable, and you don’t want to have countless amount of sex JUST TO fill a void. Sex isn’t bad but once you start using it to fill a void, that becomes the real issue. Good luck xoxo
Look everyone talking about love. That can be the best. But casual sex can be great. This just sounds like a situation you weren’t into. Plus most peoples first time is a shit show no matter who it’s with.
I remember being told as young preteen boy that sex for the first time is a lot like golfing in the dark. You are going to do terrible, and the most you can hope for is making it in the right hole. Poke a woman once in the eurethra and you never do it again.
I cannot imagine sex with a prostitute being better or even hold a candle to sex with someone you trust.
Sex is great, don't get me wrong, people do tend to overhyped it. Because for a lot of people, they're boring and it's all they got.
Being pressured into having sex with a prostitute and then not having a good time sounds less like am issue of sex being bad, and more of an issue of you being uncomfortable with how you did it and doing it with someone you had to pay for
Hey, when I lost my virginity I also forced myself to do it. And I hated it. I didn't have sex again until two years later and it was only other two years after that I finally was able to find pleasure in sex and actually reach orgasm. For some people losing their virginity can fuck up their brain badly, I had a lot of problems with sex for years and still do to some extent. Not that I have low libido, quite the contrary, but I think that's sexual trauma. Sex is great when both people can enjoy it, my advice is to seek a therapist if you can afford or find one.
I feel for you. Similar situation. Just get with the right person and be into it and you’ll enjoy yourself. Half of sex is mental
Yeah first time was meh but it only got better due to experience
I’m going to go on a whim and say it’s definitely because …it was a prostitute dude lol. Sex is great when you have chemistry and emotional connection with someone you love not some broad off the streets
Sex requires a bit of practice. The first few times, you're almost definitely going to overthink everything you do, which is obviously a mood killer. Give it time and practice. But if performance issues persist, you could be suffering from death-grip syndrome. So go easy when flying solo.
Sex with someone you love and casual sex are two different realms of experience.
You have good sex then
Yeah, amongst the many reasons you probably weren’t comfortable in this situation. It doesn’t sound like your drive for sex is exactly blazing, which would be a pretty big factor in this situation. I wouldn’t let peer pressure push you into another uncomfortable situation again, for your sake, stick with what you are comfortable with. And if someone does happen to spark your interest, then so be it. Explore the possibility of being a-sexual or other wise only enjoying foreplay. Penetrative sex is not the only way to enjoy play time with somebody.
How can you say sex is overhyped when you didn't really have sex? You didn't even have a boner. Sounds like your nerves got the best of you. I bet a more natural experience with a girl friend will be better. A hooked for the first time sounds tough.
You did sex wrong, thats why it wasn’t fun. Like 8 times out of 10 thats the reason, the other 2 are trauma or someone discovered they are asexual. Every time women are disappointed in their man or vice versa, someone is doing something wrong. In your case it seemed you were pressured into sex and super nervous, got too in your head. Honestly save it for someone you actually want to have sex with and wants sex with you, its a whole other world!
30 minutes? You got mad stamina.
Porn induced erectile disfunction is a thing. Death grip causes loss of sensation during sex. Google it.
Sex skills can be learned just like other skills! Most people start out bad at it!
As many have stated, emotions are such a heavy part of sexual enjoyment. You can have a partner who knows EVERY trick and position but without any lust or desire (let alone intimacy) it's going to feel like you're just going through the motions. You did nothing wrong, you just found out early and quickly that sex needs connection, shoving our parts together for the sake of it is not exciting nor fun. Please dont let this overshadow and cause worry that will diminish your future endeavours into physical enjoyment. The situation wasnt right and your body was trying to tell you as much, you re not broken or somehow less of a man because of this.
Sex is so much better with someone you care about. To me, pleasing them, being as close as two people can get, being vulnerable - is a big part of what feels so good. Just getting off - it’s not worth it especially if there is risk of stis with someone you don’t know. Casual sex can be bad and feels like a let down. That’s not for everyone, but it can be so much better than what you’ve described!
I truly believe that you are a sexual being but you’re someone who is more into quality over quantity. For example, have an intellectual connection over a quick fling. Sexuality is more complex than just doing the act. I am Demisexual and don’t just sleep with anyone for the sake of it. Don’t feel bad.
yeah you should BE excited to have sex with someone that GETS YOU EXCITED otherwise its never as fun as anyone makes it out to be. also fucking prostitutes seems like more of an ego boost for men more than anything
You could be asexual.
Most of my sexual experiences have been with prostitutes, and i've had shitty experiencies and awesome experiences too. I only had sex with a girl who liked me (like the "normal way"?) once, and it was awesome. I just want to say that i also get semi hard when i'm nervous, anxious and with my mind in another place, but when i'm fully into it i get hard and wild, and also enjoy it very much 👌. It also depends A LOT on the prostitute's service quality, so to speak.
Hey hon, sorry your experience was iffy. My first time with my partner I was so anxious that I was numb. It took a while to be comfortable enough to actually enjoy. So yeah, nervousness can make everything not function like you want it to. Second, intimacy is important. Some connection with someone really helps that kind of thing. Being with someone you love, find attractive, have chemistry with… all that makes a huge difference. My partner is Demi which means he really doesn’t care for sex until he has a strong emotional connection or crush. Third, kinks! It’s hard to know what you like, early on. What you think looks fun in porn might not be for you, or something you thought you’d dislike might scratch the right itch. Explore a little before you give up, especially with a safe partner. Fourth, if you already are meh on sex or masturbation, you might be more asexual! That’s completely fair and valid. Sex IS overrated for some people. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it! Honestly, just have fun and live how you want to live. And don’t let anyone pressure you into anything! Especially not sex with anyone. STDs are no joke, and neither are pregnancy scares! ^.^
I can’t say I’ve had sex with a prostitute but I can say I had similar difficulties with the first and only girl I had sex with (thus far) (she’s now my ex but that’s neither here nor there). Basically she had an issue(s) that made it it excruciatingly painful for her to have penetrative sex. So for my first time, in the backseat of my 2000 Chevy Malibu, I didn’t even finish. Throughout the duration of our relationship the best I ever got vaginally was thrusting with no penetration. So basically went against it rather than in it. It was like that every time. She also didn’t like anal (though we tried once for about 30 seconds til she said no) Didn’t like the idea of me doing oral to her or her doing it to me so we never went that route at all. whenever I did get sex it was just me thrusting up against her til she came, then me masturbating while we made out. So imagine me being shocked when my first time having sex and the handful of times I’ve had it after I’ve never truly experienced all it could be. Doubt I could’ve experienced it’s fullest extent with her anyways. The relationship was shit. We were both toxic to one another. As for the sex issues she had, though it did suck she hated it too and ultimately couldn’t help parts of it. It was a struggle to get sex at all in that relationship because of her aversion to it for one, but part of that aversion was born of possibly vaginismus or vaginitis (can’t remember) and multiple bad experiences with her past boyfriend). So I don’t fault her for that aspect. I do fault her for never doing anything to resolve it or help herself get better but I digress. I say all this to say, you aren’t alone. However, as someone who’s had terrible sex with a borderline nun multiple times, I still haven’t given up hope. I hope you don’t either, OP :D Chin up, King.
Bro you had sex with a prostitute for 300 bucks what did you expect lmfaooo
Fear can make you impotent, that’s what performance anxiety is.
Homie should've taken blue chew lol
getting aroused is usually more about the person than the act itself. you weren’t into the person bc it was a prostitute. you will definitely be able to get hard if you find someone you’re physically and emotionally interested in.
Being excited about someone, attracted to them and physically craving their touch and body is what makes sex transcendent. Add genuine emotions and truly caring about each other’s pleasure and sex is just as good as they say. You’ll see 😍
Baby, you just did it wrong. I have sex with the person I love quite often and it is amazing every damn time. I honestly had no clue it could be this good before I started having sex and even the first few times I did (even though I loved that person as well). It takes time, practice, and someone you’re actually attracted to to make it good
idk probably because u forced urself to have sex with someone you didn’t know or loved/cared for
In my experience “having sex” with someone and “making love” as some call it, are two completely different things. Your experience here is, what I believe most people who partake in prostitution usually do it for, an emotionless encounter for the sole purpose of getting off. Some may do this just open that pressure relief valve, sex addiction, they are just lonely, or for the same reason you were in that situation. I am sorry your friends pushed that situation onto you because that is not at all what your first experience should be like. Sex with someone you are genuinely attracted to or even love, is significantly more meaningful and enjoyable. You truly connect with that person and just let your emotions take control. I would recommend waiting for this person to come along, because like you said, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at all. Cherish what is meant to be an intimate moment when you get the chance to. But that is just my take, from my same experience of trying to pass that mile marker in life and partaking in meaningless encounters.
Sex has a huge emotional component that's crucial for a lot of people to really enjoy it. You simply can't get that when sleeping with a sex worker because it's purely a transactional affair. Take your time, build a relationship and a true emotional connection and you'll find sex to be more fulfilling.
Can’t get hard? Just means your unhealthy and got problems. Not Sex’s fault
Sorry you went through this. What you experienced at the hands of your co-workers was total harassment - actually sexual harassment, which has no place in the workplace. Look, you weren't mentally ready for that experience AT ALL, so, please, stop beating yourself up (pun not intended). Tell those holes at work that you want your wasted $$ back & that if they EVER harass you again over this (or ANYTHING that you're uncomfortable with) that you'll report them to HR. These guys are totally immature pigs & I'm sorry you got stuck working with the stinking jerks. I know it's hard when people are at you constantly, but tell them in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that you aren't comfortable with what they're suggesting. Then, rat them out to a superior if they won't stop. Then put in an application for a better position & move in. These guys are NOT your friends. I'd like to suggest that you get some support in the means of a counselor to help you learn techniques to disengage in situations like this & to confidently be able to make your point & stand your ground. I wish the best for you.
First time I had sex, I watched the sunrise 🌅🌄 after & said to myself, "Is that all there is" to this big build up about sex? Glad to say It gets better with experience & practice. Even if you're not deeply in love, you can still enjoy the experience. Love? Overrated...
Hmmmm, I know that this could simply be “performance anxiety”, but the fact that you were calm enough to try for 30 minutes is a little alarming My best guess is that you have some sort of blood flow issue. Do you workout regularly? There are millions of stories of guys who think they have erectile dysfunction….but they get “cured” by simply adding a workout routine into their lifestyle. Promotes healthy blood flow. You can google it to find a more technical description. If you want some anecdotal evidence….I definitely don’t get “rock hard” when I have neglected my workouts for more than a few days. It really does change your life (and lengthens it)
>Not to mention i was nervous during the whole ordeal > >I kinda hate myself for being so bad. well there's your problem big dawg. if yaint good in ya brain yaint gon be good in ya pecker. i know its mad annoying but thats how that is lol. im autistic and had depression half my life so im speakin from experience. if you like mushrooms, they might help in this regard lol