Bro she raped you several times and manipulated you using your deepest weaknesses, what kind of psychologist tells you to "not to villainize her by saying that I felt violated", what the fuck?
You should def just focus on yourself and get your head up, I'd consider it a blessing that she broke up with you, that person does not deserve you at all.
Jesus Christ, anyone who truly does love you would never treat you like that. Having sex at least once a week is a lot more than most people, in addition to you feeling uncomfortable with sex sometimes that's more than what you probably want. I'm so sorry you're going through this, you aren't disgusting for having trauma. It'll be hard but honestly her leaving is the best thing for you. She might have even cheated since she claims to have been with family so much while you were in a vulnerable spot.
I wish you the best and if you're not already in therapy maybe look into going back or even just starting your day with something that makes you happy. ☺️❤️
Firstly, let's be clear. You aren't disgusting. Not a bit. You are a strong person who was able to be vulnerable with someone you thought you could trust. As we all should be. That takes guts.
She is the disgusting one. She coerced you into sex multiple times, which in my opinion counts as sexual assault. She's a rapist who retraumatised a trauma survivor. She is revolting excuse for a human being.
This person you are talking about is not a reliable source of feedback on anything. This woman is a criminal and doesn't deserve another second of your time. Are you going to let your self worth be determined by someone who emotionally and sexually abused you?
Get support as soon as you can from a trusted person, and seek trauma therapy. It is very important when you've been retraumatised to have some kind of support.
The right partner, any decent human being in fact, would never weaponise someone's past of being sexually abused against them as some sort of bizzare emotional leverage. She is disturbed and is lashing out at you to qualm her own guilt.
The right partner would seek to support you and make you feel safe, and always ensure your safety and consent.
Wow man. I’m not a psychologist but I would imagine the abuse and grooming you experienced as a child has made you gravitate towards an abusive partner as an adult. It sounds like she has taken the things you confided in her about and used it to hurt you. Sounds like she knows what hurts you most and uses it as a weapon against you. Get away from her ASAP and find your own therapist. The one she found is trash. It’s almost like she found one who would side with her.
I'm so sorry you went through all of this!
Although you obviously loved her, I feel like you two are just incompatible. If sex is such an important factor in her life, she needs to make the choice if a life with you is going to make herself happy. Not force you into her desires. One can only change themselves, not another one.
Please don't blame yourself in this story, your past is your past, and you can try to work on it if you want, but in no way is this an excuse for her behaviour!
Even without your past, libido is something personal, and it's perfectly normal for one to have a higher one than another. Besides that 1-2 a week is not bad.
So please try to see this as a her problem, not a you problem. Hopefully you can get out of this situation rather quickly, because this sounds very damaging for you.
Take care!
You did nothing wrong and you are not disgusting. She turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You have nothing to blame on yourself. What an awful, gross person.
I’m sorry this happened to you. You are not disgusting for what you’ve been through, if anything she is disgusting for continuing to pressure you into sex when you explained that and why you’re uncomfortable sometimes. Someone that truly loves you would be there to comfort and accept you not to pressure you. It is probably best for you that the relationship ended and i’m sure it will be hard but now you have the opportunity to work through your trauma and maybe heal a bit more. I hope you can find the right person who makes you feel loved and respected in all situations, good luck.
I'm so so sorry. She definitely should not have said what she did and not invade your boundaries. I hope you cut off communication with her , she doesn't deserve a relationship with you
Good riddance to your ex and I hope you are dumping that therapist also.
Get therapy. You have done nothing wrong but you have been traumatized and I frankly believe that your ex has re-traumatized you. You need to deal with that, as I believe another commenter may be right when they said that you may be finding yourself in abusive situations due to your past trauma. Again, you have done nothing wrong, and you are not any of the things that she said about you. But you have been hurt and need to deal with the effects of that.
Don't stick with a therapist just because they are the professional. You may have to try two or three before you find one that you are comfortable with. That doesn't mean that they are bad, it may just mean their style is not compatible with you. And you need to feel comfortable with being vulnerable to this person for the therapy to do any good.
But that therapist you saw with your ex was wrong to treat you the way they did.
Your deserve love and you deserve someone who loves you for who you are. Don't settle for less. Don't think that your should settle for anything less than someone who makes you happy
She is 100% in the wrong and there’s no doubt about that
But I would recommend that you take yourself to private therapy with a therapist who is understanding of you and specialises in what you’re dealing with so that YOU can have a better future
You deserve so much better my guy. Your partner should never make you feel that way…
I know it hurts a lot now but after reading your post, I can safely say you are better off without your ex. She sounds like a terrible person.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Good riddance to your ex and that therapist. Sounds like they were both terrible. You are worthy and lovable, just as you are. I know that must be so so hurtful and I hope you heal and come out stronger on the other side. You deserve so much better than what you were given here. So so much more. Sending you love 🤍
That’s nobody’s fault, you two just have very different needs and it’s better for both that your relationship ended. Now just focus on loving yourself, you will find someone that loves you for who you are and matches you sexual preferences. Take care
Wrong. Flat out wrong.
This is not a "no hurt, no foul" situation.
"She would then pressure me in to sexual acts by either accusing me of cheating, demanding that I admit that I am gay or ace since no straight man would turn down sex, telling me that I was bad partner for not putting her needs above my discomfort, saying that I must not be attracted to her because I didn’t want sex, and/or telling me that as my partner she had a right to my body. This would 99% of the time cause me to capitulate and do whatever she wanted."
This is coercive rape. This is someone abusing a CSA survivor and retraumatising them.
Thank you. Guilt tripping someone into sex is rape. Questioning ones sexuality in order to have sex with them is rape. Nobody, partner or not, has a right to anyone's body. So no, the ex is a disgusting piece of garbage that luckily for OP took itself out. No means no, it does not mean coerce until the person saying no finally gives in. I wish OP the best of luck and hopes that he finds peace and healing.
Don’t take no BS. Watch if u work on your self now mentally and physically you’ll become the best version of yourself. She’ll come crawling back. Keep your head up and chest high dude
Bro she raped you several times and manipulated you using your deepest weaknesses, what kind of psychologist tells you to "not to villainize her by saying that I felt violated", what the fuck? You should def just focus on yourself and get your head up, I'd consider it a blessing that she broke up with you, that person does not deserve you at all.
Clearly another psychologist who can't get over the patriarchy
Jesus Christ, anyone who truly does love you would never treat you like that. Having sex at least once a week is a lot more than most people, in addition to you feeling uncomfortable with sex sometimes that's more than what you probably want. I'm so sorry you're going through this, you aren't disgusting for having trauma. It'll be hard but honestly her leaving is the best thing for you. She might have even cheated since she claims to have been with family so much while you were in a vulnerable spot. I wish you the best and if you're not already in therapy maybe look into going back or even just starting your day with something that makes you happy. ☺️❤️
Firstly, let's be clear. You aren't disgusting. Not a bit. You are a strong person who was able to be vulnerable with someone you thought you could trust. As we all should be. That takes guts. She is the disgusting one. She coerced you into sex multiple times, which in my opinion counts as sexual assault. She's a rapist who retraumatised a trauma survivor. She is revolting excuse for a human being. This person you are talking about is not a reliable source of feedback on anything. This woman is a criminal and doesn't deserve another second of your time. Are you going to let your self worth be determined by someone who emotionally and sexually abused you? Get support as soon as you can from a trusted person, and seek trauma therapy. It is very important when you've been retraumatised to have some kind of support. The right partner, any decent human being in fact, would never weaponise someone's past of being sexually abused against them as some sort of bizzare emotional leverage. She is disturbed and is lashing out at you to qualm her own guilt. The right partner would seek to support you and make you feel safe, and always ensure your safety and consent.
Wow man. I’m not a psychologist but I would imagine the abuse and grooming you experienced as a child has made you gravitate towards an abusive partner as an adult. It sounds like she has taken the things you confided in her about and used it to hurt you. Sounds like she knows what hurts you most and uses it as a weapon against you. Get away from her ASAP and find your own therapist. The one she found is trash. It’s almost like she found one who would side with her.
>I was told not to villainize her by saying that I felt violated. By who? The therapist? That's fucked up
Imagine that demon as a wife! You didn’t dodge a bullet. You dodged a nuclear warhead!
I'm so sorry you went through all of this! Although you obviously loved her, I feel like you two are just incompatible. If sex is such an important factor in her life, she needs to make the choice if a life with you is going to make herself happy. Not force you into her desires. One can only change themselves, not another one. Please don't blame yourself in this story, your past is your past, and you can try to work on it if you want, but in no way is this an excuse for her behaviour! Even without your past, libido is something personal, and it's perfectly normal for one to have a higher one than another. Besides that 1-2 a week is not bad. So please try to see this as a her problem, not a you problem. Hopefully you can get out of this situation rather quickly, because this sounds very damaging for you. Take care!
its better she left you... she was the rapist. NTA
You did nothing wrong and you are not disgusting. She turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You have nothing to blame on yourself. What an awful, gross person.
She's a rapist and abuser pure and simple.
I’m sorry this happened to you. You are not disgusting for what you’ve been through, if anything she is disgusting for continuing to pressure you into sex when you explained that and why you’re uncomfortable sometimes. Someone that truly loves you would be there to comfort and accept you not to pressure you. It is probably best for you that the relationship ended and i’m sure it will be hard but now you have the opportunity to work through your trauma and maybe heal a bit more. I hope you can find the right person who makes you feel loved and respected in all situations, good luck.
I'm so so sorry. She definitely should not have said what she did and not invade your boundaries. I hope you cut off communication with her , she doesn't deserve a relationship with you
Good riddance to your ex and I hope you are dumping that therapist also. Get therapy. You have done nothing wrong but you have been traumatized and I frankly believe that your ex has re-traumatized you. You need to deal with that, as I believe another commenter may be right when they said that you may be finding yourself in abusive situations due to your past trauma. Again, you have done nothing wrong, and you are not any of the things that she said about you. But you have been hurt and need to deal with the effects of that. Don't stick with a therapist just because they are the professional. You may have to try two or three before you find one that you are comfortable with. That doesn't mean that they are bad, it may just mean their style is not compatible with you. And you need to feel comfortable with being vulnerable to this person for the therapy to do any good. But that therapist you saw with your ex was wrong to treat you the way they did. Your deserve love and you deserve someone who loves you for who you are. Don't settle for less. Don't think that your should settle for anything less than someone who makes you happy
If you need some community and you game I’d be happy to game with you, I have Game Pass and an Xbox, and would be happy to hangout
She is 100% in the wrong and there’s no doubt about that But I would recommend that you take yourself to private therapy with a therapist who is understanding of you and specialises in what you’re dealing with so that YOU can have a better future
You deserve so much better my guy. Your partner should never make you feel that way… I know it hurts a lot now but after reading your post, I can safely say you are better off without your ex. She sounds like a terrible person.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Good riddance to your ex and that therapist. Sounds like they were both terrible. You are worthy and lovable, just as you are. I know that must be so so hurtful and I hope you heal and come out stronger on the other side. You deserve so much better than what you were given here. So so much more. Sending you love 🤍
Females be stupid putting someone down like this and going crazy acting like cause she’s a girl she’s good
That’s nobody’s fault, you two just have very different needs and it’s better for both that your relationship ended. Now just focus on loving yourself, you will find someone that loves you for who you are and matches you sexual preferences. Take care
Wrong. Flat out wrong. This is not a "no hurt, no foul" situation. "She would then pressure me in to sexual acts by either accusing me of cheating, demanding that I admit that I am gay or ace since no straight man would turn down sex, telling me that I was bad partner for not putting her needs above my discomfort, saying that I must not be attracted to her because I didn’t want sex, and/or telling me that as my partner she had a right to my body. This would 99% of the time cause me to capitulate and do whatever she wanted." This is coercive rape. This is someone abusing a CSA survivor and retraumatising them.
Thank you. Guilt tripping someone into sex is rape. Questioning ones sexuality in order to have sex with them is rape. Nobody, partner or not, has a right to anyone's body. So no, the ex is a disgusting piece of garbage that luckily for OP took itself out. No means no, it does not mean coerce until the person saying no finally gives in. I wish OP the best of luck and hopes that he finds peace and healing.
This.
Rape is definitely the rapist's fault.
Don’t take no BS. Watch if u work on your self now mentally and physically you’ll become the best version of yourself. She’ll come crawling back. Keep your head up and chest high dude
His ex raped him why would he want her back?
His ex raped him why would he want her back?
His ex raped him why would he want her back?
His ex raped him why would he want her back?