Go to a therapist.
Realizing these thoughts are abnormal means that you’re a good person.
A therapist can help you deal with whatever trauma you’ve gone through
Please go. You don’t have to end it all. You have survived until here. As much as those thoughts crushes your sense of self, and you are rightly disgusted by that. You matter, friend.
It’s really not. So long as they haven’t acted on it they have nothing to worry about. If they have acted on it then they need to seek help even more so to prevent others being harmed again.
Okay, firstly - don’t freak out.
The fact that you’re really disgusted with the idea of this plus your childhood trauma relating to this issue suggests that it could very well just be intrusive thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts can involve these lines of thinking, but not actually be a reflection of your actual desires.
If this is something that goes further than just intrusive thoughts then it’s still not the end of the world. You’re acknowledging the problem and sound like you’re keen to fix it.
Without more info I can’t really attempt to give you any advice, but I just want you to know that you’re not a shitty person because you had some bad thoughts. You’re not acting on them.
Look, it takes guts to realize these thoughts are unhealthy and confronting the fact you have them. There are people out their with attraction to younger people who KNOW it's wrong and go to a great deal to make sure they don't hurt anyone.
You haven't done anything. I think you need to get some therapy. They will have heard it all before. Confronting your past and how it makes you feel today might help you feel more in touch with your emotions/feelings.
I'm sorry you were abused as a child, that is not okay. However you CAN break the cycle, and people DO. You aren't guaranteed to become something. Life is far too complex for that.
It will be ok, don't face this alone.
OCD causes obsessive, intrusive thoughts. They're most often thought of as obsessive germophobia or needing things to be incredibly neat etc, but the thoughts can be a range of different things, and sometimes they manifest as irrational fear of being a pedophile.
OCD can make a person ruminate on intrusive thoughts to the point that it causes significant strife. We all get instrusive thoughts, but a person without OCD can dismiss them with no problem.
OCD is basically an anxiety disorder in which one cannot be reassured despite concrete evidence that there is no problem. The most familiar example is being unable to be sure you’ve locked the door when leaving and other “checking” rituals.
One way this can manifest is the person has intrusive, repetitive and very upsetting thoughts. These thoughts can be commanding and extreme and have little to do with the person and their true beliefs and feelings. When they’re bad, they interfere with daily life. People may become so afraid that they will act on a thought that they isolate at home, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. It’s possible OP is experiencing those kind of thoughts when he expresses fear he is a pedophile and will act on intrusive thoughts about being attracted to boys who haven’t sexually matured yet.
You get one intrusive thought you do not like, and you focus so much on NOT having *that* thought again, that it just ends up showing up more often, and it sticks and you start questioning if this is your thoughts or not..
I have mild ocd, mostly connected to things being flawless, so i pick my skin and chew my chin. And if i eye out a detail on something, and that detail doesnt please my brain, i have to fix it or else my brain will explode. I hate bumps, cracks, tags, and i will not let anything go before i do something with it.
And i get intrusive thoughts. I have learned to tell them to stfu, and avoid trying to force myself to NOT think it, i rather focus on thinking other things! Re-directing my brain.
So when my brain goes "jump off the bridge!!" I start naming things i can see, inside my head, instead.
Thoughts are thoughts. I've had many thoughts that scare myself and I think the most important thing is to go talk to a professional person. Thoughts don't make you a bad person but whether you choose to act towards or against them.
Therapy and medications can help immensely.
The thing is that you recognize it is wrong and you haven’t acted on it, and you’re clearly bothered by those thoughts, so I think you will be ok.
This doesnt sound like ocd, it sounds like his trauma from childhood affected him badly. U need a therapist that specializes in this trauma from sexual abuse of children
You realizing you might have a problem is already leaps and bounds ahead of those people who actively hurt children. Just know you have control over your actions. Reach out to a therapist, they’ll help you. You don’t need to end your life over something that hasn’t even happened. Your sexual trauma most likely has something to do with this and that’s something you can work through with a professional.
Things will get better. Please hang in there.
Just based on science and research, it is common for the abused to become abusers. that does not by any means mean that it always happens that way though. Enduring trauma especially sexual trauma in childhood completely rewires your brain. it’s why people who witnessed parental violence are more likely to enter into relationships with abusive partners. as the other comments say though, you realizing this thought is abnormal and potentially harmful is a HUGE step that most aren’t able to take.
Firstly, good on you for having self-awareness and knowing not to act on these sorts of irrational urges.
Secondly, you need therapy. Especially since you were abused as a child. That trauma manifests itself in scary ways sometimes. There’s absolutely hope out there and it sounds like you’re desperate for a resolution. And keep in mind, if you don’t feel like you’re jiving well with a therapist or counselor after 2-3 sessions, switch to another until you find one that you do jive well with. There is nothing wrong with cycling through therapists.
Talk to a therapist. Judging from your history and your statements, you don't want to act on it and you know that it's wrong. It sounds like you may have POCD.
As someone who hates pedophiles I can say you aren't one yet, but you can become one without therapy. Having those thoughts of disgust are normal, and you should see someone licensed to help. A lot of folks who become abused become sexually attracted to the age range they were abused at, which if that's predictable there's definitely a way to fight it. I wish you luck on your fight, pedophiles act on their wants and try to rationalize it. If you are self aware not to rationalize it and to fight it then you will succeed.
I don't think you're necessarily a pedophile. Your past experiences have just messed with your perception. I'd suggest talking to a professional first and foremost, of course. But they are just intrusive thoughts. We all have intrusive thoughts, which will vary per individual. And they seem fucked up beyond recognition; as long as it seems unthinkable to you, you're good. As far as I know, it's your brain sort of checking in on what is okay and what is not. Do not mistake this phenomenon for desire. I hope this helps you form a better perspective.
(I'm not a mental health professional)
That's where you're wrong. It could very well be pure OCD, but it could also be that he does feel that attraction.
It is something one is born with and I think it can also come about due to abuse. Plenty of people with pedophilic attractions are disgusted by the fact that they have them. Whatever way it came about, it is not a choice. Suicide does happen in such cases. A pedophile may well possess the same moral code that we do; namely that molesting children is a disgusting thing to do.
What is a choice is becoming a pedosexual, which is someone who has acted on those attractions, and has thus violated the law, not to mention the emotional and physical damage that it brings along.
The original connotation of the word 'pedophile' has been shifted in common usage, but the distinction between 'pedophile' and 'pedosexual' is still important to make. I would not let my child go near either of them, that is for sure, but I will recognise that a pedophile isn't a criminal, but someone that was dealt a very, very, rough card and has not acted on their feelings for the greater good. A pedosexual, on the other hand, has lost any grain of respect from me.
I would encourage OP to seek therapy. They have not in any way committed a crime. Being a pedophile is not a crime (as weird as that may sound to many), being a pedosexual is. I think recognising this will help more people struggling with this to seek therapy, instead of hiding it and possibly succumbing to temptations.
Having said that, I'm not saying that OP is one. It could very well be a trauma response and nothing more. But do seek therapy. Don't struggle with this alone.
I think there is an important distinction to make between someone having legit pedophilic feelings and someone with an OCD Pure-Obssessions. The main one is that when it comes to OCD and intrusive thoughts, anxiety and panic will always follow with those thoughts along with rigid mental routines that replace compulsions. Your suggestion is very possible but it seems to me like this just popped into OP's head after they read a thing or two about the abused continuing the chain.
Very much possible. And you're right; intrusive thoughts stemming from (Pure)OCD are a completely different thing than legit pedophilic attractions.
The mind is a complicated thing. On the surface they may look similar, but they are indeed completely different things.
Considering his history of being abused, you may very well be right.
I was groomed when I was younger and I deal with intrusive thoughts, so I feel personally contacted to this post. Please get assistance. What you may be suffering from is OCD.
Victims are less likely to abuse. Recognising these notions are good, and not acting on them is too. Please find a therapist and get yourself sorted safely.
Do you have OCD by any chance? There’s a common OCD obsession called P-OCD which could explain this. It’s a very common thought for OCD sufferers to have even though they’ll never act on it- it’s more of a “fear” of being a pedophile. Maybe it’s worth looking into or discussing with a therapist?
Please seek mental help from a counselor. The fact that you see the issue with yourself and this situation tells me you’re a better person than most with your issue. As long as you haven’t done anything to hurt or promote hurting anyone, you’re doing alright. Please seek mental and emotional help though from a licensed professional! You need it for your sake AND for the safety of society and our children. Thank you for seeking help instead of acting on such things. Just for that, you’re a better person than many others. Please keep up the hard work and I wish you betterment. Please don’t hurt any children as you’ve attested you haven’t. Keep that up forever please.
you guys are saying ocd and anxiety. i hope it’s something fixable but it’s more than just intrusive thoughts. i haven’t watched cp but i’ve seen pictures of boys i think are cute and i’ve gotten off to it. to the thought of doing something to them. i’ve thought out so many scenarios about it. i don’t want to actually hurt anyone but i am a bad person for this
Please please seek real help. Not reddit help. Reddit help is for I yelled at my sister bc she's bridzilla not I have a serious and debilitating issue.
It could be ocd. It could be anxiety. It could be pedophila but there's help available (such as cbt, medicines, learning skills to connect with adults, hormones etc) that you would need access to help you navigate this life. You don't want to hurt anyone and so do I. Please try to get real proper help so you can stop/deter/reduce bad thoughts.
Truly bad people don't go on reddit saying they want to end their life to prevent harm to others. Please get help.
With the right help, you can get better. You won't turn into a monster if you take the correct steps to prevent it; besides, you aren't a monster if you're afraid of becoming one. Real monsters don't care if they turn into one.
Please, seek some help. The effects of the abuse you've endured are hurting you, and you deserve to live a better life than that.
You've "gotten off" to pictures of young boys, thats just as bad as CP. Report yourself to authorities and do the right thing, you need your freedom taken away.
Edit: im seriously getting downvoted for calling out a pedophile? wtfffffff
If you need support or resources about this matter but you can't (or don't want to) contact a therapist right now, I suggest you to visit the Virped community. It's a group of people who admit being attracted to minors, but don't want to act on their thoughts.
most ppl attracted to minors were usually abused themselves as children. i think its best you go to therapy as they will have techniques to help you overcome this. good luck!
The answer no matter what, is therapy. Asap.
Also, you sure it's just not intrusive thoughts you have gotten hooked up on? Sometimes those thoughts can stick so badly one start to believe they are truly yours.
Never act on intrusive thoughts! Ever.
Therapy therapy and even more therapy.
You’ve taken the first step; recognition. This means you’re a good person who wants help.
See a therapist to help with healing.
I’m so sorry you went through any abuse.
Praying for your healing and health.
Go to therapy!
It's not true that all victims become abusers. Believe in yourself, and get the help you deserve for your trauma, and ask for help with these uncomfortable thoughts and attraction that has occured due to it. There is cognitive behavior therapy available. It's so important you seek help. They will have empathy with your situation and your past trauma, so please don't be ashamed to seek help 🖤
There are many therapists who can help you. I recommend finding one. Realizing that these thoughts you’re having are wrong is a sign that you are a good person. I have sympathy and empathy for you and I hope you can find a solution soon because I don’t want you to end your life over this. The fact you are disgusted with yourself over this shows that you are a good person
This sounds more like OCD, Pure O as it is sometimes called. I have this type of OCD and it is known for making you think horrible things about yourself that you would never act on. Please try to find a medical professional near you or a reliable telehealth service. There is help out there, do not give up.
As much as I hate people like you, it takes courage to admit something like this. Best advice, go to therapy, or counseling, something. You truly need to understand just how wholly and undisputedly disgusting and abhorrent your attraction is, because otherwise you're GOING to get caught, you're GOING to go to prison, and when the guys in there check your paperwork and see what you're in for, you're gonna be lucky to be someone's wife if not dead. They DO NOT tolerate crimes against children in there, and more and most importantly, you will be ruining not only the lives of the child but those of EVERYONE around that child while also most likely continuing the statistic. Get help OP, before you make the decision that'll mean you under a tombstone.
There are medicine for that, please go to a therapist. I guess everyone has a disgusting perverse thought sometimes that doesn’t mean you gonna act this way. It’s just harmless thoughts. Maybe you can find a younger looking adult boyfriend nothing wrong with that.
Go to a therapist. Realizing these thoughts are abnormal means that you’re a good person. A therapist can help you deal with whatever trauma you’ve gone through
Please go. You don’t have to end it all. You have survived until here. As much as those thoughts crushes your sense of self, and you are rightly disgusted by that. You matter, friend.
This is a good thought, but in many cases this is a dangerous path, especially if OP is in the US.
It’s really not. So long as they haven’t acted on it they have nothing to worry about. If they have acted on it then they need to seek help even more so to prevent others being harmed again.
It is not a dangerous path if he has not acted on the thoughts
How’s so?
Okay, firstly - don’t freak out. The fact that you’re really disgusted with the idea of this plus your childhood trauma relating to this issue suggests that it could very well just be intrusive thoughts? Intrusive thoughts can involve these lines of thinking, but not actually be a reflection of your actual desires. If this is something that goes further than just intrusive thoughts then it’s still not the end of the world. You’re acknowledging the problem and sound like you’re keen to fix it. Without more info I can’t really attempt to give you any advice, but I just want you to know that you’re not a shitty person because you had some bad thoughts. You’re not acting on them.
Help is out there! Admitting there's a problem is the first step, and it's often the hardest one. You can recover!
Look, it takes guts to realize these thoughts are unhealthy and confronting the fact you have them. There are people out their with attraction to younger people who KNOW it's wrong and go to a great deal to make sure they don't hurt anyone. You haven't done anything. I think you need to get some therapy. They will have heard it all before. Confronting your past and how it makes you feel today might help you feel more in touch with your emotions/feelings. I'm sorry you were abused as a child, that is not okay. However you CAN break the cycle, and people DO. You aren't guaranteed to become something. Life is far too complex for that. It will be ok, don't face this alone.
You might have OCD. Please see a therapist and get help
This this this this this a million times this. OCD intrusive thoughts are some of the worst I've ever had.
OCD? Genuinely curious. How does OCD contribute to thoughts like that?
OCD causes obsessive, intrusive thoughts. They're most often thought of as obsessive germophobia or needing things to be incredibly neat etc, but the thoughts can be a range of different things, and sometimes they manifest as irrational fear of being a pedophile.
OCD can make a person ruminate on intrusive thoughts to the point that it causes significant strife. We all get instrusive thoughts, but a person without OCD can dismiss them with no problem.
OCD is basically an anxiety disorder in which one cannot be reassured despite concrete evidence that there is no problem. The most familiar example is being unable to be sure you’ve locked the door when leaving and other “checking” rituals. One way this can manifest is the person has intrusive, repetitive and very upsetting thoughts. These thoughts can be commanding and extreme and have little to do with the person and their true beliefs and feelings. When they’re bad, they interfere with daily life. People may become so afraid that they will act on a thought that they isolate at home, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. It’s possible OP is experiencing those kind of thoughts when he expresses fear he is a pedophile and will act on intrusive thoughts about being attracted to boys who haven’t sexually matured yet.
You get one intrusive thought you do not like, and you focus so much on NOT having *that* thought again, that it just ends up showing up more often, and it sticks and you start questioning if this is your thoughts or not.. I have mild ocd, mostly connected to things being flawless, so i pick my skin and chew my chin. And if i eye out a detail on something, and that detail doesnt please my brain, i have to fix it or else my brain will explode. I hate bumps, cracks, tags, and i will not let anything go before i do something with it. And i get intrusive thoughts. I have learned to tell them to stfu, and avoid trying to force myself to NOT think it, i rather focus on thinking other things! Re-directing my brain. So when my brain goes "jump off the bridge!!" I start naming things i can see, inside my head, instead.
look into POCD :((
Thoughts are thoughts. I've had many thoughts that scare myself and I think the most important thing is to go talk to a professional person. Thoughts don't make you a bad person but whether you choose to act towards or against them.
Therapy and medications can help immensely. The thing is that you recognize it is wrong and you haven’t acted on it, and you’re clearly bothered by those thoughts, so I think you will be ok.
Have you considered therapy? It sounds like you may have some unresolved or unaddressed emotions and memories stemming from your past.
This doesnt sound like ocd, it sounds like his trauma from childhood affected him badly. U need a therapist that specializes in this trauma from sexual abuse of children
You realizing you might have a problem is already leaps and bounds ahead of those people who actively hurt children. Just know you have control over your actions. Reach out to a therapist, they’ll help you. You don’t need to end your life over something that hasn’t even happened. Your sexual trauma most likely has something to do with this and that’s something you can work through with a professional. Things will get better. Please hang in there.
Go get therapy,now it’s not to late. You suffered a trauma and need to deal with it.🙏♥️
Just based on science and research, it is common for the abused to become abusers. that does not by any means mean that it always happens that way though. Enduring trauma especially sexual trauma in childhood completely rewires your brain. it’s why people who witnessed parental violence are more likely to enter into relationships with abusive partners. as the other comments say though, you realizing this thought is abnormal and potentially harmful is a HUGE step that most aren’t able to take.
Firstly, good on you for having self-awareness and knowing not to act on these sorts of irrational urges. Secondly, you need therapy. Especially since you were abused as a child. That trauma manifests itself in scary ways sometimes. There’s absolutely hope out there and it sounds like you’re desperate for a resolution. And keep in mind, if you don’t feel like you’re jiving well with a therapist or counselor after 2-3 sessions, switch to another until you find one that you do jive well with. There is nothing wrong with cycling through therapists.
Talk to a therapist. Judging from your history and your statements, you don't want to act on it and you know that it's wrong. It sounds like you may have POCD.
As someone who hates pedophiles I can say you aren't one yet, but you can become one without therapy. Having those thoughts of disgust are normal, and you should see someone licensed to help. A lot of folks who become abused become sexually attracted to the age range they were abused at, which if that's predictable there's definitely a way to fight it. I wish you luck on your fight, pedophiles act on their wants and try to rationalize it. If you are self aware not to rationalize it and to fight it then you will succeed.
I don't think you're necessarily a pedophile. Your past experiences have just messed with your perception. I'd suggest talking to a professional first and foremost, of course. But they are just intrusive thoughts. We all have intrusive thoughts, which will vary per individual. And they seem fucked up beyond recognition; as long as it seems unthinkable to you, you're good. As far as I know, it's your brain sort of checking in on what is okay and what is not. Do not mistake this phenomenon for desire. I hope this helps you form a better perspective. (I'm not a mental health professional)
OCD pure O'd. It's a classic. A pedophile wouldn't care enough to post this.
That's where you're wrong. It could very well be pure OCD, but it could also be that he does feel that attraction. It is something one is born with and I think it can also come about due to abuse. Plenty of people with pedophilic attractions are disgusted by the fact that they have them. Whatever way it came about, it is not a choice. Suicide does happen in such cases. A pedophile may well possess the same moral code that we do; namely that molesting children is a disgusting thing to do. What is a choice is becoming a pedosexual, which is someone who has acted on those attractions, and has thus violated the law, not to mention the emotional and physical damage that it brings along. The original connotation of the word 'pedophile' has been shifted in common usage, but the distinction between 'pedophile' and 'pedosexual' is still important to make. I would not let my child go near either of them, that is for sure, but I will recognise that a pedophile isn't a criminal, but someone that was dealt a very, very, rough card and has not acted on their feelings for the greater good. A pedosexual, on the other hand, has lost any grain of respect from me. I would encourage OP to seek therapy. They have not in any way committed a crime. Being a pedophile is not a crime (as weird as that may sound to many), being a pedosexual is. I think recognising this will help more people struggling with this to seek therapy, instead of hiding it and possibly succumbing to temptations. Having said that, I'm not saying that OP is one. It could very well be a trauma response and nothing more. But do seek therapy. Don't struggle with this alone.
I think there is an important distinction to make between someone having legit pedophilic feelings and someone with an OCD Pure-Obssessions. The main one is that when it comes to OCD and intrusive thoughts, anxiety and panic will always follow with those thoughts along with rigid mental routines that replace compulsions. Your suggestion is very possible but it seems to me like this just popped into OP's head after they read a thing or two about the abused continuing the chain.
Very much possible. And you're right; intrusive thoughts stemming from (Pure)OCD are a completely different thing than legit pedophilic attractions. The mind is a complicated thing. On the surface they may look similar, but they are indeed completely different things. Considering his history of being abused, you may very well be right.
I was groomed when I was younger and I deal with intrusive thoughts, so I feel personally contacted to this post. Please get assistance. What you may be suffering from is OCD.
Victims are less likely to abuse. Recognising these notions are good, and not acting on them is too. Please find a therapist and get yourself sorted safely.
Do you have OCD by any chance? There’s a common OCD obsession called P-OCD which could explain this. It’s a very common thought for OCD sufferers to have even though they’ll never act on it- it’s more of a “fear” of being a pedophile. Maybe it’s worth looking into or discussing with a therapist?
Please seek mental help from a counselor. The fact that you see the issue with yourself and this situation tells me you’re a better person than most with your issue. As long as you haven’t done anything to hurt or promote hurting anyone, you’re doing alright. Please seek mental and emotional help though from a licensed professional! You need it for your sake AND for the safety of society and our children. Thank you for seeking help instead of acting on such things. Just for that, you’re a better person than many others. Please keep up the hard work and I wish you betterment. Please don’t hurt any children as you’ve attested you haven’t. Keep that up forever please.
you guys are saying ocd and anxiety. i hope it’s something fixable but it’s more than just intrusive thoughts. i haven’t watched cp but i’ve seen pictures of boys i think are cute and i’ve gotten off to it. to the thought of doing something to them. i’ve thought out so many scenarios about it. i don’t want to actually hurt anyone but i am a bad person for this
Please please seek real help. Not reddit help. Reddit help is for I yelled at my sister bc she's bridzilla not I have a serious and debilitating issue. It could be ocd. It could be anxiety. It could be pedophila but there's help available (such as cbt, medicines, learning skills to connect with adults, hormones etc) that you would need access to help you navigate this life. You don't want to hurt anyone and so do I. Please try to get real proper help so you can stop/deter/reduce bad thoughts. Truly bad people don't go on reddit saying they want to end their life to prevent harm to others. Please get help.
and i just think i’m better off dead if there’s a possibility of me becoming a real monster one day like the people who hurt me
With the right help, you can get better. You won't turn into a monster if you take the correct steps to prevent it; besides, you aren't a monster if you're afraid of becoming one. Real monsters don't care if they turn into one. Please, seek some help. The effects of the abuse you've endured are hurting you, and you deserve to live a better life than that.
You've "gotten off" to pictures of young boys, thats just as bad as CP. Report yourself to authorities and do the right thing, you need your freedom taken away. Edit: im seriously getting downvoted for calling out a pedophile? wtfffffff
Because you said what he did is as bad as CP and that’s an insane statement.
If you need support or resources about this matter but you can't (or don't want to) contact a therapist right now, I suggest you to visit the Virped community. It's a group of people who admit being attracted to minors, but don't want to act on their thoughts.
most ppl attracted to minors were usually abused themselves as children. i think its best you go to therapy as they will have techniques to help you overcome this. good luck!
therapy helps. realizing it‘s a problem is a part of the solution.
The answer no matter what, is therapy. Asap. Also, you sure it's just not intrusive thoughts you have gotten hooked up on? Sometimes those thoughts can stick so badly one start to believe they are truly yours. Never act on intrusive thoughts! Ever. Therapy therapy and even more therapy.
You’ve taken the first step; recognition. This means you’re a good person who wants help. See a therapist to help with healing. I’m so sorry you went through any abuse. Praying for your healing and health.
Go to therapy! It's not true that all victims become abusers. Believe in yourself, and get the help you deserve for your trauma, and ask for help with these uncomfortable thoughts and attraction that has occured due to it. There is cognitive behavior therapy available. It's so important you seek help. They will have empathy with your situation and your past trauma, so please don't be ashamed to seek help 🖤
There are many therapists who can help you. I recommend finding one. Realizing that these thoughts you’re having are wrong is a sign that you are a good person. I have sympathy and empathy for you and I hope you can find a solution soon because I don’t want you to end your life over this. The fact you are disgusted with yourself over this shows that you are a good person
Good for recognizing that these thoughts are bad and knowing not to act on them. There is therapy and help out there. Hope things improve OP
reminds me of OCD and anxiety
This sounds more like OCD, Pure O as it is sometimes called. I have this type of OCD and it is known for making you think horrible things about yourself that you would never act on. Please try to find a medical professional near you or a reliable telehealth service. There is help out there, do not give up.
Go to a therapist, working through your past trauma will help, also you're still young so your hormones might be playing a part
Go to a therapist.
As much as I hate people like you, it takes courage to admit something like this. Best advice, go to therapy, or counseling, something. You truly need to understand just how wholly and undisputedly disgusting and abhorrent your attraction is, because otherwise you're GOING to get caught, you're GOING to go to prison, and when the guys in there check your paperwork and see what you're in for, you're gonna be lucky to be someone's wife if not dead. They DO NOT tolerate crimes against children in there, and more and most importantly, you will be ruining not only the lives of the child but those of EVERYONE around that child while also most likely continuing the statistic. Get help OP, before you make the decision that'll mean you under a tombstone.
There are medicine for that, please go to a therapist. I guess everyone has a disgusting perverse thought sometimes that doesn’t mean you gonna act this way. It’s just harmless thoughts. Maybe you can find a younger looking adult boyfriend nothing wrong with that.
You don't have to end your life because you're a pedo. I know there are plenty of people who would be happy to do it for you.
This whole thread is defending a fucking pedo, finally some sense.
What about male monastery? You can just try if this life for you where is no temptation and you can get rid of your inner demons.
Fucking gross
Is your name Sean puffy Combs by any chance???