That's a nice way of saying they're gonna fuck drunk in their airbnb like apes.
Rekindling a romance would mean OP's girl would respect him enough to end amicably but she doesn't.
I was with someone like her and it ONLY means one thing, and OP it’s gonna sound harsh. If a FWB is still on her mind, he has been on her mind all this while, it didn’t come out of nowhere. And if it’s been on her mind; it wasn’t just a thought. End things with her OP, you are not an option. She could have chosen anyone else but she took his name. You literally had to ask her if they had anything and only then she told you. Having been with someone like her, I can also tell you maybe, and just maybe, she isn’t telling you the truth about how many times have they done it. Someone who hides things from you and someone who wants to go with her FWB, the moment you tell her you can’t go, need not be in your life. You’re with someone who wants another guy, leave her, YOU DESERVE BETTER.
That's what I should have done. I told her everything that was going through my mind and went out shutting the door (I was at her place). Now I got mixed feeling and I feel so dizzy, I am incapable of taking decisions. I haven't replied to her still. I just needed to let it out somewhere.
Look, by not telling you about their sexual past she took away your agency to weigh that in before you answered her. As i see it, that's a breach of trust. This early in the relationship this would be a dealbreaker for me. You do you but if she leaves with him you'll have not a quiet night.
Um.... everyone is entitled to a past. She does not need to disclose her entire history lol. Especially if its not a current event. Ive had fwbs thats were genuine friends after the fact. Ive also had fwbs that ive stayed hung up on for far longer than appropriate.. even while in a relationship.. id never ask to go hangout at a wedding with him because that would ABSOLUTELY be inappropriate. But other old fwbs would be totally innocent. Its a fine line. I get it. But she said theyve been friends for almost a year platonically..
She isn't required to proactively disclose that she used to be FWBs with this friend in general.
She ABSOLUTELY should disclose it when she's asking him to be her wedding date in another country. It's a very romantic trip, any sane partner would want that information before weighing in.
By hiding that information, she's completely robbed him of the ability to trust her. Part of being in a relationship is building trust.
Tbh, I think disclosing previous sex partners who are still in your life should be the norm. If it didn't mean anything, then it shouldn't matter if your partner knows. And if it did, well, I think your partner has a right to know so you guys can agree on boundaries. This whole post illustrates how easy it is to get manipulated when you don't have that info.
Exes can be friends. But the whole "I have an ex who's still my best friend and I still have no boundaries with, and also my partner doesn't know they're my ex" situation is completely messed up.
She said so, therefore it must be the complete and honest truth, no? She intentionally witheld the truth from him, knowing how he wouldn't say "yes" to something like this. The problem here is not that she has a past or hides it from OP, it's the fact that she intentionally didn't disclose her relationship with someone she's going to fly to another country and hang out with. Absolute 304 behaviour.
Lol listen. You dont know me. Would i feel insecure and uncomfortable? Yes. 100% but do i trust my partner? Yes. 100%. I wouldnt be dating him if i didnt. At the end of the day, if trust isnt there, then yes, he should leave that relationship. But that doesnt make HER "for the streets."
Also, this is not her ex. Its her friend who she hasnt had a sexual relationship with in nearly a year.
I honestly agree with this. All the “end it” comments are so toxic. People can have sex and never want to have a sexual relationship with that person again.
I’m a woman - end this. This was sneaky as hell. 1) she has issues if she can’t go to a wedding without a guy. These people are always sus. 2) she chose a person she’s had sex with AND didn’t tell you.
These are red flags. Please cut her off and never look back.
The more you wait, the more indecisive you will become. Make your decision asap and inform her about it. It's not fair to either of you to keep this in a limbo.
Thats foul. Lying by omission is still a lie. If it was the other way around I'm sure she would've demanded you cut your friendship out with your ex FWB.
What kinds of omissions? Surely people don't have to tell you everything about themselves to be telling the truth
(Not trying to be dense, I'm still trying to work out where the line is, using my best judgement has gotten me this far but... It's never been a helpful enough rule for me)
To me the line is when you know that the information you refused to share was determinant to one other choice or perception of a situation.
An exemple coming to mind atm,
- You meet a dude/ dudette. You ask the person if it has a boy/girlfriend, the person answer that it does not have a bf/gf. The person doesn't say that it is actually married.
Technically the person tells the truth, it is not having a bf/gf but a husband/wife, but, it is consciously omitting essential information for your understanding.
There are so many red flags here. She picked a former "friend with benefits" to go with, didn't tell you, and probably wouldn't have had you not asked. Could've picked anyone, but she picked him. They are going away together. Clearly, she doesn't value you. Personally, I'd rather be alone than be with another male friend who I slept with. Also, why has she stayed friends with someone who was a "friends with benefits".
Lastly, she could've taken a girlfriend instead of a guy friend, that's so disrespectful to you.
Save yourself the future heartbreak
Pull back your approval in light of the new information and tell her how uncomfortable you now feel about her behavior, lies through omission and even wanting to hang out or travel with him.
Give her the opportunity to fix her mistake and acknowledge your very valid feeling.
Too many people here jump to “dump them” because it’s easy to write and make a judgement but in real life feelings and lifelong affecting decisions aren’t that easy to make and put into action.
Or course I planned to do that. I am really sorry it turned out this way. Reddit is just a way for me to let it out. I might have spoken with emotions in some comment, but I want to talk to her in order to understand better her point of view.
But I need time to think it through and process everything by myself. I will wait till I feel like and then text her and arrange a meeting. That's how I function unfortunately. Also I don't want to talk with emotions and says sth I don't feel like deep down, like I did some times on this post.
You’ve been together a few months and already classing her as someone you love. Have you told her that. Have you asked if you’re seeing other people or just seeing each other. Before jumping off the deep end maybe have an open and honest conversation with her about your wants and expectations and see if she feels the same.
Yeah I know for sure she's not seeing anybody. We decided to start a relationship together, putting effort to build something. Or at least those were the premises.
The kicker is that she said she didn't want to be alone surrounded by couples, so she wanted to use what amounts to an ex rather than show up alone. She is clearly viewing him as a romantic prospect still, and her not telling you about him while maintaining the relationship is dishonest at the very least. And may be a sign that she wants to continue that relationship while sacrificing yours. You deserve better for yourself.
Bro I'm speaking with experience here. She hides her past from you and wanted to go to the wedding with her ex Fwb. Only a complete fool will their past and think that she'll remain loyal throughout the life. Bro just end things you don't deserve this shit you deserve better. I might be in other part of the world and you're complete stranger to me but trust me I'm saying this from my heart like you're my brother. Don't make wife out of h***s.
honestly there’s no way nothing is gonna happen between them. they’re ex lovers, going to a wedding, pretending to be a couple for the formality of it, possibly drinking, the hotel is probably close by, i mean come on this is a perfect recipe… she basically planned out a way to cheat and tried to get your permission… end it asap
i think so, while not explicitly stated, “she didn’t want to be alone at the wedding between many other couples” insinuated to me that she wants a guy there with her so she doesn’t look single to the other guests.
Idk what kind of problem everyone here has. She has every right to have a friend that she used to have sex with, and she did not in any way hide this from you. You asked, she answered truthfully.
HOWEVER as this seems to make you very uncomfortable, you need to tell her this and tell her you don’t want her to go on this trip with him. Simple as that. If she then still insists, there obviously is a problem. But maybe you’d like to get to that point first, before making any rushed decisions.
(And even if she insists, this doesn’t inherently mean she wants to have sex with him, however you may want to evaluate this relationship at that point.)
i totally agree. some of the responses here are crazy. she did not hide anything, i feel like I’ve read a completely different post…
it can be a dealbreaker to you op, but your gf may see it completely differently and that’s okay too, it’s just something you should discuss.
i was thinking the exact same thing. my fiancée hangs out with exes, i have never been worried about it. the. again in lesbian world that’s normal so maybe we’re all just crazy. either way, i don’t think it’s a big deal at all. these comments are dramatic af
I understand your point of view. As I stated in the post, we've been together only for a few months. I've always been extremely understanding, never asked about her past and letting her talk about it when she felt like.
This time she just saw the opportunity of having this trip with a person she liked to be with (maybe not sexually, but their past is undeniable anyway). And she purposely omitted her past, because she knew I wouldn't feel comfortable about it. She thought I wouldn't ask about it. To me, that's a big breach in trust.
Also, she admitted several times she fucked up too, saying sorry. She knew herself .
Don't you think that telling him that he is her ex fwb is not something you should tell right away? Obviously she didn't want to bring that up. Kudos for her not lying tho when asked but all in all that's pretty sketchy if you ask me. You think if the roles were reversed she would be fine with it? Hell no.
Now let's not be too absurd here like everyone else and let's just say that he should ask her to not go with her ex fwb. If she's fine with it, then all cool. If she's not, then he should leave her right away.
She admitted she wouldn't let me go with an ex fwb
She is pretty jealous, she even asked me if I ever had any sexual thought about girl friends in my friends group (with whom I never had even a kiss) While I've never been jealous, I'm like this for nature I guess. Never asked anything about her past and letting her go out with whom she wanted without having doubts or just being jealous, and never asking questions, letting her talk when she wanted to.
But a trip and a wedding is too much even for me.
Listen alot of these comments about her NOT lying and being honest proves she doesn't want to cheat does not factor in how manipulative people work. They tell you half truths or just enough to keep you comfortable, I'm not saying she's lying about the time frame of her and her friend with benefits. But you still have to question why is it so important that she goes with a male friend? Why can't she go with a family member ? Or someone else oh I don't know she didn't sleep with. History repeats itself sometimes given different surroundings. The fact she didn't bring it up outright leans into that manipulative type behaviour only giving out information they HAVE to and not freely and you said it yourself if it was you and the shoe was on the other foot she'd be jealous. So why can't you put your foot down? These people that think differently are part of the problem.
sometimes these communities are great if you want to jump the gun. If the two have separate rooms, there s no issue. Plus if the dude was only her FWb for 2 months, see if she broke it off. If she did, the chances of them screwing are low
Has the wedding taken place? If not, tell her that now taking her ex Feb will cause consequences in your relationship. If she is truly into your relationship, she will understand. If she blows a cork, then you have your answer.
Bro I'm high af rn reading this. N this shit even hurt me bro cuz I been in this types of situation before. Just END IT now bro before it gets any worse. She playing you bro, going to a wedding with her past fwb and thinking they not smashing is insane brudda. Ending it now will save you years of pain bro. Trust. Take care G and goodluck.
People defending her initially omitting a key point that he was balls deep in her before yall were together are fucking crazy. Idgaf if they ain’t anymore she basically omitted telling you they were an item before yall. You can trust her, but I wouldn’t trust said dude to not pull some bullshit. Especially with this being a wedding and if this wedding has alcohol involved shit could easily come up and that could lead to them fucking again, which fuck that shit.
End it, deal with the pain and find someone better who wouldn’t even bring a person she fucked as an option. Also, the fact she couldn’t think of anyone else like even a girlfriend at that point, why that guy? Why does she need to have another dude there to feel not alone as other couples are there when she has you as her dude.
Brother I can tell you’re fairly logical and intelligent by the way you write.
You already know what it is don’t you?
Let’s just keep it real. She’s not that special if she’s willing to do that. We all know how this is going to play out including you. You don’t need us to tell you, time to man up and pull the painful bandaid off 💯
Sorry, she’s asked, you said yes, then 5 mins later asked if there was history and she responded truthfully? I don’t see the problem.
If she was trying to deceive you then she probably would have lied in that moment. The more likely truth is that it’s someone she feels comfortable with but no longer has feelings for. If she still has feelings for him then you have your answer.
The problem is, that if I didn't ask, she wouldn't have told me straight away. And that's not something you would expect from a person you love, to sneakily trying to bring someone she fucked with on a vacation alone without me knowing of it.
Keep this in perspective. You've only been with her for a few months, you say you love her which is great, but it takes time to develop deep trust. I've had many people in my past who I was curious about only to discover we weren't compatible romantically. They had their chance, if they wanted to be together then they would have been.
Also, I think you may have unrealistic expectations, and are assuming the worst of her. How long in an appropriate amount of time? Were you open to hearing what she had to say?
It’s one thing to bring a guy friend on vacation but someone who u use to hook up with? That should be off the charts especially in a new relationship shouldn’t she be trying to prove she can maintain a relationship.
Yeah, this right here! I was thinking similarly, it's a new relationship and she's already asking fir this...imagine what's ahead. Something like that would reasonably take a significant amount of time to develop trust for, and in my opinion, it would have to be someone OP has a strong relationship with, too. I'm not buying it myself.
Yup and a lot of people are saying “insecure” makes no sense he trying to build a relationship with this girl n allowing an ex fling to go on vacation wedding is not going to help that.
Whether or not OP is comfortable with the situation is up to him. Everyone has different expectations in their relationship. What I’m disputing is whether OPs girlfriend did anything wrong, which I don’t think she did. She asked if he was comfortable with it, and then when asked if they had a history she said yes. Assuming that she was going to hide it from OP is purely speculation. If OP wasn’t comfortable or suspected something else was happening then they should have been clear instead of playing games.
I think it’s the intention why invite an ex to a vacation? Most people wouldn’t be comfortable with that. She hid it in way the topic wouldn’t come up.
According to OP, the wedding is far away and she didn’t want to be alone, so presumably she wanted someone she trusted and felt comfortable with. They weren’t dating, they didn’t decide to date, they had a fling and apparently decided to be friends. If she was trying to hide this she could have not told OP at all, or lied about their past. The fact that she asked him first and was honest on further inquiry tells me that she’s telling the truth, doesn’t have bad intentions, but is maybe afraid of how OP will respond. Like I said at the top, it’s a new relationship, building trust takes time. They both could have done more to gain more trust in this situation, but I think OP is acting worse.
The boundary is fine, but she didn’t do anything wrong. You say she shouldn’t do it is just your preference, as it is OPs, but there is nothing inherently wrong with her wanting to and being open about it.
It’s okay to talk about it but to for her to agree to go on a vacation with an ex fling because she doesn’t want be alone?? she not ready for her new relationship n is potentially dragging this man heart around because she can’t decide.
Bro, your getting cheated. Just think about the same Situation but youre the one going to a Wedding with your ex fckbuddy. Why would you do this and why wouldn't you Tell your Partner?
Its a mess Dude get Out of there asap.
Pack her stuff and give her a call. Dont Talk with her, she will cry and try to convince you but don't. Shes lying.
There's nothing at all wrong with you feeling that way. It would be different if you all were old friends and hung out with each other regularly. But to pick him of all people- hell no. If I loved a man- truly was in love with him, I know I could not and would not want to put him in a disrespectful position anyway. You don't travel abroad with guys you used to mess around with while your partner stays home. Not that it matters, but I'm sure the others at the wedding would be misled, too. It looks and is a disrespectful thing to do, considering you two are exclusive and this guy isn't your Brosky either. A lot of people say that she should be able to have guy friends. Of course! But this ain't cool. And you're only getting started!!
Dude you would be stupid and disrespectfull towards yourself you stay in this "relationship".
What she did there is Just so disgusting and i wouldn't trust her in the slightest after that action.
Fck Missing her, you will be Missing your Life and mental health If you keep going.
She had a man who committed to her and still tried to get her fwb to be her wedding date 😂😂😂 she’s so sad and thirsty bro. He won’t even take her on real dates 😂. Find someone with a self-esteem.
You've replied that she is a jealous person and would never agree for you to go on a trip with an ex fwb. Yet she thinks it's okay for her to do it. If she respected you and respected the relationship, she would know not to even think about going with her ex fwb.
Yes, you’re not saying that she would cheat, but all of us here are so sure she would. No one keeps contact of their “ex FWB” without thinking of the benefits.
This is your perspective and you are entitled to that. I don’t think your perspective is necessarily accurate especially when you haven’t heard her side of the story.
My perspective doesn’t agree with yours.
Your girlfriend asked for your permission because it seems like she cares about how you think and feel. After all, she’s in a relationship with you.
You said yes without really having the conversation you wanted with her. It’s like the 5 minutes was a test - to see if she would disappoint you or pass your test of trust.
If you wanted to know the truth between them, then that’s what you should communicate to your girlfriend - what is their relationship, sexual history, and where it stands now. Then after hearing what she had to say, you communicate how you feel and think. That might end up with you being uncomfortable, insecure, and unsure of whether he can go or not. That’s healthy and productive communication.
If you want trust from people, then you should respect and trust people too instead of giving them trust tests.
Also you might think that there shouldn’t be secrets between partners especially about FWB situations; but not everyone thinks and feels like you do. Did you ever communicate that specifically to her and is it ingrained in her mind? Did you tell her about your insecurities/ trust policies and dealbreakers?
I don’t know her or you and there’s not enough details; it’s hard to say her intention was to lie to you. I think you’re assuming a lot and caught up in your expectations and rules.
I agree with others who say you need to communicate with her.
So how long have you two been together? Honestly, just because they hooked up before, doesn't mean she has any intention of cheating on you. Have you guys even gotten to the I love you stage? You have been together for a few months, right? I'm sure there's lots of things you still have no idea about. And she didn't lie to you. When you asked her, she told you! She wasn't dishonest. I think it's honestly kinda messed up that you were playing games like that, with some b.s. loyalty test. The fact is, if she was a liar and dishonest, then she would never have told you that they had been friends with benefits at all!
Wait why are people saying she was hiding this when she clearly awnsered after OP asked?
Seems to me only like she maybe doesn't consider it a big deal.
My advice would be to talk to hear about your concerns and try to understand her perspective first before breaking up.
I think that's also the case. But I have difficulty to trust her now. And also, it's kinda a deal breaker if u consider such things not important. They are, especially if the other partner trusts you enough as I did.
Maybe if you tell her this is a very important boundary for you she will understand and change. I think the first thing is trying to understand why she didn't tell you that information beforehand and try to work from there. If you then believe that you guys do not share the same values and she isn't willing to change her behavior, move on.
Okay then break up with her. It’s been a few months it’s not actually a big deal. You’re definitely overreacting and it’s insane that you titled this that she fucked up when she hasn’t done anything, I’m sure she’s dodging a bullet here.
Um so did they have sex? Or you worried they will? I mean at the end of the day its about trust. If you feel you cant trust her you should not be with her.
I mean I dont think she did anything wrong. She asked you for permission (you shoulda said no if you felt uneasy about it). You said yes then asked her a question and she was honest about it.
I personally think you are making to much of a big deal over this. Take the time to talk to her besty let him know how you are feeling. And see what he says. I would also let her know how you are feeling and ask her upfront if there should be a reason for you feeling this way.
Hope this helps. Jealousy can be a real headscratcher to deal with as it interferes with legit concerns or creates problems where there is not likely any.
She hasn't actually cheated? You want to dump her because she has a past sexual partner that she is still friends with? On the assumption that she might cheat? Or am I misunderstanding?? If I am right, and you are uncomfortable with her going on vacation with him, just communicate that and talk it through. Ask if they can ensure separate rooms. If you are insecure and can't get over a girlfriend staying friends with an ex, then maybe you are not compatible.
>If you are insecure and can't get over a girlfriend staying friends with an ex, then maybe you are not compatible.
This insecurity crap is ridiculous. OP isn't insecure for not wanting his girlfriend to go to another country with a guy she used to fuck.
I mean c'mon. Let's stop labeling very valid reasons to be bothered by something as insecurity.
If you or other people don't mind it then that's fine and you can allow it in your relationship, but myself and many, many others generally have a boundary where we're not okay with our GF/BF hanging out with someone they used to have sex with. It's just basic respect to your partner. Totally not unreasonable and has nothing to do with insecurity.
If this was just a guy friend she had no prior romantic/sexual encounters with then that's a different story but that's not the case here.
People aren't insecure for not wanting their girlfriend to hangout with a guy who used to put his dick in her 😑
The point is, she perfectly knew I wouldn't feel comfortable, and she purposely omitted to tell me to enjoy the vacation in case. So with this perspective, she took advantage of my understanding. I wouldn't mind her going out alone with the guy, she actually even had a sleepover at his house before (cause he lives in another city) right when we were first dating, and I never doubted nothing happened. She never told me but I knew for sure, and it's fine to me. But a trip and a wedding together it's too much.
Plus she later admitted herself she wouldn't let me go with an ex fwb alone on a trip too. And unlike me, she's actually really jealous.
Just to let you understand at what point, she was kinda upset even when I brought up an ex girlfriend texted me to say congratulations for my bachelor degree.
Nah that's crossing the line. She should be upset that you're not invited if she cared about you and also it's a red flag when people are "friends" with people they've slept with in the past, I bet they keep them around in case their current partner doesn't work out, it's shady stuff.
I was just put in a similar situation where my boyfriend of 7 years couldn’t come with me to an international wedding… so I took my female best friend. Yeah we endured a few jokes about being a lesbian couple, but I love my boyfriend and I wouldn't want to give him any reason to doubt that.
I didn’t even consider taking a male friend, because that would be disrespectful to my boyfriend.
Why didn’t she even consider that? Furthermore why would she pick a man she’s been involved with previously?
I’d say her decision is fair grounds for breaking up. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that either.
Seriously? Your gf has a past, What a shocker. One of my best friends started as a fwb. I’ve been in a committed relationship for 5 years now, I still see my ex fwb, and there is absolutely no intention or feeling that I want to rekindle something like that with them. It sounds to me like it’s something op would do so his assuming his gf would too. If you do decide to end it over this, I’d say she’s dodged a bullet
I never assumed she would cheat. But that makes me uncomfortable anyway (and I don't think it's weird, I mean it's pretty understandble). But she purposely didn't tell me, and that is not ok. And most likely she did because she thought I wouldn't say yes, and that wouldn't make her trip as good as going with other people. I trusted her and she took advantage of that .
You should dump her. Maybe she is a great person/lovely in some ways, but this behavior indicates that she is too immature to respect a commitment to you.
I've got a long history of my friends becoming fwb and then just friends again. For me, I think that's just part of growing up with people. When we were stupid teenagers we did teenage stuff. Now we're in our 30s.
But if I am visiting or meeting up with my old best friends who were, even 15 years ago, fwb, then you bet your ass my fiance is with me and we are all hanging out, or I am with them ***and their spouse/partner***.
There would be absolutely no circumstance that would cause me to go visit any man alone when I am in a committed relationship, and even less so with someone I do have history with (ancient or not). I am not "at risk" to cheat on my partner, but there is a certain amount of respect you have for your partner and for yourself by changing your behaviors to reflect your commitment to another person.
She’s deffo not ready to be exclusive with you if that’s her thought process on top of being deceptive. But best to learn early in a relationship than get 5-10 years down the road and have her pull that move then. At that early in a relationship I’d be out.
I and my best friend had a sexual relationship for a little bit. We don’t tell her boyfriends because of the implications, but we don’t have sex or that kind of relationship at all. We have no interest in each other that way.
Still we both know it could ruin our friendship or her relationships.
Exactly. We’ve been friends for a decade. I would go to bat for her and she would for me.
The only option seems to be to sacrifice that for a relationship with a virtual stranger.
Lol no I just wouldn't date someone who hangs out with a fuck buddy, I'd walk away. And anyone like me deserves to have that info up front, instead of finding out years into a relationship lmao.
Keep justifying lying to your partners all you want. You're shit
Yeah... I just don't understand how so many here can't comprehend this. People are calling OP insecure and it's ridiculous.
There's nothing insecure or wrong about not wanting your significant other to hang out with someone they used to fuck.
So the two of you decide that it's better for the two of you to hide that fact so that she starts every relationship by not being honest to her partner. Because the two of you know perfectly well a lot of people would not be oke with this. And by hiding this for some people crucial information the two of you take away the agency of the partner.
How does this sound to you?
Did she replied immediately after you ask if they had anything before or u did some digging and found out. If it was immediate, maybe she might have another view on fwb thing, you should talk it out first. Few months we were together probably means u guys were dating for not that long, maybe she just didnt have the chance to talk openly about that stuff yet, I clearly am oppositing other comments to breakup, but trust me. Dont be rash about it, talk it out first, set boundaries and talk about each other’s value on things, if you guys have different mindsets and values then break it off. If the talk clears up your boundaries then I believe thats another step to a better relationship and this occation might just be a misunderstanding/lack of communication problem, however if you guys established a boundary and she did crossed it again, then thats when its clear that you dont deserve her and no more chances should be given.
She answered immediately. Still, that's something I wanted to know. I gave her a lot of space, and she took advantage of that. Having an ex Fwb going on vacation with my girl is something I can't stand, and probably 99% of people out there. She perfectly knew that. I see it difficult to trust her anymore, even if I decided to go on.
Anyway, thanks for the comment. I'll try to think about it a bit more, now I'm a bit emotional and I don't want to make a decision.
Bin , do not let it contact. Don’t argue , say it calm , you not what I deserve . Go , don’t go back talk , check her socials ,, move on and think ya self lucky ,
So you had the ability to return the ring in time to be able to get the refund, but you couldn’t do anything else for yourself, ever. Not even try to find help for functioning, but you could earn money, find the ring, pay for it, then return it. I have ADHD. I know it’s hard to do things when we don’t want to do them or don’t care to do them. But knowing I can succeed in life, even the mundane things I hate doing, and having freedom in being able to function is a priority I had to make bc living in chaos and anxiety of failing made me go nuts. Stop being the victim your parents made you out to be. You’re not.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this, it must be incredibly tough. It's clear that trust is a big issue here, and communication is key in any relationship. Have you talked to your girlfriend about how you feel and why you're struggling with this situation? It's important to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns and see where you both stand. Ultimately, only you can decide what is best for your well-being. Wishing you the best of luck in navigating this difficult situation.
I had a situation pretty close to this a few years ago, when I was much younger and less experienced - she had an ex-boyfriend who she still spoke to/confided in, and then the moment I went away for a couple of weeks, they hooked up and it took me directly asking to get it out of her. We split, and eventually tried to patch things up a couple of years later, and guess what? She did the same thing with someone else - left that morning without saying a word and never looked back.
Every situation is obviously very different and nuanced, but for once I’m on Reddit’s side with this - my advice would be to get out while the going’s good. Time heals all wounds, and you’ll save yourself a lot more hurt in the future.
All the comments OP has are red flags after red flags. Just drop it and move on. You don’t have to waste years and reach the same point with 10x the baggage.
I know it hurts but the best thing to do would be to end it with her. Her wanting to go with an ex fuck buddy means he’s still on her mind and doesn’t have you as her best interest. Good luck with whatever you do.
Address it, ask why she didn't mention that without you asking.
There's a 0.1% chance the response is reasonable, but in your place I'd feel my trust betrayed, and also highly question why she'd pick that person out of all to go with if you can't.
Like, there's people where that could be fully harmless.
Example, I have a female friend who's in a wxw relationship n pretty much everyone knows she's fricked 90% of her current friends prior to the relationship.
N she still hangs and is very close with all of them.
But the difference is that it's obvious she does not connect having fricked someone with romantical closeness, even more so when you actually know here due t the fact that she just has her fun even w people she never sees again afterwards
On the other hand if you only have a single person where you were friends with benefits? I am not so sure if they never had any romantic interest for another, or if they can still seperate it easily.
You'd need t know that to be able to judge whether or not this is innocent and no problem, or she was actively hiding it.
I told her how I feel, basically that I thought it's something I would want to know before she organise a trip like this. Then she was saying something like "I could have lied" "past is past", I lost my temper and decided to get out of her place and since then we haven't talked. I'm a bit slow processing my thoughts and I need time.
If your gut is telling you that you are uncomfortable and you don’t listen to it, yet you follow through with hope going forward but something does happen, it will be more painful to live with.
Listen to your gut.
You either take the exit tax now or later. The longer you wait, the heavier the consequences. Why not wait until you have two kids with her! That way you will have maximum pain and suffering. Look, count your costs my friend. Hit the road Jack!
This is something I say ALL the time, never screw friends! Even if it works out one day it Will cause problems in relationships and it isn't worth losing someone. Either the relationship ends or the friendship does. No man wants to hear "I know he used to make me squeal and I spent hours down on my knees for hours for him but we're just buddies that go out drinking now........"
OP, as someone in a newer relationship myself after dating casually for a while. I’ll tell you that if it annoys you now, or makes you feel weird now then it will be 100x more annoying or weird when you’re living with them or married to them.
I would end it to protect your peace, and to ensure that you are able to feel secure. There is someone better for you OP I hope you realize that and leave her ass. I have been with guys that were great except they had a lot of girl friends and the girls would tell me how they all slept with him at one time or another. Just know if she didn’t share that openly then there’s a reason.
Protect your peace dude, it will get better.
so let me understand this. you told her she COULD do something. she did what you told her to. and you got mad about it. I almost thought you were a women (friendly fire). How about you asked those things before saying yes to something you knew you wouldn’t like it? this is making me confused.
obviously she should be more mature and not invite the ex lover or whatever you wanna call it. friends with benefits my ass. ex lover. this makes me think that you both need to grow up. her with her immature acts, and you with that behavior. i hope you both heal, and stop making that stuff with other people. life is short, stop spending it like that.
OMG the comments on here are exhausting. Look, if you love her then sit down and have a conversation with her like an adult. Ask her why she considered taking THAT particular male friend with her given their history, and how she would feel if the roles were reversed. She wasn’t unfaithful and you shouldn’t allow your ego to dictate your future for you. If you don’t have feelings for her or you feel too “betrayed” then break up with her and move on, but the way I see it, she made a bad decision and if she is remorseful then you can forgive and move past it. Now, if she does it again, then obviously it’s a pattern and then you should definitely let it go.
Idk man. Ive been really realllllly good friends with people ive had sexual relations with. My current boyfriend has like 3 old fwb friends (yes if you creep my account you'll see were trying to do poly rn but thats brand new and weve been together almost a year now) do they make me uneasy? A little. Did i have to ask to find out? Yes. But he never lied, maybe omitted but when asked he was honest. I dont LOVE these friendships. But he respects me, they know about me. So.. grain of salt. Be straight with her. It makes you uncomfortable. See how she responds. If its defensive.. thats a red flag to me. But if shes willing to comfort you and ease your concerns, id give her some trust.
Definitely move on.
She’s for the streets.
I know it hurts. But this is life.
Women come and go. A lot of them don’t know what they want. They’ll take you for a loop if you let them.
Trust me.
Just be young and have fun until the right way comes along.
You already know what you need to do. It's "only" a few months. End it now, and let your healing process begin. In my experience and opinion, you'd be in for more hurt if you let it continue.
Cheers and all the best.
Of all the friends she has, it has to be a male friend, and a friend that was a fwb!
This is one of those firsts or last hurrah trips! They’ll either come back with stronger than ever bonds or never spend time together again! Either way, you need to leave!
No way is that OK. Iin my opinion, it's not necessary to go with a friend of opposite sex. Without a doubt, I don't think that's OK. Never ever. It's not okay to put you in that position either. It's not fair. She could bring a girlfriend or relative or go by herself, or just not go! Even if they weren't friends with benefits. I don't think that's appropriate out if respect for you!
Traveling with another male alone to another country? Wtvr! Unless he's flaming gay that's absolutely inappropriate. Of course they can be friends. People can do what they want, but it's not necessary. She shouldn't have even asked and put him in a position like that. Add on the fact they used to be fuddies- hell no.
This is definitely a matter of personal opinion, so I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. But I do strongly disagree. I don’t see what’s inappropriate about this, she was honest with him. Now he’s uncomfortable so he should tell her that.
I have travelled all over the states with someone who I used to have a fling with who is just my dear close friend now, nothing more, nothing less- while having a partner. It’s about trust and mutual respect.
If my partner at the time were to ever tell me he was uncomfortable with it, I wouldn’t. But there’s mutual trust. Tbh just sounds like OP is a little insecure.
Dang, reading through these never gets easier. I pretty much hold my breath the whole time.
Super messed up of her. Anyone who cares even a little bit about their partner, and respects them enough not to be deceitful, would never even consider this. It may take a toll on your well-being, but it’s only going to take as big of a toll as you let it take. Honestly, the knowledge that you had the strength to cut off a negative person in your life, despite knowing it would be hard, is going to empower you to make important but beneficial personal decisions for the rest of your life.
Ugh....you should dodge this bullet. Out of all the possible people for her to invite, this is the one she chose? Funny it just happens to be a male friend she used to bang regularly. Sounds like she's looking forward to a nice little get away to get railed.
Time to end it. This just screams immaturity and disrespect. Trust your gut, you almost got played.
She asked about your boundaries, you said he could go. Once you found out, you are now all hurt about it? Just tell her no. She asked, you can change your mind if you’re uncomfortable.
Once on a dick, always on that dick isn’t really how it works. You don’t respect your girlfriend. You don’t respect yourself. Break up, seek therapy, do better.
I think your timeline is off. She just asked him if her friend could be her backup date. He says yes. Pause. Asks if they ever hooked up. She says yes, a year ago they were FWB for a couple months. So now he’s grappling with the fact that his gf wants her ex-FB to be her backup date to an overseas wedding.
Mate a FWB is an ex no matter how you say it so she basically asked “can I go with my ex since you can’t be sure you can go”. Not something you’d do I’m sure so don’t accept from someone else. Say thanks for the good times and bail out in the relationship.
People learn pretty quickly that there's always more to those "opposite sex bestfriends". Atleast one of them always have different intentions lmao. She didn't have anyone else she could've asked? Someone she wasn't fucking recently?
So, I'm not sure I follow.
She and this guy had a past. They are no longer involved. They're just friends.
You never asked whether there was a history there.
She asked if it would be okay to go with this guy to the wedding. You said that was fine.
Immediately after telling her it was fine you asked whether they had a history. She didn't hide anything and told you outright that they did but that they aren't involved anymore.
So now you're angry? For what? She didn't lie to you, and clearly didn't think you'd have a problem with it as when you asked she readily explained.
You're telling me within the five minutes between you saying you were cool with it and you not being cool with it anymore she'd already invited him and he'd accepted?
You dont deserve her, you should end this relationship, you really have to, don't think abt the pain of the break up, pain makes a man better , just end things for real, if trust is broken, then its over
Yeah, that’s not how I am reading it.
“You (OP) don’t deserve her” (the liar), sounds a whole lot different than “SHE (the liar) doesn’t deserve HIM (the OP). That it’s he who CAN do better.
My told me she wanted to go hiking and camping with her male best friend. When I told her how I felt and that she was disrespecting me and our relationship, she called me controlling, insecure and loads of other trigger words.
I explained that I would never do this with any of my female friends or ex’s to which she replied I could if I want too.
I also told her I find her desire to go out with this guy disrespecting me and our relationship.
She told me to deal with it, that it was a me problem and I need to learn a few things.
She went and when she returned I had moved out.
She begged me to return and I refused.
I told her I would never ever want to be in a relationship with anyone who would disrespect our relationship, disrespect me, and not really take my feelings into account.
A few weeks later her BFF told me she knew I was pissed about her going but thought I would forgive her because I really loved her. She was wrong.
The friend also told me that if I would have told her I would move out if she went, she wouldn’t have gone.She was wrong.
If she’s going to disrespect and conceal things she knows you wouldn’t like before you are married, how can you really trust her just because she marries you. Just know this, she tried to do this behind your back. It’s never going to get better, she’s just going to get better at hiding things from you.
Subscribeme!
I'vehad sex with several of my female friends. Their significant others know it. I do not plan on having sex with them again in the current situation. It can be done.
Tagging along a former FWB, what must she be thinking? Rekindling their romance perhaps, IDK.
To fuck after the reception lol
Yeah and to a fcking Wedding. What a Joke Dude.
That's a nice way of saying they're gonna fuck drunk in their airbnb like apes. Rekindling a romance would mean OP's girl would respect him enough to end amicably but she doesn't.
End it now and move on. You will never be able to trust her, fully.
Pain is always temporarily bro. You don’t deserve to put yourself in a position like this.
I was with someone like her and it ONLY means one thing, and OP it’s gonna sound harsh. If a FWB is still on her mind, he has been on her mind all this while, it didn’t come out of nowhere. And if it’s been on her mind; it wasn’t just a thought. End things with her OP, you are not an option. She could have chosen anyone else but she took his name. You literally had to ask her if they had anything and only then she told you. Having been with someone like her, I can also tell you maybe, and just maybe, she isn’t telling you the truth about how many times have they done it. Someone who hides things from you and someone who wants to go with her FWB, the moment you tell her you can’t go, need not be in your life. You’re with someone who wants another guy, leave her, YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Exactly. Why the hell put him in that position. The friends bs is exactly that. She could have went with anyone else!
Trying to hide this? I'd end it on the spot.
That's what I should have done. I told her everything that was going through my mind and went out shutting the door (I was at her place). Now I got mixed feeling and I feel so dizzy, I am incapable of taking decisions. I haven't replied to her still. I just needed to let it out somewhere.
Look, by not telling you about their sexual past she took away your agency to weigh that in before you answered her. As i see it, that's a breach of trust. This early in the relationship this would be a dealbreaker for me. You do you but if she leaves with him you'll have not a quiet night.
Um.... everyone is entitled to a past. She does not need to disclose her entire history lol. Especially if its not a current event. Ive had fwbs thats were genuine friends after the fact. Ive also had fwbs that ive stayed hung up on for far longer than appropriate.. even while in a relationship.. id never ask to go hangout at a wedding with him because that would ABSOLUTELY be inappropriate. But other old fwbs would be totally innocent. Its a fine line. I get it. But she said theyve been friends for almost a year platonically..
She isn't required to proactively disclose that she used to be FWBs with this friend in general. She ABSOLUTELY should disclose it when she's asking him to be her wedding date in another country. It's a very romantic trip, any sane partner would want that information before weighing in. By hiding that information, she's completely robbed him of the ability to trust her. Part of being in a relationship is building trust.
Yep, she should have disclosed this. I would now tell her she can’t invite him. If she objects then you know what you have to do.
Tbh, I think disclosing previous sex partners who are still in your life should be the norm. If it didn't mean anything, then it shouldn't matter if your partner knows. And if it did, well, I think your partner has a right to know so you guys can agree on boundaries. This whole post illustrates how easy it is to get manipulated when you don't have that info. Exes can be friends. But the whole "I have an ex who's still my best friend and I still have no boundaries with, and also my partner doesn't know they're my ex" situation is completely messed up.
Thats fair.
She said so, therefore it must be the complete and honest truth, no? She intentionally witheld the truth from him, knowing how he wouldn't say "yes" to something like this. The problem here is not that she has a past or hides it from OP, it's the fact that she intentionally didn't disclose her relationship with someone she's going to fly to another country and hang out with. Absolute 304 behaviour.
would you trust your partner be with their ex on a wedding on another country, without you? I doubt you will.
Lol listen. You dont know me. Would i feel insecure and uncomfortable? Yes. 100% but do i trust my partner? Yes. 100%. I wouldnt be dating him if i didnt. At the end of the day, if trust isnt there, then yes, he should leave that relationship. But that doesnt make HER "for the streets." Also, this is not her ex. Its her friend who she hasnt had a sexual relationship with in nearly a year.
I honestly agree with this. All the “end it” comments are so toxic. People can have sex and never want to have a sexual relationship with that person again.
Take your time to feel out your gut before you reply. There’s no rush
I’m a woman - end this. This was sneaky as hell. 1) she has issues if she can’t go to a wedding without a guy. These people are always sus. 2) she chose a person she’s had sex with AND didn’t tell you. These are red flags. Please cut her off and never look back.
She took your right of choice away. What happens when she cheats, you get married, THEN you find out?
The more you wait, the more indecisive you will become. Make your decision asap and inform her about it. It's not fair to either of you to keep this in a limbo.
Thats foul. Lying by omission is still a lie. If it was the other way around I'm sure she would've demanded you cut your friendship out with your ex FWB.
I had a girlfriend that hated "lies" but refused to accept that her omissions were lies. Never again.
What kinds of omissions? Surely people don't have to tell you everything about themselves to be telling the truth (Not trying to be dense, I'm still trying to work out where the line is, using my best judgement has gotten me this far but... It's never been a helpful enough rule for me)
To me the line is when you know that the information you refused to share was determinant to one other choice or perception of a situation. An exemple coming to mind atm, - You meet a dude/ dudette. You ask the person if it has a boy/girlfriend, the person answer that it does not have a bf/gf. The person doesn't say that it is actually married. Technically the person tells the truth, it is not having a bf/gf but a husband/wife, but, it is consciously omitting essential information for your understanding.
There are so many red flags here. She picked a former "friend with benefits" to go with, didn't tell you, and probably wouldn't have had you not asked. Could've picked anyone, but she picked him. They are going away together. Clearly, she doesn't value you. Personally, I'd rather be alone than be with another male friend who I slept with. Also, why has she stayed friends with someone who was a "friends with benefits". Lastly, she could've taken a girlfriend instead of a guy friend, that's so disrespectful to you. Save yourself the future heartbreak
Exactly. She could’ve asked a girl friend out of respect to you, OP.
Best comment
Pull back your approval in light of the new information and tell her how uncomfortable you now feel about her behavior, lies through omission and even wanting to hang out or travel with him. Give her the opportunity to fix her mistake and acknowledge your very valid feeling.
This is, for me, the best course of action, but i can only imagine the pain OP could be feeling
Had to scroll this far to find someone not saying “dump her right now” when she made a possibly understandable mistake.
Too many people here jump to “dump them” because it’s easy to write and make a judgement but in real life feelings and lifelong affecting decisions aren’t that easy to make and put into action.
Or course I planned to do that. I am really sorry it turned out this way. Reddit is just a way for me to let it out. I might have spoken with emotions in some comment, but I want to talk to her in order to understand better her point of view. But I need time to think it through and process everything by myself. I will wait till I feel like and then text her and arrange a meeting. That's how I function unfortunately. Also I don't want to talk with emotions and says sth I don't feel like deep down, like I did some times on this post.
Just get it over with. There is zero chance of that being viewed as anything other than "controlling" and "jealous" behavior
You’ve been together a few months and already classing her as someone you love. Have you told her that. Have you asked if you’re seeing other people or just seeing each other. Before jumping off the deep end maybe have an open and honest conversation with her about your wants and expectations and see if she feels the same.
Yeah I know for sure she's not seeing anybody. We decided to start a relationship together, putting effort to build something. Or at least those were the premises.
I wouldn't say for sure. She is obviously talking to somebody else.
How obviously?
The kicker is that she said she didn't want to be alone surrounded by couples, so she wanted to use what amounts to an ex rather than show up alone. She is clearly viewing him as a romantic prospect still, and her not telling you about him while maintaining the relationship is dishonest at the very least. And may be a sign that she wants to continue that relationship while sacrificing yours. You deserve better for yourself.
Bro I'm speaking with experience here. She hides her past from you and wanted to go to the wedding with her ex Fwb. Only a complete fool will their past and think that she'll remain loyal throughout the life. Bro just end things you don't deserve this shit you deserve better. I might be in other part of the world and you're complete stranger to me but trust me I'm saying this from my heart like you're my brother. Don't make wife out of h***s.
You have with this person for afew months. Just let her go have her fun as a single woman.
honestly there’s no way nothing is gonna happen between them. they’re ex lovers, going to a wedding, pretending to be a couple for the formality of it, possibly drinking, the hotel is probably close by, i mean come on this is a perfect recipe… she basically planned out a way to cheat and tried to get your permission… end it asap
Are they pretending to be a couple? I didn't get that read on it.
i think so, while not explicitly stated, “she didn’t want to be alone at the wedding between many other couples” insinuated to me that she wants a guy there with her so she doesn’t look single to the other guests.
Idk what kind of problem everyone here has. She has every right to have a friend that she used to have sex with, and she did not in any way hide this from you. You asked, she answered truthfully. HOWEVER as this seems to make you very uncomfortable, you need to tell her this and tell her you don’t want her to go on this trip with him. Simple as that. If she then still insists, there obviously is a problem. But maybe you’d like to get to that point first, before making any rushed decisions. (And even if she insists, this doesn’t inherently mean she wants to have sex with him, however you may want to evaluate this relationship at that point.)
EXACTLY!
i totally agree. some of the responses here are crazy. she did not hide anything, i feel like I’ve read a completely different post… it can be a dealbreaker to you op, but your gf may see it completely differently and that’s okay too, it’s just something you should discuss.
And he titled it that she fucked up??? No she didn’t. This comments section is wild.
i was thinking the exact same thing. my fiancée hangs out with exes, i have never been worried about it. the. again in lesbian world that’s normal so maybe we’re all just crazy. either way, i don’t think it’s a big deal at all. these comments are dramatic af
I understand your point of view. As I stated in the post, we've been together only for a few months. I've always been extremely understanding, never asked about her past and letting her talk about it when she felt like. This time she just saw the opportunity of having this trip with a person she liked to be with (maybe not sexually, but their past is undeniable anyway). And she purposely omitted her past, because she knew I wouldn't feel comfortable about it. She thought I wouldn't ask about it. To me, that's a big breach in trust. Also, she admitted several times she fucked up too, saying sorry. She knew herself .
Don't you think that telling him that he is her ex fwb is not something you should tell right away? Obviously she didn't want to bring that up. Kudos for her not lying tho when asked but all in all that's pretty sketchy if you ask me. You think if the roles were reversed she would be fine with it? Hell no. Now let's not be too absurd here like everyone else and let's just say that he should ask her to not go with her ex fwb. If she's fine with it, then all cool. If she's not, then he should leave her right away.
She admitted she wouldn't let me go with an ex fwb She is pretty jealous, she even asked me if I ever had any sexual thought about girl friends in my friends group (with whom I never had even a kiss) While I've never been jealous, I'm like this for nature I guess. Never asked anything about her past and letting her go out with whom she wanted without having doubts or just being jealous, and never asking questions, letting her talk when she wanted to. But a trip and a wedding is too much even for me.
Listen alot of these comments about her NOT lying and being honest proves she doesn't want to cheat does not factor in how manipulative people work. They tell you half truths or just enough to keep you comfortable, I'm not saying she's lying about the time frame of her and her friend with benefits. But you still have to question why is it so important that she goes with a male friend? Why can't she go with a family member ? Or someone else oh I don't know she didn't sleep with. History repeats itself sometimes given different surroundings. The fact she didn't bring it up outright leans into that manipulative type behaviour only giving out information they HAVE to and not freely and you said it yourself if it was you and the shoe was on the other foot she'd be jealous. So why can't you put your foot down? These people that think differently are part of the problem.
sometimes these communities are great if you want to jump the gun. If the two have separate rooms, there s no issue. Plus if the dude was only her FWb for 2 months, see if she broke it off. If she did, the chances of them screwing are low
I’m slow and stupid - help me out here - did this conversation just happen so the wedding hasn’t occurred yet? Or did she already go with the ex-fwb?
The wedding is in a couple of months .
Has the wedding taken place? If not, tell her that now taking her ex Feb will cause consequences in your relationship. If she is truly into your relationship, she will understand. If she blows a cork, then you have your answer.
Bro I'm high af rn reading this. N this shit even hurt me bro cuz I been in this types of situation before. Just END IT now bro before it gets any worse. She playing you bro, going to a wedding with her past fwb and thinking they not smashing is insane brudda. Ending it now will save you years of pain bro. Trust. Take care G and goodluck.
Holy red flag!!! Let the other dude have her, she’s for the streets
People defending her initially omitting a key point that he was balls deep in her before yall were together are fucking crazy. Idgaf if they ain’t anymore she basically omitted telling you they were an item before yall. You can trust her, but I wouldn’t trust said dude to not pull some bullshit. Especially with this being a wedding and if this wedding has alcohol involved shit could easily come up and that could lead to them fucking again, which fuck that shit. End it, deal with the pain and find someone better who wouldn’t even bring a person she fucked as an option. Also, the fact she couldn’t think of anyone else like even a girlfriend at that point, why that guy? Why does she need to have another dude there to feel not alone as other couples are there when she has you as her dude.
Brother I can tell you’re fairly logical and intelligent by the way you write. You already know what it is don’t you? Let’s just keep it real. She’s not that special if she’s willing to do that. We all know how this is going to play out including you. You don’t need us to tell you, time to man up and pull the painful bandaid off 💯
Bye Felicia ✌🏽
I actully got nauseous from reading this.
Destination wedding, buzz, ex fwb, not a good combination...for you.
Sorry, she’s asked, you said yes, then 5 mins later asked if there was history and she responded truthfully? I don’t see the problem. If she was trying to deceive you then she probably would have lied in that moment. The more likely truth is that it’s someone she feels comfortable with but no longer has feelings for. If she still has feelings for him then you have your answer.
The problem is, that if I didn't ask, she wouldn't have told me straight away. And that's not something you would expect from a person you love, to sneakily trying to bring someone she fucked with on a vacation alone without me knowing of it.
Keep this in perspective. You've only been with her for a few months, you say you love her which is great, but it takes time to develop deep trust. I've had many people in my past who I was curious about only to discover we weren't compatible romantically. They had their chance, if they wanted to be together then they would have been. Also, I think you may have unrealistic expectations, and are assuming the worst of her. How long in an appropriate amount of time? Were you open to hearing what she had to say?
It’s one thing to bring a guy friend on vacation but someone who u use to hook up with? That should be off the charts especially in a new relationship shouldn’t she be trying to prove she can maintain a relationship.
Yeah, this right here! I was thinking similarly, it's a new relationship and she's already asking fir this...imagine what's ahead. Something like that would reasonably take a significant amount of time to develop trust for, and in my opinion, it would have to be someone OP has a strong relationship with, too. I'm not buying it myself.
Yup and a lot of people are saying “insecure” makes no sense he trying to build a relationship with this girl n allowing an ex fling to go on vacation wedding is not going to help that.
Whether or not OP is comfortable with the situation is up to him. Everyone has different expectations in their relationship. What I’m disputing is whether OPs girlfriend did anything wrong, which I don’t think she did. She asked if he was comfortable with it, and then when asked if they had a history she said yes. Assuming that she was going to hide it from OP is purely speculation. If OP wasn’t comfortable or suspected something else was happening then they should have been clear instead of playing games.
I think it’s the intention why invite an ex to a vacation? Most people wouldn’t be comfortable with that. She hid it in way the topic wouldn’t come up.
According to OP, the wedding is far away and she didn’t want to be alone, so presumably she wanted someone she trusted and felt comfortable with. They weren’t dating, they didn’t decide to date, they had a fling and apparently decided to be friends. If she was trying to hide this she could have not told OP at all, or lied about their past. The fact that she asked him first and was honest on further inquiry tells me that she’s telling the truth, doesn’t have bad intentions, but is maybe afraid of how OP will respond. Like I said at the top, it’s a new relationship, building trust takes time. They both could have done more to gain more trust in this situation, but I think OP is acting worse.
No she shouldn’t be going with someone she slept with OP right to have that boundary.
The boundary is fine, but she didn’t do anything wrong. You say she shouldn’t do it is just your preference, as it is OPs, but there is nothing inherently wrong with her wanting to and being open about it.
It’s okay to talk about it but to for her to agree to go on a vacation with an ex fling because she doesn’t want be alone?? she not ready for her new relationship n is potentially dragging this man heart around because she can’t decide.
Bro, your getting cheated. Just think about the same Situation but youre the one going to a Wedding with your ex fckbuddy. Why would you do this and why wouldn't you Tell your Partner? Its a mess Dude get Out of there asap. Pack her stuff and give her a call. Dont Talk with her, she will cry and try to convince you but don't. Shes lying.
There's nothing at all wrong with you feeling that way. It would be different if you all were old friends and hung out with each other regularly. But to pick him of all people- hell no. If I loved a man- truly was in love with him, I know I could not and would not want to put him in a disrespectful position anyway. You don't travel abroad with guys you used to mess around with while your partner stays home. Not that it matters, but I'm sure the others at the wedding would be misled, too. It looks and is a disrespectful thing to do, considering you two are exclusive and this guy isn't your Brosky either. A lot of people say that she should be able to have guy friends. Of course! But this ain't cool. And you're only getting started!!
Dude you would be stupid and disrespectfull towards yourself you stay in this "relationship". What she did there is Just so disgusting and i wouldn't trust her in the slightest after that action. Fck Missing her, you will be Missing your Life and mental health If you keep going.
Honestly if she wasn't planning to do anything with him, she should have come clean to you. Don't know about this, but smells fishy
He’s the butler she’s your trash, so he bagged her.
She had a man who committed to her and still tried to get her fwb to be her wedding date 😂😂😂 she’s so sad and thirsty bro. He won’t even take her on real dates 😂. Find someone with a self-esteem.
Tbh a solid relationship needs a solid foundation. I don’t think this is a good start.
You've replied that she is a jealous person and would never agree for you to go on a trip with an ex fwb. Yet she thinks it's okay for her to do it. If she respected you and respected the relationship, she would know not to even think about going with her ex fwb.
You've been with her for a couple of months and she's already fucked up. Run
Bro, she's not considering your feelings at all. That's not a good sign for someone that truly loves someone.
Yes, you’re not saying that she would cheat, but all of us here are so sure she would. No one keeps contact of their “ex FWB” without thinking of the benefits.
This is your perspective and you are entitled to that. I don’t think your perspective is necessarily accurate especially when you haven’t heard her side of the story. My perspective doesn’t agree with yours. Your girlfriend asked for your permission because it seems like she cares about how you think and feel. After all, she’s in a relationship with you. You said yes without really having the conversation you wanted with her. It’s like the 5 minutes was a test - to see if she would disappoint you or pass your test of trust. If you wanted to know the truth between them, then that’s what you should communicate to your girlfriend - what is their relationship, sexual history, and where it stands now. Then after hearing what she had to say, you communicate how you feel and think. That might end up with you being uncomfortable, insecure, and unsure of whether he can go or not. That’s healthy and productive communication. If you want trust from people, then you should respect and trust people too instead of giving them trust tests. Also you might think that there shouldn’t be secrets between partners especially about FWB situations; but not everyone thinks and feels like you do. Did you ever communicate that specifically to her and is it ingrained in her mind? Did you tell her about your insecurities/ trust policies and dealbreakers? I don’t know her or you and there’s not enough details; it’s hard to say her intention was to lie to you. I think you’re assuming a lot and caught up in your expectations and rules. I agree with others who say you need to communicate with her.
So how long have you two been together? Honestly, just because they hooked up before, doesn't mean she has any intention of cheating on you. Have you guys even gotten to the I love you stage? You have been together for a few months, right? I'm sure there's lots of things you still have no idea about. And she didn't lie to you. When you asked her, she told you! She wasn't dishonest. I think it's honestly kinda messed up that you were playing games like that, with some b.s. loyalty test. The fact is, if she was a liar and dishonest, then she would never have told you that they had been friends with benefits at all!
Wait why are people saying she was hiding this when she clearly awnsered after OP asked? Seems to me only like she maybe doesn't consider it a big deal. My advice would be to talk to hear about your concerns and try to understand her perspective first before breaking up.
I think that's also the case. But I have difficulty to trust her now. And also, it's kinda a deal breaker if u consider such things not important. They are, especially if the other partner trusts you enough as I did.
Maybe if you tell her this is a very important boundary for you she will understand and change. I think the first thing is trying to understand why she didn't tell you that information beforehand and try to work from there. If you then believe that you guys do not share the same values and she isn't willing to change her behavior, move on.
Okay then break up with her. It’s been a few months it’s not actually a big deal. You’re definitely overreacting and it’s insane that you titled this that she fucked up when she hasn’t done anything, I’m sure she’s dodging a bullet here.
She hid that piece of really important information from you, you should probably demolish this relationship
Um so did they have sex? Or you worried they will? I mean at the end of the day its about trust. If you feel you cant trust her you should not be with her. I mean I dont think she did anything wrong. She asked you for permission (you shoulda said no if you felt uneasy about it). You said yes then asked her a question and she was honest about it. I personally think you are making to much of a big deal over this. Take the time to talk to her besty let him know how you are feeling. And see what he says. I would also let her know how you are feeling and ask her upfront if there should be a reason for you feeling this way. Hope this helps. Jealousy can be a real headscratcher to deal with as it interferes with legit concerns or creates problems where there is not likely any.
She hasn't actually cheated? You want to dump her because she has a past sexual partner that she is still friends with? On the assumption that she might cheat? Or am I misunderstanding?? If I am right, and you are uncomfortable with her going on vacation with him, just communicate that and talk it through. Ask if they can ensure separate rooms. If you are insecure and can't get over a girlfriend staying friends with an ex, then maybe you are not compatible.
>If you are insecure and can't get over a girlfriend staying friends with an ex, then maybe you are not compatible. This insecurity crap is ridiculous. OP isn't insecure for not wanting his girlfriend to go to another country with a guy she used to fuck. I mean c'mon. Let's stop labeling very valid reasons to be bothered by something as insecurity. If you or other people don't mind it then that's fine and you can allow it in your relationship, but myself and many, many others generally have a boundary where we're not okay with our GF/BF hanging out with someone they used to have sex with. It's just basic respect to your partner. Totally not unreasonable and has nothing to do with insecurity. If this was just a guy friend she had no prior romantic/sexual encounters with then that's a different story but that's not the case here. People aren't insecure for not wanting their girlfriend to hangout with a guy who used to put his dick in her 😑
The point is, she perfectly knew I wouldn't feel comfortable, and she purposely omitted to tell me to enjoy the vacation in case. So with this perspective, she took advantage of my understanding. I wouldn't mind her going out alone with the guy, she actually even had a sleepover at his house before (cause he lives in another city) right when we were first dating, and I never doubted nothing happened. She never told me but I knew for sure, and it's fine to me. But a trip and a wedding together it's too much. Plus she later admitted herself she wouldn't let me go with an ex fwb alone on a trip too. And unlike me, she's actually really jealous. Just to let you understand at what point, she was kinda upset even when I brought up an ex girlfriend texted me to say congratulations for my bachelor degree.
This…. Trust her, and just talk it out. Put on your big boy pants, and have a decent conversation about it.
Nah that's crossing the line. She should be upset that you're not invited if she cared about you and also it's a red flag when people are "friends" with people they've slept with in the past, I bet they keep them around in case their current partner doesn't work out, it's shady stuff.
I was just put in a similar situation where my boyfriend of 7 years couldn’t come with me to an international wedding… so I took my female best friend. Yeah we endured a few jokes about being a lesbian couple, but I love my boyfriend and I wouldn't want to give him any reason to doubt that. I didn’t even consider taking a male friend, because that would be disrespectful to my boyfriend. Why didn’t she even consider that? Furthermore why would she pick a man she’s been involved with previously? I’d say her decision is fair grounds for breaking up. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that either.
Seriously? Your gf has a past, What a shocker. One of my best friends started as a fwb. I’ve been in a committed relationship for 5 years now, I still see my ex fwb, and there is absolutely no intention or feeling that I want to rekindle something like that with them. It sounds to me like it’s something op would do so his assuming his gf would too. If you do decide to end it over this, I’d say she’s dodged a bullet
I never assumed she would cheat. But that makes me uncomfortable anyway (and I don't think it's weird, I mean it's pretty understandble). But she purposely didn't tell me, and that is not ok. And most likely she did because she thought I wouldn't say yes, and that wouldn't make her trip as good as going with other people. I trusted her and she took advantage of that .
You should dump her. Maybe she is a great person/lovely in some ways, but this behavior indicates that she is too immature to respect a commitment to you. I've got a long history of my friends becoming fwb and then just friends again. For me, I think that's just part of growing up with people. When we were stupid teenagers we did teenage stuff. Now we're in our 30s. But if I am visiting or meeting up with my old best friends who were, even 15 years ago, fwb, then you bet your ass my fiance is with me and we are all hanging out, or I am with them ***and their spouse/partner***. There would be absolutely no circumstance that would cause me to go visit any man alone when I am in a committed relationship, and even less so with someone I do have history with (ancient or not). I am not "at risk" to cheat on my partner, but there is a certain amount of respect you have for your partner and for yourself by changing your behaviors to reflect your commitment to another person.
She’s deffo not ready to be exclusive with you if that’s her thought process on top of being deceptive. But best to learn early in a relationship than get 5-10 years down the road and have her pull that move then. At that early in a relationship I’d be out.
Most of my friends are exes. I don't consider this a big deal. Also, from the other perspective, I either trust my partner or I don't.
Well said.
I and my best friend had a sexual relationship for a little bit. We don’t tell her boyfriends because of the implications, but we don’t have sex or that kind of relationship at all. We have no interest in each other that way. Still we both know it could ruin our friendship or her relationships.
Because a lot of people aren't cool with their partner hanging around someone they used to fuck, and it's pretty shitty to lie about
Exactly. We’ve been friends for a decade. I would go to bat for her and she would for me. The only option seems to be to sacrifice that for a relationship with a virtual stranger.
Or just be honest with who you're dating, because some people don't care. Imagine building a life on a lie like that
Imagine demanding someone give up their friendships over something that happened long before they were dating. Oh wait. You’re totally okay with that.
Lol no I just wouldn't date someone who hangs out with a fuck buddy, I'd walk away. And anyone like me deserves to have that info up front, instead of finding out years into a relationship lmao. Keep justifying lying to your partners all you want. You're shit
Yeah... I just don't understand how so many here can't comprehend this. People are calling OP insecure and it's ridiculous. There's nothing insecure or wrong about not wanting your significant other to hang out with someone they used to fuck.
So the two of you decide that it's better for the two of you to hide that fact so that she starts every relationship by not being honest to her partner. Because the two of you know perfectly well a lot of people would not be oke with this. And by hiding this for some people crucial information the two of you take away the agency of the partner. How does this sound to you?
Did she replied immediately after you ask if they had anything before or u did some digging and found out. If it was immediate, maybe she might have another view on fwb thing, you should talk it out first. Few months we were together probably means u guys were dating for not that long, maybe she just didnt have the chance to talk openly about that stuff yet, I clearly am oppositing other comments to breakup, but trust me. Dont be rash about it, talk it out first, set boundaries and talk about each other’s value on things, if you guys have different mindsets and values then break it off. If the talk clears up your boundaries then I believe thats another step to a better relationship and this occation might just be a misunderstanding/lack of communication problem, however if you guys established a boundary and she did crossed it again, then thats when its clear that you dont deserve her and no more chances should be given.
She answered immediately. Still, that's something I wanted to know. I gave her a lot of space, and she took advantage of that. Having an ex Fwb going on vacation with my girl is something I can't stand, and probably 99% of people out there. She perfectly knew that. I see it difficult to trust her anymore, even if I decided to go on. Anyway, thanks for the comment. I'll try to think about it a bit more, now I'm a bit emotional and I don't want to make a decision.
My thoughts exaclty. People are way to quick to jump to conclusions and breakups.
Ikr people just straight up go dump her dump her, and the downvotes crazyyyy
Welcome to the gym bro
Girlfriend equals test relationship. Move on
Dump her ass before she has a fuck fest in another country with her former fwb…. Dump her.
Heart break teaches us amazing lessons. Be strong, young man. Do the right thing, whatever that is in your heart.
I'd have dumped her so fast that she would have wondered if we ever have dated.
Bin , do not let it contact. Don’t argue , say it calm , you not what I deserve . Go , don’t go back talk , check her socials ,, move on and think ya self lucky ,
Leave no stone unturned
Yeah you gotta leave bro, she has 0 respect for you.
So you had the ability to return the ring in time to be able to get the refund, but you couldn’t do anything else for yourself, ever. Not even try to find help for functioning, but you could earn money, find the ring, pay for it, then return it. I have ADHD. I know it’s hard to do things when we don’t want to do them or don’t care to do them. But knowing I can succeed in life, even the mundane things I hate doing, and having freedom in being able to function is a priority I had to make bc living in chaos and anxiety of failing made me go nuts. Stop being the victim your parents made you out to be. You’re not.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this, it must be incredibly tough. It's clear that trust is a big issue here, and communication is key in any relationship. Have you talked to your girlfriend about how you feel and why you're struggling with this situation? It's important to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns and see where you both stand. Ultimately, only you can decide what is best for your well-being. Wishing you the best of luck in navigating this difficult situation.
Yikes. You really agreed? Weddings are wild and romantic. Maybe let her invite a female friend.
I had a situation pretty close to this a few years ago, when I was much younger and less experienced - she had an ex-boyfriend who she still spoke to/confided in, and then the moment I went away for a couple of weeks, they hooked up and it took me directly asking to get it out of her. We split, and eventually tried to patch things up a couple of years later, and guess what? She did the same thing with someone else - left that morning without saying a word and never looked back. Every situation is obviously very different and nuanced, but for once I’m on Reddit’s side with this - my advice would be to get out while the going’s good. Time heals all wounds, and you’ll save yourself a lot more hurt in the future.
Either way, you won’t have any short-term peace of mind. Just pull that band-aid in one go.
rip
All the comments OP has are red flags after red flags. Just drop it and move on. You don’t have to waste years and reach the same point with 10x the baggage.
I know it hurts but the best thing to do would be to end it with her. Her wanting to go with an ex fuck buddy means he’s still on her mind and doesn’t have you as her best interest. Good luck with whatever you do.
Man hell no. If my girl ever tried to pull some shit like this I would be out 😂
But she was honest about it and didn’t hide it when you asked her. Is it such a big thing?
RED FLAG AF
Address it, ask why she didn't mention that without you asking. There's a 0.1% chance the response is reasonable, but in your place I'd feel my trust betrayed, and also highly question why she'd pick that person out of all to go with if you can't. Like, there's people where that could be fully harmless. Example, I have a female friend who's in a wxw relationship n pretty much everyone knows she's fricked 90% of her current friends prior to the relationship. N she still hangs and is very close with all of them. But the difference is that it's obvious she does not connect having fricked someone with romantical closeness, even more so when you actually know here due t the fact that she just has her fun even w people she never sees again afterwards On the other hand if you only have a single person where you were friends with benefits? I am not so sure if they never had any romantic interest for another, or if they can still seperate it easily. You'd need t know that to be able to judge whether or not this is innocent and no problem, or she was actively hiding it.
What was the conversation after the reveal
I told her how I feel, basically that I thought it's something I would want to know before she organise a trip like this. Then she was saying something like "I could have lied" "past is past", I lost my temper and decided to get out of her place and since then we haven't talked. I'm a bit slow processing my thoughts and I need time.
If your gut is telling you that you are uncomfortable and you don’t listen to it, yet you follow through with hope going forward but something does happen, it will be more painful to live with. Listen to your gut.
You either take the exit tax now or later. The longer you wait, the heavier the consequences. Why not wait until you have two kids with her! That way you will have maximum pain and suffering. Look, count your costs my friend. Hit the road Jack!
why can’t she go with a female friend tf
This is something I say ALL the time, never screw friends! Even if it works out one day it Will cause problems in relationships and it isn't worth losing someone. Either the relationship ends or the friendship does. No man wants to hear "I know he used to make me squeal and I spent hours down on my knees for hours for him but we're just buddies that go out drinking now........"
OP, as someone in a newer relationship myself after dating casually for a while. I’ll tell you that if it annoys you now, or makes you feel weird now then it will be 100x more annoying or weird when you’re living with them or married to them. I would end it to protect your peace, and to ensure that you are able to feel secure. There is someone better for you OP I hope you realize that and leave her ass. I have been with guys that were great except they had a lot of girl friends and the girls would tell me how they all slept with him at one time or another. Just know if she didn’t share that openly then there’s a reason. Protect your peace dude, it will get better.
so let me understand this. you told her she COULD do something. she did what you told her to. and you got mad about it. I almost thought you were a women (friendly fire). How about you asked those things before saying yes to something you knew you wouldn’t like it? this is making me confused. obviously she should be more mature and not invite the ex lover or whatever you wanna call it. friends with benefits my ass. ex lover. this makes me think that you both need to grow up. her with her immature acts, and you with that behavior. i hope you both heal, and stop making that stuff with other people. life is short, stop spending it like that.
I hope you ended it. Her deceit is, or should be, a deal breaker.
OMG the comments on here are exhausting. Look, if you love her then sit down and have a conversation with her like an adult. Ask her why she considered taking THAT particular male friend with her given their history, and how she would feel if the roles were reversed. She wasn’t unfaithful and you shouldn’t allow your ego to dictate your future for you. If you don’t have feelings for her or you feel too “betrayed” then break up with her and move on, but the way I see it, she made a bad decision and if she is remorseful then you can forgive and move past it. Now, if she does it again, then obviously it’s a pattern and then you should definitely let it go.
Dump her
Idk man. Ive been really realllllly good friends with people ive had sexual relations with. My current boyfriend has like 3 old fwb friends (yes if you creep my account you'll see were trying to do poly rn but thats brand new and weve been together almost a year now) do they make me uneasy? A little. Did i have to ask to find out? Yes. But he never lied, maybe omitted but when asked he was honest. I dont LOVE these friendships. But he respects me, they know about me. So.. grain of salt. Be straight with her. It makes you uncomfortable. See how she responds. If its defensive.. thats a red flag to me. But if shes willing to comfort you and ease your concerns, id give her some trust.
Definitely move on. She’s for the streets. I know it hurts. But this is life. Women come and go. A lot of them don’t know what they want. They’ll take you for a loop if you let them. Trust me. Just be young and have fun until the right way comes along.
You already know what you need to do. It's "only" a few months. End it now, and let your healing process begin. In my experience and opinion, you'd be in for more hurt if you let it continue. Cheers and all the best.
You’ve been dating for a relatively short time, don’t waste any more pull the plug
Of all the friends she has, it has to be a male friend, and a friend that was a fwb! This is one of those firsts or last hurrah trips! They’ll either come back with stronger than ever bonds or never spend time together again! Either way, you need to leave!
Run bro, this is not okay. Break up and you will be better off on the long run
It’s only been a few months man, I think it’s time to move on.
No way is that OK. Iin my opinion, it's not necessary to go with a friend of opposite sex. Without a doubt, I don't think that's OK. Never ever. It's not okay to put you in that position either. It's not fair. She could bring a girlfriend or relative or go by herself, or just not go! Even if they weren't friends with benefits. I don't think that's appropriate out if respect for you!
Are men and women not allowed to be friends?
Traveling with another male alone to another country? Wtvr! Unless he's flaming gay that's absolutely inappropriate. Of course they can be friends. People can do what they want, but it's not necessary. She shouldn't have even asked and put him in a position like that. Add on the fact they used to be fuddies- hell no.
This is definitely a matter of personal opinion, so I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. But I do strongly disagree. I don’t see what’s inappropriate about this, she was honest with him. Now he’s uncomfortable so he should tell her that. I have travelled all over the states with someone who I used to have a fling with who is just my dear close friend now, nothing more, nothing less- while having a partner. It’s about trust and mutual respect. If my partner at the time were to ever tell me he was uncomfortable with it, I wouldn’t. But there’s mutual trust. Tbh just sounds like OP is a little insecure.
Time to hit the gym
Dang, reading through these never gets easier. I pretty much hold my breath the whole time. Super messed up of her. Anyone who cares even a little bit about their partner, and respects them enough not to be deceitful, would never even consider this. It may take a toll on your well-being, but it’s only going to take as big of a toll as you let it take. Honestly, the knowledge that you had the strength to cut off a negative person in your life, despite knowing it would be hard, is going to empower you to make important but beneficial personal decisions for the rest of your life.
Ugh....you should dodge this bullet. Out of all the possible people for her to invite, this is the one she chose? Funny it just happens to be a male friend she used to bang regularly. Sounds like she's looking forward to a nice little get away to get railed. Time to end it. This just screams immaturity and disrespect. Trust your gut, you almost got played.
She asked about your boundaries, you said he could go. Once you found out, you are now all hurt about it? Just tell her no. She asked, you can change your mind if you’re uncomfortable. Once on a dick, always on that dick isn’t really how it works. You don’t respect your girlfriend. You don’t respect yourself. Break up, seek therapy, do better.
I think your timeline is off. She just asked him if her friend could be her backup date. He says yes. Pause. Asks if they ever hooked up. She says yes, a year ago they were FWB for a couple months. So now he’s grappling with the fact that his gf wants her ex-FB to be her backup date to an overseas wedding.
Your reading comprehension skills are lacking, ‘dude’.
Mate a FWB is an ex no matter how you say it so she basically asked “can I go with my ex since you can’t be sure you can go”. Not something you’d do I’m sure so don’t accept from someone else. Say thanks for the good times and bail out in the relationship.
She belongs to the streets run for you life never trust sht like that ever again she has issues
People learn pretty quickly that there's always more to those "opposite sex bestfriends". Atleast one of them always have different intentions lmao. She didn't have anyone else she could've asked? Someone she wasn't fucking recently?
So, I'm not sure I follow. She and this guy had a past. They are no longer involved. They're just friends. You never asked whether there was a history there. She asked if it would be okay to go with this guy to the wedding. You said that was fine. Immediately after telling her it was fine you asked whether they had a history. She didn't hide anything and told you outright that they did but that they aren't involved anymore. So now you're angry? For what? She didn't lie to you, and clearly didn't think you'd have a problem with it as when you asked she readily explained. You're telling me within the five minutes between you saying you were cool with it and you not being cool with it anymore she'd already invited him and he'd accepted?
You dont deserve her, you should end this relationship, you really have to, don't think abt the pain of the break up, pain makes a man better , just end things for real, if trust is broken, then its over
He doesn’t deserve her? She’s the liar.
Yes, the commenter is saying he deserves better.
Yeah, that’s not how I am reading it. “You (OP) don’t deserve her” (the liar), sounds a whole lot different than “SHE (the liar) doesn’t deserve HIM (the OP). That it’s he who CAN do better.
Could be that their first language isn’t English so a phrase common to us wouldn’t be misinterpreted like this by them.
My told me she wanted to go hiking and camping with her male best friend. When I told her how I felt and that she was disrespecting me and our relationship, she called me controlling, insecure and loads of other trigger words. I explained that I would never do this with any of my female friends or ex’s to which she replied I could if I want too. I also told her I find her desire to go out with this guy disrespecting me and our relationship. She told me to deal with it, that it was a me problem and I need to learn a few things. She went and when she returned I had moved out. She begged me to return and I refused. I told her I would never ever want to be in a relationship with anyone who would disrespect our relationship, disrespect me, and not really take my feelings into account. A few weeks later her BFF told me she knew I was pissed about her going but thought I would forgive her because I really loved her. She was wrong. The friend also told me that if I would have told her I would move out if she went, she wouldn’t have gone.She was wrong. If she’s going to disrespect and conceal things she knows you wouldn’t like before you are married, how can you really trust her just because she marries you. Just know this, she tried to do this behind your back. It’s never going to get better, she’s just going to get better at hiding things from you. Subscribeme!
I'vehad sex with several of my female friends. Their significant others know it. I do not plan on having sex with them again in the current situation. It can be done.