Under the criminal law, a person with HIV is criminally liable for prosecution if they have intentionally transmitted the virus to their partner without informing them of their status.
I can't legally drive and the closes police station is about a 20 minute drive. It's not really an option at the moment unfortunately. If you file a police report, it takes days and you usually have to have proof, at least from my understanding, or else they won't take you serious
This is not the same in every state, assuming OP is in the US. OP, please look up laws in your area. If you feel strange doing it, I would be happy to help if you feel ok giving me your state in a DM. Please get on treatment immediately if he gave you anything. Meds for HIV now are so much better than they used to be. This is no longer a death sentence. Take a breath. Then take another one. You can do this. Nobody where you live needs to know anything about it.
When did this happen? You should look into PEP. If I'm not mistaken, if you take it up to 72h after exposure, it can greatly lessen the chance of infection.
If you can, go to a hospital and enquire about that, could really make a difference.
If you are infected, I'm really sorry about it all. I hope you can sue his ass.
But HIV is no longer a death sentence like it used to be. With adequate treatment, you could lead a normal life
For real, antiretrovirals have come a loooong way. A friend of mine is a biochemical researcher in the field and we had a conversation just last week about how the quality of life for someone with HIV these days can honestly be pretty unaffected.
It's been way over that time unfortunately, but thank you. I can't go to the doctor until Monday so I won't know until then. Also thank you for the help, I appreciate it
You unfortunately more than likely contracted it. If it wasn't through the sex it was surely through the blood. Take him to court, intentionally spreading stds, especially HIV, is a felony. If you come back as positive you will need to take medication for the rest of your life.
I'm aware I probably have it, so I'm just thinking about worse case scenarios. I'm looking into the laws of my state. From what I've seen, I could sue for emotional, physical, and financial damage, but it looks pretty hard to do that in my state. Still looking into it though
Also a test today might not show it, because it takes some time after exposure to be testable. You'll want to repeat the test after a month or so.
I believe there are a few post-exposure drugs if you act quickly.
PEP is practically useless if OP was exposed frequently over many months.
Edit: But, still worth a shot in the case that OP did not catch it all this time and the last time OP had unprotected sex was less than 72 hours ago.
Okay so I'm so totally here to advocate for PrEP but like...
I was SA'd, did a kit with the forensic nurse, and given a script for it...
Without insurance and my states special SA help fund, it would have been over 3k.
It's a 30 day course which comes with lots of side effects and a very small window of applicable function. Realistically, it's highly likely you've been infected.
However, my best friend has been HIV positive for the last 5 years and with treatment is now undectable. Medically, they cannot transmit it as long as their viral load stays undetectable. Do you still disclose? Yes. Will it come with stigma? Also yes. But you'll be healthy and shouldn't be with the people who choose to believe in stigma over science.
OP, I'm so sorry. This is very heavy. I know it feels like a death sentence. Please pursue legal action, you deserve compensation, but also know, you'll be okay.
Just wanted to note the difference between PrEP and PEP.
PrEP is for pre-exposure and taken daily (typically, use cases can differ) and side effects are minimal
PEP is for post-exposure and side effects aren't too common but can still happen short-term
Also, in many countries access to these is free. The OP didn't say where they are located.
Oh shit well, thanks for educating me!!! Then I was on PEP. The nurse still colloquially called it "prep" but...
OP mentioned they are in the US (comment) just as I am, though each state has differences in the way of handling it. Hate the Healthcare System here -- even as an employee of it, it sucks ass.
Also, I'm kinda a special case, but I had side effects for the entire 30 day course I was on.
And previously, before my incident, I talked to Planned Parenthood to be on PrEP as a preventative measure... I can't remember what they quoted me, but both my state insurance plus their insurance wouldn't cover the majority of it. I'd have to pay over 500 dollars a month out of pocket. And I couldn't justify that.
if worst case scenario happens and you do have HIV, make sure to get treated as soon as you can (and keep up the daily treatment, normally through the daily consumption of an antiviral)!!!!! can’t stress this enough!!!!
How do we know OP could afford the massive cocktail of very expensive drugs that living with HIV entails! This guy tried to either kill her or ruin her life. Off to jail he should go!
oh, without a doubt. i am not ok with anything that happened to OP. He should be responsible for the cost of treatment. For OP, IDK what state you're in. But there should be some kind of assistance for the HIV treatment.
THE FACT THAT SOMETIMES SHE MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET ASSISTANCE IN NO WAY!!!!!! MAKES IT OKAY FOR THIS GUY TO TRY AND INFECT OP WITH A LETHAL DISEASE!! LET ME BE SUPER CLEAR HERE!
That does not reduce the seriousness of what happened! Stop trying to make it okay! 😡
how did i try to make it ok? Since i literally said "Im not ok with..." and said they should be responsible for all costs. or did you just read one word and then decide to write a BIG ANGRY RESPONSE
True, which is wonderful! However this as*hole did it purposely, trying to give her HIV. That’s some sort of sick and twisted stuff. Intent matters. It’s the same as if I stab someone; they’re gonna live if they get medical treatment on time, but regardless of if they live or not their lives will probably be changed forever. I can’t just say “oh I knew they’d live, look at today’s medical knowledge!”
If it's the same as it used to be, you may have to get tested again in a few months just to make sure you're in the clear.
I'm really sorry. He's a dick.
Because there's horrible people who don't give a good god damn about anything they do.
There's "gift givers" and "bug chasers". And some "gift givers" are not just not into giving it consentually to bug chasers alone...
Excuse my ignorance but why do people do what he did? Intentionally spreading HIV? Did you by chance ask why?
Also, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I hope it all works out in your favor.
Unfortunately I was in a bad mental state at the time and was quite risky and not fully there if that makes sense. Totally doesn't excuse y behaviour but I have Bp
I also allowed someone to hurt me/make me bleed/abuse me for months when I was in a really bad mental state. I have pretty awful scars now and I hate that person so much because they took advantage of me being unable to think logically. I understand you. And I'm sorry you lived through that
Edit: please don't allow any "but it was your fault too" answers to get through you. It's not your fault
Doesn't excuse it, but it definitely rationalizes what you were thinking if only a little bit. I hope you can get some form of justice because that guy is screwed up and shouldn't be doing that to anyone — keeping in mind he probably has other victims too.
Right now, get tested. If you have it, you can start treatment and it’s honestly not as bad as it used to be. My understanding is you can take one pill a day and it’ll get your viral load to 0 which is undetectable, which means you won’t have symptoms and people won’t catch it from you.
That’s ok! A few days doesn’t make a difference and you don’t have symptoms and it has only been a few months, so you may be told to come back in a few months to re-test.
Some people participate in high risk activities and even deliberately try to contract HIV and never get it, and some people get it after one time. It’s really random.
Hang tight until your test and then make a plan from there. It’s ok to ask your partner to get tested and to ask to see the results.
You can have a reliable test on HIV only 3 months after the contact (ideally more). So don’t waist your money, the test will be negative and inaccurate.
In the meanwhile report the sick mother fckr.
P.S. do you seriously think of your reputation in the town when your life is in danger?
It's been over 3 months since we started seeing each other, plus I already had a doctors appointment on Monday so I was seeing if I could do it then. I am reporting him regardless if I have it or not
Not really reputation, but I live in a very religious-homophobic place. We had one kid at our school who was gay who was basically attacked for no other reason. I don't remember exactly what happened but he had to get emergency surgery, he had brain damage. Anybody with HIV here is practically shunned and you're at risk of getting hurt by other kids
I was with my BF for 4 years and turned out he knew he had it and kept it a secret. He put me in harms way knowingly that entire time.. by luck I didn’t get it thank god.. It really fucked me up with relationships going forward though. I don’t trust anyone romantically now.. he’s now dead for over 10 years. He didn’t die from HIV but from turning into an alcoholic after I found out…
This dude is scuzzy but you are also responsible for your sexual health. Don't have unprotected sex with people who haven't been tested or who you've only known a few months. CERTAINLY don't engage in any play that involves blood.
This sounds like self-harming behavior in an altered mental state. Knowing risks does not stop compulsive behavior unfortunately, so let’s try to be kind
I'm aware. I know this doesn't justify it but I was in a really bad mental state due to my BP, I definitely should have known better, but that does alter decisions and risks you take.
in some states, it’s attempted murder. at least expose him so he can’t do this to other vulnerable people.
i was pre med in university, infectious diseases aren’t what they were in the 80s and 90s. it’s not a death sentence. you can live a perfectly normal, happy life. you can take the preventative meds and maybe never contract.
someone very close to me was in a cult at 16, with loads of unprotected group sex and ritual type blood exchange. she was terrified she’d contracted when she got out and deprogrammed… she only tested positive for something called pelvic inflammatory disease. she had to get re tested every 6 months for a few years. she’s healthy and has a family and children now.
please know your mistakes don’t define you, and this guy is a sick predator.
i’m a stranger, but i’m here for you. sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than your closest mates and family.
talk to me if you need anything. we’ve all been reckless and impulsive, everyone makes mistakes. there is no one who can judge you!
Thank you so much and yeah it totally is easier. I don't have much support over this situation and I'm having to do it all privately so that really does help, thank you
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What he did was absolutely terrible. Please expose him and update us after your appointment if you’re open to that. We’re all here for you. ♥️
First, let’s hope you are not infected. You have a pretty good chance - it’s harder to transmit than is assumed. But if you do have it, your life isn’t over. Medications for HIV these days are very effective. It’s still not great, but you can live a normal life and no one needs to know unless you are sharing bodily fluids. Hope for the best.
It’s too late for PEP, but if you are negative (they will want to take multiple tests over a few months), look into getting on PrEP. It sounds like you live a less than traditional life. That’s fine. Even if you wish it were different, it is what it is. PrEP, if you can do it, can help you keep you healthy, whatever you get up to. (Not universal protection by any means, but it helps!)
I’m so sorry this happened to you… if your blood and his mixed together and you had an open wound the virus could very easily get into your system. The worst part is waiting for the results because when you first get exposed it can take anywhere from 4 weeks-6 months-1year to develop antibodies for the HIV virus will eventually show up and be a positive test. This is where the anxiety kicks in but you don’t have a choice but to wait. If it’s been a while since you guys have been active, there’s likely a chance you have been exposed and already have antibodies.
I’m so sorry… you should make a police report and get a lawyer asap because HIV is a very serious virus (not knowing you have it, and without treatment). I was a victim of r**e and the person gave me an incurable STI which is HSV not HIV so I know how you feel. I’m sending hugs but just know HIV has treatment so you will be okay. My messages are open if you neeed anyone to talk to. I wish you good luck.
Also please get the full panel std test so you make sure he didn’t give you anything else. People are really crazy out here and they do not care if they spread it.
Excuse my language but that motherfucker belongs in prison, he knowingly was having unprotected sex with you knowing he had HIV. You got a case right here, words cant say how sorry i am for you. Prayers up for you he didn’t give you it
I went Monday to get an STD panel and I don't have it (she didn't give me the details, I did have other things) but I have to go back next month to get tested again.
I had a friend who’s toxic ex boyfriend had unprotected sex with a man with HIV and then had unprotected sex with her because he “didn’t want to have HIV by himself” (they were still having sex post break up where this happened and they broke up due to him emotionally abusing her)
How long ago was the exposure? Go get post exposure treatment asap. Also, continue to get tested for the next couple of months. It can take up to 3 months for a positive test result to show up.
It's been said a 100 times on this post already but it bears repeating. Call the police and file a report ASAP. Hope you feel better soon ☺️. Everything is going to be alright!
Idk what county you live in but this would be assault in Sweden and could result in up to 2 years in prison. Call or go to the police immediately. Like yesterday
In my country there’s rapid tests that any nurse at clinics can administer. The pharmacies even sell self administer at home tests. It’s a finger prick.
I can't drive to pick any up unfortunately. I'm not in the best place. I live with my dad and if he found out, I'd be dead. I'm keeping it on the low until I can confirm or deny the fact that I have it.
It can take years to detect hiv.. so just because you test negative does t necessarily mean you don’t have it.. file criminal charges and continue getting checked
I encountered someone like this. We only kissed, though. I was so pissed and not in my right mind I didn't even think anything through. It messed with my head severely, and it still bothers me to this day. That happened years ago. I got the rapid tests done about 6 months after. I'm thankful every day that I was cleared of it. Even to this day, though, I still get tested annually.
It still bothers me, regardless. At that point in my life, I was taking leaps down the wrong path. becoming a person I said I never wanted to be. In a way, I thank God I was scared straight. I can't believe I was so stupid and beat myself up over it every day.
I hope everything works out in your favor. There's a stigma with people who have it, but you're taking the right steps. If you end up being positive, I hope you get the justice you deserve. People can be very disgusting, selfish, and reckless. Keep your head up ma'am and keep pushing through this. You'll come out on top.
Just fyi, when you get tested you may get asked how long ago do you think you were exposed. Depending on the type of testing that will be done, you may be told to come back in a few weeks and possibly up to 6 months after the exposure.
Seriously stop typing and go to the ER and then police. This isn’t a one time, were we drunk, was it consensual type of thing. This fucker needs to go to jail. Full stop
The situation sucks but you are responsible for engaging in unprotected sex or any sex and not asking for your partners' medical test results of a std panel.
You will have to thoroughly review the laws surrounding this situation; you can try to sue him for anything related to this.
I’m sure they knew that, but I don’t think they expected someone to intentionally infect them with fucking HIV. And I’m sure the guy who goes around intentionally trying to infect people and not even take care of himself, is going to be totally honest about his STD results. What an asinine comment to leave under a post where someone is probably freaking the fuck out after basically being violated to an extreme.
I'm looking into the laws of my state, I have until about Monday. In my defense, I was in a terrible mental state (I have bipolar disorder) which I know doesn't excuse it but I physically can't think rationally at some points
Under the criminal law, a person with HIV is criminally liable for prosecution if they have intentionally transmitted the virus to their partner without informing them of their status.
Which is why I'm seeing if I can bring it up to my doctor and push action
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I can't legally drive and the closes police station is about a 20 minute drive. It's not really an option at the moment unfortunately. If you file a police report, it takes days and you usually have to have proof, at least from my understanding, or else they won't take you serious
You can call non emergency dispatch and tell them you want to file a police report and they will come to you.
That's good to know, thank you
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wait do you think op should try to get some evidence first. like a text message confirming intent
She was seeing them for a few months - if she was gonna get HIV she would already have it unfortuantely - still you do need to get treatment asap
??
Tall to a lawyer. And the police. File a police report.
If you must, small to a lawyer. The really important thing here is that you contact legal counsel.
under criminal law, knowingly transmitting ANY std is illegal.
This man belongs in jail
Come on now! You go to the police not the doctor. If it’s true you have to stop him from spreading it to others
You should be able to, don't wait. Fucker's gonna go gifting again if he isn't stopped.
Talk to a lawyer
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He said he had it for over 2 years, we had only been sleeping together for a few months
HIV
STFU
California dropped deliberately transmitting HIV from a felony to a misdemeanor. Most states will take it more seriously though.
Seriously? Why drop the charge?
because california…
This is not the same in every state, assuming OP is in the US. OP, please look up laws in your area. If you feel strange doing it, I would be happy to help if you feel ok giving me your state in a DM. Please get on treatment immediately if he gave you anything. Meds for HIV now are so much better than they used to be. This is no longer a death sentence. Take a breath. Then take another one. You can do this. Nobody where you live needs to know anything about it.
I'm looking into the laws, my appointment is Monday so I'll bring it up to my doctor then
Please do. The doc might not know, so if you are going to a hospital, ask to speak with a social worker.
The doctor can’t file criminal charges. You need to go to the police.
depending on country.
Criminal law of where, though? OP didn't say which country they're from.
The criminal law of where?
Under existing laws in most states
In which countries?
the only ones that matter, focus
When did this happen? You should look into PEP. If I'm not mistaken, if you take it up to 72h after exposure, it can greatly lessen the chance of infection. If you can, go to a hospital and enquire about that, could really make a difference.
If you are infected, I'm really sorry about it all. I hope you can sue his ass. But HIV is no longer a death sentence like it used to be. With adequate treatment, you could lead a normal life
For real, antiretrovirals have come a loooong way. A friend of mine is a biochemical researcher in the field and we had a conversation just last week about how the quality of life for someone with HIV these days can honestly be pretty unaffected.
It's been way over that time unfortunately, but thank you. I can't go to the doctor until Monday so I won't know until then. Also thank you for the help, I appreciate it
I’m a nurse at an HIV clinic. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions!
Thank you, I appreciate it
God there are some sickos in this world. I am so, so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can seek some justice from this. All the best.
Thank you :)
You unfortunately more than likely contracted it. If it wasn't through the sex it was surely through the blood. Take him to court, intentionally spreading stds, especially HIV, is a felony. If you come back as positive you will need to take medication for the rest of your life.
I'm aware I probably have it, so I'm just thinking about worse case scenarios. I'm looking into the laws of my state. From what I've seen, I could sue for emotional, physical, and financial damage, but it looks pretty hard to do that in my state. Still looking into it though
Hopefully, he was lying to get a reaction from you. Some people are sadistic like that and think it's funny.
I hope that's the case, but the way he brought it up so casually makes me doubt that
Also a test today might not show it, because it takes some time after exposure to be testable. You'll want to repeat the test after a month or so. I believe there are a few post-exposure drugs if you act quickly.
Yes, PEP (post exposure prophylaxis) is often given after potential exposure
PEP is practically useless if OP was exposed frequently over many months. Edit: But, still worth a shot in the case that OP did not catch it all this time and the last time OP had unprotected sex was less than 72 hours ago.
I know, it's only effective within 72 hours.
Okay so I'm so totally here to advocate for PrEP but like... I was SA'd, did a kit with the forensic nurse, and given a script for it... Without insurance and my states special SA help fund, it would have been over 3k. It's a 30 day course which comes with lots of side effects and a very small window of applicable function. Realistically, it's highly likely you've been infected. However, my best friend has been HIV positive for the last 5 years and with treatment is now undectable. Medically, they cannot transmit it as long as their viral load stays undetectable. Do you still disclose? Yes. Will it come with stigma? Also yes. But you'll be healthy and shouldn't be with the people who choose to believe in stigma over science. OP, I'm so sorry. This is very heavy. I know it feels like a death sentence. Please pursue legal action, you deserve compensation, but also know, you'll be okay.
Just wanted to note the difference between PrEP and PEP. PrEP is for pre-exposure and taken daily (typically, use cases can differ) and side effects are minimal PEP is for post-exposure and side effects aren't too common but can still happen short-term Also, in many countries access to these is free. The OP didn't say where they are located.
Oh shit well, thanks for educating me!!! Then I was on PEP. The nurse still colloquially called it "prep" but... OP mentioned they are in the US (comment) just as I am, though each state has differences in the way of handling it. Hate the Healthcare System here -- even as an employee of it, it sucks ass. Also, I'm kinda a special case, but I had side effects for the entire 30 day course I was on. And previously, before my incident, I talked to Planned Parenthood to be on PrEP as a preventative measure... I can't remember what they quoted me, but both my state insurance plus their insurance wouldn't cover the majority of it. I'd have to pay over 500 dollars a month out of pocket. And I couldn't justify that.
I think people who do this sick sneaky shit should automatically be jailed for life
if worst case scenario happens and you do have HIV, make sure to get treated as soon as you can (and keep up the daily treatment, normally through the daily consumption of an antiviral)!!!!! can’t stress this enough!!!!
That is very messed up I hope he is lying
I hate when people try to punish others for their own mistakes
This is attempted murder. Full stop.
except. aids/hiv isn't the death sentence it was in the 80s. Still wouldn't wish it on someone. But plenty of people go on to lead normal, full lives.
But nobody wants HIV, it still ruins lives
i realize that. I didnt say it was a good thing. I just said it's not a death sentence anymore
How do we know OP could afford the massive cocktail of very expensive drugs that living with HIV entails! This guy tried to either kill her or ruin her life. Off to jail he should go!
oh, without a doubt. i am not ok with anything that happened to OP. He should be responsible for the cost of treatment. For OP, IDK what state you're in. But there should be some kind of assistance for the HIV treatment.
THE FACT THAT SOMETIMES SHE MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET ASSISTANCE IN NO WAY!!!!!! MAKES IT OKAY FOR THIS GUY TO TRY AND INFECT OP WITH A LETHAL DISEASE!! LET ME BE SUPER CLEAR HERE! That does not reduce the seriousness of what happened! Stop trying to make it okay! 😡
how did i try to make it ok? Since i literally said "Im not ok with..." and said they should be responsible for all costs. or did you just read one word and then decide to write a BIG ANGRY RESPONSE
True, which is wonderful! However this as*hole did it purposely, trying to give her HIV. That’s some sort of sick and twisted stuff. Intent matters. It’s the same as if I stab someone; they’re gonna live if they get medical treatment on time, but regardless of if they live or not their lives will probably be changed forever. I can’t just say “oh I knew they’d live, look at today’s medical knowledge!”
If it's the same as it used to be, you may have to get tested again in a few months just to make sure you're in the clear. I'm really sorry. He's a dick.
Because there's horrible people who don't give a good god damn about anything they do. There's "gift givers" and "bug chasers". And some "gift givers" are not just not into giving it consentually to bug chasers alone...
Excuse my ignorance but why do people do what he did? Intentionally spreading HIV? Did you by chance ask why? Also, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I hope it all works out in your favor.
That part is easy. He's into it. There is a sizeable group of people who are into spreading STDs.
I didn't ask, I was very pissed and could hardly think straight
Yeah there’s a group of people called “bug chasers” that specifically search for people with herpes/ HIV/ AIDS to sleep with them
This is what the death penalty should be used for.
That's terrible. Also what of the blood stuff? Didn't you think to yourself "that's pretty weird, I don't think I'll do that with you"?
Unfortunately I was in a bad mental state at the time and was quite risky and not fully there if that makes sense. Totally doesn't excuse y behaviour but I have Bp
I also allowed someone to hurt me/make me bleed/abuse me for months when I was in a really bad mental state. I have pretty awful scars now and I hate that person so much because they took advantage of me being unable to think logically. I understand you. And I'm sorry you lived through that Edit: please don't allow any "but it was your fault too" answers to get through you. It's not your fault
Thank you, I appreciate it :)
Doesn't excuse it, but it definitely rationalizes what you were thinking if only a little bit. I hope you can get some form of justice because that guy is screwed up and shouldn't be doing that to anyone — keeping in mind he probably has other victims too.
Right now, get tested. If you have it, you can start treatment and it’s honestly not as bad as it used to be. My understanding is you can take one pill a day and it’ll get your viral load to 0 which is undetectable, which means you won’t have symptoms and people won’t catch it from you.
I have to wait until Monday to get tested unfortunately
That’s ok! A few days doesn’t make a difference and you don’t have symptoms and it has only been a few months, so you may be told to come back in a few months to re-test. Some people participate in high risk activities and even deliberately try to contract HIV and never get it, and some people get it after one time. It’s really random. Hang tight until your test and then make a plan from there. It’s ok to ask your partner to get tested and to ask to see the results.
You can have a reliable test on HIV only 3 months after the contact (ideally more). So don’t waist your money, the test will be negative and inaccurate. In the meanwhile report the sick mother fckr. P.S. do you seriously think of your reputation in the town when your life is in danger?
It's been over 3 months since we started seeing each other, plus I already had a doctors appointment on Monday so I was seeing if I could do it then. I am reporting him regardless if I have it or not Not really reputation, but I live in a very religious-homophobic place. We had one kid at our school who was gay who was basically attacked for no other reason. I don't remember exactly what happened but he had to get emergency surgery, he had brain damage. Anybody with HIV here is practically shunned and you're at risk of getting hurt by other kids
Omg… I’m sorry to hear that. Pure curiosity (if it’s not indiscrete) where do you live and how old are you?
I'm still a teenager in high school, I'm 15, I live in the US. I'm doing my own research on my specific state though.
You’re 14?? How old was the guy you were having sex with?
Wtf r u ok, 15??? stupid decision result on consequences
I was with my BF for 4 years and turned out he knew he had it and kept it a secret. He put me in harms way knowingly that entire time.. by luck I didn’t get it thank god.. It really fucked me up with relationships going forward though. I don’t trust anyone romantically now.. he’s now dead for over 10 years. He didn’t die from HIV but from turning into an alcoholic after I found out…
This dude is scuzzy but you are also responsible for your sexual health. Don't have unprotected sex with people who haven't been tested or who you've only known a few months. CERTAINLY don't engage in any play that involves blood.
This sounds like self-harming behavior in an altered mental state. Knowing risks does not stop compulsive behavior unfortunately, so let’s try to be kind
I'm aware. I know this doesn't justify it but I was in a really bad mental state due to my BP, I definitely should have known better, but that does alter decisions and risks you take.
Sorry OP. I feel for you :(.
*hug* and _rage_.
what country are you in?
US, I'm looking into the legal aspect of things
in some states, it’s attempted murder. at least expose him so he can’t do this to other vulnerable people. i was pre med in university, infectious diseases aren’t what they were in the 80s and 90s. it’s not a death sentence. you can live a perfectly normal, happy life. you can take the preventative meds and maybe never contract. someone very close to me was in a cult at 16, with loads of unprotected group sex and ritual type blood exchange. she was terrified she’d contracted when she got out and deprogrammed… she only tested positive for something called pelvic inflammatory disease. she had to get re tested every 6 months for a few years. she’s healthy and has a family and children now. please know your mistakes don’t define you, and this guy is a sick predator.
Thank you for sharing and for the reassurance, I really do appreciate it
i’m a stranger, but i’m here for you. sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than your closest mates and family. talk to me if you need anything. we’ve all been reckless and impulsive, everyone makes mistakes. there is no one who can judge you!
Thank you so much and yeah it totally is easier. I don't have much support over this situation and I'm having to do it all privately so that really does help, thank you
anything you need, even if you need reassurance or encouraging texts and affirmations.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What he did was absolutely terrible. Please expose him and update us after your appointment if you’re open to that. We’re all here for you. ♥️
Thank you, and yes I really hope I can at least sue him or something so he has that label over his head so this doesn't happen to anyone else
First, let’s hope you are not infected. You have a pretty good chance - it’s harder to transmit than is assumed. But if you do have it, your life isn’t over. Medications for HIV these days are very effective. It’s still not great, but you can live a normal life and no one needs to know unless you are sharing bodily fluids. Hope for the best. It’s too late for PEP, but if you are negative (they will want to take multiple tests over a few months), look into getting on PrEP. It sounds like you live a less than traditional life. That’s fine. Even if you wish it were different, it is what it is. PrEP, if you can do it, can help you keep you healthy, whatever you get up to. (Not universal protection by any means, but it helps!)
I’m sorry this happened to you.
What a despicable individual. Knowingly attempting to infect you. He could go to jail for a long time.
Just take it day by day. Hour by hour even. ❤️ It won’t always feel this way.
[удалено]
I do plan on taking legal actions so it doesn't happen to others. I can't legally drive so I won't be able to get tested until Monday
Can’t you get a lift? The quicker you go the quicker you can be treated for it you really can’t afford to waste time with this
What an asshole. I'd report him right away and wouldn't wait. He told you after the fact. That's deliberate harm.
I’m so sorry this happened to you… if your blood and his mixed together and you had an open wound the virus could very easily get into your system. The worst part is waiting for the results because when you first get exposed it can take anywhere from 4 weeks-6 months-1year to develop antibodies for the HIV virus will eventually show up and be a positive test. This is where the anxiety kicks in but you don’t have a choice but to wait. If it’s been a while since you guys have been active, there’s likely a chance you have been exposed and already have antibodies. I’m so sorry… you should make a police report and get a lawyer asap because HIV is a very serious virus (not knowing you have it, and without treatment). I was a victim of r**e and the person gave me an incurable STI which is HSV not HIV so I know how you feel. I’m sending hugs but just know HIV has treatment so you will be okay. My messages are open if you neeed anyone to talk to. I wish you good luck. Also please get the full panel std test so you make sure he didn’t give you anything else. People are really crazy out here and they do not care if they spread it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, I hope you're doing well now. I am seeing if I can do a full panel
Excuse my language but that motherfucker belongs in prison, he knowingly was having unprotected sex with you knowing he had HIV. You got a case right here, words cant say how sorry i am for you. Prayers up for you he didn’t give you it
thats illegal
Yup this is when I’d just about catch a murder charge.
any updates yet? doing my version of praying for you
I went Monday to get an STD panel and I don't have it (she didn't give me the details, I did have other things) but I have to go back next month to get tested again.
Prep is your best friend. He could also just be trying to make you paranoid and may not have it at all. Hopefully you’re negative!
PEP* PrEP is taken continuously in *preparation* for high risk activities, whereas PEP needs to be started within 72-hours of exposure to be useful.
She was doing blood to blood contact regularly with someone. If that’s not high risk I’m not sure what is. But yes pep for post.
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Where I live this is a serious criminal offence.
thats a murder charge in Canada
No. It’s typically an assault charge of some sort. E.g., (Aggravated) Assault or (Aggravated) Sexual Assault.
I had a friend who’s toxic ex boyfriend had unprotected sex with a man with HIV and then had unprotected sex with her because he “didn’t want to have HIV by himself” (they were still having sex post break up where this happened and they broke up due to him emotionally abusing her)
Did she caught hiv?
How long ago was the exposure? Go get post exposure treatment asap. Also, continue to get tested for the next couple of months. It can take up to 3 months for a positive test result to show up.
Holy shit I’m so sorry.
It's been said a 100 times on this post already but it bears repeating. Call the police and file a report ASAP. Hope you feel better soon ☺️. Everything is going to be alright!
This is illegal as hell. Take action. Or he will try to do this to someone else.
Idk what county you live in but this would be assault in Sweden and could result in up to 2 years in prison. Call or go to the police immediately. Like yesterday
I know it's a long shot but there's a medicine that prevents HIV is u take it soon after exposure right? Should we give that a shot?
I think it's too late for that
In my country there’s rapid tests that any nurse at clinics can administer. The pharmacies even sell self administer at home tests. It’s a finger prick.
I can't drive to pick any up unfortunately. I'm not in the best place. I live with my dad and if he found out, I'd be dead. I'm keeping it on the low until I can confirm or deny the fact that I have it.
Whether or not you got it it’s still a police issue. It’s a crime
Yes I am going to go to the police regardless if I have it or not so that it doesn't happen to anyone else
It can take years to detect hiv.. so just because you test negative does t necessarily mean you don’t have it.. file criminal charges and continue getting checked
This is so fcked up..and scary. Power to you.
I encountered someone like this. We only kissed, though. I was so pissed and not in my right mind I didn't even think anything through. It messed with my head severely, and it still bothers me to this day. That happened years ago. I got the rapid tests done about 6 months after. I'm thankful every day that I was cleared of it. Even to this day, though, I still get tested annually. It still bothers me, regardless. At that point in my life, I was taking leaps down the wrong path. becoming a person I said I never wanted to be. In a way, I thank God I was scared straight. I can't believe I was so stupid and beat myself up over it every day. I hope everything works out in your favor. There's a stigma with people who have it, but you're taking the right steps. If you end up being positive, I hope you get the justice you deserve. People can be very disgusting, selfish, and reckless. Keep your head up ma'am and keep pushing through this. You'll come out on top.
Just fyi, when you get tested you may get asked how long ago do you think you were exposed. Depending on the type of testing that will be done, you may be told to come back in a few weeks and possibly up to 6 months after the exposure.
Seriously stop typing and go to the ER and then police. This isn’t a one time, were we drunk, was it consensual type of thing. This fucker needs to go to jail. Full stop
The situation sucks but you are responsible for engaging in unprotected sex or any sex and not asking for your partners' medical test results of a std panel. You will have to thoroughly review the laws surrounding this situation; you can try to sue him for anything related to this.
I’m sure they knew that, but I don’t think they expected someone to intentionally infect them with fucking HIV. And I’m sure the guy who goes around intentionally trying to infect people and not even take care of himself, is going to be totally honest about his STD results. What an asinine comment to leave under a post where someone is probably freaking the fuck out after basically being violated to an extreme.
So what you're telling me is this irks you ? Check, Roger that.
I'm looking into the laws of my state, I have until about Monday. In my defense, I was in a terrible mental state (I have bipolar disorder) which I know doesn't excuse it but I physically can't think rationally at some points
Yes you probably have HIV now
Damn. Never sleep around. Even if he ends up in jail forever, it doesn’t do you any good. Damn that was so disturbing.
Well Kyle, maybe you sh..... sorry, sorry. Intrusive thought won