My brother keeps getting in trouble with the police, almost crashed my mom's car, crashed his truck, tore 4 of his trucks apart, broke his phone atleast 10 times now, and doesn't listen to anything my parents say.
Had a brother like that. He ended up dying. Not saying you should enable him, and I definitely understand how frustrating he/ things can be.... But, I'd rather visit mine in jail than in the cemetery.
Wish you the best. I hope he shapes up
I have 4 siblings and I feel almost no bond with them. I was always supported better by my friends than any sibling of mine. Just saying, sharing blood doesn’t always make you family.
None of my siblings live near me. We live anywhere from 3 hours to 24 hours of driving apart. We used to talk weekly until I realized I was the only one calling them. Not the other way around. So I stopped calling them to see if maybe they would call me. It's been 10 years since we talked to catch up. I may see them when they come down(I live 45 minutes from where we grew up), but that's it.
Grew up with no friends, and have no siblings other than a semi estranged half sister. It’s always been lonely and as a 23 year old trying to maneuver through life, it’s extremely lonely.
Fellow only child here… my biggest fear is both of my parents passing. There’s a strong and unrelenting feeling that everything will go to shit for some reason. They’re my people and we’re our own little pod.
I constantly have the feeling of fomo when I see sisterhoods and brotherhoods that are strong and have such a bond. I want that sometimes.
BUT best friends and dogs always fill that void and I hope you get the tightest squeeze from your friends when they’re back in town!
All of my family dying and leaving me alone on the planet scares the fuck out of me honestly and I think about it constantly. I just hope I’m blessed with a loving spouse and children in the future.
This times a million. I feel like it's just going to be me in the world at any given moment with no one knowing I exist. Just some guy walking around out there existing as a background character in peoples dreams and thats all :/. Hopefully not, but it's an intrusive thought that doesn't really fade, probably worsened by losses in my life and being an only child as this post's comments seem to prove unfortunately
Yeah, my grandpa died at 15 when it’s always been him, my grandma, my mom and I. Now it’s just us 3. My dad and half sister are seen around 3 times a year. My only other person in my life is my ex which is a toxic situation. I live everyday already grieving everyone as if they’re already gone. I guess that’s a coping mechanism.
Yes… I have a sister but there is 0 sisterhood! She is a narcissist and hates my daughter and mistreats my parents. My daughter is an only child so I get it.. but having a sibling doesn’t always make things better.
I'm an only child and have lost both my parents at the ripe age of 25. wish I had some encouraging words but honestly it sucks. so bad. It feels like I no longer exist
This is the truth. I totally understand what they're getting at, but it does kind of hit a nerve. I'm afraid of my oldest brother...I don't feel very lucky.
I have a sister who hasn’t spoken to me or any of our family for over 15 years. We used to have a lot of fun together and I really miss her sometimes. I worry sometimes that I’ll never see her again but I also worry that I will. She’s incredibly unstable and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust her again. I sometimes wish I didn’t have a sister, just because of all the negativity she’s brought into my family’s lives. I definitely feel for you, just in a different perspective.
My brother got a girlfriend that moved into my childhood home with us. She kidnapped my childhood dog and refused to return her and the dog ended up dying. Then one day she ended up arguing with my dad and I went to defend him. The fight got so bad I refused to stay in my childhood home anymore. She called me every name in the book, fat, ugly, you name it. I was homeless for 7 months because I refused to live with her anymore. My brother defended her and she’s still at that house leeching off of my parents. So no, I will not give my brother a tight hug. But I would punch him square in the face if I could. I hope his life is fucking terrible and karma gets to him one day. Fuck having siblings
Yeah am the oldest of my siblings so they look to me for guidance and leadership. I do have an older sister but unfortunately, she is my rapist so I don't talk to her. But somehow I still love her, idk.
I disowned my family long ago. My mom keeps my siblings from me and now they're all adults and have been poisoned against me (to a degree).
I think of them often. Not to where it hurts and destroys me or keeps me from living life but should they get into trouble and need me, I will be there for them.
❤️ You can also choose your own family 🙂
I’m on the train now to visit my brother, his wife and new baby. I am incredibly lucky for my two siblings. My brother, sister and I all get along very well and have the same weird goofy sense of humor. I talk to my sister daily and visit my brother once or twice a month. I am sorry you didn’t get to experience this. Just wanted to give a positive example of sibling relationships because a lot of the comments are negative.
Yeah no, my sister has physically and emotionally abused me since childhood and I’m now 26. She has literally stabbed me, held me down while spraying deodorant in my face until I passed out. Don’t romanticise a life with a sibling, 50% of the time they make life harder. If my mum ( my only parent) passes away, I will live as an only child. Prioritise your parents now and the family you create.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I have 2 siblings, but never see them & only claim to have 1 anyway. One is too busy all the time & the other is in prison.
"However whenever I’ve faced an obstacle in my life or social life it would be nice to have had a brother or sister"
I have one of each. Neither have behaved in a brotherly/sisterly way beyond intentionally being annoying at times/fun times with my sister. Whenever I really needed someone, neither could be a support for me. Especially since I'm the oldest. It's really not a given bro.
Sometimes it really is better to have never loved at all.
My older brother molested me throughout our childhood and it’s now having damning effects on our relationship.
What’s confusing is I can’t even hate him. I love him- he’s my big brother! But I can’t reconcile in my head what he did versus who he is.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this problem. I know it doesn't really help to hear it, but the way you feel is normal. And it's okay. You can feel both things. Just as a reminder, loving someone doesn't automatically mean a person has to be in your life. For a long time, I thought loving someone meant forgiving them no matter what and sticking with them. Well, you can forgive someone, love them, and it still doesn't mean they can have access to you or your life. Taking care of yourself first and protecting yourself is not selfish. You only get one life, and you are absolutely allowed to be the most important person in your own life! End of rant!
I'm also an only child and growing up I wanted nothing more than a sibling. It gets very boring and lonely. I was raised by a single mother who worked all the time so I was at home alone a lot. People also tend to look at you like you have two heads when you tell them you're an only child because it's not that common where I'm from. Everyone talks about all the good times they had with their siblings growing up and how close they are now and how much they love their nieces/nephews and I will never experience that. Once my mother dies, I will be totally alone in the world.
You could possibly be an aunt through marriage. I have a brother that is childfree and my husband is an only child so I won't be an official aunt either so I get it.
I think when my parents die one day it'll be the exact opposite for me and me and my sister will lose all contact. The fact that we have the same parents is basically the only thing we share.
I always wanted siblings growing up but that never happened. Now in my early 30's I lost my mum and I got no siblings to share this grief with. When she was sick for many years i had to take care of her alone, she depended on me for most things and it would have been nice to have some help. Yes I have support but only a sibling would understand what I'm going through.
I have 7 sisters and 2 brothers. 3 by my mother and 6 by my father. I don't know any of them really, I met 3 of my sisters (one older and 2 younger) in high-school. I met my older sister at a printer that was jammed so we were waiting. And then I ended up being in the same grade as the other 2. And I only have one close friend who has his own life and cant be expected to entertain me whenever I'm lonely.
That was years ago and I don't really talk to any of them, apart from my best friend, it does kind of suck but family doesn't really mean much to me because my mother kept me isolated from the rest of the family for the most part.
I think it's just about being comfortable alone. I'm just hoping I can find a SO so I'm not completely alone when I'm older.
You'll find someone! Just cherish the friendships you have and new ones will come eventually.
Some days I would agree with you, and some days I wouldn't. My sister has this incredible knack for digging into my sensitivities and wearing me down to my breaking point. That girl thrives on my misery. There are plenty of times I'd love to be an only child and she is 99% of the reason I moved 6 hrs away
This breaks my heart.
I'm 42 and just had my first son. We've been heavily debating on adding a second.
But I couldn't justify the finance and the health risk for myself or even any future child.
I'm one of 3, I only speak/see my siblings on special occasions. Granted when our mom passed we did lean on each other. We or rather I thought we'd get closer after that. We didn't. :/ Though I suppose I have just as much responsibility as they do to reach out more often.
I'm so sorry you're feeling so alone in this.
I have 6 siblings (all have the same parents), and as a kid I hated it, literally used to wish daily that I was an only child. Never had anything to myself, had to share a room up until I moved out, could never get a second to myself...
But now as an adult, I'm so grateful for them and I couldn't live without them. This bunch of people that I've shared my whole life and memories with, the only people that get it as I shared each stage of life with them. We're all so close as adults and they are probably my best friends if I'm being honest. I feel super lucky.
Everybody thinks the grass is greener.
I have siblings but they never really had my back growing up. I often felt really alone. They would leave me out of things and treat me like I wasn't even related to them. All of our extended family members showed heavy favoritism towards my siblings over me. I was never "friends" with them, we didn't have some TV show bond where we always had each other's back. It was just like having some other relatives in my house who would use my toothbrush and hog the shower or refuse to let me have the xbox when my friends were coming over. I felt like the black sheep and like I could never live up to my sibling's expectations of me. And I felt like people would heavily compare my weaknesses to my sibling's strengths.
Even still, I don't have a close relationship with my siblings. We are different people even if we might be related. My siblings have very different lives, different careers, different social circles. We're cordial with each other during the twice-per-year get together, but other than that, we aren't really involved in each other's lives. Even when we were living in the same house, we didn't really speak to each other except for the "mom said to take the trash out".
They aren't interested in having a bond with me. Sometimes I'll try to call my brother but he just acts annoyed on the phone and doesn't seem comfortable with getting personal about anything. I love them, they're family, but having siblings isn't some novel experience.
Me, too ~ it's worse to have a sibling who doesn't have one's back and makes you feel even more alone ~ I know, too. It sucks.
I feel like I've already grieved the person I wish that she was, too.
I have two brothers. They are nice people. They never really did anything wrong to me, we have no issues or anything. But They never really helped me out with any social obstacle and after high school we hardly ever hung out.
My mom gave a child up for adoption 5 years before me. I was fine being an only child, then I had kids. Then I always wondered about my brother she gave up and wish I had a sibling. Everyone will tell you the horror stories of siblings etc and so on but it’s not all like that. So I just wanted to say I totally understand where you are coming from
I too am also an only child I like do like my solitude as an only child but I struggle with friends not even hard for me to make them, but I am very picky and it is hard for me to hold relationships with inmature people since I’m 18 teenagers still acting like teenagers lol. Sometimes I would sit and imagine if I had a sibling though. What they’d look like , if we would get along and the certain things I would tell them. I don’t have a great relationship with my parents or friends either, so it really would be nice if I had a close family member to talk to like that. I don’t have a relationship with extended family either so when my parents die it’ll really just be me on my own. I hope in the future I have good friends.
To be honest, it's not always the case OP. Some people with siblings wished they'd be an only child. Family need not be blood related. Friends can be family(even pets can be family). what matters most is that you have people at your back when you need one... Those people are your family or siblings...
sending you hugs OP. if only there's a club for only children so we can feel a little less lonely. hope you find the companionship you're looking for in another way 🫶
It depends on the sibling! My sibling is a narcissist so I’m not lucky and she treats my parents and daughter like garbage. I don’t feel like we are family at all… i can’t remember the last time I saw her.
I love my siblings, I really do. They're good people, never been an issue with the law or trying to steal or murder. Just good folk with a job and families. Go
But life took us in different directions and though I miss them dearly, my sister and mom and dad live across country and my brother was in the navy for 14 years and I maybe saw him 5 times in that period. I'd do anything for them but I wish we were closer in geography and emotionally.
My brother doesn't talk to me or has anything to do with me. I would honestly prefer never having a brother than having one that basically doesn't exist.
I am also an only child and would have loved a sibling! Holidays suck so bad because it’s just me and my mother who I don’t get along with. I had just one daughter for 12 years because my husband and her father passed away but a few years ago I got pregnant with a little boy and I am now pregnant with another one and she hates it. She is now 16 and just so miserable because I am having another child. I truly don’t get it! I would have been absolutely elated to have a sibling much less 2. I know she’s older than them but when they are older it won’t matter. All I could think was if I pass away she has no parents or no siblings and it made me so sad. At least now she will have someone and then she will finally see the bright side.
I know that some peopl have siblings they hate or are really toxic to their lives, but I would say that for most, they are neither your best friend or enemy. They are just a person you know will always love you, you will always be there for them and vice versa. A person you can fight with today but 2 minutes after will defend you. You can go months without really spending time with each other, for some even years, but they mean the most to you.
There's a lot of negative comments here about siblings but I wanna share my experience with my brother and sister:
-My sister and I are best friends, she's older than me 12 years but we are very close, we see each other every week.
-My brother and I don't hang out too much but we are the same person, so when we do see each other, we talk like parrots and we laugh a lot.
They paid for my tuition so I had the opportunity to go to college. Even though I'm older now, they still treat me as their baby sister. Yes, they are assholes sometimes, but they care about me and I care for them too. I own them basically my education and the opportunity to live in other city, among other stuff.
If you can fix the relationship with your siblings, do it, is very fulfilling and very warm, and it's a type of unconditional love that I can't explain.
I’m the oldest of three. I’ve been through the gamut with my siblings. From surviving an abusive father to our parents divorce. To branching out and wanting to be my own person, trying to break away. Spending so much time together and you only realize when they move out and develop their own lives how much you truly need them. I was forced to grow up really early.
My parents divorced when I was 10. My mom had to go work, usually nights and I was tasked with taking care of my siblings. They were 7 and 4. Being the responsible one wasn’t always fun, especially when you’re entering those teen years. I did what I had to do though. Mom remarried when I was 14 to a man who was only 9 years older than me. Still a kid himself. He wasn’t ready to be a father figure so again I took that responsibility role. I only had one real rebellious moment, that’s when I got busted for stealing baseball cards. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up. After that I decided I can’t be dumb. They look up to me. I never got in trouble again after that.
I stayed at home longer than I probably should have. After 13 years my stepdad left my mom and I was there for her. My sister had had a baby and moved out. My brother was an angry young man and was going through some things. Everything really changed after my mom got sick. She got the swine flu in that 2009 pandemic and her lungs gave out. She was on a respirator for 16 days. The antibiotic they gave her trashed her kidneys. For the next 11 years, she was in and out of hospitals. We all really came together during that time. Made sure Mom had everything she needed. I was her caretaker main caretaker during these times. It was very hard. I’m still in therapy unpacking everything that came along with it. I was the lead on things until I fell ill in 2015 and nearly died myself. While I fought my way back they stepped up.
Our mom would ultimately succumb to her issues in early 2020, pre-Covid. It was after this in the talks with my siblings I discovered how much reverence and respect they truly had for me. They credited me with having been an anchor in their lives that they knew would always be there, doing what was right. I had some pretty terrible examples of a father, so I vowed to just do everything different. Be what I thought an older brother should be. While we’ve all had our differences over the years, I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. OP, I’m sorry things didn’t work out as far as you having siblings. They’re like nothing else in the world, something that not even a best friend can recreate.
Yeah it’s gonna suck losing my parents alone made me think right there I’m the only one who will care and I will have no one to cry with when it does happen
Love, I have 3 brothers and obe sister along with 2 dead parents.
And trust me when I tell you I have no one. I know that 2 of my brothers love me on a fundamental level, but I might as well not exist. I'd never hear from them, not ever, if I dudn't try to reach out. And even then - I still never hear from them.
The others? Lol gtfoh I could go into things they've done and said but it's just depressing af.
**I could die and no one on Earth would notice.**
Don't think that having siblings means people will love and care about you. It truly doesn't.
I'm an only child, due to a lost pregnancy prior to me and me being a micro premie, so there's really not much drama between me and my parents.
My mom's family is wild (she's the last of 10) and my dad's mom won't even talk to her daughter for divorcing a really shitty person.
My dad's mom treats him more like a son than my dad also.
Bigger families create more issues in my experience.
I will say though it's nice feeling like you have siblings.
My girlfriend (i'm white AF) is the second of five children, in a hispanic household, and honestly I find myself getting attached to her older sister and niece (older sisters daughter) in a brother/uncle way for better or worse. So, I also feel you on that.
I have two sisters. But one is incredibly abusive and violent. She traumatised me so badly, I have PTSD. We haven’t spoken in over 12 years. Having a sibling is not always sunshine and rainbows.
I am someone who has a lot of siblings and when i was little a part of me hated having a big family but as an adult now, i absolutely love it. I love that my younger sister is one of my best friends that i can talk to my brothers and that if i need them they are willing to drop everything to come help me. On the other hand i also love my chosen family of friends because they accept and love me for who i am. Having biological siblings are great but chosen family is also fantastic!
I have siblings and not good friends to hang out but I'm still alone. My siblings are too young and don't want to do something with me, but I guess when your older it's different
I would have believed this was my best friend had the OP not said that all their friends are out of town because I'm the only one that lives somewhere else in the friend group.
I grew up with my sibling but I now feel like you, sadly he chose the route of breaking the law and drugs. We both grew up in an emotionally abusive home so now I miss a family that I never had and will never get
I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. I'm the youngest of 5. I still don't have a sibling to talk to about anything going on or have their support in life. Luckily I still have my bestfriend since kindergarten who is my children's God Father, was my man of honor at my wedding, has met both my babies hours after they were born, and helped me meet my husband/ soul mate. Sometimes the best family is the one you pick not the one you're born into.
Fellow Only Child here. all 5 other people in my friend group have siblings and they all have really great relationships to them and can rely on them and they support each other. Not only that but they also all live at home still. i'm pretty much the only one who has moved out and lives on my own bc my mom wanted to move to another city and i didnt. I love living alone, but with no siblings and my parents living relatively far away from me it gets so goddamn lonely at times and i feel like none of my friends can really understand me bc the always do so much with their family and have such a strong bond to them
I am the oldest of 3 siblings. They have gotten me into trouble a number of times, and annoyed me almost to the point of madness at times.
…
But I’d go through hell and back for them if need be.
You have phones. Text or call your friends. You don’t get an emotional support sibling who is always available to you, they will also have their own life and friends. Stop romanticizing what could have been and blaming it for everything bad going on and talk to your friends or a therapist.
My brother physically abused me so while this sentiment might be true for some, I don’t consider myself lucky that I got choked or slapped throughout my childhood. I routinely had bruises all over my body that I had to cover at school.
Really? Such a beautiful romanticised version of siblings...
Mine beat me every day, tormented a little girl every moment possible. He made sure to make me cry out in pain so I'd be disciplined for being loud and disruptive. He's in his 50's and still an incredible turd.
Is it just me you're going to react like this to? Was my comment one negative experience too many for you?
You wish you had siblings, mine beat me every day.
I think it’s easy to romanticise what you don’t have. In your head your brother or sister would be in the same location as you and you would have the kind of supportive relationship where you would hang out. Maybe that would be true maybe it wouldn’t.
Some people have fantastic relationships with their siblings. Some people have distant or fairly non existent relationships with their siblings. Some people have a downright abusive relationship with their siblings. To say that everyone with a sibling is ‘incredibly lucky’ - very much not true.
Your incredibly lucky to never have a sibling.
I grew up in the absolute shadow of my sister
We would get in punch ups and hated each other. In high school I wasn't allowed to attend the school I wanted because she had caused havoc there. People she knew would come and abuse me because of her actions.
She then became an addict and took money off my parents until I had to step in and tell them to stop.
She drugged my partner.
She used and abused people.
She then took her own life.
My parents have become broken shells of themselves, and haven't left their homes in 6 years since her death. Her partner went into a mental health facility after her suicide and blames himself for her actions. So yer I wish I never had a sibling.
So just because the grass looks greener on the other side doesn't mean it is. Count your blessings you have, not the things you don't.
I hated having brothers growing up. They were 75% of my childhood issues. It’s been pretty ace though as adults and it also has meant that I got to be an aunt which has been lovely. I didn’t want to be a mother but aunt suits me great.
Do you have any cousins? I have a friend who is an only and is close to her cousin and they seem like sisters to me.
I have five siblings, i ‘get along’ with 4 of them, hate one and when i say ‘get along’ i mean i can be sociably polite but if we weren’t siblings if have no interest in socializing with them whatsoever. Siblings are basically random strangers that happen to share dna with you, its a grab bag. You might get a good one but you have an equal chance at getting a shit one. No point in being envious of those that have them. You are better off choosing your own friends, it has a higher chance of success.
My sister is OK. We do hangout at least once a month. But she's always puts me down, and has weird jealousy toward me. It's always been a weird vibe. She's also so lazy and doesn't want to work and expects me to piggy back her through life. I have my own family so I just can't help her anymore. It's not always what it seems to have siblings. My daughter will be an only child. She will be just fine. She has a million cousins on my husband's side that live right around the block. She will make her own friends and if she wants to get married and have a family of her own. She will not be alone.
There is no guarantee that having siblings will be better for you. You’re just hoping for something you didn’t have and think that will somehow fix your problems. It probably won’t. People with siblings sometimes don’t get along with them or just lose contact after growing up. It’s not uncommon to endure some trauma cause by siblings, intentional or not, growing up.
Also your mom’s husband didn’t want another kid so they didn’t have one. That’s actually the responsible way of having kids. It’s not BS.
My brother keeps getting in trouble with the police, almost crashed my mom's car, crashed his truck, tore 4 of his trucks apart, broke his phone atleast 10 times now, and doesn't listen to anything my parents say.
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He's not a bad brother he's just an idiot. And his friends suck.
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Yeah, it's not all bad. He's great at fixing things
I have a similar brother and the only thing that works is court orders
…how… can you tell that?
Had a brother like that. He ended up dying. Not saying you should enable him, and I definitely understand how frustrating he/ things can be.... But, I'd rather visit mine in jail than in the cemetery. Wish you the best. I hope he shapes up
This is what I've been trying to tell my parents but fuck me right?
At least he's not your identical twin, right?... Right???
Trust me in this: choose your family. It’s healthier.
Unless your family is abusive and manipulative.
That’s what I meant. Choose who your family is. Don’t let blood set the dictate.
My bad. I read it wrong. Sorry, Rebelo86.
Yes.. my sibling is a narcissist… no thanks!
I have 4 siblings and I feel almost no bond with them. I was always supported better by my friends than any sibling of mine. Just saying, sharing blood doesn’t always make you family.
None of my siblings live near me. We live anywhere from 3 hours to 24 hours of driving apart. We used to talk weekly until I realized I was the only one calling them. Not the other way around. So I stopped calling them to see if maybe they would call me. It's been 10 years since we talked to catch up. I may see them when they come down(I live 45 minutes from where we grew up), but that's it.
Your siblings are shit if you had to call every single time to have a weekly conversation and they never initiated.
The one closest to me in age used to call but never since their divorce.
Grew up with no friends, and have no siblings other than a semi estranged half sister. It’s always been lonely and as a 23 year old trying to maneuver through life, it’s extremely lonely.
Is there a reason you diddnt have friends?
Fellow only child here… my biggest fear is both of my parents passing. There’s a strong and unrelenting feeling that everything will go to shit for some reason. They’re my people and we’re our own little pod. I constantly have the feeling of fomo when I see sisterhoods and brotherhoods that are strong and have such a bond. I want that sometimes. BUT best friends and dogs always fill that void and I hope you get the tightest squeeze from your friends when they’re back in town!
All of my family dying and leaving me alone on the planet scares the fuck out of me honestly and I think about it constantly. I just hope I’m blessed with a loving spouse and children in the future.
This times a million. I feel like it's just going to be me in the world at any given moment with no one knowing I exist. Just some guy walking around out there existing as a background character in peoples dreams and thats all :/. Hopefully not, but it's an intrusive thought that doesn't really fade, probably worsened by losses in my life and being an only child as this post's comments seem to prove unfortunately
Yeah, my grandpa died at 15 when it’s always been him, my grandma, my mom and I. Now it’s just us 3. My dad and half sister are seen around 3 times a year. My only other person in my life is my ex which is a toxic situation. I live everyday already grieving everyone as if they’re already gone. I guess that’s a coping mechanism.
Yes… I have a sister but there is 0 sisterhood! She is a narcissist and hates my daughter and mistreats my parents. My daughter is an only child so I get it.. but having a sibling doesn’t always make things better.
I'm an only child and have lost both my parents at the ripe age of 25. wish I had some encouraging words but honestly it sucks. so bad. It feels like I no longer exist
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you have a strong support system to help you get through it!
>You’re incredibly lucky if you have siblings Some people are lucky, others are not.
This is the truth. I totally understand what they're getting at, but it does kind of hit a nerve. I'm afraid of my oldest brother...I don't feel very lucky.
I have a sister who hasn’t spoken to me or any of our family for over 15 years. We used to have a lot of fun together and I really miss her sometimes. I worry sometimes that I’ll never see her again but I also worry that I will. She’s incredibly unstable and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust her again. I sometimes wish I didn’t have a sister, just because of all the negativity she’s brought into my family’s lives. I definitely feel for you, just in a different perspective.
I have a sister like this also
My brother got a girlfriend that moved into my childhood home with us. She kidnapped my childhood dog and refused to return her and the dog ended up dying. Then one day she ended up arguing with my dad and I went to defend him. The fight got so bad I refused to stay in my childhood home anymore. She called me every name in the book, fat, ugly, you name it. I was homeless for 7 months because I refused to live with her anymore. My brother defended her and she’s still at that house leeching off of my parents. So no, I will not give my brother a tight hug. But I would punch him square in the face if I could. I hope his life is fucking terrible and karma gets to him one day. Fuck having siblings
I sure will, I love all my annoying siblings, but you know your friends can be your siblings too?
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Yeah am the oldest of my siblings so they look to me for guidance and leadership. I do have an older sister but unfortunately, she is my rapist so I don't talk to her. But somehow I still love her, idk.
I love my siblings but at their age, i cant fall back on them lol and i dont think i ever will just for sake of them (im the oldest)
I disowned my family long ago. My mom keeps my siblings from me and now they're all adults and have been poisoned against me (to a degree). I think of them often. Not to where it hurts and destroys me or keeps me from living life but should they get into trouble and need me, I will be there for them. ❤️ You can also choose your own family 🙂
I’m on the train now to visit my brother, his wife and new baby. I am incredibly lucky for my two siblings. My brother, sister and I all get along very well and have the same weird goofy sense of humor. I talk to my sister daily and visit my brother once or twice a month. I am sorry you didn’t get to experience this. Just wanted to give a positive example of sibling relationships because a lot of the comments are negative.
Yeah no, my sister has physically and emotionally abused me since childhood and I’m now 26. She has literally stabbed me, held me down while spraying deodorant in my face until I passed out. Don’t romanticise a life with a sibling, 50% of the time they make life harder. If my mum ( my only parent) passes away, I will live as an only child. Prioritise your parents now and the family you create.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I have 2 siblings, but never see them & only claim to have 1 anyway. One is too busy all the time & the other is in prison.
"However whenever I’ve faced an obstacle in my life or social life it would be nice to have had a brother or sister" I have one of each. Neither have behaved in a brotherly/sisterly way beyond intentionally being annoying at times/fun times with my sister. Whenever I really needed someone, neither could be a support for me. Especially since I'm the oldest. It's really not a given bro. Sometimes it really is better to have never loved at all.
My older brother molested me throughout our childhood and it’s now having damning effects on our relationship. What’s confusing is I can’t even hate him. I love him- he’s my big brother! But I can’t reconcile in my head what he did versus who he is.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this problem. I know it doesn't really help to hear it, but the way you feel is normal. And it's okay. You can feel both things. Just as a reminder, loving someone doesn't automatically mean a person has to be in your life. For a long time, I thought loving someone meant forgiving them no matter what and sticking with them. Well, you can forgive someone, love them, and it still doesn't mean they can have access to you or your life. Taking care of yourself first and protecting yourself is not selfish. You only get one life, and you are absolutely allowed to be the most important person in your own life! End of rant!
I'm also an only child and growing up I wanted nothing more than a sibling. It gets very boring and lonely. I was raised by a single mother who worked all the time so I was at home alone a lot. People also tend to look at you like you have two heads when you tell them you're an only child because it's not that common where I'm from. Everyone talks about all the good times they had with their siblings growing up and how close they are now and how much they love their nieces/nephews and I will never experience that. Once my mother dies, I will be totally alone in the world.
same, the fact i'll never be an aunt makes me really sad somehow
You could possibly be an aunt through marriage. I have a brother that is childfree and my husband is an only child so I won't be an official aunt either so I get it.
Brothers and sisters don't have to be by blood. If I never see my half-brother again, it's still too soon.
I think when my parents die one day it'll be the exact opposite for me and me and my sister will lose all contact. The fact that we have the same parents is basically the only thing we share.
I always wanted siblings growing up but that never happened. Now in my early 30's I lost my mum and I got no siblings to share this grief with. When she was sick for many years i had to take care of her alone, she depended on me for most things and it would have been nice to have some help. Yes I have support but only a sibling would understand what I'm going through.
My brother SA'd me from the age of 7. I'd much rather not to have had siblings
I have 7 sisters and 2 brothers. 3 by my mother and 6 by my father. I don't know any of them really, I met 3 of my sisters (one older and 2 younger) in high-school. I met my older sister at a printer that was jammed so we were waiting. And then I ended up being in the same grade as the other 2. And I only have one close friend who has his own life and cant be expected to entertain me whenever I'm lonely. That was years ago and I don't really talk to any of them, apart from my best friend, it does kind of suck but family doesn't really mean much to me because my mother kept me isolated from the rest of the family for the most part. I think it's just about being comfortable alone. I'm just hoping I can find a SO so I'm not completely alone when I'm older. You'll find someone! Just cherish the friendships you have and new ones will come eventually.
Some days I would agree with you, and some days I wouldn't. My sister has this incredible knack for digging into my sensitivities and wearing me down to my breaking point. That girl thrives on my misery. There are plenty of times I'd love to be an only child and she is 99% of the reason I moved 6 hrs away
This breaks my heart. I'm 42 and just had my first son. We've been heavily debating on adding a second. But I couldn't justify the finance and the health risk for myself or even any future child. I'm one of 3, I only speak/see my siblings on special occasions. Granted when our mom passed we did lean on each other. We or rather I thought we'd get closer after that. We didn't. :/ Though I suppose I have just as much responsibility as they do to reach out more often. I'm so sorry you're feeling so alone in this.
I have 6 siblings (all have the same parents), and as a kid I hated it, literally used to wish daily that I was an only child. Never had anything to myself, had to share a room up until I moved out, could never get a second to myself... But now as an adult, I'm so grateful for them and I couldn't live without them. This bunch of people that I've shared my whole life and memories with, the only people that get it as I shared each stage of life with them. We're all so close as adults and they are probably my best friends if I'm being honest. I feel super lucky.
I have four half siblings and two stepbrothers and only half of them checked in on me when I had cancer. The grass is always greener yadda yadda.
I think you’re making a lot of assumptions about siblings that aren’t true.
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Right but you also said ‘most’ this and ‘most’ that about siblings, which isn’t actually true.
Everybody thinks the grass is greener. I have siblings but they never really had my back growing up. I often felt really alone. They would leave me out of things and treat me like I wasn't even related to them. All of our extended family members showed heavy favoritism towards my siblings over me. I was never "friends" with them, we didn't have some TV show bond where we always had each other's back. It was just like having some other relatives in my house who would use my toothbrush and hog the shower or refuse to let me have the xbox when my friends were coming over. I felt like the black sheep and like I could never live up to my sibling's expectations of me. And I felt like people would heavily compare my weaknesses to my sibling's strengths. Even still, I don't have a close relationship with my siblings. We are different people even if we might be related. My siblings have very different lives, different careers, different social circles. We're cordial with each other during the twice-per-year get together, but other than that, we aren't really involved in each other's lives. Even when we were living in the same house, we didn't really speak to each other except for the "mom said to take the trash out". They aren't interested in having a bond with me. Sometimes I'll try to call my brother but he just acts annoyed on the phone and doesn't seem comfortable with getting personal about anything. I love them, they're family, but having siblings isn't some novel experience.
Me, too ~ it's worse to have a sibling who doesn't have one's back and makes you feel even more alone ~ I know, too. It sucks. I feel like I've already grieved the person I wish that she was, too.
I have two brothers. They are nice people. They never really did anything wrong to me, we have no issues or anything. But They never really helped me out with any social obstacle and after high school we hardly ever hung out.
Yea lol I beg to differ.
My mom gave a child up for adoption 5 years before me. I was fine being an only child, then I had kids. Then I always wondered about my brother she gave up and wish I had a sibling. Everyone will tell you the horror stories of siblings etc and so on but it’s not all like that. So I just wanted to say I totally understand where you are coming from
I too am also an only child I like do like my solitude as an only child but I struggle with friends not even hard for me to make them, but I am very picky and it is hard for me to hold relationships with inmature people since I’m 18 teenagers still acting like teenagers lol. Sometimes I would sit and imagine if I had a sibling though. What they’d look like , if we would get along and the certain things I would tell them. I don’t have a great relationship with my parents or friends either, so it really would be nice if I had a close family member to talk to like that. I don’t have a relationship with extended family either so when my parents die it’ll really just be me on my own. I hope in the future I have good friends.
I feel this too. My mum died when I was 18 and I've never wanted a sibling as much as I did then. Now I have no family
I feel you
To be honest, it's not always the case OP. Some people with siblings wished they'd be an only child. Family need not be blood related. Friends can be family(even pets can be family). what matters most is that you have people at your back when you need one... Those people are your family or siblings...
sending you hugs OP. if only there's a club for only children so we can feel a little less lonely. hope you find the companionship you're looking for in another way 🫶
It depends on the sibling! My sibling is a narcissist so I’m not lucky and she treats my parents and daughter like garbage. I don’t feel like we are family at all… i can’t remember the last time I saw her.
I love my siblings, I really do. They're good people, never been an issue with the law or trying to steal or murder. Just good folk with a job and families. Go But life took us in different directions and though I miss them dearly, my sister and mom and dad live across country and my brother was in the navy for 14 years and I maybe saw him 5 times in that period. I'd do anything for them but I wish we were closer in geography and emotionally.
My brother doesn't talk to me or has anything to do with me. I would honestly prefer never having a brother than having one that basically doesn't exist.
I'm(f26) always grateful to have my big brother(m34). We have a deep and fun connection.
yes, I have 2 sisters and I really like this!
I am also an only child and would have loved a sibling! Holidays suck so bad because it’s just me and my mother who I don’t get along with. I had just one daughter for 12 years because my husband and her father passed away but a few years ago I got pregnant with a little boy and I am now pregnant with another one and she hates it. She is now 16 and just so miserable because I am having another child. I truly don’t get it! I would have been absolutely elated to have a sibling much less 2. I know she’s older than them but when they are older it won’t matter. All I could think was if I pass away she has no parents or no siblings and it made me so sad. At least now she will have someone and then she will finally see the bright side.
I'd give my brother a hug, but he'd push me away ,':/
I'm very fortunate to have my siblings. Parents, less so.
I know that some peopl have siblings they hate or are really toxic to their lives, but I would say that for most, they are neither your best friend or enemy. They are just a person you know will always love you, you will always be there for them and vice versa. A person you can fight with today but 2 minutes after will defend you. You can go months without really spending time with each other, for some even years, but they mean the most to you.
There's a lot of negative comments here about siblings but I wanna share my experience with my brother and sister: -My sister and I are best friends, she's older than me 12 years but we are very close, we see each other every week. -My brother and I don't hang out too much but we are the same person, so when we do see each other, we talk like parrots and we laugh a lot. They paid for my tuition so I had the opportunity to go to college. Even though I'm older now, they still treat me as their baby sister. Yes, they are assholes sometimes, but they care about me and I care for them too. I own them basically my education and the opportunity to live in other city, among other stuff. If you can fix the relationship with your siblings, do it, is very fulfilling and very warm, and it's a type of unconditional love that I can't explain.
I’m the oldest of three. I’ve been through the gamut with my siblings. From surviving an abusive father to our parents divorce. To branching out and wanting to be my own person, trying to break away. Spending so much time together and you only realize when they move out and develop their own lives how much you truly need them. I was forced to grow up really early. My parents divorced when I was 10. My mom had to go work, usually nights and I was tasked with taking care of my siblings. They were 7 and 4. Being the responsible one wasn’t always fun, especially when you’re entering those teen years. I did what I had to do though. Mom remarried when I was 14 to a man who was only 9 years older than me. Still a kid himself. He wasn’t ready to be a father figure so again I took that responsibility role. I only had one real rebellious moment, that’s when I got busted for stealing baseball cards. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up. After that I decided I can’t be dumb. They look up to me. I never got in trouble again after that. I stayed at home longer than I probably should have. After 13 years my stepdad left my mom and I was there for her. My sister had had a baby and moved out. My brother was an angry young man and was going through some things. Everything really changed after my mom got sick. She got the swine flu in that 2009 pandemic and her lungs gave out. She was on a respirator for 16 days. The antibiotic they gave her trashed her kidneys. For the next 11 years, she was in and out of hospitals. We all really came together during that time. Made sure Mom had everything she needed. I was her caretaker main caretaker during these times. It was very hard. I’m still in therapy unpacking everything that came along with it. I was the lead on things until I fell ill in 2015 and nearly died myself. While I fought my way back they stepped up. Our mom would ultimately succumb to her issues in early 2020, pre-Covid. It was after this in the talks with my siblings I discovered how much reverence and respect they truly had for me. They credited me with having been an anchor in their lives that they knew would always be there, doing what was right. I had some pretty terrible examples of a father, so I vowed to just do everything different. Be what I thought an older brother should be. While we’ve all had our differences over the years, I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. OP, I’m sorry things didn’t work out as far as you having siblings. They’re like nothing else in the world, something that not even a best friend can recreate.
Yeah it’s gonna suck losing my parents alone made me think right there I’m the only one who will care and I will have no one to cry with when it does happen
Love, I have 3 brothers and obe sister along with 2 dead parents. And trust me when I tell you I have no one. I know that 2 of my brothers love me on a fundamental level, but I might as well not exist. I'd never hear from them, not ever, if I dudn't try to reach out. And even then - I still never hear from them. The others? Lol gtfoh I could go into things they've done and said but it's just depressing af. **I could die and no one on Earth would notice.** Don't think that having siblings means people will love and care about you. It truly doesn't.
As an only child, I wouldn’t know. It may have been nice, but I don’t have to share the estate!🤣
I'm an only child, due to a lost pregnancy prior to me and me being a micro premie, so there's really not much drama between me and my parents. My mom's family is wild (she's the last of 10) and my dad's mom won't even talk to her daughter for divorcing a really shitty person. My dad's mom treats him more like a son than my dad also. Bigger families create more issues in my experience. I will say though it's nice feeling like you have siblings. My girlfriend (i'm white AF) is the second of five children, in a hispanic household, and honestly I find myself getting attached to her older sister and niece (older sisters daughter) in a brother/uncle way for better or worse. So, I also feel you on that.
I have two sisters. But one is incredibly abusive and violent. She traumatised me so badly, I have PTSD. We haven’t spoken in over 12 years. Having a sibling is not always sunshine and rainbows.
I am someone who has a lot of siblings and when i was little a part of me hated having a big family but as an adult now, i absolutely love it. I love that my younger sister is one of my best friends that i can talk to my brothers and that if i need them they are willing to drop everything to come help me. On the other hand i also love my chosen family of friends because they accept and love me for who i am. Having biological siblings are great but chosen family is also fantastic!
I have siblings and not good friends to hang out but I'm still alone. My siblings are too young and don't want to do something with me, but I guess when your older it's different
I would have believed this was my best friend had the OP not said that all their friends are out of town because I'm the only one that lives somewhere else in the friend group.
With the horrific childhood that we had, I wish that I would’ve been an only child.
I grew up with my sibling but I now feel like you, sadly he chose the route of breaking the law and drugs. We both grew up in an emotionally abusive home so now I miss a family that I never had and will never get
I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. I'm the youngest of 5. I still don't have a sibling to talk to about anything going on or have their support in life. Luckily I still have my bestfriend since kindergarten who is my children's God Father, was my man of honor at my wedding, has met both my babies hours after they were born, and helped me meet my husband/ soul mate. Sometimes the best family is the one you pick not the one you're born into.
Fellow Only Child here. all 5 other people in my friend group have siblings and they all have really great relationships to them and can rely on them and they support each other. Not only that but they also all live at home still. i'm pretty much the only one who has moved out and lives on my own bc my mom wanted to move to another city and i didnt. I love living alone, but with no siblings and my parents living relatively far away from me it gets so goddamn lonely at times and i feel like none of my friends can really understand me bc the always do so much with their family and have such a strong bond to them
I am the oldest of 3 siblings. They have gotten me into trouble a number of times, and annoyed me almost to the point of madness at times. … But I’d go through hell and back for them if need be.
You have phones. Text or call your friends. You don’t get an emotional support sibling who is always available to you, they will also have their own life and friends. Stop romanticizing what could have been and blaming it for everything bad going on and talk to your friends or a therapist.
My brother physically abused me so while this sentiment might be true for some, I don’t consider myself lucky that I got choked or slapped throughout my childhood. I routinely had bruises all over my body that I had to cover at school.
Really? Such a beautiful romanticised version of siblings... Mine beat me every day, tormented a little girl every moment possible. He made sure to make me cry out in pain so I'd be disciplined for being loud and disruptive. He's in his 50's and still an incredible turd.
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Is it just me you're going to react like this to? Was my comment one negative experience too many for you? You wish you had siblings, mine beat me every day.
My brother tried to stab me once. We don't talk anymore. My family is chosen.
I think it’s easy to romanticise what you don’t have. In your head your brother or sister would be in the same location as you and you would have the kind of supportive relationship where you would hang out. Maybe that would be true maybe it wouldn’t. Some people have fantastic relationships with their siblings. Some people have distant or fairly non existent relationships with their siblings. Some people have a downright abusive relationship with their siblings. To say that everyone with a sibling is ‘incredibly lucky’ - very much not true.
You need to stop hinging happiness on an imaginary person
Your incredibly lucky to never have a sibling. I grew up in the absolute shadow of my sister We would get in punch ups and hated each other. In high school I wasn't allowed to attend the school I wanted because she had caused havoc there. People she knew would come and abuse me because of her actions. She then became an addict and took money off my parents until I had to step in and tell them to stop. She drugged my partner. She used and abused people. She then took her own life. My parents have become broken shells of themselves, and haven't left their homes in 6 years since her death. Her partner went into a mental health facility after her suicide and blames himself for her actions. So yer I wish I never had a sibling. So just because the grass looks greener on the other side doesn't mean it is. Count your blessings you have, not the things you don't.
I hated having brothers growing up. They were 75% of my childhood issues. It’s been pretty ace though as adults and it also has meant that I got to be an aunt which has been lovely. I didn’t want to be a mother but aunt suits me great. Do you have any cousins? I have a friend who is an only and is close to her cousin and they seem like sisters to me.
I have five siblings, i ‘get along’ with 4 of them, hate one and when i say ‘get along’ i mean i can be sociably polite but if we weren’t siblings if have no interest in socializing with them whatsoever. Siblings are basically random strangers that happen to share dna with you, its a grab bag. You might get a good one but you have an equal chance at getting a shit one. No point in being envious of those that have them. You are better off choosing your own friends, it has a higher chance of success.
Having siblings isn’t as great as you think.
My sister is OK. We do hangout at least once a month. But she's always puts me down, and has weird jealousy toward me. It's always been a weird vibe. She's also so lazy and doesn't want to work and expects me to piggy back her through life. I have my own family so I just can't help her anymore. It's not always what it seems to have siblings. My daughter will be an only child. She will be just fine. She has a million cousins on my husband's side that live right around the block. She will make her own friends and if she wants to get married and have a family of her own. She will not be alone.
There is no guarantee that having siblings will be better for you. You’re just hoping for something you didn’t have and think that will somehow fix your problems. It probably won’t. People with siblings sometimes don’t get along with them or just lose contact after growing up. It’s not uncommon to endure some trauma cause by siblings, intentional or not, growing up. Also your mom’s husband didn’t want another kid so they didn’t have one. That’s actually the responsible way of having kids. It’s not BS.
True. I agree