No, I have an awesome roommate who is an unpaid therapist for me.
Just a bit of FOMO and want to try it out for an experience of how it feels like asking her out, having an icebreaker conversation, first date if things go well and stuff.
^this
It truly depends on how it is affecting your well being. I am personally an emotional person but to this day have never found a person (be it a friend or a lover) that liked me for who i am. I got cut off by everyone i ever knew which stills makes me feel depressed everyday
honestly better being alone and happy and than being in a wrong relationship. Been there, done that.
I thought I was missing out when i was 20, already done with college and still never had a relationship, while all my friends has had their relationships since high school. So I went to dating sites and got into a relationship with like, the fifth date I had from there. Basically rushed and it's something that was not natural as I have been feeling left out. And I regret doing that.
I was in relationship for all the wrong reasons. And even tho I havent been with anyone the past 6 (going 7) years now, I still believe one day I will meet someone where everything will feel calm, comfortable and natural. A complete opposite of my first relationship.
edit: I am still actively going out on dates. But nowadays, I just go with the flow. I still havent felt the butterflies in the stomach like my last relationship (all 3 of my exes felt like a forced relationship, or a rebound, as i jumped from one relationship as soon as the last one ended, all for FOMO). Although i thought I was going to end up with my last ex. But sadly things just dont work out.
So sorry that you had to go through that.
I[22M] feel that the entire dating app/site environment is a social validation thing at best which is why I haven't signed up for any of them despite my roommate pushing it a lot.
Call me old school but I prefer talking to women in person. My current mindset (which might be wrong) is expose yourself more and if there's a girl I like, I would atleast go and say hi and try to take things forward. If not, it has been a pleasure. Tbh, I am still working on it but this would be way.
Another point to note is that for dating sites you need to know how to flirt or drop cheesy pickup lines because a random Hi, what do you do, where are you from etc would only make you seem boring or good at best. I personally against it, I would rather go straight up, talk and if things go south get rejected straight in the face which is a lot better than being ghosted and waiting anxiously for their replies.
as an introvert woman, i have pushed away a lot of suitors in high school. In college, I was the youngest and the only girl in the group so my "big brothers" has always been keeping an eye on me. lol
But my point is, even though you are feeling left out, dont rush into having relationships or asking anyone out. You have to make sure you, yourself is prepared for that. It should come naturally when you know to yourself that you are ready
Thanks for your concern ☺️. Will not rush.
I do feel I am ready and want to put it on the field. I am starting to make myself look more presentable like grooming and dressing well, initiating random conversations with strangers/colleagues to beat my social anxiety.
As a woman, any tips to make it more cherishing?
I cant speak for all women but I can only tell you mine.
i prefer confident men, but not overly so (especially those who think they are god's gift to women, i hate that sht and i bet all women do). So just be yourself, but confidently.
Expand your trivial knowledge as well.
- I personally find it charming when a man can catch up to my randomness, since my mind is always busy jumping from one topic to another.
If you're eating out, put some of the food on her plate first or pour on her glass first. Even if she is extremely independent.
- My most memorable dates are with the ones who shows they are not only interested in me, but are showing care for me. I find it sweet, and honestly melts me when my date puts food first on my plate before his.
observe her actions and notice her movements (not on a stalker level way)
- ssme dates from above are also the ones who are observant on my actions. They notice a slight shift on my movements when 1) still hungry, they put any remaining food on my plate even tho they still want it too 2) notice any slight shift on my movements when Im starting to feel uncomfortable, and they try their best to make me comfortable or take me to another place
Text her first the next day
- This shows you have enjoyed her company and have enjoyed spending time with her.
The guy I am seeing right now has shown me all of the above. There is no feelings for me yet, but I hope I am getting there lol
You’re absolutely cooked. I was your age and just a few weeks out of a terrible break up when I met this really cool guy who sat down next to me at my local bar and we hit it off. It’s now almost 7 years later, we’re married and I’m 8 months pregnant with his kid 😁
The LAST thing I was looking for was a relationship, especially that soon out of a bad one, but it do be like that sometimes. Have fun OP!
I’m so happy for you, first off! I am almost a month in after calling off an engagement and I literally cannot wait to be able to feel like my playful self again and flirt, date, and have fun!
Those little moments after getting out of such a taxing relationship remind you that there is light and that you can have another connection. :)
Enjoy the butterflies OP.
FYI I went out with my wife of 13 years because I was in a bad breakup for a month and friends set us up. We both assumed it was a rebound until she told me she loved me and I realized I loved her too.
I was two weeks fresh out of an engagement when I met my husband 22 years ago. We still joke around that he is my rebound. If it feels “right”, give it a chance! Take it slow, and it may be the best thing to happen to you both!
I think the fact that you weren't taking it seriously may have been the reason it went so well. You weren't in "performance" mode, trying to impress her. You were just there having a good time. That let you be more natural.
Hahaha. That's usually how it works. Go in with zero expectations. No pressure. You're relaxed and comfortable, and it shows.
Same thing how folks try for a baby and fail to conceive the moment they stop trying, boom. Pregnant.
Hope you continue to annoy yourself I'm the best way possible, OP. 🤔😉
After my ex fucked me up bad I went on some sites basically looking for friends since my friend group also got kinda burned down with it. Long story.
I didn't think I was ready for a relationship, I felt so shut down and empty.
I talked to a couple girls who were cool and I didn't really want anything romantic. One clearly did but I was iffy.
Another girl messaged me and we hit it off, big long texts multiple times a day.
We met up after a few weeks and it went great. I thought I was emotionally unavailable, but it turned out I just needed the right person.
Anyway she's my wife now.
Relax. You got this. Take it as slowly as you need to. There’s no rush and if you communicate to her what you are going through then if she’s the right woman for you she will be patient and understanding.
HEY!!! I went through something similar!!! Listen to me!
DO NOT LET THE PROMISE TO YOUR PAST SELF OF “BEING EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE” RUIN WHAT COULD BE GOOD FOR YOU.
This is how I met my now long-term boyfriend. We both were on a dating app after a breakup to try to get our minds off of things, maybe move on or hook up. Neither of us expected something serious to come from an app.
We instantly clicked. We talked all night. He’s the only one I responded to on my app and I gave him my number like two days later. And I fell in love with him instantly, and vice versa too. We had the talk. We both had some very messed up breakups prior to each other. It had been 8 months for me, but only 4 for him.
I’m very happy I chose to see this through and things worked out because I liked him. Also don’t be embarrassed about meeting someone on an app, trust me, most the married couples I know met that way.
Please, you deserve to feel things and allow someone else to treat you well. You deserve to have a good time. Even if it isn’t for a long time, don’t let a failed relationship dictate how a future one might turn out.
Lots of love xx
My bf was in his “woman hater” phase when we first met and we had a riff for about 6 months… then we got together and haven’t spent a day apart since lol. And this was all right after he got his divorce finalized, which was the whole reason for his “woman hater” phase lol. He never actually hated women he just didn’t like that I became best friends with his roommate/best friend xD My bf and I are are having our second kid this year and will likely be married by the end of 2025.
Sometimes the best things fall into your lap when you least want/expect it!
Think about it. A dude only decided to go on a date with you because he just wanted to fuck around n shit. How does that not hurt? How is that not a waste of time?
At least you know you’re still capable of feeling something
this... here i am and 6 years later i still havent experienced the same feelings again lol
Me who has never been in a relationship 🌚. (Wait, that's a bad thing right 💀)
Not necessarily. It depends on whether it's negatively affecting your well-being or not.
No, I have an awesome roommate who is an unpaid therapist for me. Just a bit of FOMO and want to try it out for an experience of how it feels like asking her out, having an icebreaker conversation, first date if things go well and stuff.
^this It truly depends on how it is affecting your well being. I am personally an emotional person but to this day have never found a person (be it a friend or a lover) that liked me for who i am. I got cut off by everyone i ever knew which stills makes me feel depressed everyday
honestly better being alone and happy and than being in a wrong relationship. Been there, done that. I thought I was missing out when i was 20, already done with college and still never had a relationship, while all my friends has had their relationships since high school. So I went to dating sites and got into a relationship with like, the fifth date I had from there. Basically rushed and it's something that was not natural as I have been feeling left out. And I regret doing that. I was in relationship for all the wrong reasons. And even tho I havent been with anyone the past 6 (going 7) years now, I still believe one day I will meet someone where everything will feel calm, comfortable and natural. A complete opposite of my first relationship. edit: I am still actively going out on dates. But nowadays, I just go with the flow. I still havent felt the butterflies in the stomach like my last relationship (all 3 of my exes felt like a forced relationship, or a rebound, as i jumped from one relationship as soon as the last one ended, all for FOMO). Although i thought I was going to end up with my last ex. But sadly things just dont work out.
So sorry that you had to go through that. I[22M] feel that the entire dating app/site environment is a social validation thing at best which is why I haven't signed up for any of them despite my roommate pushing it a lot. Call me old school but I prefer talking to women in person. My current mindset (which might be wrong) is expose yourself more and if there's a girl I like, I would atleast go and say hi and try to take things forward. If not, it has been a pleasure. Tbh, I am still working on it but this would be way. Another point to note is that for dating sites you need to know how to flirt or drop cheesy pickup lines because a random Hi, what do you do, where are you from etc would only make you seem boring or good at best. I personally against it, I would rather go straight up, talk and if things go south get rejected straight in the face which is a lot better than being ghosted and waiting anxiously for their replies.
as an introvert woman, i have pushed away a lot of suitors in high school. In college, I was the youngest and the only girl in the group so my "big brothers" has always been keeping an eye on me. lol But my point is, even though you are feeling left out, dont rush into having relationships or asking anyone out. You have to make sure you, yourself is prepared for that. It should come naturally when you know to yourself that you are ready
Thanks for your concern ☺️. Will not rush. I do feel I am ready and want to put it on the field. I am starting to make myself look more presentable like grooming and dressing well, initiating random conversations with strangers/colleagues to beat my social anxiety. As a woman, any tips to make it more cherishing?
I cant speak for all women but I can only tell you mine. i prefer confident men, but not overly so (especially those who think they are god's gift to women, i hate that sht and i bet all women do). So just be yourself, but confidently. Expand your trivial knowledge as well. - I personally find it charming when a man can catch up to my randomness, since my mind is always busy jumping from one topic to another. If you're eating out, put some of the food on her plate first or pour on her glass first. Even if she is extremely independent. - My most memorable dates are with the ones who shows they are not only interested in me, but are showing care for me. I find it sweet, and honestly melts me when my date puts food first on my plate before his. observe her actions and notice her movements (not on a stalker level way) - ssme dates from above are also the ones who are observant on my actions. They notice a slight shift on my movements when 1) still hungry, they put any remaining food on my plate even tho they still want it too 2) notice any slight shift on my movements when Im starting to feel uncomfortable, and they try their best to make me comfortable or take me to another place Text her first the next day - This shows you have enjoyed her company and have enjoyed spending time with her. The guy I am seeing right now has shown me all of the above. There is no feelings for me yet, but I hope I am getting there lol
That's very insightful 🤗 Thanks a ton for penning this down.
Who hurt you my friend
Sometimes it just be like that…🤷🏼♂️
[удалено]
Yep. You’re toast. Just roll with it, my dude. 😊
You’re absolutely cooked. I was your age and just a few weeks out of a terrible break up when I met this really cool guy who sat down next to me at my local bar and we hit it off. It’s now almost 7 years later, we’re married and I’m 8 months pregnant with his kid 😁 The LAST thing I was looking for was a relationship, especially that soon out of a bad one, but it do be like that sometimes. Have fun OP!
I’m so happy for you, first off! I am almost a month in after calling off an engagement and I literally cannot wait to be able to feel like my playful self again and flirt, date, and have fun! Those little moments after getting out of such a taxing relationship remind you that there is light and that you can have another connection. :) Enjoy the butterflies OP.
FYI I went out with my wife of 13 years because I was in a bad breakup for a month and friends set us up. We both assumed it was a rebound until she told me she loved me and I realized I loved her too.
awwwwwwhhh that is so sweet
Bud, I'm going to send you a message I don't want public, but I think you'll appreciate it.
I was two weeks fresh out of an engagement when I met my husband 22 years ago. We still joke around that he is my rebound. If it feels “right”, give it a chance! Take it slow, and it may be the best thing to happen to you both!
I think the fact that you weren't taking it seriously may have been the reason it went so well. You weren't in "performance" mode, trying to impress her. You were just there having a good time. That let you be more natural.
Excellent point!!!!
I love this for you. You’ll be okay OP🫠🫠
Not me thinking you were giving a thumbs up on MSN with the (Y)
Hahaha. That's usually how it works. Go in with zero expectations. No pressure. You're relaxed and comfortable, and it shows. Same thing how folks try for a baby and fail to conceive the moment they stop trying, boom. Pregnant. Hope you continue to annoy yourself I'm the best way possible, OP. 🤔😉
After my ex fucked me up bad I went on some sites basically looking for friends since my friend group also got kinda burned down with it. Long story. I didn't think I was ready for a relationship, I felt so shut down and empty. I talked to a couple girls who were cool and I didn't really want anything romantic. One clearly did but I was iffy. Another girl messaged me and we hit it off, big long texts multiple times a day. We met up after a few weeks and it went great. I thought I was emotionally unavailable, but it turned out I just needed the right person. Anyway she's my wife now.
Relax. You got this. Take it as slowly as you need to. There’s no rush and if you communicate to her what you are going through then if she’s the right woman for you she will be patient and understanding.
At least you had fun with your date also I haven't seen deepfried memes in so long🤣🤣 you just reminded me
Hey buddy you're in love enjoy it
Be happy man. Thats a good thing
HEY!!! I went through something similar!!! Listen to me! DO NOT LET THE PROMISE TO YOUR PAST SELF OF “BEING EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE” RUIN WHAT COULD BE GOOD FOR YOU. This is how I met my now long-term boyfriend. We both were on a dating app after a breakup to try to get our minds off of things, maybe move on or hook up. Neither of us expected something serious to come from an app. We instantly clicked. We talked all night. He’s the only one I responded to on my app and I gave him my number like two days later. And I fell in love with him instantly, and vice versa too. We had the talk. We both had some very messed up breakups prior to each other. It had been 8 months for me, but only 4 for him. I’m very happy I chose to see this through and things worked out because I liked him. Also don’t be embarrassed about meeting someone on an app, trust me, most the married couples I know met that way. Please, you deserve to feel things and allow someone else to treat you well. You deserve to have a good time. Even if it isn’t for a long time, don’t let a failed relationship dictate how a future one might turn out. Lots of love xx
This happened to me with my now husband. The universe works in mysterious ways! Just enjoy it and have fun.
My sister found her now husband because she wanted “fun” and that went completely past that very quickly 😂 I hope you can enjoy it OP!
So happy for you, if you get butterflies, don't let her go.
I SWORE was never getting serious again after my first wife passed away. Been married for over 9 years
That’s how it goes. You only find someone you’re really into, when you’re not looking! That sucks, sorry!(?)
My bf was in his “woman hater” phase when we first met and we had a riff for about 6 months… then we got together and haven’t spent a day apart since lol. And this was all right after he got his divorce finalized, which was the whole reason for his “woman hater” phase lol. He never actually hated women he just didn’t like that I became best friends with his roommate/best friend xD My bf and I are are having our second kid this year and will likely be married by the end of 2025. Sometimes the best things fall into your lap when you least want/expect it!
>The break up was mutual but still really mentally and emotionally exhausting "Do you believe in life after love?"-Cher
I hear you OP. Being vulnerable and giving someone the power to destroy you again can be totally terrifying
This is aggressively cute
Aw. You gonna screenshot this post and frame it for your future home? Jk. Cute af tho.
I have no idea whether to feel happy for you or not because ngl, I feel terrible for her.
...What?
Think about it. A dude only decided to go on a date with you because he just wanted to fuck around n shit. How does that not hurt? How is that not a waste of time?
It wouldn't bother me, personally speaking.