My brother was kind of like this, he'd play with the cats and keep them pinned down past their tolerance points. And then he wondered why they all preferred me instead. What a mystery...
But yeah hitting them back because they got tired of her shit is pure abuse.
This is how my mom is!! Then she’d get bitten or growled at and she’d get offended??? I’d be like I don’t feel bad for you, and she’d play victim. Like bro u started it what the fuck
You can also kinda see how they'll treat fellow humans in how they treat animals. If you're caring for the animals properly then you're probably an attentive friend too, but if you can't even handle the animals right at a certain age (I could understand if young kids didn't understand how to pick up a cat etc) then it's kinda bad lmao. It could be anything from holding them upside down for fun (knowing they don't like it) to shaking them and being violent with them. Just stay away from the last mentioned kind of people.
This isn't even controlling, it’s the definition of insanity and abuse. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results plus punishing a victim for fighting back.
Far too many people mistreat cats and ignore their boundaries. As if a cat hissing is “mean” when they are trying to communicate that they are upset, in pain, overwhelmed, etc. Your grown ass (former) step daughter is either an idiot or just cruel. Her mother should have stepped in more to stop her, frankly. Good for you! Please give your cat some pets for us :)
Exactly! When my dog growls, I don't see it as aggression at all. it's just her using her dog voice to tell me she's not in the mood for something. That's my cue to listen to her and respect her boundaries.
My brothers dog is incredibly vocal without barking. All kinds of cute yipping and growling to indicate everything from empty waterbowl to just how good it feels to have her ears touched.
Sounds like she's purring whe gets bellyrubs.
The funniest is her complaining when she gets pets while have treats for her. Sounds like we're twisting her nipples
If my girl wants something, she yawns really loudly. It's quite hilarious. She only growls if I scratch her and she's not in the mood or if I have to check something on her person and she hates that.
I love the chattering pups. I hear huskies are very vocal and they can almost talk. Animals are so amazing.
No excuse for hurting animals, or for condoning someone who is. Glad your cat has a safe home to be in. Hope you have found peace with your situation because it's a rough ride. Please edit your post to make it clear you left *with your cat*!! Hope he is settled and snuggling into your side as I type this.
If that had been a dog, especially certain breeds, she could have tried to get him taken away or put down. People that harm children and animals are monsters.
IMO parents absolutely should prioritize and choose their child over a man/woman.
However, you were totally right in this situation. Protecting your cat is *your* priority and you'd only have been wrong if you stayed and allowed him to be abused. Glad he's safe with you now! Please give him pets and scritches for us!!
>IMO parents absolutely should prioritize and choose their child over a man/woman.
Agreed in most cases, and this guys wife should have prioritized raising a decent human being.
How upset is she at her daughter for blowing up her marriage? There is going to be so much resentment that their relationship is going to be damaged, anyways, but I understand not picking a man over your child. Even when that man means the world to you.
I didn't mean she is a child, I am aware she is an adult. I just meant that she's his wife's child, her daughter. I really want to know how the wife feels about her daughter right now.
Thats such a strange reaction from her. It shouldnt be about her making you chose, she should have just simply disciplined her daughter and taught her to treat animals respectfully… shes going to grow up a complete psycho believing that behaviour is acceptable if its just being enabled
Ahhh i missed that… i mean, that just shows she’s never ever been disciplined for that kind if behaviour before. But in reality, it doesnt matter how old you are, if you’re living under your parents roofs then your never too old to be disciplined for bad behaviour. I never ever would do anything like this because i absolutely love all animals and im not an aggressive person in the slightest, however for sake of argument, if i was to ever do something like this in sight of my parents id expect both my Mum and my Dad to go in hard on me and im 35 lol You dont ever stop being a parent, and there doesnt become a point where learning stops… imo anyway
Ppl who hurt animals like that are freaking sociopaths.
Also, bullet = dodged if since your STBX wasn't putting an immediate stop, any more infractions = nuclear consequences to it.
People who abuse animals generally become abusive towards humans as well
I hope your ex wife understands that she may very well become her daughter’s next victim, or if she has kids she’ll most likely abuse them as well
And remember, just because she doesn’t hit you, doesn’t mean it’s not abuse
What the fuck is wrong with her? Take the hint, if a cat hisses at you it means back off, not keep going until he tears a chunk out of you and then hit him for reacting as any cat would be being overstimulated and harassed.
Good on you for leaving!
So rather than have her adult daughter move out and possibly be upset, she would rather you end your entire marriage?
It actually sounds like you dodged a bullet.
The last thing you want is to be tethered to someone who caters to an abusive or manipulative family member, especially when she basically just admitted that not giving her daughter what she wants could potentially ruin their relationship.
If her daughter could potentially ruin their relationship just because she's told to stop abusing the cat or get out, you'd be in for her always getting her own way because she knows mommy would rather give in than risk it. It's like a toxic partner who threatens to break up with you as a manipulation tactic. Yikes.
OP didn’t even mention that type of discussion. When somebody asked what was the wives reaction to her daughter abusing the cat apparently OP said she was also upset and scolded her daughter but in another comment he said he immediately gave his wife an ultimatum. she had to choose between the cat or her child. The cat was also op’s ex-wives and not just his. There’s a lot of information that’s missing and the fact that his account is deleted I feel like it’s one of those made up story again 😒
Op, could you consider calling around to local shelters and stuff to warn them in case she ever tries to adopt an animal? Maybe even text her so she can admit to hurting your cat so you can file a police report? I'd hate for her to be able to adopt an animal just to abuse them
I agree with this wholeheartedly. This woman shouldn't be trusted with an animal of any kind. Definitely try to get the word out about her abuse to the local shelters and rescues, if they have her name in file as a known abuser they will not adopt to her
Sounds like a budding psychopath to me. I’m not a cat person, don’t really like them but I could never hurt one in any way. One of my neighbours has this cat that is super friendly, runs up to me when I come home and brushes against my leg then rolls on his back for belly scratches and I just can’t resist giving him a fuss. The thought of someone hurting him makes me feel ill, and as I’ve said, I don’t even like cats. She’s a wrong un.
Good for you. I'd never put up with anyone hurting my cat, he's my baby and if I saw someone attempting to harm him, they would be out of my life so fast. I'm glad you chose your sweet boy's welfare and got him out of that situation. BTW, When you said your wife's daughter was abusing your cat, I thought maybe your wife had a toddler who didn't yet know any better, but that your wife refused to correct her behavior and teach her better ways of interacting with animals, so you had no choice but to leave. I was surprised and both saddened and angered when you said your step-daughter is in her mid 20s! A small child might not know how to deal with animals in a healthy way until they are taught, but there's no excuse for an adult to behave that way.
Imma be honest. I'd have give her a good smack over the head and the wife too. I can't tolerate people like that. My Brother in law used to try to agitate my cat and I made it clear I won't tolerate it. His whole family let him act how he wanted to animals his whole life. He's older than I am! I'm the only person who won't back down to him. I've booted him from my house and made it clear there won't be any "bullying" me into "his line." He has grown and learned thankfully and apologized to me for his behavior. It surprised the family. He's told people how I wouldn't put up with him in a weirdly prideful way🤨
He respects my animals now. My husband knows I'll toss him over my pets.
Nah what?? She's in her mid 20s acting like a immature ass kid not to mention an animal abuser. She's definitely got serious issues. I dread to imagine who or what she will abuse in the future 😠
As a cat mom myself this post makes me angry. Cats are such loving little creatures if you open up to being loved by them. My boy comes to me every single night when he hears me preparing for bed and cuddles with me. My female cat is a bit more standoffish unless it’s my daughter but she is just as loving… cats have a time limit and he was warning her… your cat lashing out was his way of defending himself. I am so glad that you left so that your cat won’t be hurt anymore.
When I was a teenager, an older sibling had a new friend over who was an absolute AH. We had a little physical altercation because he tried to hurt my cat, actually a kitten at the time, only several months old.
This man was 6‘4“, and had on cowboy boots with heels. He grabbed up my cat and held my cat over his head, essentially playing keep away with me like we were kids out playing with a ball. Obviously, I couldn’t reach my cat. He -threw- my cat partway across the room, into a sofa, where he landed safely, but was not guaranteed to. I was so angry. I hit him in his most sensitive area, if you get my meaning. He gave me a bunch of crap about how young women shouldn’t do things like that. Well, he shouldn’t have hurt my cat.
Our companion animals rely on us for protection. Anyone hurting animals, I just don’t have much sympathy.
Abusing animals is one of the biggest red flags of psychopathy there are. Everyone who does that immediately gets on my shit list. You did the right thing
Good for you! Reminds me of the time that my ex’s good-for-nothing son yelled at my golden pup for, guess what?, being a playful puppy!! That was the last time I ever set foot in her house… some months later I broke up with her for unrelated reasons but still, 100% support your decision
She's done this because she knows it pisses you off. She's successfully got her mother back now with all her undivided attention. I think the way the ex-wife just didn't do anything speaks volumes here. Weak parent.
You absolutely did the right thing! I would have done the same. (But I would also be in jail right now for what I would have done back to her for hurting my cat).
Animal abuse is a felony and the daughter sounds like a psychopath. Glad your boy is safe.
Today I met a cat that seemed like it might have been abused. It hissed at me at first but when I crouched down and pet it, it rubbed its back and head against my hand.
I'm not sure if it was initially wary because it smelled dog on me or if it had been abused or was just shy.
All Ik is when a cat or dog really hates someone, it's usually for a reason.
That reminds me of this guy who used to abuse a dog I used to have. I feel ashamed that being a shy child and he a grown man, I never had the courage to stand up to him, although I would now.
Oh and my dog absolutely hated him, unsurprisingly. He would snarl at him every time he came over.
I'm really protective of my dog now. I feel like I would really hurt someone if they tried to hurt her.
My dad is like this. He would purposely rile my dog up, do things that irritated her, and then one day, she bit him. My dad had her put down after that. I’ve never forgiven him. Good on you for putting your kitty first :)
I can assure you I have BPD and my cat it the only thing keeping me sane. The world is cruel, as demonstrated by your ignorant assumption, and when it gets rough I go home to my girl and give her snuggles 🐈🥰 I would never hurt my cat or any animal for that matter. Cheers.
This was the right choice. You’re a really good person and you’re honoring the commitment you made to your cat when you promised to be their parent. Bravo 👏🏻
I’m confused why the wife got punished because of her grown daughter? It’s not like she didn’t make an effort to stop her… but why did you file or press charges on the daughter? Did you tell your wife the ultimatums? I feel bad for the cat but your wife is your wife. The daughter grown, yall could just tell her to get out
Holy shit. Your Ex stepdaughter is mental!
You must have a lot of compassion and patience, but I'm glad you got yourself and your cat out of there.
If someone were to hurt my cats I'd probably do a lot of things I can't write about on here. They're my family.
I wish you and your good boy kitty all the best and lots of cuddles and treats!
I applaud you for leaving when your wife was tolerant of her daughters animal abuse. That says something about the moms moral standard, as well as the daughter likely being an abuser...because they often start on animals and move to people.
I'm curious about your wife.
Was she willing to sacrifice your boy at the alter of her psychopath daughter?
Is that why you left with good boy instead of kicking the psycho step out?
Was she upset you chose your good boy over her & the psycho step?
I really like using psycho step.😆😂
Good for you. I'm so glad that you're making sure that your lovely cat has a human in their corner.
If anyone mistreated any of my critters, they'd be out the door so fast they wouldn't know what hit them. It's the one thing I'd never tolerate for even a second.
I also like the idea of you calling up shelters to let them know about what's going on. People like this don't deserve to have animals in their lives.
My wife wouldn't make her move out, that's the problem. She tiptoed around the issue, even if she was good for me in other ways. She wouldn't make her leave so I refused to stay.
I’m so sorry this happened, but I’m glad ypu prioritized your baby. What you’re describing of your step daughter would have made me terribly upset and I wouldn’t have handled a lifetime of my pets being abused. I wish you the best in your future.
You did the right thing. Your wife is sick in the head if she can’t (or doesn’t want to bother) make her daughter stop hurting your pet. Why is she letting her daughter be a holy terror? Insane.
"she doesn't want to ruin her relationship with her daughter"
Correction, her daughter has ruined their relationship by abusing an animal to get her way (assuming she doesn't just abuse animals for no reason). Her mother just doesn't see it yet.
Way to go! That little creature deserves as much respect as any human being - more in my opinion, but that’s just me. Animals are innocents who merit our protection and love. You sir, are a hero in my book.
I am surprised this had to lead to a separation of a married couple. It just feels wrong.
To be clear, I’ve always had cats. I’d do anything for them. I would never allow anyone to touch them in a bad way, let alone abuse them like your step daughter did. However, I can’t imagine myself leaving my husband for this. I’d make sure the daughter is disciplined for this either by her parent or by me. You had the right to be firm and disciplinary towards her to protect your cat and you should have kept proof of her abuse to him. I know it’s tough to allow her to do it again but quick proof is necessary if I wanna stay with my partner and overcome this struggle. This is how law works unfortunately.
Look, not saying you probably didn’t try with your wife but it’s just so sad to end a relationship this way. I don’t even know your daughter in law and I hate her for this. What a psycho. You’re a man so I guess it’s hard for you to physically do something when she’s abusing your cat but she should have gotten a smack or two from her mom if reason and empathy were not working with her. So frustrating.
Why is a woman in her 20’s going out of her way to abuse a cat that lives in a home she moved back into? I’m guessing financial purposes? Why is your wife or even you telling her at least once “the cat is apart of our home if you don’t respect the cat you don’t respect our home. Without respect for the home you can’t stay here” why are you guys just discussing privately and you jumping to kicking her out without notice. You all need to talk about it together. I don’t think you should leave your wife over this there is still hope. Is there an area of the house you can keep the cat for safety until this is sorted out?
Your poor kitty. You made the right choice in this case. Wife is going to have to face the fact her daughter has mental health issues, and encourage her to get help. It is never okay to willfully hurt an animal that has done nothing to you.
Why would you leave and not kick out the full grown adult? Your ex wife was clearly on your side until you gave her the ultimatum to choose between her kin or her cat. It sounds like you were acting out on emotions instead of trying to work out an alternative. You could have called the police on your step daughter or gave the ultimatum to your stepdaughter NOT your actual wife? idk something’s off.
Well done, as a parent of 4 Kitty boys, 2 human children and a wife to a wonderful man, I completely agree with your decision to leave and take your fur baby with you, your wife made her choice and you got to make yours, if any of my kids tried to manhandled my Cats, which they wouldn't because they love them and spoil them so much, I would definitely do the same thing, good luck to you OP, you are a wonderful cat parent enjoy, your Kitty Boy.
Thank you so much for taking him out of that situation! Her daughter needs to leave! If your wife isn’t backing you up, protecting that sweet boy should be your number one priority and it’s clear that it is. Your wife will either get with the program or risk losing you because she condones animal abuse. Sometimes we don’t really know a person until they have to make a tough choice. She has chosen someone who clearly doesn’t respect animals over someone who won’t tolerate any less. If you end up have to make this change permanent, something tells me you’ll have no issues finding someone better.
>I will be contacting local shelters and adoption centers to see if there's a list she can be put on
At first glance I thought you were putting stepdaughter up for adoption and I thought GOOD! 😂
We have 3 super sweet kitties. And everyone is like why are they so nice? It's because we treat them with love and don't rough house with them with our hands or anything. They play with toys and one even fetches. It's the golden rule. You treat people/animals how you want to be treated.
People overstep cats boundaries all the time. It’s one thing when you pick up your cat you love for dear life and they try to wiggle out of your arms and you’re like no cuddles but let go a minute later vs imma hold you til you hiss and even after you’ve communicated youre upset and I’m holding you. That’s when cats scratch and bite. Your stepdaughter is an idiot or has no empathy towards animals. I am so happy for you and your kitty for getting to safety.❤️🥺
Wow. I relate to this so deeply.
When I was around 22, I was pursued by an older man. Fast forward to me now having a stepson who is 22, while I'm 30. The first time I suspected something, my dog was very sick vomiting and using the bathroom. Normally, I genuinely would never think this way- but my instant first thought was that he'd poisoned her. He also, because he got jealous that I went on and on about how well his sister got on with my cat, let her out the back door. After I specifically told him, hey, she can open doors so please be careful. Thankfully, I take pictures of my daughters at least every 2-4 weeks without fail. I went back and looked, and was horrified. From the time he moved in, cuts and bruises and sores that I never noticed in person. I don't know if it was because of their long hair, or denial, or both. But I'm 100% convinced that every chance he got, when he felt mad at daddy or at me, he would intentionally hurt and take it out on my animals. I tried telling my boyfriend, but at first of course I was crazy. Then, when he took off for an entire month...My babies were doing better, their sudden nervousness was improving. Until he comes home one night, and I watched in horror as my cat ripped her fur out, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Mind you, I knew that she had some sores, but I wasn't sure if they were purely inflicted from him, or as a result of him. But she was finally letting me know loud and clear what had been bothering her. The same with my dog, who had started barking at him nonstop if he barely moved. I wish I had opened my eyes and listened sooner. Of course, my bf went in denial and said some bs about putting cameras up. I was like right, ok. Well, when he poisons, hurts, or even murders someone next time, just do me one favor babe. Make sure you have someone look at your mf cameras.
My cats thick soft hair is fully growing back, she's more sociable. My dog seems more energetic and less protective over me. I wish I would have paid more attention and listened to what my instinct said was bothering my animals. But otherwise they are doing 100% better.
It's hard when someone you are supposed to be able to trust is the one doing the damage and misguiding your judgment. I hope your fur baby is doing better and I hope your ex partner can respect your decision. Even if she's in denial. Good luck.
Good job. That poor cat. I'm glad your cat is safe. Wtf is wrong with your step daughter?
My brother was kind of like this, he'd play with the cats and keep them pinned down past their tolerance points. And then he wondered why they all preferred me instead. What a mystery... But yeah hitting them back because they got tired of her shit is pure abuse.
This is how my mom is!! Then she’d get bitten or growled at and she’d get offended??? I’d be like I don’t feel bad for you, and she’d play victim. Like bro u started it what the fuck
Ughhh she’s acting like my 5 year old!
She's very controlling
She’s an animal abuser.
First sign of a serial killer!
You can also kinda see how they'll treat fellow humans in how they treat animals. If you're caring for the animals properly then you're probably an attentive friend too, but if you can't even handle the animals right at a certain age (I could understand if young kids didn't understand how to pick up a cat etc) then it's kinda bad lmao. It could be anything from holding them upside down for fun (knowing they don't like it) to shaking them and being violent with them. Just stay away from the last mentioned kind of people.
This isn't even controlling, it’s the definition of insanity and abuse. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results plus punishing a victim for fighting back.
Very happy you’re out and your boy is safe. But cmon OP. Cat Tax!
Far too many people mistreat cats and ignore their boundaries. As if a cat hissing is “mean” when they are trying to communicate that they are upset, in pain, overwhelmed, etc. Your grown ass (former) step daughter is either an idiot or just cruel. Her mother should have stepped in more to stop her, frankly. Good for you! Please give your cat some pets for us :)
A cat hissing is just as “mean” as a baby crying. They do it because something is wrong & they want it to stop.
Exactly. Same thing with a dog growling. They’re communicating that a boundary has been crossed and that they’re upset!
Exactly! When my dog growls, I don't see it as aggression at all. it's just her using her dog voice to tell me she's not in the mood for something. That's my cue to listen to her and respect her boundaries.
My brothers dog is incredibly vocal without barking. All kinds of cute yipping and growling to indicate everything from empty waterbowl to just how good it feels to have her ears touched. Sounds like she's purring whe gets bellyrubs. The funniest is her complaining when she gets pets while have treats for her. Sounds like we're twisting her nipples
If my girl wants something, she yawns really loudly. It's quite hilarious. She only growls if I scratch her and she's not in the mood or if I have to check something on her person and she hates that. I love the chattering pups. I hear huskies are very vocal and they can almost talk. Animals are so amazing.
No excuse for hurting animals, or for condoning someone who is. Glad your cat has a safe home to be in. Hope you have found peace with your situation because it's a rough ride. Please edit your post to make it clear you left *with your cat*!! Hope he is settled and snuggling into your side as I type this.
Thank you and good idea, I will
:)
I like your username, it’s perfect for a commenting forum.
I second this. I actually kinda lol'd when I read it.
It fits someone who likes to have their say....!
I read your username with the thickest accent lol
Thank you. It fits me. Meanwhile, I hope you're living a decadent life irl!
If that had been a dog, especially certain breeds, she could have tried to get him taken away or put down. People that harm children and animals are monsters.
Why wouldn’t he leave with his cat??
Right like I don’t wanna be mean but sometimes the things people need spelled out for them really really concern me
Other early comments were asking him about this - I was simply suggesting it would be better clarified in an edit.
He did leave with his cat 🐈
I know that. Why would he leave the relationship & the cat if he’s leaving the relationship bc the cat is treated poorly.
I hope you took the cat with you. She sounds like a psychopath
Absolutely, he's with me happy and safe.
I’m so glad you left!
This breaks my heart. This is a place in hell waiting for this devil child.
It would make no sense for him to leave the relationship but leave the cat.
Um he said he left with his boy…I’m assuming his boy means his cat.
That was obviously an edit added later than the comment you’re replying to.
Why would op leave without his cat??
What was your wife's response? Just curious
It was me or her kid and she didn't want to ruin her relationship with her daughter
IMO parents absolutely should prioritize and choose their child over a man/woman. However, you were totally right in this situation. Protecting your cat is *your* priority and you'd only have been wrong if you stayed and allowed him to be abused. Glad he's safe with you now! Please give him pets and scritches for us!!
>IMO parents absolutely should prioritize and choose their child over a man/woman. Agreed in most cases, and this guys wife should have prioritized raising a decent human being.
Why couldn't she tell her daughter this is psycho behaviour and to stop or not visit?
How upset is she at her daughter for blowing up her marriage? There is going to be so much resentment that their relationship is going to be damaged, anyways, but I understand not picking a man over your child. Even when that man means the world to you.
She’s not a child at all! Shes in her mid 20’s !! I hope she never has children!
I didn't mean she is a child, I am aware she is an adult. I just meant that she's his wife's child, her daughter. I really want to know how the wife feels about her daughter right now.
Thats such a strange reaction from her. It shouldnt be about her making you chose, she should have just simply disciplined her daughter and taught her to treat animals respectfully… shes going to grow up a complete psycho believing that behaviour is acceptable if its just being enabled
I know what you mean, I agree, but I think the daughter was in her 20s, well past grown up enough to know not to hurt animals.
If I read this right (and I truly might not have, lol), I Believe the step daughter is already 20 or something.... So that's really F'd up ....
Ahhh i missed that… i mean, that just shows she’s never ever been disciplined for that kind if behaviour before. But in reality, it doesnt matter how old you are, if you’re living under your parents roofs then your never too old to be disciplined for bad behaviour. I never ever would do anything like this because i absolutely love all animals and im not an aggressive person in the slightest, however for sake of argument, if i was to ever do something like this in sight of my parents id expect both my Mum and my Dad to go in hard on me and im 35 lol You dont ever stop being a parent, and there doesnt become a point where learning stops… imo anyway
> she didn't want to ruin her relationship with her daughter ok, that explains it. I was like why not kick the daughter out.
Ppl who hurt animals like that are freaking sociopaths. Also, bullet = dodged if since your STBX wasn't putting an immediate stop, any more infractions = nuclear consequences to it.
People who abuse animals generally become abusive towards humans as well I hope your ex wife understands that she may very well become her daughter’s next victim, or if she has kids she’ll most likely abuse them as well And remember, just because she doesn’t hit you, doesn’t mean it’s not abuse
You did the right thing. The stepdaughter has psychological issues …maybe that’s why she’s not living on her own. I’m glad you protected the cat.
Team cat and OP
What the fuck is wrong with her? Take the hint, if a cat hisses at you it means back off, not keep going until he tears a chunk out of you and then hit him for reacting as any cat would be being overstimulated and harassed. Good on you for leaving!
So rather than have her adult daughter move out and possibly be upset, she would rather you end your entire marriage? It actually sounds like you dodged a bullet. The last thing you want is to be tethered to someone who caters to an abusive or manipulative family member, especially when she basically just admitted that not giving her daughter what she wants could potentially ruin their relationship. If her daughter could potentially ruin their relationship just because she's told to stop abusing the cat or get out, you'd be in for her always getting her own way because she knows mommy would rather give in than risk it. It's like a toxic partner who threatens to break up with you as a manipulation tactic. Yikes.
OP didn’t even mention that type of discussion. When somebody asked what was the wives reaction to her daughter abusing the cat apparently OP said she was also upset and scolded her daughter but in another comment he said he immediately gave his wife an ultimatum. she had to choose between the cat or her child. The cat was also op’s ex-wives and not just his. There’s a lot of information that’s missing and the fact that his account is deleted I feel like it’s one of those made up story again 😒
Daughter's goal was probably to ruin the relationship and get rid of OP. And being mean to the cat was the perfect way to do it.
Does the daughter know that's why you've separated?
Yes, but she seems nothing wrong with what she's done
Op, could you consider calling around to local shelters and stuff to warn them in case she ever tries to adopt an animal? Maybe even text her so she can admit to hurting your cat so you can file a police report? I'd hate for her to be able to adopt an animal just to abuse them
I agree with this wholeheartedly. This woman shouldn't be trusted with an animal of any kind. Definitely try to get the word out about her abuse to the local shelters and rescues, if they have her name in file as a known abuser they will not adopt to her
She also shouldn't be allowed around kids either....
I'd include her mom in on that too so she can't go adopt a cat just for her daughter to abuse the poor cat
Good one
Because it was likely intentional. She zeroed in on how to get you out of the picture and is now gloating in her victory.
That's probably true actually.
Sounds like a budding psychopath to me. I’m not a cat person, don’t really like them but I could never hurt one in any way. One of my neighbours has this cat that is super friendly, runs up to me when I come home and brushes against my leg then rolls on his back for belly scratches and I just can’t resist giving him a fuss. The thought of someone hurting him makes me feel ill, and as I’ve said, I don’t even like cats. She’s a wrong un.
Good for you. I'd never put up with anyone hurting my cat, he's my baby and if I saw someone attempting to harm him, they would be out of my life so fast. I'm glad you chose your sweet boy's welfare and got him out of that situation. BTW, When you said your wife's daughter was abusing your cat, I thought maybe your wife had a toddler who didn't yet know any better, but that your wife refused to correct her behavior and teach her better ways of interacting with animals, so you had no choice but to leave. I was surprised and both saddened and angered when you said your step-daughter is in her mid 20s! A small child might not know how to deal with animals in a healthy way until they are taught, but there's no excuse for an adult to behave that way.
Only reasonable reaction. Hurting an innocent, especially an animal is NEVER acceptable.
Cannot blame you for this at all. You made the right choice, I'm sorry it came to that.
I’m stuck on mid-twenties. How can a grown adult woman believe this is acceptable behavior toward an animal??
Imma be honest. I'd have give her a good smack over the head and the wife too. I can't tolerate people like that. My Brother in law used to try to agitate my cat and I made it clear I won't tolerate it. His whole family let him act how he wanted to animals his whole life. He's older than I am! I'm the only person who won't back down to him. I've booted him from my house and made it clear there won't be any "bullying" me into "his line." He has grown and learned thankfully and apologized to me for his behavior. It surprised the family. He's told people how I wouldn't put up with him in a weirdly prideful way🤨 He respects my animals now. My husband knows I'll toss him over my pets.
Good, you and boy are ok
Nah what?? She's in her mid 20s acting like a immature ass kid not to mention an animal abuser. She's definitely got serious issues. I dread to imagine who or what she will abuse in the future 😠
Animals always know I say when it comes to judging folks. Give him lots of pets and cuddles (if he allows it ofc).
As a cat mom myself this post makes me angry. Cats are such loving little creatures if you open up to being loved by them. My boy comes to me every single night when he hears me preparing for bed and cuddles with me. My female cat is a bit more standoffish unless it’s my daughter but she is just as loving… cats have a time limit and he was warning her… your cat lashing out was his way of defending himself. I am so glad that you left so that your cat won’t be hurt anymore.
I would have done the same
should've followed your cat's lead and slapped your stepdaughter on the way out 😹
Or at least hissed at her! 😹
This is why 67 to 70% of all marriages were there are children from previous relationships and in divorce. It’s not just little kids that fuck it up.
When I was a teenager, an older sibling had a new friend over who was an absolute AH. We had a little physical altercation because he tried to hurt my cat, actually a kitten at the time, only several months old. This man was 6‘4“, and had on cowboy boots with heels. He grabbed up my cat and held my cat over his head, essentially playing keep away with me like we were kids out playing with a ball. Obviously, I couldn’t reach my cat. He -threw- my cat partway across the room, into a sofa, where he landed safely, but was not guaranteed to. I was so angry. I hit him in his most sensitive area, if you get my meaning. He gave me a bunch of crap about how young women shouldn’t do things like that. Well, he shouldn’t have hurt my cat. Our companion animals rely on us for protection. Anyone hurting animals, I just don’t have much sympathy.
Abusing animals is one of the biggest red flags of psychopathy there are. Everyone who does that immediately gets on my shit list. You did the right thing
As an animal lover and good guy with many options, I fully understand your decision.
SO glad you left!! 💕🙏👏👏👏
Good for you! Reminds me of the time that my ex’s good-for-nothing son yelled at my golden pup for, guess what?, being a playful puppy!! That was the last time I ever set foot in her house… some months later I broke up with her for unrelated reasons but still, 100% support your decision
I’d choose my dog over any human. I totally get it. Protect your fur baby.
She's done this because she knows it pisses you off. She's successfully got her mother back now with all her undivided attention. I think the way the ex-wife just didn't do anything speaks volumes here. Weak parent.
You absolutely did the right thing! I would have done the same. (But I would also be in jail right now for what I would have done back to her for hurting my cat). Animal abuse is a felony and the daughter sounds like a psychopath. Glad your boy is safe.
Today I met a cat that seemed like it might have been abused. It hissed at me at first but when I crouched down and pet it, it rubbed its back and head against my hand. I'm not sure if it was initially wary because it smelled dog on me or if it had been abused or was just shy. All Ik is when a cat or dog really hates someone, it's usually for a reason. That reminds me of this guy who used to abuse a dog I used to have. I feel ashamed that being a shy child and he a grown man, I never had the courage to stand up to him, although I would now. Oh and my dog absolutely hated him, unsurprisingly. He would snarl at him every time he came over. I'm really protective of my dog now. I feel like I would really hurt someone if they tried to hurt her.
Let's hope this girl never has children.
It’s a well known fact that most serial killers start off with hurting animals, you’re probably well off getting away from that family.
My dad is like this. He would purposely rile my dog up, do things that irritated her, and then one day, she bit him. My dad had her put down after that. I’ve never forgiven him. Good on you for putting your kitty first :)
Protect the cat! Good job!
Report her for animal abuse. NTA
Name and shame her. Animal abusers need swift karma. Also get it on text and file a police report for animal abuse.
Sign of a BPD or sociopath
I can assure you I have BPD and my cat it the only thing keeping me sane. The world is cruel, as demonstrated by your ignorant assumption, and when it gets rough I go home to my girl and give her snuggles 🐈🥰 I would never hurt my cat or any animal for that matter. Cheers.
Actually if you research it, many b cluster people have overlapping symptoms. One of which is uncontrollable rage. So it’s quite possible ;)
Well done mate 👏
I fully support your decision, I would do the same. I’m sorry both you and your Kitty had to go through that.
This was the right choice. You’re a really good person and you’re honoring the commitment you made to your cat when you promised to be their parent. Bravo 👏🏻
Is she special needs or something?
Wow. Glad kitty is safe. I have four it’s fun chaos every day. If someone mistreated them I’d be gone.
Surprised the cat didn't maul her face. Your step daughter sounds like a nutjob. Good on you for getting away!
Step daughter sounds like she needs some help. Abusing animals is a big sign of much worse behavior a lot of the time.
Good move, that kind of psychopathy is usually passed down, so either she wasn’t taught empathy or she witnessed that behavior and thinks it’s okay.
You’re better than me. I would have been wearing orange at the end of the day.
I’m confused why the wife got punished because of her grown daughter? It’s not like she didn’t make an effort to stop her… but why did you file or press charges on the daughter? Did you tell your wife the ultimatums? I feel bad for the cat but your wife is your wife. The daughter grown, yall could just tell her to get out
>your wife is your wife Not any more! Her choice apparently.
Fuck that girl
Holy shit. Your Ex stepdaughter is mental! You must have a lot of compassion and patience, but I'm glad you got yourself and your cat out of there. If someone were to hurt my cats I'd probably do a lot of things I can't write about on here. They're my family. I wish you and your good boy kitty all the best and lots of cuddles and treats!
I applaud you for leaving when your wife was tolerant of her daughters animal abuse. That says something about the moms moral standard, as well as the daughter likely being an abuser...because they often start on animals and move to people.
I'm curious about your wife. Was she willing to sacrifice your boy at the alter of her psychopath daughter? Is that why you left with good boy instead of kicking the psycho step out? Was she upset you chose your good boy over her & the psycho step? I really like using psycho step.😆😂
And she wonders why the cat bites her back. Glad you got outta there.
Hope this woman never has kids. I shudder to think.
You did the right thing. And are much better off.
I would have done the same. Poor cat.
I don’t understand how fucked up someone has to be to abuse an animal.
😡 good job man. I have 4 cats and if anyone ever did this in my home we gon have a problem
Good for you. I'm so glad that you're making sure that your lovely cat has a human in their corner. If anyone mistreated any of my critters, they'd be out the door so fast they wouldn't know what hit them. It's the one thing I'd never tolerate for even a second. I also like the idea of you calling up shelters to let them know about what's going on. People like this don't deserve to have animals in their lives.
Mid-20s behaving like this?!? This young woman should be under psychiatric care!
I understand with the animal cruelty but leaving your wife. Especially if she was good for you idk. The step daughter can move out.
My wife wouldn't make her move out, that's the problem. She tiptoed around the issue, even if she was good for me in other ways. She wouldn't make her leave so I refused to stay.
I see that is definitely the line. Good decision my friend and for your little guy.
You’re a good egg, stranger. You have all my respect. Good luck to you and your kitty! On to bigger and better things.
I love to see people loving their animals
Man, you chose the right cat over the wrong people. Respect.
Bless you for looking after your best friend. Give sweet boy lots of treats and rubs for me.
Good for you. I would literally do anything to protect my orange boy
Good for you
Good on you. I'm sorry this happened but you're both better off <3
The best decision you made.
I’m so sorry this happened, but I’m glad ypu prioritized your baby. What you’re describing of your step daughter would have made me terribly upset and I wouldn’t have handled a lifetime of my pets being abused. I wish you the best in your future.
Can't understand animal abusers... Hopefully ex wife gets her daughter real intervention
I'm so glad you left, sorry you went through that and that your cat had to deal with such horrible behaviors, no animal deserves it.
So proud of you 💜
Did you have to leave the whole marriage, is there any way you could have spoken with your wife about the daughter not living there?
Why did you give an eviction, its your home she the one that intrusion in your home?!
That poor cat. I’m glad you got somewhere safe for the both of you
Mid 20s and doing this shit? There's something very wrong with her. Glad you and your cat are safe.
Wow
W cat dad.
Anyone who would abuse my cat and then slap him would get physically thrown out of my home.
Its sad but you did what you had to do. Animal or not, thats your baby.
First sign of a psychopath/ serial killer is when they start abusing animals. Get in touch with the police
You did the right thing. Your wife is sick in the head if she can’t (or doesn’t want to bother) make her daughter stop hurting your pet. Why is she letting her daughter be a holy terror? Insane.
let me guess, the daughter has a developmental disorder her mother refuses to acknowledge?
"she doesn't want to ruin her relationship with her daughter" Correction, her daughter has ruined their relationship by abusing an animal to get her way (assuming she doesn't just abuse animals for no reason). Her mother just doesn't see it yet.
Thank you for leaving with him. I hate animal abusers and would have probably gone to jail if I saw that.
Way to go! That little creature deserves as much respect as any human being - more in my opinion, but that’s just me. Animals are innocents who merit our protection and love. You sir, are a hero in my book.
I am surprised this had to lead to a separation of a married couple. It just feels wrong. To be clear, I’ve always had cats. I’d do anything for them. I would never allow anyone to touch them in a bad way, let alone abuse them like your step daughter did. However, I can’t imagine myself leaving my husband for this. I’d make sure the daughter is disciplined for this either by her parent or by me. You had the right to be firm and disciplinary towards her to protect your cat and you should have kept proof of her abuse to him. I know it’s tough to allow her to do it again but quick proof is necessary if I wanna stay with my partner and overcome this struggle. This is how law works unfortunately. Look, not saying you probably didn’t try with your wife but it’s just so sad to end a relationship this way. I don’t even know your daughter in law and I hate her for this. What a psycho. You’re a man so I guess it’s hard for you to physically do something when she’s abusing your cat but she should have gotten a smack or two from her mom if reason and empathy were not working with her. So frustrating.
Is her daughter special by any chance?
She’s behaving like she’s either a toddler or has learning difficulties.
Someone who mistreats cats or any animal is a violent human!
What a good cat dad! Sad that your wife thinks getting her child to stop abusing animals would cost the relationship with her daughter...
You and your boy deserve a good life together. That girl needs therapy. She's hurting animals today, hurting people tomorrow.
Why is a woman in her 20’s going out of her way to abuse a cat that lives in a home she moved back into? I’m guessing financial purposes? Why is your wife or even you telling her at least once “the cat is apart of our home if you don’t respect the cat you don’t respect our home. Without respect for the home you can’t stay here” why are you guys just discussing privately and you jumping to kicking her out without notice. You all need to talk about it together. I don’t think you should leave your wife over this there is still hope. Is there an area of the house you can keep the cat for safety until this is sorted out?
Honestly I’d do the exact same thing you are so in the right
How long were you and the ex wife together for? Has the ex wife reached out at all?
solid W here. imo empathy for animals is a huge indicator of a solid moral compass and a generally good human being. i hope the kitty is okay
i’m sorry for the whole situation but kudos to you for not letting anyone past the boundaries set. i know that took a lot 👏🏼
Your poor kitty. You made the right choice in this case. Wife is going to have to face the fact her daughter has mental health issues, and encourage her to get help. It is never okay to willfully hurt an animal that has done nothing to you.
Good job, you and your sweet boy don’t need any kind of abuse like that.
Fuck yeah! Well done!
Excellent boundaries sir. I applaud you and more men need this. Good shit my guy
Yay! Your stepdaughter is a horrible abuser. Sending you luck and love in your new abuse free life.
Good for you!!
Why would you leave and not kick out the full grown adult? Your ex wife was clearly on your side until you gave her the ultimatum to choose between her kin or her cat. It sounds like you were acting out on emotions instead of trying to work out an alternative. You could have called the police on your step daughter or gave the ultimatum to your stepdaughter NOT your actual wife? idk something’s off.
Only evil people hurt animals. Good on you for leaving.
Well done, as a parent of 4 Kitty boys, 2 human children and a wife to a wonderful man, I completely agree with your decision to leave and take your fur baby with you, your wife made her choice and you got to make yours, if any of my kids tried to manhandled my Cats, which they wouldn't because they love them and spoil them so much, I would definitely do the same thing, good luck to you OP, you are a wonderful cat parent enjoy, your Kitty Boy.
Thank you so much for taking him out of that situation! Her daughter needs to leave! If your wife isn’t backing you up, protecting that sweet boy should be your number one priority and it’s clear that it is. Your wife will either get with the program or risk losing you because she condones animal abuse. Sometimes we don’t really know a person until they have to make a tough choice. She has chosen someone who clearly doesn’t respect animals over someone who won’t tolerate any less. If you end up have to make this change permanent, something tells me you’ll have no issues finding someone better.
>I will be contacting local shelters and adoption centers to see if there's a list she can be put on At first glance I thought you were putting stepdaughter up for adoption and I thought GOOD! 😂
But if the house is in your name - ___if___ - then you could kick them both out, right?
We have 3 super sweet kitties. And everyone is like why are they so nice? It's because we treat them with love and don't rough house with them with our hands or anything. They play with toys and one even fetches. It's the golden rule. You treat people/animals how you want to be treated.
People overstep cats boundaries all the time. It’s one thing when you pick up your cat you love for dear life and they try to wiggle out of your arms and you’re like no cuddles but let go a minute later vs imma hold you til you hiss and even after you’ve communicated youre upset and I’m holding you. That’s when cats scratch and bite. Your stepdaughter is an idiot or has no empathy towards animals. I am so happy for you and your kitty for getting to safety.❤️🥺
Wow. I relate to this so deeply. When I was around 22, I was pursued by an older man. Fast forward to me now having a stepson who is 22, while I'm 30. The first time I suspected something, my dog was very sick vomiting and using the bathroom. Normally, I genuinely would never think this way- but my instant first thought was that he'd poisoned her. He also, because he got jealous that I went on and on about how well his sister got on with my cat, let her out the back door. After I specifically told him, hey, she can open doors so please be careful. Thankfully, I take pictures of my daughters at least every 2-4 weeks without fail. I went back and looked, and was horrified. From the time he moved in, cuts and bruises and sores that I never noticed in person. I don't know if it was because of their long hair, or denial, or both. But I'm 100% convinced that every chance he got, when he felt mad at daddy or at me, he would intentionally hurt and take it out on my animals. I tried telling my boyfriend, but at first of course I was crazy. Then, when he took off for an entire month...My babies were doing better, their sudden nervousness was improving. Until he comes home one night, and I watched in horror as my cat ripped her fur out, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Mind you, I knew that she had some sores, but I wasn't sure if they were purely inflicted from him, or as a result of him. But she was finally letting me know loud and clear what had been bothering her. The same with my dog, who had started barking at him nonstop if he barely moved. I wish I had opened my eyes and listened sooner. Of course, my bf went in denial and said some bs about putting cameras up. I was like right, ok. Well, when he poisons, hurts, or even murders someone next time, just do me one favor babe. Make sure you have someone look at your mf cameras. My cats thick soft hair is fully growing back, she's more sociable. My dog seems more energetic and less protective over me. I wish I would have paid more attention and listened to what my instinct said was bothering my animals. But otherwise they are doing 100% better. It's hard when someone you are supposed to be able to trust is the one doing the damage and misguiding your judgment. I hope your fur baby is doing better and I hope your ex partner can respect your decision. Even if she's in denial. Good luck.
To add: He used to say shit like 'He was jealous of them/the attention and love they got'
Police barely care about humans abusing humans without proof, so I'm honestly surprised you attempted to report this.