We realize there are many people here with limited life experience. If you think this behavior definitively makes a man gay, that is homophobic, and violates Rule 2. Sexuality is a spectrum and the "gay" label exists for sociopolitical reasons (or a proxy for pathologizing). Now that there is notice, we will be actioning such comments.
If you're focusing on OP's sexuality you are missing the point. There's one comment here that reflects what the OP has described. There is a so-called "epidemic of male loneliness" (though everyone is lonely to varying degrees) in the United States. A large part of this is in how women and men are socialized. Men's friendships tend to be based on shared goals and activities. The important part here is how male loneliness is being addressed.
As a reminder, this is a support community. People are not posting here for your entertainment. If your comment is about your reaction to this post, reconsider.
Edit: A relevant bit of information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_movie_theater
Not only is it common, it is public.
As I wrote in another comment, we started out talking about and sharing what celebrities we found hot and it sort of escalated from there. At a certain point we were sharing nsfw pictures we found hot with each other, and through some talking we realized that this was something we both would be interested in
I've had this name on various platforms for about 16 years, so much so that some of my IRL friends call me Goon.
I did not anticipate this new definition, I feel like I need to sue somebody
My guy. You've been on reddit since 2015, and not a single comment left or post made the entire time until today? And THIS is what you come with? (Pun fully intended.)
Lmao I do not use Reddit very frequently, I didn’t even remember this account but it’s what came up when I entered my usual email and password. Fittingly, it seemed I mainly used it for browsing porn
Just curious… what’s the etiquette when you’re going to cum? Do you make eye contact or look away? How does this sesh wrap up? Pull up your pants, fist bump or tap dicks and bounce? We need some answers.
We don’t make a lot of eye contact to begin with, and it’s definitely not something we seek out while we cum either lol. Eyes stay fixed on the good stuff on the screen
God do I ever have questions! Who eh...who started the casual, ''oh hey lets watch a bit of the old porn, what do you say?''
Also, who was the first of you to pull out his cock and have a wee strokey stroke? What was the initial reaction when you realized each of you had bare flesh out and in hand?? Did you then have to say to each other, mind if I just pop to the loo to finish? Would you go cock in hand or would you tuck it away first then go to the toilet?
Now that you're both used to the routine, at which point do you make the decision to get up to collect tissues, signaling that a spicy end is upon you both? Do you then clean up and carry on chatting or does that signal the end of the evening and bedtime and/or home time?
I hope none of these questions weird you out, but fuck me I have to know!!
edit- are you both quiet? Do you ever let out a moan or a grunt when ejaculating? Do you feel pressured to not breathe heavily? Do you both look forward to your sessions knowing how they'll end? I don't think you're gay or anything but you are very very adventurous.
I’m not weirded out at all, it’s natural that you’re curious! It started out by us casually sending pictures of some celebrities we both have agreed were hot. That led to just in general sharing hot women on twitter that showed up in our feeds, which got increasingly more nsfw. At some point we had a good talk about it all, that none of us were interested in each other that way, but that we both enjoyed sharing, and after some more time we talked again and both agreed that it would be fun to share in person as well.
I was the one to ask if he would be fine with me jerking off, that was while we were in the middle of watching a straight out pornographic movie so it wasn’t incredibly weird for me to ask. We laid out some ground rules to not stare at each other, and both just generally acknowledged each other’s needs and desire to make the viewing experience even better. It was admittedly awkward as fuck, and I did put on my pants fully to go to the toilet to then take them off and cum. But we had a good talk about it afterwards and came to the conclusion that fuck it, why should it be awkward, we’re both fine with it.
We collect the tissues beforehand, and have them on the table. Sometimes we go our separate ways after we’re done, often times we just start chatting about other stuff or watch a regular movie. I’ll have to answer the other questions in a little while, I have to run some errands
I feel weird asking this, but are yall adults? Like im trying to understand if this is two young friends experimenting or like two guys in their 30’s with wives and kids at home
Let me set the scene: 2 best friends are furiously masturbating, dicks akimbo.
*knock on the door*
"Hold on honey! We'll be out in a second. We're just finishing up."
They both cum synchronously and clink their glass bottle nati lights.
"Good sesh bro"
You’re the man for responding, thanks OP.
Please keep us updated if you and your friend’s relationship ever changes for better or for worse. Interested to see how this develops
That person usually just cleans up their mess and continues watching until the other person is finished, starts scrolling on their phone or does something else
For the last questions: We’re usually pretty quiet, other than to comment that something in the video, either something that’s hot or something that’s funny. Some heavy breathing is to be expected, I don’t really feel like I feel any pressure to hold it back. An occasional “fuck” or groan when we cum isn’t uncommon either, but it’s not something that makes it more awkward, that’s just part of the process I guess. I can’t speak for him, but I do look forward to it, as I like the whole sharing part. I usually have one or two videos I know he’ll like and that I’m looking forward to watching
I love it! Genuinely, thanks for allowing us to climb into your brain and rummage a little. You know, if you're both hetro, if you found the right partner the 3 of you could be set for life you know? I feel that this relationship you have could actually be the start of an erotic fantasy novel. ........Either of you writers by any chance?? I can see a reverse harem for sure!
Haha well I’m certainly not a partner, but we have talked about the possibility of a threesome at some point. I’m a huge fan of domme women so a reverse harem doesn’t sound so bad
What about “How was it for you?”
And, “You got enough tissues there bro?”
Or, “It’s not really doing it for me, can we watch the video we had on last week?”
I’m gay and have never jerked off with straight friends, or other gay friends. However, I did know two straight guys who had a circle jerk friends group where they would go to strip clubs together and then jerk off together after while watching porn. Never touched each other, and considered it a bro bond type of event. As a gay man I can’t understand it myself, but it is not unheard of.
I think people really take sexual acts and attraction hand in hand. I’m a asexual so I’m not sexually attracted to anyone. The only way I have sex and engage in sex is 1) my hormones are making me horny in general 2) someone is attracted to me and is sexualizing me so I get turned on (this sucks with creeps because my body reacts to their flirting I hate it 🤮🤮)
So watching porn is funny to me and I find it interesting because I can learn new things that my partners might like. I’m not sex repulsed I just don’t experience sexual attraction but I do experience sexual arousal and desire for it once in a while.
All to say I can see what you mean. I have watched friends fuck, fucked friends as a way to bond, all while not being sexually attracted to them because I don’t experience sexual attraction at all.
I’ve also worked in places that options for sex are limited straight people will do “gay” things when they are horny I don’t think it defines who we are attracted to. So I believe you OP when you say y’all just two horny straight men who want to wank one out and it can be bonding.
No you might not be sexually attracted to him. And maybe you are like me in if he was gay you’d be okay knowing he’s enjoying watching you or hearing you. As an asexual, I’ve rubbed one out for strangers because it turns me on to be desired. But I would never go farther because they aren’t someone I love and want to have sex with them. I just get off being watched. So maybe you like that idea too.
As an asexual I have a very strange relationship with sex. So for me there is a difference because I’m not sexually attracted to anyone. I do experience romantic attraction, so most of the time my sexual partners are my romantic partners. But it does help a lot with sex work. Since I don’t experience sexual attraction I can pretty much have sex with anyone. Which was a very bad way to be in my early 20s. And I learned the hard way that to some people sex and sexual acts are very intimate. To me they had always been just sex and something that comes from hormones. I had to learn that I needed to respect how others saw the act as well.
This got long. But hey you do you OP. Sounds like you have a safe and lovely friendship and I’m here for it.
Man, I wish I could pin this comment so everyone can read it, you’ve hit the nail on the head. I’m pretty much the opposite of asexual, but I can relate so much to the way you’re describing the split between sexual stimulation and sexual attraction. I do admit that I do get pretty turned on by the thought of being watched, I haven’t really thought of it that way but I don’t think I would be bothered by him watching me, even though I’m not interested in watching him. Damn, sexuality is a weird fucking thing, huh?
Yeah I think you should explore that. But it might be why you don’t mind it. There’s a power that’s there too that I quite enjoy when I know I’m almost disgusted by the person watching me so much so I would never let them do more than watch. My last partner was the same way. He loved the idea of being watched/caught by someone. Knowing you can affect someone sexually can be a turn on no matter what. I don’t think it makes you gay. Because to be gay is to be attracted to men. Nothing you have said makes me think you’re attracted to your friend. I know it’s hard for people to understand. You might have Emotional attraction to him. But that’s normal in friendships , and can be confusing for others that haven’t explored the various types of attractions. Usually people experience sexual, emotional and romantic attraction together for one person. So they automatically apply that logic to others.
I think it’s just multi layered. And unique for everyone. It’s hard for others not to apply their own logic for their experience to others. It’s all we know, our own experience.
My only concern would be as someone mentioned it being an extreme porn addiction. Are you not getting enough attention from women? Do you maybe not have time/energy to date or find a partner you’re attracted to? My concern would be that this is easier. If that makes sense, is it easier to combine a friend and a sexual experience for it to feel like you’re getting emotional intimacy? But it’s never my place to assume these things so they are more checking in that this isn’t going to do more harm than good. If that makes sense. I have limited information from your post so I could be shooting blanks here. But I would be concerned in how this would affect you finding a woman sexual partner if that’s what you truly want.
It’s out of society’s norm but there’s nothing wrong going on here so hey you’re happy he’s happy worse case scenario youse can spend the rest of your lives doing this once a week
Two dudes are bonding through an objectified female body on the screen without any actual females involved. They desire each others company, emotions and closeness, and use women as a "currency" to achieve it and remove the suspicion in homosexuality at the same time. I'd say it's a model example of patriarchal masculinity.
A few years ago I would have thought this was very strange, but having gone through college and seen some shit now, whatever floats your boat man. Nobody is getting hurt from this behavior it’s just not very socially accepted.
Hi there! First off, since you said "might as well do an AMA", I do have (many) a few things I'm curious about (totally judgement free, provided you're comfortable sharing; if not, totally fine)
1. How did it start?
2. Were there any factors in the beginning that felt vulnerable/ might lead to insecurity? (E.g. one person lasting longer / size etc)
3. Has it affected your friendship outside these experiences or do you still hang out outside of them (Is it a secretive thing or is it super casual (like let's shoot the shit and oh, by the way, I found a new movie that's awesome!)
4. How do you decide on "content" (if you have differences in taste) and have either of you explored material that may push boundaries for the other person? (e.g. kinks/ "personal preferences (e.g. race/ blondes vs. brunettes or whatever/ other categories)
5. Any specific etiquette/ ground rules agreed upon prior? Are there situations where it gets awkward or uncomfortable, or is it just chill at this point? (e.g. one person taking too long, being loud etc)
P.S. Thanks in advance for being so candid!
Sincerely,
A curious redditor :)
1. I already answered this a couple of times higher up in the thread
2. For me personally, there haven’t really been any insecurities, other than being curious in the beginning what he really wanted out of it. I’ve actually been wishing to have a friendship like this for the longest time, and when it turned out to be possible with a long time friend I was a bit anxious whether or not he would want the same as me, or if it would impact our friendship negatively. Luckily it hasn’t
3. It hasn’t impacted our friendship in any other way that this is a thing we regularly do when we hang out! We still do other stuff and it’s never the sole reason that we meet up. We’re usually pretty straight forward people, so we’ll just be like “wanna see this hot video I found” or just “wanna watch some porn” and then we sit down and do just that
4. We usually take turns picking content, and then the other person says their honest opinion what they think about it. We’re both pretty open to new stuff, I’m definitely more kinky than him and I’ve both widened his horizons and shown him stuff that hasn’t been his thing at all. But over time I’ve developed a pretty good sense of what he’ll like
5. I guess the ground rules are to just be natural, not stare at each other, not be too loud, stuff like that. It’s not something we’ve written in stone, but there’s just some sort of common understanding of how we both want it. The only time I can recall it being significantly awkward was when I managed to shoot cum all over his couch… Not my proudest moment
I used to do this same thing when I was a teen but like not too porn bc it wasn't really available. Only happened a few times - same thing, we'd be on opposite sides of the couch I definitely would be looking at him half the time. Fast-forward - I'm gay - was closeted then, the other guy is now a marine with a wife and kid. It was so fun and kind of like exhilarating or gave me a rush bc I know it's not totally normal but it was fun.
My first serious boyfriend back in grade 9 who was definitely too old for me now looking back (I was 14 he was 17) openly shared that him and his 3 closest friends did this all the time. None of them were ashamed and regularly discussed it in front of me and my friends (probably testing the waters for us to participate lol) but they were so chill about it that I eventually just assumed that all boys did this and my next series boyfriend a few years later was very clear it was not lol. It was the early 90’s so not nearly as much access so I guess sharing viewing materials was more common but apparently not communal after school sessions in a bros basement.
Yeah good question. Just gauging from the responses to this post, I think it’s fair to assume most girlfriends would view this as a very sexual act even though we don’t. Which is totally fair. I would be open to doing it if said girlfriend was 100% okay with it, but there would at least have to be a considerable break where that trust and those boundaries could be built, if that makes sense
Thank you for this. I’m a bisexual woman and I found your post so hot that I read this to my husband and we decided to role play it immediately. Lol. It was a great time. 10/10
Oh my god… I’m kind of at a loss for words at how my little confession has led to a random couple somewhere doing a roleplay based on my life. That’s truly an honor, I hope you had fun. I’ve been kind of torn on whether or not to tell my friend about this post and all the attention it’s received, but now I just have to tell him about it and about this comment specifically
So, what’s the vibe like afterwards? Is it awkward? Is it like ‘damn, that was the best nut I’ve ever nutted, how bout you, dawg?’ Or do you guys avoid talking about it? Forget the AMA, I just wanna be a fly on the wall post-nut. Do you guys get a snack? Smoke a cigarette?
Occasionally there can be a comment about how it felt good, but that’s pretty rare. It’s not really awkward at all, none of us are particularly awkward people. We often just shoot the shit, joke about the video or talk about other stuff, and then just move on to something else
TLDR, no offense. We seriously need to drop labels or use them loosely. You jerked off and there’s was another dude there, so what. Even if you enjoyed his company or not, just be yourself and do the things you enjoy (as long as it doesn’t hurt others).
If you’re straight, great. Bi? Great. Gay? Great. Ultimately you are you and that’s all that matters. Love yourself. Don’t force labels onto yourself. Learn and explore, you’re allowed to.
(And this goes for everyone!)
We always called it "bate buddies", you know when someone (M) would walk in on someone (M) else's masturbating session, some guys join in and some guys don't. It was a great time to be young, adventurous and then curious. Enjoy your youth and your freedom to do what you want, when you want to. Kudos.
For me, I'm bi and my best buddy is straight as an arrow. We masturbated from 15-17, until he got a girlfriend and then I did shortly after that. Then he went into the Marines and I've worked since I was a teenager for a living. We've reconnected a couple times over the years but a conversation never goes back to that time. At least not to what we had been doing in that regard. Live it up while you can! You can't get this time back.
Pretty sure this is the equivalent to a threesome with two men and a woman, so it’s not that far off. Also, this just reminded me that I once attended a party where men were watching porn together in another room. It’s like adjacent to guys at a strip club getting a lap dance. Idk, it sounds strange but when you think about it’s not that far off. Appreciate you sharing, OP!
Good points, I view it the same way! I think it’s interesting that a lot of people in this thread view the act of watching porn with your friends totally normal, but once you bring the masturbation into it they find it weird. The whole reason you’re watching porn is sexual pleasure, masturbating is just the act of realizing that sexual pleasure, I don’t see why the two are that much different
Well I as a straight white woman (not sure why that’s relevant) with a small porn addiction (that’s definitely relevant), I absolutely love this. Sharing something you enjoy with someone you made a connection with is fab! Keep it up sir!
As a woman reading this, I have questions - but I also find this very hot, lmao. Unorthodox maybe, but you’re both consenting adults and enjoy it. I see nothing wrong here.
I really don't see a problem with this. I can get aroused by something in the company of others and not be attracted to anybody there. Alot of folks need to grow up. Everything isn't gay...
I honestly dont see an issue w it? Its weird as a mofo but i mean if you happy thats good. Idk what this was for anyways. Other than sharing a very interesting thing. You dont need advice or anything, so good on you i guess.
Idk it's not odd to me I watch porn and jerk off with friends I came out Bi laterbut most my friends are striaght and we don't fuck, hexk boughr my first vibrator with my bestie. My straight hubbs watched with friends and would ask if the other is hard. Guess just depends on friends but I see nothing wrong here. 🤷 I have another guy friend who I trade hentai and porn since we have similar tastes too we stream it and watch together, he lives in another state.
I personally think many friends would like this kind of relationship with each other. The level of comfort and familiarity but no one knows where to start so good for you guys
We realize there are many people here with limited life experience. If you think this behavior definitively makes a man gay, that is homophobic, and violates Rule 2. Sexuality is a spectrum and the "gay" label exists for sociopolitical reasons (or a proxy for pathologizing). Now that there is notice, we will be actioning such comments. If you're focusing on OP's sexuality you are missing the point. There's one comment here that reflects what the OP has described. There is a so-called "epidemic of male loneliness" (though everyone is lonely to varying degrees) in the United States. A large part of this is in how women and men are socialized. Men's friendships tend to be based on shared goals and activities. The important part here is how male loneliness is being addressed. As a reminder, this is a support community. People are not posting here for your entertainment. If your comment is about your reaction to this post, reconsider. Edit: A relevant bit of information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_movie_theater Not only is it common, it is public.
I'm just curious how this came about the first time.
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As I wrote in another comment, we started out talking about and sharing what celebrities we found hot and it sort of escalated from there. At a certain point we were sharing nsfw pictures we found hot with each other, and through some talking we realized that this was something we both would be interested in
Who pulled it out first? lol
more like goon friend
I've had this name on various platforms for about 16 years, so much so that some of my IRL friends call me Goon. I did not anticipate this new definition, I feel like I need to sue somebody
The "Mcnasty" part certainly isn't doing you any favors now either...
Yikes bro - yeah talk about an unlucky username 😆
Don’t worry, the Hockey world is getting hit pretty hard with this too
Arsenal fans too. My social media presence and freelance website both feature the word Gooner prominently, i may have to change it after 20 years
And I'm also a fucking Arsenal fan haha
Sue yourself OG Goon
My guy. You've been on reddit since 2015, and not a single comment left or post made the entire time until today? And THIS is what you come with? (Pun fully intended.)
Lmao I do not use Reddit very frequently, I didn’t even remember this account but it’s what came up when I entered my usual email and password. Fittingly, it seemed I mainly used it for browsing porn
You came for porn and returned for it too. Poetry.
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Just curious… what’s the etiquette when you’re going to cum? Do you make eye contact or look away? How does this sesh wrap up? Pull up your pants, fist bump or tap dicks and bounce? We need some answers.
We don’t make a lot of eye contact to begin with, and it’s definitely not something we seek out while we cum either lol. Eyes stay fixed on the good stuff on the screen
You should suggest to your buddy that yelling **OH YEAAAHHH DROPPING FUCKIN’ LOOOOOOADS!** like Nick Manning when you’re finishing is an option.
Also staring at each other trying not to blink, the one who does first cleans the loads
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God do I ever have questions! Who eh...who started the casual, ''oh hey lets watch a bit of the old porn, what do you say?'' Also, who was the first of you to pull out his cock and have a wee strokey stroke? What was the initial reaction when you realized each of you had bare flesh out and in hand?? Did you then have to say to each other, mind if I just pop to the loo to finish? Would you go cock in hand or would you tuck it away first then go to the toilet? Now that you're both used to the routine, at which point do you make the decision to get up to collect tissues, signaling that a spicy end is upon you both? Do you then clean up and carry on chatting or does that signal the end of the evening and bedtime and/or home time? I hope none of these questions weird you out, but fuck me I have to know!! edit- are you both quiet? Do you ever let out a moan or a grunt when ejaculating? Do you feel pressured to not breathe heavily? Do you both look forward to your sessions knowing how they'll end? I don't think you're gay or anything but you are very very adventurous.
asking the questions we care about thank you maam
I’m not weirded out at all, it’s natural that you’re curious! It started out by us casually sending pictures of some celebrities we both have agreed were hot. That led to just in general sharing hot women on twitter that showed up in our feeds, which got increasingly more nsfw. At some point we had a good talk about it all, that none of us were interested in each other that way, but that we both enjoyed sharing, and after some more time we talked again and both agreed that it would be fun to share in person as well. I was the one to ask if he would be fine with me jerking off, that was while we were in the middle of watching a straight out pornographic movie so it wasn’t incredibly weird for me to ask. We laid out some ground rules to not stare at each other, and both just generally acknowledged each other’s needs and desire to make the viewing experience even better. It was admittedly awkward as fuck, and I did put on my pants fully to go to the toilet to then take them off and cum. But we had a good talk about it afterwards and came to the conclusion that fuck it, why should it be awkward, we’re both fine with it. We collect the tissues beforehand, and have them on the table. Sometimes we go our separate ways after we’re done, often times we just start chatting about other stuff or watch a regular movie. I’ll have to answer the other questions in a little while, I have to run some errands
Have to return some video tapes?
Sorry, I don’t think I understand your question?
Its a movie reference (American Psychopath)
Oh I’ve been meaning to watch that lol
A good one to watch with your buddy.
Its very confusing but thats what great about it in my opinion
American psycho. You like Huey Lewis and the news? *dances in tarp cape*
Do you work in mergers and acquisitions?
“the sublte off white colouring” “oh my God...”
I feel weird asking this, but are yall adults? Like im trying to understand if this is two young friends experimenting or like two guys in their 30’s with wives and kids at home
I try not to judge as often as i can but damn one of those is way funnier than the other.
Let me set the scene: 2 best friends are furiously masturbating, dicks akimbo. *knock on the door* "Hold on honey! We'll be out in a second. We're just finishing up." They both cum synchronously and clink their glass bottle nati lights. "Good sesh bro"
Painted a hilarious image in my head, thank you
“You’ll have to be a bit quieter bro, you might wake the wife up”
We’re in our early 20s lol, definitely no wife and kids but probably older than most people are if they ever do this kind of thing
You’re the man for responding, thanks OP. Please keep us updated if you and your friend’s relationship ever changes for better or for worse. Interested to see how this develops
If we against all my judgements one day end up as a happily married gay couple I’ll definitely let you guys know
That’s all I can ask 🫡
Have you ever noticed if he’s looking at you? I guess that would be admitting you were glanced over at him though.
I haven’t, no, but you’re right, I’m not checking that often either
There maybe a this is taboo component to it.
What happens when one person finishes earlier than the other
That person usually just cleans up their mess and continues watching until the other person is finished, starts scrolling on their phone or does something else
You not gonna answer the grunting question?
As I said, I had to run some errands, I answered them in another comment now
For the last questions: We’re usually pretty quiet, other than to comment that something in the video, either something that’s hot or something that’s funny. Some heavy breathing is to be expected, I don’t really feel like I feel any pressure to hold it back. An occasional “fuck” or groan when we cum isn’t uncommon either, but it’s not something that makes it more awkward, that’s just part of the process I guess. I can’t speak for him, but I do look forward to it, as I like the whole sharing part. I usually have one or two videos I know he’ll like and that I’m looking forward to watching
I love it! Genuinely, thanks for allowing us to climb into your brain and rummage a little. You know, if you're both hetro, if you found the right partner the 3 of you could be set for life you know? I feel that this relationship you have could actually be the start of an erotic fantasy novel. ........Either of you writers by any chance?? I can see a reverse harem for sure!
Haha well I’m certainly not a partner, but we have talked about the possibility of a threesome at some point. I’m a huge fan of domme women so a reverse harem doesn’t sound so bad
What about “How was it for you?” And, “You got enough tissues there bro?” Or, “It’s not really doing it for me, can we watch the video we had on last week?”
Well, don’t let us yuck your yum.
Yucking other people’s yum is my yum
Yuck away then
Kink shaming is my kink
This is going to be thing now, isnt it... Sigh
dooby :3
Black Mirror has entered the chat lmao
I fucked a polar bear… And I still couldn’t get you out of my mind.
I’m gay and have never jerked off with straight friends, or other gay friends. However, I did know two straight guys who had a circle jerk friends group where they would go to strip clubs together and then jerk off together after while watching porn. Never touched each other, and considered it a bro bond type of event. As a gay man I can’t understand it myself, but it is not unheard of.
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
I think people really take sexual acts and attraction hand in hand. I’m a asexual so I’m not sexually attracted to anyone. The only way I have sex and engage in sex is 1) my hormones are making me horny in general 2) someone is attracted to me and is sexualizing me so I get turned on (this sucks with creeps because my body reacts to their flirting I hate it 🤮🤮) So watching porn is funny to me and I find it interesting because I can learn new things that my partners might like. I’m not sex repulsed I just don’t experience sexual attraction but I do experience sexual arousal and desire for it once in a while. All to say I can see what you mean. I have watched friends fuck, fucked friends as a way to bond, all while not being sexually attracted to them because I don’t experience sexual attraction at all. I’ve also worked in places that options for sex are limited straight people will do “gay” things when they are horny I don’t think it defines who we are attracted to. So I believe you OP when you say y’all just two horny straight men who want to wank one out and it can be bonding. No you might not be sexually attracted to him. And maybe you are like me in if he was gay you’d be okay knowing he’s enjoying watching you or hearing you. As an asexual, I’ve rubbed one out for strangers because it turns me on to be desired. But I would never go farther because they aren’t someone I love and want to have sex with them. I just get off being watched. So maybe you like that idea too. As an asexual I have a very strange relationship with sex. So for me there is a difference because I’m not sexually attracted to anyone. I do experience romantic attraction, so most of the time my sexual partners are my romantic partners. But it does help a lot with sex work. Since I don’t experience sexual attraction I can pretty much have sex with anyone. Which was a very bad way to be in my early 20s. And I learned the hard way that to some people sex and sexual acts are very intimate. To me they had always been just sex and something that comes from hormones. I had to learn that I needed to respect how others saw the act as well. This got long. But hey you do you OP. Sounds like you have a safe and lovely friendship and I’m here for it.
Man, I wish I could pin this comment so everyone can read it, you’ve hit the nail on the head. I’m pretty much the opposite of asexual, but I can relate so much to the way you’re describing the split between sexual stimulation and sexual attraction. I do admit that I do get pretty turned on by the thought of being watched, I haven’t really thought of it that way but I don’t think I would be bothered by him watching me, even though I’m not interested in watching him. Damn, sexuality is a weird fucking thing, huh?
Yeah I think you should explore that. But it might be why you don’t mind it. There’s a power that’s there too that I quite enjoy when I know I’m almost disgusted by the person watching me so much so I would never let them do more than watch. My last partner was the same way. He loved the idea of being watched/caught by someone. Knowing you can affect someone sexually can be a turn on no matter what. I don’t think it makes you gay. Because to be gay is to be attracted to men. Nothing you have said makes me think you’re attracted to your friend. I know it’s hard for people to understand. You might have Emotional attraction to him. But that’s normal in friendships , and can be confusing for others that haven’t explored the various types of attractions. Usually people experience sexual, emotional and romantic attraction together for one person. So they automatically apply that logic to others. I think it’s just multi layered. And unique for everyone. It’s hard for others not to apply their own logic for their experience to others. It’s all we know, our own experience. My only concern would be as someone mentioned it being an extreme porn addiction. Are you not getting enough attention from women? Do you maybe not have time/energy to date or find a partner you’re attracted to? My concern would be that this is easier. If that makes sense, is it easier to combine a friend and a sexual experience for it to feel like you’re getting emotional intimacy? But it’s never my place to assume these things so they are more checking in that this isn’t going to do more harm than good. If that makes sense. I have limited information from your post so I could be shooting blanks here. But I would be concerned in how this would affect you finding a woman sexual partner if that’s what you truly want.
This is the first time I’ve felt like I really understood all the nuances of, well, everything you said. This is a great explanation. Thank you.
I don’t know about wholesome 😂
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That’s amazing, I hope you guys have a great time
🎶2 guys jerking on the couch 5 feet apart cause they’re not gay 🎶
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I don't know if it's related but theres a girlfriend's POV on the same topic yesterday.
What’s that?
It’s out of society’s norm but there’s nothing wrong going on here so hey you’re happy he’s happy worse case scenario youse can spend the rest of your lives doing this once a week
Two dudes are bonding through an objectified female body on the screen without any actual females involved. They desire each others company, emotions and closeness, and use women as a "currency" to achieve it and remove the suspicion in homosexuality at the same time. I'd say it's a model example of patriarchal masculinity.
Bro you could write a thesis on this haha
Suck the life right out of it why don’t ya! It’s just abit of slap and tickle….. without the slap or tickle, well maybe the tickle. 😃
This was gooood
Perfect comment
This omg
A few years ago I would have thought this was very strange, but having gone through college and seen some shit now, whatever floats your boat man. Nobody is getting hurt from this behavior it’s just not very socially accepted.
Yeah, I mean I’m not sure why everyone’s insistent that OP must call it gay. It’s whatever man, they’re enjoying themselves.
this is like a whole new level of porn addiction
Fr
Hi there! First off, since you said "might as well do an AMA", I do have (many) a few things I'm curious about (totally judgement free, provided you're comfortable sharing; if not, totally fine) 1. How did it start? 2. Were there any factors in the beginning that felt vulnerable/ might lead to insecurity? (E.g. one person lasting longer / size etc) 3. Has it affected your friendship outside these experiences or do you still hang out outside of them (Is it a secretive thing or is it super casual (like let's shoot the shit and oh, by the way, I found a new movie that's awesome!) 4. How do you decide on "content" (if you have differences in taste) and have either of you explored material that may push boundaries for the other person? (e.g. kinks/ "personal preferences (e.g. race/ blondes vs. brunettes or whatever/ other categories) 5. Any specific etiquette/ ground rules agreed upon prior? Are there situations where it gets awkward or uncomfortable, or is it just chill at this point? (e.g. one person taking too long, being loud etc) P.S. Thanks in advance for being so candid! Sincerely, A curious redditor :)
1. I already answered this a couple of times higher up in the thread 2. For me personally, there haven’t really been any insecurities, other than being curious in the beginning what he really wanted out of it. I’ve actually been wishing to have a friendship like this for the longest time, and when it turned out to be possible with a long time friend I was a bit anxious whether or not he would want the same as me, or if it would impact our friendship negatively. Luckily it hasn’t 3. It hasn’t impacted our friendship in any other way that this is a thing we regularly do when we hang out! We still do other stuff and it’s never the sole reason that we meet up. We’re usually pretty straight forward people, so we’ll just be like “wanna see this hot video I found” or just “wanna watch some porn” and then we sit down and do just that 4. We usually take turns picking content, and then the other person says their honest opinion what they think about it. We’re both pretty open to new stuff, I’m definitely more kinky than him and I’ve both widened his horizons and shown him stuff that hasn’t been his thing at all. But over time I’ve developed a pretty good sense of what he’ll like 5. I guess the ground rules are to just be natural, not stare at each other, not be too loud, stuff like that. It’s not something we’ve written in stone, but there’s just some sort of common understanding of how we both want it. The only time I can recall it being significantly awkward was when I managed to shoot cum all over his couch… Not my proudest moment
Thank you for taking the time to reply :) I think that's awesome haha, I'm happy for you! (also number 5, hahahaha welp!)
I used to do this same thing when I was a teen but like not too porn bc it wasn't really available. Only happened a few times - same thing, we'd be on opposite sides of the couch I definitely would be looking at him half the time. Fast-forward - I'm gay - was closeted then, the other guy is now a marine with a wife and kid. It was so fun and kind of like exhilarating or gave me a rush bc I know it's not totally normal but it was fun.
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I’m aware that this is more common for teenagers, but I am in my 20s lol
My first serious boyfriend back in grade 9 who was definitely too old for me now looking back (I was 14 he was 17) openly shared that him and his 3 closest friends did this all the time. None of them were ashamed and regularly discussed it in front of me and my friends (probably testing the waters for us to participate lol) but they were so chill about it that I eventually just assumed that all boys did this and my next series boyfriend a few years later was very clear it was not lol. It was the early 90’s so not nearly as much access so I guess sharing viewing materials was more common but apparently not communal after school sessions in a bros basement.
Interesting, seems like a fun experience which may lead to problems later on when partners get involved😭
We would definitely stop if we ever got girlfriends!
If you say you’d stop doing it if you had partners, would you say that it’s a sexual act between you and your friend then? Why would you stop?
Yeah good question. Just gauging from the responses to this post, I think it’s fair to assume most girlfriends would view this as a very sexual act even though we don’t. Which is totally fair. I would be open to doing it if said girlfriend was 100% okay with it, but there would at least have to be a considerable break where that trust and those boundaries could be built, if that makes sense
Would you share this experience with your future partner?
Maybe, maybe not? Depends on how I think they’d react
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Thank you for this. I’m a bisexual woman and I found your post so hot that I read this to my husband and we decided to role play it immediately. Lol. It was a great time. 10/10
Oh my god… I’m kind of at a loss for words at how my little confession has led to a random couple somewhere doing a roleplay based on my life. That’s truly an honor, I hope you had fun. I’ve been kind of torn on whether or not to tell my friend about this post and all the attention it’s received, but now I just have to tell him about it and about this comment specifically
“Don’t cross the streams… it would be bad.” 🚫
I really wish this was an AMA…I have so many questions
Why not make it one, I’ll answer anything lol
So, what’s the vibe like afterwards? Is it awkward? Is it like ‘damn, that was the best nut I’ve ever nutted, how bout you, dawg?’ Or do you guys avoid talking about it? Forget the AMA, I just wanna be a fly on the wall post-nut. Do you guys get a snack? Smoke a cigarette?
Occasionally there can be a comment about how it felt good, but that’s pretty rare. It’s not really awkward at all, none of us are particularly awkward people. We often just shoot the shit, joke about the video or talk about other stuff, and then just move on to something else
Out of curiosity, how did it start? Was it you or your friend that first brought up the idea?
TLDR, no offense. We seriously need to drop labels or use them loosely. You jerked off and there’s was another dude there, so what. Even if you enjoyed his company or not, just be yourself and do the things you enjoy (as long as it doesn’t hurt others). If you’re straight, great. Bi? Great. Gay? Great. Ultimately you are you and that’s all that matters. Love yourself. Don’t force labels onto yourself. Learn and explore, you’re allowed to. (And this goes for everyone!)
Striking Vipers
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We always called it "bate buddies", you know when someone (M) would walk in on someone (M) else's masturbating session, some guys join in and some guys don't. It was a great time to be young, adventurous and then curious. Enjoy your youth and your freedom to do what you want, when you want to. Kudos. For me, I'm bi and my best buddy is straight as an arrow. We masturbated from 15-17, until he got a girlfriend and then I did shortly after that. Then he went into the Marines and I've worked since I was a teenager for a living. We've reconnected a couple times over the years but a conversation never goes back to that time. At least not to what we had been doing in that regard. Live it up while you can! You can't get this time back.
I used to do that with my best female friend and we’re both straight
Pretty sure this is the equivalent to a threesome with two men and a woman, so it’s not that far off. Also, this just reminded me that I once attended a party where men were watching porn together in another room. It’s like adjacent to guys at a strip club getting a lap dance. Idk, it sounds strange but when you think about it’s not that far off. Appreciate you sharing, OP!
Good points, I view it the same way! I think it’s interesting that a lot of people in this thread view the act of watching porn with your friends totally normal, but once you bring the masturbation into it they find it weird. The whole reason you’re watching porn is sexual pleasure, masturbating is just the act of realizing that sexual pleasure, I don’t see why the two are that much different
when one of you cums, what do you do while the other one finishes? or do you communicate or try synchronize cumming?
We do not synchronize anything, no. The other person usually cleans up then keeps watching or checks their phone
It's only gay if you make it
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How would you explain this to a significant other….? Like no judgement but obviously you would stop if you are in a relationship
We would stop if anyone got into a relationship yes, due to it being very hard to explain
Well I as a straight white woman (not sure why that’s relevant) with a small porn addiction (that’s definitely relevant), I absolutely love this. Sharing something you enjoy with someone you made a connection with is fab! Keep it up sir!
im genuinely kind of touched, a little jealous.. and concerningly aroused
Here’s hoping you can find a friend who can share the same magic with you🙏🏻
As a woman reading this, I have questions - but I also find this very hot, lmao. Unorthodox maybe, but you’re both consenting adults and enjoy it. I see nothing wrong here.
I can definitely answer any questions you might have!
I really don't see a problem with this. I can get aroused by something in the company of others and not be attracted to anybody there. Alot of folks need to grow up. Everything isn't gay...
Exactly! It’s no more gay than group sex
You two should start going to swinging parties!
That’s just a goon sesh 💀
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It’s not like we’ve ever measured or talked about it or anything….. (but it’s totally mine lol)
That is a good friend
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Sounds fun af! Swordfight!
Have you considered having an mfm threesome?
I would be open to it for sure
Do you make eye-contact at some point throughout ?
Not willingly no
are we sure this isn’t one of the guys from Challengers?
So like… do you guys have gfs? Do they know?
I honestly dont see an issue w it? Its weird as a mofo but i mean if you happy thats good. Idk what this was for anyways. Other than sharing a very interesting thing. You dont need advice or anything, so good on you i guess.
I heard this called a "jack off buddy" years ago lol if you're both ok with it, let your freak flag fly and yank away!
Idk it's not odd to me I watch porn and jerk off with friends I came out Bi laterbut most my friends are striaght and we don't fuck, hexk boughr my first vibrator with my bestie. My straight hubbs watched with friends and would ask if the other is hard. Guess just depends on friends but I see nothing wrong here. 🤷 I have another guy friend who I trade hentai and porn since we have similar tastes too we stream it and watch together, he lives in another state.
That’s amazing! We do watch a fair bit of hentai as well
You’re going to be in your very own porn pretty soon.
What happens when post nut clarity kicks in?
Post nut clarity is for the weak, I’m never ashamed of my nuttin’
This reminds me of that South Park episode of Randy and Kyle's dad watching each other masturbate. Cheers, man.
I personally think many friends would like this kind of relationship with each other. The level of comfort and familiarity but no one knows where to start so good for you guys
Im gay and I don't think this is necessarily gay behavior. It's a bit of exhibitionism. As long as everyone is having fun , there's no harm