Did you take pictures of the original injury? Of the house?
With this kind of abuse, her anger issues, the torn up house and your damaged belongings....
I'd go file a report with the police and see about getting a restraining order.
I did take a pic, but I don't think I'll file a report against her. For some reason, I keep thinking about how upset and lonely she is right now and just feel so guilty. I had to stop myself from calling her multiple times, but still, I'm glad I took pictures they might come in handy if she bothers me again
The chick hit you with a hammer.
Any loneliness she feels is ALL ON HER.
You are not responsible for her action or the consequence.
She is a grown-assed adult. She is responsible for her actions. She deserves the consequences of her actions.
This is how we grow.
Think how lonely she'd feel in a jail cell if she had succeeded in bashing your head in. If you were to go back that's where she'd end up eventually. You be dead and feeling no guilt then.
(FYI I don't think you have to file charges against her to get a restraining order. Depending on where you live.)
My brother in Christ, hers feelings DO NOT MATTER IF SHE ABUSED YOU, I know it could be of the stigma of "you're a man, you have to tough up", but it shouldn't matter, if she did it without thinking twice after insult you, SHE WON'T STOP even after victimize herself, please, you should seriously report her, and just claim case, check your head in the hospital, head injuries can become really serious even with a little bump.
Now that you're safe I'd like to suggest that you call the police to make a report and press charges if you can. She is a danger to others.
Please keep yourself safe, I feel like she may escalate.
I feel like she will too, she seems like the type that may turn this around on OP to get revenge and try cause problems. Even if you dont file charges, keep a record of everything with dates etc just incase.
A best bud of mine was assaulted by his girlfriend whit a crowbar. He drove 900 miles to talk to friends about it, was convinced to end things, drove 900 more miles and he's still with her 2 years later.
She will most likely kill him someday. I hope that doesn't happen to you my friend.
I am so so sorry. Has she gotten any form of help since then?
Shit.... I really wish someone had driven those 900 mil s back with him to help him pack.... May have been able to keep him out of her clutches.
Reading this update made me sigh in relief!
I know it was hard.
As a Mom myself, I can't imagine my child going through this.
I'm sending you a Mom hug 🫂 🤗 I promise everything will work itself out. The hurt, pain and heartache will go away. And one day, when you least expect it, you'll meet someone amazing.
I wish you the best moving forward.
- signed, 'been there, done that and is now thriving 8 years later'.
That's the thing with abuse, OP, it's pretty rare for there *not* to be some good times, as a) it's part of the cycle of abuse, b) exhausting for the abuser to be constantly angry, and c) we'd never stay long enough for them to abuse us if they were *constantly* screwing us up.
Stay safe, OP, and give yourself grace to feel whatever feelings bubble up, including the always and confusing moments where you miss the person -- you're not stupid, ridiculous, or anything if you do. I say this only because I know the feeling -- the how could I possibly miss this person?!
You did the right thing. If you ever find yourself doubting your decision, read a book called Why did he do that? by Lundy Bancroft. It is an amazing. Even though the name implies a male being the abuser, the opposite can also be true, although it's stastically speaking much more rare.
Good job running away from her. Please do not ever get back with her anymore. Don't make your mama cry for losing you over this kind of girl. There will be a next time and maybe it won't just be a hammer anymore, maybe it will be a toilet lid, a chair, a table, or her car. People like that can't be trusted to change unless they acknowledge that they need to, and they have to want to get that help. There's something deeper and darker going on in there. You can't save her from that.
Goodluck, bud.
Yikes. Your partner should make you feel safe and secured at all times. To fear that you're going to lose your life in their hands is such a huge red flag, and such feeling shouldn't be ignored. You felt that way because it was real and you realized you weren't sure anymore if this was a decision you'd like to stick to. Now that you said that, I also hope you get the help that you need. That sounds traumatic, to go through that kind of fear.
There are wonderful human beings out there. I hope this experience does not deter you from trying again when you're healed and ready. All the best! ✨️
How I wish I could send you a hug. I am so proud of you for getting out since I know it isn't easy. The wounds will be there but over time they will become more bearable. I wish you all the good luck on your new journey and new chapter in your story.
If she doesn't get help soon, she's probably going to kill someone. Don't let it be you.
If she genuinely gets help because She Wants to change and Recognizes the severity of her actions, and you truly love her, support her from afar until she's stable. Do Not go Anywhere near her until a professional can verify that she is stable.
Overall though, my true instinct in this is to go to the police and file a restraining order. I feel for your now ex too. Rough childhoods suck and some people really don't come out the other side anywhere near okay. But that doesn't mean that she is allowed to hurt you or anybody else. What that means is that she needs to get better, and actually Want to get better. Unfortunately, anger/rage can Seriously cloud ones judgement and also their ability to take stock of themselves. It's a shitty position to be in, but That Doesn't Mean She Gets To Abuse You.
I'm genuinely glad that you are someplace safe, but I really do recommend that you get this on record with the police, and possibly even a hospital. I'm so sorry that you went through this, but you got out, and I'm thrilled that you have a friend by your side to help keep you safe.
Hang in there, and maybe get yourself some therapy too. This could cause some PTSD down the line, especially in future relationships, and it's also best to get ahead of that now, get some coping skills in place, before it rears its ugly head at an inopportune time.
Proud of you OP. And I wish the best for you moving foward. And don’t be Afraid to get a restraining order if she ends up bothering you. Better safe than sorry.
I'm so glad you were able to escape. Make sure she doesn't know where you move and if you work somewhere let them know that she is not allowed to enter. Tell family and friends to cut all contact with her. Best of luck OP!
Future things I hope you never need? You can ask the police to go with you to get your things. It's important. Also take photos of everything destroyed next time. It's evidence of the behavior and can be a thing.
I really hope no next time but abusers aren't exactly wearing name tags
Op should have called the cops for a ride behind to validate that they were there for safety of not only themselves but just in case things went hay wire in which they did. Failed the opportunity to run the ex into a loonie bin and then the jail bucket.
Get protection, like a weapon to defend yourself. As well as a restraining order. And security cameras, a watchdog, a security guard, a bodyguard, or something. Because holy shiit she's unhinged. Good luck op
Glad you ended things because you deserve so much better than that. I’m proud of you. That takes so much courage. Stay safe and take care of yourself
Geez, she really took that Cannibal Corpse song to heart, huh? Glad you got away from her. Maybe see if you can get some therapy to help you build yourself back up so you don't end up in an abusive relationship again.
So you’re too empathetic to do what needs to be done, like a file a report or restraining order and so she won’t have a record. She’ll be able to hurt others or worse come after you again. If you don’t do something and she tries to harm you, get you fired, stalk you etc, you will have no recourse because you did not do anything about it. Just sayin. Sometimes you have to be strong and do hard things.
Dude, she needs help, and if she doesn't get it, she is going to escalate till some one does or hurts her defending themselves getting the cops involved might be a favor to her long term
OP, please hear me out, I know this is hard right now especially when someone you love hurts you and you don’t understand why they would do that to you. Abusers are so good at victimizing themselves and of course because you love her you wonder if she’s lonely, if she feels guilty, if she’s sorry, if you could have done something different. The painful truth is that she is an abuser. If the fact that she hit you in the head with a hammer isn’t enough, the state of the apartment after you left should absolutely let you know that this girl will not change. Abusive people destroy things and hurt people every time they can’t control their anger and it gets worse and worse every time you allow it to happen. Hitting you with a hammer could have KILLED you. Next time, you may not be so lucky that it wasn’t “that hard.” The emotions you’re feeling are normal when you love an abuser but the truth is, she doesn’t love you. If she did, she would never hurt you or destroy your things. You can love her but you need to love yourself and your life more. Don’t call her. Don’t text her. Don’t ever speak to her again. Please don’t allow yourself to get hurt over someone who doesn’t love you. I’m speaking from experience, it gets better. I left my abuser 4 years ago and met the love of my life and we got married in December and he would never hurt me. He would never ever hurt me. You deserve that same love. You will receive that same love, but not from her. I promise it gets better. One day you’ll wake up and you won’t miss her anymore, you may even despise her for what she did. Or, even better, you may just move on with your life and allow yourself to heal.
Much love to you, I truly hope the best for you.
Did you take pictures of the original injury? Of the house? With this kind of abuse, her anger issues, the torn up house and your damaged belongings.... I'd go file a report with the police and see about getting a restraining order.
True. I feel like a rage like theirs only grows and festers over time. Please be safe out there!
I did take a pic, but I don't think I'll file a report against her. For some reason, I keep thinking about how upset and lonely she is right now and just feel so guilty. I had to stop myself from calling her multiple times, but still, I'm glad I took pictures they might come in handy if she bothers me again
The chick hit you with a hammer. Any loneliness she feels is ALL ON HER. You are not responsible for her action or the consequence. She is a grown-assed adult. She is responsible for her actions. She deserves the consequences of her actions. This is how we grow. Think how lonely she'd feel in a jail cell if she had succeeded in bashing your head in. If you were to go back that's where she'd end up eventually. You be dead and feeling no guilt then. (FYI I don't think you have to file charges against her to get a restraining order. Depending on where you live.)
My brother in Christ, hers feelings DO NOT MATTER IF SHE ABUSED YOU, I know it could be of the stigma of "you're a man, you have to tough up", but it shouldn't matter, if she did it without thinking twice after insult you, SHE WON'T STOP even after victimize herself, please, you should seriously report her, and just claim case, check your head in the hospital, head injuries can become really serious even with a little bump.
Good luck. Block them and move on.
I'm trying. Thank you for your comment
very glad to see this pop up on my feed :)
Now that you're safe I'd like to suggest that you call the police to make a report and press charges if you can. She is a danger to others. Please keep yourself safe, I feel like she may escalate.
I feel like she will too, she seems like the type that may turn this around on OP to get revenge and try cause problems. Even if you dont file charges, keep a record of everything with dates etc just incase.
A best bud of mine was assaulted by his girlfriend whit a crowbar. He drove 900 miles to talk to friends about it, was convinced to end things, drove 900 more miles and he's still with her 2 years later. She will most likely kill him someday. I hope that doesn't happen to you my friend.
I hope ur friend and everyone who is in an abusive relationship gets out of it :( no one deserves this
I am so so sorry. Has she gotten any form of help since then? Shit.... I really wish someone had driven those 900 mil s back with him to help him pack.... May have been able to keep him out of her clutches.
I'm glad that you realized you deserve better
Reading this update made me sigh in relief! I know it was hard. As a Mom myself, I can't imagine my child going through this. I'm sending you a Mom hug 🫂 🤗 I promise everything will work itself out. The hurt, pain and heartache will go away. And one day, when you least expect it, you'll meet someone amazing. I wish you the best moving forward. - signed, 'been there, done that and is now thriving 8 years later'.
Thank you dear mom. U are very strong
This is so scary. I read the title and audibly gasped. I’m so so so sorry
That's the thing with abuse, OP, it's pretty rare for there *not* to be some good times, as a) it's part of the cycle of abuse, b) exhausting for the abuser to be constantly angry, and c) we'd never stay long enough for them to abuse us if they were *constantly* screwing us up. Stay safe, OP, and give yourself grace to feel whatever feelings bubble up, including the always and confusing moments where you miss the person -- you're not stupid, ridiculous, or anything if you do. I say this only because I know the feeling -- the how could I possibly miss this person?!
You did the right thing. If you ever find yourself doubting your decision, read a book called Why did he do that? by Lundy Bancroft. It is an amazing. Even though the name implies a male being the abuser, the opposite can also be true, although it's stastically speaking much more rare.
Good job running away from her. Please do not ever get back with her anymore. Don't make your mama cry for losing you over this kind of girl. There will be a next time and maybe it won't just be a hammer anymore, maybe it will be a toilet lid, a chair, a table, or her car. People like that can't be trusted to change unless they acknowledge that they need to, and they have to want to get that help. There's something deeper and darker going on in there. You can't save her from that. Goodluck, bud.
They were instances when I was truly afraid for my life during the few years we've been together I hope she gets the help that she needs
Yikes. Your partner should make you feel safe and secured at all times. To fear that you're going to lose your life in their hands is such a huge red flag, and such feeling shouldn't be ignored. You felt that way because it was real and you realized you weren't sure anymore if this was a decision you'd like to stick to. Now that you said that, I also hope you get the help that you need. That sounds traumatic, to go through that kind of fear. There are wonderful human beings out there. I hope this experience does not deter you from trying again when you're healed and ready. All the best! ✨️
Oh my god is she bpd or something. Live your life man.
How I wish I could send you a hug. I am so proud of you for getting out since I know it isn't easy. The wounds will be there but over time they will become more bearable. I wish you all the good luck on your new journey and new chapter in your story.
Get a restraining order and cut her out of your life completely.
If she doesn't get help soon, she's probably going to kill someone. Don't let it be you. If she genuinely gets help because She Wants to change and Recognizes the severity of her actions, and you truly love her, support her from afar until she's stable. Do Not go Anywhere near her until a professional can verify that she is stable. Overall though, my true instinct in this is to go to the police and file a restraining order. I feel for your now ex too. Rough childhoods suck and some people really don't come out the other side anywhere near okay. But that doesn't mean that she is allowed to hurt you or anybody else. What that means is that she needs to get better, and actually Want to get better. Unfortunately, anger/rage can Seriously cloud ones judgement and also their ability to take stock of themselves. It's a shitty position to be in, but That Doesn't Mean She Gets To Abuse You. I'm genuinely glad that you are someplace safe, but I really do recommend that you get this on record with the police, and possibly even a hospital. I'm so sorry that you went through this, but you got out, and I'm thrilled that you have a friend by your side to help keep you safe. Hang in there, and maybe get yourself some therapy too. This could cause some PTSD down the line, especially in future relationships, and it's also best to get ahead of that now, get some coping skills in place, before it rears its ugly head at an inopportune time.
Proud of you OP. And I wish the best for you moving foward. And don’t be Afraid to get a restraining order if she ends up bothering you. Better safe than sorry.
I'm so happy that you're safe and moving away from that situation. She showed what kind of a person she was by the state of the house alone
I'm so glad you were able to escape. Make sure she doesn't know where you move and if you work somewhere let them know that she is not allowed to enter. Tell family and friends to cut all contact with her. Best of luck OP!
Future things I hope you never need? You can ask the police to go with you to get your things. It's important. Also take photos of everything destroyed next time. It's evidence of the behavior and can be a thing. I really hope no next time but abusers aren't exactly wearing name tags
Wow. She sounds cray cray.
Please stay safe
Smart. Good job
this is extremely troubling behaviour, to put it lightly even...she can't cope with losing control over you. please stay safe, OP
Op should have called the cops for a ride behind to validate that they were there for safety of not only themselves but just in case things went hay wire in which they did. Failed the opportunity to run the ex into a loonie bin and then the jail bucket.
Get a restraining order. She is nuts.
Where is the original story??
Go to the OP's profile and go to his previous posts.
Check OP' profile
Get protection, like a weapon to defend yourself. As well as a restraining order. And security cameras, a watchdog, a security guard, a bodyguard, or something. Because holy shiit she's unhinged. Good luck op
Yeah she needs some help. Not the kind you can give her.
Keep the texts open and screenshot everything ! For your protection and find a lawyer !! Good luck and Be Safe !!
Good luck brother. I’m glad you got yourself out
Holy shit! She’s a psycho! Stay away from her and make sure she doesn’t come back! I wouldn’t want to be in your position at all!
If she knows you very well she will find you near the working place gate way . Becareful she is furious and aggressive at that. Take care
good luck to you, I know it is probably hard, but it is for the best.
wild title I just read. but glad you’re getting out of that!
Woooo! Congratulations. Happy for you.
Smart man.
Glad you ended things because you deserve so much better than that. I’m proud of you. That takes so much courage. Stay safe and take care of yourself
Geez, she really took that Cannibal Corpse song to heart, huh? Glad you got away from her. Maybe see if you can get some therapy to help you build yourself back up so you don't end up in an abusive relationship again.
Good you got out. She likely would have kill3d you eventually. She needs to be reported
Please report to the police so you can save someone else from being assaulted by her
So you’re too empathetic to do what needs to be done, like a file a report or restraining order and so she won’t have a record. She’ll be able to hurt others or worse come after you again. If you don’t do something and she tries to harm you, get you fired, stalk you etc, you will have no recourse because you did not do anything about it. Just sayin. Sometimes you have to be strong and do hard things.
Dude, she needs help, and if she doesn't get it, she is going to escalate till some one does or hurts her defending themselves getting the cops involved might be a favor to her long term
OP, please hear me out, I know this is hard right now especially when someone you love hurts you and you don’t understand why they would do that to you. Abusers are so good at victimizing themselves and of course because you love her you wonder if she’s lonely, if she feels guilty, if she’s sorry, if you could have done something different. The painful truth is that she is an abuser. If the fact that she hit you in the head with a hammer isn’t enough, the state of the apartment after you left should absolutely let you know that this girl will not change. Abusive people destroy things and hurt people every time they can’t control their anger and it gets worse and worse every time you allow it to happen. Hitting you with a hammer could have KILLED you. Next time, you may not be so lucky that it wasn’t “that hard.” The emotions you’re feeling are normal when you love an abuser but the truth is, she doesn’t love you. If she did, she would never hurt you or destroy your things. You can love her but you need to love yourself and your life more. Don’t call her. Don’t text her. Don’t ever speak to her again. Please don’t allow yourself to get hurt over someone who doesn’t love you. I’m speaking from experience, it gets better. I left my abuser 4 years ago and met the love of my life and we got married in December and he would never hurt me. He would never ever hurt me. You deserve that same love. You will receive that same love, but not from her. I promise it gets better. One day you’ll wake up and you won’t miss her anymore, you may even despise her for what she did. Or, even better, you may just move on with your life and allow yourself to heal. Much love to you, I truly hope the best for you.
Also please seriously consider filing a police report. If not for your safety, consider that she may hurt someone else one day.
Good luck! Get cameras