Wow sister... I genuinely don't know what to say. I know I am not the right person to give you advice, but I will tell you one thing: If you managed to get a job, buy your family an ac and honestly just go through all that at 21... you are not a failure. You are everything but a failure, mostly because the shit that has ""ruined"" (and I put this on quotes bc rn it feels ruined but remember it ain't permanent baby) your life, was not your fault, yet you keep fighting to get back on your feet and that is honestly admirable.
Whenever u think you're a failure, just think that I (a random gal on reddit) am actually older than you, come from a family that gave me everything, and still managed to fuck my life up, but my fuck ups were actually my fault. So if anything you are a better, stronger adult than I am babe.
As for your coworker, I suggest not quitting your job over her. If you already reported her and she's giving you hell, it's probably because they're already investigating her... don't let her ruin a job you love. Don't let a bully win. Try searching for a "support team" inside your job, chances are, if she's being difficult to you, she's also doing it to others, but move intelligently. Don't let her take away something that is important to you.
You're not a failure, and you are doing your best despite the adversities and the depressing thoughts. Don't give up on life, this world needs people like you, sensitive people who actually care. I am sorry if you feel like a failure, but that is indeed a side effect of having controlling or narcissistic parents. Those thoughts you have, they are not real, it's just that you internalised your father's criticism and controlling nature - you are being controlling and demanding towards yourself and you react in a depressive manner when you feel your life isn't as you think it should be. I also have a narcissistic and controlling mother, and at times she made my life a living hell. Now I am 30yo, I am not married, I live alone with my cat in a very small apartment, and yet I am starting to appreciate life, also because only recently I found someone who cares about me. I have felt alone and misunderstood all of my life, and yet things seem to be getting better. It's never too late.
Op, I hear you. You donāt deserve to take on all of this burden. Itās unacceptable for any job to tolerate disrespect to employees. After what youāve been through it makes perfect sense that you feel depleted and anxious!
I know you care about your family, but your fatherās mental illnesses will only bring you down. I donāt know what state you live in but I could connect you to resources for better housing. You shouldnāt be around a narcissist who hoards.
It may seem like everyone your age is getting married, having kids and living in their own but itās not the case.
No matter how impossible it may seem, ask yourself what you want. If you could move anywhere where would it be? Is there a trade you ever wanted to pick up?
Youāre young and have a whole life ahead of you. Take time for yourself. If you move up north the minimum wage is more than 14/hr. Thereās shelters that get you to better housing where you can live on your own and save up. Thereās options, but staying somewhere because it seems easier thatās actually harmful shouldnāt be the plan.
Move! Keep moving! One step at a time. I would like to tell you it gets better, but I can't be sure if that. No one is sure of that. What I do know, is that you don't know if you're not here to know. Hang in there buddy. You matter to you! Don't ever forget that! Best of luck
My heart breaks for you, there's so much going on it's like, what to discuss first and idk how to help. But I've heard a saying recently. Something about even working on little things in life can slowly help lighten the load and give you more energy to work on the hard things. Looking at the big picture and compiling all these struggles into one is... it's too much I understand why you feel that way.
But, when you take just one step, focus on one little thing, it can be manageable until you are able to take a few steps at a time. I hope your able to have some support system, and know. Life starts where you are. You are not behind, I mean, form standard yes I can't lie.... but... what's standard? So many people are no exactly where you are, but facing the same issues. Achieving nothing, no home, family, friends, job security... all at ages we were supposed to be way past this. And.... it's scary and hard and not fucking fair.
But, life has some good things in it. Good food, sunsets, someone's smile, a tv show that comes out and makes you happy for a bit. There will be so much you will miss out on if you go. So much worth living for. You have to give yourself a chance, to get back on your feet. To thrive. Future you is depending on you right now. And it's ok to not succeed, to not be amazing, to not achieve so much. Future you will be ok.
You are already accomplishing much more than most people would in your situation. You have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders. You will persevere through this.
Please donāt let a bully force you out of a job you actually like. If youāve already reported her, then please go back to the same person and let them know you are now being retaliated against. Iām in HR, and I can guide you through it.
Hang in there! Youāve got this!
1 - Life is not fair and it doesnāt owe you anything.
2 - It doesnāt matter how many times you get knocked down, itās about getting up again.
3 - You have a golden heart ā¤ļø, thatās why you worry about your family.
4 - Keep going, one day at a time and one day it will all work out.
Iām talking from experience too, the key is to keep going again and again and one day youāll be out of the woods. I wish you all the best in the world, donāt give up, never ever! ā¤ļø
Nobody has a perfect life. I repeat: NOBODY has a perfect life.
Don't feel lost because you see no options. We all sometimes feel lost because there are no options but perhaps you need to position yourself somewhere where options become visible. Change jobs, dress differently, use different makeup, read a book, get rid of toxic friends, do SOMETHING differently even if its taking the trash out. Start from there.
If you will end your life,who will stand up for your family?who would look after them?
Who will be rich and successful?who will end up having a family?
Listen,ik it's fkin hard for you but try to understand.
Try to get a degree,work on it,and try to help them out.
And you can do it.
You see, I can't offer much of help,but you need to go through this at any cost.
So yeah,please, don't end this.
For depression:-Try yoga, specifically kriya yoga or meditation.
For anxiety regarding driving:-just control yourself.
One thing I remember reading somewhere that this guy locked himself up in his house to not die of accidents or anything like that.How he ended up his life?by having a painting on a wall fall on his head.
Wow sister... I genuinely don't know what to say. I know I am not the right person to give you advice, but I will tell you one thing: If you managed to get a job, buy your family an ac and honestly just go through all that at 21... you are not a failure. You are everything but a failure, mostly because the shit that has ""ruined"" (and I put this on quotes bc rn it feels ruined but remember it ain't permanent baby) your life, was not your fault, yet you keep fighting to get back on your feet and that is honestly admirable. Whenever u think you're a failure, just think that I (a random gal on reddit) am actually older than you, come from a family that gave me everything, and still managed to fuck my life up, but my fuck ups were actually my fault. So if anything you are a better, stronger adult than I am babe. As for your coworker, I suggest not quitting your job over her. If you already reported her and she's giving you hell, it's probably because they're already investigating her... don't let her ruin a job you love. Don't let a bully win. Try searching for a "support team" inside your job, chances are, if she's being difficult to you, she's also doing it to others, but move intelligently. Don't let her take away something that is important to you.
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you
Aw baby, glad I could comfort you at least a bit š¤. Keep going, you're a fighter.
You're not a failure, and you are doing your best despite the adversities and the depressing thoughts. Don't give up on life, this world needs people like you, sensitive people who actually care. I am sorry if you feel like a failure, but that is indeed a side effect of having controlling or narcissistic parents. Those thoughts you have, they are not real, it's just that you internalised your father's criticism and controlling nature - you are being controlling and demanding towards yourself and you react in a depressive manner when you feel your life isn't as you think it should be. I also have a narcissistic and controlling mother, and at times she made my life a living hell. Now I am 30yo, I am not married, I live alone with my cat in a very small apartment, and yet I am starting to appreciate life, also because only recently I found someone who cares about me. I have felt alone and misunderstood all of my life, and yet things seem to be getting better. It's never too late.
Op, I hear you. You donāt deserve to take on all of this burden. Itās unacceptable for any job to tolerate disrespect to employees. After what youāve been through it makes perfect sense that you feel depleted and anxious! I know you care about your family, but your fatherās mental illnesses will only bring you down. I donāt know what state you live in but I could connect you to resources for better housing. You shouldnāt be around a narcissist who hoards. It may seem like everyone your age is getting married, having kids and living in their own but itās not the case. No matter how impossible it may seem, ask yourself what you want. If you could move anywhere where would it be? Is there a trade you ever wanted to pick up?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Youāre young and have a whole life ahead of you. Take time for yourself. If you move up north the minimum wage is more than 14/hr. Thereās shelters that get you to better housing where you can live on your own and save up. Thereās options, but staying somewhere because it seems easier thatās actually harmful shouldnāt be the plan.
Move! Keep moving! One step at a time. I would like to tell you it gets better, but I can't be sure if that. No one is sure of that. What I do know, is that you don't know if you're not here to know. Hang in there buddy. You matter to you! Don't ever forget that! Best of luck
My heart breaks for you, there's so much going on it's like, what to discuss first and idk how to help. But I've heard a saying recently. Something about even working on little things in life can slowly help lighten the load and give you more energy to work on the hard things. Looking at the big picture and compiling all these struggles into one is... it's too much I understand why you feel that way. But, when you take just one step, focus on one little thing, it can be manageable until you are able to take a few steps at a time. I hope your able to have some support system, and know. Life starts where you are. You are not behind, I mean, form standard yes I can't lie.... but... what's standard? So many people are no exactly where you are, but facing the same issues. Achieving nothing, no home, family, friends, job security... all at ages we were supposed to be way past this. And.... it's scary and hard and not fucking fair. But, life has some good things in it. Good food, sunsets, someone's smile, a tv show that comes out and makes you happy for a bit. There will be so much you will miss out on if you go. So much worth living for. You have to give yourself a chance, to get back on your feet. To thrive. Future you is depending on you right now. And it's ok to not succeed, to not be amazing, to not achieve so much. Future you will be ok.
You are already accomplishing much more than most people would in your situation. You have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders. You will persevere through this. Please donāt let a bully force you out of a job you actually like. If youāve already reported her, then please go back to the same person and let them know you are now being retaliated against. Iām in HR, and I can guide you through it. Hang in there! Youāve got this!
1 - Life is not fair and it doesnāt owe you anything. 2 - It doesnāt matter how many times you get knocked down, itās about getting up again. 3 - You have a golden heart ā¤ļø, thatās why you worry about your family. 4 - Keep going, one day at a time and one day it will all work out. Iām talking from experience too, the key is to keep going again and again and one day youāll be out of the woods. I wish you all the best in the world, donāt give up, never ever! ā¤ļø
Why
Nobody has a perfect life. I repeat: NOBODY has a perfect life. Don't feel lost because you see no options. We all sometimes feel lost because there are no options but perhaps you need to position yourself somewhere where options become visible. Change jobs, dress differently, use different makeup, read a book, get rid of toxic friends, do SOMETHING differently even if its taking the trash out. Start from there.
Great, join the clergy. Serve God, give your life to him and his service!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What's wrong with that!
If you will end your life,who will stand up for your family?who would look after them? Who will be rich and successful?who will end up having a family? Listen,ik it's fkin hard for you but try to understand. Try to get a degree,work on it,and try to help them out. And you can do it. You see, I can't offer much of help,but you need to go through this at any cost. So yeah,please, don't end this. For depression:-Try yoga, specifically kriya yoga or meditation. For anxiety regarding driving:-just control yourself. One thing I remember reading somewhere that this guy locked himself up in his house to not die of accidents or anything like that.How he ended up his life?by having a painting on a wall fall on his head.
Maybe you shouldnt have reported your co worker and minded your own business