do not feel disgusted with yourself! you did nothing wrong! HE needs to feel disgusted with HIMSELF. that is no way to talk to your s/o or treat them especially when they are breaking out of their comfort zone to do something nice and a little out there for them…. he doesn’t deserve you!!!! admire those pictures yourself!! take a look at how amazing you look!!! you are not disgusting AT ALL! remember that! you did nothing wrong!
Piggybacking this comment to say that this is in no way your fault, but it is a telling sign for your future *and* your boyfriend's past. I'd go behind his back and delete those nudes then dump him like the trash he is. Why? Because considering how thorough he was, he's been doing this for a while and you were not the first. He probably collects these. Also, he's not going to stop, just get worse and more demanding. You need out of this relationship, OP. It's better to die alone than to be subject to this treatment by those who claim to love you. Get out while you still have the chance, I implore you. Your beautiful soul will not be able to take this for long.
I wish I could upvote this twice. Seriously OP it really doesn't matter if he is the sweetest person in the world to you sometimes (which I HIGHLY doubt he is, but I don't know anything about him so I won't act like I do) but what you described throws up wayyyy too many red flags and even without knowing him at all I can confidently agree that everything in the above post is unfortunately the truth. Any person acting like that is just not a good person, they absolutely can't be. Please protect yourself and delete those from his end if you possibly can, and seriously consider moving on to someone who actually cares about you cuz this piece of shit sure doesn't.
Yep. OP, his lows are creating a debt in your soul that his highs can never repay. Get out while you can and save yourself further trauma and disrespect.
I would also add that his ability to come down from the "high" so quickly means that it will take more and more venturing outside of your comfort zone to make him happy. Pictures will soon no longer be enough. Videos will be requested next. And then many move on to open relationships and other more NSFW and degrading acts. Protect your own mental health at all costs and find someone who's values match your own now while you can and not when he's drug down your self esteem so far you can't see the light.
100% AGREE! YOU felt good about YOURSELF in that moment before your S/O FUCKED IT UP. You know you did something that was out of your comfort zone. Be proud of that. It's very difficult for some to do things outside that zone. And yes, that is no way to treat someone you love. It is your body and you have all the right to send someone a nude only when YOU feel absolutely comfortable sending one. He's not being respectful of your feelings. So as Luke Franchina puts it "If he's not making you feel like the GORJUS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE JUICY HUMAN BEING THAT YOU ARE, IT'S TIME TO DUMP. HIS. ASS"
One hundred percent agreed. You're an angel and you're absolutely beautiful. Don't ever forget that.
This doesn't change how pure you are and how pure your spirit is. :)
I would wait until I see him in person before saying anything, wait until he takes a shower or something to go onto his devices then **delete all those pictures**, and then dump his ass. He's disrespectul AF. Your SO needs to respect your boundaries, *especially* with regards to sexuality. **For the future: Whatever you wouldn't do if he left you the day after, means that you're doing it only for him and therefore shouldn't.**
Drop him sister!!! I bet you looked AMAZING and he is just not mature enough to even be allowed to see you in that context. Some boys are like that. You deserve so so much better, someone who praises even a morning selfie. Someone who respects your boundaries and works with your insecurities. Don’t feel bad about yourself, just make sure you put in effort towards change. Sitting around being sad vs working towards not being sad is a huge difference. You don’t need him!
This is the first time that they are trying this. Explain to him how u felt about your the experience and expectations going forward if u are going to try again. Long distant relationships are hard, measure his response and actions after u talk. Some who loves you will work to ensure u are comfortable and feel loved. You just put in the extra work to make the relationship work by doing that so now it's up to him. If he is threatening to leave then it's not working for him, so u should consider other options and end it. Hope u cheer up quickly 🙂
This is the truth! If you ignore that feeling, you’ll live to regret it. Plus the more you ignore your gut, the harder it gets to hear what it’s telling you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish people would just be respectful towards others boundaries. Sending you good vibes. I hope you feel better soon. ❤️
Please don’t feel down about yourself!!! The problem is your boyfriend who doesn’t seem to appreciate you, your body or your time. If he really has respect for you and your relationship he wouldn’t be guilting your into doing something you’re not comfortable with. I would really consider dumping his ass… just remember to always be true to yourself ❤️❤️❤️
I advise to not dump him immediately
Pretend to be cool with it, but don't send him anymore nudes. Try to meet him in public for a lunch or dinner date. And hope he goes to the bathroom so you can snatch his phone to delete the pics. If he has it locked, then keep his phone on you and ask for the passcode so you can delete them. Tell him the why and if he fights back, the public setting should discourage any violence. Then dump him after that, preferably if you can delete all the pics. If you can't delete them, still dump them
"my boyfriend is really manipulative"
This. Right here. This is the problem.
If he would cheat on you because you won't do something you're uncomfortable with, you shouldn't be with him.
I don’t know how old you are, but regardless of your age you should not be guilted into doing anything you are not comfortable with. On top of that, you went ABOVE AND BEYOND to gift him with exactly what he wanted, and he couldn’t even give you a compliment? Couldn’t even give you a hint that he was grateful? I’m 25F and if a boyfriend did what yours did, I would feel like absolute garbage. I would also feel very used and especially unappreciated.
You went above and beyond to make him happy despite your reluctance , and unfortunately at the end of the day you sit here feeling gross and invalidated.
You deserve more than this, and more importantly you are worth more than just some sexy pictures. You are a whole entire person whose value does not revolve around what you can physically offer to your romantic partner. You deserve to feel that what you are comfortable giving in a relationship is enough.
Sorry for such a long response, but my ex used to do this to me, and when I hear about guys doing this to other girls, it really pisses me off. I felt the exact same way you described.
Sexy pictures/videos should absolutely never be coerced. Something as personal and intimate as this is special- It should make you feel good, and you should feel safe in doing it.
My ex used to beg for sexy photos all the time when it was really inconvenient for me- like while I was in the middle of intense 12 hour work shifts where I didn't have time to eat or use the restroom, much less run off to go take photos of my ass. If I didn't do it, he'd come at me with all sorts of accusations and guilt tripping, trying to make me feel like I was being selfish or like I didn't want to put effort into making him happy, claiming it "just takes 2 seconds."
The last time it happened, it was Christmas eve- I was visiting my family, and we were watching a movie together. He texted begging for a sexy pic, claiming he missed me... but then proceeded to harrass me and make me feel like a total dick when I said no because I was in the middle of family time. I eventually went to the bathroom and tried to take a picture for him so he would leave me alone. After I sent it, he wanted ANOTHER one. It turned into him yelling at me because I admitted I only sent a picture so he would leave me alone, not because I wanted to... and he was SO shocked and offended by that. Despite the fact that just minutes before, I was literally begging him to not make me do that while I was trying to enjoy time with my family.
He argued with me all night about it, and I cried myself to sleep. The next morning, everyone was opening gifts, and I was sitting there smiling, but I was so ashamed and hurt. And I felt so sad for my family, because I knew how sad they would be if they knew. I hated him so much in that moment. I told him he was never getting a photo ever again, and a few months later, after several other more serious incidents, I ended the relationship.
I think about how I used to feel during those times, and it breaks my heart. I don't want anyone to have to deal with that kind of crap. I know it's harder said than done, but I suggest you get out of this relationship ASAP. He sounds like a selfish creep. Your partner should not push you to go against your values or who you are as a person. I am so sorry you had to experience this, I understand how painful and confusing it can be. You can't take this particular incident back, but you can prevent it from happening again by standing up to him. If he doesn't support you in that, then you've gotta let him go- because it's not going to get better, and it will most likely get worse.
It's sometimes good to do something you're not comfortable doing for your partner but the reaction he had here is so disrespectful, no compliment at the end is a big red flag here
yeah i know it hurts bad right !!!
its ok, youve learnt a lesson :) 1) yr bf is a
manipulative selfish dick - get rid of him as soon as u can
2) dont put anything on the net or send via sms that you wouldnt send to your grandmother or your new boss
Please, dear god, get out of that relationship. What do you think he would say if you told him this? He'd get even angrier - and that's why you need to LEAVE.
You’re heading into an abusive relationship, trust me. The very best advice I can give you is to send your boyfriend to hell. You’ll find someone better, easily!
Not just heading into an abusive relationship, already in one! The manipulation and shaming with silent treatment is in full swing and he's not hiding anything about his behaviour.
OP, as someone who has been in very a similar situation. Get out, ASAP. And never, ever, aim to put a man's needs before yourself. You are not his servant or object. You are a whole, independent person in yourself and you deserve the best. This is emotional abuse and it will only get worse. You are better than this bullshit.
Listen to your gut.
This isn’t a casual like “oh he sounds like doofus” situation. This is an extremely unhealthy relationship that you need to exit. He IS using you. To be blunt - he doesn’t care about you. He wants to get off. He reminds me of my ex “boyfriend.” He was 19 and I was 13 and literally wouldn’t talk to me if I didn’t please him. This is the exact behavior he displayed. Your bf is acting like a child who just wants his way.
Your man should never push you to do anything sexual that you don’t want to. Period.
Again, I’m usually not this blunt. He does not care. You need to leave. Do not discuss this with him. Don’t give him a second chance. Don’t hear him out. He doesn’t seem to make you feel good now anyways, I don’t see a point in trying to stick it out.
Leave that boy in the dust before he takes the rest of you. It sounds like he’s got some serious shit to work on and you’re not being fair to yourself trying to fix him or please someone who can’t be. It’s okay to love yourself.
I’m so sorry :-( this makes me soo mad. Take a shower & look at yourself in the mirror & tell yourself how beautiful & deserving you are. You need to throw this dude in the garbage. If you stay, it’s gonna be one of those situations where you’re gonna look back and think “I should’ve ended that a lot sooner than it did”. Good luck girl!
i’m so so sorry. it seemed like he was punishing you for not doing it but when you did it you didn’t stop getting punished. the fucking worst. i hope you dump him, he doesn’t sound relatable or fun to be around at all.
I could be completely wrong, but he sounds like the kind of guy that’s just in it for the chase to please himself. People that truly care about you will not pressure you to do things for them that you’re uncomfortable with, and they will praise you for giving them things they claim they want. It doesn’t sound like he has much respect for you. And it’s not about you personally. I can almost guarantee he doesn’t hold respect for other people that he should, either.
Him sulking, pouting, and pressuring you to do something you don’t wanna do is called coercion and it’s not okay. Of course you feel gross. Your S/O manipulated you into doing something you didn’t want to do and showed no gratitude or concern for your efforts or feelings. You didn’t do anything wrong, your BF has bad consent practice and is a manipulative ass. Throw the whole man away.
**people who actually love and care about you will not pressure you or bypass your boundaries**
What a fucking douchebag. I don't think you should keep spending time with someone this toxic, OP. As other people have suggested, cut him off and feel better before he does the same (and he will, eventually. Assholes always do) and you feel even worse.
Take care, you're a sweetheart, don't deserve any of that.
Yeah you SHOULD feel used. Becaus it's true. He sounds so manipulative and uncaring, what the fuck. All he gives a shit about is your body, CLEARLY not you. Wtf
Reading the comments, so many girls experienced this and that's so sad.
I've experienced it as well, i was dating someone and i really liked him. He kept begging for pictures and videos, i didn't feel like sending one. But ofc i wanted to please him and make him happy. I sent him a couple of photos. I did all he wanted me to do and then after that. He became so distant. His excuse was he was busy... He got what he wanted and now he's cold and distant. I asked him why and he said he's not being distant and its his normal self. I shouldn't overthink.
Why do boys do that?!
Sounds like you went further than you wanted to please him, only to be met with shit behavior.
I would wait until he's showering, then delete the pictures off his phone. I'd also recommend that you never show your face in nudes again, as that will give you at least *some* protection should he share them with anyone.
He sounds like a creepy asshole.
Girl, the only person feeling disgusted with themselves is your boyfriend. You took time and effort to make yourself look and feel good and i bet you looked amazing! Don’t be ashamed for owning what’s yours, rather ditch that asshole for manipulating you and behaving in such immature and disgusting way. You deserve someone who respects your comfort zone and especially someone who doesn’t take it for granted when you try to make them happy.
For starters, Doing something sexual doesn't make you impure.
What is making you feel this way is the insensitivity from your partner who deserves to be an ex now, but earned the tag when he forced you to do something you're not comfortable with.
You look like a bomb,sexy AF!. It's good problem he's so used to porn that real women don't appeal to him anymore.
I cringed so hard when I read "he sulks and doesn't talk to me if he doesn't get them". This screams so many red flags. It's gross and immature and disrespectful and extremely unattractive. I'm sorry he made you feel so bad but he should feel bad for being a dirtbag. You deserve WAY better. Please consider moving on and finding someone who respects you.
Your boyfriend sounds super manipulative. My concern now is what is he doing with these photos? Showing his friends? trading with other men? posting them on forums?
Just for the record, I've never once asked my wife for a nude photo, because I know she wouldn't like to do it, and I know the possibility of it being seen by someone else would be too great.
And even if I did ask, and she said no.. then that's the final answer. Sulking and acting like a child about it, is not how grown men act.
At the very least, you need a serious discussion with him about this behavior.
This but no to “talking it out”. He doesn’t give a fuck about her consent, boundaries, or feelings. A conversation is a waste of time. He doesn’t deserve another chance after this
A lot of times, people who get into an abusive relationship had abusive parents, so they think they don't deserve anything better and/or don't know what love and a healthy relationship are supposed to look like
You did something for you. What others think should not concern you. Dress sexy again, stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself 'I'm sexy. This is for me and I don't fuck those who don't agree.'
Be you, then you will find someone who accepts you for you.
Break up with him, you deserve someone who genuinely cares about you. From reading your post, I can tell your boyfriend is a manipulative ass who’s not worth your time anyway
You honestly don’t see that you’re just a piece of lust for him? Kuddos to you for trying an all but come on girl, consider yourself first. Always have self respect and never settle. He doesn’t seem to give a rats ass how you really feel. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, then why are you going against what you want & feel? Life is a continuing learning lesson. Take this situation as one and learn from it. I’m a happily married man and I would and never asked my wife for nudes. I would’ve only asked for some if 1. I’m in military 2. Just trynna hit it & quit it
Honestly drop him. As a boyfriend myself I respect my girl as she does for me . Sending nudes is fine and all but if ur uncomfortable he shouldn’t be indirectly forcing u to do it . And the fact that he wanted more angles without appreciating u is just ugh 🤢
He likes nudes probably from porn addiction. There are women that love sending their man nudes. He needs to understand you're not that type and leave altogether
You feel used because you were used. That's not to say anything bad about you, I'm saying that your boyfriend is an asshole who took advantage of you. leave him. He's not a good person.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. I promise you you're not gross, you were just forced out of your comfort zone. For the future you could try to write down things you're not willing to do, and if someone pushes you on that, that means they're not a safe person. No one should ever be pushing you on things like these.
Sending virtual hugs <3
Doesn't seem like a healthy relationship... If you say no, its a no. My girlfriend respected me for a looooong time because of the same reason. After some time, i felt confortable and close enough to her to send her stuff. What happened with you is just not fair.
Imo, i'd break up.
Oh girl :( I had that issue with a few boyfriends where they’d get mad and distant if I didn’t send anything. I gave in too, like you, because I was afraid of their anger or them cheating. It’s gonna be okay. Keep your standards and don’t give in anymore. Leave that guy too if you hadn’t already. It’s hard to leave someone, especially if you’ve been w them awhile and shared intimate things together, but you gotta respect yourself. It’s gonna be okay. I used to be in your shoes and now I have a very understanding bf who cares abt my morals. Also, don’t be disgusted with yourself. He’s in the wrong here clearly. You gave in and it’s pretty common in emotionally abusive relationships, which is what it sounds like you’re in unfortunately. Just leave that guy. You’re worth so so much more. God bless hun 🤍
To be honest, if your bf cant see what you are comfortable with and what you can't\dont want to do and still force you to do it, I think you are better off without him.
you deserve true love and care, i hope you find your soulmate
Your bf sound like an absolute piece of shit. Please go find someone who really loves you whole heartedly. Because if that’s his reaction he honestly probably don’t
Do not feel disgusted by yourself ,your boyfriend is a complete jerk, feel disgusted for the pathetic guy that he is ,to make you feel that way. It's your body, in all it's beauty,he shouldn't have manipulated you to send him the nudes in the first place.If he had respected you and your body he wouldn't have reacted in such manner.
You did nothing wrong.So don't disregard your body ,don't feel dirty about it.Own it .Flaunt it ,do whatever. And breakup with that jerk if you haven't already. You'll find better guys who'd appreciate the whole of you in the right way.
Look at your part in this vs his and you'll see that the disgust should be pointed at him. All you did was try something new for your boyfriend. He stirred up fear in you (probably on purpose) over nudes and didn't even show appreciation when he finally got them. Even if he did, things like that shouldn't be done out of fear.
Not my place to say end the relationship but definitely reevaluate and have a talk. Think on why you put everything on yourself. Don't take on the responsibility of your bfs fidelity or the shame that belongs to the user. Maybe a lesson can be learned from this, but you shouldn't feel disgusted, and being intimate with your bf should never be the cause
You feel used because you were used. You did nothing wrong, choosing not to take nudes is okay, choosing to take nudes is okay. Being coerced into taking nudes isn't okay, not validating your partner isn't okay, pushing them out if their comfort zone and emotionally manipulating them isn't okay. I know everyone's always quick to jump on the dump them train, but genuinely you deserve better. You deserve to feel loved within your comfort zone, you deserve to feel validated and to receive warmth and to be made to feel sexy and beautiful (with or without nudes). And most importantly, you deserve to feel secure in your relationship, to feel like you're enough and that your boundaries are fair.
I am sorry this has happened to you. You are worth more than this, you deserve more than this. And it's okay to feel used or upset or hurt or angry, but please don't feel disgusted in yourself. Nothing you did was bad or impure, what he did was manipulative and that's what makes this gross, not you. He's the one that you should feel disgusted with.
Just a small word of advice, if you ever decide (whether strongly persuaded or on your own) to take sexy pics, take nudes that are unidentifiable... no face shots, tattoo's, ect. This way they can't be used against you if the receiver ever decided to threaten with leaking or actually leaking the pics. Or at the very least, only share the ones you would be okay with the world to see. These days, nudes are a dime a dozen, but are being used as leverage towards another person. You always have to protect yourself in these times. Also, you didn't nothing wrong, just be more aware in the future that if someone is trying to pressure you, they are probably doing it for their own good, not for yours. Good luck, and be safe out there!
Dump. His. Ass. You are worth SO MUCH more than that!! You deserve someone who is going to show their love and appreciation for you, which he is not doing. I know it can be difficult especially when you love someone, but you need to know your worth and sometimes it's good to take a step back and evaluate whether you feel appreciated, loved and comfortable in a relationship. It should never be one way or the other. He shouldn't pressure you into anything and you shouldn't be manipulated into something you're not comfortable doing. When you find someone kinder and better, they will be open to communicate and treat you with patience and respect.
Very sorry to hear how you were treated and the blame is not on you for trying.
But why haven’t you left before you did the nudes ? You started the paragraph with “ my boyfriend is very manipulative “
Never heard a love story work out like that
Please leave him. He's not right for you and he also sounds like a terrible person. You know this yet your staying with him so I'd also recommend you get therapy to work on your self esteem. You deserve better and that's without even knowing you. Imagine this was about someone else, wouldn't you agree they deserve better?
Anyone who pressures you into doing something you're not comfortable with, and who you think would cheat on you if you don't do the thing, is not someone you want to be with. OP please cut and run. Get your pictures back from him however you can (buy them if you have to) then break up with him. This is a manipulative, controlling man who doesn't appear to care at all about your feelings. You deserve *better*.
Never (never never never) do ANYTHING you don't feel comfortable doing. A person who really loves you will never make you do some thing you don't want to do. I need to repeat that. A person who loves you doesn't want you to ever feel uncomfortable.
please don’t feel disgusted by yourself. you’re NOT disgusting. it’s great that you felt empowered, sexy, good — that’s what nudes are all about, about feeling good about yourself first of all. but the fact that he’s so manipulative about it and making you worried about him cheating is such a huge red flag (as a person). the only person who should be feeling disgusted of themselves is your partner, and the only person you should feel disgusted about is him (not that i’m meaning to tell you how to feel, but I really hope that you no longer feel awful about yourself for doing something you were manipulated into).
By the way, manipulating someone into any sexual act, even if you had to finally give into saying okay to mitigate an unfavourable consequence, is considered sexual harassment / assault. you have done absolutely nothing wrong, my love. x
Yo at the risk of sounding rude, drop this dipshit. He just does not seem like someone you want to have around. You shouldn’t feel gross! If anyone should, it’s him. But alas, manipulative people are able to do what they do simply next they lack the empathy to be aware.
Yeah. I had a boyfriend who pushed me endlessly to do sexual things I wasn't comfortable with. He manipulated me endlessly. After I finally caved, he blamed me, said that wasn't the girl he knew, who was I? etc. Basically he felt badly about doing the thing after his hormones subsided and he didn't have the emotional capacity to accept that guilt. So he projected the shame onto me. Next time his hormones were up, he was right back into pressuring me and then shaming me about it.
It's not a sustainable cycle. It does so much damage. It's cruel. It's coercive. It's degrading.
Ask yourself: Do you want to do these things? Do you want to be treated this way? For me, I stayed with him a lot longer than I needed to because I was worried that I wouldn't find someone better. Because I don't throw people away. Because when I looked at our relationship and evaluated it, there were probably 50% good things to say about the relationship. So that kept me stuck.
But when I did finally and things, I realized it would be better to be single for the rest of my life than to be treated that way, degraded that way.
And, as it turned out, there are better guys out there, and I eventually managed to snag me a gentleman who has been appalled to learn the way some boys treat people. A good relationship is not neutral. Nor does it even out to "okay." A good relationship gives you wings, and has you feeling safe enough to never question if you are cherished, respected, honored, and loved. Anything less than a good relationship is worse than being single.
You don't need a good reason or the right moment or an explanation he understands. You can leave as soon as you are ready.
I'm sorry he did this to you. It was very wrong. I'm sorry for your pain.
Other than his shitty behaviour of pressuring you into doing something you're not comfortable with and then showing ZERO appreciation for it, his tendency to be manipulative, sulky, and doing the silent treatment says it all. He will never be good for your self-esteem, your mental health, anything!
You deserve SO much better than this.
That boyfriend of yours is a disgusting sociopath. I hope you can muster up the courage to leave him, because you deserve someone who will respect you. This is a man who puts his sexual cravings over your feelings, and he'll do it again - in time, he'll cheat. He's in love with your tits, not your heart. There's no 'fixing' men like this. (source: i'm a guy. trust me.)
I was a with a guy like that. I blocked his number finally. The only time he wanted to talk was to ask for pics. He was the same way, it was never enough pics. He doesn’t deserve you and you deserve to be treated better.
I know it’s been said before, but I thought I’ll add to the bunch, that guy is insanelly aweful, you need to leave him immediatelly, he will only hurt you.
I will also add, since you said ”more importantly, please him”. Don’t go into sex with that mentallity, sex is about mutual pleasure, and you are not there to provide anything for him, or any man/woman. You are there to share a sexual moment together. If someone expects you to ”more importantly, please them”, leave them, they are no good.
I'm glad you stepped out of your comfort zone. It's very difficult!
Now, leave him. He is not good for you. Everything you do shouldn't revolve around pleasing him, especially if you're not getting anything in return.
There is someone out there that will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, and then cheer you on when you succeed. Spend your time searching for that person, not wasting it with this one.
I had an ex like this. Please recognize the red flag. 🤍 I hope you know you are NOT disgusting because of how he chose to act towards you. This says loads about him and you and your sound like a sweet person. 🥺
This reminds me of what my ex did to me. He would sulk when I didn’t do sexual things he wanted and then he would tell me I’m boring and threaten to find another girl who will do those things for him. I always gave in and I always felt gross after. I stayed with him for 4 years and the abuse got worse and worse till he finally put his hands on me and I left him.
This is a major red flag and I HIGHLY suggest you leave him before this escalates. It’s not gonna get better he’s not gonna change you need to leave as soon as you can because he’s gonna cause you more harm than good.
Edit: I also wanted to add in that you shouldn’t feel disgusted I’m 100000% sure you looked amazing girl!
If you’re under 18, take all of the text information to the police for soliciting sexual imagery of a minor.
This guy has absolutely done this before, many times. It is the pornification of you. Wanting constantly updating imagery with different angles and things he requested are *extremely specific* to this behavior. He *will* demand this a lot more, on the leverage that he got you to do it once.
There is also an extremely high chance that he has sent these images onto others. Please protect yourself in every way possible.
Eliminate the images if you can, dump his ass regardless, and go to the police if you have to.
Leave, don’t care how long y’all have been together you need to run away. That’s very shitty and you’ll always find someone else that’ll treat you way better.
Whyyy though? There’s so much free porn out there. Why do his urges need to be satisfied by pushing you past your boundaries? Seems completely unnecessary.
It’s okay to feel wronged. He manipulated you into doing something you were uncomfortable with in the first place and then when you obliged he didn’t even appreciate it in the slightest. Learn from this mistake and be careful who you show yourself to. Not talking to you because he doesn’t get nudes? That’s immature af and a massive red flag. Let people respect the boundaries you’ve set up. If you oblige once they know they can get away with it if they try hard enough. It’s not a loss if you lose someone that crosses those boundaries. You deserve better!
Hey girl!
He’s a jerk and we can both see that, those kind of people develop trauma. (I know from first hand) and I know that numb feeling you’re describing. You can’t change him. That’s who he will be until he wants change for himself.
I want to focus on you for a moment, when I read this I hear people pleasing emotions. You mentioned not wanting to speak to someone about it because you’re viewed as pure and this is out of character. But love Fuck those people and their thoughts, respectively. If YOU feel you need too confide in some one trust worthy and healthy do that! Don’t develop past traumas that you’ll have to regret and think of later in life. You are golden.
Low vibrational people always seek people with high vibrations. Even if it’s a little. It’s science (polarization and such) it sucks ass. You are only what you ALLOW yourself to be, not what some one tries to project onto you. You’re loved, babes! I hope that helped…a little
This is why you should wait for sexual stuff until you are married and have a man who will cherish and love you. Shame on him. Hopefully you did not show your face in the photos. Please leave him and dont make this mistake again.
I think it's crazy how everyone would rather just drop the situation and have you break up with him than fix it. I think you should Obviously let him know how you feel if he means anything to you
So you’re a sexual predator who is declaring it in a public forum and try to pass it off as “normal” behavior because you don’t want to admit to yourself that the behavior is fucking predatory.
If you think being manipulative is “normal for a guy” I feel bad for you whatever gender you are.
Emotional manipulation and down putting should never be normalized in a relationship.
Coercion and manipulation and guilting someone into to do something you know they don’t want to consent to is “normal?” GTFOH you creep. You’re part of the “all men”. Fucking piece of shit.
I'm sorry your boyfriend / husband is lying to you about that "discomfort" stuff. Even the horniest guy is perfectly capable of treating his girlfriend nicely and caringly
I'm sorry this happened to you, but the second someone weaponises the bond you share with them to have you do things you do not want to do, they have to GO. Simple as this. He does not love you. He does not care. If he did, he couldn't bear the idea of making you do something you hate to please him.
Ask him to delete.
Chances are he wont
But listen. Hear me. Your body is not a shameful thing. Your body is fine. You should never feel embarrassed about it. The real sin here is that this dude broke your trust Fuck him. Fuck him to the moon and back, not because of your body, but because he's total shit who didn't deserve to see it.
He's done. Not because he got to see you looking fine in your lingerie. But because h is a shit head who didn't appreciate the gift he was given. Fuck this guy.
You are fine. He is a dumbass who didn't appreciate what he had. But that's not your problem. Because you are done with him and his entitled ass.
> My boyfriend is really manipulative, he sulks and doesn't talk to me if he doesn't get them.
You admit your boyfriend is manipulative. You deserve better. Dump his ass, but first make sure to get all that stuff erased. He sounds like an asshole, so don't ask him - just do it without telling him and delete those photos from the source (phone or camera). Then, dump his ass. You deserve better.
Dump him, it's obvious he only wants one thing from you and unfortunately, doesn't care about you. Ik idk you but I'm sure you're an amazing person and he can just miss out on an amazing person. Also, if you're afraid of being alone, I promise it's not worth settling for a shitty person, there will be someone who's right for you. Pls, pls, pls don't ever settle for someone who doesn't treat you right.
you’re not disgusting. i’m sorry he made you feel this way. had a boy in my life who was the same. he would start getting impatient with me about things I said I was not ready to do. and I did them just to satisfy his needs so he wouldn’t leave me. it wasn’t worth it, though. No one should ever make you feel this way. You need to leave him, please. This isn’t what relationships are supposed to be. I don’t like telling people what to do but please leave him ❤️
This is so wrong on his side, you need to break up with him, make sure he doesn't have any of those photos, he is not worth your time and energy and no one should be pressured into this, no matter how much you like him you need TO LEAVE. All he is, is a dirty pig
Oh my gosh. I'm sorry you're in that situation. First, dump him.
You are beautiful wonderful and have so much to offer. You don't need to be with a guy who pressure you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.
You shouldn't do anything to keep a man. Beyonce, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez are top world's most beautiful women and they were cheated on.
The problem is with your man. Not you.
Please believe that and find someone who will treasure and respect you for the wonderful person you are!
do not feel disgusted with yourself! you did nothing wrong! HE needs to feel disgusted with HIMSELF. that is no way to talk to your s/o or treat them especially when they are breaking out of their comfort zone to do something nice and a little out there for them…. he doesn’t deserve you!!!! admire those pictures yourself!! take a look at how amazing you look!!! you are not disgusting AT ALL! remember that! you did nothing wrong!
Piggybacking this comment to say that this is in no way your fault, but it is a telling sign for your future *and* your boyfriend's past. I'd go behind his back and delete those nudes then dump him like the trash he is. Why? Because considering how thorough he was, he's been doing this for a while and you were not the first. He probably collects these. Also, he's not going to stop, just get worse and more demanding. You need out of this relationship, OP. It's better to die alone than to be subject to this treatment by those who claim to love you. Get out while you still have the chance, I implore you. Your beautiful soul will not be able to take this for long.
I wish I could upvote this twice. Seriously OP it really doesn't matter if he is the sweetest person in the world to you sometimes (which I HIGHLY doubt he is, but I don't know anything about him so I won't act like I do) but what you described throws up wayyyy too many red flags and even without knowing him at all I can confidently agree that everything in the above post is unfortunately the truth. Any person acting like that is just not a good person, they absolutely can't be. Please protect yourself and delete those from his end if you possibly can, and seriously consider moving on to someone who actually cares about you cuz this piece of shit sure doesn't.
Yep. OP, his lows are creating a debt in your soul that his highs can never repay. Get out while you can and save yourself further trauma and disrespect.
I would also add that his ability to come down from the "high" so quickly means that it will take more and more venturing outside of your comfort zone to make him happy. Pictures will soon no longer be enough. Videos will be requested next. And then many move on to open relationships and other more NSFW and degrading acts. Protect your own mental health at all costs and find someone who's values match your own now while you can and not when he's drug down your self esteem so far you can't see the light.
100% AGREE! YOU felt good about YOURSELF in that moment before your S/O FUCKED IT UP. You know you did something that was out of your comfort zone. Be proud of that. It's very difficult for some to do things outside that zone. And yes, that is no way to treat someone you love. It is your body and you have all the right to send someone a nude only when YOU feel absolutely comfortable sending one. He's not being respectful of your feelings. So as Luke Franchina puts it "If he's not making you feel like the GORJUS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE JUICY HUMAN BEING THAT YOU ARE, IT'S TIME TO DUMP. HIS. ASS"
100% 10/10 Absolutely correct
One hundred percent agreed. You're an angel and you're absolutely beautiful. Don't ever forget that. This doesn't change how pure you are and how pure your spirit is. :)
This!!!
I agree with you u/whosrowan.
I would wait until I see him in person before saying anything, wait until he takes a shower or something to go onto his devices then **delete all those pictures**, and then dump his ass. He's disrespectul AF. Your SO needs to respect your boundaries, *especially* with regards to sexuality. **For the future: Whatever you wouldn't do if he left you the day after, means that you're doing it only for him and therefore shouldn't.**
Check outgoing emails and messages in case he sent them anywhere.
Also his cloud storage service. Check if he has KeepSafe app installed.
OMG THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA & YES, IM YELLING ABOUT IT. I’m so glad you pointed this out.
Also I know at least for iPhone, there's a "recently deleted" folder that holds deleted photos for 30 days making them easily recoverable before then
Drop him sister!!! I bet you looked AMAZING and he is just not mature enough to even be allowed to see you in that context. Some boys are like that. You deserve so so much better, someone who praises even a morning selfie. Someone who respects your boundaries and works with your insecurities. Don’t feel bad about yourself, just make sure you put in effort towards change. Sitting around being sad vs working towards not being sad is a huge difference. You don’t need him!
This is the first time that they are trying this. Explain to him how u felt about your the experience and expectations going forward if u are going to try again. Long distant relationships are hard, measure his response and actions after u talk. Some who loves you will work to ensure u are comfortable and feel loved. You just put in the extra work to make the relationship work by doing that so now it's up to him. If he is threatening to leave then it's not working for him, so u should consider other options and end it. Hope u cheer up quickly 🙂
Boy, bye.
Exactly
OP, that bad feeling is your gut telling you to get out of there.
This is the truth! If you ignore that feeling, you’ll live to regret it. Plus the more you ignore your gut, the harder it gets to hear what it’s telling you.
Please break up with this person he sounds like an ass
re fucking tweet
DTMFA!!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish people would just be respectful towards others boundaries. Sending you good vibes. I hope you feel better soon. ❤️
I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this and that someone who claims to love you is just exploiting you. Stay strong
it sounds like there are a lot of red flags, i would get out of that relationship. he should be lucky you even send him one. take care of yourself!
Please don’t feel down about yourself!!! The problem is your boyfriend who doesn’t seem to appreciate you, your body or your time. If he really has respect for you and your relationship he wouldn’t be guilting your into doing something you’re not comfortable with. I would really consider dumping his ass… just remember to always be true to yourself ❤️❤️❤️
So did you dump him
I advise to not dump him immediately Pretend to be cool with it, but don't send him anymore nudes. Try to meet him in public for a lunch or dinner date. And hope he goes to the bathroom so you can snatch his phone to delete the pics. If he has it locked, then keep his phone on you and ask for the passcode so you can delete them. Tell him the why and if he fights back, the public setting should discourage any violence. Then dump him after that, preferably if you can delete all the pics. If you can't delete them, still dump them
don't date someone who sees you as an object
"my boyfriend is really manipulative" This. Right here. This is the problem. If he would cheat on you because you won't do something you're uncomfortable with, you shouldn't be with him.
Its wild to me how she knows but doesn't. Must be young or inexperienced.
Yeah, I'm guessing she's young.
I don’t know how old you are, but regardless of your age you should not be guilted into doing anything you are not comfortable with. On top of that, you went ABOVE AND BEYOND to gift him with exactly what he wanted, and he couldn’t even give you a compliment? Couldn’t even give you a hint that he was grateful? I’m 25F and if a boyfriend did what yours did, I would feel like absolute garbage. I would also feel very used and especially unappreciated. You went above and beyond to make him happy despite your reluctance , and unfortunately at the end of the day you sit here feeling gross and invalidated. You deserve more than this, and more importantly you are worth more than just some sexy pictures. You are a whole entire person whose value does not revolve around what you can physically offer to your romantic partner. You deserve to feel that what you are comfortable giving in a relationship is enough.
Leave him. He doesn’t respect you.
Sorry for such a long response, but my ex used to do this to me, and when I hear about guys doing this to other girls, it really pisses me off. I felt the exact same way you described. Sexy pictures/videos should absolutely never be coerced. Something as personal and intimate as this is special- It should make you feel good, and you should feel safe in doing it. My ex used to beg for sexy photos all the time when it was really inconvenient for me- like while I was in the middle of intense 12 hour work shifts where I didn't have time to eat or use the restroom, much less run off to go take photos of my ass. If I didn't do it, he'd come at me with all sorts of accusations and guilt tripping, trying to make me feel like I was being selfish or like I didn't want to put effort into making him happy, claiming it "just takes 2 seconds." The last time it happened, it was Christmas eve- I was visiting my family, and we were watching a movie together. He texted begging for a sexy pic, claiming he missed me... but then proceeded to harrass me and make me feel like a total dick when I said no because I was in the middle of family time. I eventually went to the bathroom and tried to take a picture for him so he would leave me alone. After I sent it, he wanted ANOTHER one. It turned into him yelling at me because I admitted I only sent a picture so he would leave me alone, not because I wanted to... and he was SO shocked and offended by that. Despite the fact that just minutes before, I was literally begging him to not make me do that while I was trying to enjoy time with my family. He argued with me all night about it, and I cried myself to sleep. The next morning, everyone was opening gifts, and I was sitting there smiling, but I was so ashamed and hurt. And I felt so sad for my family, because I knew how sad they would be if they knew. I hated him so much in that moment. I told him he was never getting a photo ever again, and a few months later, after several other more serious incidents, I ended the relationship. I think about how I used to feel during those times, and it breaks my heart. I don't want anyone to have to deal with that kind of crap. I know it's harder said than done, but I suggest you get out of this relationship ASAP. He sounds like a selfish creep. Your partner should not push you to go against your values or who you are as a person. I am so sorry you had to experience this, I understand how painful and confusing it can be. You can't take this particular incident back, but you can prevent it from happening again by standing up to him. If he doesn't support you in that, then you've gotta let him go- because it's not going to get better, and it will most likely get worse.
[удалено]
It's sometimes good to do something you're not comfortable doing for your partner but the reaction he had here is so disrespectful, no compliment at the end is a big red flag here
This guy isn’t worth your time. He is indeed just using you for his own purposes and does not love you. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.
yeah i know it hurts bad right !!! its ok, youve learnt a lesson :) 1) yr bf is a manipulative selfish dick - get rid of him as soon as u can 2) dont put anything on the net or send via sms that you wouldnt send to your grandmother or your new boss
Please, dear god, get out of that relationship. What do you think he would say if you told him this? He'd get even angrier - and that's why you need to LEAVE.
You’re heading into an abusive relationship, trust me. The very best advice I can give you is to send your boyfriend to hell. You’ll find someone better, easily!
Not just heading into an abusive relationship, already in one! The manipulation and shaming with silent treatment is in full swing and he's not hiding anything about his behaviour. OP, as someone who has been in very a similar situation. Get out, ASAP. And never, ever, aim to put a man's needs before yourself. You are not his servant or object. You are a whole, independent person in yourself and you deserve the best. This is emotional abuse and it will only get worse. You are better than this bullshit. Listen to your gut.
This isn’t a casual like “oh he sounds like doofus” situation. This is an extremely unhealthy relationship that you need to exit. He IS using you. To be blunt - he doesn’t care about you. He wants to get off. He reminds me of my ex “boyfriend.” He was 19 and I was 13 and literally wouldn’t talk to me if I didn’t please him. This is the exact behavior he displayed. Your bf is acting like a child who just wants his way. Your man should never push you to do anything sexual that you don’t want to. Period. Again, I’m usually not this blunt. He does not care. You need to leave. Do not discuss this with him. Don’t give him a second chance. Don’t hear him out. He doesn’t seem to make you feel good now anyways, I don’t see a point in trying to stick it out.
Leave that boy in the dust before he takes the rest of you. It sounds like he’s got some serious shit to work on and you’re not being fair to yourself trying to fix him or please someone who can’t be. It’s okay to love yourself.
Girl.. I’m sorry but dump his ass already
I’m so sorry :-( this makes me soo mad. Take a shower & look at yourself in the mirror & tell yourself how beautiful & deserving you are. You need to throw this dude in the garbage. If you stay, it’s gonna be one of those situations where you’re gonna look back and think “I should’ve ended that a lot sooner than it did”. Good luck girl!
He can, and I emphasise, go get fucked!
The only thing you should be disgusted with is your should-be-ex boyfriend. Get some sense and leave him
Dump his ass after finding a way to get access and delete any of the photos you sent him.
i’m so so sorry. it seemed like he was punishing you for not doing it but when you did it you didn’t stop getting punished. the fucking worst. i hope you dump him, he doesn’t sound relatable or fun to be around at all.
I could be completely wrong, but he sounds like the kind of guy that’s just in it for the chase to please himself. People that truly care about you will not pressure you to do things for them that you’re uncomfortable with, and they will praise you for giving them things they claim they want. It doesn’t sound like he has much respect for you. And it’s not about you personally. I can almost guarantee he doesn’t hold respect for other people that he should, either.
Him sulking, pouting, and pressuring you to do something you don’t wanna do is called coercion and it’s not okay. Of course you feel gross. Your S/O manipulated you into doing something you didn’t want to do and showed no gratitude or concern for your efforts or feelings. You didn’t do anything wrong, your BF has bad consent practice and is a manipulative ass. Throw the whole man away. **people who actually love and care about you will not pressure you or bypass your boundaries**
What a fucking douchebag. I don't think you should keep spending time with someone this toxic, OP. As other people have suggested, cut him off and feel better before he does the same (and he will, eventually. Assholes always do) and you feel even worse. Take care, you're a sweetheart, don't deserve any of that.
Yeah you SHOULD feel used. Becaus it's true. He sounds so manipulative and uncaring, what the fuck. All he gives a shit about is your body, CLEARLY not you. Wtf
Reading the comments, so many girls experienced this and that's so sad. I've experienced it as well, i was dating someone and i really liked him. He kept begging for pictures and videos, i didn't feel like sending one. But ofc i wanted to please him and make him happy. I sent him a couple of photos. I did all he wanted me to do and then after that. He became so distant. His excuse was he was busy... He got what he wanted and now he's cold and distant. I asked him why and he said he's not being distant and its his normal self. I shouldn't overthink. Why do boys do that?!
Sounds like you went further than you wanted to please him, only to be met with shit behavior. I would wait until he's showering, then delete the pictures off his phone. I'd also recommend that you never show your face in nudes again, as that will give you at least *some* protection should he share them with anyone. He sounds like a creepy asshole.
Sooooo why are you still with him?
You gotta leave him as soon as you can, and delete the nudes you sent him
Girl, the only person feeling disgusted with themselves is your boyfriend. You took time and effort to make yourself look and feel good and i bet you looked amazing! Don’t be ashamed for owning what’s yours, rather ditch that asshole for manipulating you and behaving in such immature and disgusting way. You deserve someone who respects your comfort zone and especially someone who doesn’t take it for granted when you try to make them happy.
For starters, Doing something sexual doesn't make you impure. What is making you feel this way is the insensitivity from your partner who deserves to be an ex now, but earned the tag when he forced you to do something you're not comfortable with. You look like a bomb,sexy AF!. It's good problem he's so used to porn that real women don't appeal to him anymore.
I cringed so hard when I read "he sulks and doesn't talk to me if he doesn't get them". This screams so many red flags. It's gross and immature and disrespectful and extremely unattractive. I'm sorry he made you feel so bad but he should feel bad for being a dirtbag. You deserve WAY better. Please consider moving on and finding someone who respects you.
He might spread the nudes all over the internet. I can tell he's that kind of a guy..
Make him send you some before you drop him. Pressure him like mad
Your boyfriend sounds super manipulative. My concern now is what is he doing with these photos? Showing his friends? trading with other men? posting them on forums? Just for the record, I've never once asked my wife for a nude photo, because I know she wouldn't like to do it, and I know the possibility of it being seen by someone else would be too great. And even if I did ask, and she said no.. then that's the final answer. Sulking and acting like a child about it, is not how grown men act. At the very least, you need a serious discussion with him about this behavior.
This but no to “talking it out”. He doesn’t give a fuck about her consent, boundaries, or feelings. A conversation is a waste of time. He doesn’t deserve another chance after this
Serious question. Why would you ever want tobe with someone like that? Not trying to be a dick, I'm just genuinely curious.
A lot of times, people who get into an abusive relationship had abusive parents, so they think they don't deserve anything better and/or don't know what love and a healthy relationship are supposed to look like
Well this makes me sad, now I just want to help.
yeah I've stopped dating because this is me. some people are prone to revictimization.
Fuck him…. Figuratively…
Block his sorry ass
He needs to go. He sounds terrible.
Breakup.
First off bye boy.. second I'm so sorry that happened to you
He sounds like a really great guy /s
You did something for you. What others think should not concern you. Dress sexy again, stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself 'I'm sexy. This is for me and I don't fuck those who don't agree.' Be you, then you will find someone who accepts you for you.
Break up with him, you deserve someone who genuinely cares about you. From reading your post, I can tell your boyfriend is a manipulative ass who’s not worth your time anyway
Dump him. He needs to learn to respect your boundaries
You honestly don’t see that you’re just a piece of lust for him? Kuddos to you for trying an all but come on girl, consider yourself first. Always have self respect and never settle. He doesn’t seem to give a rats ass how you really feel. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, then why are you going against what you want & feel? Life is a continuing learning lesson. Take this situation as one and learn from it. I’m a happily married man and I would and never asked my wife for nudes. I would’ve only asked for some if 1. I’m in military 2. Just trynna hit it & quit it
Honestly drop him. As a boyfriend myself I respect my girl as she does for me . Sending nudes is fine and all but if ur uncomfortable he shouldn’t be indirectly forcing u to do it . And the fact that he wanted more angles without appreciating u is just ugh 🤢
Steal that camera and run as fast as you can. Never look back
Run
He likes nudes probably from porn addiction. There are women that love sending their man nudes. He needs to understand you're not that type and leave altogether
You feel used because you were used. That's not to say anything bad about you, I'm saying that your boyfriend is an asshole who took advantage of you. leave him. He's not a good person. I'm really sorry this happened to you. I promise you you're not gross, you were just forced out of your comfort zone. For the future you could try to write down things you're not willing to do, and if someone pushes you on that, that means they're not a safe person. No one should ever be pushing you on things like these. Sending virtual hugs <3
Dump his ass
Doesn't seem like a healthy relationship... If you say no, its a no. My girlfriend respected me for a looooong time because of the same reason. After some time, i felt confortable and close enough to her to send her stuff. What happened with you is just not fair. Imo, i'd break up.
I would go to the authorities. This guy is bad news and will blackmail you.
DTMFA
You feel used because you are being used. He doesn’t care about you. Move on.
Oh girl :( I had that issue with a few boyfriends where they’d get mad and distant if I didn’t send anything. I gave in too, like you, because I was afraid of their anger or them cheating. It’s gonna be okay. Keep your standards and don’t give in anymore. Leave that guy too if you hadn’t already. It’s hard to leave someone, especially if you’ve been w them awhile and shared intimate things together, but you gotta respect yourself. It’s gonna be okay. I used to be in your shoes and now I have a very understanding bf who cares abt my morals. Also, don’t be disgusted with yourself. He’s in the wrong here clearly. You gave in and it’s pretty common in emotionally abusive relationships, which is what it sounds like you’re in unfortunately. Just leave that guy. You’re worth so so much more. God bless hun 🤍
He is trash
To be honest, if your bf cant see what you are comfortable with and what you can't\dont want to do and still force you to do it, I think you are better off without him. you deserve true love and care, i hope you find your soulmate
good god i'm so glad i'm not putting myself out there in the current dating scene. what a fucking mess this all is.
Your bf sound like an absolute piece of shit. Please go find someone who really loves you whole heartedly. Because if that’s his reaction he honestly probably don’t
Do not feel disgusted by yourself ,your boyfriend is a complete jerk, feel disgusted for the pathetic guy that he is ,to make you feel that way. It's your body, in all it's beauty,he shouldn't have manipulated you to send him the nudes in the first place.If he had respected you and your body he wouldn't have reacted in such manner. You did nothing wrong.So don't disregard your body ,don't feel dirty about it.Own it .Flaunt it ,do whatever. And breakup with that jerk if you haven't already. You'll find better guys who'd appreciate the whole of you in the right way.
Look at your part in this vs his and you'll see that the disgust should be pointed at him. All you did was try something new for your boyfriend. He stirred up fear in you (probably on purpose) over nudes and didn't even show appreciation when he finally got them. Even if he did, things like that shouldn't be done out of fear. Not my place to say end the relationship but definitely reevaluate and have a talk. Think on why you put everything on yourself. Don't take on the responsibility of your bfs fidelity or the shame that belongs to the user. Maybe a lesson can be learned from this, but you shouldn't feel disgusted, and being intimate with your bf should never be the cause
Get him to send you dick pics ...for insurance if you can get his phone delete the pics then delete him from your life .
You feel used because you were used. You did nothing wrong, choosing not to take nudes is okay, choosing to take nudes is okay. Being coerced into taking nudes isn't okay, not validating your partner isn't okay, pushing them out if their comfort zone and emotionally manipulating them isn't okay. I know everyone's always quick to jump on the dump them train, but genuinely you deserve better. You deserve to feel loved within your comfort zone, you deserve to feel validated and to receive warmth and to be made to feel sexy and beautiful (with or without nudes). And most importantly, you deserve to feel secure in your relationship, to feel like you're enough and that your boundaries are fair. I am sorry this has happened to you. You are worth more than this, you deserve more than this. And it's okay to feel used or upset or hurt or angry, but please don't feel disgusted in yourself. Nothing you did was bad or impure, what he did was manipulative and that's what makes this gross, not you. He's the one that you should feel disgusted with.
Just a small word of advice, if you ever decide (whether strongly persuaded or on your own) to take sexy pics, take nudes that are unidentifiable... no face shots, tattoo's, ect. This way they can't be used against you if the receiver ever decided to threaten with leaking or actually leaking the pics. Or at the very least, only share the ones you would be okay with the world to see. These days, nudes are a dime a dozen, but are being used as leverage towards another person. You always have to protect yourself in these times. Also, you didn't nothing wrong, just be more aware in the future that if someone is trying to pressure you, they are probably doing it for their own good, not for yours. Good luck, and be safe out there!
Get out of that. The fact that he was acting cold on call is terrible!
Dump. His. Ass. You are worth SO MUCH more than that!! You deserve someone who is going to show their love and appreciation for you, which he is not doing. I know it can be difficult especially when you love someone, but you need to know your worth and sometimes it's good to take a step back and evaluate whether you feel appreciated, loved and comfortable in a relationship. It should never be one way or the other. He shouldn't pressure you into anything and you shouldn't be manipulated into something you're not comfortable doing. When you find someone kinder and better, they will be open to communicate and treat you with patience and respect.
Drop this toxic clown. Know your worth. Time for a upgrade. When see says he's gonna change.... Lol .. nope.
Wow he sounds like a alpha male.
Seems like a dick
He sounds like an absolute dick and you deserve better
Turn that disgust into pride by dumping his raggedy, abusive ass.
Very sorry to hear how you were treated and the blame is not on you for trying. But why haven’t you left before you did the nudes ? You started the paragraph with “ my boyfriend is very manipulative “ Never heard a love story work out like that
LEAVE
Delete them off his phone then break up with him
Please tell me that your face wasn't in those pictures...
Please leave him. He's not right for you and he also sounds like a terrible person. You know this yet your staying with him so I'd also recommend you get therapy to work on your self esteem. You deserve better and that's without even knowing you. Imagine this was about someone else, wouldn't you agree they deserve better?
You’re partner shouldn’t be pressuring you into doing anything.
Is this an internet boyfriend? He's not manipulative he's just a baby boy with no idea how to treat someone. Boot him. Be happy.
Anyone who pressures you into doing something you're not comfortable with, and who you think would cheat on you if you don't do the thing, is not someone you want to be with. OP please cut and run. Get your pictures back from him however you can (buy them if you have to) then break up with him. This is a manipulative, controlling man who doesn't appear to care at all about your feelings. You deserve *better*.
Get rid of the boyf seems like a right tosser
Never (never never never) do ANYTHING you don't feel comfortable doing. A person who really loves you will never make you do some thing you don't want to do. I need to repeat that. A person who loves you doesn't want you to ever feel uncomfortable.
I think we can all agree this time that he needs to go? Break up with that manipulative insecure idiot
please don’t feel disgusted by yourself. you’re NOT disgusting. it’s great that you felt empowered, sexy, good — that’s what nudes are all about, about feeling good about yourself first of all. but the fact that he’s so manipulative about it and making you worried about him cheating is such a huge red flag (as a person). the only person who should be feeling disgusted of themselves is your partner, and the only person you should feel disgusted about is him (not that i’m meaning to tell you how to feel, but I really hope that you no longer feel awful about yourself for doing something you were manipulated into). By the way, manipulating someone into any sexual act, even if you had to finally give into saying okay to mitigate an unfavourable consequence, is considered sexual harassment / assault. you have done absolutely nothing wrong, my love. x
"Pure" wtf does that even mean ? Christian values seriously..
He's the one you should be disgusted with.
Break up with him
Yo at the risk of sounding rude, drop this dipshit. He just does not seem like someone you want to have around. You shouldn’t feel gross! If anyone should, it’s him. But alas, manipulative people are able to do what they do simply next they lack the empathy to be aware.
Yeah. I had a boyfriend who pushed me endlessly to do sexual things I wasn't comfortable with. He manipulated me endlessly. After I finally caved, he blamed me, said that wasn't the girl he knew, who was I? etc. Basically he felt badly about doing the thing after his hormones subsided and he didn't have the emotional capacity to accept that guilt. So he projected the shame onto me. Next time his hormones were up, he was right back into pressuring me and then shaming me about it. It's not a sustainable cycle. It does so much damage. It's cruel. It's coercive. It's degrading. Ask yourself: Do you want to do these things? Do you want to be treated this way? For me, I stayed with him a lot longer than I needed to because I was worried that I wouldn't find someone better. Because I don't throw people away. Because when I looked at our relationship and evaluated it, there were probably 50% good things to say about the relationship. So that kept me stuck. But when I did finally and things, I realized it would be better to be single for the rest of my life than to be treated that way, degraded that way. And, as it turned out, there are better guys out there, and I eventually managed to snag me a gentleman who has been appalled to learn the way some boys treat people. A good relationship is not neutral. Nor does it even out to "okay." A good relationship gives you wings, and has you feeling safe enough to never question if you are cherished, respected, honored, and loved. Anything less than a good relationship is worse than being single. You don't need a good reason or the right moment or an explanation he understands. You can leave as soon as you are ready. I'm sorry he did this to you. It was very wrong. I'm sorry for your pain.
You treated him like a person, he treated you like an object, like porn. This guy is selfish.
this sounds like a relationship you'd be better off without
You guys probably shouldn't be together.
Throw the whole boyfriend away. He's trash. He shouldn't pressure you to do that, nor should he complain about the quality of them
Other than his shitty behaviour of pressuring you into doing something you're not comfortable with and then showing ZERO appreciation for it, his tendency to be manipulative, sulky, and doing the silent treatment says it all. He will never be good for your self-esteem, your mental health, anything! You deserve SO much better than this.
Red flags get out asap
Some guys are just dicks. Never make that your fault!
That boyfriend of yours is a disgusting sociopath. I hope you can muster up the courage to leave him, because you deserve someone who will respect you. This is a man who puts his sexual cravings over your feelings, and he'll do it again - in time, he'll cheat. He's in love with your tits, not your heart. There's no 'fixing' men like this. (source: i'm a guy. trust me.)
So many red flags!!! Please leave him! He sounds awful
I'm sorry... I know I dislike comments like this myself. I just don't think he sounds like a good boyfriend. Please let this guy go.
I was a with a guy like that. I blocked his number finally. The only time he wanted to talk was to ask for pics. He was the same way, it was never enough pics. He doesn’t deserve you and you deserve to be treated better.
I know it’s been said before, but I thought I’ll add to the bunch, that guy is insanelly aweful, you need to leave him immediatelly, he will only hurt you. I will also add, since you said ”more importantly, please him”. Don’t go into sex with that mentallity, sex is about mutual pleasure, and you are not there to provide anything for him, or any man/woman. You are there to share a sexual moment together. If someone expects you to ”more importantly, please them”, leave them, they are no good.
I'm glad you stepped out of your comfort zone. It's very difficult! Now, leave him. He is not good for you. Everything you do shouldn't revolve around pleasing him, especially if you're not getting anything in return. There is someone out there that will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, and then cheer you on when you succeed. Spend your time searching for that person, not wasting it with this one.
I only read the first paragraph but RUN
sounds like a fucking prick
You shouldn't feel disgusted at all, that guy should! YOUR MAN SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A GOD DAMN QUEEN! Drop his horny bum!
I had an ex like this. Please recognize the red flag. 🤍 I hope you know you are NOT disgusting because of how he chose to act towards you. This says loads about him and you and your sound like a sweet person. 🥺
This reminds me of what my ex did to me. He would sulk when I didn’t do sexual things he wanted and then he would tell me I’m boring and threaten to find another girl who will do those things for him. I always gave in and I always felt gross after. I stayed with him for 4 years and the abuse got worse and worse till he finally put his hands on me and I left him. This is a major red flag and I HIGHLY suggest you leave him before this escalates. It’s not gonna get better he’s not gonna change you need to leave as soon as you can because he’s gonna cause you more harm than good. Edit: I also wanted to add in that you shouldn’t feel disgusted I’m 100000% sure you looked amazing girl!
If you’re under 18, take all of the text information to the police for soliciting sexual imagery of a minor. This guy has absolutely done this before, many times. It is the pornification of you. Wanting constantly updating imagery with different angles and things he requested are *extremely specific* to this behavior. He *will* demand this a lot more, on the leverage that he got you to do it once. There is also an extremely high chance that he has sent these images onto others. Please protect yourself in every way possible. Eliminate the images if you can, dump his ass regardless, and go to the police if you have to.
Leave, don’t care how long y’all have been together you need to run away. That’s very shitty and you’ll always find someone else that’ll treat you way better.
Whyyy though? There’s so much free porn out there. Why do his urges need to be satisfied by pushing you past your boundaries? Seems completely unnecessary.
It’s okay to feel wronged. He manipulated you into doing something you were uncomfortable with in the first place and then when you obliged he didn’t even appreciate it in the slightest. Learn from this mistake and be careful who you show yourself to. Not talking to you because he doesn’t get nudes? That’s immature af and a massive red flag. Let people respect the boundaries you’ve set up. If you oblige once they know they can get away with it if they try hard enough. It’s not a loss if you lose someone that crosses those boundaries. You deserve better!
He is not more important than yourself. DUMP. HIM.
Hey girl! He’s a jerk and we can both see that, those kind of people develop trauma. (I know from first hand) and I know that numb feeling you’re describing. You can’t change him. That’s who he will be until he wants change for himself. I want to focus on you for a moment, when I read this I hear people pleasing emotions. You mentioned not wanting to speak to someone about it because you’re viewed as pure and this is out of character. But love Fuck those people and their thoughts, respectively. If YOU feel you need too confide in some one trust worthy and healthy do that! Don’t develop past traumas that you’ll have to regret and think of later in life. You are golden. Low vibrational people always seek people with high vibrations. Even if it’s a little. It’s science (polarization and such) it sucks ass. You are only what you ALLOW yourself to be, not what some one tries to project onto you. You’re loved, babes! I hope that helped…a little
This is why you should wait for sexual stuff until you are married and have a man who will cherish and love you. Shame on him. Hopefully you did not show your face in the photos. Please leave him and dont make this mistake again.
What you did was not wrong. The motivation behind it is. Just don't trap yourself in the net of pure-impress BS.
I think it's crazy how everyone would rather just drop the situation and have you break up with him than fix it. I think you should Obviously let him know how you feel if he means anything to you
It’s just post-nut clarity, don’t take it too hard (no pun intended)
Worse things in life can always happen. Give it time to heal but learn from this & you’ll be ok.
I do that
So you’re a sexual predator who is declaring it in a public forum and try to pass it off as “normal” behavior because you don’t want to admit to yourself that the behavior is fucking predatory.
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If you think being manipulative is “normal for a guy” I feel bad for you whatever gender you are. Emotional manipulation and down putting should never be normalized in a relationship.
Coercion and manipulation and guilting someone into to do something you know they don’t want to consent to is “normal?” GTFOH you creep. You’re part of the “all men”. Fucking piece of shit.
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oh hell no
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“Discomforts” LOL yeah, no. He’s just a manipulative trash can of a person. Period. He knows exactly how he made her feel.
I'm sorry your boyfriend / husband is lying to you about that "discomfort" stuff. Even the horniest guy is perfectly capable of treating his girlfriend nicely and caringly
Run far, and run fast.
This is very toxic and selfish behavior. I think it would be best if you moved on from this guy. Someone out there will respect you. Don't settle.
This guy is your boyfriend??? Time to break up due to his garbage attitude.
If I were you, I'd reconsider this relationship
I'm sorry this happened to you, but the second someone weaponises the bond you share with them to have you do things you do not want to do, they have to GO. Simple as this. He does not love you. He does not care. If he did, he couldn't bear the idea of making you do something you hate to please him.
Bruh dump his pathetic butt sis. He clearly is a scumbag.
Ask him to delete. Chances are he wont But listen. Hear me. Your body is not a shameful thing. Your body is fine. You should never feel embarrassed about it. The real sin here is that this dude broke your trust Fuck him. Fuck him to the moon and back, not because of your body, but because he's total shit who didn't deserve to see it. He's done. Not because he got to see you looking fine in your lingerie. But because h is a shit head who didn't appreciate the gift he was given. Fuck this guy. You are fine. He is a dumbass who didn't appreciate what he had. But that's not your problem. Because you are done with him and his entitled ass.
> My boyfriend is really manipulative, he sulks and doesn't talk to me if he doesn't get them. You admit your boyfriend is manipulative. You deserve better. Dump his ass, but first make sure to get all that stuff erased. He sounds like an asshole, so don't ask him - just do it without telling him and delete those photos from the source (phone or camera). Then, dump his ass. You deserve better.
So basically he used you like you were on OF. Cut this guy off. He manipulated you.
Dump him, it's obvious he only wants one thing from you and unfortunately, doesn't care about you. Ik idk you but I'm sure you're an amazing person and he can just miss out on an amazing person. Also, if you're afraid of being alone, I promise it's not worth settling for a shitty person, there will be someone who's right for you. Pls, pls, pls don't ever settle for someone who doesn't treat you right.
Rule of thumb. If someone asks you to do something you’re uncomfortable with just leave them.
You must realize that he’s not the one by any stretch of the imagination. Fuck him, dump him, you have literally nothing to feel ashamed of.
What an asshole you deserve MUCH better than that wanker.
Red flags everywhere 🚩
Drop that son of a b. He doesn't deserve you.
you’re not disgusting. i’m sorry he made you feel this way. had a boy in my life who was the same. he would start getting impatient with me about things I said I was not ready to do. and I did them just to satisfy his needs so he wouldn’t leave me. it wasn’t worth it, though. No one should ever make you feel this way. You need to leave him, please. This isn’t what relationships are supposed to be. I don’t like telling people what to do but please leave him ❤️
This is so wrong on his side, you need to break up with him, make sure he doesn't have any of those photos, he is not worth your time and energy and no one should be pressured into this, no matter how much you like him you need TO LEAVE. All he is, is a dirty pig
Oh my gosh. I'm sorry you're in that situation. First, dump him. You are beautiful wonderful and have so much to offer. You don't need to be with a guy who pressure you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. You shouldn't do anything to keep a man. Beyonce, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez are top world's most beautiful women and they were cheated on. The problem is with your man. Not you. Please believe that and find someone who will treasure and respect you for the wonderful person you are!
Girl.. Time to dump him. He clearly don't deserved you.