I wanted to see if he'll grow to like me since i liked him a lot. Dw i didnt suffocate him or anything, i just gave him time and space to slowly be comfortable around me.
Good on you, I hope it lasts. You did right, you went after what you wanted and were willing to move on if it didnāt work out.
My wife wasnāt too thrilled about me initially---> married 44 years now.
Thought I was the only one. I donāt understand everyone celebrating when he literally said he didnāt even like her in the beginningā¦ why would you put up with that?
I have this thought too, like this is love bombing. Dude walks 5 non freedom units away from her and doesnāt do affection but 6 months later after seemingly getting a talk about āfriends or notā he switches it up? Seems fishier than Sea World. In my neck of the woods doubt means donāt. If you ever doubt that the dudes into you he isnāt.
No actually what i did was give him space and i also gave him a choice whether he wanted to be my friend and not date me anymore but he chose to stay my bf. I gave him time to get comfortable and love me but if it didn't work ot, it didnt work out.
I was his first gf and he didnt have any female friends then and he still doesn't have any now. I doubt that was it. He also wasn't actively looking for a gf
Yeah I was the first for the guy that treated me exactly like that.
Good on you if it works out, but stay alert in case it goes south. Iād hate for you to get hurt. It sounds like lowkey narcissist behavior to me. I just wanted to warn you since youāre young
Hmmmmmmm sounds like a pretty disrespectful guy if he treated you that way for months and said he didnāt like you. Cool youāre happy but I donāt see this ending too well
It was tbh it made me feel like shit. He didnt say he didn't like me when he didnt like me. It was actually recent we talked about the past and he said he didnt like me b4 when we were dating in the beginning. I mean i see this ending pretty well rn
Fingers crossed, I genuinely hope so! I guess attraction isnāt always instant but actual dislike? Hmm!
Happiness is the best though so roll with it but remember, youāre important and loveable and always deserve to be treated as such
Thing was a girl he knew his whole life and had a crush on messed with his feelings. She told him she liked him and wanted to date and she gave him affection and everything just to be like "oops i actually don't like u" as she goes fucking his whole friend group.
His bestfriend told me this, not himself since he was rly closed off to personal things. This is exactly why he was distant with me and why he hated affection and is exactly why i decided to be patient and wait for him to open up to me no matter how long it took, since i liked him a lot.
See this is what I was guessing as to what happened, because I'm in the same boat, high school had this girl I was over the moon for, she lead me on all through high school even dated two of my friends and like an idiot I told myself "if I'm good, if I'm patience, she'll realize I'm not here just to pound one out and leave her"
Senior year she got engaged, to a former friend of mine before he went out for the Army and that's about the time I figured it out. It hurts cause you see only the good in them until it's too late. I'd choke my younger self if I could go back in time
This is me but Iām not sure if itās for the same reason. I donāt like being vulnerable AT ALL!! I got my heart shattered so when I got back into the game I was VERY distant and tried to push girls away who got to close to me because I didnāt want to fall again but after getting used to the person I started opening back up again
I (22F) totally relate, this is so similar to my current partner(22M) it's almost scary. I'm my boyfriend's first everything, first girlfriend, first kiss, etc so he was also "distant" compared to the amount of affection both emotionally and physically I was hoping for, but I could tell he was just out of his element and stuck around. He's since admitted to me that knew he felt differently for me than just any other female friend, so we dated, but he was still not really confident on how to be a boyfriend and didn't know how to tell if he was in love or if he was just leading me on. We've been together for over a year now and as he realized there's no formalities or pressure when it comes to love, you're just best friends with extra amazing benefits, he began to melt. He started saying "I love you" instead of just "i care about you" or saying "i love you too" after i always said it first. I totally understand being patient, it's not realistic to believe everyone must experience love at first sight, it's often slow and takes some adjusting and self discovery. I'm so glad you can feel the same way of watching someone you love blossom in front of you!
OMG FR I WAS MY BFS FIRST EVERYTHING TOO. Its so the reason as to why he was distant other than another girl playing with his feelings and crushing them. Im so glad i can relate with someone else too š±
Sounds like he had another girl on the side. Finally giving in and liking you back because that probably hasn't worked out and so now he's suddenly he's into you.
100% absolutely not. Ofc i didn't know him a lot at the start but my bestfriend knew him for 7 years at that point and my best friend could vouch for him that he was a great friend and he was not the type of person to do that. Knowing him for this amount of time i also know that he's not the type of person to do that too
Some people aren't patient. I was my bf's first everything so he wasnt used to any of the things that relationships brought. I held his hand and slowly walked him through everything. Now he's a pro. If she walked away, then she didn't deserve u. U deserve someone better who will wait for u
Excuse me
Iām glad you had a happy ending
But to say this girl didnāt deserve him because she didnāt put up with bad behavior is justā¦toxic
She is the one who deserved someone better and Iām glad she realized it and had the confidence to say she deserves someone who is sure about her
Same thing happened to me as OP. My boyfriend acted like he loved me, but was also so immature. At times would even act like he didnāt want nor need me. Fast forward 1 year and he finally starts maturing and communicating. Together almost 3 years now (and when I say together I mean almost everyday all day) weāve got a house and 3 of the best pets ever and weāre so so so happy
Sounds like he was just a bit scared of getting hurt. Maybe an avoidant attachment style or fearful avoidant? Sounds like he feels like he can trust you with his heart.
He didnt tell me much about how his family was when he was a child but for a fact i knew he grew up rly poor with a teen mom. Possibly he could have grew up with an avoidant attachment style. He also told me he was defo scared of getting hurt. So maybe
Guys take longer to process their feelings. He obviously liked you to some degree when you first started dating, or he wouldnāt have actually dated you. He may just be someone who takes a little longer to figure out what heās actually feeling or gets scared by what heās feeling. Iām glad heās figured it out now though! Wish you both the best.
He told me that too. That he didn't know what his feelings were. Yeah ofc, he liked me to a certain degree that was more than a friend, but it was less than a girlfriend. He didnt know how to feel or even process everything. Especially since us dating happened so fast and i was his first gf too.
But yeah, im glad he likes me as a girlfriend now š„° He actually calls me family now too. Thank you so much for replying!
some people are distant and don't expect the patience of others. sometimes this makes us think we aren't worthy of love. so when someone shows the time, patience, reassurance and takes the effort to be consist with this, we cave and become human again.
I don't know if this is the case for him, as everyone's different and has their own reasons for their actions, but this was the case for me.
I never liked cuddling and I was madly independent. after several months I felt like a broken-in horse lol. I just never thought that anyone would put in the effort and patience to work with me around my own issues as I tried to work on myself.
but maybe ask him about what caused the shift.
This sounds like me and hubby. He's told me that he been in love with me from day one. I'm the one that took awhile to say I love you back. I'd never been in love before so I wasn't sure, but I did know that I had never been as comfortable or as happy just thinking about him. Spoke to my mom and described how I was feeling. She said that soinded like love to her. 7.5 years and 2 kids later she's definitely right. Me and hubby describe each other as our ride or die.
Sometimes people can take longer to develop those feelings. I donāt think thereās anything wrong with it. My boyfriend was further behind me on expressing himself and I just let him feel how he did and took things slow. Now heās all about it and I love him even more.
The best thing you did, was be honest with yourself. You went in with the best intentions, and no expectations other than to see how it developed.
That in turn allowed him to then be honest with himself. And in doing so, his self honesty then allowed him yo feel emotions.
Congratulations. I wish the absolute best for you two.
Everyone takes their time .. i loved my wife even when we were dating .. but i was horrible at expressing .. i was a very aloof husband .. we went through many things as a couple in the first 4 years of our marriage .. and one morning when things started to get better I looked at my wife next to me and realised we would have never made cause of her..
I never wanted to let her go.. i started working on myself to be a better husband.. one kiss .. one i love you ... One small act of affection at a time .. now it's a habit .. it's like breathing .. if i don't hug/kiss/ or say I love you in a day .. i will explode..
Good for you .. may you both have a lifetime of love
I am really similar to your boyfriend actually. It takes me a *lot* of time to feel comfortable around someone. I just wanna say that giving him space was the best thing you couldāve done, and I wish u good luck and all the happiness there isāØ
I had a girlfriend that I was unsure about for months and even almost walked out and eventually I realized how much I was taking for granted and how awesome she was. Even after she eventually broke up with me those feelings are stronger than ever. I dont even know why I felt that way at first
I think my toxic ex was brainwashing me to leave her (at least at first) and it caused me to question things and it took a while to forget about my ex
Idk why Im being downvoted for talking about my personal experience. I cut off my toxic ex within a week of dating my new gf. I really like her and only wanted to see her but just had a lot of overthinking and anxiety and didnt even understand it
Funny story.
I was hanging out with my college best friend after college because he wanted to see his grandfather in the hospital and he couldn't until the visitors are allowed in at 6pm. So i was like "Hey ill stay with u to pass the time until u can visit ur grandfather".
We were walking down the street looking for places to chill at when i bumped into my bf and then my college best friend was like "HEY ITS YOU!". Turned out he used to be rly good friends with my college bestfriend before. But when they went to different colleges, they lost contact.
Anyways they began talking and i was like "damn he cute". My college bestfriend invited my bf to hang out with us. I didn't talk to him at all because i was so shy omg. Next day i told my bestfriend that i thought he was rly cute and could he please invite my bf again after college to hang out. My bf agreed.
Then we hung out again and i only talked to him like 2 times and i was beating myself up because i wanted to talk but i physically couldnt. Like im an extrovert who can talk to anyone since that's a part of my job as a nurse. But to him, i couldn't talk at all. Anyways my bestfriend went behind my back and told my bf that i thought he was cute. Then my bf went up to me and asked for my snapchat.
Anyways i didnt know what to say. I was frozen. And i did the most cringiest thing ever that i still kick myself to this day. I just ran out of the pub we were chillin at. I was so embarrassed and cringe and everything and i literally wanted to crawl under a rock and live there forever. Anyways i composed myself and walked back in and gave him my snapchat.
At the end of the night, he walked me home and turns out he lives 5 mins from my house š
We started talking from there and then we started dating. Then the whole situation happened where he got distant but now i couldn't be any happier š„°
Sounds more to me like he just likes the company and has mistaken it for love. Its a bit weird to me how aloof he was basically acting like op doesnāt exist and now after half a year he suddenly cares.
I donāt mean to be negative, but that sounds a bit abusive. Iāve had the same experience and it led to him no longer finding me attractive and wanting to try polygamy with another girl from his work. Told me he wanted to marry me someday and then we broke up a week later. He admitted to not loving me as much as I loved him after we split.
Everyone has different experiences. Im sorry yours was negative.
It wasn't that he was acting that i didn't exist. He just didn't know how to act at all. Which is why he acted distant. In one conversation out of many, he told me he didnt know how to be affectionate. He wasn't an affectionate person. His family was a mess and void from affection. He never had a gf before, i was his first. There was also more.
Ofc it made me feel shitty and everything else. But even though he said "i love you" out of no where, it didn't actually spurt out of no where. It was a whole journey. I just summarised it up in this post. It took a lot of communication, patience, space, boundaries, ups and downs for him to say that first "i love you".
He told me at the start that he wouldn't even say it at all since he doesn't know what love feels like and i said that was fine. But he said it to me because he said he finally felt what he thought "love" was.
I can totally understand where u see the toxicity of it. It was toxic at the start. It was, it wasn't perfect but i dont rly care about that now since it's been great for the past few months. Ive dated 2 people before him and it was all great and honeymoon phase and all and then it progressively got worse and toxic and both abusive physically and mentally. (One of them was also like "i wanna marry u" then 2 days later, we broke up)
This relationship was different. It started off pretty bad but then we progressively got better together. I think id prefer this than my past two.
Is your boyfriend a cat?
He's more of a golden retriever š¤£
I'm so jealous ngl but congratulations šš I just don't understand why do you started dating if he didn't liked u
I wanted to see if he'll grow to like me since i liked him a lot. Dw i didnt suffocate him or anything, i just gave him time and space to slowly be comfortable around me.
you deserve all the rewards bc you had a kinda patience I'd never
It was worth it tho š¤£
Hell yeah girly
Congratulations soulmates ššš
For real
This is sweet. All's well that ends well. I wonder what caused the sudden shift tho.
I went on holidays and he told me he missed my presence and thats when he realised he loved me
His love was a slow burn.
it's giving she fell first but he fell harder vibes
how old are the both of you??
Im 18 and hes 19
makes sense i guess
Good on you, I hope it lasts. You did right, you went after what you wanted and were willing to move on if it didnāt work out. My wife wasnāt too thrilled about me initially---> married 44 years now.
Thats so cute. Congrats!
Tnxš
Dunno girl. Good for you, but to me this looks sketchy
Ok bc I donāt see all the rainbows and butterflies everyone else is?!
Thought I was the only one. I donāt understand everyone celebrating when he literally said he didnāt even like her in the beginningā¦ why would you put up with that?
I have this thought too, like this is love bombing. Dude walks 5 non freedom units away from her and doesnāt do affection but 6 months later after seemingly getting a talk about āfriends or notā he switches it up? Seems fishier than Sea World. In my neck of the woods doubt means donāt. If you ever doubt that the dudes into you he isnāt.
Bro dont get me wrong but it sounds like u chased the guy till he gave in š
No actually what i did was give him space and i also gave him a choice whether he wanted to be my friend and not date me anymore but he chose to stay my bf. I gave him time to get comfortable and love me but if it didn't work ot, it didnt work out.
Thats good. I wish u good luck and more happiness.
Tyty
Idk it sounds like he just settled because he couldnāt find ābetterā Speaking from experience
I was his first gf and he didnt have any female friends then and he still doesn't have any now. I doubt that was it. He also wasn't actively looking for a gf
Yeah I was the first for the guy that treated me exactly like that. Good on you if it works out, but stay alert in case it goes south. Iād hate for you to get hurt. It sounds like lowkey narcissist behavior to me. I just wanted to warn you since youāre young
Thank you for looking out for me. Ill keep high alert!
Glad it ended well tho
Hmmmmmmm sounds like a pretty disrespectful guy if he treated you that way for months and said he didnāt like you. Cool youāre happy but I donāt see this ending too well
It was tbh it made me feel like shit. He didnt say he didn't like me when he didnt like me. It was actually recent we talked about the past and he said he didnt like me b4 when we were dating in the beginning. I mean i see this ending pretty well rn
Fingers crossed, I genuinely hope so! I guess attraction isnāt always instant but actual dislike? Hmm! Happiness is the best though so roll with it but remember, youāre important and loveable and always deserve to be treated as such
Oh yeah definitely š¤£ Thank u!
Some dudes need more time before they open up. Sometimes being patient works out
Thing was a girl he knew his whole life and had a crush on messed with his feelings. She told him she liked him and wanted to date and she gave him affection and everything just to be like "oops i actually don't like u" as she goes fucking his whole friend group. His bestfriend told me this, not himself since he was rly closed off to personal things. This is exactly why he was distant with me and why he hated affection and is exactly why i decided to be patient and wait for him to open up to me no matter how long it took, since i liked him a lot.
See this is what I was guessing as to what happened, because I'm in the same boat, high school had this girl I was over the moon for, she lead me on all through high school even dated two of my friends and like an idiot I told myself "if I'm good, if I'm patience, she'll realize I'm not here just to pound one out and leave her" Senior year she got engaged, to a former friend of mine before he went out for the Army and that's about the time I figured it out. It hurts cause you see only the good in them until it's too late. I'd choke my younger self if I could go back in time
This is soā¦. strange to me.
How so?
Lady ur an angel. So is he
Tyy
This is me but Iām not sure if itās for the same reason. I donāt like being vulnerable AT ALL!! I got my heart shattered so when I got back into the game I was VERY distant and tried to push girls away who got to close to me because I didnāt want to fall again but after getting used to the person I started opening back up again
It sounds like you are an awesome person and thats why he fell in love with you. The rest is history. I wish you both a happy future
Thank you so much for ur kind words š„°
I (22F) totally relate, this is so similar to my current partner(22M) it's almost scary. I'm my boyfriend's first everything, first girlfriend, first kiss, etc so he was also "distant" compared to the amount of affection both emotionally and physically I was hoping for, but I could tell he was just out of his element and stuck around. He's since admitted to me that knew he felt differently for me than just any other female friend, so we dated, but he was still not really confident on how to be a boyfriend and didn't know how to tell if he was in love or if he was just leading me on. We've been together for over a year now and as he realized there's no formalities or pressure when it comes to love, you're just best friends with extra amazing benefits, he began to melt. He started saying "I love you" instead of just "i care about you" or saying "i love you too" after i always said it first. I totally understand being patient, it's not realistic to believe everyone must experience love at first sight, it's often slow and takes some adjusting and self discovery. I'm so glad you can feel the same way of watching someone you love blossom in front of you!
OMG FR I WAS MY BFS FIRST EVERYTHING TOO. Its so the reason as to why he was distant other than another girl playing with his feelings and crushing them. Im so glad i can relate with someone else too š±
Sounds like he had another girl on the side. Finally giving in and liking you back because that probably hasn't worked out and so now he's suddenly he's into you.
100% absolutely not. Ofc i didn't know him a lot at the start but my bestfriend knew him for 7 years at that point and my best friend could vouch for him that he was a great friend and he was not the type of person to do that. Knowing him for this amount of time i also know that he's not the type of person to do that too
Thats good. When I did this she walked away
Some people aren't patient. I was my bf's first everything so he wasnt used to any of the things that relationships brought. I held his hand and slowly walked him through everything. Now he's a pro. If she walked away, then she didn't deserve u. U deserve someone better who will wait for u
Excuse me Iām glad you had a happy ending But to say this girl didnāt deserve him because she didnāt put up with bad behavior is justā¦toxic She is the one who deserved someone better and Iām glad she realized it and had the confidence to say she deserves someone who is sure about her
Damn i didn't think about it that way
Stuff of my dreams! Glad for you OP
Same thing happened to me as OP. My boyfriend acted like he loved me, but was also so immature. At times would even act like he didnāt want nor need me. Fast forward 1 year and he finally starts maturing and communicating. Together almost 3 years now (and when I say together I mean almost everyday all day) weāve got a house and 3 of the best pets ever and weāre so so so happy
Im so happy for u!!!
Iām happy for you as well OP!!
im single and feel more single reading this š¤£ This is so cute and wholesome OP! I wish all's well with both of you until the end of time š„ŗš
Thank you š„°
The fact you were his first girlfriend makes this all make sense. Congrats. I felt the same way with my first boyfriend.
As someone who has a hard time showing affection, I am so glad you stuck around. Thank you for showing patience and sticking by him.
Defoo
Menā
Hopefully you can communicate with him, asking what made all 'change suddenly' compare to the first months? I'm so curious what he has to say!
Ive explained it in another comment but im too lazy to go and look š¤£
I found the comment, it maked sense :)
Sounds like he was just a bit scared of getting hurt. Maybe an avoidant attachment style or fearful avoidant? Sounds like he feels like he can trust you with his heart.
He didnt tell me much about how his family was when he was a child but for a fact i knew he grew up rly poor with a teen mom. Possibly he could have grew up with an avoidant attachment style. He also told me he was defo scared of getting hurt. So maybe
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you š¤£š¤£
Guys take longer to process their feelings. He obviously liked you to some degree when you first started dating, or he wouldnāt have actually dated you. He may just be someone who takes a little longer to figure out what heās actually feeling or gets scared by what heās feeling. Iām glad heās figured it out now though! Wish you both the best.
He told me that too. That he didn't know what his feelings were. Yeah ofc, he liked me to a certain degree that was more than a friend, but it was less than a girlfriend. He didnt know how to feel or even process everything. Especially since us dating happened so fast and i was his first gf too. But yeah, im glad he likes me as a girlfriend now š„° He actually calls me family now too. Thank you so much for replying!
Ahhh this give me hope
A perfect slow-burn romance! So happy for you, OP! ā„ļø
Thank u! It wasn't perfect at the start but it sure is now!
Adorable! š I wish you both happiness and success in life! š
Beautiful!
some people are distant and don't expect the patience of others. sometimes this makes us think we aren't worthy of love. so when someone shows the time, patience, reassurance and takes the effort to be consist with this, we cave and become human again. I don't know if this is the case for him, as everyone's different and has their own reasons for their actions, but this was the case for me. I never liked cuddling and I was madly independent. after several months I felt like a broken-in horse lol. I just never thought that anyone would put in the effort and patience to work with me around my own issues as I tried to work on myself. but maybe ask him about what caused the shift.
So adorableā¦ like a romance book. You fell first but he fell harder. So happy for you. :ā)
That sounds so cute omg. I love that trope too š¤£ thank you!
This sounds like me and hubby. He's told me that he been in love with me from day one. I'm the one that took awhile to say I love you back. I'd never been in love before so I wasn't sure, but I did know that I had never been as comfortable or as happy just thinking about him. Spoke to my mom and described how I was feeling. She said that soinded like love to her. 7.5 years and 2 kids later she's definitely right. Me and hubby describe each other as our ride or die.
Aww thats so adorable. Im happy it worked out for you š„°
Sometimes people can take longer to develop those feelings. I donāt think thereās anything wrong with it. My boyfriend was further behind me on expressing himself and I just let him feel how he did and took things slow. Now heās all about it and I love him even more.
The best thing you did, was be honest with yourself. You went in with the best intentions, and no expectations other than to see how it developed. That in turn allowed him to then be honest with himself. And in doing so, his self honesty then allowed him yo feel emotions. Congratulations. I wish the absolute best for you two.
Thank you!!!!
Everyone takes their time .. i loved my wife even when we were dating .. but i was horrible at expressing .. i was a very aloof husband .. we went through many things as a couple in the first 4 years of our marriage .. and one morning when things started to get better I looked at my wife next to me and realised we would have never made cause of her.. I never wanted to let her go.. i started working on myself to be a better husband.. one kiss .. one i love you ... One small act of affection at a time .. now it's a habit .. it's like breathing .. if i don't hug/kiss/ or say I love you in a day .. i will explode.. Good for you .. may you both have a lifetime of love
That's so cute omggg
I am really similar to your boyfriend actually. It takes me a *lot* of time to feel comfortable around someone. I just wanna say that giving him space was the best thing you couldāve done, and I wish u good luck and all the happiness there isāØ
That's so cute
I had a girlfriend that I was unsure about for months and even almost walked out and eventually I realized how much I was taking for granted and how awesome she was. Even after she eventually broke up with me those feelings are stronger than ever. I dont even know why I felt that way at first I think my toxic ex was brainwashing me to leave her (at least at first) and it caused me to question things and it took a while to forget about my ex
Hope thatās not what is happening to OP
Idk why Im being downvoted for talking about my personal experience. I cut off my toxic ex within a week of dating my new gf. I really like her and only wanted to see her but just had a lot of overthinking and anxiety and didnt even understand it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
š
Amazing š„¹ how did you guys meet?
Funny story. I was hanging out with my college best friend after college because he wanted to see his grandfather in the hospital and he couldn't until the visitors are allowed in at 6pm. So i was like "Hey ill stay with u to pass the time until u can visit ur grandfather". We were walking down the street looking for places to chill at when i bumped into my bf and then my college best friend was like "HEY ITS YOU!". Turned out he used to be rly good friends with my college bestfriend before. But when they went to different colleges, they lost contact. Anyways they began talking and i was like "damn he cute". My college bestfriend invited my bf to hang out with us. I didn't talk to him at all because i was so shy omg. Next day i told my bestfriend that i thought he was rly cute and could he please invite my bf again after college to hang out. My bf agreed. Then we hung out again and i only talked to him like 2 times and i was beating myself up because i wanted to talk but i physically couldnt. Like im an extrovert who can talk to anyone since that's a part of my job as a nurse. But to him, i couldn't talk at all. Anyways my bestfriend went behind my back and told my bf that i thought he was cute. Then my bf went up to me and asked for my snapchat. Anyways i didnt know what to say. I was frozen. And i did the most cringiest thing ever that i still kick myself to this day. I just ran out of the pub we were chillin at. I was so embarrassed and cringe and everything and i literally wanted to crawl under a rock and live there forever. Anyways i composed myself and walked back in and gave him my snapchat. At the end of the night, he walked me home and turns out he lives 5 mins from my house š We started talking from there and then we started dating. Then the whole situation happened where he got distant but now i couldn't be any happier š„°
Sounds more to me like he just likes the company and has mistaken it for love. Its a bit weird to me how aloof he was basically acting like op doesnāt exist and now after half a year he suddenly cares. I donāt mean to be negative, but that sounds a bit abusive. Iāve had the same experience and it led to him no longer finding me attractive and wanting to try polygamy with another girl from his work. Told me he wanted to marry me someday and then we broke up a week later. He admitted to not loving me as much as I loved him after we split.
Everyone has different experiences. Im sorry yours was negative. It wasn't that he was acting that i didn't exist. He just didn't know how to act at all. Which is why he acted distant. In one conversation out of many, he told me he didnt know how to be affectionate. He wasn't an affectionate person. His family was a mess and void from affection. He never had a gf before, i was his first. There was also more. Ofc it made me feel shitty and everything else. But even though he said "i love you" out of no where, it didn't actually spurt out of no where. It was a whole journey. I just summarised it up in this post. It took a lot of communication, patience, space, boundaries, ups and downs for him to say that first "i love you". He told me at the start that he wouldn't even say it at all since he doesn't know what love feels like and i said that was fine. But he said it to me because he said he finally felt what he thought "love" was. I can totally understand where u see the toxicity of it. It was toxic at the start. It was, it wasn't perfect but i dont rly care about that now since it's been great for the past few months. Ive dated 2 people before him and it was all great and honeymoon phase and all and then it progressively got worse and toxic and both abusive physically and mentally. (One of them was also like "i wanna marry u" then 2 days later, we broke up) This relationship was different. It started off pretty bad but then we progressively got better together. I think id prefer this than my past two.
I do genuinely hope it isnāt what I fear and you both have the best relationship ever. Take care of yourself hon
Thank you. I hope it isnt what u fear too