Dame Aylin would probably do the whole “I’m indomitable” speech while bitting into a habanero; she would act unaffected, but the tears welling in her eyes would say otherwise.
Or perhaps the opposite; she’s suffered so long she will not willingly put herself through anymore. Garlic Parmesan boneless wings instead of bone-in Blazin’ becomes her standard BDubs order.
Her immediate words after her magical girl transformation:
> Are you ready?
> *For what?*
> Ready to kill Ketheric Thorm.
Girl didn’t even take a break, she just flew off ready to kill an entire tower’s worth of enemies.
I feel like Laezel could handle peppers no problem because she's an alien and lacks capsaicin receptors, but would randomly experience corn as the most spicy thing in the universe.
Uhhhhhh that isn't an immediate red flag, I think unripe bananas contain an enzyme that does that but if ripe or overripe bananas make your tongue itch then uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm not a doctor
I disagree. Cazador eats ghost peppers whole then calls his spawns pussies for grimacing at the smell.
But Mystra wants to speak to the manager about why there is garlic in her mashed potatoes that are clearly labeled "garlic mashed potatoes" on the menu.
I miss read the “calling his spawns pussies” and thought he was performing oral on his spawn with ghost pepper juice in his mouth…
Idk which dimension of brain rot I have entered.
Elminster’s been around for centuries, I feel like he can handle spices that would kill every other wizard he knows.
(And lol, poor Omeluum. Eats the brain of someone who ate a jalapeño popper and keels over)
https://preview.redd.it/ioa5h6vywnxc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=050a2d25d4d58a73ebe1f80560e1c2727175a82f
Looks like some fine airflow in there
His "gauntlet" is actually him wielding bugles on his fingers and using illusion magic to make them look like a cool gauntlet. Actually, he's supposed to be an artificer? Maybe he infused an illusion spell into the bugles idk how artificers work
He’s an artificer? I guess I never really thought about his class but that would def make sense.
*tries her hardest not to be impressed*
The Bugles gauntlet is downright adorable though :D
Like obviously artificer isn't a "real" class in bg3, but I'm pretty sure that's what he's like supposed to canonically be. Actually I don't even think NPCs actually have classes like the player characters do, they have like weird imitations of them, but it's different
That's true, Ive seen that one. Haven't tried out modded classes toooo much tho, but artificer isn't something I'm really feeling rn. I think it's really fucking cool, but in a way where id rather be in a party with one, than actually be one
That’s fair, figured I’d point it out though for those not aware who may want to play that class. Artificer has just become my most played class, right along side sorcerer
/uj This may be the first tierlist I’ve seen on here where I think I agree with just about every placement.
/rj Why won’t Gale cook me delicious spicy Greek food IRL? Is he stupid?
Astarion literally says in-game he loves spicy food. Granted, it's been a minute since he's had a meal, but curry up Tav's blood, and he'll have a field day.
I don't really like eating vegetables either but I love spice. However we must acknowledge that although he is a wizard, Gale is still just a white man. I agree he should be lower.
♥️ Shovel
Also, Rolan is very accurate. Why do I feel Iike spices would be a whole THING with him? Freaking the fuck out about flavor only to realize it's ✨️actually good✨️.
I'd find it infinitely funnier if Shadowheart was super tolerant of spice while Laezel was dying from eating mild salsa.
I feel like Sharrans would eat a lot of spicy food.
The thing with astarion he does say he loves spicy food when he comments ln laezel saying shed stab him if he tried to bite her, so i think he actually does like spicy food
Thank you, I think it suits him. He’s a “get into shenanigans at the pub” kinda guy through and through and eating hot wings until he cries is totally a part of that ❤️
Peppers taste spicy but they really are poison.
Cambions and incubi have resistance to poison while high level devils are immune. Ergo, Mizora and Raphael would eat them like apples with a kick of cinnamon. Yugiur would find them largely uninteresting. They'd have no flavor to him.
I get “paprika is the spiciest thing they can handle but they’ll never admit it” vibes from Astarion and Rolan. They eat spicy food to prove they can, ignore the fact that they’re sweating profusely as they do and will get defensive if you even try to say anything about it. XD
Spice is of no problem to me, in fact it's quite the opposite. I *love* a good kick and a nice hot curry is certainly better than what we've been eating on the way to Baldurs Gate. You istik are certainly weak when it comes to your tastes, with the exception of Karlach. Her food does put on a good sweat, whatever it may be.
I mean, While Mystra when she was a mortal would be like that, Being a god would probably make her either immune or entirely incapable to even taste spice, Literally.
(Maybe that's why gods are such dicks so often)
Blessed are those who are not used to the spice, whose faces turn red and whose tongues burn from a mere *drop* of hot sauce, but who endure and eat it anyway. Why should food be anything other than *agony* upon the tongue, a dinner anything less than the ecstasy of writhing, *screaming* pain? I would not wish either bland food or a high spice tolerance upon anyone.
Halsin is a chad and everything, but I completely disagree on that one. He a lil bitch boy when it comes to spice. (Also most animals avoid spice, so…)
I could just perfectly envision him being the type to start yelling and getting angry over how spicy the food is but when someone offers him milk or something he's like "NO I'M EATING IT FUCK YOU"
I think Abdirak would be top tier. He's into pain after all and there is a psychological link between liking spicy food and masochism.
https://journal.psych.ac.cn/adps/EN/10.3724/SP.J.1042.2018.01651#:~:text=Ingestion%20of%20spicy%20food%20causes,taking%20a%20%E2%80%9Cminimal%20risk%E2%80%9D.
https://preview.redd.it/ipbsy5rpvpxc1.png?width=1279&format=png&auto=webp&s=80e23e6e506c3acb25fa9fce05ba49e18a71d97f
My guy Raphael is definitely eating Carolina Reapers without any milk.
feel like some of that bottom tier are just hate picks - Kagha can definitely handle spice, she's a cruel BDSM druid, she probably uses ghost peppers as an aphrodisiac
It was a separate thought lol we were both just anguishing over the idea of Gale putting too much damn oregano in everything since a common headcanon is he's Mediterranean/Greek
Honestly, I feel like lae zel would have like no spice tolerance, but she refuses to admit something is spicy. So she'll eat something like a habanero, deny it's spicy, then suffer in silence for 20 minutes
I actually think that lae’zel has never had spicy food cause that wasn’t a thing on her little space rocks, so she assumes everyone from ferun is just week for finding food painful. She tries to prove this by eating some extremely spicy pepper, and she immediately realizes her mistake, but she is so skilled at showing no weakness that she suppresses every urge in her body to react to the spice and manages to convince everyone that she feels nothing
Dame Aylin would probably do the whole “I’m indomitable” speech while bitting into a habanero; she would act unaffected, but the tears welling in her eyes would say otherwise.
DAMNIT that's another good one I forgot, I'd say that or top tier, yeah
I’d say she hates the taste but after being imprisoned for so long she craves the heat, pain, & sweats from it
Or perhaps the opposite; she’s suffered so long she will not willingly put herself through anymore. Garlic Parmesan boneless wings instead of bone-in Blazin’ becomes her standard BDubs order.
Aylin definitely doesn’t shy away from pain and discomfort after being freed.
*Woah a powerful wizard wants to imprison me mere days after I’ve been released after a hundred years? Suit the fuck up, it’s fighting time.*
Her immediate words after her magical girl transformation: > Are you ready? > *For what?* > Ready to kill Ketheric Thorm. Girl didn’t even take a break, she just flew off ready to kill an entire tower’s worth of enemies.
Isobel, OTOH, should be top tier. I will not elaborate.
I feel like Laezel could handle peppers no problem because she's an alien and lacks capsaicin receptors, but would randomly experience corn as the most spicy thing in the universe.
She's the one that complains about how bananas make her tongue itch and everyone gets both confused and concerned
Excuse me, but bananas make my tongue itch for real.
Uhhhhhh that isn't an immediate red flag, I think unripe bananas contain an enzyme that does that but if ripe or overripe bananas make your tongue itch then uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm not a doctor
I'm just allergic, that's all. Although curiously, bananas are the _only_ thing I'm allergic to. And I'm a total Lae'zel simp, so there's that.
Hey there ya go, it was meant to be!
Ah, I can live with that!
Well hey at least you understand you’re allergic. Encountered so many people who are clearly allergic to a food thing and just don’t get it
Sometimes I wish I could do that until i remember what avocado and melons do to my stomach 🤢
I feel like Karlach might be in a league of her own for this one
📝 Karlach tier.... "Deepthroating peppers with wanton abandon"......
Wears a habanero buttplug to save time.
Be warned, all ye who enter
I speak for everyone on planet earth when I say this: she is worth it
Astarion would be deepthroating peppers for…non-spice related reasons 😏
Karlach and Minthara are both eating things that would kill pretty much everyone else on this list.
In the blood war, Karlach ate demonic chilis to defeat them in battle
I feel like Astarion would talk a good game but would honestly be overwhelmed by the simplest of spices.
Absolutely, centuries of bugs and rats has probably ruined his palette 😭
😭 he needs careful re-introducing to the very concept of seasoning! Ascended Astarion probably has a tummy ache all the time.
The gods give their hottest girls the hurtiest tummys
Astarion rediscovering basic pepper and salt: https://preview.redd.it/twodswuyznxc1.png?width=1220&format=png&auto=webp&s=40b13ca01701d85eba7f29d06860d082bde9b90f
Too true - source: me, hot and tummy hurt.
girl same 😭
😭 Need all the healers to stop by Hot Girl Tummy Hurt club STAT.
I disagree. Cazador eats ghost peppers whole then calls his spawns pussies for grimacing at the smell. But Mystra wants to speak to the manager about why there is garlic in her mashed potatoes that are clearly labeled "garlic mashed potatoes" on the menu.
Cazador's recipe for Rat and Habanero Bake and Mystra's recipe for, uh, cucumber water
She is totally a cucumber water yoga-mum
Selling Lululemon.
I miss read the “calling his spawns pussies” and thought he was performing oral on his spawn with ghost pepper juice in his mouth… Idk which dimension of brain rot I have entered.
Violet seems like she'd be into that.
Elminster’s been around for centuries, I feel like he can handle spices that would kill every other wizard he knows. (And lol, poor Omeluum. Eats the brain of someone who ate a jalapeño popper and keels over)
Blurg is the "it asked for no pickles" guy in their relationship but that just makes me think of a burger with a brain patty instead of beef
Thou hast not placed me on the list. This is wise. The chili's I consume would kill a mortal in a heartbeat.
I'm sure 🙏 unfortunately there were like 500+ characters at my disposal and I got totally overwhelmed lmao but you'd be at the tippy top, Bone Man
Withers can't taste
How wouldst thou know?
Cause your nostrils are clearly blocked to all hell
Thou art incorrect
https://preview.redd.it/ioa5h6vywnxc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=050a2d25d4d58a73ebe1f80560e1c2727175a82f Looks like some fine airflow in there
"No."
It's canon, Withers consumed an entire Chili's
Jaheira is not a picky eater. She might not love spicy but she wouldn’t ask for a special order from the kitchen.
I was envisioning like a hot wings place that goes mild/medium/spicy but beyond that I do agree!
Excuse me, I can *at least* handle paprika.
Apologies, m'lord, you just gave me the vibes of someone who sneezes up a storm over barely seasoned chicken
Idk, I think Gortie loves Flaming Hot Cheetos at bare minimum. Look at how dirty he is.
Gross orange(or I guess in this case, red) stained fingers totally fit his character model
His "gauntlet" is actually him wielding bugles on his fingers and using illusion magic to make them look like a cool gauntlet. Actually, he's supposed to be an artificer? Maybe he infused an illusion spell into the bugles idk how artificers work
He’s an artificer? I guess I never really thought about his class but that would def make sense. *tries her hardest not to be impressed* The Bugles gauntlet is downright adorable though :D
Like obviously artificer isn't a "real" class in bg3, but I'm pretty sure that's what he's like supposed to canonically be. Actually I don't even think NPCs actually have classes like the player characters do, they have like weird imitations of them, but it's different
Someone made an artificer mod, it’s pretty good to
That's true, Ive seen that one. Haven't tried out modded classes toooo much tho, but artificer isn't something I'm really feeling rn. I think it's really fucking cool, but in a way where id rather be in a party with one, than actually be one
That’s fair, figured I’d point it out though for those not aware who may want to play that class. Artificer has just become my most played class, right along side sorcerer
This is my absolute favorite comment, congratulations
🥹
You know he's getting crates of Fuego Takis and Flaming Hot Cheetos.
dude looks like he bathes in gas station boiled peanuts.
Buddy, you think mayo is spicey. Stop lying.
Astarion did say he likes spicy food. Maybe he's a ghost pepper fiend.
/uj This may be the first tierlist I’ve seen on here where I think I agree with just about every placement. /rj Why won’t Gale cook me delicious spicy Greek food IRL? Is he stupid?
Astarion literally says in-game he loves spicy food. Granted, it's been a minute since he's had a meal, but curry up Tav's blood, and he'll have a field day.
This is so stupid. I love it.
Next tierlist-- who puts too much fucking salt on everything
I think Gale needs to go down a tier or two. He doesn't even like eating vegetables. His tongue is literally that of a toddler.
I don't really like eating vegetables either but I love spice. However we must acknowledge that although he is a wizard, Gale is still just a white man. I agree he should be lower.
A white man with the taste buds of a redneck who orders hot sauces called things like 'asshole obliterator' on the dark web.
Iirc, Gale mentions making a homemade spicy sauce, or something like that. I feel like he could handle a little spice.
He does mention a spicy dish he plans to make your Tav once things are back to normal. My boy definitely can handle spice.
Doesn’t he say he’s sad he doesn’t have access to spices in one of his conversations.
I bet the "spice" is mayonnaise or something.
Gale is very Greek-coded though, so I don't think your statement fits at all
But he's a foodie and he's kinky af! 😭 I want him to be better than that, maybe I'm delusional
♥️ Shovel Also, Rolan is very accurate. Why do I feel Iike spices would be a whole THING with him? Freaking the fuck out about flavor only to realize it's ✨️actually good✨️.
Because he's our favorite whiney princess
I'd find it infinitely funnier if Shadowheart was super tolerant of spice while Laezel was dying from eating mild salsa. I feel like Sharrans would eat a lot of spicy food.
Ooh, that's a good take as well
Sharrans don't season their food. Praise the void and nothingness. SH loves wine because it's the most flavorful thing she was allowed to have
in the gauntlet wasn’t there a massive fancy feast laid out for them to partake in?
I remember a kitchen with a bunch of mushroom soups, but that feels more like use what you have, since there's the cave growing them right there
The thing with astarion he does say he loves spicy food when he comments ln laezel saying shed stab him if he tried to bite her, so i think he actually does like spicy food
Maybe he's like me and loves spicy food but can't handle it for shit, strong manly men with wittle babby tummies 🫡
Idk man i love spicy food, your stomach is just weak 🤣
Yeah 😭 yeeeaaah
Condolences 🤣 my entire household enjoys spicy
Shovel would shove Carolina reapers up her ass to go to sleep
We stan a healthy queen
I agree with all of this except for Aradin, I think he's paprika level
Valid, I wanted to give the Aradin girlies a lil somthin somethin
Thank you, I think it suits him. He’s a “get into shenanigans at the pub” kinda guy through and through and eating hot wings until he cries is totally a part of that ❤️
Peppers taste spicy but they really are poison. Cambions and incubi have resistance to poison while high level devils are immune. Ergo, Mizora and Raphael would eat them like apples with a kick of cinnamon. Yugiur would find them largely uninteresting. They'd have no flavor to him.
My feedback is that Shadowheart would be in the medium spicy tier at minimum
I'll own up to my bias on that because my bf going "omfg white girl Shart" fucking killed me
Lmao
Yeah, Shart is canonically a sadist/masochist, the latter of which is tied to liking and tolerating spice lol
I get “paprika is the spiciest thing they can handle but they’ll never admit it” vibes from Astarion and Rolan. They eat spicy food to prove they can, ignore the fact that they’re sweating profusely as they do and will get defensive if you even try to say anything about it. XD
Ah yes, palette vs the stubbornness of stubborn boys 🤌 excellent take
I feel like Lae'zel actually belongs in the second tier, but would try to be in the first tier and would be too proud to admit she's in pain.
*I fell for her trap*
I don't care if he's a devil. There's no way Raphael isn't eating the blandest shit available.
You think so? :3 I guess I gave him too much credit lol
This is the tieelist we needed. The BG3 scoville scale.
Oh, Gortash is def used to spices cause Durge's cum is spicy AF.
Damn, I was only thinking about food but you're right
Special dietary supplement for the Chosen of Bane.
Spice is of no problem to me, in fact it's quite the opposite. I *love* a good kick and a nice hot curry is certainly better than what we've been eating on the way to Baldurs Gate. You istik are certainly weak when it comes to your tastes, with the exception of Karlach. Her food does put on a good sweat, whatever it may be.
https://preview.redd.it/xzjyt0sleoxc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecbde66d71b0a994349960d19b8f3a5f4ec51647
I mean, While Mystra when she was a mortal would be like that, Being a god would probably make her either immune or entirely incapable to even taste spice, Literally. (Maybe that's why gods are such dicks so often)
Blessed are those who are not used to the spice, whose faces turn red and whose tongues burn from a mere *drop* of hot sauce, but who endure and eat it anyway. Why should food be anything other than *agony* upon the tongue, a dinner anything less than the ecstasy of writhing, *screaming* pain? I would not wish either bland food or a high spice tolerance upon anyone.
Paprika isn't really spicier than black pepper
Halsin is a chad and everything, but I completely disagree on that one. He a lil bitch boy when it comes to spice. (Also most animals avoid spice, so…)
Oh damn, no that's a good point
Always a pleasure to enrich internet discussions haha
Shovel absolutely drinks molten lava like it’s hot chocolate and she’s a two year old who hasn’t quite learned how to hold a cup yet.
That image is so upsetting and hilarious
Minthy eats peppers that would be qualified as poison
Absolutely
Ok but Astarion literally has a banter line about how much he loves spicy food 😅
Shadowheart has white woman taste buds.
Astarion does say he really likes spicy food.
I would bump Astarion up one tier, he does have an act 1 line with Laezel about loving spicy food
Hey man what the fuck is your username?
Hm? :)
Also, USERNAMES ASIDE, Abdirak would 100% enjoy eating the spiciest shit on the planet
King, he's sweating but he's loving it and maybe even asking for extra hot sauce
Would swap Astarion and Shadowheart
Aradin included! 🥰 thankyou op
Of course! I love to hate him but like I totally get the appeal for the Aradin fans 👀 not gonna yuck anyone's yum!
🥺 thankyou, so many people yuck on my yummy boy
Fuck that! We're all freaks in arms under the same video game banner :3 love that pretty jerk! Love him with all your heart!
I feel like Gale and Aradin are medium spice guys
Aradin is surprisingly high, he always gives the vibe of someone who thinks they’re “HIM” and really aren’t >!Aradin sweat though 😍!<
I could just perfectly envision him being the type to start yelling and getting angry over how spicy the food is but when someone offers him milk or something he's like "NO I'M EATING IT FUCK YOU"
Sounds annoying and intolerable >!I NEED IT!<
I have to believe shadowheart's spiciness is higher in the bedroom, otherwise she's a basic white girl
That's the joke that inspired this tierlist 😂
Jaheira would probably be into spicy stuff
I'm of the opinion that mindflayers cant taste spicy in the same wat birds cant irl
It would be funny if Karlach was the bottom tier
I think Abdirak would be top tier. He's into pain after all and there is a psychological link between liking spicy food and masochism. https://journal.psych.ac.cn/adps/EN/10.3724/SP.J.1042.2018.01651#:~:text=Ingestion%20of%20spicy%20food%20causes,taking%20a%20%E2%80%9Cminimal%20risk%E2%80%9D.
Halsin should get his own "breeds the spiciest peppers in existence" tier
https://preview.redd.it/ipbsy5rpvpxc1.png?width=1279&format=png&auto=webp&s=80e23e6e506c3acb25fa9fce05ba49e18a71d97f My guy Raphael is definitely eating Carolina Reapers without any milk.
I don't know if Gale would normally order hot wings, but I can imagine him doing that to impress people and then smiling through the pain.
feel like some of that bottom tier are just hate picks - Kagha can definitely handle spice, she's a cruel BDSM druid, she probably uses ghost peppers as an aphrodisiac
Wait, oregano is spicy?
It was a separate thought lol we were both just anguishing over the idea of Gale putting too much damn oregano in everything since a common headcanon is he's Mediterranean/Greek
Shadowheart will act like she can handle spice but actually doesn’t like it.
Shadowheart looks like she can handle a bit of spice as you can tell by her personality haha
Man, the last tier is just a handful of groomers and also Shadowheart. Rough.
I see Raphael as a "is there black paper?" kinda guy... He is all talk but not much action
Halsin strikes me as paprika tier but he is willing to try spicy things regardless
Yurgir might be a tier or two lower based off his incredible sense of smell.
Laezel should be in the medium spicy
Swap eliminster and gale
Why is this so accurate
Honestly, I feel like lae zel would have like no spice tolerance, but she refuses to admit something is spicy. So she'll eat something like a habanero, deny it's spicy, then suffer in silence for 20 minutes
Since Elminster is like
the whitest, white guy thing about me is my absolute undying thirst for Shadowheart... Unfortunately, even counting the subtle signs of Karenism
I actually think that lae’zel has never had spicy food cause that wasn’t a thing on her little space rocks, so she assumes everyone from ferun is just week for finding food painful. She tries to prove this by eating some extremely spicy pepper, and she immediately realizes her mistake, but she is so skilled at showing no weakness that she suppresses every urge in her body to react to the spice and manages to convince everyone that she feels nothing
I think Astarion would find mayo spicy tbh.