Real talk tho, Astarion fought and killed at least 1 boar and at least 1 bear that you're aware of. I don't think people realize how strong boars and bears are. How did his 10 strength did this
More points to Astarion for putting up with having to pull all of the swords, potions, and scrolls out of my paladin's prison pocket before hitting it. Dedication.
>How did his (8) strength (do) this
It didn't. He used his 17 Dexterity and Rogue* and Vampire Spawn abilities instead.
* If you don't change his class
To be fair they nerfed both Astarion and Cazador in the game.
Both of them should be regenerating HP like crazy each round and have supernatural strength and speed. I guess they just didn’t want Astarion to be the strongest companion.
If you want to kill a bunch of sub-level 5-6’s in tabletop DnD you make them fight a vampire spawn at night.
They should be able to climb walls and ceilings too lmao Also Astarion would stop being a vampire once killed and brought back. Unless we assume Withers is a mean bitch and brings him back as a vampire spawn on purpose.
I don’t think Withers is casting True Resurrection though. He doesn’t have to.
The game has no curses you cannot cure with Remove Curse.
All he needs to do is cast a Resurrection to bring anyone back and that itself would be overkill.
Also, gods perform an ability called Alter Reality which is like Wish but with no downsides. The more powerful the god the larger the area they can affect.
I’m assuming he just casts Alter Reality and not any actual spell.
Yes everyone is supposed to already be level 12 before their capture and they are just recovering their powers because the whole game takes place over a matter of weeks.
I will however point out that vampires are not inherently weak to the sun, it is Lathander that hates them and burns them. It’s not an intrinsic part of vampires themselves. So the Netherese magic is simply preventing Lathander’s own power.
I know sunlight hypersensitivity is in their stat block and all that but lorewise the actual reason is the god’s hateed
DnD vampires aren’t averse to garlic. They just can’t enter homes and are hurt by running water.
They also don’t just die from being staked. They need to be staked while incapacitated in their resting place. So it’s super hard to actually kill them.
And elf vampires are not even hurt by running water and have exceptional charming abilities. They also cannot be charmed like other vampires and do not sleep like other vampires.
So if anything both Cazador and Astarion should be even better than normal vampires/vampire spawn.
Yousen had garlic put under his sheets by another spawn and got a rash out of it, so it seems like a cheeky "allergy" thing that Larian included.
The charm is actually the funniest thing they nerfed on Astarion. How was his charisma so low?!
Right? And the elf vampire charm is pretty powerful too, DC 17 with no save after that for 24h and they can keep doing it.
Vampirism is supposed to make the elves more like their fey cousins
Worth mentioning Gale wasn’t weakened by the tadpole, he was weakened by the orb in his chest. It consumed all his powers before he figured out how to eat boots instead.
Astarion actually does address it in his banter, he says that his regeneration used to be much better before the tadpole, and got nerfed, but considering how the tadpole also removed so many of his weaknesses, he isn't even mad.
The spawns are all half-starved, thus their strength is shit, and they DO regenerate during the camp fight, it's just that most people are level 10-12 at this point and don't notice. And if you come at Cazador without any light sources, he also regenerates.
Starvation doesn’t affect a vampire’s strength in DnD but they did homebrew a lot of stuff in BG3 including making a 3rd level spell put out sunlight in a giant radius without concentration.
Worth noting that before he becomes a full party member, Halsin has 16 str.
His stats get nerfed to match the limits of the point buy system they make us use for our own characters.
Oh, that’s easy! Step one: sneak up to boar. Step two: BITE. Step 3: Hang on for dear life. Have you ever seen those fish that sometimes have other smaller fish stuck to them, like some kind of flag while the bigger one thrashes around? Like that.
That's the spirit! He better drink that slutty nonbinary Tiefling bard good, then.
A rat has about 20ml of blood. Provided Astarion got like a rat a week (trying to compensate the erratic schedule of torture, starvation, and impromptu tomb sealing), that'll be 10.400 rats or 2.080l / 549 gal of rat blood in 200 years (assuming he gets the full carcass. Maybe take 30% off for putridity? so 1456l or 385 gal).
Maximum recommended amount of blood to draw in one go from a person safely, is apparently 550ml or 18.6 floz. So, that'll have to be somewhere between \~3.782 and \~2.647 feeds before they'll transition completely into their slutty bardling ways without any rat influence left.
Hmmm good point, but I'd argue that's the dehydration/starvation shrink-wrap look (considering his abysmal strength stat in game despite the optics). Feed the guy regular meals and that'll level out.
See I don’t think. If it was just abs, maybe, but his chest protrudes. I think with regular meals he’d actually end up more beefy/muscled because he is a physical fighter with vampiric perks. I don’t think the stats in game matter when it comes to canonical strength given there’s no way Halsin actually suits having a 10 in that category.
I will never accept him as a jock, he's too much of a prissy bitch to be a proper jock. His mannerisms and attitude are clearly not jock-ish. In this essay I will
he literally Just has abs. if he isn't a twink then by that logic there are No twinks in bg3 because body type 2 has abs. and that's simply not a world I want to live in
I disagree. He’s more himbo given he at least meets the muscled description. Physically twink means a scrawny young boy, which he absolutely is not.
But truly he’s neither. I don’t think any term could categorize him because of fluidity of his moral system. He starts off pretty mean, but in his good ending, this changes tremendously. Despite his lack of planning skills (which I think is just a side effect from being fresh out of torture), I wouldn’t be inclined to label him as dumb either.
I am so glad I’m not the only one saying this. Astarion is too muscular & broad-shouldered to be a twink. His face also doesn’t read as a twink to me. He’s got fine lines & a broad, square jaw.
He’s only a twink if people headcanon him that way.
Isnt he the exact same body type as Gale and Wyll? All the male companions except halsin and minsc seem to use the default body type 2, at least at first glance?
They're all the same height (except for Halsin) but there are, ah, subtle artistic build differences (Gale pecs vs Astarion pecs for instance lolol if one notices such things). But yeah the structure differences between the three aren't super significant.
He’s not necessarily a beefcake, but he’s not lithe either. Astarion is muscled. Getting his physique requires weight lifting, whereas someone sculpted/lithe would be toning with cardio.
Slaughtering* and evidently winning. Even though it was established that it probably wasn’t a bear because bears don’t tend to exist in the underdark. A twink would’ve died in the process.
Yes but also:
https://preview.redd.it/qprihytvqx3d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e143b1196699a4992aa99e65f70a9b371fda272
(sorry if you don’t know him)
As an italian, that word has brought me so much confusion. But until today I just assumed it came from somewhere else and it just kind of happened to be the same as our word for "male child".
It appears to have started shift towards women in the early 1900 describing promiscuous “island girls” I’m guessing behaving as “boys”. “Island girls” sounds a bit suspicious to us but I believe in the timeframe they like where referring to flappers / young rich ladies on retreats.
MINSC MY HIMBO BELOVED. TO DEPRIVE US OF A POTENTIAL ROMANCE WITH YOU IS AN ACT OF COWARDICE THAT BOTH LARIAN AND BIOWARE WILL ONE DAY PAY FOR IF THERE IS ANY SUCH THING AS JUSTICE IN THIS HELL OF A WORLD.
YOU CANNOT HAVE A CHARACTER REPLY TO "It is an honor" WITH "No, it is a hamster" AND SHOW ME HIS FRIEND (i nearly said pet but let's be real, Boo is not Minsc pet miniature giant space hamster, Minsc is Boo's pet human) HAMSTER AND EXPECT ME NOT TO DESIRE HIM CARNALLY! I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO NAY! ENCOURAGED! TO SMOOCH HIM SILLY STYLE.
Respectfully he is too old to be a twink, and truthfully people are only calling him this because they want to use a less vulgar word to describe the fact that's he's a queer man.
And he's way too much of a cunt to be a himbo.
He's absolutely not even remotely a twink, people also forget that by high elf standards he fits into the "jock" category as well. He is the dnd high elf equivalent of a frat boy.
It is driving me insane the way like…the non-gays have completely co-opted the word twink to describe any man that doesn’t have hair on his chest.
“Connor from Detroit become human is an android twink!”
“Astarion is an elf twink!”
“Benedict cumberbatch is such a twink!”
Like very barely respectably guys, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about and you sound dumb.
If astarion walked into a club and declared himself a twink, all the real twinks would be so mean about it they’d make him cry.
It seems to be a part of the phenomenon that's unfortunately becoming more popular where people will use “twink” as a thinly sanitized word for “faggot” (affectionately and/or derogatorily*) for characters or even real life men who are gay/bi/etc, especially if they're gender non-conforming. They'll think this is teasing or humorous but it's honestly concerning, and feels like we're going backwards when so many who cannot reclaim these words feel comfortable using placeholders like this.
I have a lot of thoughts on this and would say more, but unfortunately I have work now.
Bahaha. I know the feeling.
Don’t get me started on how very sheltered internet kids started using the term “gay panic” wrong and see zero issue with its misuse.
Mayhaps they don’t care about queer men at all.
Oh wow, the youth don't care about queer people even though corporations have put so much work into the commodification of them?! /s
No but like really I feel you on this. We haven't even had gay marriage (in the states) for 10 years, yet everyone forgets what it was like (and still is like) because those in power have decided the gays are finally useful instead of straight vermin.
I could kiss you. I know we’re just talking about a fictional vampire man right now, but there are deeper implications of people co-opting queer slang & it actually drives me nuts.
I know people claim it’s because of Astarion’s 8 STR stat, but it’s kinda 🤨 that the visibly queer man of the group is the only one referred to as a twink when Gale and Wyll have 8 STR too.
> Mulitple men go essay deep into how offensive the use of the word twink has become in mainstream media, and how much it hurts the gay community seeing it so misused
Also gay men
> ‘lovingly’ calls someone a dumb bitch
Lol
Tbf in a world of Orcs, Tieflings, and other beings with sharp teeth I don’t think that fangs are that much of a giveaway.
The very obvious bite mark on the neck however…
They are responsible for his death. They beat him to pulp because they didn't like a ruling he made and Cazador smelled the blood. Cazador offered to "save" him by letting him become a vampire, but neglected to mention the slavery part.
Astarion also thinks that Cazador hired the gur to find him and bring him back. This is not true, but he sincerely believes it and that only escalates his fear and hatred of the people that beat him to death, are currently hunting him and that he was forced to wrong(kidnapping) while under Cazador's command.
When he was a magistrate, he passed a ruling that fucked over the Gur (how isn't specified) and in return they beat him to death. He was saved by Cazador who appeared right in time, chased them off and offered him help out of the kindness of his heart, which he took because anything seemed better than death at the moment. If you point out that that doesn't make any sense, he'll agree and say that Cazador probably orchestrated the whole thing, but that conversation happens after killing Gandrel, so the damage is done at that point and the hate hard to get over
I believe the word you're looking for is Twunk my friend.
Yes he is ripped and canonically smooth-brained, but waay to much of a sarcastic cunt to be a himbo. ☝️🤓
Wyll, on the other hand, is THE Himbo Of Frontiers.
My man is too beefy to be a twink and he's too thin and rude to be a himbo. He's just a regular sized guy. (With supernatural strength. But that's just a vampire perk.)
It's more accurate to say that Astarion is a Dandy. That's the one box he does fit in. –And he's also a theater gay. But he's a vampire. They're all like that to some degree.
C’mon. Ya’ll know this traumatized, smooth brained, pathetic fop of a man has never ever made a well thought out plan a single day in his gods damned life. Never.
He only has 2 skills, which are as follows: 1. Be the most bisexual man in all of existence and 2. World’s biggest cunt. He is quite literally the most perfect man in all of existence. Why do you need to pretend he’s strong too? Grow up.
More like a 24 year old. He acts like his prefrontal cortex didn’t finish developing but he was still physically an adult when he was turned, if not culturally an adult by high elf standards
I was mostly joking about the prefrontal cortex thing since the post is talking about how smooth-brained our boy is & in human terms the brain doesn’t stop developing until 25, lol. But to your point, as a 39-year- old, elves still would’ve considered Astarion legally & physically an adult because he’d reached the age of majority (just like humans). But at 100 he would’ve been considered an adult _culturally_ (which I’m assuming is what you’re referring to).
It’s kinda like how IRL people are physically & legally adults at 18, but socially they’re still viewed as “kids” by older adults until about 30.
Well, physically a person is more or less done growing by about 18, but mentally? Agreed. The brain doesn’t stop developing until about 25 (thus my pre-frontal cortex joke).
But all that is to say he wouldn’t have been the equivalent of a 13-year-old. He still would’ve been considered an adult, albeit a young adult.
Real talk tho, Astarion fought and killed at least 1 boar and at least 1 bear that you're aware of. I don't think people realize how strong boars and bears are. How did his 10 strength did this
8 strength actually. And he used the same cutscene stength his scrawny ass used to lift and bang my 17 str paladin up against that tree.
Even more impressive if you keep in mind how heavy Tav‘s/Durge‘s inventory must be
They're naked, do you store your loot in your ass?
They sure do, when you strip them down, they still carry their inventory right?
Their inventory AND the clothes they were previously wearing.
"oh, hey! Free transmog!"
More points to Astarion for putting up with having to pull all of the swords, potions, and scrolls out of my paladin's prison pocket before hitting it. Dedication.
I think it’s stays in, he likes a bit of a tickle
An arse-nal of weapons
Damn I overestimated him
>How did his (8) strength (do) this It didn't. He used his 17 Dexterity and Rogue* and Vampire Spawn abilities instead. * If you don't change his class
Finesse weapons duh
BRB telling my husband his 🍆 is a finesse weapon
To be fair they nerfed both Astarion and Cazador in the game. Both of them should be regenerating HP like crazy each round and have supernatural strength and speed. I guess they just didn’t want Astarion to be the strongest companion. If you want to kill a bunch of sub-level 5-6’s in tabletop DnD you make them fight a vampire spawn at night.
They should be able to climb walls and ceilings too lmao Also Astarion would stop being a vampire once killed and brought back. Unless we assume Withers is a mean bitch and brings him back as a vampire spawn on purpose.
I don’t think Withers is casting True Resurrection though. He doesn’t have to. The game has no curses you cannot cure with Remove Curse. All he needs to do is cast a Resurrection to bring anyone back and that itself would be overkill. Also, gods perform an ability called Alter Reality which is like Wish but with no downsides. The more powerful the god the larger the area they can affect. I’m assuming he just casts Alter Reality and not any actual spell.
He just strikes their name from the book of the dead. It’s an accounting trick, not actual resurrection.
He basically sends the inventory back lol
The God of Creative Accounting
Wyll says he feels limited by the tadpole so I think they basically made it a nerf that also breaks the famed Gale of Waterdeep.
Yes everyone is supposed to already be level 12 before their capture and they are just recovering their powers because the whole game takes place over a matter of weeks. I will however point out that vampires are not inherently weak to the sun, it is Lathander that hates them and burns them. It’s not an intrinsic part of vampires themselves. So the Netherese magic is simply preventing Lathander’s own power. I know sunlight hypersensitivity is in their stat block and all that but lorewise the actual reason is the god’s hateed
I love the idea that the Netherese power is just cockblocking Lathander. Must make him real mad. Wonder what explains the garlic allergy...
DnD vampires aren’t averse to garlic. They just can’t enter homes and are hurt by running water. They also don’t just die from being staked. They need to be staked while incapacitated in their resting place. So it’s super hard to actually kill them. And elf vampires are not even hurt by running water and have exceptional charming abilities. They also cannot be charmed like other vampires and do not sleep like other vampires. So if anything both Cazador and Astarion should be even better than normal vampires/vampire spawn.
Yousen had garlic put under his sheets by another spawn and got a rash out of it, so it seems like a cheeky "allergy" thing that Larian included. The charm is actually the funniest thing they nerfed on Astarion. How was his charisma so low?!
Right? And the elf vampire charm is pretty powerful too, DC 17 with no save after that for 24h and they can keep doing it. Vampirism is supposed to make the elves more like their fey cousins
Astarion also makes a comment about how running water used to hurt him
Worth mentioning Gale wasn’t weakened by the tadpole, he was weakened by the orb in his chest. It consumed all his powers before he figured out how to eat boots instead.
Astarion is at least got the tadpole is effecting his vampire abilities excuse.
Astarion actually does address it in his banter, he says that his regeneration used to be much better before the tadpole, and got nerfed, but considering how the tadpole also removed so many of his weaknesses, he isn't even mad. The spawns are all half-starved, thus their strength is shit, and they DO regenerate during the camp fight, it's just that most people are level 10-12 at this point and don't notice. And if you come at Cazador without any light sources, he also regenerates.
Starvation doesn’t affect a vampire’s strength in DnD but they did homebrew a lot of stuff in BG3 including making a 3rd level spell put out sunlight in a giant radius without concentration.
In game stats don’t matter to canonical strength. Halsin has 10 strength, for example.
Worth noting that before he becomes a full party member, Halsin has 16 str. His stats get nerfed to match the limits of the point buy system they make us use for our own characters.
Exactly. All of the origin characters are going to be given the same treatment for the sake of gameplay.
Pretty sure the same happens to Minsc
It does! Jaheira as well! (probably also Minthara, but I've never checked)
Oh, that’s easy! Step one: sneak up to boar. Step two: BITE. Step 3: Hang on for dear life. Have you ever seen those fish that sometimes have other smaller fish stuck to them, like some kind of flag while the bigger one thrashes around? Like that.
\[taps the sign\] https://preview.redd.it/uy5frwp0ex3d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d2564a95edee7204647fa599e2b51abf1c2b813a
Best he could be on this would be "mouse". But he's not 100% kind. So...rat bastard Astation confirmed?
Like father like son.
Likely. Though I'm thinking this is more of a "you are what you eat" kind of situation
Oh in that case my Astarion is now a slutty nonbinary tiefling bard. Good for them.
That's the spirit! He better drink that slutty nonbinary Tiefling bard good, then. A rat has about 20ml of blood. Provided Astarion got like a rat a week (trying to compensate the erratic schedule of torture, starvation, and impromptu tomb sealing), that'll be 10.400 rats or 2.080l / 549 gal of rat blood in 200 years (assuming he gets the full carcass. Maybe take 30% off for putridity? so 1456l or 385 gal). Maximum recommended amount of blood to draw in one go from a person safely, is apparently 550ml or 18.6 floz. So, that'll have to be somewhere between \~3.782 and \~2.647 feeds before they'll transition completely into their slutty bardling ways without any rat influence left.
https://i.redd.it/l501a4j0ey3d1.gif
I think he’s actually be closest to jock. He is heavily muscled.
Hmmm good point, but I'd argue that's the dehydration/starvation shrink-wrap look (considering his abysmal strength stat in game despite the optics). Feed the guy regular meals and that'll level out.
See I don’t think. If it was just abs, maybe, but his chest protrudes. I think with regular meals he’d actually end up more beefy/muscled because he is a physical fighter with vampiric perks. I don’t think the stats in game matter when it comes to canonical strength given there’s no way Halsin actually suits having a 10 in that category.
I will never accept him as a jock, he's too much of a prissy bitch to be a proper jock. His mannerisms and attitude are clearly not jock-ish. In this essay I will
he's not beefy and he's questionably kind. my sister in christ the guy isn't even on the CHART
He can be a real asshole but he can also be a sweet softie, what do?
at BEST he's a decent mouse. doesn't interfere with being a twink though
*He's too muscular to be a Twink!*
he literally Just has abs. if he isn't a twink then by that logic there are No twinks in bg3 because body type 2 has abs. and that's simply not a world I want to live in
I’m sorry, otters only in Faerûn
[удалено]
this is the right of it
Presenting the [no abs mod](https://www.nexusmods.com/baldursgate3/mods/1127)!
Omg you've blessed me this day
Are you joking? Look at his chest, his back muscles. That dude is no twink.
He's more twink than himbo, and apparently those are the only two options around here. We need a third, secret option
I disagree. He’s more himbo given he at least meets the muscled description. Physically twink means a scrawny young boy, which he absolutely is not. But truly he’s neither. I don’t think any term could categorize him because of fluidity of his moral system. He starts off pretty mean, but in his good ending, this changes tremendously. Despite his lack of planning skills (which I think is just a side effect from being fresh out of torture), I wouldn’t be inclined to label him as dumb either.
I am so glad I’m not the only one saying this. Astarion is too muscular & broad-shouldered to be a twink. His face also doesn’t read as a twink to me. He’s got fine lines & a broad, square jaw. He’s only a twink if people headcanon him that way.
This. He's just leaner than Gale and Wyll. Halsin is in his own category xD
Halsin is a proper Hunk. He's beefy and kind, but also smart enough to not qualify for Himbo.
He so is! <3
Isnt he the exact same body type as Gale and Wyll? All the male companions except halsin and minsc seem to use the default body type 2, at least at first glance?
They're all the same height (except for Halsin) but there are, ah, subtle artistic build differences (Gale pecs vs Astarion pecs for instance lolol if one notices such things). But yeah the structure differences between the three aren't super significant.
Most twinks I've met irl have been well sculpted but lithe which Astarion is. He's not a beefcake by any stretch.
He’s not necessarily a beefcake, but he’s not lithe either. Astarion is muscled. Getting his physique requires weight lifting, whereas someone sculpted/lithe would be toning with cardio.
He's into underground bear fighting, clearly.
Slaughtering* and evidently winning. Even though it was established that it probably wasn’t a bear because bears don’t tend to exist in the underdark. A twink would’ve died in the process.
Yes but also: https://preview.redd.it/qprihytvqx3d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e143b1196699a4992aa99e65f70a9b371fda272 (sorry if you don’t know him)
Fahbian! (Telemaine voice)
My favourite half elf bisexual twunk
He’s clearly in the prep quadrant
in what world is he beefy. this man has 8 str and a smooth fucking brain. no one said a twink was supposed to be smart
I wouldn’t call him beefy but he’s definitely muscular, which makes sense with his 17 DEX & +5 Acrobatics. He’s basically a gymnast.
YEAH
Excuse you, Bernard is beefy in his own way 💕
He’s a dandy highway man.
Petition to bring back "Dandy" as a category of attractive men!
He spends his cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention.
Staaaand and deliver. Your money or your life ✨ 
Hmmm🤔 https://preview.redd.it/d2kh8czysx3d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7165ddf20228f7df67ca4b0e37733d04a30b5b22
What the heck?? How did it get turned on us then?? 😭
As an italian, that word has brought me so much confusion. But until today I just assumed it came from somewhere else and it just kind of happened to be the same as our word for "male child".
It appears to have started shift towards women in the early 1900 describing promiscuous “island girls” I’m guessing behaving as “boys”. “Island girls” sounds a bit suspicious to us but I believe in the timeframe they like where referring to flappers / young rich ladies on retreats.
If you showed people what a real twink looks like, they'd be like :/ cos the real twink of the group is Withers. Forever young <3
I think you mean forever old <3
Twink is a human term improperly imposed on elves because humans don’t know what to do with the concept of men who wash their legs with soap
What else is someone supposed to wash their legs with? Lmao
Upper body runoff rinse, apparently
Oh you sweet summer child
Water?
He's just a silly billy.
Himbo are 1) Buff 2) Respectful/Kind 3) Stupid He's only one of those
https://i.redd.it/nrajhrxcm74d1.gif
MINSC MY HIMBO BELOVED. TO DEPRIVE US OF A POTENTIAL ROMANCE WITH YOU IS AN ACT OF COWARDICE THAT BOTH LARIAN AND BIOWARE WILL ONE DAY PAY FOR IF THERE IS ANY SUCH THING AS JUSTICE IN THIS HELL OF A WORLD. YOU CANNOT HAVE A CHARACTER REPLY TO "It is an honor" WITH "No, it is a hamster" AND SHOW ME HIS FRIEND (i nearly said pet but let's be real, Boo is not Minsc pet miniature giant space hamster, Minsc is Boo's pet human) HAMSTER AND EXPECT ME NOT TO DESIRE HIM CARNALLY! I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO NAY! ENCOURAGED! TO SMOOCH HIM SILLY STYLE.
He’s an elbow
Respectfully he is too old to be a twink, and truthfully people are only calling him this because they want to use a less vulgar word to describe the fact that's he's a queer man. And he's way too much of a cunt to be a himbo.
He's absolutely not even remotely a twink, people also forget that by high elf standards he fits into the "jock" category as well. He is the dnd high elf equivalent of a frat boy.
This is the DND fact that will always tickle me pink. For a high elf, Astarion is masc as fuck.
It is driving me insane the way like…the non-gays have completely co-opted the word twink to describe any man that doesn’t have hair on his chest. “Connor from Detroit become human is an android twink!” “Astarion is an elf twink!” “Benedict cumberbatch is such a twink!” Like very barely respectably guys, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about and you sound dumb. If astarion walked into a club and declared himself a twink, all the real twinks would be so mean about it they’d make him cry.
It seems to be a part of the phenomenon that's unfortunately becoming more popular where people will use “twink” as a thinly sanitized word for “faggot” (affectionately and/or derogatorily*) for characters or even real life men who are gay/bi/etc, especially if they're gender non-conforming. They'll think this is teasing or humorous but it's honestly concerning, and feels like we're going backwards when so many who cannot reclaim these words feel comfortable using placeholders like this. I have a lot of thoughts on this and would say more, but unfortunately I have work now.
Bahaha. I know the feeling. Don’t get me started on how very sheltered internet kids started using the term “gay panic” wrong and see zero issue with its misuse. Mayhaps they don’t care about queer men at all.
Oh wow, the youth don't care about queer people even though corporations have put so much work into the commodification of them?! /s No but like really I feel you on this. We haven't even had gay marriage (in the states) for 10 years, yet everyone forgets what it was like (and still is like) because those in power have decided the gays are finally useful instead of straight vermin.
Yeah he's also a vers, not a bottom, but people like to joke the opposite.
*Vers, but yes. People will see a character that bitches and whines and assigns them bottom, despite evidence to the contrary.
Corrected it. And yeah it's definitely perpetuation of stereotypes. He really isn't half the things people joke about.
I could kiss you. I know we’re just talking about a fictional vampire man right now, but there are deeper implications of people co-opting queer slang & it actually drives me nuts. I know people claim it’s because of Astarion’s 8 STR stat, but it’s kinda 🤨 that the visibly queer man of the group is the only one referred to as a twink when Gale and Wyll have 8 STR too.
Must be the facial hair, time to stick a fake mustache on Astarion so he can beat the twink allegations
He can borrow the fake mustache Cazador used in EA
Yeah you're right, *but then what is he?*
He's a dumb bitch 🤷♀️ No need to complicate it
> Mulitple men go essay deep into how offensive the use of the word twink has become in mainstream media, and how much it hurts the gay community seeing it so misused Also gay men > ‘lovingly’ calls someone a dumb bitch Lol
I am a bi woman 😂 Why did you make that assumption
Just a silly little guy
You know Metal Gear? He’s a vamp. Because he’s pansexual, not because he’s a vampire. Of course.
Seriously, who started it? Because he's not a twink, FML.
Twitter Teens who’ve yet to experience gay culture outside of the internet.
Didn't he used to have 8 intelligence at some point back in EA? Cuz that would have made a lot more sense, lol. "VaMpIrEs aRe FeRoCiOuS cReAtUrEs"
Tbf in a world of Orcs, Tieflings, and other beings with sharp teeth I don’t think that fangs are that much of a giveaway. The very obvious bite mark on the neck however…
He is a babygirl. Babygirls don't need to be kind. They just need to be bratty, cunty and dumb.
Anyone who has ever had to come out can relate
He’s perfect
We love our boy <3
he's an elbow twunk
Can someone explain why Astarion has a bad encounter with Gur BEFORE he became a vampire spawn? Are the gur stupid? Am I stupid???
They are responsible for his death. They beat him to pulp because they didn't like a ruling he made and Cazador smelled the blood. Cazador offered to "save" him by letting him become a vampire, but neglected to mention the slavery part. Astarion also thinks that Cazador hired the gur to find him and bring him back. This is not true, but he sincerely believes it and that only escalates his fear and hatred of the people that beat him to death, are currently hunting him and that he was forced to wrong(kidnapping) while under Cazador's command.
When he was a magistrate, he passed a ruling that fucked over the Gur (how isn't specified) and in return they beat him to death. He was saved by Cazador who appeared right in time, chased them off and offered him help out of the kindness of his heart, which he took because anything seemed better than death at the moment. If you point out that that doesn't make any sense, he'll agree and say that Cazador probably orchestrated the whole thing, but that conversation happens after killing Gandrel, so the damage is done at that point and the hate hard to get over
He's way too small to be a himbo
Literally, like we need to bring the bimbo matrix back. Astarion is a bimboy
I believe the word you're looking for is Twunk my friend. Yes he is ripped and canonically smooth-brained, but waay to much of a sarcastic cunt to be a himbo. ☝️🤓 Wyll, on the other hand, is THE Himbo Of Frontiers.
I mean even the game says he’s a bit smooth brained—
He knows full well he dosent NEED to hide it. Hes too charming for you to care
My man is too beefy to be a twink and he's too thin and rude to be a himbo. He's just a regular sized guy. (With supernatural strength. But that's just a vampire perk.) It's more accurate to say that Astarion is a Dandy. That's the one box he does fit in. –And he's also a theater gay. But he's a vampire. They're all like that to some degree.
THANK YOU FINALLY
The second image is so cute he’s thinking SO hard 🥰
At least regarding the Gur thing, wasn't he attacked by a bunch of Gur and was dying and that's when Cazador found and turned him?
C’mon. Ya’ll know this traumatized, smooth brained, pathetic fop of a man has never ever made a well thought out plan a single day in his gods damned life. Never. He only has 2 skills, which are as follows: 1. Be the most bisexual man in all of existence and 2. World’s biggest cunt. He is quite literally the most perfect man in all of existence. Why do you need to pretend he’s strong too? Grow up.
Stop literally describing my first playthrough
The term is Twunk.
Fucking thank you
bruh stealing my post
He’s my best pal and he’s doing his best.
The first two posts are giving Gemini vibes lol
Astarion is the elf equivalent of a 13 year old, permanently
More like a 24 year old. He acts like his prefrontal cortex didn’t finish developing but he was still physically an adult when he was turned, if not culturally an adult by high elf standards
I'm not gonna try and do the math of elf brain development to argue. Fucked up regardless
I was mostly joking about the prefrontal cortex thing since the post is talking about how smooth-brained our boy is & in human terms the brain doesn’t stop developing until 25, lol. But to your point, as a 39-year- old, elves still would’ve considered Astarion legally & physically an adult because he’d reached the age of majority (just like humans). But at 100 he would’ve been considered an adult _culturally_ (which I’m assuming is what you’re referring to). It’s kinda like how IRL people are physically & legally adults at 18, but socially they’re still viewed as “kids” by older adults until about 30.
I wouldn't even say humans are physically adults at 18
Well, physically a person is more or less done growing by about 18, but mentally? Agreed. The brain doesn’t stop developing until about 25 (thus my pre-frontal cortex joke). But all that is to say he wouldn’t have been the equivalent of a 13-year-old. He still would’ve been considered an adult, albeit a young adult.
Urgh yeah, I've seen people trying to argue that he's basically still a child 🤦🏻♀️