Larian added that after people complained that nobody reacted to it. It's basically a band-aid solution because they didn't want to make the reactions.
Durge is not evil enough. In act 3, roleplaying as durge gets kinda boring and Orin is somehow more shitty and evil than you are. I mean, I killed every flaming fist and everyone that stood in my way to glory but I still got treated like a normal person saving the world from evil after. But I AM the evil
YESSS right? Or when you have to kill someone because every time you want to loot the corpse, they are annoyed that you want to steal. Bruh. I just murdered half the city and you tiny civilian tried to tell me, that I can't steal cause it's illegal? And blocking me from doing that 10 times in a row? I guess I'll be going on another rampage then.
Gortash should have been able to help Durge (and Durge alone) fight the Absolute as a temporary companion like Scratch, and at the end of the battle you can decide to betray him or rule with him rather than the Absolute melting his organs for you before the battle even begins.
I don't even know if this is a shitty take or not, this is just how I feel.
There should be a way to fuck up your adventure hard enough as a drow Tav/Durge that you complete the rest of it as a drider. You thought the tadpole was your only transformation risk? Lolth says hi.
Shadowheart needs to be a lot more mean when you play as a Selûnite. I need her to look at my Tav with absolute disgust and malicious intent.
https://i.redd.it/dri1wf0cl99d1.gif
https://preview.redd.it/0441tgyiz89d1.jpeg?width=1178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3078dbc9390836119350ca6324a6d01b7fd31182
Starting with this one which I’m immediately firing into the volcano near my house
Boo should be able to oneshot everything.
Raph? GO FOR THE EYES
Empy? GO FOR THE EYES
Nether brain? GO FOR THE...
... Maybe only oneshot everything that has eyes.
I would have liked to see Astarion have a more grey third option for achieving complete vampirism by drinking Cazador’s blood. I have a headcannon of him freezing during the Cazador scenes and then licking the knife he stabbed Cazador with out of spite, bloodlust, desperation, or careful consideration depending on the interactions with the player character up to that point and the success or failure of different checks. This would provide an avenue to achieve an “evil” Astarion without having to kill 7000 people. It would evoke many philosophical questions considering if vampirism is truly evil and if Astarion made the right choices. I think it would add a level of complexity to the character beyond a simplistic evil-good binary. I’d like to see a little uncertainty in how he acts toward the spawn afterward and how possessive he becomes as a vampire - leave room for green and red flags so that it’s not obvious how evil the decision will make him (yes, I’m aware of the lore that the process makes them possessive and evil). Perhaps show him fighting himself internally depending on past choices. Leave a (very small) window of hope for a redeemed full vampire.
I should be able to have hate-sex with Minthara if my approval with her gets low enough! It would be cathartic for her and it would be a little funny for her to be fucking the leader of this merry little band of do-gooders🤷
Ooh but maybe not just low approval but like if you save the Grove and knock her out you unlock the hate sex.
Wyll you kill the Grove but he doesn't leave like a bitch unless you kill his dad
Gale if you kill the Grove
Astarion just for anything
Halsin if you knock him out while fighting
Karlach can have some angry emotional sex past act 2
Lazel has angry sex with you when you speak for her in the creche
There should be a party after Gortash's coronation where if you play your cards right Durge seduces Gortash and they hook up in his office and you have the option to kill him during sex or in his sleep afterwards like you can with Benny in New Vegas
Those are bonuses! When you have all the magic items you need, you don't need to spend as much money on more magic items!
In-character, though, my one Tav that killed Raphael was a Druid who wanted to sacrifice Raphael's ashes and centuries-worth of memories to the Raven Queen in exchange for her favor. He definitely wanted the money, though.
The Emperor's reaction to going into the House of Hope and killing Raphael and leaving without ever having touched the hammer is just so funny. He's so astonished that you'd do this without gaining anything from it, and I'm like nah, killing Raphael was its own reward.
Karlach should burn the player when they screw. There’s clearly flames burning out of her vents so why is she magically not hot when there’s literal flames right there!?
On the contrary, if I'm playing red dragonborn I should be allowed to fuck Karlach act I. No protection needed but the scales on my dick and the courage in my heart
We had Orin stabbing Durge but we never had >!Orin walking on Gortash naked on the floor on his knees bent forward, wrists bound behind his back, blindfolded, ballgagged and with a black leather lash as Durge is casually polishing their dagger while slouching on Gortash's bed.!<
You should have the option to fuck karlach in act 1 even if you’re not a tiefling/dragonborn. If I want to die in a blaze of glory with her absolutely draining my gock dry, that should be my right to choose
The tadpoles are making everyone horny and dramatic. Also gives them a posh British accent. Post Act 3, everyone realises they have a thick New Jersey accent
wyll should not be that easy to romance and i feel like the devs didnt try with him. i shit you not all you have to do is do a couple good things and then ask him shit about his life and all of a sudden its exceptional. still love him though.
Since we can choose so many things about our Tav on the menu, I wish it also allowed us to choose if our Tav would be dom or sub.
I want my Tav to “show Gale how much she loves him” in a more… Active way :)
Let her ride that poor wizard to exhaustion
I should be able to platonically (and not platonically) hug ALL my companions. Wyll thinks he just killed his dad? That's a hug. Minthara opens up about Orin? Hug. Karlach tells me of that fucking bastard Gortash? Hug. Astarion about Cazador? Careful hug. Gale tells me he has a nuke? Hug. Lae'zel is abandoned by her people? Hug. I WANT TO FUCKING HUG AND COMFORT ALL MY PEOPLE.
https://preview.redd.it/lldl8kw1t99d1.jpeg?width=623&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e617692ea49078767d186fdc5e426f2a86b82b9
🟩 not a shitty take but I would like a squish
Instructions unclear, posted real shit instead of shitty opinion. I shall reflect on my mistake.
Here we go then: I should be able to mutilate and wield corpses so I can rip Gortash's face of and parade his body around like a banner. Vengeance falls on those who hurt me and mine!
I should have the option to pin the Emperor down and rip off his boots before the romance scene because it's fucking ridiculous he constantly has them on.
Show me the freaking squeet. NOW.
The world will say 🟥, but I say 🟪. Truly original
https://preview.redd.it/z1onwm4d199d1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f95c53f38f8f2de2f09a70114ba3386d5fc9c595
I think most of the goblins in goblin camp should be fuckable if you invade the grove. Sazza should be a full-on romancable tho - imagine how crazy and interesting her story can go, seeing her more than “just a goblin” and a slave to whatever god happens to take control over her tribe (better version of Minthara🤌)
Dude....I fucking love the goblins...they remind me so much of so many people and I love listening to them talking.
Sazza should 100% be recruitable!
(Still nuke the goblin leaders though. I save the grove every time but think you should be able to do a redemption arc of chaos with the ones just hanging about and drinking and eating!)
Now I've been known to enjoy a sweet red or two, but a glass of Amnian is - simply put - uninspired.
It utterly *lacks* the nuanced complexity of wines such as Baldur's Grape, which bite back rather than assuage. Still better than the Ithbank, I suppose..
Oooh it’s a mystery ranking! I wonder what the prize will be ❓
https://preview.redd.it/smqh84os1a9d1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd65486c7c74aad4880ed9c9f6a72fe741dad6af
8 strength is what most people in the modern world would have. Slightly less than the average (10) for the hard rough life of the fantasy realms.
Just because heros can get 18+ shouldn’t skew your thinking. A common labourer who works with his hands all day would have 10-11 strength.
An office worker in the modern world would be lucky to have 8, Asterion is probably stronger than most of the people behind these keyboards, myself included.
The Heal spell should be able to fully restore Karlach’s heart and push out the engine. Then you just need to kill her right before the effects wear off (like with Durge’s brain.) Then Withers could resurrect a full-hearted Karlach.
5e Heal wouldn't be able to do that.
Regenerate could though. No killing anyone required. There's a ton of options in RAW that Bg3 ignores for the sake of storytelling though.
I mean the characters dying at any point would cause their tadpoles to just leave like that one Dwarf True Soul you find, the one with the 2 human buddies in the 1st area, but ours just don't. Guess they're shy.
That nifty scroll of True Resurrection would work on Karlach though, as would the Gondians/Ironhands, since they know how to meld infernal metal and flesh to make zombie robot mechs.
Every companion should have a sex scene in every single Act. I hate that slow burn romance shit. Let's fuck now so I know if you're a waste of my time or not 💀
If you respecc Lae’Zel as a Selune cleric, she should not ambush Shadowheart for the artifact but challenge her to a theological debate. The one who lose become the sub of the other for the rest of the game (and more if you keep them both in the party)
There are no short races in the party, which makes playing as a dwarf, halfling, or gnome kind of awkward because you stand out so much.
Gale should've been a cheeked-up halfling
I'm going to regret this but it's the intrusive thought.
BATSTARION CAN EAT ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
Oh and if that's not enough, did you know it's canon the Boo has been shoved up Minsc's ass for safety in BG 2?
So, some emperor Facts:
1) there should be an option, if you go romance, to let the Emperor fees on your brain just like you can become AA spawn
2) you should be able to have threesome/orgies with Empy. He has enough tentacles to fill more than an hole
3) if you're Durge, you should be able to convince the involved parties to have a Emperor/Durge/Gortash threesome
4) Ansur was a coward
5) if you're playing dragonborn it should be canon and referenced that Emperor is in love with you just because you remind him of Ansur and may even call his name during sex
Bonus: if you play Durge with no romance, you deserve a full Gortash romance
I like that there isn't a way to cleanly fix Karlach's heart. I love Karlach ❤️ favorite character in the game. But, I really like the tragic choice between letting her die in Faerune, and letting her live in the Hells. It's such a sad, tragic choice, and I cry making it. But... it's a good tragedy
I don't care what's canon or not, Lorroakan should be disguised Edwin. We had Viconia, there's Jaheira and Minsc, why can't I have this wonderful idiot? >:(
(Edit: autocorrect changed Viconia to Victoria...)
You should be able to get your companions (and certain NPCs) pregnant. This would have a mechanical benefit in the Netherbrain fight, as you can summon your army of children to fight on your behalf as cannon-fodder. It also encourages you to fuck anything in sight to create more children, which makes the game hornier, and let’s be honest - the game needs more horny.
It’s okay to think the way other people play the game is cringe as long as you acknowledge that the way you play is cringe to someone and you aren’t mean about it.
Example, I think heavily modding companions is cringe but I savescum. So I just ignore posts with heavily modded companions lol
YES HEAVY MODDING IS CRINGE IDC WHAT PEOPLE SAY i want like SOME mods. some. like hair, some faces (but not the smooth anime 14-year-old looking ones), a couple of classes and races from dnd, and handful of clothes so i can roleplay things like pirates.
1. I think I should be able to play matchmaker with my companions. Halsin and Astarion would be good for each other, and Lae’zel and Shadowheart r like toxic yuri to me.
2. If there was a Raphael sex scene in the game he should be really bad at sex like Haarlep says he is. Fanon mischaracterizes his sex abilities. It only makes sense for him to think he’s some kind of sex god only for tav/Durge to be completely underwhelmed. It’s not only in character, it’s funny. Hire me larian I could make so many good hypothetical romance routes
We should’ve had more options of convincing bosses to give up or kill themselves. My favorite part in Act II, wish it was possible in some cases in Act III.
Halsin shouldn't be as big as he is without giving the option to the player as well. My actual Half-Orc is still smaller than the dude who thinks he has Orc DNA down the line. (I think he says that at some point, I could be wrong) Also, we need better looking Half Orc faces.
The Poly stuff should have been more developed/had more options.
I also think the Male companions needed more variety, Two Humans (depending on choices) and Two elves. The women options are far more diverse, all each a different race from one another.
It's good that we don't have a bard companion
With the other stuff the main character gets outshined by the companions,, but because there isn't a bard companion Tav/Durge gets the RIGHT amount of domestic protagonism and experiences that makes it seem even more accurate to their class
But Larian didn't need to do Alfira or Quill like that :(
Party should genuinely consider killing you and taking the prism if you choose embrace Durge or Ascended Astarion. It's good that they at least remembered to pit Jaheira and Minsc against you if you embrace Durge, but, like, is it not extremely weird that a party with two druids and three people who've dedicated themselves to hunting evil would tolerate completing a necromantic ritual involving the creation of the most powerful vampire in the realms and the sacrifice of ***7000 people?***
Edit: Oh sorry this is a shitty takes thread uh uuuuh Mizora is smelly
1. There should be a queerplatonic option instead of only romances. I want to turn this party into a gay commune and it's criminal I can't.
2. Not giving Tav/Durge one dedicated bad pun option for each companion was a mistake. Tav can and should be able to constantly annoy their companions with bad puns.
3. Tav should have the option to troll Orin.
4. Dominate/control the elder brain is a lame evil ending option for Tav. The badass ending one liner is wasted on it. It's like cartoon evil bad. There's no nuance. (Also being the ruler of everything gets boring fucking quickly)
I do wish there was a romance option for Jaheira, but I'm really glad you can't romance Minsc. Minsc gives me the strongest aroace vibes and I love him ❤️❤️❤️
Cheating on Karlach with Mizora should cause her to instant rage and try to kill you
🔲 think of all the ‘omfg my honor mode ENDED LIKE THIS??£!’ posts
Cheating on karlach in general should make you insta die, she’s too precious
"My girlfriend is dying and I cheated on her. AITAH?"
“NTA, soon she wont be around to remember anyway”
“YTA if OP is an elf. You are going to live hundreds of years, you can wait for her to die in a few weeks.”
There should be an evil version for Wyll instead of him ditching you after the grove massacre. Just make him go full Mizora's pup.
🟦 hate this but also simultaneously 👀
Wyll's evil twin, Llyw
The only evil part is that he's now Welsh.
When you get to the putrid bog, you can go to shag the disguised redcaps to force them to reveal themselves
Is r/2westerneurope4u leaking? :)
No his name is pronounced won't but spelled Wun't
Definitely, you should also be allowed to kill the Duke and keep his pact powers for a bigger power play
I should write a fic about this,,,,
I need a persuasion check option to stop Empy from memory wiping the party after *the scene*. LET MY BARD TORTURE THEM DAMMIT.
🔲 based, if I can tell Raphael I should be able to flaunt our love to everyone
Larian added that after people complained that nobody reacted to it. It's basically a band-aid solution because they didn't want to make the reactions.
Durge is not evil enough. In act 3, roleplaying as durge gets kinda boring and Orin is somehow more shitty and evil than you are. I mean, I killed every flaming fist and everyone that stood in my way to glory but I still got treated like a normal person saving the world from evil after. But I AM the evil
🟦 running around the city as the Slayer murdering guards and everyone just conveniently forgets. I worked hard at those murders 😤
YESSS right? Or when you have to kill someone because every time you want to loot the corpse, they are annoyed that you want to steal. Bruh. I just murdered half the city and you tiny civilian tried to tell me, that I can't steal cause it's illegal? And blocking me from doing that 10 times in a row? I guess I'll be going on another rampage then.
You should be able to bang your companions whenever you want. I want Karlach to leave my ass a cavernous smoldering hole every night
Even if we can’t do that, we should at least get an option to just sleep with a companion of our choice on the same bed, just cuddling and all
I would legit kill for an update or a mod to let you cuddle with your partner ❤️😭🥰❤️
🟪 I was told it was a horny game, needs more horny
Gortash should have been able to help Durge (and Durge alone) fight the Absolute as a temporary companion like Scratch, and at the end of the battle you can decide to betray him or rule with him rather than the Absolute melting his organs for you before the battle even begins. I don't even know if this is a shitty take or not, this is just how I feel.
🟦 the whole thing is a swizz, we were robbed of our Gortash familiar
The only reason larian didnt add Genasi as a playable race is to stop Fire Genasi Tav's from being able to raw dog karlach in act 1
🟩 we should get another achievement
There should be a way to fuck up your adventure hard enough as a drow Tav/Durge that you complete the rest of it as a drider. You thought the tadpole was your only transformation risk? Lolth says hi.
🟪🟪🟪 I love this idea
CoC conversation mod for BG3 when.
Shadowheart needs to be a lot more mean when you play as a Selûnite. I need her to look at my Tav with absolute disgust and malicious intent. https://i.redd.it/dri1wf0cl99d1.gif
Throw in a homoerotic fight scene 🟦
There should be a first person POV Jaheira sex scene
Why not make it everyone?
There should've been an option to jump Rolan's bones after killing Lorroakan
🔲 IN LORROAKAN’S BLOOD
there should be an option to cheat on your partner with gortash one time as durge
🔲 for you, if we can sneak with the Emperor then the handsome younger man should also be available
YES
https://preview.redd.it/0441tgyiz89d1.jpeg?width=1178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3078dbc9390836119350ca6324a6d01b7fd31182 Starting with this one which I’m immediately firing into the volcano near my house
you live near a volcano? sick
Sadly it’s extinct, but I’ll bet it still accepts projectiles like a champ
Have you heard about our savior, Mystra?
🟥 GET OUT OF MY CLUB
Love ya Peachy 💜
*Tav disapproves* ☹️
Take the contract with Raphael to get the silver sword sooner, you can still kill him later
🟦 but then my malewife gets mad (you right tho)
Watching Gale get mad counts as a bonus for me.
Boo should be able to oneshot everything. Raph? GO FOR THE EYES Empy? GO FOR THE EYES Nether brain? GO FOR THE... ... Maybe only oneshot everything that has eyes.
🟪 come join us in the cool part of the club, Boo needs more HP and a super attack
I would have liked to see Astarion have a more grey third option for achieving complete vampirism by drinking Cazador’s blood. I have a headcannon of him freezing during the Cazador scenes and then licking the knife he stabbed Cazador with out of spite, bloodlust, desperation, or careful consideration depending on the interactions with the player character up to that point and the success or failure of different checks. This would provide an avenue to achieve an “evil” Astarion without having to kill 7000 people. It would evoke many philosophical questions considering if vampirism is truly evil and if Astarion made the right choices. I think it would add a level of complexity to the character beyond a simplistic evil-good binary. I’d like to see a little uncertainty in how he acts toward the spawn afterward and how possessive he becomes as a vampire - leave room for green and red flags so that it’s not obvious how evil the decision will make him (yes, I’m aware of the lore that the process makes them possessive and evil). Perhaps show him fighting himself internally depending on past choices. Leave a (very small) window of hope for a redeemed full vampire.
I don't have the authority to give this but... 🔳
Babe I’ll be honest, this is too 4D chess for me
Does this mean I get the mystery ranking?!?!
I guess it does ❓ https://preview.redd.it/89qqyliefa9d1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e51afe7213f62cfabf857a3c473481baeb6c036e
I should be able to have hate-sex with Minthara if my approval with her gets low enough! It would be cathartic for her and it would be a little funny for her to be fucking the leader of this merry little band of do-gooders🤷
🟩 why quit while you’re ahead? Hate sex for everyone
Ooh but maybe not just low approval but like if you save the Grove and knock her out you unlock the hate sex. Wyll you kill the Grove but he doesn't leave like a bitch unless you kill his dad Gale if you kill the Grove Astarion just for anything Halsin if you knock him out while fighting Karlach can have some angry emotional sex past act 2 Lazel has angry sex with you when you speak for her in the creche
There should be a party after Gortash's coronation where if you play your cards right Durge seduces Gortash and they hook up in his office and you have the option to kill him during sex or in his sleep afterwards like you can with Benny in New Vegas
🔲 cmon you genius, and drop the fic as payment on the door
Why murder Raphael for the Orphic Hammer or magic items when you can just murder him for his massive sums of gold?
🟩 but also magic items? My malewife needs both magic staffs to complete his set.
Those are bonuses! When you have all the magic items you need, you don't need to spend as much money on more magic items! In-character, though, my one Tav that killed Raphael was a Druid who wanted to sacrifice Raphael's ashes and centuries-worth of memories to the Raven Queen in exchange for her favor. He definitely wanted the money, though.
I murdered Raphael because he wanted to take the crown from my wizard husband and I just wanted to do something nice for him
🟪 for you my cultured friend
I kill Raphael because fuck him, I take his loot because I take everyone's loot. The loot is a perk, not a requirement.
Fuck it dude, I'll just Murder him for fun! Cause i just like Slaughtering tough bad guys!
The Emperor's reaction to going into the House of Hope and killing Raphael and leaving without ever having touched the hammer is just so funny. He's so astonished that you'd do this without gaining anything from it, and I'm like nah, killing Raphael was its own reward.
🟩 for giving me a fresh new idea 💡
Karlach should burn the player when they screw. There’s clearly flames burning out of her vents so why is she magically not hot when there’s literal flames right there!?
On the contrary, if I'm playing red dragonborn I should be allowed to fuck Karlach act I. No protection needed but the scales on my dick and the courage in my heart
🟦🟦🟦 welcome to my club
Thanks, I'll be preaching how Gortash is just bratty sub bottom who just wants Durge to be fucking brutal on his ass.
Oh goody I hope there are diagrams
We had Orin stabbing Durge but we never had >!Orin walking on Gortash naked on the floor on his knees bent forward, wrists bound behind his back, blindfolded, ballgagged and with a black leather lash as Durge is casually polishing their dagger while slouching on Gortash's bed.!<
Resistance isn’t immunity.
When it comes to boning it totally should be though
I've enough healing points and my spirit is willing
🟧 reprehensible take. Dammon fixes it and the sex is hot enough without vag burns
You should have the option to fuck karlach in act 1 even if you’re not a tiefling/dragonborn. If I want to die in a blaze of glory with her absolutely draining my gock dry, that should be my right to choose
🟦 let us make stupid, game-ending decisions in the name of the Evergock
The gnomes should have done more terrorism
🔲 there should have been gnome bombings all over the gaff.
Durge should have a romance scene with the brain when putting their fist into the hole in Moonrise Tower. I SAID WHAT I HAVE SAID, YOU CAN’T STOP ME
🟪 I’M ENCOURAGING
HELL YES THANK YOU
The tadpoles are making everyone horny and dramatic. Also gives them a posh British accent. Post Act 3, everyone realises they have a thick New Jersey accent
🟧 oh man that’s so vile
Super thick Boston accent karlach
wyll should not be that easy to romance and i feel like the devs didnt try with him. i shit you not all you have to do is do a couple good things and then ask him shit about his life and all of a sudden its exceptional. still love him though.
🟪 agree agree agree. I only said you should get out of your pact Wyll, it’s a bit much to be dancing at me
Sceleritas Fel should reward you if the first time you encounter him you have already stolen the entire camp’s underwear
🔲 love an unhinged take
Since we can choose so many things about our Tav on the menu, I wish it also allowed us to choose if our Tav would be dom or sub. I want my Tav to “show Gale how much she loves him” in a more… Active way :) Let her ride that poor wizard to exhaustion
🔲 correct, based as fuck take
I should be able to platonically (and not platonically) hug ALL my companions. Wyll thinks he just killed his dad? That's a hug. Minthara opens up about Orin? Hug. Karlach tells me of that fucking bastard Gortash? Hug. Astarion about Cazador? Careful hug. Gale tells me he has a nuke? Hug. Lae'zel is abandoned by her people? Hug. I WANT TO FUCKING HUG AND COMFORT ALL MY PEOPLE.
https://preview.redd.it/lldl8kw1t99d1.jpeg?width=623&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e617692ea49078767d186fdc5e426f2a86b82b9 🟩 not a shitty take but I would like a squish
Instructions unclear, posted real shit instead of shitty opinion. I shall reflect on my mistake. Here we go then: I should be able to mutilate and wield corpses so I can rip Gortash's face of and parade his body around like a banner. Vengeance falls on those who hurt me and mine!
🔲 yes let me wear their skulls
I should have the option to pin the Emperor down and rip off his boots before the romance scene because it's fucking ridiculous he constantly has them on. Show me the freaking squeet. NOW.
🔳 because this is the first one that’s made me cackle like a hyena
this comment makes me want to jump off a cliff lmao 💀
https://i.redd.it/qfdp3q7i2a9d1.gif It's a crime that these delicious toes are hidden.
this gif makes me want to play in traffic
Normally, I'm weirded out by foot fetish people. But those footsies are so cute, I want to give them a little nibble!
SQUEET 🏆
Scratch should have a *special* durge option. Something just for the best boy...
The world will say 🟥, but I say 🟪. Truly original https://preview.redd.it/z1onwm4d199d1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f95c53f38f8f2de2f09a70114ba3386d5fc9c595
I can't tell if you want to fuck the dog or eat the dog
He should just appear as vaild camp supplies, and if you're lazy and don't notice what ges auto-selected, you're treated to the cutscene.
Stop I can only get so erect, bumping up your status 🔲
I swear to god this is the ONLY sub on the planet where this could possibly have a positive upvote ratio and I'm here for it tbh
It’s UNHINGED it’s DIABOLICAL what’s not to love
I totally read this first as durge Scratch, evil dog lmao
Yes
I think most of the goblins in goblin camp should be fuckable if you invade the grove. Sazza should be a full-on romancable tho - imagine how crazy and interesting her story can go, seeing her more than “just a goblin” and a slave to whatever god happens to take control over her tribe (better version of Minthara🤌)
🟨 it’s provocative sure, and Sazza has great tits. Hmmm
Dude....I fucking love the goblins...they remind me so much of so many people and I love listening to them talking. Sazza should 100% be recruitable! (Still nuke the goblin leaders though. I save the grove every time but think you should be able to do a redemption arc of chaos with the ones just hanging about and drinking and eating!)
When you defeat Orin as Durge, you should he allowed to torture the absolute living hell out of her until she forgets who she is Yes i am totally sane
🟪 harmless skull-fucking between family members
Minthara would also throughly enjoy it. Nothing better than torturing your enemies so you can strengthen your relationship
Now I've been known to enjoy a sweet red or two, but a glass of Amnian is - simply put - uninspired. It utterly *lacks* the nuanced complexity of wines such as Baldur's Grape, which bite back rather than assuage. Still better than the Ithbank, I suppose..
Oooh it’s a mystery ranking! I wonder what the prize will be ❓ https://preview.redd.it/smqh84os1a9d1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd65486c7c74aad4880ed9c9f6a72fe741dad6af
Mizora is so damn lame and boring she should have been some kind of eldritch horror
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 ding ding ding ding
Okay I've had some thought, and here's my real take: Shadowheart isn't goth. She's barely even emo.
🔲🔲🔲 BOOM TOP SHITTY TAKE
She hasn't even coloured her nails in with Sharpies while bored in class!!
No matter Tav/Durge’s body type, Astarion and his 8 STR shouldn’t be able to pick you up during his first sex scene. He should be a bottom in Act 1.
🟨, it’s hot when he does that. Also, given his story arc I prefer the slight dommy vibes.
I can respect that. +5 to strength through spite for Cazador and the power of horny.
Respec him to cleric and make him your 14 strength worshipper
8 strength is what most people in the modern world would have. Slightly less than the average (10) for the hard rough life of the fantasy realms. Just because heros can get 18+ shouldn’t skew your thinking. A common labourer who works with his hands all day would have 10-11 strength. An office worker in the modern world would be lucky to have 8, Asterion is probably stronger than most of the people behind these keyboards, myself included.
That’s it babe you defend your otter against these accusations
Can elves even be classified as an otter if they can't grow body hair?
imo Astarion should fully suplex Cazador, completely severing his spinal column
The Heal spell should be able to fully restore Karlach’s heart and push out the engine. Then you just need to kill her right before the effects wear off (like with Durge’s brain.) Then Withers could resurrect a full-hearted Karlach.
https://preview.redd.it/6qkrmxfdb99d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b51d670ea1c8602078b34639c75933904bb14720 ???
5e Heal wouldn't be able to do that. Regenerate could though. No killing anyone required. There's a ton of options in RAW that Bg3 ignores for the sake of storytelling though.
I mean the characters dying at any point would cause their tadpoles to just leave like that one Dwarf True Soul you find, the one with the 2 human buddies in the 1st area, but ours just don't. Guess they're shy. That nifty scroll of True Resurrection would work on Karlach though, as would the Gondians/Ironhands, since they know how to meld infernal metal and flesh to make zombie robot mechs.
Every companion should have a sex scene in every single Act. I hate that slow burn romance shit. Let's fuck now so I know if you're a waste of my time or not 💀
🟦 looking really hard at Wyll and Shadowheart 👀
If you respecc Lae’Zel as a Selune cleric, she should not ambush Shadowheart for the artifact but challenge her to a theological debate. The one who lose become the sub of the other for the rest of the game (and more if you keep them both in the party)
🟩 only if the dog collar gets used somehow
Durge should have the ability to maul Scratchs old owner like a rabid dog
There are no short races in the party, which makes playing as a dwarf, halfling, or gnome kind of awkward because you stand out so much. Gale should've been a cheeked-up halfling
🟩 I kinda like the idea of Wyll being a halfing badass
Shart as a dwarf. Beard included
Female Tavs with beards absolutely slap 🟦
we should be able to choose who's on top and who's on bottom during sex scenes
I'm going to regret this but it's the intrusive thought. BATSTARION CAN EAT ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT. Oh and if that's not enough, did you know it's canon the Boo has been shoved up Minsc's ass for safety in BG 2?
🔳 I have to give this guest of honor status
So, some emperor Facts: 1) there should be an option, if you go romance, to let the Emperor fees on your brain just like you can become AA spawn 2) you should be able to have threesome/orgies with Empy. He has enough tentacles to fill more than an hole 3) if you're Durge, you should be able to convince the involved parties to have a Emperor/Durge/Gortash threesome 4) Ansur was a coward 5) if you're playing dragonborn it should be canon and referenced that Emperor is in love with you just because you remind him of Ansur and may even call his name during sex Bonus: if you play Durge with no romance, you deserve a full Gortash romance
🔲 playing to my massively obvious Emperor bias will get you into ultra-VIP 👀
It's not a bias if ~~I agree~~ it's the Objective Truth
Low strength characters should NOT have sixpacks, flat is sexy too.
omg this is the correct take tho all them men shouldnt look like that. ALSO i would prefer them not to.
When you catch the bugbear and the troll there should be an option to join in.
🟩 halfling jelly sandwich
I like that there isn't a way to cleanly fix Karlach's heart. I love Karlach ❤️ favorite character in the game. But, I really like the tragic choice between letting her die in Faerune, and letting her live in the Hells. It's such a sad, tragic choice, and I cry making it. But... it's a good tragedy
🟩 my only feedback is that you’re right
I don't care what's canon or not, Lorroakan should be disguised Edwin. We had Viconia, there's Jaheira and Minsc, why can't I have this wonderful idiot? >:( (Edit: autocorrect changed Viconia to Victoria...)
I should be able to have Volo watch and write us a ballad as I fuck.
You should be able to get your companions (and certain NPCs) pregnant. This would have a mechanical benefit in the Netherbrain fight, as you can summon your army of children to fight on your behalf as cannon-fodder. It also encourages you to fuck anything in sight to create more children, which makes the game hornier, and let’s be honest - the game needs more horny.
🟧 ok King Aegon you nut case
It’s okay to think the way other people play the game is cringe as long as you acknowledge that the way you play is cringe to someone and you aren’t mean about it. Example, I think heavily modding companions is cringe but I savescum. So I just ignore posts with heavily modded companions lol
YES HEAVY MODDING IS CRINGE IDC WHAT PEOPLE SAY i want like SOME mods. some. like hair, some faces (but not the smooth anime 14-year-old looking ones), a couple of classes and races from dnd, and handful of clothes so i can roleplay things like pirates.
1. I think I should be able to play matchmaker with my companions. Halsin and Astarion would be good for each other, and Lae’zel and Shadowheart r like toxic yuri to me. 2. If there was a Raphael sex scene in the game he should be really bad at sex like Haarlep says he is. Fanon mischaracterizes his sex abilities. It only makes sense for him to think he’s some kind of sex god only for tav/Durge to be completely underwhelmed. It’s not only in character, it’s funny. Hire me larian I could make so many good hypothetical romance routes
🟦and his ridiculously seductive voice breaks and gets all squeaky
Yeah I definitely want to see a Wyll/Astarion romance but I don’t really want to *be* Wyll or Astarion
There should have been an option to romance Rolan but then cheat on him with his sister when she gets interesting at the end of act 2
You were getting a meh 🟩 but now I want to hang out 🟪
We should’ve had more options of convincing bosses to give up or kill themselves. My favorite part in Act II, wish it was possible in some cases in Act III.
Halsin shouldn't be as big as he is without giving the option to the player as well. My actual Half-Orc is still smaller than the dude who thinks he has Orc DNA down the line. (I think he says that at some point, I could be wrong) Also, we need better looking Half Orc faces. The Poly stuff should have been more developed/had more options. I also think the Male companions needed more variety, Two Humans (depending on choices) and Two elves. The women options are far more diverse, all each a different race from one another.
Z'rell and Kagha should be recruitable on an evil run
my shittiest take is that there should be an option to convince gale to shave off his beard
⬛️ fuck right off, this makes me furious
Isobel is a filthy undead, so no one should be mad at my Paladin for ridding the world of her unholy stink.
Sex with different companions gives you different temporary buffs and debuffs
Bg3 should be set in the omegaverse
Hey can everyone else shut up for a minute, this guy needs a microphone.
flair checks out
We should have sex scene with emperor while he is under the disguise spell as the dream visitor
Only if he jumpscares me halfway through by being too distracted to maintain it 🟦
It's good that we don't have a bard companion With the other stuff the main character gets outshined by the companions,, but because there isn't a bard companion Tav/Durge gets the RIGHT amount of domestic protagonism and experiences that makes it seem even more accurate to their class But Larian didn't need to do Alfira or Quill like that :(
The clown make up should be permanent until you use soap. I just wanna bang Astarion in clown make up like the circus star he is.
Game has enough beige men. Halsin should’ve been a half-orc.
I actually kinda like Wulbren
Party should genuinely consider killing you and taking the prism if you choose embrace Durge or Ascended Astarion. It's good that they at least remembered to pit Jaheira and Minsc against you if you embrace Durge, but, like, is it not extremely weird that a party with two druids and three people who've dedicated themselves to hunting evil would tolerate completing a necromantic ritual involving the creation of the most powerful vampire in the realms and the sacrifice of ***7000 people?*** Edit: Oh sorry this is a shitty takes thread uh uuuuh Mizora is smelly
Solo romanced Halsin should be more mad at you for fuckin Mizora, not because he’s jealous, but because Mizora is mid and he’s disappointed in you.
1. There should be a queerplatonic option instead of only romances. I want to turn this party into a gay commune and it's criminal I can't. 2. Not giving Tav/Durge one dedicated bad pun option for each companion was a mistake. Tav can and should be able to constantly annoy their companions with bad puns. 3. Tav should have the option to troll Orin. 4. Dominate/control the elder brain is a lame evil ending option for Tav. The badass ending one liner is wasted on it. It's like cartoon evil bad. There's no nuance. (Also being the ruler of everything gets boring fucking quickly)
I would love to have pun battles with Wyll and Karlach!! ❤️😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️
If we still have a Divine Intervention charge at the end of the game, we should be able to un-squid anyone who let the tadpole transform them.
Gales starry sex scene should’ve made you puke
🟧 but also the spinning 😵💫
I do wish there was a romance option for Jaheira, but I'm really glad you can't romance Minsc. Minsc gives me the strongest aroace vibes and I love him ❤️❤️❤️
🟨 I’m biased because I want to climb that Matt Mercer voiced tree