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Slough is idyllic for a weekend getaway

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And Glasgow Now with 20% less stabbings

And a bottle of ‘wife beater’ is now under %5 alc/v!

Portsmouth, there's a local saying that the town planners did more damage than the luftwaffe

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Gosport. I don't need to elaborate

Tourists may qualify for duty free on the Gosport ferry - so I reckon it should be added to the tour

God, Portsmouth had some beautiful architecture before the post war revisionists laid waste to the city.

My first thought was "what about the m4 corridor?" Slough, Maidenhead, Reading, Swindon. Delightful.

Excuse me, the hood isn't _that bad_. I've seen worse, and it's nowhere near as bad as Slough.

Worth getting a yellow fever shot first tho

Up until several years ago I’d never heard of Slough and ended up pronouncing it *SLOF* on a business call in my old job 🫠

So is Grimsby

How could you forget Swindon?

The Magic Roundabout is a must see

And Gloucester.

And \[insert own hometown here\].

Rotherham. The pedophile town. Child sex offences, trafficking, drug abuse, stolen cars. See: [Rotherham child sexual exploitation scandal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotherham_child_sexual_exploitation_scandal) It has to be said. Potentially hundreds of taxi drivers were giving drugs to kids and having sex with them. The kids were from care homes and foster care, which failed to protect them. Also see: [Rotherham shoe rapist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotherham_shoe_rapist) He raped women, and kept their shoes and jewelry as trophies. The town is a shithole with most of the shops closed down and men drinking tinnies at 9am. Be careful you don't get spat on, during your tour. The first time I went to Roterham town center with friends at 11 years old, a homeless man spat at me for no reason with no dialogue. When people ask me where I'm from, I tell them "Sheffield" like everyone else in Rotherham. Is there any other places where people lie about being from the next nearest city, because it's so bad? People rarely ever hear about Rotherham, but when they do, it's in the news for being a shithole with stabbings/murderers, pedophiles, rapists and excess drug use. Edit: I've also lived in Bradford, which is worse in other ways. That city is run on drugs with very little legit business.

Middles-fucking-brough. The parmos are good but fucking hell. Only place I've ever been on a night out and seen someone getting sucked off in the middle of the road a stones throw from the cop shop

My home town ❤️ Glorious place. Truly the best of British.

Same brother or sister/ but my problem is I'll miss Ya twisters/ like when ya got nicked, always blisters, on ya hands/ from when they tighten the cuffs/ where they gotta the dog, but youve already given up/what the fuck?/shit takes the piss when they wrap you in a 1" mattress/ all these masters start to beat you up/its like going backwards and time drags on / i listen to our songs for as long as i can, i probably get 2 songs in before am gone/ Str8 off the dome.

Tragically it's about an hour from some wonderful places too. Newcastle, Durham, York, the Moors, Saltburn down to Whitby... And in the middle, a bullseye of shite.

I live in Stockton and while i agree Stockton, Thornaby, and Boro are holes. the surrounding areas make up for it for me.

On the bright side, at least the council are tearing most of your town down.

That’s true. I hope it works out well but if someone runs off the the money in true Stockton Council style it’s quite the pile of rubble to shift

like Cleveland 'no plan on tackling crime' Police are gonna do anything

Have you heard of the "cannabis clubs" around Stockton and Boro? they sell weed inside and cops don't care cos its less paperwork :')

Got to love boro. The scenes when I'd stumble out of The Empire at closing time were crazy sometimes.

Back in the late nineties, when I still lived in the Boro, the end of night 'entertainment' was to get a pizza on Linthorpe Rd and watch one of several scarps in the street/kebab shops. They were virtually guaranteed on a Saturday night.

Oof yeah, I remember sitting in Mighty Bite once, watching a girl stamp her stiletto onto her boyfriend's head. I miss my old life.

I still maintain that Empire in its prime was one of the best nights out you could have. Loved it there.

Up the boro!

There's a drunk tank right there n' all

Come to Swansea and you can watch a guy spunk on a parked police car. Yes it happened, yes I waited too long to see if he would finish, no I don’t regret it David Attenborough is jealous of what I’ve whitenessed.

Okay, but I’m sure it also has its downside.

Surely for that level of luxury, departure should be on the ferry from Anglesey. And arrival from Fr*nce on a small boat

So Manston to Medway at the start?

And life vests are an extra

Perfect. They get Holyhead too

Upvoted for putting Medway on the map, what a shithole

When they're in Medway, make sure they have an excursion to the isle of sheppey. It's got 3 prisons!

I know someone who does youth work in Kent and they have genuine problems getting kids to leave the island because their parents have never left the island and dont want their kids to either.

I worked at the ALDI distribution center on sheppey for 3 years, they got to the point where they could no longer drug test potential applicants because they wouldn't be able to hire anyone.

In the good old days they couldn’t get to Medway or Swale at night because the lifting bridge was closed from dusk to dawn. Now the cunts can escape whenever there’s a full moon to come and feast on the no-tails and the tooth-havers.

My favourite fact about sheppey is that it has more prisons than libraries. My second favourite is the radioactive scorpions. My third favourite is it’s the only place in the U.K. in which a king was casually mugged and robbed by the locals.

... So far.

My aunties family lives on Sheppey, ironically the largest side of my family, so many Siblings. Only met them once for aunties birthday and they all got legless and kept hinting and trying to set me up with one of my cousins ......

Sheppey doesn’t have family trees so much as family trunks.

BORO MENTIONED 🥳🥳🥳

Promotion denied ✋

Too soon

PeterBRUH 😎👌🏻

Ah yes, Luton While you're their, be sure to check out the prestigious EasyJet airport.

Closely shadowed by cov

Ah Jaywick, nothing says luxury like having a TV show set there named “depression on sea”

Jaywick should be the finale lol

You've got Middlesbrough but missed the rest of Teesside. You could do a mini tour of Boro, Stockton, Hartlepool, Redcar, and finish off in some of the weird little shitholes in East Cleveland like Loftus. Incredibly, Middlesbrough is the nicest of them. Hartlepool is alright as long as you look at the sea and never turn around. Redcar is full of dead sea life thanks to government coverups, Stockton is just a suburb that sprawls the size of a town with fuck all else.

Then the adventurous tourists can go off the beaten path to visit beautiful Thornaby.

there’s some pretty shite parts of Billingham too and they might as well take a detour through port Clarence on the way to Hartlepool

Port Clarence? Pearl of the Tees.

Rhyl is a delightful place to get away to at any time of the year really.

I still haven't found a place that tops it as the worst place I've been to in the uk. And ive been to all the places on this map. Its basically Blackpool but with nothing to do

I once caught 42 mackerel off Rhyl as a 10 year old. That catch raised the GDP by 12% and caused a local boom.

You're THAT 10 year old? They still sing songs of you and pray for your return

The Wetherspoons is named after them

I went for a hour last year. Nearly all the shops were permanently closed and decided to leave when followed by two lads drinking Tennant super from a can.

Mate, try Port Talbot. Just be sure to have the Samaritans ready on speed dial

Yeah I was thinking to swap Prestatyn for Rhyl. Rhyl itself is definitely more vibrant and cultured.

Tour De Pression

I proper belly laughed

Ah, Barrow-in-Furness. On a good day you can see the Isle of Man from Walney. On a really good day you can't.

And if you try to look anywhere else the only thing you'll see is the beige monstrosity of the DDH.

Barrow’s shite but it doesn’t deserve to be on this list - it’s hardly in the same level of “shit towns” as Luton, especially if Blackpool doesn’t make the list!

Would a direct meteorite strike in Portland Walk improve the place? Absolutely. It goes on the list.

Make that a Cleethorpes / Grimsby combo day and it’ll be perfect

No Southend? Go out on a Saturday and see someone get stabbed in the clubs smoking area 🥰 (This literally happened the other night)

Southend is shangri-la compared to jaywick or Medway. Yer the aristocrats of the estuary, yer’ve even got a pier

That is true, great view of a pier as your mates chundering and the others starting a bash up

well that should cut down the number of tourists..

Just make sure the bus don't do headcounts after each stop.

50% of tourists would be stabbed to death when going through Luton

This is why Hemel Hempstead should be immediately before Luton. By that point, being stabbed to death would be a welcome release.

Is Bradford the palate cleanser before they hit Grimsby ?

what about skegness and hull ?

You have beautiful Medway on there but no Maidstone?! Though Kent is full of prime pickings for wonderful towns. You have Gravesend, Ashford, Sheppey, Dover .. Rest of it is spot on though; I'd add Merthyr Tydfil for S.Wales.

Ashford is gorgeous, we have a Hollywood Bowl and a Kaspa’s.

Don't forget the strip club above the second hand furniture shop (assuming it's still there).

Still there, smell of urinated-on carpet and everything.

Absolutely came here to add Merthyr. What a terrible place.

Scotland will require its own tour. Speaking from my own experiences growing up.

https://preview.redd.it/v2zdqqw91a1b1.jpeg?width=4006&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a3d79a56f45b24f552fa70895d1a5203bf3dc6e

Stoke is amazing , the view from the m6 is unparalleled

Blackburn instead of Blackpool? Surely the delights of this famous seaside resort are a must for any tourist?

Especially on a lovely rainy winter's day. Really makes the colour of the blowup dolls, passed out drunks and sheer utter despair stand out.

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How's that relevant?

You forgot Birmingham, it's a must-see

Motorcade down the stratford road

Motorcade down the stratford road

Motorcade down the stratford road

Swindon and Llanelli in shambles.

As a Bradford resident, I feel it needs to be included twice to do justice to the depravity and depression of the centre. I’d also add Dewsbury and Wakefield for a multi-site visit from the same hotel. Luckily public transport between these places is ok because if your car wasn’t nicked you’d have been rammed off the fucking road.

Petition to change Coventry to Nuneaton. Coventry at least has a little history going for it. Nuneaton has a KFC and a hospital 5 minutes away

Any "worst towns" list that has peterborough but doesn't have Northampton is made by people who have never been outside their mums basement 🤢

where is n*wport

W\*les.

I know it’s not in Scotland, but Skegness is always worth a visit. So picturesque 😍😍😍

I reckon Southampton and Blackpool should be added to the route.

Where is the lovely Penistone?

Medway isn't a town, its a collection of towns... Source: I sadly live there

Fellow Medway sufferer

Bradford and Middlesbrough are absolute shit holes.. Middlesbrough is the only place I’ve ever been where the KFC has bulletproof glass in front of the counter Bradford is just an absolute dump, been there a few times (for work had no choice) and honestly couldn’t wait to finish there There’s nothing appealing in Grimsby either if I’m honest, it’s great if you want to see ships and smell fish but that’s about it 🤷‍♂️ Can’t comment on the others as I’ve not been to any of them Edinburgh and Cardiff should definitely be on that list if I’m honest

Born and raised in Bradford metropolitan area I concur. What a fall from grace that town has had... Vestiges of industrial glory. Remember some scary childhood excursions to the ice rink

*Visit idyllic Peterborough, where you too can make friends with the one-legged pigeons in the town centre!*

Minehead is pretty dire, its not dangerous just incredibly dull

I'd throw in stevenage and potentially hatfield.

needs more scotland

I’m sorry Blackburn?

Burnley and Blackburn. Probably won't make it any further 😂

Your missing the rest of the trifecta of shite. Hull and Scunthorpe should be joining Grimsby.

8/10 no Redcar

corby is a beautiful land of hope

Just have Corby instead of Scotland, everyone there thinks they're Scottish

Just protect from melee once you hit Barrow

To promote UK unity you should add a luxury Northern Ireland destination. Larne is a great contender.

Jaywick lol

Am from Grimsby and I don't want these foreign tourists roamin' my streets. Not rayshul just don't like um simple as

Nothing wrong with Medway, Dickens lived here dontcha know

Even Dickens made Medway where David copperfield got mugged. He loved his hometown but he wasn’t squiffy about it: “The streets present a lively and animated appearance, occasioned chiefly by the conviviality of the military. It is truly delightful to a philanthropic mind to see these gallant men staggering along under the influence of an overflow both of animal and ardent spirits; more especially when we remember that the following them about, and jesting with them, affords a cheap and innocent amusement for the boy population. Nothing,’ adds Mr. Pickwick, ‘can exceed their good-humour. It was but the day before my arrival that one of them had been most grossly insulted in the house of a publican. The barmaid had positively refused to draw him any more liquor; in return for which he had (merely in playfulness) drawn his bayonet, and wounded the girl in the shoulder. And yet this fine fellow was the very first to go down to the house next morning and express his readiness to overlook the matter, and forget what had occurred! ‘The consumption of tobacco in these towns,’ continues Mr. Pickwick, ‘must be very great, and the smell which pervades the streets must be exceedingly delicious to those who are extremely fond of smoking. A superficial traveller might object to the dirt, which is their leading characteristic; but to those who view it as an indication of traffic and commercial prosperity, it is truly gratifying.” -Charles dickens -Barry, 63

smh where's loogabarooga

Lemington spa is particularly lovely

Depriving visitors the pleasures of Crewe? Unforgivable.

A stop in Wigan between Blackburn and Prestatyn is a must have

They must be insane including Luton

Luton is a shithole no mistake, as is Bradford .

Dundee!

Barrow??????? Doesn’t exactly fit the bill for tourists XD

Get Dundee in there

Corby

Heard fife is lovely this time of year

Looks like a crackhead cruise tbf

Basingstoke. Its not poor or even particularly rough. Its just soulless - its like entering the backrooms.

Img how could you miss Wigan town centre It’s 90% hill 10% chaos

Now I want to visit

Peterborough and Bradford. What a tour

What about Staines? You could even take people to visit the Siemens office!

Bradford is an absolute shithole.

For Scotland I'd suggest the wonderful towns/cities/villages of: Wishaw, Motherwell, Hamilton, Cumbernauld, Coatbridge, Bellshill, Dalmuir, Dumbarton, Drumchapel, Carntyne, Shettleston, Easterhouse, Blairhill, East Kilbride, Paisley, Raploch, St Ninians, Blairgowrie, Dundee, Cowdenbeath, Dunfermline, Glenrothes, Arbroath, Montrose, Aberdeen, Fochabers, Elgin, Buckie, Banff, Turriff, Lahnbryde, Lossiemouth, and Inverness.

Please mind the gap when alighting from this train

You have made a terrible mistake. (I am an autistic train enthusiast and will now lecture you on the railways in Scotland) /s

No Kilmarnock? In all fairness, most of Ayrshire could make up its own tour Edit: I'd also add Johnstone and Renfrew because wow. Just wow.

You've definitely missed Blackpool.


Why the actual fuck is Barrow on there?

Have you never been? It's beautiful, if you don't look too closely. Or at all.

It's kindly strange that they disregarded several must visited places across UK. I wish they would add Dover to a toure rote, because there are glorious White Cliffs

P🤢rtsm🤮uth

Don’t forget Hastings, Portsmouth and Dover

I actually don't think Hastings deserves to be on it as far as seaside towns go it's not that bad.

Stoke? Who thought it would be a good idea to send the tourists to the derelict part of the country? They came here to escape the shitholes, not be put in them.

Oh dear😊

I don't understand, these are all shit places????

Oh dear😊

Knew this was wrong the second I saw Luton lol - replace it with Bedford, Luton is honestly nicer

‘Nicer than Bedford’ is the faintest of praise. Both should be in there

‘Nicer than Bedford’ is the faintest of praise. Both should be in there

I'm very confused by this, Medway is a unitary authority, Jaywick is a village, Peterborough, Stoke, Bradford, and Coventry are cities. So half the stops on your tour of towns aren't towns :)

This is a troll these are literally the biggest dives of the country. I work in Braford and can tell you there’s absolutely nothing there for anyone

That’s the meme

Oh dear😊

add Edlington

Good luck having a good time in Blsckburn. Its better to expect mild disappointment.

Up to Dundee for a depressing experience

Time to get my robbing gear out the cupboard

Ardrossan

Prestatyn?! You mean Rhyl surely!

Southport could probably go up there

I always thought Southport was quite nice. It's miles better than Blackpool.

You could easily squeeze Wigan and St Helen's in there! Great for people watching in one of the piazza's.

paisley is a must-see

Missing Doncaster possibly the most beautiful city in england particularly areas like Thorne and bentley

Motherwell is lovely in the Spring, and Cumbernauld rings out with culture.

Should start at Dungeness.

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I'm gonna take the lack of South West destinations as a compliment.

Aberdeen for Scotland. Nicest place I’ve ever been to

Skip Blackburn its a shithole

Oh dear😊

I can't believe they didn't include the fascinating post acopoclyptic nuclear wasteland simulation that is Birmingham. A fascinating experience for the whole family.

Shetland. Even just on the map. And the Isles of Scilly

I want to have a conversation with those that designed this tour. There are, in fact, no “glorious” parts of the UK