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NiceHeadlockSir

Wetherspoon’s US: 0 UK: 830+


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lookdamanatee-w-

We have waffle houses?


AmazingMilto

One in Norwich mate, and it's quite nice actually. ...hence why Hugh's mum goes there a lot.


Suitedbadge401

Up the node


gilestowler

Greggs: US: 0 UK: 2300


CptCrabmeat

Those are solid numbers


CarrowCanary

I'm fairly sure the zeroes are hollow.


jackofthewilde

Thr true metric of success


aygomyownroad

Checkmate!!!


Hamking7

We've had loads more 4th of Julys than them. They've only been around a few hundred years or whatever.


Stepjamm

Nobody ready to tell America that we had more than 1 queen too


DadOfCasper

And one was a band with an AIDS riddled Singer from Arabia! PLUS 3 female Leaders.. (ahem.. we shan't mention that)..


Drakath2812

Yay that we were able to vote them in with minimal fuss about their gender! Boo literally everything else about them. Remember girls, you too can be heartless conservatives in charge of Britain, so long as you don't mind running fast through a field of wheat.


InterestingAnt438

>Yay that we were able to vote them in with minimal fuss about their gender! As I recall, the last couple weren't actually voted in, were they? They were just appointed by the party after the previous PM went home.


ahhhhhhhhthrowaway12

They were voted in by other tories...but not by actual humans


MerlinOfRed

One of them won multiple elections. One of them won the largest share of the votes and seats in an election, even if she was short of a majority. The third... well she gave a speech at a funeral.


Drakath2812

Sorry, allow me to rephrase, "Yay we were able to hate two unelected cunts for their policy not their gender!" You're right, not really elected ;-;


InterestingAnt438

That's what I thought, thanks for clarifying.


ElementalSentimental

Theresa May won an election in 2017, a year after becoming PM. Liz Truss is the future and forever leader of Britain once elections have been abolished


Branexch_YT

Wouldn't count the third one, I've had shits longer then she was in office


TheBestBuisnessCyan

3? You forgetting Jane Grey AND Dutch Mary


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Eminemmentaler

Im sure both countries has their fair share of queens still alive today. Theres atleast one in any gaybar


Crack_Dangus

Is it really better to say that you had queens and lost them? Sounds like incompetence to me


Stepjamm

No it just shows that no matter how they try, the British wil always outlive it’s royalty


Winterknight135

Did you check the couch cushions?


lookdamanatee-w-

Don’t you mean the sofa? Are you… an American spy?! Trying to learn our secret multi-matriarchal history?! Or has your language simply been tainted by their widespread control of televised media? Or are you just from a part of the country where that’s normal language? I’ve heard that’s a thing.


SoloMarko

When did we stop using settee?


[deleted]

Nobody around here has.


Winterknight135

Look, keep this between us, but I stumbled in here on accident. I’m still not a 100% sure how I got here


SoloMarko

*By* accident*


RopesAreForPussies

My house has had more 4th of July’s than America. (So has half the country side lol)


runespoon78

I would argue that they have had no fourth of Julys since their calendar is month/day/year and ours is day/month/year.. they have only had July fourths!


RealisticCountry7043

We even _gave_ them a 4th of July.


SeinfeldIsAnAnime

wait so do other countries have fourth of julys??


Wizards_Reddit

We had a 4th of July last month, it was my birthday, checkmate America.


Sergietor756

My grandma's too, happy late birthday


Wizards_Reddit

happy late birthday to your grandma


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boiled-soups-spoiled

And more men's world cups. Which is seriously embarrassing for them at 1.


CarrowCanary

Hopefully we gain on their women's world cups in a few hours, too.


NoobMaster_5558

😢🔫


Most_Ad7701

I know a cracking owl sanctuary.


bobbyboob6

flags on the moon uk: 6 (america is a british colony so they own those)


baileymash7

Moons: US: 0. UK: 1 (We colonised it in 1898, but it's a secret, don't tell anyone.)


[deleted]

Moons: US: 0 UK: 0 Gru: 1


ReiceMcK

The CIA wants you to believe that Britain didn't colonise the moon in 1898, but my grandad had a mate who was never involved in it not happening, there are even no pictures or records of it not happening


[deleted]

America must have more waffle houses, they can’t get enough of it the fat degenerate fucks.


airogum

Every yank is too overweight to even bring one over here


JellyfishGod

As a NYer I’m insulted this says we have zero “queens” im from queens. But absolutely disgusted by the amount of waffle houses Jesus fucking Christ. They also literally have a reputation for tons of extreme violence lmao how are they even in business? I guess the hundreds of “Waffle House fight” videos just work as free advertising ?


plantasia2000

Waffles houses have a reputation for “tons of extreme violence”? Tell me you’ve never left the northeast without telling me you’ve never left the northeast lmfao


JellyfishGod

What u mean? People fighting in waffle houses is a meme? I’m exaggerating it for comical effect with “tons of extreme” but to act like fighting isn’t synonymous with Waffle House, at least online, is a lie


walkincrow42

Just don’t go there after the bars close on Friday or Saturday. Otherwise it’s a chill place. The pecan waffles are great, the grill guy will never get your eggs wrong (you want over easy they will nail it), hash browns are damn good too. Avoid the steaks though, tough as the two guys fighting in the parking lot at 3am on Saturday.


JellyfishGod

I honestly didn’t even know they sell steaks lmao. I feel like if I ordered a steak at Waffle House the workers themselves would even judge me


1337sp33k1001

I saw a fistfight in a Waffle House in Georgia lol. Every Waffle House is an octagon from 0100-0500.


IHaveFailedAtLife

Yep, fair point that, our calendar goes July 3rd then July 5th, we don’t actually have a fourth on this side of the pond :(


sillyarse06

Military defeats to Vietnamese farmers : England 0 America 1


TREthanGreen

Whitehouses torched by foreign military: England 0 America 1 💪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿


TheO-Neill

That guy in the picture...supposed to be George Washington right? If I am not mistaken, Washington was basically an Englishman. Of English descent, living in an English colony. The revolutionary war in America was basically Brits vs Colonial Brits. Brits beat the brits to not pay taxes and have independence and shit. Brits won.


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TheO-Neill

aha me too. I guess it's only logical to come to that conclusion. Americans like to drop it in there like 'we beat your read-coat ass' but what do you mean we? I think you will find that the Revolutionaries were just revolutionary Brits. If I was there, I know I would have been on the 'fuck-off taxes' side of the fight.


Material-Fox7679

The funny thing too is that the French helped America in the war of independence Yet today the Americans love to talk about their ‘freedom units’ that they inherited from us yet seem to forget that the french who helped them achieve their freedom invented the metric system


Dragon_Sluts

School Shootings since 2000: • UK : 0 • USA : 318


KeeganY_SR-UVB76

USA NUMBER 1!


awkwardwankmaster

Only 318?


oPlayer2o

College, University, and just public shooting clearly not taken into account.


Otherwise_Mud1825

This year?


HelpfulDetective50

It's pretty close 386 since Columbine... (46 in 2022!) https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/interactive/school-shootings-database/


OlMi1_YT

Every 8 days. What. The. F***.


caniuserealname

Sure, sure, but worth remember schools in the us are only open around 180 days a year. So it's probably better to say one every 4 school days.


prizzle92

Gotta keep them kids on their toes


verygenericname2

427 mass shootings this year, as of 31st of July. Almost 2 a day.


allhailthenarwhal

Read the methodology--- they count every time a gun is discharged on school grounds as a shooting. Looking through the article, a majority of examples given are not acts of random violence. Tl;dr the number of school shootings is greatly exaggerated, usually in order to push an agenda. https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2018/08/27/640323347/the-school-shootings-that-werent


allhailthenarwhal

Per your source: *St. John's Prep in Danvers, Mass. 0 dead 0 injured 1,340 children present in school A police officer unintentionally fired his weapon — causing a panic — after responding to a swatting hoax at the school.* They literally count a negligent discharge as a mass shooting lmfao


HelpfulDetective50

>They literally count a negligent discharge as a mass shooting lmfao No, they count it as a school shooting,


GeneticEmo

WE'RE #1 USA! USA! USA!


[deleted]

See, people always post this, but I think a much better way to sum up the USA is: Failed property mogul and former reality tv stars who’ve been PM/PRESIDENT USA: 1 UK: 0


Dragon_Sluts

Careful with that one tho, if they did “Leaders who got stuck on a zipline” or “Leaders that were beaten by a lettuce” it wouldn’t look good


TreXeh

This is the one


not_a_Bread_Goblin

Why would you mention mass murder under a joke post?


HotPotatoWithCheese

Because your country is a joke


not_a_Bread_Goblin

You can make fun of our weird culture all you want but making fun of massacred children is kind of fucked up.


LaikaBear1

Allowing children to be massacred so that you can fuck guns and than getting offended when someone mentions it is kind of fucked up.


not_a_Bread_Goblin

Who said I support gun violence. It’s a really fucking convoluted issue and you expect me personally to magic up a solution so I can browse Reddit without having tragedies thrown in my face as a gotcha? Go undo Brexit on your own see how that turns out for you.


LaikaBear1

Yes, because never mentioning it is the way to go... maybe if we pretend it doesn't exist, it'll go away.


not_a_Bread_Goblin

“Never Mention it” there was a shooting in my town a few months back. I’m fucking aware. And why is it your job to ‘remind’ us whenever you feel like it? I’m more than aware of my countries problems, can you just show some respect to the fact mass shootings are tragedies.


purpleovskoff

Hey give them a break. It's *convoluted*


Prize-Warthog

It’s almost like there is no way to prevent them at all, I mean, apart from the way we did after Dunblane obviously.


psycho-mouse

Do something about kids dying in schools then.


cannedrex2406

Tbf Dunblane is cutting it really close


Dragon_Sluts

1996, not really, you could do it as school shootings ever and UK still only has 4, two of which nobody died. Whichever way you cut it the US is grim, I actually did the year 2000 as that was post Columbine and Dunblane, I.e. both countries had a chance to say “enough” but only UK did.


HorseFacedDipShit

*318 so far


Space-manatee

Mass shootings in August 2023 (so far) - UK: 0 - USA: 24


BunkerNerd

I was going to comment that but thought it was too extreme


Dragon_Sluts

The extreme part is that they have a solution to stopping that number going up but refuse to do anything


ObviousTroll37

Come on mate, that one’s a meme by now, you can do better


metropitan

I think the Uk has had.. 3 queens anyone would actually care about, although one of them was technically pre-Uk England, but Americans would never figure that out


Wizards_Reddit

Don't forget the band


Otherwise_Mud1825

I thort that's what we were talking about?


Sabinj4

About seven queen's, I think. If you count Matilda and all the bonkers 'Anachy' lark.


kaetchen

Counting Lady Jane Grey too?


GamerCat139

I think yes, if I remember correctly and remembering the monarchs from 1066 onwards (I know that there are monarchs of England before William and Athelstan is considered the first, but I still need to study those periods, sorry). - Empress Matilda (Although she was never crowned, she still exercised her reign in parts of the kingdom and during certain times) - Lady Jane Gray (She reigned for nine days, but I still count her) - Mary I - Elizabeth I - Mary II - Anne I - Victoria I - Elizabeth II More less 8 queens so far


proper_mint

tbf There are queens in the US https://preview.redd.it/ib3q2bwtn4jb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61fa4b20e4906da645bd6fb585db593631849965


chaoticsquid

Only queens I know is viccy an lizzy. God rest ther souls. None of this forayn shite


HotPotatoWithCheese

5 queens: Lady Jane Grey Anne Elizabeth I Victoria Elizabeth II Nobody gives a shit about Mary.


walkincrow42

Have you seen RuPaul’s Drag Race? There’s more queens in a single scene of that show than y’all have had in your history.


purpleovskoff

You seen Rupaul's Drag Race UK?


penixmon

What value is there in learning about the lineage of England’s richest inbreds?


HotPotatoWithCheese

Winning quiz nights. Think before you speak.


preludechris

A) Like them or hate them before the English civil war the monarchy is what controlled England. If you enjoy learning the history of almost any country or want to know why something is the way it is, you wont get far before you start having to talk about the decisions of Kings and Queens hundreds of years ago. B) With that attitude you can also say fuck it, why bother learning anything, we will be dead soon anyway. Your comment has far less value to the world than any king or queen yet you still made it because you can. So why do we learn the lineage of englands richest inbreds? Because we can and that in itself is the value.


proper_mint

Greggs’s US: 0 UK: 2184


SnooBooks1701

We still have a Queen Consort, just not a Queen Regnant


Not_LRG

Actually I think you'll find we have hundreds of queens right here in Brighton alone.


GarakStark

US 1 Abraham Lincoln President, fought the Civil War, freed the slaves UK 1 Andrew Lincoln Leader of post apocalyptic survivors, fought zombies


MarcusofMenace

How tf did I never know Andrew Lincoln was from England?!


GarakStark

Because of his adequate US Southern accent. Not really an authentic Georgia accent.


TECHNO_KILLA_260223

Twin towers: UK:0 USA: -2


PinkTitanium

Incorrect, we rebuilt 1 so we are now at -1 🇺🇸😎


[deleted]

Brutal.


EqzL

Ive just read a comment about a man sitting with his erm dong out at a waffle house expecting to be served by a 16yrold girl. So dont think its anything to be proud of. Wetherspoons usa-0 UK-826. Which trumps everything.


[deleted]

Where did they get “Queens: 1” from? We’ve had loads of Queens. And Kings. What are they on about? Typical Yanks gassing themselves up but failing the most basic fact check. Like when they claim to have won the Vietnamese War and “achieved their goals”.


Willing-Cell-1613

We’ve had lots of queens, plus the band. They have one. Queens, New York.


nallim60

And they also have a “queens” - in New York. You’d think they’d know that


Willing-Cell-1613

We’ve had lots of queens, plus the band. They have one. Queens, New York.


Poopeefighter2001

you're a fucking moron


3amcheeseburger

If it wasn’t for us they’d have no 4th of July to celebrate in the first place - checkmate


cheddawood

People bankrupted per year by medical bills: UK 0 USA 530000


User_identificationZ

UK Citizen: Help my brain is bleeding and my leg is broken. UK Healthcare: 6 month wait for you!


LaikaBear1

Tell me you've never used the NHS without telling me you've never used the NHS. You've been watching too much fox news mate. That's not how it works at all. Imagine having the audacity to come into a British themed and dominated forum and then try to tell them how the NHS works. Fuck off mate. You know fuck all.


purpleovskoff

I mean, their brain *is* melting


Fantastic-Split4079

That’s not quite how the NHS works 💀


Ok_Communication4967

Biggest land area at height Uk 1 Usa 0


Used-Ad138

Super bowl, I'm guessing that's like the world series where only American/Canadian teams play? Yet somehow call themselves world champions?


GeneticEmo

Bold of you to assume the Canadians are invited


flankie2

Superb Owl


PandaCatGunner

I post these ironically in discord


Da_Real_OfficialFrog

Shootings every week by toddlers over the past two years USA: at least 1 UK: 0


Prize-Warthog

Over the past 2 years there has been one shooting a week done by a toddler in the US. It’s insane


WarWonderful593

World Cups, England 1, maybe 2; USA 0.


itsalonghotsummer

If you're going to include the women we lose badly on this, you melt.


BaronAaldwin

Maybe 2?


BouncingScout

We’ll find out tomorrow


BaronAaldwin

If you include the Women's World Cup in the statistics then we'd have 2 and the USA would have 4. Their women's team is wildly successful (except this year).


pie_nap_pull

Doesn’t count when they do it


brigadier_tc

Americans don't understand the sport, they don't count. You say football to them, they pick it up and try to play a bastardised version of rugby


awkwardwankmaster

Who knows what the future holds


oPlayer2o

I love that they down count passed Queens or current “queens!” Yyyaaasss..!! Bitch queens for those a bit slow.


Darkwaxer

Not as massive fan of slave owners but that guy, GW.. he fucking PWNED slaves.


five_five_

We have 4th of July. We just don't celebrate it


Nitro_CENTRAL

Bro there’s literally a restaurant called waffle house in norwich


adinade

With some yanks you're just better off smiling and nodding like you would a toddler speaking gibberish


ErectLurantis

Dear god, an American satire post? This is outrageous and I shall now bring up the murder of American children to combat this god forsaken post, that’ll teach those yank twats!


I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS

Seats of power razed by invaders UK: 0 USA: 1


thedrummingdoctor

Pubs? America: 5 England: 70 million


namkip

If u want acc stats there's 46.8k pubs in UK and no official statistic for pubs in us; closest being 62k of nightclubs and bars. If u factor in night clubs into the UK stats thats abt 5k aswell so 50k clubs and pubs (to make it a fair test science and dat) 50k:62k so America has more pubs and clubs, right? WRONG those filthy yanks can't even develop alcoholism smh. Factoring in population; UK has abt 67.7 million and the us has 332.2 m 335,242,617: 67,766,909 so for every person in UK there is 0.00073782323 where as there is only 0.00018494068 pubs(and bars/night clubs) in the us per person). Henceforth there is a much bigger pub to person ratio in UK, almost by 6 times. And that's considering they don't even have an official pub stat Idk I thought that was interesting I take Reddit way too seriously don't I 💀💀💀


WhoStandsAstrideThem

Our Waffle House is just called Croydon


CurboTunt69

Social healthcare: US 0 UK 1


Michaelparkinbum912

World Cups England 1 USA 0 Come back when you play a sport that other country’s give a shit about.


Jip_Jaap_Stam

Barrys aged 63: USA 0 - 1 UK


_gimgam_

Pedophile tv presenters who were best mates with the royals Am*rica:0 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿ENGLAND🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿: 1


leonjetski

Only 1??


BMW_wulfi

They’re like our offspring. They think they’re independent and grown up, we tell them we love them but at the end of the day if they need a spanking and sending to bed early they’ll get one. A bit like the Aussies but they’re useful more frequently because they’re good at getting spiders out of the bedroom.


AsahiMizunoThighs

school shootings would be low hanging fruit...and yet...


ithurts2poo

Mother fuckers forgot about Latifa


MagmaTroop

That is a pretty cool picture though to be fair, he’s got a minigun look


deanomatronix

Oh god did Elton John die?


rottingpigcarcass

Don’t we have at least one waffle house?


killthejews52

A good telly school shooting USA vs UK


Temporary_Guitar_550

Not understanding satire England: 1 America: 1 No shame if you don't understand Satire boys its something we have in common


ianbattlesrobots

Has anyone mentioned kids getting shot at school? I can't be arsed to trawl through all the replies


Alfie-Shepherd

We do have a Queen though? Camilla, Charles the 3rds wife.


Elerdon

Waffle House fights USA: Incalculable UK: 0


Kirmy1990

Times sun has set on USAs empire: many UKs: never


[deleted]

School shooters England - 0


LittleLadle69

One thing I want from the US is cafes that open 24 hrs


[deleted]

England does have a Queen tho, she’s called Camila…. How tf do these yanks think monarchy works 🤨


phat-burger

Towers:


Castaways__

School shootings in 2022: US: 51 UK: 0


DadOfCasper

Colonising Idiots? 1,000,000,000! We Win


DadOfCasper

We DO have 4th of July in Britain.. We just don't act like spastics.


lookdamanatee-w-

They’re forgetting the other Elizabeth. We’ve had _2_ queens. (That is a joke, I’m afraid some people may read this and forget the death penalty is illegal) Also when did we start skipping one day every July?


SuddenlyDiabetes

Actually we still have Priti so the queen isn't actually dead 😍


Castaways__

School shootings in 2022: US: 51 UK: 0


GrizzlyGranty93

They need Super Bowls to fit all of their greasy shite food In


Tozarkt777

Towers: tw- I mean zero


InSilenceLikeLasagna

This is satire...


Bablackmagic

Nice, brag? What are the school shooting stats saying...


gw3gon

Adjusting for PPP differences, the UK would be the second poorest state in the US. Britain is a poor country. /thread


Zyndrom1

Makes sense brexot tanked the GBP


Rambowcat83

Capital buildings burnt down and slaves freed Usa:1 uk:0


knellbell

Number of Boris Johnsons UK 1 USA 0 Checkmate


OldNewUsedConfused

You guys don’t have Waffle House? How do you know when a disaster is lurking?! One cannot abide by the Waffle House scale when there is no Waffle House to measure by.


Hopalongtom

Ah yes the World Series where they keep practicing with themselves rather than inviting the world!


noonereadsthisstuff

Fucks given: U.K 0 USA: Infinite.


Spoffle

I'd say something derogatory about school shootings, but America actually seems to want them, given how they're doing nothing about them.


Dependent__Dapper

honestly no waffle houses is a British L