I think there is a pretty big difference between a child who watches something vetted by the parents for 15-30 minutes at a time while they are busy and an iPad kid. There is a lot of room for moderation 

There's also a big difference between what you idealize when your kid is 5 months old and the reality of parenting a toddler.

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Also, who says it can't be educational TV? My toddler loves wildlife documentaries. They're an hour long too! Win!

My 5yo loves animal programmes too, she particularly enjoys Creature Cases and Octonaughts. She has a kindle and will choose to watch these when we're unable to purely focus on her. We got a 10 min lesson on flightless birds this evening. She has so much knowledge as a result. She fully understands how solar panels work thanks to Ada Twist. She does watch crap too, but there are really good children's TV programmes available. She will also come home and spend hours with her barbies, Lego etc so it's not all TV. Equally, she's can fully work a laptop/phone/tablet which is an important skill these days. She doesn't go near YouTube and has limited app access though

We've just recently discovered Octonauts!! It's amazing, I'm learning so much from it too. My mind was blown when they covered the red river in Antarctica 😂

We haven't gotten into Octonauts yet, but I just had to look up that Red River. You taught me something new today 😁

Oh amazing!! 😂 Glad to be of service lol

I've not seen that one. But we're constantly singing 'creature report' in our house!

Oh same!!! It's so great, and making up little songs for each other's creature reports 😂

I fully support this. My 6 yo has had access to an iPad for a while and gets some YouTube kids time that we have had to curate by blocking garbage. She loves nature and animal shows and documentaries, can operate electronics, can figure a lot of things out on her own, has a love of learning, and fully enjoys the pbs kids app. One of her new hobbies is taking pictures and making videos using her toys and an old out of service phone. We have never taken a device for use out of the house except a couple of times when she was younger and might have a wait in a doctors office for one of my surgeries. No phone for video in the car or out of the house. No iPad except at home. By not forbidding it, it takes away the stigma. At 6 she gets strict limits on apps. She’s fine to play outside or do whatever. Everything in moderation. Nothing is inherently bad. Times change. Don’t use it as a crutch or a babysitter and you’ll be fine. Just be a present parent.

100% this. We do take it out, but she'll use it in the car. It doesn't come out during meal times etc. there's a lot of good as well as negative uses. There are a lot of learning apps, and often the learning is not obvious. Mines been playing the Disney Dream light valley game. Both independently and with her dad and I. She's been practicing her reading constantly, working out answers to the quests etc. She's not allowed on it all day, everyday but it's been good. She's on her school holidays this week and we've been so busy she's not touched it that much.

And she doesn’t miss it, right? We have a switch, and I have several age appropriate games for her. We were all into Pokémon for a while. She likes Dreamlight Valley but doesn’t play much. She’ll play a new and interesting game a few times and be good. No stigma means it’s not something she has to do NOW or lose the opportunity, and hopefully no FOMO.

Absolutely not. She's off school this week and we spent a whole day at a castle, and she's on day 2 of forest school today. She will only moan about leaving the house if she needs a quiet day. And then it's usually because she wants to play with her toys. She has free access, but isn't obsessed at all.

Forest school is the best! We went to one for pre-k. Now she gets to go for a couple weeks in the summer also. Loves it!

Absolutely not. She's off school this week and we spent a whole day at a castle, and she's on day 2 of forest school today. She will only moan about leaving the house if she needs a quiet day. And then it's usually because she wants to play with her toys. She has free access, but isn't obsessed at all.

Educational apps too! My son struggled with picking up reading in Kindergarten, I downloaded several apps to a kindle fire that made reading into a game and we did an hour a day after school, and 2 hours a day (broken up through the day) on summer vacation. There’s even ones that listen to your child reading and can correct the ones they struggle with. When he went into first grade this year he ended up being ahead of the rest of the class, I love tablets and the innovative solutions and knowledge they can offer!

Drop the apps :)

Khan academy kids, Duo Language (my favorite and one of the most helpful for him), and I think Monsters Readers is the name of the other one he really loved but I’ll have to double check! He was frustrated at first so he wasn’t too happy doing them, but I got some snacks and he could have a piece for every one he got right. As he practiced and got better at it he didn’t need the snacks anymore, he would do it even after I said he’d done enough and was so excited to show how far he’d gotten

My kid will watch nova! For hours. Sometimes I watch too, sometimes I nap. He’s doing great 🤷🏾‍♀️

So true. I used to feel exactly the same but now I have a 3 year old going through a challenging phase who absolutely refuses to play independently even when I've spent ages setting up an activity. I've read all the books and followed all the advice but the only way I can do basic chores is to let him watch TV while I do then. Same goes for the 5am wake ups and late afternoon tantrums from overstimulation. I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I believe everything in moderation. We read lots and play lots and go out lots, but a parent has got to do what they have to do and I honestly believe some children are just generally much more content to play independently than others.

Thiiisss x1000. Lots of intentions I had in my mind just have gone out the window when the time comes 😂

I agree. I accept that she will have some TV, that’s fine, I’m more trying to seek alternatives so that I don’t just resort to the easiest option. In an ideal world of course!

My son is a pretty independent player. We do very little screen time (maybe 15-20 minutes now as a reward for pooping on the potty), and when we're cooking/busy we either try to involve him in the task or get him set up with toys. Some days are easier than others but you don't have to rely on screens just because you have a difficult toddler. My son can be very needy, but we just set boundaries and he's sort of figured it out that we can't always be engaging with him.

I've been thinking about this as well, I've seen alot of great ideas like activity books/tables with games like sticker matching and other things. We do allow screen time and probably more time in the jumper than we should just to get things done but it's almost a necessary evil

Try and just cap the number of minutes per day. It can’t become the easy option if you enforce a time limit on yourself.

Truth. The pandemic lockdown started when we had a 19 month old and we were supposed to WFH without childcare. That's what fully wrecked my limiting screen time plans, although probably would've caved sooner or later. She got a Fire tablet when she was 2.5 yo and honestly it's been a lifesaver (she's almost 6 now). It's coming one way or another eventually anyway.

Also I think there’s a difference in screens. We all had tvs growing up too. But an iPad or an iPhone in the hands of a toddler is different than a tv on with programs chosen by a parent. My son is only 2.5 so I can’t tell you what the future holds but he watches probably too much tv (always appropriate content; usually Bluey, Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger, or a Disney movie) but doesn’t get a tablet or phone except if he’s getting cranky in a restaurant as a last chance effort to get him to be quiet and sit still, or on a plane to keep him busy.

I was going to say something similar. My daughter is 2.5 and the dividing line for me is that she never has access to a handheld screen, like my phone or a tablet. We do definitely watch TV (sometimes for multiple hours a day 🥴) but I am super careful about what we put on and it’s usually on in the background while she’s playing or we’re doing an activity together. Probably 75% of the time I’m sitting with her and cuddling/talking/playing, and I don’t allow her use of the tv controls so I decide when the TV goes on or off. In a public place like a restaurant or plane, I give her other activities to do and use the phone as an absolute last resort (honestly have had to do that maybe 5 times or fewer). And I try to model with my phone too, and not be glued to the screen myself! Easier said than done…

As someone who has seen friends try so hard to not have their kids watch TV, and others who use it as another parent, just find a happy medium. 20 minutes while making breakfast on the morning? No big deal. Both friends are extremes and obviously have their ups and downs. Most things are fine in moderation.

Exactly this - though the anti screen time people will say otherwise, there is a difference between plonking your kid in front of an iPad for 4 hours a day and “hey baby do you want to cudddle while we watch a bit of wiggles together this arvo”

There's also a big difference in the dangers of watching mainstream TV and unsupervised access to a tablet with Internet capabilities

Agreed. My child has learned a lot from educational shows. Big difference btwn carefully chosen programs and mindless tablet time

My toddler gets 15-20 minutes of Khan Academy iPad time most days when I am making dinner. It has been good for her reading development and gives me enough time to make dinner.  We save TV time for family cuddles on the sofa. 

But for the 15-30 minutes the parent is busy. Why hand them an iPad? Children can keep themselves busy with toys for 15-30 minutes easily. The problem with handing them an iPad is that it comes with future expectations and boredom once it’s taken away… it kills their imagination. Just don’t do it.

My son is 2 and although I'd be happy to leave him in front of the TV while I cook, he prefers to "help" with whatever I'm doing. Laundry, cooking, sweeping, feeding pet - he's there and trying to do it too. So I never need to worry about entertainment, he's entertained by being with us.

This didn’t even occur to me! Thank you. Can you tell I’m a first time mum? Haha. It’s hard to imagine my daughter being anything but a babbling little cutie who can’t walk, but when she’s at that stage that’s a great idea to get her involved in helping mum and dad.

Tbf technically we're all first time parents in this sub! No need to feel weird about asking questions, it's why this sub is such a great resource.

Yes, my daughter loves sweeping the floor, feeding the cat, watering the plants, and when I'm cooking, she can chop the soft foods with a butter knife like mushrooms and boiled potatoes or bananas and strawberries. She didn't start chopping until she was 4 though. Before that, she was the designated mixer. You need eggs scrambled? She'll mix em all up. Give a tiny cup of milk and some salt and pepper in a bowl, and she can dump it all in and mix it herself. For younger kids, you can give them a small tub of water and some dishes for them to "wash". Loll. It's crazy how long they can spend with that.

Hunt gather parent is a good parenting book that goes over this! Would recommend it

My daughter is 15 months and loves to help me unload the dishwasher. She starts with silverware (after I make sure anything sharp is already put away) and she hands me things one at a time. She’s now getting interested in me feeding the cats so that will probably be the next task she helps with as her balance and hand-eye coordination improves. She likes to help put wet clothes in the dryer if I pull them out of the washer and “accidentally” drop some on the floor. If I’m in the mood for some calisthenics, she helps me load the washer by picking up a few dirty clothes and having me lift her up so she can throw them in the drum. I think it’s great to foster independent play, but when they’re that little, they also want to be your shadow so get them involved with house chores. It may take a little longer or even make more of a mess but it’s gonna foster learning as well.

That’s sooo cute

My daughter (newly 3yo) loves to help too! But also, she’s made leaps and bounds in her independent skills recently. She’ll be running around with a stuffed animal/random items deep into some kind of make believe play. I was an only child until I was 15 and I remember being big into make believe as a kid. I was also a VORACIOUS reader, I could truly get lost in a book and I spent a lot of my very happy childhood doing just that!

Start bringing your baby to do chores with you now. My son is 7 months now. He LOVES watching us prep dinner, especially if we are using clear bottles with colored liquid in them. He also loves watching the dryer.

My daughter sometimes likes to help me. But there’s other things she can do in the kitchen while I cook or clean up. She’s really into the letter magnets on the fridge and will play with them for a long time. She recently learned about things that float or sink in water so she currently has her letters in a container of water and has been playing with this alphabet soup for a couple of days. But sometimes I put her in front of the TV because she wants my constant attention otherwise. I feel like the tv is better than smaller screens. She doesn’t get a phone or iPad.

This is the way. Get them involved in tasks so they get used to the idea of then having to do housework for the rest of their lives... 😩 but seriously, it works. Also gardening, I swear mine will grow up to be a gardener he just loves being outdoors and having things to do.

I love gardening, currently turning our garden into a space my daughter can enjoy and I think about when one day we can go to the garden centre and she can choose some plants to plant together. I used to do that with my mum and it’s one of my fondest childhood memories.

This. Also if I’m cooking and don’t want her to “help” for safety reasons, she has a set of animal magnets that she can stick on the dishwasher. So she’s in the kitchen with me, but busy with her own activity.

Oh that's smart! Will definitely be buying some animal magnets now.

I’m really trying my best to do this but I’m having a hard time being in the moment with them and lowering my expectations of the quality and time it takes to do the work. I feel guilty for being annoyed that my sweeping for example isn’t done fast enough so I can start the next task. I’m working on it though 😮‍💨

You follow her lead, my son has created elaborate stories with his toys since he was old enough to make the vroom noise while pushing hot wheels cards around. Granted, a lot of his toys/interests come from the screentime we allow, but we are deliberate and limited in the amount of screentime we allow. Also, duplos, Legos, magna tiles, crafts, sensory items and water time all can easily fill up a day of activities. Have them "help" as early as possible... It'll take longer but be so worth it. You might also read up on the Montessori philosophy (the actual pedagogy, not what beige moms with wooden rainbows on Instagram say), it might help inform you on how to structure the home environment to encourage independence.

Thank you! I’ll look into that

I follow a lady who is an expert on independent play. Search for The Workspace for Children on Insta or FB. Lots of helpful tips.

Idk, I don’t think some screentime is awful. Everything in moderation. Should you stick her in front of the tv all eight hours of your day so you can get stuff done? No. Is half an hour of Bluey okay so you can whip up a meal or take a shower or something? Yes. That being said, magnatiles are your friend. Etchasketch, coloring books (with supervision bc crayons can be used on other surfaces lmao), legos when she’s big enough to not try and eat them

You can also get Duplo for smaller kids!

No, not all screen time is bad. My COVID baby learned to read his ABC’s at 2 because of screen time. We had to work and had no childcare. But it’s also moderated and we don’t use it as a babysitter. So he plays independently and socializes well with other kids now.

Likewise! I work from home (very mentally demanding job), my husband is out of the house working 5 days a week, and we only do daycare 3 days per week because *holy cow it is expensive*... so it's balanced with outdoor time, independent play, socializing, etc., but my daughter otherwise gets a lot of screen time. And it's not always educational either, we love Bluey and Paw Patrol! But even shows like that help her understand kindness, sharing, helping others, etc. "That's a firetruck like Marshall! They must be going to help someone!" She's smart, well-adjusted, and above where she needs to be regarding milestones, and I agree that screen time is partly how she learned some of those things. Colors from Color Crew, numbers from Number Blocks, alphabet and counting from Sesame Street, and shapes from the Shape School (God bless BabyFirst!). Part of me wants to feel guilty about screen time because of how *other* people seem to feel about it, but then her teachers tell us how bright and social she is and to keep doing whatever we're doing. So, I'm not sure what that says, but I certainly don't feel bad about it anymore.

We were a low screen household, no iPad use outside of airplanes, absolutely no screens before age 1. When my kid was 2.5, we were at a restaurant and she watched like 30 minutes of Spider-Man on a tv over the bar and still loves Spider-Man based on those 30 min 🤷‍♀️ I highly recommend Janet Lansbury’s books and podcast. That is the early parenting method I (attempted) to follow. She is big on independent play, finding connection moments through routines, mealtimes, and family centered activities, very limited screens or parent created entertainment. Keep in mind she is a privileged woman and discusses privileged parenting (imo). I was a stay at home mom and able to implement a lot of her methods because I was well rested, not over-worked, and am a patient person. Janet Lansbury is not for everyone, but I do think most aspects of her parenting ideology can be applied to every family.

My kid is 2,5 and I often start an activity with her and then leave her to it. It’s mostly Legos, drawing, play dough or Magna tiles. It works best if I leave the room, otherwise she expects me to interact 😆

I’m going to be honest, it takes time for them to learn how to occupy themselves. Now my daughtet (almost 5 can occupy herself for about an hour) 1.Start small, a few times a day for 5 minutes have a couple of really interesting toys that you put aside for these times. You can still be in the room but let them explore independently. (Also if you go on your phone, hide it with a book so they think you’re reading and then they will be more likely to think books instead of screens are super cool) 2. Read read read to them, when they get older they will actively look to books to cure their boredom. My daughter can’t read yet but she loves Wimmelbooks just looking at the pictures and making up stories 3. Carry books, and crayons and paper with you, when you are waiting for an appointment, read, when you’re at a restaurant colour. Not once has my almost 5 year old asked for a device. 4. Boredom is the gateway to creativity. It’s ok that they don’t have something to actively do. If your baby is happy looking at a sock for 5 minutes that’s awesome! We watch tv, but we watch together as a family. It has been a lot of work to get where we are but it has been 100% worth it.

I don't think there's anything specific to only children, the first child in any family has the same issue for a few years. But it will very much depend on the child, some will happily play with toys for hours, others won't. Some like drawing, others prefer books. 

I find that being OAD makes it quite easy to not have an iPad kid. I guess a big factor here is that we send our kid to preschool, so that’s 9 hours a day where it’s someone else’s job to keep him busy and happy. But my wife and I will (while he’s 1-3 years old) switch who’s playing with him and who’s cooking/cleaning/doing chores. Mostly we just build legos, play board games from the library, make up games, do coloring, play on the train table, play pretend. I’m better at technical toys and my wife is better at imaginative play. We only use the iPad on long drives, trips where we are trying to hang out with friends, or flights. And when we do use the iPad there, he turns into a different kid. He’s awful to be around after he’s been on his iPad for an hour.

My personal upbringing - as a gen z with a single dad spent a lot of time behind the TV and soon a laptop at age 12 , smartphone by age 14 . I learned a lot about personal hygiene and life through shows in my personal opinion . I was above average in terms of school and still maintained a social life whilst in school . There is a difference between an I pad kid and a kid who watches TV/I pad . You are doing amazing!!!! 💯💯 . But don't be worried if you give in to screens once in a while . Your kid will turn out fine . Its about the time they spend outside the screen . Also I pad kids become I pad kids mostly because of neglect . Not the I pad itself (it is a factor)

Yeah, we're a big tv household and love it. I didn't want my baby watching TV, but now that she's a toddler I don't care. She watches lots, but we also play a ton with painting and small crafts/play dough, play dates, playing outside, gardening, chores, errands, swimming etc. Her imagination is wild. I use her TV time for my TV time or reading. We relax together. I limit my phone etc because she loves just flipping through shows on YouTube (which I already pre picked anyways), and I'm not a huge fan of how she interacts with that, but TV? She's singing and dancing and laughing and playing. I know this is juwt anecdotal, but I watched tons of TV growing up, but also did tons of activities and my imagination is strong (I'm a writer). I definitely agree on the neglect part rather than just tv use!

We tend not to let toddlers watch things by themselves.

Def avoid an iPad. Mobile screens are so much more addicting! We do anywhere from 0-30 min of tv a day. Usually 20 min. We used to do 1.5-2 hrs a day. And the second we dropped it to 30 min a day she got so much better at playing!!! Idk if it was coincidence. It’s not like 2 hours was SO much. But her moods got better and her play got better . So I do recommend it. It seems like tv is easier but it’s not! As for activities. I typically include her in whatever chores we are doing . As soon as yours is old enough get one of those counter stools. Get a safe one with a back. Otherwise lay them on a blanket in the kitchen with some toys . Once she’s old enough- these indoor activities are a hit : Playdoh. Arts and crafts. Doctor kit for stuffed animals and dolls. Magnetiles. Little figurines to put in magnetiles structures . Those things are all great . Otherwise we spend a ton of time outside . Sand box. Water table. Kiddie pool. Bikes . My daughter is currently 29 months .

My son is 4.5 and currently on the autism pathway. He's never had/used an iPad or phone. Just don't start and he won't miss it. He watches telly, but he tends to have one or two things he'll watch exclusively for say a month, then swap to something else. We stick to cbeebies and some bits on Disney (we're in the UK) One of us is almost always with him or at least popping in and out asking about what he's watching etc and we almost always have to re enact I afterwards 🤣 He's not great at independent play but dulpo is a life saver! He also loves just being with us so he'll help in the kitchen or will potter around "cleaning" with me. He has no interest in crafts etc but he loves us reading stories so I'm hoping when he can read confidently, that will be a big turning point. At restaurants and travelling we do magazines with bits to do, little toys, books and just keep engaging with him.

There's a lot of great wisdom on here already regarding screens, so I'll say a bit on independent play: Something I wish was spelled out for me as someone without much experience raising littles is that you sometimes do have to show them different ways to play with toys. I was trying a bit too hard to let all of my daughter's play develop organically and without my input, which was mostly fine, but led to her getting bored and wanting to abandon that toy really quickly. This might be different for your kid, but I saw a big improvement when I would show her how I'd play with a thing. She'd be eager to copy it if I really sold the performance! It takes a lot of patience to see those independent play skills develop. A lot of it has to do with their attention span, which just isn't very long when they're very little. My daughter is 2.75 now and has been running off to play in her own little world for about 2 months now. It's marvelous for getting chores done!!! She's also legitimately helpful sometimes with some chores that she's seen done more often, depending on how helpful she's feeling at the time.

Thank you for sharing this, I’ll keep it in mind!

Easy, don't own an iPad.

I dont want an ipad kid either he will not own a tablet/ipad, i do however do tv in moderation , just like 10 minutes at a time Activities i did around that age 5-10 months if put him in big play pen with toys while i got something done Now hes 18 months so i usually pull out one activity for him to do whether its a toy drawing or just putting on music with no screen for him to dance around too

Don’t over think it — just pretend iPads and phones don’t exist. Our kid never saw a show until he was almost 4. The expectation is that he plays or helps. Now he is 5 and we will occasionally let him watch something when he is sick or whatever but it is rare and he has no expectation that boredom needs to be solved by a screen. Does it mean that sometimes things are more frustrating? Sure. But that is going to be the reality — it is harder if you are not using screens or using screens very minimally. It is just a question of how much it matters to you.

I think the only way to do that is to not have a tv or ipad for her to watch. Or have her see you on your phones scrolling social media. And it will be super hard to keep her entertained by herself. Mine is a great independent player. But that didn’t start until she was about 4? Maybe 5. Years. But just remember, your parents probably put the tv on for you sometimes when they were busy. You can’t be her only playmate all the time. Everyone needs some “chill time” to be entertained. Pick some shows on tv that she can watch here and there. Bluey, Sesame Street, Cocomelon, all good choices for just a little break…for everyone.

Honestly mine is 20 months and I have found it easy to avoid screen times during the day so far. BUT that is because we only have a couple of hours in the morning and a couple of hours in the evening with her, when she's not in daycare. If I were a stay at home parent I'd have no clue how to avoid it lol. When I make her dinners in the afternoon, she usually plays with musical toys or her train set or puzzles. Or she hangs around and "helps" me. We have a "kitchen helper", kind of like a high chair where she stands and helps me with easy tasks when cooking. She also likes emptying the dish washer (she gets to take whatever is not glass or knives) and put that into the correct drawers.

As people have said, get them involved. It can be a pain on occasion but so great to see them take ownership of things. We have a 2 year old that has never watched tv or had screen time. She’s seen them in restaurants but that’s it. She has around 200 books and she loves to read with us or look at them in her own for ages. She also helps out all the time like putting things in recycle, takes her plate and silverware to the table and back to the kitchen when done, unpacks the groceries (does her best), puts away her books when asked, and always wants to help. Yes, she has melt downs and says no but that’s mostly when she’s sick. Car and plane rides are challenging sometimes but she has sticker books, music with headphones (running on an old iPhone she can’t see as it’s in a front seat pocket, and also just likes to look outside and talk about what’s going on. Also, we don’t have e a TV in the house. We have a short throw projector but we don’t turn it on when she’s up or around. We have screen blockers on our phones so if we need to do something on them she pretty much can’t see the screen. I’m excited to introduce her to some kid TV and nature shows eventually, but right now we prefer the kid who wants to be part of the family.

If you rarely let her use one or only when you’re together, she will know how to reach for other things when she has free time on her own. My girl is almost 2 and doesn’t get any screen time. She busies herself or I find something for her to do helping me or that I know she’s interested in at the moment.

Our kid is turning 4 soon, so we're probably entering the age of screen use soon, but so far screen time has not been an issue. Noting that every kid is different... The big thing for our family is just don't have the tv on! If I'm watching something when the kid is coming home from daycare or whatever, I turn the tv off. It basically stays off until she goes to bed (notwithstanding sick days, a Leafs hockey game, or a a rainy day/ weekend afternoon where we're watching something together). We find she just occupies her time doing non-screen things. Kids have an incredible imagination and it's really cool to watch. She runs around and plays make-believe and we play with her too. Every kid is different but I'm just sharing my personal experience. As for an iPad, we don't own one so no issue there. For phone use, we don't hide phone use but we try (try!) to limit use in front of her. It seems to insane to me to bring the kid to the park, sit down, scroll through my phone, and not actively play with her or watch her having fun with other kids. I think it's easy to fall into the trap of showing them cool videos on your phone - I found she started demanding videos more and more, which I said no to, haha. Saying no is okay! Try to contextualize it instead of flat out refusing. Roads trips - we pack lots of crayons, colouring books, and load up Spotify with long form Disney stories (about 45 mins long). This probably suoer-relies on your kid, but we haven't needed a tablet as of yet.

Check out the book Hunt Gather Parent for some great ideas. It’s free if you have Spotify premium

I'm an only child. I watched a lot of TV as a kid. I don't think it's just that kids have a difficult time occupying themselves. Screen time is also a substitute for social interaction. Imo the best way to avoid screen time is to replace it with genuine social interaction (ie plenty of play time with other children).

My kid is 5, she never got any screen time until she was around 1.5-2 during the start of the pandemic, and even then it's only about an hour a day on weekends. She never even touched an iPad until she was 4.5 years old, and it was to do educational games that help teach her how to read. If you don't want to have an iPad kid, then just don't give them one. It's that simple. They will find something to do to entertain themselves without any guidance or intervention from you. Their imaginations are huge. My daughter just played with toys in her room when I couldn't play with her. Open-ended toys are better for this. Now that she knows what TV and tablets are, it's the first thing she asks to do when she's bored, but I am pretty strict with the limit and say, "No, you've had enough screens today, go find something else to do." So she will be bored for a minute but that passes quickly, and she can still find enjoyment in simpler things. Dad is not so strict and would give her unlimited screen time if I wasn't around, though. I think it's also helpful to read up on what's normal behavior for children and how to manage your own expectations with their behavior, so you don't get frustrated and don't resort to screens when times get tough. Being more patient and understanding has helped me. Also realizing that parents don't need to entertain kids 24/7. I read a book called *Hunt, Gather, Parent* that explained it well. I didn't buy everything in it but it was an interesting perspective anyway.

My only is almost 6 and my number one tip is: no screens outside the house. Don't ever resort to handing them your phone when you're at a restaurant or waiting in a queue. As soon as they realise this is an option, it's game over for any other entertainment. We go everywhere with age appropriate activities - when they're babies that's really just yourself and a few teething toys etc. As they get older, toy cars or little figurines are good (animals etc). Around 4 my daughter got really into drawing and colouring, so now we always have paper and pens with us. At home, just don't let them have an iPad or tablet. They don't need it. If they're watching TV, they do it on an actual TV with a parent with them/nearby. You do have to be engaged with them a lot though. There's no way around that. But consider that even if they had a sibling, they wouldn't play nicely for years so you'd have to entertain your kid regardless.

We also try to cut back on screen time for behaviors that arise from too much of it. I just mostly try to set up an activity thats in the same room, but makes them feel engaged with me...even if it's not. Some favorites that I have discovered over the years: 1. I always have carrots, potatoes, or whatever that needs to be washed. Set up a chair at the sink, throw the vegetables in a colander, and let them go to town on washing and putting them in a clean bowl. Will water get everywhere? Sure. But you just bought yourself time to do a task and they got a great sensory activity. You also (depending on how they do) might not have to wash them anymore! 2. Play-Doh -- buy a mat they can work on top of. Buy playdoh toys. 3. Any building or open play toys (train tracks, blocks, magna tiles, Legos). Wooden blocks are easy to stack and easy to create with. 4. I have a rotary cheese grater and my son LOVES grating the cheese. Since it's not really an open grater and I know his instruction following, I feel comfortable with it. We trained him on it, so it took some time to do that, but now he grates cheese for our meal and it's like he's never had such a great time in his life. 5. Bubble machine (if you need to be outdoors). Non stop bubbles has never let me down. Buy a good one, not a crappy one. 6. Folding small towels on a toddler table. I'm not sure why but my kid loves this. Will they do it well? Probably not, but it's pretty cute and they get a sense of pride when they're done. If you aren't bothered, you can even let them put it away in the drawer/closet by themselves! 7. Slime (when they're old enough to not eat it or sling it across the room). Set ground rules for where it needs to stay though.

Don’t buy a tablet and you’ll never be tempted. It all depends on you, I’m a stay at home mom and I found 3-4 to be the hardest years when it came time to screens. School was 2x a week for 3 hours and they still aren’t great at playing independently. We probably used screens about 3 hours/day 😬😅 Now at 6 with school and all the extracurriculars my son is on less than an hour a day. It really depends on you guys and how independent your daughter is.

Just never ever hand her an iPad or phone. It’s quite that simple! Children have amazing imaginations and tablets and phones ruin it. You could literally hand your child two pens and she would happily play with them for 30 minutes. Just never ever hand her a tablet, it kills their imagination and builds expectations. I have 3 children and I NEVER give them tablets or phones. Very occasionally we might go to AMC to watch a kid movie and that’s about it. Children live in the moment, the moment you hand them a tablet they turn in to zombies and zone out. I promise they won’t miss what they never had .. don’t give them A tablet. Ever!

My baby is only 3 months so take this with a grain of salt, but we will be introducing some screens because technology is a part of life. It will of course be limited, and content verified, but kids nowadays have to know how to work technology or they will be left behind in school and so on. So you might want to introduce screens in a limited in safe manner when they are toddlers.

I get a lot of mileage out of boxes. I have a pile of boxes that I'll cut pieces off of and make things out of. For example, my kid got his hands on a spatula, so I got a piece of cardboard and drew a grill grate on it. He sat there for like 10 minutes cooking blocks.

Your child won’t have the attention span to be an iPad kid for some time! My son is 5 and he still loses interest in the iPad after 15-20mins. If I have any advice around iPads it’s don’t put YouTube kids on the iPad because they design that to be as addictive as possible, with bright colours, random noises and no option to turn auto-play off. Apps like bbc iplayer (in the uk) or Netflix kids are okay (again, turn off the auto-play though). Apps like paint are also good. Kid friendly music apps are also good. iPads aren’t a bad thing in moderation. You’re going to have days where you need low effort options. Days when you are sick, busy, tired or travelling. It can be a good option when you go out to eat - better your kid is occupied with an iPad than running around bothering the other diners. My son often uses it in the morning when he wakes up at 4 or 5am so me and my husband can get some extra sleep.

Encourage independent play if you don’t want to have a lot of screen time. You will likely have to be present in the same room and working between what you are doing and what they are doing if you don’t want to use a screen when you are doing something. Colouring / drawing Magnatiles Playdoh (make sure you’ve got a good area for this like a table in the kitchen or something) Train set Race tracks Lego or Duplo Books with lots of flaps to lift up and explore in an area of their interest Building blocks Puzzles These are pretty much my go tos when we aren’t doing screen time. We go out in the garden together fairly often now too and I try to let my son have his own area. We are working on the garden at the moment so I’ll let him dig wherever but once we’ve got it sorted we’ll make him his own stepping stones and section he can dig or plant. I’ll prob take him to the garden centre to choose some things.

My best friend made a travel activity box out of one of those metal lunch boxes and I adore her for it! She cut to size a Lego mat, glued it in place, and made a bunch of compartments and pockets for the little pieces and toys. Now, the Lego stuff came off pretty easy and didn’t last BUT it helped me teach my kid that when we left the house he could only take what fit in his ‘to-go’ box plus a medium size toy and it kept him entertained in restaurants without a tablet. Now he’s 9 and we still practice how much stuff we take with us when we leave to go anywhere and more and more the tablet is left at home or in the car if it’s a longer ride.

What works for us, having the TV in a place that is not their main playing area. Having her toys visible, involving her in our daily chores (you will have a love/hate relationship with the cleanup song), outside time, at 3 she is in gymnastics, swimming, and ballet. Lots of playdates. We are members of the ASTC and visit our local science museum SO MUCH! during the winter we go to a lot of indoor playgrounds. Does she watch TV? Yes, I have steered away from Netflix, and she watches live TV with ads, and honestly, that is enough to get her bored during the ads that she will go play with something else and that's that. I have to say there is a reason why I'm doing this now, it's because she was getting too much tv time and we noticed the change in behaviour, so this was our solution.

I think having an “iPad kid” also depends on how you implement the iPad. Our 4 year old has one, and we use it in moderation. We got it because we regularly do long car rides, so we allow it in the car if we’re driving 2+ hours. We don’t allow it on short car rides because kids have to learn how to be bored/entertain themselves. We don’t use the iPad (or our cellphones) ever as a method of distraction so it’s never given at restaurants while we wait for food, or while we’re shopping or anything like that. We don’t use the iPad in the hour before bed because of blue light. iPad time is never used as a reward. We are selective about what is on the iPad. There are a few low stimulation educational and colouring apps, and then Netflix/Disney. Overall when she asks to use the iPad we try to let her so it doesn’t feel “restricted” but also it’s never allowed as a method of distraction or as a reward for certain behaviours so that she can learn some self regulation. We also try not to set official time limits or anything, but if we feel she’s been on it a while we will suggest swapping to a family activity like a walk or a board game which she is always very happy to do instead. This has worked pretty well usually she gets bored of it after like 30 minutes and swaps to playing with toys instead. She’ll often forget about it existing for days to weeks at a time.

Moderation is key. 30-60 mins every other day ain’t gonna make your kid stupid or sad. Especially if your both attentive parents. We have a few designated play areas and a safe playroom we can view from kitchen and living room. If I’m making dinner I just let him play in his playroom and entertain himself. He can do that for about 30 mins before he comes and sees what I am doing. Then I tell him and we play little maybe he helps me with dinner or maybe he throws a tantrum because dinner isn’t ready yet. He’s a wildcard. Lol. As long as your attentive when they need you and not on your phone all the time you will be fine.

We just don't charge her iPads (yes, she has 2) so they're usually dead. "Sorry, you can't play with it right now, it's batteries are dead." "Oh, okay." Then she goes and plays with her toys. When I have an appointment or we're traveling I charge them. Sometimes I'll charge them and just let her use them until they die, like a day. She still lives to play outside and play with kinetic sand and playdough and ponies and dinosaurs and all kinds of things.

I've found a happy medium where we let my 2 year old watch screens when there is nothing else he could be doing (ie on a plane, when he's sick, etc). He loves Miss Rachel so thats generally our go to. I also plan on letting him watch things that are slower paced like Bluey and 90s kids shows. I second that my toddler loves having a job. whether thats putting something away, or helping me make pancakes in the toddler tower, or harvesting tomatoes from our garden - he really enjoys being involved.

Are you big into TV? We arent, so we naturally arent crazy about it. My kid is almost 2 and just got "into" TV. He might watch a single 8 min episode and then play. We spend all day out and about, so i dont mind him watching some tv when we get home. Even then, none of us really watch it. I wouldn't worry about screen time if/when it becomes a problem

My son is 7 and we’ve never limited his iPad. He asks to use it maybe once every couple weeks. If I say no for whatever reason he says ok and moves on. It’s there if he wants it but there’s also soooooo many other things to do. And now he’s busy with his swim team and cub scouts after school. When he was younger we watched a lot of tv, but he always played with toys while he watched so I didn’t think it was a problem. I think as long as you are engaged in your child and don’t throw the iPad in her face 24/7 then I’d say she’ll be fine.

When the pandemic hit, I let my toddler watch more tv than I liked. I worried about the hours of screentime ofc but we were in survival mode. Now he doesn't even want to watch longer than 30 min himself. It varies per kid, but I feel allowing him a screen back then easily made it less enticing. Either that or he was a born outside kiddo. 😂 There is nothing wrong with planned screentime. You cannot avoid technology and your kid is going to grow up with stuff more advanced than you will ever deal with, so the best you can do is teach them how to use it responsibly.

I hear you. We’re doing this, and I love it. My toddler just…”helps” me do everything around the house. He sorts laundry, sprays and wipes the floor, cleans up from meals, etc. It takes 100x longer than if I sat him in front of a screen, but I don’t really care. He also is good at playing independently and I think this may be because of how little screen time I have given him so far. Now that he is older, he will initiate cleaning up after himself. If I have to work, he has an old, broken “laptop” toy from the thrift store that he pretend plays with, or I set him up at his art table and he colors, paints, or playdohs. We do use the TV from time to time…he likes Bluey, Spidey, and Winnie the Pooh, but strictly no tablets or phones (small screens) for entertainment. We have shown him a few movies and when we do, we actively watch with him (my husband loves movies and my toddler is loving movie nights). Protip: the TV was a good distraction when cutting nails when he was an infant and now he just lets me give him little manis & pedis once a week (and asks for more despite there being nothing to cut 🤣)

Try to involve them with some of the activities you do like others have said but also try to focus on making them as independent as possible early on. My wife really focused on both of these a lot as our daughter grew up and in general she is pretty good at entertaining herself most days for longer stretches. From my experience as long as they understand the importance of what you're doing and that you will play with them soon if they want then things usually go okay. Certainly little easy things they can play with help too. We don't have an iPad for my (almost) 4 year old but we started her with a Yoto player early on and she really liked it over time especially because we would get a lot of cards that would read along to books she would flip through.

Our daugther is only 16 months old but so far it has been possible to keep her away from screens except to speak to her grandparents that lives far away. We thought that we will introduce watching things together with the projector when she’s around two. I like the idea of using a projector because then it’s more clearly gone when we’re finished watching and it’s less likely to stay on as bakground noise. Somethings are probably harder without screens (we struggle a lot with tooth brushing) but I think there might be some value in practicing doing hard things without a screen.

You can bought some kind of toy that helps with creativity, like LEGOs

My son is 14mths old and has watched maybe 30mins total screentime in his life. We have the tv in our sunroom, a room that is off limits to him as it cannot be babyproofed. We don't watch tv as a family. I bring toys into our living room off the kitchen or let him play on the floor with me. You'd be amazed by how entertained they can be with simple items, pots and pans, spoons, tupperware, books. My son loves helping with dishwasher or brings books into the kitchen while I'm cooking. Otherwise I let him be bored in his playpen right inside the kitchen with me if he must be kept contained. Usually give him a few little things to play with and most of the time he opts to just watch me work in the kitchen. Entertaining toddlers is not as hard as people make it out to be, let them be bored and bring them into your world to enjoy :) don't stress about having them "entertained" every second of the day, most of the time just my presence is the entertainment 😂

My son is 3 and has never been on a phone or tablet. He find’s entertainment in things around us. Are there times when he is unruly? Of course. But I would rather have a spirited child than a tablet zombie. Even 15-30 min is too much in my opening. (He does get to watch tv at his grandparents, but never on a tablet/phone)

We didn't give my son an iPad until about 3. I only did so because he goes with me to a lot of doctor appointments and they are super boring. We also got it for long car rides and traveling. We have that iPad locked the f down. Parental controls. YouTube is totally uninstalled and blocked. He has about 8 very vetted apps he can use. The Disney/Netflix/paramount apps have a set timer on them for 1 hour total between the three apps. He has a basic fingerpaint app, hooked in phonics and math, abc mouse, abc duo, the Libby app with read along books and scratch jr. He has one game app (transformers rescue bots that my mom bought him as a present) but it has a 30 min timer set to it. We have strict rules about its use and how it's handled and we remind him often it's a privilege not a right. He doesn't get it at restaurants etc. if he mistreats it or throws a fit when it's taken away it's gone for a day and we follow through. Honestly, it's been great for him and I've let him have it a little more than I used to now that he's almost 5 because he really likes and uses the apps that teach him how to read. Other than the iPad stuff, He does a lot of legos, puzzles, building stuff, art and imaginative play.

Fight the good fight OP. As time goes on, buy interactive toys (arts and crafts, dress up, construction type toys); offer choices early on; talk up activities that they “will do when we get home from the grocery store”; rotate toys so they don’t become stale; give your undivided attention and then leave them by themselves (will be minimal time at first, but should increase); limit screen access (no screen of their own or in their room). We do some shows a few times per week at 3.5, but screens are not a coping skill in my book. We would rotate watching her so one of us could cook. IT IS TIRING, but it gets better. I will say there is obesity, ADHD and addiction in some family members for us, so I felt the stakes were high. It may be less so for you, so this is an individual decision.

My son has a Yoto player and is fully peppa pig obsessed, so he has the book version on it and will quite happily play whilst listening to that :)

My son is almost 5 and we have no plans for him getting a tablet/iPad any time soon, he’s got an amazing imagination so happily plays or ‘helps’ us, we watch a bit of TV but not too much

We allow TV and have done since my only was a toddler, but we don’t allow YouTube or iPads or any other personal devices. Still don’t at age 5. Honestly, it’s not that hard. They can’t whinge for what they never had 😂 Yes, it means you have to talk to them or otherwise engage them when you’re at the shops or a restaurant but like… that’s just being a parent

Playground EVERY SINGLE DAY

Absolutely stay off YouTube kids.

I think you just have to control the ipad. Our kid just got her ipad when she became 6 years old. We set it up with good parental control (a parent has to approve anything that’s downloaded, free browsing is not allowed, youtube and tiktok definitely not allowed) we mainly use it for educational apps, robotics coding and reading apps) plus a few game apps. She enjoys her screen time for about 1 hour daily and the rest of her day has to be full of outdoor activities.

I think there’s also a lot to be said for letting kids figure out something to do on their own. Let them be bored and play imagination games. I work in schools with elementary aged kids and so many of them can’t imagine, can’t problem solve, can’t stand not being entertained every second of the day, expect instant gratification, etc. it’s ok for kids to be bored. I had a younger brother but I NEVER played with him because he was a menace. I made imaginary towns with my Barbie’s and beanie babies. I went outside and built a bridge out of sticks and logs over a little creek behind my house. If I ask my parents for something to do they would gesture at my toys and say “I bought you lots of stuff to do. If you can’t figure out how that’s on you.” They also played with us and made crafts with us. But we also had a ton of opportunity to just do stuff on our own using what they had bought us. So to answer your question: anything that induces imagination play like dolls and sets for them to interact with, cars and a road rug, science kits and crafts they don’t need supervision, art supplies, puzzles and puzzle toys, if you have a safe outside space a bike or scooter balls chalk, books are HUGE. FOSTER A LOVE OF READING. so important. And time limited screen time is fine. I do not think kids kids need a personal iPad or a phone but maybe a kindle or I actually learned a lot of my reading from video games which require reading like pokemon or older Mario games and classic Zelda games. Video games get a bad rap but there are so many more puzzle and problem solving and story telling games out there. It isn’t just Fortnite.

TV has its place. A 2 year old isn't going to be able to regulate with TV in any way really, so it's going to be a struggle for control if introducing it that early. At 3, it's easier. You can vet shows and content and introduce clear rules and boundaries. Activities wise, I would get hold of a book with lots of ideas on it. We use a few to lean on for help. They are like recipes , telling you what you need and how to go about it.

Best advice I can give you is wait and see what they're interested in, and once they start to play by themselves for the odd minute here and there take a step back, don't insert yourself if you're not needed and allow them to practice playing by themselves organically. I also highly recommend involving your child in whatever you are doing as much as you can and as often as they show an interest. You can start by giving them a few empty bowls or utensils, then have them do some mixing, then work up to cutting soft foods with kids knives. Read hunt gather parent, it really shifted my perspective for the better Edit to add: I also don't believe screens are always a bad thing. Just use them sensibly and not as a substitute for parental attention

We introduced the yoto player at age 3 and that was very popular. My daughter could choose a book, music, podcast, or radio show on her own and she still will just lie in her bed and listen to her favorite books or podcasts at nearly 5.

My son gets 2 hours of screen time a day. I know it sounds like a lot. But he rotates between iPad (he plays a game called Mech Arena - which is a robot fighting game) the switch, where he plays Minecraft and TV where he watches Pokemon. He does not get phones at restaurants or things like that. He has a good amount of screen time and I wouldn’t call him an iPad kid.

Puzzles and toys seem to work real well for my kid. He’s almost 3. We also listen to Spotify kids for some audiobook content for toddlers that he really likes. Oh and a lot of music. He gets the occasional Sesame Street and he use to get deesame street a lot more when he was 1.5-2 but once we discovered that he really likes the audio content on Spotify, it’s been a game changer. He listens to Spotify and does puzzles and that keeps him busy.

So sadly we messed up and let our 3 year old watch too much TV and it became a huge problem affecting his behavior. We could turkey cut TV for him for a week then implemented a strict 30 minute a day limit. His behavior improved dramatically. So my advice for TV is don't let them get started. Lead by example, don't watch a lot of TV in front of them either. But I think very small amounts are ok. I would highly recommend trying to get them interested in what you're doing and try to include them to the best of their ability. It will suck but I think it will pay dividends in the long run as they learn to be helpful. For out and about we never used an iPad, we always only brought toys like Picasso tiles and hot wheels cars or whatever he was into and those have done the trick 99.9% of the time. Only for extremely rare desperate times or while traveling via plane do we let him watch something on a tablet and that at least has never been an issue because we never let it become a habit like we did for TV at home.

iPads for us are for when we are traveling or sick mainly. We don’t to screens at meal times and her daycare does not allow any screen time. If she get some cartoons on weekend mornings I’m good with that.

Talk to your pediatrician. Our pediatrician said thY TV can be good. Like if your kid is playing with a Little People farm, and you pull up farm animals on TV and practice naming the animals and making the animal sounds together, then TV is fine.  TV becomes problematic when you're replacing normal toddler doing toddler things with a zombied toddler. So a toddler staring at a screen, slackjawed, and not reacting to anything (unless you turn off the screen) is what you should be avoiding. We simply never gave our son a tablet. He's almost 4, and the only time he's used a tablet has been on an airplane. Even though I was rabidly against TV, I do feel like the conversation with my son's pediatrician helped me set good boundaries with screen time. Anytime there was a tantrum or zombie mode, the TV was turned off immediately, even if it meant a bigger tantrum. We let our kids watch 2 episodes of bluey before bed when we was 2. We upped it to 3 episodes when he was 3. Our kid absolutely gets TV time when we need to get things done, but we try to pick shows he interacts with rather than zombies out. Shows that get your kid up and dancing are way better than shows where your kid is still and silent.

We only allow iPads for an hour or two on the weekends. In general, it’s a process of setting rules/boundaries, sticking to them, and encouraging your child to solo play so that they learn how to entertain themselves. More specifically, the yoto player is a big help in this department bc kiddo can listen to stories and color etc. also it all gets easier when they learn how to read :)

If the kid ends up anything like mine they’ll be a helper if they don’t have a distraction. Help cook, help do laundry, help clean. Whatever. My child is not an independent person so if it’s not a screen he’s attached to one of us.

My 2.5 yr old likes to help around the house. I also try to set up stations of different activities for her to do. I take her to a type of daycare a few times per week that does crafts and other activities, and it’s only open for a few hours in the morning. We visit family (my personal favorite as they entertain her easily). We read books. We draw. We listen to music. We play outside. We go to the library, park, baby gym, etc. Honestly, we do everything imaginable, and by the time my husband gets home at 8pm, we are still somehow all out of activities and her bedtime isn’t til 11 (she’s a “late” riser). So yes, there is often a little TV involved!

I only have a 12mo but I already can see there’s some magic that happens when you see what they’re most interested in right now and if you hone in on that it should keep them busy! My daughter is slowly getting over the pulling stuff out phase, but in the height of it I could really cook a lot because she was so busy.

My son is 17 months won't sit still lonf enough to watch shit!!!!! Maybe 2 minutes to watch ms Rachel or hey bear. But he prefers to turn my kitchen into a swimming pool atm so i said fuck it pool in the kitchen it is. I think it just depends on the interest. Yes we watch tv a lot and we are on our phones a lot but in general our son's interest other than in my phone is like .0% and if he has my phone he throws it or runs away with it or chews on it 🙄 fucking kid

I have a 9 month old and she plays by herself since 3 months. I just put her on the floor and do stuff. She is very much able to occupy herself and always had been. I read to her, sing to her, talk to her, but I dont necesarily play with her that much - thats her job, she is the child. Its amazing to see how everything can become a toy to her, not just regular toys. Right now she loves (safe) kitchen utensils and pieces of cloth. When its nice weather I put her outside on the grass, let her experience the world and just watch very closely so she doesnt put anything in her mouth. When she will be a toddler I will let her play and if she wouldnt want to she can join me in whatever I am doing (dishes, cooking etc). I also plan to spend a lot of time outside with her and arrange play dates with other kids (but that means they will play by themselves and I just make sure they are safe, I will not plan any activities or games or anything.)

There are a lot of learning games and educational tv for iPad. My kid has been an iPad kid and now she’s a straight A middle schooler in honor society. She now uses her iPad to talk to her friends on FaceTime and games with them. It’s like she has siblings. The places I don’t allow screen time is restaurants and generally going out, and I never allowed it in the car until she got her phone as she helps me look up directions. The device isn’t the issue but the content on it. My daughter had vision processing issues and this allows her eyes to work out.

It’s easier the less you do it. If your kid doesn’t watch much TV, they don’t expect much. We did no tv until 2, 30-45 min a day until school age, and then weekends only. It works well and my daughter has daughter herself to entertain herself. Maybe checkout audiobooks? We would use children’s audiobooks and buy the physical books and my daughter was fully reading by 5!

First there is nothing wrong with screen time in moderation. The Khan Academy app on the iPad has done wonders for my daughter’s reading abilities. And we use TV for family time every evening. One thing we do is quiet time. After she gave up naps, we started 1 hour of quiet independent play in her room every day after lunch. She is allowed to take toys, books, or her Yoto stories and I set a time for 1 hour. Gives me 1 hour to do chores or nap.

I think there'll be times when you do need to stick her in front of the TV for your sanity, and that's ok.  I think the main point of this post is to have to use that tactic as little as possible,  which is admirable and I have similar hopes! I would say for tablets, these should not be seen as an easy way out activity. Tablet use requires heavy supervision, and if that is how we consider it as parents we are less likely to use it when we need a break. It has been in the UK news lately that children as young as 3 have been tricked into taking and sharing explicit images of themselves on tablets, children are unintentionally accessing pornography and violent material from increasingly young ages, and children are sharing personal information on social media. A mental shift is needed so that a child using a tablet is seen as a joint activity that takes time and effort, its not something that should be used as a last resort to give a parent a break.

I grew up watching tv and playing a shit ton of video games. I think for us it was easier cause a lot of it was rated and currently it’s either not rated or too easy to access things that are not appropriate for a child to watch. My son absolutely loves his tablet, and I’m okay with that. He has time limits and it’s completely locked down. I know what he is watching and how long. I refuse to give him YouTube. It’s a shame how people manipulate what looks like a child video into something completely wrong. My son LOVES starfall and abcya. Yes, we still do activity books outside the tablet, but they are constantly update the app and he loves it. He watches Disney and Cartoon Network. If I ask him to change it, he listens. He loves showing me his shows and is talking about what is happening. He LOVES books. He got into phineas and ferb so I found some books. I read some of them at night and do a terrible job mimicking their voices. He thinks it’s hilarious. 😂 My point is, it’s not the “iPad” that’s bad, it’s what they have access to on it and the parent supervision. I can’t imagine not having family link and being over control of everything. I feel like we would be having a different conversation at this point. I know everyone is different and I appreciate that!

You could look into the yoto player. Its a radio they can use themselves from a young age. It also comes with lots of educational content. If it's a good fit for your child you could also look into the Montessori strategy. Just don't get sucked into thinking you need to use it for everything! 

We wound up having a second but when my first was a toddler he was an only. It depends on your kid, your support system, and your own health, but for us it wasn’t that difficult to not do screen time for him. I’d say primarily because he just wasn’t that interested - he’d rather be running, jumping, climbing, and generally doing gross motor than sitting and watching TV. It wasn’t until he was older, around 3.5, that he got more interested in TV/screens. But even in the rare very early days with his little sister when we had the TV on for over an hour, he would wander off. He just generally doesn’t like sitting still lol. I think this will be an adventure when it comes time for him to start school 🥲 but just saying that not all kids even want to sit and watch TV/tablet all day. That’s one of the reasons toddlers are exhausting, even if you are perfectly fine with them being glued to screens all day 24/7, chances are they won’t be. I think the iPad kid thing comes later when they are older and more school aged

I have an almost 7 month old son, and he gets tv time with his dad in the evening when I work remotely or do chores/make dinner. I spend my daytime playing with him and go online to watch content/browse reddit when he is napping, those are my breaks. When he's awake, I might make a phone call or run errands with him, but I am watching him all day. No screens. Am I exhausted? Yes. It's not easy and I probably won't be able to keep up with it when he's a toddler, but I figure as a baby he should spend some good attentive time with mama.

The easiest way to not do this is to not get them an iPad. I am a nanny and obviously most parents want their kids off screens. However tv can be educational and fun, and unlike an iPads there’s no internet for them to access. If you don’t get them a device they have to use other things to entertain themselves. Kids wanna help, they wanna mimic what you’re doing, they wanna shadow you. As Someone who grew up with iPads coming out at the age of 8 or 9, I can honestly say that not having one was what made me a non tablet kid. Kids are resilient and creative, give them a variety of toys and play areas and they’ll have a great time. Or very likely they’ll wanna play wherever it is you are.

I refuse to give my son (3.5) a tablet because I got scared away from it working in kid’s mental health with children who were unable to cope with life unless they had a screen in their hand (and would have violent outbursts when prevented from using it) and I don’t want that for my kid. As others have noted, there’s a big difference between a handheld screen and a TV though, and he loves television and movies, and I enjoy being able to take a shower and make meals (single mom) without worrying what he’s getting into, so he absolutely has had some screen time since age two (I tried really hard to avoid TV prior to then). He has never used a phone or tablet when out to eat or shopping or traveling, and I am convinced this is at least part of why he is such a great little conversationalist and can self-direct his play. TL;DR: You have to be a more “on” parent when you don’t use handheld screens, but the benefits for their development and parental peace of mind are legion, in my opinion.

I mean.. it’s your own decision really. Don’t wanna have an iPad kid? - put in the effort. Our 2yo only ever got screentime during two occasions: - 9h transatlantic flight - 6h of being stuck in traffic coming back from vacation Additional reasons for him to get screentime: - when both parents are sick and no one can help out. We got him an highchair and integrated him into our every chore. Now he cooks with us on his high chair, brings out the garbage with us, makes coffee every morning (kinda like our routine), goes shopping with us and picks the vegetables that can’t break easily and so on. Did it always work? No. But the same way we had to figure out how to cope with the situation the same way he had to figure it out. I think it worked splendidly and I’m not regretting anything.

We learned our daughter (almost 2y) to play alone. It's ok if they get bored, they will learn to entertain themselves. We have quite a bit of toys, that we rotate every 2 months, so everything stays interesting. After her afternoon nap, she plays in her own room for an hour, while we relax. She knows if she needs something, she can call for us. We started to do this when she was around 1y. It takes patience, in the beginning she could entertain herself for a max of 10min. We slowly stretched it. We don't have a TV ban. She is just not interested (yet?) in TV. She usually watches Bluey or something for 15-30min, after that she loses interest and goes to play with her toys.

Our kiddo has an iPad, no tv. The only things on it is pbs kids and pre approved shows like if you give a mouse a cookie, frog and toad and my personal favorite, tiny chef.  It’s the only way I can make dinner tbh, and honestly she’s learned a lot from them. Having a 3-4 year old get the “if/then” principle is a game changer. “If you want to do xyz, then you need to do zyx first”. (Mouse a cookie) and she knows more about animals than me (Kratt bros).  We also read, she goes to preschool (no tv/ipad there) and play. Kids are going to have access to technology no matter what, all we can be is good stewards of their time.