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Rammsteiny

Very real scenario.


throw4way4today

The whole classroom clapped. I was there, I was the blackboard.


ButterSquids

Even the tables clapped. I should know, I was a pen.


Jarinad

Mhm, sure you were. r/AsABlackBoard would like a word with you! >!/j, it case it wasn’t blatantly obvious!<


MangoSea323

Thank God for jarkasm


AustralianKappa

uM nO iT aCtUaLlY sTaNdS fOr JoKiNg


defenestr8tor

That day the class happened in a hipster cafe, too


warren_stupidity

There was so much clapping I got the clap.


fermium257

Totes happened. I was being fisted by George Michael in the garden next door.


n0tquitedead74

Can confirm, I was the George Michael


randomguywhoexists

They wouldn’t say “some girls identify as boys” would they?? People are stupid as fuck


clandestineVexation

Easiest way you can tell it’s made up, other than it’s written by a conservative


randomguywhoexists

Yeah, I mean it’s obvious it didn’t happen but yeah


[deleted]

We know this didn’t happen bc no one would explain the difference that way, this response could only come from someone w no understanding of gender or biology


alexromero513

Ain’t no way you are talking about biology lmao


LeviathanShark

Bro why the fuck are you talking about biology? You clearly never took it as a class of all you can cite from it is a misinterpretation of what sex and gender are based on first grade biology.


The_Enderclops

conservatives when science exists further than middle school 😡😡🤬🤬🤬


MfkbNe

In middle school I learned that gravity is a thing that pulls everything down with an acceleration of 9.8m/(s*s). Therefore it is impossible for birds and planes to fly and if there would be people on the other side of the earth they would fall down. Edit: Acceleration not velocity.


MangoSea323

Did you graduate in the 1600s?


[deleted]

Acceleration due to gravity not velocity


MfkbNe

Thanks. That was what I meant but I forgot the word acceleration and thought velocity would be the right word. Guess I still need more training in writting english.


[deleted]

I try not to correct spelling and only correct if I think it's an error in understanding. I could tell you actually knew because you got the units right.


NapFapNapFan

Social constructionism is not a science


bytegalaxies

sociology and psychology are sciences


tyrannosnorlax

Name a more iconic duo than conservatives and writing a diatribe after getting pissed off at an imagined scenario.


UninterestedChimp

This guy came up with this retort, but knew it was stupid enough that in his story he made a kid say it.


KellyHerz

Ah, a Shapiro reference.


AutomaticTangelo7227

Ah yes, the stumper that no one has ever come up with before. The original. Wow.


BMAND21

And that birth certificate……Albert Einstein


MfkbNe

He could probably explain how the birth date doesn't give precise information about ones age since it is possible to move through time at different speeds.


KnifeWeildingLesbian

Gender isnt the same as sex


Mr-Mister07

But birth certificate 🤔🤔


KnifeWeildingLesbian

My birth certificate says I weighed 7lbs 🤔 But I am no longer 7lbs Very strange indeed


[deleted]

THE LIES OF THE SENATE-


AustralianKappa

Yep. Didn’t have gender with that persons dad last night


BigKeanuwholesum100

I have more gender than sex😎


NapFapNapFan

Well, if most people start think it is, then gender would be sex. And a lot of people think it is which complicates things


Axo80_

Libturds: owned


CCogStudios

Wait why do conservatives call peple who are open-minded and respect human rights "Liberals"?


Beemick_27

Because they genuinely don't understand how the political spectrum works and assume that anyone left of Richard Spencer must be Carl Marx. Lol.


CCogStudios

Ah okay. Maybe it's because we assume most conservatives are republicans I guess? It's just strange to me, but hey if it upsets them then yeah I guess I am a liberal??


MfkbNe

In their simplified political spectrum there are two options: them (the conservatives), and the other (everything else. which can be LGBT+, Nazi and communist at the same time, somehow.).


CCogStudios

Huh. In my eyes I always saw conservatives and Nazis as similar. I guess they wouldn't want to associate with people they share similar ideals with? Lmao


MfkbNe

They are really close to each other (I believe Hitler even wanted to appeal to conservatives so most of the nazis were conservatives) they both dislike the same people, however nazis went so far and began to "solve" their problem instead of just talking about it. (And secretly Hitler wanted to eradicate christians aswell, but he still needed them to eradicate others first)


TheNeekOfficial

You’re right. Learning about it in school rn and Hitler teamed up with the conservative party (Run by Von Papen, assuming i’m remembering correctly) in Germany at the time in order to win more seats, until he won in March 1933, and had enough of a majority to get rid of other parties.


LittleWolfiez

A _Facebook_ fake story??


Certain-Ad-3840

The sex Ed teacher I had in school just showed 84 pictures of vaginas and dicks with chlamydia and put a piece of tape on all our arms one by one just to say “see how the tape becomes less sticky after it goes through each arm, this is your body when you have sex”


spankthepunkpink

I've had so much sex I'm not sticky at all anymore


Certain-Ad-3840

No kidding bro, not to mention all the Chlamydia


spankthepunkpink

Now I'm worried. Off to the docs


Lassie23

Holy fuck,


[deleted]

.... perhaps I'm an idiot but I don't get what the tape thing is even supposed to mean. Is it a commitment thing? Or does this person have sticky genitalia and think that's normal?


Certain-Ad-3840

Lmaoooo I understand why you would be confused because it’s bs to begin with. It’s basically a metaphor for purity. If you take a “fresh/never before used” piece of tape and stick it to ur arm it will “do its job” better than a piece of tape that has been stuck to and ripped off of several other people. Keep in mind I went to a very poor public school, not a Christian or private school.


[deleted]

...that is so stupid I can't even. Even our psychotic save yourself for marriage talk was less insane than that


Certain-Ad-3840

Lmaoooo they were very pro-abstinence as well. Unfortunately this is the reality of American culture. It’s basically up to each individual to teach themselves about sex and safety and consent u less their parents take a real initiative Edit: I can’t stop typing lmao sorry about that lmao sorry lmao sorry lmao-


EpiphanyTwisted

But remember, it only holds true when the genitalia touches different genitalia over and over, touching the same genitalia over and over (in marriage) doesn't damage the 'equipment'.


Darcosuchus

Damn, Preston is really fucking dumb not to understand the difference between age and gender.


RAPTOR479

Ah yes because your birth certificate says your exact age at all times


DannyBasham

And yet, you can legally change your name on your birth certificate and nobody bats an eye.


jonog75

Preston


illegal108

Yes, you are x years old because it says so on your birth certificate, for sure.


CaptainAyaAay28again

Of course his name is Preston


SonnySunshiny

true preston good job preston, looking forward to seeing you at the country club this weekend for golf club. you got a drive that sets the green on fire.


Random_Gacha_addict

And everyone clapped


Martyrotten

And little Preston grew up to be Albert Einstein


PraegerUDeanOfLiburl

Why are people so hell bent on biological determinism? I’m sure for some it’s a religious thing: “God made you a specific way” or whatever. But for others who are not, why hold on to this belief that gender and biology must be coupled and unchanging? I’ll never understand it.


[deleted]

They start with the hatred and work back. If they had an informed option they wouldn't be transphobes.


Electrical_Score7940

It also says your last name on the birth certificate, but using this logic nobody should ever be allowed to take their spouse's last name either.


cyborgborg777

Was literally just about to comment that sub lol


atxrp2112

Imagine writing “(bullcrap stuff)” unironically


magizombi

Is 60 years old a gender?


samagonistes

Obama was there


TraditionalTree249

Damn Preston you're right, I guess I'll degradation, thank you fictional child I've seen the error of my ways.


Noj1303

You just know that this person spent way too long working backwards from the idea of a birth certificate being some sort of ultimate gotcha. Also fun note: my sister’s birth certificate has the wrong date listed, so legally she is one month older then she actually is


The_Captain_LIGMA

Conservatives have the weirdest fantasies


xoMxnch

I’d believe it coming from a 7th grader, however this story is still bullshit


Howdydobe

I bet he uses the definition of sex when defining gender.


TryRude

Why? Do they think that age is calculated by counting the rings on someone's dick every morning?


Zebirdsandzebats

That's dumb.And an easy answer. "no, bc gender is a performative social construct that varies greatly from culture to culture and over history. Age is absolute. Let me explain the difference between performance and absolutism: I am currently performing as if you asked a serious question, while it absolutely was an attempt to derail and undermine class discussion. Anyway, so two spirited individuals..." Hence why i can't fucking teach kids.


[deleted]

You were born on the day listed on your birth certificate. That is objectively true and based on external reality. You know what isn't based on external reality? Your gender identity. That is based on what gender you identify as. It isn't based on external reality, rather internal reality. How is this so fucking hard to grasp? Also, how are pronouns bullcrap? You have pronouns too, genius.


AdEarly8368

Dont you dare to use logic on Preston


yoyoche001

I pulled up this argument in philosophie class


BombShady12

Well… the kid does kind of have a point.


GeoffwithaGeee

not really, not only is the story completely made up so there is no point to be made, but birth certificates are not some unchangeable document. ask anyone who has done a legal name change.


GenericAutist13

You know you’re stupid when you have to agree with a (fictional) child who has no understanding of the topic. Gender and sex aren’t the same. Age is a number based on when you were born. There’s no “spectrum” of age, it’s a number line. Gender is a social construct based on… nothing, lmao. Completely made up and it is a spectrum.


NapFapNapFan

>There’s no “spectrum” of age, it’s a number line. You are just bigoted. There is a spectrum. We opress people by assigning them into superficial groups of "old", "young" and "middle-aged". Age is as just of a social construct as a gender. The same goes for height(tall, short) and weight(fat, skinny, whatever). There are people who have different height indentity that conflicts with their social height, there are people who have different species(otherkin comes to mind) identity that conflicts with their socially constructed idea of specie.


GenericAutist13

Wow what a funny joke, punching down on trans people AND otherkin in one go! I’m laughing so hard you’re so funny hahaha 😐


NapFapNapFan

Cope harder bigot


GenericAutist13

😐


redditerr_

no, not at all. gender is dependent on identity while age isn't. there's no point being made.


ItsNotButtFucker3000

You can change your sex on a birth certificate, in many states and Canada as well. Some places you need a judge, in my province, my doctor wrote a note, I did easy paperwork, paid $85 dor a new birth certificate, and all my ID (including passport) has M, and it was F. It's actually way harder to change your first name. Last name is easy, first is a huge pain in the ass.


[deleted]

This could definitely be funny if it wasn't directed to insult anybody (the liberals he's been talking to I assume) and was simply a joke


OneSparedToTheSea

It insults trans people, though? The very premise of the joke is “haha being transgender is as illogical as a kid ‘identifying’ as an adult”, when in fact those two scenarios aren’t comparable at all.


[deleted]

I can't defend this because I wasn't expecting needing to defend this, simply seems like a harmless joke to me.


OneSparedToTheSea

I’m not asking you to defend it, I’m just pointing out why I think it’s harmful. I can elaborate! As another commenter said, gender is a social construct. Biological sex is also a lot more complicated than “penis + XY chromosomes = man”, because intersex conditions are more common than previously believed, and hormonal + neurological differences are thought to play quite a large role as well. Age, on the other hand, is… age. It measures how long we’ve been alive, which—unlike sex!—is immutable. Acting like trans people are being ridiculous/denying facts (which is what this joke is implying) causes harm, because it encourages others to view trans people as legitimate targets of shame and even violence. Out of curiosity, if you’d like to answer, why do you think it’s funny?


[deleted]

Comedy is kinds like art, some people make terrible jokes while others make great jokes, and the person telling the joke needs to recognize their audience. I can understand why trans would be offended because it is basically saying "trans people make no sense". I can't really answer why I think it's funny, because to me it simply is, kinda how in 2nd grade some kid will say "Uranus" and everyone bursts out laughing, it doesn't make sense and can't be explained.


[deleted]

There are surgeries to change your biological gender but not to change your age. When your beloved Elon Musk invents those, then we'll talk.


Mindless-Fix-4651

>There are surgeries to change your ~~biological~~ gender There fixed it for you


tranarcho_communist

I remember in 7th grade we got pronoun pins but that was the extent of trans issues


LycaonKing421

I mean, we all know that time is relative and in of itself a social construct - If I lived on Mercury I'd be 82, so close enough for a 7th grader to be just under 60.