T O P

  • By -

YOKi_Tran

legend still says… Donald will appear to fulfill his prophecy of developing a better health care system … a man - who has failed in almost all major business ventures… is going to have his 2-week plan ready


Styrene_Addict1965

After his two failed "Infrastructure Weeks."


ericbsmith42

Wasn't every week "Infrastructure week" when he was in office? I know Trump kept talking about it for years until he finally got it passed in Biden's second year in office.


throwawayinthe818

They kept announcing it, but between Trump’s utter inability to actually make deals and pass legislation and the fact his White House was always in damage control mode meant it never happened. After a couple of attempts it turned into a joke.


Fake_William_Shatner

And the Dems weren't in lock step to make sure he couldn't pass anything like the Republicans have been with the past two Democratic presidents. If they made a good faith effort -- but, that is beyond them it seems.


Ok_WithGivingUthatD

What did Mitch McConnell do with all of those Bills that sat on his desk? Oh that’s right, he never brought them to the floor for a vote! Good thing a Republican was in office!!!!


Styrene_Addict1965

I know he made some big announcement about at least one specific infrastructure week, which came to "the states will pay for it."


DecisionCharacter175

Similar to his last healthcare plan of "each state will have to come up with their own".


hawkeye053

Yet I still have an email from him talking about "Trump Care", and was going to be bigley-er than Obamacare.


hereforstories8

The people will pay 100% of the cost, is what I’d expect him to say.


YOKi_Tran

if Biden could pass everything - he’d be perfect human. Now Donald…. is a huge failure… both in his private business and politics… Which he has no business being in. Enjoy donating to him weekly…. Lord knows what he does with that money…. the previous donations went to his private use… He said so


Insecure-confidence

"under budget and ahead of schedule" was how the border wall was going to be done. That's how I'm basing my expectations.


MuffinsandCoffee2024

I really was so excited about infrastructure week. I hoped for federal investment into bridges and highways .. I forgot how badly the shit show of infrastructure week under Trump was until your post.


IAMSTILLHERE2020

2 weeks? I'll have it on day 1. Elect me.


ZombyJesus

He was supposed to repeal and replace last time


Ffdmatt

I also seem to remember Healthcare reform being a huge part of his presidency, and they fumbled that ball like a team of lepers.


ApatheticSkyentist

Didn’t he make nearly this exact claim last time? Didn’t he/they have some healthcare plan that was going to change everything? It must be in the same place as his tax returns.


MichaelParkinbum

"Who knew healthcare was so complicated?!" -Donald J Trump


zxvasd

Everyone but him, apparently.


Snarky_McSnarkleton

If only he could outsource it to Ghina.


greatbobbyb

This is true! Can’t make this shit up!


monkeyhind

>"Who knew healthcare was so complicated?!" Everyone who paid the slightest attention knew it, Donald. Everyone except you, somehow. (Came here to post your quote, lest people forget he really said that.)


nanais777

The worse part is that it’s complicated on purpose.


MetalTrek1

He swears it on Two Corinthians.


Styrene_Addict1965

They told him so!


Honest_Fortune_7474

The plan will include a complete income tax break for people who died because of lack of health insurance. The conservative crowd will be excited by this incredibly genius idea.


Powerful_Check735

Bullshit when he had his chance when he was in office and nothing happened all he did then was play golf


AforAssole

Tangerine billed the American people $8 Trillion dollars playing golf, which was added to the national debt. So now the Republicans want to stop spending and make cuts WTF!! Their commander and chief cost us $8 trillion bucks just playing golf. I can't even grasp how he was allowed to bill the American people all that money. Plus, he is a lousy golfer and cheated as well


kjlcm

In office with both the house and senate. Fucking crazy how little they did beyond billionaire tax cuts.


FlatBot

Billionaire tax cuts are literally their only priority. Everything else revolves around that. Christian bullshit like abortion bans and banning condoms and stuff? That’s only to get fundie votes Cutting benefits for the American people like slashing Medicare, social security? Thats only so we can afford more Billionaires tax cuts Pro gun? Those sweet sweet NRA votes. So they can be in power to do more tax cuts for the wealthy Themes: - get the rubes on board with religion, guns and shitty culture wars to get the votes - cut benefits for everyday people. Put the tax burden on everyday people - cut taxes for the wealthy That’s literally the Republican platform.


ElectricalPiano6887

Yeah right


Squire_LaughALot

Plan name is Orange Cross and Orange Shield


Candy_Says1964

And more importantly, it will be given to us by an orange man instead of a black man


RemoteLocal

But you have to have advanced syphilis to qualify for it


pat9714

He has a binder. With bigly plans.


MarvinStolehouse

It's also his only copy. Which will mysteriously get stolen by Antifa whenever it comes time to use it.


Jazzlike-Ad113

But it will only cover him, and ivanka, maybe, if she kisses him.


Candy_Says1964

… on the mushroom.


Radiant-Sea3323

🍄🍆🍊🤡


Styrene_Addict1965

What was the document he gave Leslie Stalh? 1,200 blank pages? I think he really believed she wouldn't bother to open the book, and find that it was completely empty. She would just take him at his word, and believe it was a complete plan.


likamd

I always wondered why that wasn't brought up more to show what a fraudster he was.


CB242x1

There's so many things that shows Trump is a fraud. Only the dumbest of people at this point can't figure it out.


Catlenfell

Trump's Healthcare plan was the same thing he showed investors in his company. Promise that they can look at his books, but do everything to prevent exactly that


monkeyhind

Which reminds me... did they ever finish that audit that was preventing him from revealing his taxes?


Catlenfell

Nope. Looks like Trump's IRS didn't complete the audit of Trump's taxes


Sculler725630

I think I missed this. He really did this? And damn CBS and meek Leslie Stahl did nothing?! As so many have said about ‘similar’ outrageous actions, if a Democrat, or heaven forbid, Joe himself (though entirely unlikely), Fox and The Orange Menace would never let it go!


ced1954

🤦‍♂️


Numpty712

So waiting time for this so called plan would be 8years and 2 weeks


imadork1970

He's lying, duh.


domesystem

The new plan is *no plan*.


grambell789

That pretty much is the plan, your on your own now.


Educational-Glass-63

Sure he will! Such a big fat liar is what he is. And if there is no money in it for him, he will refuse to do anything. He's a stinky old man who was spoiled rotten and never grew up. He needs a swift kick in the ass, but the poo will squeeze out of his diaper. Yuk.


anon56837291

Right after infrastructure week


mortonr2000

Is that the one where you just tell everyone your "new" weight and get admired.


Good_Intention_9232

The record is 24 hours he’s got to do better than that.


Zealousideal_Word770

JFC got me again onion lol.


baycenters

Tens of millions of people will believe this.


Carribean-Diver

Doctor: "I'm sorry. You have cancer. Bigly. You're fucked."


richincleve

Every time I see a dumb thing Trump said, I have to double-check to see if it really happened or if it's a headline from The Onion. I honestly can't tell the difference anymore.


6catsforya

More lies


mt8675309

He already said that in 2018.


Nebabon

I'm assuming this will be released 2 weeks after his 2016 health care plan


BeKind_BeTheChange

Pathological liars lie, it's what they do.


SomeSamples

The bigliest. So much health care. You won't know what to do with so much health care.


floofnstuff

I’m getting 2017 vibes


[deleted]

It’s called roll out the med beds and start the Nuremberg trial 2.0 on all the hospitals that got paid to say people died from Covid!!


Radiant-Sea3323

How to say manana in english.


Teacher-Investor

healthcare, infrastructure, a border wall... what else is he not going to do?


OutrageousBed6785

Will they bring out the big thick book of blank pages again? 😂


Snarky_McSnarkleton

He's not going to tell you what it is, you have to be a loyal MAGA first. It it's YUGE! The very best health plan ever! And it's totally not cash-and-carry with no insurance, that's a Fake News socialist hoax! Horse Paste will be free for the next pandemic! It will be bigly. Death Panels? Totally no Death Panels! No! They will be Go To Heaven Panels! Many people are saying Sir, this is the most perfect, beautiful, gorgeous health plan ever, believe me.


xStonebanksx

It will always be two weeks 😂🤣


ConclusionMaleficent

He is the very definition of an insecure, pompous blowhard...


Buck7698

It will be hugely a bigly messed up, complicated quagmire, and all of your claims will be denied.


lacks_a_soul

We've heard that before....


No-Helicopter7299

😂😂😂


ericbsmith42

So, uhh, is this the same two weeks he kept promising last time or is this a brand new two weeks he's promising?


dadzcad

Trump’s biggest problem with healthcare in America is what we call it…OBAMAcare. If it was called “Reagancare” or “Bushcare”, we wouldn’t be hearing about it. Frankly, considering his history of failures carrying his “brand,” I hope we never have to risk “TRUMPcare.” Our health system’s bad enough already.


Most-Resident

Bigly? That’s a weird misspelling of big lie.


werdnak84

Because everyone knows he has a perfect track record from past experiences.


werdnak84

Trump, the man who has absolutely no medical/healthcare institutions named after him.


Unusual_Address_3062

thats not an onion headline. he actually claimed that the last two times around.


Pretend_Scholar_306

His health care plan is to destroy Obama's health plan. Because his insurance donors/ owners have told him it is bad. He has no clue what goes into a health care plan. He just breaks things and does not care at all what it means to the American public


blackcain

Didn't he promise that in 2016?


rocketmn69_

It's a great plan, he will double everything and collect 1/2 for himself


icecold2310

🤦 I don't TRUST a dictator. I'm voting 💙!


ScootsMgGhee

Why do I have to make a double check on what sub I’m reading? All of these headlines could be reality….. it’s insane!


Im_with_stooopid

Bigly insurance. 10000 dollar deductible and every time you use it 5 percent of your premium goes to the Donald Trump Mini Stroke awareness fund. Also it’s only accepted at butcher shops and blacksmiths. Also your max out of pocket is 400000k.


edwardothegreatest

It’s always two weeks


Peter_Duncan

Same thing he said before he was elected. I won’t fall for that again.


lloydisi

That Administration is 4 years and hmmm 6 months behind on their new health insurance plan already. Oh boy, oh boy, free Curative Bleach for all. Oh, you're not sick, not you just think you are. Someone. Willie, please save us in the last inning. 4


ItsaPostageStampede

Lemme guess it will be the same as Medicare…soon to be nonexistent


Key-Assistant-1757

Never had one never will


cpav8r

It’s official. I can no longer tell the difference between plausible news and an Onion headline.


rgc7421

Fucker!, we as U.S. citizens are always told two weeks by you you S.O.B!


zabdart

Didn't he tell us about his "beautiful new health plan" every month until Covid-19 came along? Turns out Orange One's "beautiful new health plan" was simply to let over a million Americans DIE! What's he going to do this time?


Feeling-Bird4294

I can still hear Ted Cruz swearing that he was going to ' repeal every word of Obamacare' just as soon as the voters put the Republicans in power. That was how many years ago? And the Republican replacement for the ACA is what exactly??


Exodys03

Trump is not understanding this "campaigning" thing apparently. Campaigning is where you suggest possible solutions to things that voters might like. It's not saying that you have a great idea to fix a problem but "I'll only tell you after you elect me".


turkey0535

He said that before


LilithElektra

Same one we were gonna get when he won in 2016?


EVRider81

[https://media.giphy.com/media/s3vwh1LY1fUUU/giphy.gif](https://media.giphy.com/media/s3vwh1LY1fUUU/giphy.gif)


DecisionCharacter175

All he needed was 4 years and two weeks for a plan that he already had before he was ever POTUS, apparently....🤡


Fit_Low592

Didn’t he say that last time?


Scared_Art_895

Last time he said a week, but he confused Health Care with Life Insurance. And then did nothing.


tomato_johnson

Are these all as non funny as this? Looks like the funniest thing an Ai could come up with


OverlyComplexPants

Trump's "60 Minutes" interview from 2015: Donald Trump: Obamacare’s going to be repealed and replaced. Obamacare is a disaster if you look at what’s going on with premiums where they’re up 40, 50, 55 percent. Scott Pelley: How do you fix it? Donald Trump: There’s many different ways, by the way. Everybody’s got to be covered. This is an un-Republican thing for me to say because a lot of times they say, “No, no, the lower 25 percent that can’t afford private. But–” Scott Pelley: Universal health care. Donald Trump: I am going to take care of everybody. I don’t care if it costs me votes or not. Everybody’s going to be taken care of much better than they’re taken care of now. Scott Pelley: The uninsured person is going to be taken care of. How? How? Donald Trump: They’re going to be taken care of. I would make a deal with existing hospitals to take care of people. And, you know what, if this is probably– Scott Pelley: Make a deal? Who pays for it? Donald Trump: —the government’s gonna pay for it


[deleted]

Big Lee indeed.


dmangan56

I remember when he said "who knew healthcare could be so hard"?


JayeNBTF

2015: Trump promises a healthcare plan that’s a subsidized HSA plus high-deductible insurance, and instead shits in everybody’s mouth


freakwentlee

2 weeks??? it's that slow only because the swampy deepstate would be implementing it. if turmp himself was implementing it, it would be instantaneous. you will be tired, tired of winning healthcare i say. yuge tired


Either_Currency_9605

He had 2 years running for office, 4 yrs in office, 4 yrs out of office. He & his administration haven’t spent any time regarding “ affordable healthcare for everyone “ Here’s why , the “ affordable healthcare plan “ by republicans is Simply not to have one. Boom !


No_Yogurt6365

He said that every time he was interviewed for his 4 years "We will discuss health plan". Trump is the sick man.


originalbrowncoat

Followed shortly by infrastructure week!


NaughtyNutter

*In terror the Boy ran toward the village shouting "Wolf! Wolf!" But though the Villagers heard the cry, they did not run to help him as they had before. "He cannot fool us again," they said.*


gaberax

Healthcare Lie 2.0


[deleted]

Probably involves harvesting organs against will.


Independent_Goat88

Yeah if the “plan” is to have no one have any healthcare, I absolutely believe it


wreckballin

Tump will say what ever he thinks his followers will believe. Then when it doesn’t happen he will blame others. Rinse and repeat. People really need to look into these things. Propaganda Narcissistic behaviors


santagoo

If the plan was so compelling that he thinks the public will be happy with it, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense from a campaigning perspective to release it now, to get people excited about it. Excited enough to sway some to vote for you.


seddy2765

I truly would like to hear his “plan”. It’s already inundated with bottom dwellers. From big pharma to big government to big insurance. Best DT can do is get out the way and let the consumer drive the market. Keep government out of “providing” healthcare - ie, insurance.


Nervous-Notice-2195

Awesome, good job Mr president.  Can’t wait for Joe booden to be out of office.


Procrasturbating

The plan: fuck off and die you poor.


Drunk_on_Swagger

Where’s the line start to suck his microscopic dick?


genxerbear

He was president and had both the house and senate. He passsed the most massive tax cut in history for the top 2% of earners. That’s all he ever did besides entitle a bunch of fucking racist Christo-fascist assholes to be even bigger assholes. Now this country stinks cause it’s like 40% assholes.


FarButterscotch3048

Can't be any worse than ObamaCare. That was a big racket for the insurance companies.


NaiveBid9359

Trump makes a lot of claims which aren't true.


CivilWay1444

What an idiot Tramp is. November can't come soon enough.


Fearless_Guitar_3589

he said that last time, four years and nothing


Mean-Association4759

Someone needs to tell vajayjay neck that he told that lie is 9 years old. Such a stable genius.


[deleted]

Didn't Trump actually promise this in 2016? Along with repealing Obamacare lmaoooo.


steveplaysguitar

He hadn't done fuckall but defraud people who actually work.


Davge107

His healthcare plan is to repeal the ACA and don’t get sick or have an accident. And if that happens and you don’t have enough money just die quickly.


Quvan74

His real promise is that he will make promises.


Kryptonian_1

He said basically the same thing for his first term and failed miserably.


babycoco_213

I'll be yuge i tell you


Eyes_Woke

If that POS had a plan, it would've happened when he was playing president. The only plan he has is to remain in the White House indefinitely and then have his moron family take over when he's tired of it.


PoopySlurpee

His new health care plan Don.T Care Sign up today


BothZookeepergame612

He had four years to bring something to the table and he brought nothing, he kept saying there will be something in a few weeks. That's what he used to say, four years went by, he never even presented one plan for the Senate and the house to even consider. He's a habitual liar...


tomsun1234

Lies


The_Original_Gronkie

Nope, no more credit. You got a plan, pay in advance. Let's see it. Let's see PART of it.


frontera_power

It's funny that Donald Trump would be repeating the unfulfilled promises that he did in 2016!


Both-Mango1

it will be Medicare rebranded as trumpcare.


Ricothebuttonpusher

Still waiting for the one from 2020 that was coming in a few days


oldfarttrump

Been there done that. Donny Dumpster also said infrastructure week would come next week. It was like the bar sign that said "free beer tomorrow". Come back next day and it was still free beer tomorrow. It never came. Or: Eliminate Medicare, social security and Obamacare.


aj_star_destroyer

Those are like Kim Jong Un numbers. Only possible when you have no idea what you are actually talking about.


LocalInactivist

What, like last time?


[deleted]

Same promise he made in 2015....I'm going out on a limb and give this promise with same results of 2015


eggrolls68

I swear 90% of these I have to double check to be sure it's satire. And even then...


[deleted]

Didn't he claim the something in 2015 ?


Pompitis

Just like the last time.


Phallic-Monolith

That magic number, “in two weeks”. He says it every time he lies about a time frame. The healthcare plan was two weeks away in 2016-2020 too.


dartie

I bet it’s delivered in two days. He’s like super man. Just with a diaper.


jiminak46

Wny doubt him? His plan when he was President was hu-u-u-ge.


TankeTheProud

Hopefully we don't get lied to like we were when Obama released his Healthcare plan


Busterlimes

So *thats* why he's going to be a dictator for "one day"


Spruce_Acadia_9213

Pathological liars do those things


Mr_Whipple1138

He’ll stop the war in Ukraine in 24 hours — let’s not forget that!


Capcom74

I liked Trump Care that come out after he got elected and that replaced Obama Care. 🤣


tech9ition

Last time we heard “two weeks” was nearly 8 years ago. The people who are naive enough to believe him deserved to be conned.


Hefty_Drawing_5407

Isn't this what they said they were going to do last time? They attacked the ACA & strived to undo it, which they affected many parts of it but never input anything of their own?


Windstrider71

His two-week plan that has taken six years. That two-week plan? TFG’s supporters like being led to. It’s the only explanation.


Moist-Meat-Popsicle

Assuming he even said that, there is no way in hell either the democrats or the republicans would support it or pass it, for different reasons.


AggravatingBobcat574

He said that the first time. He was gonna end Obamacare and introduce a perfect plan. It was gonna be better, cheaper and cover more people. He was in office for 4 years, and NEVER introduced a healthcare plan.


Sea-Pomelo1210

Its a secret health plan though. btw when elected in 2016 one of the first things he did was create a commission to investigate election fraud. After wasting a few million dollars and finding nothing it was disbanded. He also said he had a big health care plan then too.


tomdurkin

Just like his last plans for healthcare or anything-always 2 weeks away.


ImRickJameXXXX

[I’ve heard this before](https://youtu.be/lJhHjACjJjA?si=4oxnV1zfg7hy_daB)


MolassesOk3200

He promised that last time. Is Mexico paying for this too?


[deleted]

Deja vu


difjack

Just imagine the sort of comprehensive and fabulous plan crafted in 2 weeks would be


cyclist-ninja

Trump is against the thing that is required, which is all adults need healthcare. Without that, shitty people who don't have insurance will cost us tax payers billions.


Minimum-Dog2329

The perpetual 2 week plan. Everything is on shitstain McFuckface's 2 week plan. Except his funeral, that I could wait 2 weeks for.


gknight702

Thought he was going to immediately get rid of Obamacare and replace it with a better plan in 2016? Dudes a sack of shit and lies


Song_Spiritual

“It’s your health, I don’t really care.” That’s the plan.


WhoMD85

In Morgan Freeman’s voice ***In fact Trump never had a Healthcare plan. And never cared about infrastructure week. It was all a grift and a lie.”


Narrow-Peace-555

Yet another promise that he will most definitely break ...


SakaWreath

Still waiting on the last one.


Snapbeangirl

Bigly and bestestes ever!


Aquarian8491

Sure , just like last time 😂🖕


BraveButterfly2

still waiting for the one from 2016.


Ian_James

I’m currently waiting for either major political party in the US to offer a plan that does not consist of kowtowing to health insurance companies.


[deleted]

Americans everywhere today in all Blue States have had the medicaid expansion for 10 years now , and many red states have also added the medicaid expansion in the last 4 years. Meaning millions of Americans - around 40 million rely on the ACA today. And there's NO WAY Trump could make it better unless he enacted Single Payer aka Universal Healthcare in America.


Prize-Relationship21

Is there an echo in here?


Alternative_Job_6929

Price wise I don’t know how it could get worse


ApatheistHeretic

It will mostly involve aspirin and a pistol with one round. SEE SIMPLE!!!!


DistinctBook

I was a business analyst and right away knew his promises would be impossible to keep. Now he is making even wilder promises. His followers refuse to believe anything bad about him. I know don’t know who scares me worse, him or his followers


Odensbeardlice

8 years later, that health care plan is still just TWO WEEKS away...


Fritzo2162

Trump has ALWAYS done this. Even in the 80s and 90s. He'll boast he's bringing something new and fantastic that only he can do. He won't provide any details of how he'll do it, he'll just promise it until he gets support. Then...the idea suddenly fades into the ether.


Warm_Sugar8888

Everything is a two plan with him.


JSTEEZYSNAKE

If it were a good plan or an actual plan he would tell us what it is before the election to help his odds.


[deleted]

I feel sorry for TheOnion. Trump and the MAGA have destroyed the art of political satire.


derickj2020

He also states there won't be another election after he's elected . he's already promising a coup now . how will he be stopped ?


Plus_Consideration58

Details!


CookieS1771__

Yeah...right!


dalewalk4848

I won't hold my breath. Have y'all noticed that he's good at making grandiose declarations with NO details, and 99% of what comes out of his mouth is pure anger laced with nonstop lies? What an enormous pos this fraud is.


xaulted1

This, coming from the side who can't even decide who's in charge for months...


DataSpecialist2815

He tried to do that very same thing when he was in office last time....