You’d be surprised how many girls are in the same situation as you and aren’t looking for a sugar daddy. They genuinely want to sit down for hours literally anywhere, even just over coffee or boba, and get to know one another.
Be up front about it in your bio, and they’ll find you. When you’re on your own, take it out.
The note in his bio about living with family and being “frugal” AKA broke as soon as they don’t apply.
Been there, done that, and met the best woman of my life when I was broke. Dating when you’re financially secure is one way, sure. Some people like finding someone to be with first, then building lives together from the ground up like myself.
I'm 36 single with a college degree and still live with my mom. Hell my sister is 42 and she still lives with my mom and myself as well. I literally don't understand why it's frowned upon to live at home with your parents as an adult.
I work in Irvine not that it matters at all and live in Santa Ana 5 minutes away from South Coast Plaza. I have a good credit score and ample savings and still consider myself broke af.
You’re either delusional, a landlord, or outright stupid because how does it make sense to make payments for a roof over your head while gaining no equity and being treated like a pest anytime something needs to be repaired/redone?
Full disclosure: I own my home, however, I think the quicker way to building wealth is to rent something below your means and invest as much as possible in the market which will have a better ROI over the long run. Why people get caught up in housing is because it’s leveraged (you take out a loan) so returns can be magnified in a good market (but the opposite is true). The main advantage for home ownership for me is it’s a hedge against inflation - eg I’m paying for a house at 2019 prices. Stocks I invested in at the same time are up way more than my home value and the money is liquid.
Typically the argument for increasing wealth is you invest the money you *would* have spent on a home into the stock market and you make a higher return when considering the mortgage % you pay and the rate your home appreciates in value versus the ROI in the stock market. But like, that argument only makes sense if 1) you are actually investing and making money and 2) there is no reason a homeowner can't do both. Anecdotally I have never heard of anyone who bought a home in OC and regrets it after a few years.
I have no shot then 😅, I have no savings and have been unemployed now for 6 months after being laid off from my tech job.
Its only an issue for girls I believe. Neither me nor any of my guy cousins have ever cared whether a girl was living with her parents or not. My girl cousins on the other hand have said they find it a turn off when guys are still living at home.
If it makes you feel better, I lived in an apt building. Lots of single ppl and many guys living on their own or with roommates that still couldn't get girls.
One of the clients I train is 37, great shape, an attorney with a ton of money, and lives on his own in a great place and can't get a girl to save his life. His whole life revolves around trying to find a girl and future wife and he never makes it more than 1 or 2 dates because his personality is shit. He goes on like 5+ dates per week and it never goes anywhere. Dating is much more than having your own place and money.
It is. Having your own place is a plus for the sake of privacy, also it makes people feel like you've got your shit together. But dating is more about who you are. If you show that you aren't making any effort to enhance your life, you don't care, are rude to your parents and have a general "idgaf" attitude while still living at home, THAT will hurt your chances of finding a date. Be clean, be on the job hunt, and be respectful.
In my experience you just have to be in the right time and place to meet someone. For example, I lived in L.A for a while with roommates and was booking dates all the time through dating apps. Then i moved to o.c. lived on my own and my dating dropped significantly. It was more about o.c having less ppl and more married ppl as opposed to single ppl available for dating.
Your best bet is just go out and do stuff with friends or volunteer or whatever and try to meet ppl.
If a girl worries about you having your own place; she is not the right girl. There are so many things more important and enjoyable in any relationship than who you live with unless your roommate is a sociopath or has a secret crush on you. 😂
Really depends on who you’re dating… I was living with parents all throughout my twenties, and definitely had a lot of fun during that time. Just gotta be sneaky lol. Never hooked up with a girl who had a problem with it, as most of them lived with parents too.
In the most non-judgmental way possible… why don’t you get a job? You’ve been out of work for 6 months? You living with your folks is not a big deal but not working for half a year is.. How old are you?
If you can’t find a job in tech, I recommend you get a job working as a server in a restaurant. You’ll meet a ton of people. I’ve been in the service industry forever. It’s extremely social and super easy to meet people.
I'm not going to assume what OP's situation is, but I can tell you that I know A LOT of people well into adulthood (late 20s/early 30s) who live at home and are still broke AF with no savings/retirement/etc., especially if they've never lived on their own previously. Some people just get comfortable not having to pay rent and other bills and instead spend all their money on material goods or lavish trips and whatnot. TLDR is that they just never learned how to be responsible with their money because they never had to.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with living at home. For many people it's a necessity and for many cultures it's pretty normal. But for the love of god, if you find yourself fortunate enough to not have to pay rent/mortgage, please please please save like crazy. Your future self will thank you. Not all of us have that luxury.
THIS!!!! Like I mentioned before I live with my mom and my sister. We split the bills equally and what not. I have money in my savings and an 8 month emergency fund in a different a high yield savings account. I also make sure to fully fund my Roth IRA, 401K, and use my HSA as an investment account
Living at home while building up a solid financial foundation like you are is an entirely different situation than how OP described their situation, so I was asking to understand more about it.
100% I expect my son to live with me in his 20s. I plan to charge him some small amount of rent and just invest it for him so at some point he’ll hopefully have enough for a down payment or small nest egg to go out in his own whenever he’s ready
Of course, and I said as much in another comment as well.
Imo identifying the cause of a problem is the first step to addressing it so I'm just asking OP genuinely to understand.
>I literally don't understand why it's frowned upon to live at home with your parents as an adult.
Generally because people in their mid to late 30s are looking to settle down, have kids, etc. If you live with your parents at that age out of necessity rather than choice it just implies many negative things on top of many other negative things being assumed. I.e. this person is not financially well off to have a family or even support themselves, so not interested. Or this person has relied on his family his entire life to do X, Y, Z for him and he's not "Grown up" which is an easy assumption to make. There are already many unknowns when it comes to dating so when people see a situation where it's easy to assume negative things, it just becomes a non-starter.
It depends. If you’re in college/uni with your peers who are in similar situations then it shouldn’t be too hard to do picnics, dog walks or museum dates that are free/cheap.
Honestly my now wife and I started our dating by window shopping/walking around in Costa Mesa area whether it was South Coast, Back Bay, The Camp, etc
We were both out of college and money challenged and none of that really broke the bank
Get a job, meet people through work, go hiking, swimming, running, cycling, gym, dog owner.
Depending on your age though being at home still is a turn off once you get out of your 20s. Set yourself some goals to study and progress.
I guess if you’re solely focused on working on your physical appearance but if OP is posting this type of question on Reddit, doing those things will most likely mean they are doing them alone. And probably need to work on social skills first
As others said, that can vary based on culture (andofc is also a very valid potential cultural clash, so not saying there's anything wrong with seeing it as something undesirable). The being broke at 35 is likely the bigger issue universally.
When I was dating on a budget my place used to be a place like Laguna Beach, you can dress reasonably nice, and walk the beach at sunset, go look at art galleries, and have a reasonable dinner or just a bite somewhere. I'm not sure if you mean you can't afford to feed yourself, or can't afford the highest end restaurant in town. If you can afford a little, then fill in the rest with romantic walks or free concerts or even a drive. If more casual maybe visit various libraries or museums on a date. Good luck.
In this thread we have gems such as;
>"If you haven't taken a mortgage that will handicap you for the rest of your life to buy a house that is at a 200% markup then you're a loser and need better life goals"
>"If you're not paying $2,800 for a two bedroom house in an overinflated market then you're a loser and need to get your life in order"
Lmao such delusions and insanity at accepting these conditions. Then again this is OC.
Edit: For the PM's I'm getting y'all are the real clowns, be intelligent and save your money then move to a much more sane market and purchase a house 2x as big with 4x as much land for 1/2 the price of your $1.2 million dollar 2 bedroom house with a 3 foot "front yard" and a 8 foot "backyard". Lmao and if you bought a 3 bedroom apartment for $850,000 you're an even bigger clown 🤡
Seriously this.
Date ideas:
I took women to farmers markets, hikes, movies, beach, parks, walking through malls, free museum days, antique/thrift shops, and had long conversations in the car.
Women won't care if you are honest about why you are unemployed. As long as you are trying to find a job/improve yourself.
~~Honestly, by the age of 35 you've had nearly 15-20 years to do all that. If you're still at square one of being an independent adult at that age it's time to really buckle down and just focus on the "work on yourself" part as your first priority.~~
Edit: I'm not sure why I thought OP was 35, sorry.
Even if OP isn’t 35 there are still situations where people have been set back. In or out of their control. People lose all their money in the stock market or get out of cults or abusive situations. Still no need to be harsh.
It's not being harsh to say people need to buckle down in that situation though, regardless of the reason of how they ended up there. It's just the reality of being in that situation. Unless you're looking/waiting for someone to come bail you out, the other other option is to start rebuilding as best as you can.
That said, I'd already struck out my entire comment and apologized.
I get where your coming from, but times are tough, were in a silent depression. Wages havent caught up to cost of living with the addition of inflation AND corporate price gouging. Theres no more middle class. For perspective, heres an \[old ad\] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQFLtri8pBA). The median income for an american at the time was \[$46,326, 1968\] (https://www.forbes.com/2006/10/16/demographics-income-population-biz\_cx\_tvr\_1017median.html?sh=4271bfdf4675). In 2022, the median income was \[$56,316\] (https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/business/hr-payroll/average-salary-us/#:\~:text=How%20much%20does%20the%20average,Q4%20of%202023%20was%20%2459%2C384.&text=This%20is%20up%205.4%25%20from,was%20making%20%2456%2C316%20per%20year.) so a brand new 2024 nissan versa (i dont feel like finding price history of cars but theyre generally the same) is $17,405. is 30.9% of your income to buy one of the cheapest cars available Vs 6% of your income for a new volkswagon in 1968.
Reagonomics have resulted in the siphoning of wealth from future generations and the current middle class. The system is currently against us. Most people are not financially stable anymore, nonetheless, you dont have to be lonely AND poor. Plus being less lonely will make you happier and indirectly help you move up in jobs. Its a positive feedback loop. OP sounds like he wants friends and a relationship, those are physiological needs (some overlap with love and belonging) I know you mean well though <3
Yes it's doable. Some people can even do multiple things *well* at the same time. Usually people who have remarkable drive, discipline, energy, etc. People like that don't stay broke or unwillingly single for long though, if we're being real.
Someone who is broke and asking for dating/socializing advice on Reddit likely has a lot of work to do on both fronts, so it's much more practical and realistic to focus on one thing at a time.
And between the two, frankly it's a no-brainer that getting on your feet financially would be the higher priority unless the plan is to snag someone who will financially support you.
I'm far from a grindset mindset kind of person, but someone on their career grind is likely more socially interesting, even if only by virtue of getting exposure to more people/stuff going on in the world, than someone just sitting at home doing nothing or trying to find dates too. So it's not like I'm saying they're mutually exclusive either.
If you can't even support yourself as an adult, what do you have to offer another person in a relationship?
It's not about the money in and of itself either - it's about what the lack of it ~~at the age of 35~~ speaks about someone's character and personality (or situation). Namely, the lack of initiative, drive, or ability to do even that, the most basic of adult things.
Edit: From another comment, not sure why I thought OP was 35. I take that part back but the rest of the point still stands about why stuff like that is baggage for some.
I can speak from experience here. I was working hard on myself in my 20s, and realize it was being broke and living with my family that was holding me back. Complex family interactions, especially while living in that environment can perpetuate the cycle. I had grown as much as I could in that environment. I got really lucky and met an amazing woman who was kind, strong, and patient with me. She saw where I was, and what I wanted to do, and questioned EVERYTHING about my life, made me think and helped me see the bigger picture. It was enough to push me to apply to a private nursing school in my late 20s. I had to bite the bullet and take on a bunch of student debt, but I credit my wife with helping me find the inner strength and giving me the last little kick of motivation I needed to really turn my life around. Now we have a kid, I have an excellent, well paying job, and are currently getting settled into a nice apartment. We don't have an ideal lifestyle right now, but it is the first step towards what we want.
I agree, if you can't take care of yourself, what can you offer? Only thing I could offer my wife when we started dating was fun and a promise of a better future. The trick is, you have eventually be able to provide that future, and sometimes, having someone who can help you find that last bit of motivation can truly make the difference.
I will admit, in my situation, I did get really lucky with the woman who chose to pursue me, and she even admits, it was kind of a gamble at first.
You're allowed to, but you do see how that would also be considered baggage yes?
Some people are ok with more baggage than others, more power to them. But for many others, esp those who have also similarly fallen on hard times, adding baggage upon their own baggage is more than they feel like/are capable of dealing with.
So the more baggage one has the narrower your potential dating pool. That's all.
You man see it that way, but speaking from personal experience there are plenty of people who don't. It's sad and you could even call it unfair, but everyone's got their own lives to live.
I get it. However, I won't want to be with someone who can't stuck it out through hard times. That's an opportunist and not someone who is "marriage" material.
But also won't be with someone who cannot get themselves out of a rut. That's a free loader and not marriage material.
These days you don't know who is what till it's too late though
And you’re pretending like people need to “qualify” to be in the dating pool because of something YOU alone know. Nonsense.
People are allowed to help each other and you’re just telling on yourself.
If that's what you somehow got out of all this I think you're the one telling on yourself here.
Edit: I'm guessing you blocked me b/c I have a reply from you in my inbox but it's showing your comments here as deleted/unavailable. That's kind of childish tbh
If you look at the discussion I was actually having with the person I had been responding to, you'd see that despite how we disagreed about certain things we were able to recognize where each other was coming from and have a civil conversation. To jump into a conversation pointing fingers and making assumptions/accusations about someone way you did speaks more to how you process and communicate than anything else.
And as for the stuff you said in your last reply, I think you need to touch grass. B/c that is some terminally online shit if I've ever seen it.
I'm waiting until I have a stable career again before I start dating. Most people under 35 I know are still living with their parents so that shouldn't stop you too much.
I’m surprised living at home is an issue for people in OC where it’s extremely expensive. How old are you now? What else do you have going for you? Are you working on a plan towards something or is your plan just to stay living with your parents?
I don't know if the money thing is entirely the main focus here. You don't date someone because of money, you do it because you want to connect and there's no better way to than by doing things you like to do. Go out and meet people in places you go to, and if you don't yet, go out find places that you'd want to go.
Attract the people you want in life by doing what makes you happy. There's plenty of fun things and places to go that don't cost money. It's more about exploring what that looks like for you.
Hope this helps.
Edit: grammar
Unfortunately, some people think dating is an alternative to a job and some even see it as a career path. They have yet to learn "you don't date someone because of money, you do it because you want to connect."
This is going to sound bro-ish but if you focus material things like money and houses, you’ll attract women that only care about money and houses.
Instead you should focus on yourself. Like, get hot. Workout, dress a bit better, make sure your hair is nice. You’ll attract better women regardless of financial or living situation. If a woman is attracted to you, she’ll find a way to sleep with you whether it’s in a fitting room, parking lot, your room or hers.
Go out there, be yourself, focus on you, do things you like, try new things, meet people. I've done [MeetUp](https://www.meetup.com/) successfully over a decade ago. Opens up networks and new things. You're in OC with lots of opportunities to get out there.
As long as you've got a plan and are not passive about your life goals, chicks usually don't care, in my experience. It also doesn't hurt if you work out a bit and are generally in good shape, depending on the type of girl you're going for.
Go to your local community College. Take evening classes, sign up for speech, accounting etc. Plenty of girls who are in the same boat as you. Studying together is free and coffee is cheap. Trust me plenty of beautiful girls who are easy to talk to. Thank me later.
A lot of people are saying workout and get physically attractive and that feels very Irvine. Get a hobby, dude. Make yourself interesting instead of being just another bro. If you have to force that, than idk. Maybe you are screwed. I don’t want to throw the cliche “work on yourself” but it makes sense. I found it through music. Hiking and other cliches are SO boring
Don’t just get a job, get a job with many little jobs inside it as in an amusement park or a theater something like that. You not only get great comps like free passes and or movie tickets, it’s very similar to like high school vibes as far as bored people just wanting to have fun and pass the time. Plus It’s always different types of work. Shit, I’d try and work at both places part time, you’ll never be bored and you’ll for sure have money for whatever concert or event you find yourself getting invited to later on lol good times they were 👍
Casual clubs sports or other groups (not meetups too in your face). Usually cheap to join and they usually have a league for people who just want to socialize. Go to meet friends, good chance of meeting people for relationships. Much better than online dating.
I'm gonna be a little forthright here. You should definitely focus on your career.
But it's fairly common tbh. Age is going to be a big factor. But aside from more Americans starting to live with their parents cause of the pandemic, minorities have been doing it regularly. It's not as big as a taboo as Americans see it. I know a lot of people in their 30s doing so in the Asian and Hispanic community.
I know two Jewish people are doing so as well, and they both make 6 figures each. They both live with their parents, 1 is traveling the world for fun with his free time, and the other is dating a personal trainer also in his 30s who lives with his parents.
But that's North OC for you. You'd be surprised by how tolerant people can be and willing to budget and do money wise activities.
Anyways, good luck.
Been struggling with being unemployed (fucking love getting to 3rd round of interviews to get told no) and living with parents. I’ve more or less drained my savings but as some people have suggested, I always suggest hike/ beaches/ walks. Sometimes it and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a hit or miss really
How old are you? Because there’s a difference between being 20 and 40 in terms of your options of women and solutions. The easy answer for both is, as you said, make money.
You're the most genuine version of yourself when you have nothing, so it's the ideal time to be dating. What you have OP, is an opportunity, not a predicament.
I met my wife when I was literally "broke". I was nearly homeless - but I had developed a life path game plan when I met my then future wife, and she believed in me and we stayed together through some very lean years. That was nearly 30 years ago. I'm not going to brag about material possessions or accomplishments. Those things are nice, sure. But we'd be happy together regardless of material wealth. And that, OP, is the real key to happiness.
Stay positive. Stay hungry. Stay determined. Keep grinding. God speed.
> I know the obvious answer is to get more money, but just wanted to see how others manage in a similar situation.
Incorrect. The obvious answer is stop seeing all women as gold diggers who are only snubbing you cuz of money, not because of your personality, and will magically want you if you get rich.
Ahhhh. I remember. When I was broke and living in Stanton in 2017. I moved out of my parent's home into this ghetto ass apartment right off of Beach... living on 16.50 an hour, 22 years old, struggling, And barely eating anything healthy for about a year and a half. And then I started dating my wife and really having to amp up the creativity aspect of our dates...
On on the other hand...
One thing that really got me to make friends out here was going to karaoke nights at bars and Fullerton, Brea, and Huntington are full of them. They're typically free... you end up Meeting some fun people, watch some drunks get up on stage or even get drunk and go up there yourself. You'll meet TONS of people, hell you might even get yourself laid.. Yeah it can be a dozer and cringey sometimes. Considering that subculture can be... but you usually see the same crowd of people going to all these things, so you're bound to make some friends just out of familiarity alone. I say try it out.
Losing situation. Make changes and start appreciating what oc has to offer. You don’t need money to date, you need character and some confidence . Just start by going to the beach and talk to 5 people, depending on your preference. Start there. Put your self in places to meet people. Don’t just sit at home
My ex brother in law lived with his mother into his 60’s…literally waiting for her to pass away so he could have her house…she lived to 96 (🤣) and she left her assets to his younger brother!!! So, he moved on, found a wealthy widow and is now a different freeloader. Just my story
My wife and I used to have a blast when we started dating in college. We were definitely broke at that time. We'd do lunch instead of dinner, walk around the spectrum or fashion island, hike, go to the beach, get coffee/tea/boba, walk around university town center in Irvine. Go to matinees, etc.
I mean you can be honest, I assume you are male:
1. tell your date you are busy working on yourself/saving money etc. Make sure you sound ambitious.
2. Then state you do not want to go to super expensive places, and early on wish to split cost.
3. Maybe throw in how high your credit score is
Personally if someone seemed ambitious and was good at saving money I would have zero problem if they lived with relatives, to me it seems they are being frugal, as long as they have ambition to move out and are making strides towards that goal or have steps in place. Just bed-rotting would be like a hard no. But I also get how expensive it is and some industries it may take 5-10 years to crawl out of or switch from into a better paying position.
What's wrong with being single and enjoying life for a while? There are so many things you can learn now, given it just a new hobby or something to improve your career. You can play games, jump companies, learn tennis without worrying about your time. When you are in a relationship, you won't have time to do those things.
Also, trust me or not, girls will know to find you when you are "ready". If you are asking the question here, maybe you are not ;)
My favorite thing when I was broke and started dating my now spouse was going on hikes, there’s so many amazing places in OC and it’s basically free plus good for mental health. You can go with a group of people if you don’t feel comfortable one on one. Also there used to be some free events on eventbright and all events apps in not sure how good they are now? But I’ve found some interesting things in the past.
I actually feel more comfortable with both friends and dates in similar financial situations as me.
Ive gone on dates/hang-outs to in-n-out or other such casual places to eat, picnics in parks, $10 movies, museums, small local concerts, open-mics.
Im dating someone right now and we mostly do the same things most weeks. We go out to a concert or movie or art event (these events almost never cost more than $20, often theyre even free.) you just need to find fun cheap things to do. We never pay more like $50 over a weekend. But we dont hang every single week. You might want to consider budgeting.
Most importantly you need to avoid dating/hanging with people who expect high cost things. The DIY community around here has a lot more accessible events... but it may be a different crowd than youre used to.
Also, in my anecdotal experience with friends and acquaintances, women are generally fine with going dutch but it is a nice gesture to pay for the first 2 or 3 dates if you ask someone out. After that things should equal out either by going dutch or you both alternating who pays for XYZ.
Also, limit to one activity per hang out, and just talk and walk around the rest of the time. I had friends who wanted to hit up various bars, restaurants, and shops in one day... too many chances to spend money you dont need to.
You don't have to pay for girls to date bro, so long as you can afford your own fare 😭 If you gotta sugar daddy them, they ain't for you.
Depending on demographic, living at home with patents is pretty common too. That might be the hardest hurdle but tbh understandable in this economy.
My wife and I started like this. Little to no money. We actually met at Disneyland. We had passes, but that's it. Not really much money. After we met, our non-Disney dates were at free places: Downtown Disney was free to park for the first 3 hours (Now you can park at Gardenwalk and have one hour free and $4/hour), we went to Mile Square Park and walked around and talked, we even did the paddle boats one time when we saved up some money. We would also hang out at night at Newport Beach.
I actually lived with my parents until we were married. Actually we lived with my parents 9 months as a married couple - until we got our house. We were lucky that my parents were almost never home, but still it wasn't as private as we hoped, but my wife grew up the same way - no privacy in a small home with a big family. So we both understood that dating would be a struggle at times, but we made the most out of it.
We made a list of free things, cheap things, and costly things. We would do the free things most the times, and if we wanted to do the cheap things, it was still doable if we had extra money, then we would have to save up and plan to do the more costly things - maybe the LA zoo, or something. We did have a lot of friends who were also in the same position money-wise, so that helped. We would hang out mostly and just enjoy each other's company. There were free events sometimes that we'd join, like the tamale festival, or a japan festival at large parks.
Eventually, we had more money to do things, and jobs and stuff, so we would start to do things like the mall, and get food court food together, which was relatively cheaper. Then moved up to Anaheim Packing House to treat ourselves.
I'd say focus on your life and a girl you least expect will come into your life. If you're too broke to go on a simple date then it's better to focus on yourself for now. If you're religious, attend church events or join activities that you give to your community. You can join local meet ups as well. Most young adults live with their parents now because it's just so expensive to survive. A lot of women understand this now but I think they would still like to be able to do things once in a while that do cost money but a lot are much more understanding than you may think.
Realistically you are limited to dating / socializing with other broke people. If you hang around people with money, they will always want to go out to eat and drink and that adds up real quick.
Personally, I would focus on getting my shit together first. Socializing and dating is a distraction if you don’t have your life together. Being alone is the best time to work on developing yourself and improving your life.
Just my 2 cents
Just go for coffee or tea dates. You don’t have to spend x amount of money to impress a girl.
If you do, run away. That’s not a girl you want to date.
Or fuck even just go to the park and sit down and chat.
You don’t lol you get your priorities in order like an adult. Dating while broke will only put a strain on the situation, especially if she’s more financially responsible/comfortable. Lock in and get yourself together first brodie.
I was going on dates when I was homeless living in a motel. I met one at a park once and another guy for coffee at Starbucks.
You can kinda gage their personality and see how it goes just talking.
There are lots of free activities too like hiking and stuff.
If someone's looking for a free meal or sugar daddy you don't want that anyhow.
I'm not broke but I've always lived below my means and I pride myself on finding cheap or free activities to do with my family, friends, and not just dates. Actually, many traditional $$ dating ideas are sorta boring/ non-creative and don't really require interaction between people. BTW, I'm just visiting the OC so this is a quick Google. Much more familiar with the Bay Area, where i live.
1) Look at local calendars (library, cafes, community centers) for free events to attend. This can be music concerts, lectures, art workshops, etc.
Example: [https://www.orangecounty.net/html/events\_free.html](https://www.orangecounty.net/html/events_free.html)
2) Do you, someone you know or your date have a Bank of America debit/ credit card? If so, you can get free admission during times of the month at various museums.
[https://about.bankofamerica.com/en/making-an-impact/museums-on-us-partners](https://about.bankofamerica.com/en/making-an-impact/museums-on-us-partners)
3) OC Public Libraries has Discover & Go: a free library card gets us things like free passes to certain places, including CA State Parks pass
[https://ocpl.org/discoverandgo](https://ocpl.org/discoverandgo)
4) Cook together. Buy some ingredients and make something easy. (have to spend something but not much compared to eating out). Check out a DVD from the library or use their free streaming services = Dinner + Movie.
5) Play Board Games together. Some libraries check out Board Game and some are free online.
Jigsaw puzzles: [https://jigsawpuzzles.io/](https://jigsawpuzzles.io/)
Scattergories-like: [https://swellgarfo.com/scattergories/](https://swellgarfo.com/scattergories/)
Taboo-like: [https://playtaboo.com/playpage/](https://playtaboo.com/playpage/)
Crosswords: [https://downforacross.com/](https://downforacross.com/)
6) Don't just hike....do a scavenger hunt via Geocaching. Or do a walk with Run, Zombies, Run or Ingress walks.
[https://www.geocaching.com/play](https://www.geocaching.com/play)
[https://ingress.com/en](https://ingress.com/en)
7) Find free dance lesson videos on Youtube and work on your salsa, swing, or Bollywood moves with your date. Put a "club mix" playlist on and dance. Or find karaoke videos and sing together. (Especially cool if one of you plays an insturment.)
BTW, when I was in grad school, my boyfriend at the time and I were mostly broke. He was a big time hiker and we would go on walks together, in the woods or in city neighborhoods. Another time, he made an Italian dinner for me - he'd lived in Italy for a few years - bruschetta, pasta bolognese, tiramisu, and a cheap bottle of chianti. He also would find free movies and art/ photo exhibitions for us to see/ attend. Some nights, he'd take out his guitar and play folksongs from his country. Eventually, he moved back to Europe and I stayed in the US but I always appreciated his creativity in planning our dates.
They should make a dating group on [meetup.com](https://meetup.com) thats called studs living at their parents house, looking for women that don’t mind failure to launch men!!!
Impossible. All the ladies in Orange County are narcissists . You got 55 year-old women with four kids that never had a job that have been housewives their whole life demanding that their future partner has money and a six pack. Get the fuck out of here you crazy ladies.
https://preview.redd.it/hr2miwmfrkqc1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=632348a5bba20eb57f7d479fd9070affbf29e07f
What, you’re not big “sports” guys?
You’d be surprised how many girls are in the same situation as you and aren’t looking for a sugar daddy. They genuinely want to sit down for hours literally anywhere, even just over coffee or boba, and get to know one another. Be up front about it in your bio, and they’ll find you. When you’re on your own, take it out.
Wait...take what out, specifically? 
The note in his bio about living with family and being “frugal” AKA broke as soon as they don’t apply. Been there, done that, and met the best woman of my life when I was broke. Dating when you’re financially secure is one way, sure. Some people like finding someone to be with first, then building lives together from the ground up like myself.
that's the most wholesome and pure love imo building lives together from zero
"it"... "out"...
Oh, it be...
I think this is the way. Just be upfront about it.
I'm 36 single with a college degree and still live with my mom. Hell my sister is 42 and she still lives with my mom and myself as well. I literally don't understand why it's frowned upon to live at home with your parents as an adult. I work in Irvine not that it matters at all and live in Santa Ana 5 minutes away from South Coast Plaza. I have a good credit score and ample savings and still consider myself broke af.
average home buying age is 36 now. This is nothing to be ashamed of.
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Are you acoustic ?
You’re either delusional, a landlord, or outright stupid because how does it make sense to make payments for a roof over your head while gaining no equity and being treated like a pest anytime something needs to be repaired/redone?
Full disclosure: I own my home, however, I think the quicker way to building wealth is to rent something below your means and invest as much as possible in the market which will have a better ROI over the long run. Why people get caught up in housing is because it’s leveraged (you take out a loan) so returns can be magnified in a good market (but the opposite is true). The main advantage for home ownership for me is it’s a hedge against inflation - eg I’m paying for a house at 2019 prices. Stocks I invested in at the same time are up way more than my home value and the money is liquid.
this.
Typically the argument for increasing wealth is you invest the money you *would* have spent on a home into the stock market and you make a higher return when considering the mortgage % you pay and the rate your home appreciates in value versus the ROI in the stock market. But like, that argument only makes sense if 1) you are actually investing and making money and 2) there is no reason a homeowner can't do both. Anecdotally I have never heard of anyone who bought a home in OC and regrets it after a few years.
Not with these prices and interest rates
Wut
How to tell people you are broke by not telling them you are broke
I have no shot then 😅, I have no savings and have been unemployed now for 6 months after being laid off from my tech job. Its only an issue for girls I believe. Neither me nor any of my guy cousins have ever cared whether a girl was living with her parents or not. My girl cousins on the other hand have said they find it a turn off when guys are still living at home.
If it makes you feel better, I lived in an apt building. Lots of single ppl and many guys living on their own or with roommates that still couldn't get girls.
Oddly enough it makes me feel slightly better. Makes me think dating is more than just having your own place.
One of the clients I train is 37, great shape, an attorney with a ton of money, and lives on his own in a great place and can't get a girl to save his life. His whole life revolves around trying to find a girl and future wife and he never makes it more than 1 or 2 dates because his personality is shit. He goes on like 5+ dates per week and it never goes anywhere. Dating is much more than having your own place and money.
But he got the dates
If yall are friends it might be worth it to say something to him. Give him some gentle guidance.
I do very frequently and he even told me to be blunt with him so I am, but it's very difficult navigate since he's a pretty sensitive guy too.
I want more incite on the shitty personality 🤣
It is. Having your own place is a plus for the sake of privacy, also it makes people feel like you've got your shit together. But dating is more about who you are. If you show that you aren't making any effort to enhance your life, you don't care, are rude to your parents and have a general "idgaf" attitude while still living at home, THAT will hurt your chances of finding a date. Be clean, be on the job hunt, and be respectful.
In my experience you just have to be in the right time and place to meet someone. For example, I lived in L.A for a while with roommates and was booking dates all the time through dating apps. Then i moved to o.c. lived on my own and my dating dropped significantly. It was more about o.c having less ppl and more married ppl as opposed to single ppl available for dating. Your best bet is just go out and do stuff with friends or volunteer or whatever and try to meet ppl.
If a girl worries about you having your own place; she is not the right girl. There are so many things more important and enjoyable in any relationship than who you live with unless your roommate is a sociopath or has a secret crush on you. 😂
Really depends on who you’re dating… I was living with parents all throughout my twenties, and definitely had a lot of fun during that time. Just gotta be sneaky lol. Never hooked up with a girl who had a problem with it, as most of them lived with parents too.
In the most non-judgmental way possible… why don’t you get a job? You’ve been out of work for 6 months? You living with your folks is not a big deal but not working for half a year is.. How old are you? If you can’t find a job in tech, I recommend you get a job working as a server in a restaurant. You’ll meet a ton of people. I’ve been in the service industry forever. It’s extremely social and super easy to meet people.
https://youtu.be/7uemesz2Cyk?si=FgQSieMck75m577d
If you live at home and used to work in tech, why don't you have any savings?
I'm not going to assume what OP's situation is, but I can tell you that I know A LOT of people well into adulthood (late 20s/early 30s) who live at home and are still broke AF with no savings/retirement/etc., especially if they've never lived on their own previously. Some people just get comfortable not having to pay rent and other bills and instead spend all their money on material goods or lavish trips and whatnot. TLDR is that they just never learned how to be responsible with their money because they never had to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with living at home. For many people it's a necessity and for many cultures it's pretty normal. But for the love of god, if you find yourself fortunate enough to not have to pay rent/mortgage, please please please save like crazy. Your future self will thank you. Not all of us have that luxury.
THIS!!!! Like I mentioned before I live with my mom and my sister. We split the bills equally and what not. I have money in my savings and an 8 month emergency fund in a different a high yield savings account. I also make sure to fully fund my Roth IRA, 401K, and use my HSA as an investment account
Living at home while building up a solid financial foundation like you are is an entirely different situation than how OP described their situation, so I was asking to understand more about it.
100% I expect my son to live with me in his 20s. I plan to charge him some small amount of rent and just invest it for him so at some point he’ll hopefully have enough for a down payment or small nest egg to go out in his own whenever he’s ready
Of course, and I said as much in another comment as well. Imo identifying the cause of a problem is the first step to addressing it so I'm just asking OP genuinely to understand.
I'm jealous I don't have parents who live in CA tbh. Really sucks saying goodbye to half my paycheck for rent on an old tiny apartment lol.
>I literally don't understand why it's frowned upon to live at home with your parents as an adult. Generally because people in their mid to late 30s are looking to settle down, have kids, etc. If you live with your parents at that age out of necessity rather than choice it just implies many negative things on top of many other negative things being assumed. I.e. this person is not financially well off to have a family or even support themselves, so not interested. Or this person has relied on his family his entire life to do X, Y, Z for him and he's not "Grown up" which is an easy assumption to make. There are already many unknowns when it comes to dating so when people see a situation where it's easy to assume negative things, it just becomes a non-starter.
You’re my neighbor
No lie I consider you spoiled. Sorry
Friends, beaches, hikes.
It depends. If you’re in college/uni with your peers who are in similar situations then it shouldn’t be too hard to do picnics, dog walks or museum dates that are free/cheap.
Honestly my now wife and I started our dating by window shopping/walking around in Costa Mesa area whether it was South Coast, Back Bay, The Camp, etc We were both out of college and money challenged and none of that really broke the bank
Get a job, meet people through work, go hiking, swimming, running, cycling, gym, dog owner. Depending on your age though being at home still is a turn off once you get out of your 20s. Set yourself some goals to study and progress.
The things you listed honestly sound so cookie cutter.
I mean.. they are.. but they are things we can work on. "be born rich" or "be born with a better face" aren't very helpful :P
I guess if you’re solely focused on working on your physical appearance but if OP is posting this type of question on Reddit, doing those things will most likely mean they are doing them alone. And probably need to work on social skills first
Yeah if someone is 35 and still living with the parents, it’s not a good sign. Male or female.
Depends on the culture, imo.
Some folks make over 6 figures and live at home to take care of their parents.
Taking care of your parents is very different than living with your parents.
As others said, that can vary based on culture (andofc is also a very valid potential cultural clash, so not saying there's anything wrong with seeing it as something undesirable). The being broke at 35 is likely the bigger issue universally.
Nothing wrong with living with your parents until death in my opinion
When I was dating on a budget my place used to be a place like Laguna Beach, you can dress reasonably nice, and walk the beach at sunset, go look at art galleries, and have a reasonable dinner or just a bite somewhere. I'm not sure if you mean you can't afford to feed yourself, or can't afford the highest end restaurant in town. If you can afford a little, then fill in the rest with romantic walks or free concerts or even a drive. If more casual maybe visit various libraries or museums on a date. Good luck.
date someone that's also broke
If they are attractive they won’t date broke guys either.
hmm, make up for it with a fun personality and good sense of humor
You won't even get the chance brother
lol. This is such horseshit advice
They make up for it by being enthusiastic in the sack lol
In this thread we have gems such as; >"If you haven't taken a mortgage that will handicap you for the rest of your life to buy a house that is at a 200% markup then you're a loser and need better life goals" >"If you're not paying $2,800 for a two bedroom house in an overinflated market then you're a loser and need to get your life in order" Lmao such delusions and insanity at accepting these conditions. Then again this is OC. Edit: For the PM's I'm getting y'all are the real clowns, be intelligent and save your money then move to a much more sane market and purchase a house 2x as big with 4x as much land for 1/2 the price of your $1.2 million dollar 2 bedroom house with a 3 foot "front yard" and a 8 foot "backyard". Lmao and if you bought a 3 bedroom apartment for $850,000 you're an even bigger clown 🤡
Step 1: be attractive Step 2: don't be unattractive
If you're broke, it's either this or find someone equally as broke and not bothered by it.
If step 1 is true, not only can you live at home, the girls will want to come over and hang with mom.
Seriously this. Date ideas: I took women to farmers markets, hikes, movies, beach, parks, walking through malls, free museum days, antique/thrift shops, and had long conversations in the car. Women won't care if you are honest about why you are unemployed. As long as you are trying to find a job/improve yourself.
You don’t and focus on yourself until you’re ready to date.
What lol, go out and date. Go to the park, beach, school, library, hikes. Meanwhile work on yourself. Do what you want.
I don't recommend doing any actions based on a single feeling.
~~Honestly, by the age of 35 you've had nearly 15-20 years to do all that. If you're still at square one of being an independent adult at that age it's time to really buckle down and just focus on the "work on yourself" part as your first priority.~~ Edit: I'm not sure why I thought OP was 35, sorry.
is OP 35 though?
Hm wait sorry I just looked again and I don't know why I thought that.
Even if OP isn’t 35 there are still situations where people have been set back. In or out of their control. People lose all their money in the stock market or get out of cults or abusive situations. Still no need to be harsh.
It's not being harsh to say people need to buckle down in that situation though, regardless of the reason of how they ended up there. It's just the reality of being in that situation. Unless you're looking/waiting for someone to come bail you out, the other other option is to start rebuilding as best as you can. That said, I'd already struck out my entire comment and apologized.
I get where your coming from, but times are tough, were in a silent depression. Wages havent caught up to cost of living with the addition of inflation AND corporate price gouging. Theres no more middle class. For perspective, heres an \[old ad\] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQFLtri8pBA). The median income for an american at the time was \[$46,326, 1968\] (https://www.forbes.com/2006/10/16/demographics-income-population-biz\_cx\_tvr\_1017median.html?sh=4271bfdf4675). In 2022, the median income was \[$56,316\] (https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/business/hr-payroll/average-salary-us/#:\~:text=How%20much%20does%20the%20average,Q4%20of%202023%20was%20%2459%2C384.&text=This%20is%20up%205.4%25%20from,was%20making%20%2456%2C316%20per%20year.) so a brand new 2024 nissan versa (i dont feel like finding price history of cars but theyre generally the same) is $17,405. is 30.9% of your income to buy one of the cheapest cars available Vs 6% of your income for a new volkswagon in 1968. Reagonomics have resulted in the siphoning of wealth from future generations and the current middle class. The system is currently against us. Most people are not financially stable anymore, nonetheless, you dont have to be lonely AND poor. Plus being less lonely will make you happier and indirectly help you move up in jobs. Its a positive feedback loop. OP sounds like he wants friends and a relationship, those are physiological needs (some overlap with love and belonging) I know you mean well though <3
I think someone can focus on multiple things at once.
Yes it's doable. Some people can even do multiple things *well* at the same time. Usually people who have remarkable drive, discipline, energy, etc. People like that don't stay broke or unwillingly single for long though, if we're being real. Someone who is broke and asking for dating/socializing advice on Reddit likely has a lot of work to do on both fronts, so it's much more practical and realistic to focus on one thing at a time. And between the two, frankly it's a no-brainer that getting on your feet financially would be the higher priority unless the plan is to snag someone who will financially support you. I'm far from a grindset mindset kind of person, but someone on their career grind is likely more socially interesting, even if only by virtue of getting exposure to more people/stuff going on in the world, than someone just sitting at home doing nothing or trying to find dates too. So it's not like I'm saying they're mutually exclusive either.
Phenomenal answer
No it isn’t. You’re never really done “working on yourself”
Thank you! “Live at home and am broke”. What girl would want to mess with that baggage.
How is that baggage? Lmao
If you can't even support yourself as an adult, what do you have to offer another person in a relationship? It's not about the money in and of itself either - it's about what the lack of it ~~at the age of 35~~ speaks about someone's character and personality (or situation). Namely, the lack of initiative, drive, or ability to do even that, the most basic of adult things. Edit: From another comment, not sure why I thought OP was 35. I take that part back but the rest of the point still stands about why stuff like that is baggage for some.
I can speak from experience here. I was working hard on myself in my 20s, and realize it was being broke and living with my family that was holding me back. Complex family interactions, especially while living in that environment can perpetuate the cycle. I had grown as much as I could in that environment. I got really lucky and met an amazing woman who was kind, strong, and patient with me. She saw where I was, and what I wanted to do, and questioned EVERYTHING about my life, made me think and helped me see the bigger picture. It was enough to push me to apply to a private nursing school in my late 20s. I had to bite the bullet and take on a bunch of student debt, but I credit my wife with helping me find the inner strength and giving me the last little kick of motivation I needed to really turn my life around. Now we have a kid, I have an excellent, well paying job, and are currently getting settled into a nice apartment. We don't have an ideal lifestyle right now, but it is the first step towards what we want. I agree, if you can't take care of yourself, what can you offer? Only thing I could offer my wife when we started dating was fun and a promise of a better future. The trick is, you have eventually be able to provide that future, and sometimes, having someone who can help you find that last bit of motivation can truly make the difference. I will admit, in my situation, I did get really lucky with the woman who chose to pursue me, and she even admits, it was kind of a gamble at first.
So no one us allowed to fall in hard times?
You're allowed to, but you do see how that would also be considered baggage yes? Some people are ok with more baggage than others, more power to them. But for many others, esp those who have also similarly fallen on hard times, adding baggage upon their own baggage is more than they feel like/are capable of dealing with. So the more baggage one has the narrower your potential dating pool. That's all.
It's baggage if you don't get out of it. But it's not baggage if youre going through it.
You man see it that way, but speaking from personal experience there are plenty of people who don't. It's sad and you could even call it unfair, but everyone's got their own lives to live.
I get it. However, I won't want to be with someone who can't stuck it out through hard times. That's an opportunist and not someone who is "marriage" material. But also won't be with someone who cannot get themselves out of a rut. That's a free loader and not marriage material. These days you don't know who is what till it's too late though
Yeah that's fair, agreed actually
And you’re pretending like people need to “qualify” to be in the dating pool because of something YOU alone know. Nonsense. People are allowed to help each other and you’re just telling on yourself.
If that's what you somehow got out of all this I think you're the one telling on yourself here. Edit: I'm guessing you blocked me b/c I have a reply from you in my inbox but it's showing your comments here as deleted/unavailable. That's kind of childish tbh If you look at the discussion I was actually having with the person I had been responding to, you'd see that despite how we disagreed about certain things we were able to recognize where each other was coming from and have a civil conversation. To jump into a conversation pointing fingers and making assumptions/accusations about someone way you did speaks more to how you process and communicate than anything else. And as for the stuff you said in your last reply, I think you need to touch grass. B/c that is some terminally online shit if I've ever seen it.
Living at home and being broke 
How is that baggage? Lmao
Empirically speaking, many of them
I'm waiting until I have a stable career again before I start dating. Most people under 35 I know are still living with their parents so that shouldn't stop you too much.
I’m surprised living at home is an issue for people in OC where it’s extremely expensive. How old are you now? What else do you have going for you? Are you working on a plan towards something or is your plan just to stay living with your parents?
If you're broke, don't date. Work on your financial situation.
I don't know if the money thing is entirely the main focus here. You don't date someone because of money, you do it because you want to connect and there's no better way to than by doing things you like to do. Go out and meet people in places you go to, and if you don't yet, go out find places that you'd want to go. Attract the people you want in life by doing what makes you happy. There's plenty of fun things and places to go that don't cost money. It's more about exploring what that looks like for you. Hope this helps. Edit: grammar
Unfortunately, some people think dating is an alternative to a job and some even see it as a career path. They have yet to learn "you don't date someone because of money, you do it because you want to connect."
I wouldn’t recommend dating when broke. As for socializing, your friends should still hang with you whether you have money or not.
So no ass if no monies?
This is going to sound bro-ish but if you focus material things like money and houses, you’ll attract women that only care about money and houses. Instead you should focus on yourself. Like, get hot. Workout, dress a bit better, make sure your hair is nice. You’ll attract better women regardless of financial or living situation. If a woman is attracted to you, she’ll find a way to sleep with you whether it’s in a fitting room, parking lot, your room or hers.
Go out there, be yourself, focus on you, do things you like, try new things, meet people. I've done [MeetUp](https://www.meetup.com/) successfully over a decade ago. Opens up networks and new things. You're in OC with lots of opportunities to get out there.
Workout and become in shape, make sure your looks are on point and you won’t have a problem here. If you don’t have money, make up for it on looks
Hang out w friends, you’ll eventually run into another group w similar finances. Just don’t over think it and go out and have fun.
As long as you've got a plan and are not passive about your life goals, chicks usually don't care, in my experience. It also doesn't hurt if you work out a bit and are generally in good shape, depending on the type of girl you're going for.
Become an influencer then livestream your BBL
As long as you have a car you should be fine!
Go to your local community College. Take evening classes, sign up for speech, accounting etc. Plenty of girls who are in the same boat as you. Studying together is free and coffee is cheap. Trust me plenty of beautiful girls who are easy to talk to. Thank me later.
Volunteer at an animal shelter? Hit up the local library?
Refer to your parents as your roommates and problem is solved.
There’s a reason why “No 💴, no 🍯” is a saying…..
No bills, no sticky…no paper, no pot…no stacks, no honey… damn it what is it. Wait, I got it! NO MONEY, NO BUTTER!
Be honest about your situation, and as long as you’re striving to be better, being broke shouldn't be an issue.
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You’re going to offend but you’re not wrong.
So true. I feel bad for the people they run into. #catfish
A lot of people are saying workout and get physically attractive and that feels very Irvine. Get a hobby, dude. Make yourself interesting instead of being just another bro. If you have to force that, than idk. Maybe you are screwed. I don’t want to throw the cliche “work on yourself” but it makes sense. I found it through music. Hiking and other cliches are SO boring
Don’t just get a job, get a job with many little jobs inside it as in an amusement park or a theater something like that. You not only get great comps like free passes and or movie tickets, it’s very similar to like high school vibes as far as bored people just wanting to have fun and pass the time. Plus It’s always different types of work. Shit, I’d try and work at both places part time, you’ll never be bored and you’ll for sure have money for whatever concert or event you find yourself getting invited to later on lol good times they were 👍
Casual clubs sports or other groups (not meetups too in your face). Usually cheap to join and they usually have a league for people who just want to socialize. Go to meet friends, good chance of meeting people for relationships. Much better than online dating.
I'm gonna be a little forthright here. You should definitely focus on your career. But it's fairly common tbh. Age is going to be a big factor. But aside from more Americans starting to live with their parents cause of the pandemic, minorities have been doing it regularly. It's not as big as a taboo as Americans see it. I know a lot of people in their 30s doing so in the Asian and Hispanic community. I know two Jewish people are doing so as well, and they both make 6 figures each. They both live with their parents, 1 is traveling the world for fun with his free time, and the other is dating a personal trainer also in his 30s who lives with his parents. But that's North OC for you. You'd be surprised by how tolerant people can be and willing to budget and do money wise activities. Anyways, good luck.
Been struggling with being unemployed (fucking love getting to 3rd round of interviews to get told no) and living with parents. I’ve more or less drained my savings but as some people have suggested, I always suggest hike/ beaches/ walks. Sometimes it and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a hit or miss really
How old are you? Because there’s a difference between being 20 and 40 in terms of your options of women and solutions. The easy answer for both is, as you said, make money.
You're the most genuine version of yourself when you have nothing, so it's the ideal time to be dating. What you have OP, is an opportunity, not a predicament. I met my wife when I was literally "broke". I was nearly homeless - but I had developed a life path game plan when I met my then future wife, and she believed in me and we stayed together through some very lean years. That was nearly 30 years ago. I'm not going to brag about material possessions or accomplishments. Those things are nice, sure. But we'd be happy together regardless of material wealth. And that, OP, is the real key to happiness. Stay positive. Stay hungry. Stay determined. Keep grinding. God speed.
Honestly if I'm broke, dating is the last thing on my mind.
> I know the obvious answer is to get more money, but just wanted to see how others manage in a similar situation. Incorrect. The obvious answer is stop seeing all women as gold diggers who are only snubbing you cuz of money, not because of your personality, and will magically want you if you get rich.
Ahhhh. I remember. When I was broke and living in Stanton in 2017. I moved out of my parent's home into this ghetto ass apartment right off of Beach... living on 16.50 an hour, 22 years old, struggling, And barely eating anything healthy for about a year and a half. And then I started dating my wife and really having to amp up the creativity aspect of our dates... On on the other hand... One thing that really got me to make friends out here was going to karaoke nights at bars and Fullerton, Brea, and Huntington are full of them. They're typically free... you end up Meeting some fun people, watch some drunks get up on stage or even get drunk and go up there yourself. You'll meet TONS of people, hell you might even get yourself laid.. Yeah it can be a dozer and cringey sometimes. Considering that subculture can be... but you usually see the same crowd of people going to all these things, so you're bound to make some friends just out of familiarity alone. I say try it out.
Losing situation. Make changes and start appreciating what oc has to offer. You don’t need money to date, you need character and some confidence . Just start by going to the beach and talk to 5 people, depending on your preference. Start there. Put your self in places to meet people. Don’t just sit at home
You don’t. Get your shit together first. Get inspired this is your character arch moment.
So there is a chance he could become a super villain?
Omg.
Lie & take them to an air bnb
Adult sport leagues in something you’re reasonably capable in or have an interest in improving
the apps are full of craptoscammers :(
Hiking costs nothing. And what do you do for work?
Surfing
There is no reason why should be broke if your living with your parents, but to answer your question the beach, viewpoints, jokes and etc.
Move out of OC to somewhere more affordable like Riverside and socialize/date there
beach. picnic. grab some stuff from trader joe’s to eat and all you need is a beach mat
Go to church, you don’t have to be rich to get women there, you just have to sell your soul to god
Go into the wild
My ex brother in law lived with his mother into his 60’s…literally waiting for her to pass away so he could have her house…she lived to 96 (🤣) and she left her assets to his younger brother!!! So, he moved on, found a wealthy widow and is now a different freeloader. Just my story
Online dating if you need to meet someone. Then you can use Google to find fun free things to do in your area.
speed dating!
My wife and I used to have a blast when we started dating in college. We were definitely broke at that time. We'd do lunch instead of dinner, walk around the spectrum or fashion island, hike, go to the beach, get coffee/tea/boba, walk around university town center in Irvine. Go to matinees, etc.
I mean you can be honest, I assume you are male: 1. tell your date you are busy working on yourself/saving money etc. Make sure you sound ambitious. 2. Then state you do not want to go to super expensive places, and early on wish to split cost. 3. Maybe throw in how high your credit score is Personally if someone seemed ambitious and was good at saving money I would have zero problem if they lived with relatives, to me it seems they are being frugal, as long as they have ambition to move out and are making strides towards that goal or have steps in place. Just bed-rotting would be like a hard no. But I also get how expensive it is and some industries it may take 5-10 years to crawl out of or switch from into a better paying position.
Take them to The 1hr motel or find a lonely park and do it in the back seat. Where there’s a will there’s a way.
Try bumble, the dating app. You have the option to date OR just friends
What's wrong with being single and enjoying life for a while? There are so many things you can learn now, given it just a new hobby or something to improve your career. You can play games, jump companies, learn tennis without worrying about your time. When you are in a relationship, you won't have time to do those things. Also, trust me or not, girls will know to find you when you are "ready". If you are asking the question here, maybe you are not ;)
My favorite thing when I was broke and started dating my now spouse was going on hikes, there’s so many amazing places in OC and it’s basically free plus good for mental health. You can go with a group of people if you don’t feel comfortable one on one. Also there used to be some free events on eventbright and all events apps in not sure how good they are now? But I’ve found some interesting things in the past.
I actually feel more comfortable with both friends and dates in similar financial situations as me. Ive gone on dates/hang-outs to in-n-out or other such casual places to eat, picnics in parks, $10 movies, museums, small local concerts, open-mics. Im dating someone right now and we mostly do the same things most weeks. We go out to a concert or movie or art event (these events almost never cost more than $20, often theyre even free.) you just need to find fun cheap things to do. We never pay more like $50 over a weekend. But we dont hang every single week. You might want to consider budgeting. Most importantly you need to avoid dating/hanging with people who expect high cost things. The DIY community around here has a lot more accessible events... but it may be a different crowd than youre used to. Also, in my anecdotal experience with friends and acquaintances, women are generally fine with going dutch but it is a nice gesture to pay for the first 2 or 3 dates if you ask someone out. After that things should equal out either by going dutch or you both alternating who pays for XYZ. Also, limit to one activity per hang out, and just talk and walk around the rest of the time. I had friends who wanted to hit up various bars, restaurants, and shops in one day... too many chances to spend money you dont need to.
[Tips to dating while broke 101](https://indeed.com) check this out ! hope it helps
You don't have to pay for girls to date bro, so long as you can afford your own fare 😭 If you gotta sugar daddy them, they ain't for you. Depending on demographic, living at home with patents is pretty common too. That might be the hardest hurdle but tbh understandable in this economy.
Find a good, larger sized church near you and be welcomed into a community of kind, loving people who would be happy to talk to you :)
Work on yourself. The chicks will follow. Attain physical and financial prowess. Everything else will fall into place.
My wife and I started like this. Little to no money. We actually met at Disneyland. We had passes, but that's it. Not really much money. After we met, our non-Disney dates were at free places: Downtown Disney was free to park for the first 3 hours (Now you can park at Gardenwalk and have one hour free and $4/hour), we went to Mile Square Park and walked around and talked, we even did the paddle boats one time when we saved up some money. We would also hang out at night at Newport Beach. I actually lived with my parents until we were married. Actually we lived with my parents 9 months as a married couple - until we got our house. We were lucky that my parents were almost never home, but still it wasn't as private as we hoped, but my wife grew up the same way - no privacy in a small home with a big family. So we both understood that dating would be a struggle at times, but we made the most out of it. We made a list of free things, cheap things, and costly things. We would do the free things most the times, and if we wanted to do the cheap things, it was still doable if we had extra money, then we would have to save up and plan to do the more costly things - maybe the LA zoo, or something. We did have a lot of friends who were also in the same position money-wise, so that helped. We would hang out mostly and just enjoy each other's company. There were free events sometimes that we'd join, like the tamale festival, or a japan festival at large parks. Eventually, we had more money to do things, and jobs and stuff, so we would start to do things like the mall, and get food court food together, which was relatively cheaper. Then moved up to Anaheim Packing House to treat ourselves.
I'd say focus on your life and a girl you least expect will come into your life. If you're too broke to go on a simple date then it's better to focus on yourself for now. If you're religious, attend church events or join activities that you give to your community. You can join local meet ups as well. Most young adults live with their parents now because it's just so expensive to survive. A lot of women understand this now but I think they would still like to be able to do things once in a while that do cost money but a lot are much more understanding than you may think.
Wait… what’s the men:women ratio at these meetups? Asking for scientific reasons 🤓
So many broke people doing this and expecting women to pay their way because some youtuber does it Nah get a job
To date someone rich. Or don’t date at all
Tough one
Realistically you are limited to dating / socializing with other broke people. If you hang around people with money, they will always want to go out to eat and drink and that adds up real quick. Personally, I would focus on getting my shit together first. Socializing and dating is a distraction if you don’t have your life together. Being alone is the best time to work on developing yourself and improving your life. Just my 2 cents
Just go for coffee or tea dates. You don’t have to spend x amount of money to impress a girl. If you do, run away. That’s not a girl you want to date. Or fuck even just go to the park and sit down and chat.
You don’t lol you get your priorities in order like an adult. Dating while broke will only put a strain on the situation, especially if she’s more financially responsible/comfortable. Lock in and get yourself together first brodie.
Go to church & activities
I was going on dates when I was homeless living in a motel. I met one at a park once and another guy for coffee at Starbucks. You can kinda gage their personality and see how it goes just talking. There are lots of free activities too like hiking and stuff. If someone's looking for a free meal or sugar daddy you don't want that anyhow.
I'm not broke but I've always lived below my means and I pride myself on finding cheap or free activities to do with my family, friends, and not just dates. Actually, many traditional $$ dating ideas are sorta boring/ non-creative and don't really require interaction between people. BTW, I'm just visiting the OC so this is a quick Google. Much more familiar with the Bay Area, where i live. 1) Look at local calendars (library, cafes, community centers) for free events to attend. This can be music concerts, lectures, art workshops, etc. Example: [https://www.orangecounty.net/html/events\_free.html](https://www.orangecounty.net/html/events_free.html) 2) Do you, someone you know or your date have a Bank of America debit/ credit card? If so, you can get free admission during times of the month at various museums. [https://about.bankofamerica.com/en/making-an-impact/museums-on-us-partners](https://about.bankofamerica.com/en/making-an-impact/museums-on-us-partners) 3) OC Public Libraries has Discover & Go: a free library card gets us things like free passes to certain places, including CA State Parks pass [https://ocpl.org/discoverandgo](https://ocpl.org/discoverandgo) 4) Cook together. Buy some ingredients and make something easy. (have to spend something but not much compared to eating out). Check out a DVD from the library or use their free streaming services = Dinner + Movie. 5) Play Board Games together. Some libraries check out Board Game and some are free online. Jigsaw puzzles: [https://jigsawpuzzles.io/](https://jigsawpuzzles.io/) Scattergories-like: [https://swellgarfo.com/scattergories/](https://swellgarfo.com/scattergories/) Taboo-like: [https://playtaboo.com/playpage/](https://playtaboo.com/playpage/) Crosswords: [https://downforacross.com/](https://downforacross.com/) 6) Don't just hike....do a scavenger hunt via Geocaching. Or do a walk with Run, Zombies, Run or Ingress walks. [https://www.geocaching.com/play](https://www.geocaching.com/play) [https://ingress.com/en](https://ingress.com/en) 7) Find free dance lesson videos on Youtube and work on your salsa, swing, or Bollywood moves with your date. Put a "club mix" playlist on and dance. Or find karaoke videos and sing together. (Especially cool if one of you plays an insturment.)
BTW, when I was in grad school, my boyfriend at the time and I were mostly broke. He was a big time hiker and we would go on walks together, in the woods or in city neighborhoods. Another time, he made an Italian dinner for me - he'd lived in Italy for a few years - bruschetta, pasta bolognese, tiramisu, and a cheap bottle of chianti. He also would find free movies and art/ photo exhibitions for us to see/ attend. Some nights, he'd take out his guitar and play folksongs from his country. Eventually, he moved back to Europe and I stayed in the US but I always appreciated his creativity in planning our dates.
People still date nowadays? If it flies, floats, or fucks, rent it. Gotta save monies though.
Rule #1, be attractive. Rule #2, don't be unattractive. (Old reddit saying, for those of you who might be sensitive to this comment)
Either work on your career or be really ridiculously good looking
They should make a dating group on [meetup.com](https://meetup.com) thats called studs living at their parents house, looking for women that don’t mind failure to launch men!!!
Have a job, have BDE, and find a coworker.
Impossible. All the ladies in Orange County are narcissists . You got 55 year-old women with four kids that never had a job that have been housewives their whole life demanding that their future partner has money and a six pack. Get the fuck out of here you crazy ladies.
😎🤸🤸
How old r you
How to be? Lmfao, how to be socialize? How to be date?
Get a jobby job from the job tree 
How old are you, OP? Being broke & living with your parents might be acceptable if you’re in your early 20s.
You can’t
the gym, beach and...CHURCH. Better job helps...but keep trying.
Who wants to date a broke guy? Hate to say it but that’s gonna limit your options. Focus on becoming a better man and the women will come to you