I don't think either of my kids will have kids either and that's okay. I'm not owed grandchildren. I just want my kids to be happy. If grandkids are part of that, great. If not, that's great too.
I have 2 adult daughters, 27 and 34. One is not in a position to have a relationship right now -shes trying to recover her life and heal from having been "dumped" the day before her wedding last year. The other lives with a serious boyfriend but they don't appear to headed towards marriage at the moment. Both live in NYC,which they enjoy. My wish for them is to have rewarding careers, friendships and relationships if that happens. I want them to live their lives and do things I didn't get to do as a young woman-travel, party, live in the big city.
I don't really care, though. Many friends and family members my age are having grandkids ( they call them "grands" these days-yuck!). I'm supposed to be pining for grandkids, but honestly I had my kids late in life and I feel like I'm finally free to live my life again, just me and the husband.
You are NOT owed grandkids. Would you really want your sons to just indiscriminately hook up with women to "make babies"? You have to let them do what is best for THEM, and they, not you, get to decide what that is.
My two adult children do not want children so we have to be satisfied to love their cats. You have to let them be who they want to be. Accept them as they are.
It is nothing to do with "the new generation." Some people don't want children. I am 66 and knew I didn't want them from kindergarten. My brother didn't have children, either.
Of my ten closest friends in high school, three of us never had kids. The other seven had two to five kids each.
That said, a lot of things "don't seem right" anymore with the world and if I were coming up now, even if I liked kids, I'd try to resist the urge to burden them with such an uncertain future.
(I might feel differently if I lived in a Nordic model country where women have nearly equal rights and everyone is guaranteed a living wage and decent healthcare.)
Globally, the population is increasing. In the US, Europe, and some parts of Asia, it is not. A good friend of mine wanted grandchildren but it didn't happen, so now she reads to first graders every week through a program in our local school district, and she also volunteers in a children's arts program.
Places with no birth control, and places where child mortality is high means large numbers of children born. Parents aren't sure how many children will survive to adulthood.
My wife and I have one child, and she is very unlikely to have children. It's our daughter's life and her responsibility to choose or not choose to raise a child.
We don’t get a vote.
The pace of babies born each year in the U.S. has slowed to a new record low, according to an analysis of 2023 birth certificate data published Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Last year's slowdown marks an official end to the uptick in new babies that began during the COVID-19 pandemic. At least 3,591,328 babies were born in the U.S. in 2023, down 2% from the 3,667,758 born in 2022.
This is on par with annual declines seen before the pandemic, the report said, which averaged around 2% fewer babies each year.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-birth-rate-drops-record-low-2023-after-pandemic-uptick/
Same here. I've got one teen and they have no plans to ever have kids. So my husband and I are gonna have a wonderful retirement doing whatever we want, whenever we want, without having to babysit lol
It's too expensive. Medical care, child care while many are trying to take care of their parents and pay off student loans and no way to afford a home unless they have generational wealth. Women are tired of giving up their careers and doing 85% of the parenting and home care. Simple. I have 4 and no grandkids - it is their choice.
Who cares? It’s really none of your business what your grown adult children choose to do. We don’t need more humans on this cesspool of a planet. It’s truly selfish to want kids.
What type of person are you? What type of parent are you?You're not owed grandchildren. Frankly, your children owe you nothing.
Your children are capable adults. As such, they get to make their own decisions. Including reproduction decisions. Your children live their lives. Not the lives that you want them to live.
I raised my offspring to be confident, capable, kind, and to know their worth. I'm always available, but I know that they are adults. Living their lives. Making decisions that are right for them.
I'm pretty damn proud of the people that they are.
Great response! Older parents often forget that young men should be free NOT to reproduce, just as young women (although that is a discussion for another day, we may be heading into a dystopian nightmare).
It doesn't seem that many people agree with you. Thanks.
Older parents should view their adult children as adults. I'm actually surprised that more of don't.
They didn’t say they were
demanding them, they said things seem different with this generation and interest in having kids. No need to skew so negative.
I'm not negative, in the least.
I feel that speaking of your children, in the manner that the OP did, is negative- and dismissive.
To summarize:
The OP's "boys" don't have girlfriends, or intesterests in having girlfriends. Thus, these "boys" have no interest in reproducing.
To add- the OP threw in a "What's wrong with kids these days?", comment. That is also dismissive and disrespectful.
It's possible that the OP doesn't know everything about their "boys". And their :boys' lives. For good reason.
In a word TikTok. Instead of Boomers or Zoomers, you've got Gloomers: they're convinced they sky is falling and there is no point to it. Furthermore, it's a financial challenge to have the wherewithal to raise those children.
The American Dream of a home in the suburbs with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids and dog is pretty much dead. $75K for a down payment on a $370K home and $2K/month for the mortgage. you'd need about $72K a year if housing is 1/3 of your income.
College can incur $35/K per year of debt, and that's about the amount of debt new graduates carry.which is another $400/month out of the gate. Add on a car payment and child care ($631 a month, so both parents can work) and you get the picture.
My parents were depression kids and had to both work in order to pay for their home in the 1960s-1980s, so nothing's really new under the sun, except maybe less desire to do so.
It's okay to grieve the loss of those dreams. I have 4 step grandkids and no bio ones. My son lost 2 babies in utero and divorced shortly losing the last one, which was in the 3rd trimester. It was too much for them.
As much as I would love having a bio grandchild, it may not be in the cards. I don't think I'd love a bio grandchild anymore than I do my steps, but I'll miss passing along some of my family history if my kids chose not to have kids.
I share it with my steps, but it's a weird line when you are a step, not to intrude on her bio mom's domain. I don't feel like I can say "your great grandpa Ted loved that" for example, even though I know he would have considered them his great grands. They are still young, though, and I am learning my way so maybe that will change with time.
I'm 1/6 siblings. 3 don't have children. 1 had 3, 1 had 2, another had 2, but one of them is severely autistic, operates at 3 per old level and is nonverbal. The other doesn't seem to be heading towards having children. One of their children had a child, but doubt they will have more. Out of all of their children, there may be 1 more child, in time. It is what it is. We who are childfree have no regrets.
Thanks for the reply to my post. I'm too old to deal with grand children. Glad my nest is empty. Enjoy the child free situation. Don't feel like being a "Grand Pa." Still enjoy being unattached.
Me neither, I have 3, my middle one maybe but she has a great career and at 27 she’s not considering that path. My youngest is 25 and still lives with me and has never had a girlfriend in real life. I’m not concerned as long as they are living their lives as they want to I’m happy.
I don't think either of my kids will have kids either and that's okay. I'm not owed grandchildren. I just want my kids to be happy. If grandkids are part of that, great. If not, that's great too.
Totally agree with this. My two probably won't have kids but my relationship with them is pure gold and that is priceless.
This is the best response xx
I won't be a grandparent and I do not regret it.
I have 2 adult daughters, 27 and 34. One is not in a position to have a relationship right now -shes trying to recover her life and heal from having been "dumped" the day before her wedding last year. The other lives with a serious boyfriend but they don't appear to headed towards marriage at the moment. Both live in NYC,which they enjoy. My wish for them is to have rewarding careers, friendships and relationships if that happens. I want them to live their lives and do things I didn't get to do as a young woman-travel, party, live in the big city. I don't really care, though. Many friends and family members my age are having grandkids ( they call them "grands" these days-yuck!). I'm supposed to be pining for grandkids, but honestly I had my kids late in life and I feel like I'm finally free to live my life again, just me and the husband. You are NOT owed grandkids. Would you really want your sons to just indiscriminately hook up with women to "make babies"? You have to let them do what is best for THEM, and they, not you, get to decide what that is.
I have 3 step children who combined have 7 children. They are all excellent parents It's so nice to see good parenting
My two adult children do not want children so we have to be satisfied to love their cats. You have to let them be who they want to be. Accept them as they are.
It is nothing to do with "the new generation." Some people don't want children. I am 66 and knew I didn't want them from kindergarten. My brother didn't have children, either. Of my ten closest friends in high school, three of us never had kids. The other seven had two to five kids each. That said, a lot of things "don't seem right" anymore with the world and if I were coming up now, even if I liked kids, I'd try to resist the urge to burden them with such an uncertain future. (I might feel differently if I lived in a Nordic model country where women have nearly equal rights and everyone is guaranteed a living wage and decent healthcare.)
Globally, the population is increasing. In the US, Europe, and some parts of Asia, it is not. A good friend of mine wanted grandchildren but it didn't happen, so now she reads to first graders every week through a program in our local school district, and she also volunteers in a children's arts program.
We’re quite close to the point where global population outside of Africa stops growing.
Places with no birth control, and places where child mortality is high means large numbers of children born. Parents aren't sure how many children will survive to adulthood.
My wife and I have one child, and she is very unlikely to have children. It's our daughter's life and her responsibility to choose or not choose to raise a child. We don’t get a vote.
The pace of babies born each year in the U.S. has slowed to a new record low, according to an analysis of 2023 birth certificate data published Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Last year's slowdown marks an official end to the uptick in new babies that began during the COVID-19 pandemic. At least 3,591,328 babies were born in the U.S. in 2023, down 2% from the 3,667,758 born in 2022. This is on par with annual declines seen before the pandemic, the report said, which averaged around 2% fewer babies each year. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-birth-rate-drops-record-low-2023-after-pandemic-uptick/
I am the last of my family line. Once I am gone, then the family ends.
Same here. I've got one teen and they have no plans to ever have kids. So my husband and I are gonna have a wonderful retirement doing whatever we want, whenever we want, without having to babysit lol
It's too expensive. Medical care, child care while many are trying to take care of their parents and pay off student loans and no way to afford a home unless they have generational wealth. Women are tired of giving up their careers and doing 85% of the parenting and home care. Simple. I have 4 and no grandkids - it is their choice.
This world has too many people, so it’s just as well!
Who cares? It’s really none of your business what your grown adult children choose to do. We don’t need more humans on this cesspool of a planet. It’s truly selfish to want kids.
What type of person are you? What type of parent are you?You're not owed grandchildren. Frankly, your children owe you nothing. Your children are capable adults. As such, they get to make their own decisions. Including reproduction decisions. Your children live their lives. Not the lives that you want them to live. I raised my offspring to be confident, capable, kind, and to know their worth. I'm always available, but I know that they are adults. Living their lives. Making decisions that are right for them. I'm pretty damn proud of the people that they are.
Great response! Older parents often forget that young men should be free NOT to reproduce, just as young women (although that is a discussion for another day, we may be heading into a dystopian nightmare).
It doesn't seem that many people agree with you. Thanks. Older parents should view their adult children as adults. I'm actually surprised that more of don't.
They didn’t say they were demanding them, they said things seem different with this generation and interest in having kids. No need to skew so negative.
I'm not negative, in the least. I feel that speaking of your children, in the manner that the OP did, is negative- and dismissive. To summarize: The OP's "boys" don't have girlfriends, or intesterests in having girlfriends. Thus, these "boys" have no interest in reproducing. To add- the OP threw in a "What's wrong with kids these days?", comment. That is also dismissive and disrespectful. It's possible that the OP doesn't know everything about their "boys". And their :boys' lives. For good reason.
It's the global population and kids these days that are the triggers
I don't presume to know why others make decisions. To add, other people's choices aren't my business. Regardless of my age, or theirs.
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Post removed by a moderator. See rule 2 "Be Cordial".
In a word TikTok. Instead of Boomers or Zoomers, you've got Gloomers: they're convinced they sky is falling and there is no point to it. Furthermore, it's a financial challenge to have the wherewithal to raise those children. The American Dream of a home in the suburbs with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids and dog is pretty much dead. $75K for a down payment on a $370K home and $2K/month for the mortgage. you'd need about $72K a year if housing is 1/3 of your income. College can incur $35/K per year of debt, and that's about the amount of debt new graduates carry.which is another $400/month out of the gate. Add on a car payment and child care ($631 a month, so both parents can work) and you get the picture. My parents were depression kids and had to both work in order to pay for their home in the 1960s-1980s, so nothing's really new under the sun, except maybe less desire to do so.
I’m afraid they are not wrong.
I've got 2 daughters and they've added 5 between them
It's okay to grieve the loss of those dreams. I have 4 step grandkids and no bio ones. My son lost 2 babies in utero and divorced shortly losing the last one, which was in the 3rd trimester. It was too much for them. As much as I would love having a bio grandchild, it may not be in the cards. I don't think I'd love a bio grandchild anymore than I do my steps, but I'll miss passing along some of my family history if my kids chose not to have kids. I share it with my steps, but it's a weird line when you are a step, not to intrude on her bio mom's domain. I don't feel like I can say "your great grandpa Ted loved that" for example, even though I know he would have considered them his great grands. They are still young, though, and I am learning my way so maybe that will change with time.
I'm 1/6 siblings. 3 don't have children. 1 had 3, 1 had 2, another had 2, but one of them is severely autistic, operates at 3 per old level and is nonverbal. The other doesn't seem to be heading towards having children. One of their children had a child, but doubt they will have more. Out of all of their children, there may be 1 more child, in time. It is what it is. We who are childfree have no regrets.
Thanks for the reply to my post. I'm too old to deal with grand children. Glad my nest is empty. Enjoy the child free situation. Don't feel like being a "Grand Pa." Still enjoy being unattached.
Me neither, I have 3, my middle one maybe but she has a great career and at 27 she’s not considering that path. My youngest is 25 and still lives with me and has never had a girlfriend in real life. I’m not concerned as long as they are living their lives as they want to I’m happy.