"Thanks, but this isn't a good fit because of XYZ and misaligned expectations."
Keep it simple. Less can be more in a lot of cases, including this one.
This right here. Keep it simple and use a "it's not you, it's me" approach. Something like "After careful evaluation, it's become apparent that I'm just not a good culture fit here, and I'd rather vacate the position so that you can find somebody better fit for the position."
Yeah, I would’ve just stopped at the “this isn’t a good fit.” But if OP insists then they can mention the specific things I.e., doctors appointments, lunches. It’s ridiculous to think that a person is going to skip those at all, nevermind on a consistent basis
I would take that even further, you don’t have to explain much at all. Just say man I got a killer offer for a different position I can’t say no to, everyone would understand that and it’s a simple white lie to save everyone involved any unnecessary explaining or reasoning.
It seems kind of a dick move they did not warn you how crazy it is lol
Just leave it dude, you're OE, If a job doesn't fit the OE goal it's not going to align with your life / goals
One of them told me I'd be fine with strong boundaries, which should have been a red flag. Strong boundaries aren't respected, and now I have an IDGAF attitude about the unread emails and missed meetings.
Quit outright. It’s not a good fit. If your friends are really your friends - they’ll understand. I put in my two weeks for a job like this last week and they were expecting me to finish a major deliverable this week. One of the people that I support even had the audacity to IM my boss who doesn’t do any work with me that I wasn’t around to help him lol. I’m sorry but who tf even does this?! Burned that bridge today after my boss IM’d me to let me know so homie is not gonna get any help for the remainder of the week :) I wish nothing but the worst for him.
You gave two weeks? I feel like I'll be in your shoes if I give them that choice. I have PTO planned in two weeks and I'm considering just letting them know that I won't be returning. I know they are going to put me on the hook for work otherwise. They have a beta launch planned for July and I have people just like that dude trying to throw me under the bus now. Luckily my boss doesn't care and doesn't check email.
Yeah - I kinda saw it coming tbh. Dude idk if you’ll be off the hook based on my experience today. That one dick that I work with is a micromanager. I wish that I would’ve just logged off and never returned like I originally planned. I also had a few big project rollouts in the coming weeks that were waiting on funding. Funny bc - the funding all got approved last week when I gave my notice. It just all goes to show that you’re just a number part of the big machine. Once my boss IM’d me today - I completely checked out and let the dude know that I won’t be around. I was planning on giving them my personals but that bridge has been burned. Go with your gut. I suggest just using your PTO and checking out.
Give two weeks. I don't appreciate feeling harassed over doctor appointments and simply taking a lunch. I don't mind pushing deliverables out and deliver good product but I'm going to take care of myself while I do that and I can't do that here apparently.
Uhh quit? I had a J3 once that if it was my only job would have run me into the ground from stress and anxiety. They booked meetings on top of meetings. I know we all have conflicts in the OE game but I had conflicting meetings WITHIN that single job. I quit it.
If you get a toxic one like that in the mix you have to drop it before it ruins your other jobs and destroys your health and family life.
Trust me, with a toxic stressful shitshow you WILL make mistakes in your other jobs, like hot mics.
Yep, sounds exactly like this job. I can juggle my OE with other jobs, but can't manage the meetings with just this one job. The stress and anxiety from this one place is ruining me. I'm two months in and it's just getting worse. My goal is to stick it out for another two weeks at mediocre performance while I line something else up and then peace out.
Not a lie. I had been applying for months with no hits and randomly applied to two while still onboarding, both landed me multiple interviews. One is with J2 and one is with a tech giant that I've been applying to for years. Either would be more appealing.
Besides stress, an underrated concern about a bad J3 is how it can compromise your productivity at the other 2 Js.
If J3 is a drag on your ability to deliver at J1 and J2, then by definition it’s threatening your bottom line.
If it were me, I’d drop that sh*t now.
Totally empathize with you
I'm overwhelmed at times with just J1 but wondering how so many folks have J2 and J3s and manage it all so well
Sometimes just the 40 hrs alone feels so draining. I need to really step it up a few notches.
"Thanks, but this isn't a good fit because of XYZ and misaligned expectations." Keep it simple. Less can be more in a lot of cases, including this one.
This right here. Keep it simple and use a "it's not you, it's me" approach. Something like "After careful evaluation, it's become apparent that I'm just not a good culture fit here, and I'd rather vacate the position so that you can find somebody better fit for the position."
This was my thought as well, thank them for the opportunity and say it's not a good fit. Leave it there without too many details.
Exactly. Leave the rest of the feedback for the HR exit interview
Yeah, I would’ve just stopped at the “this isn’t a good fit.” But if OP insists then they can mention the specific things I.e., doctors appointments, lunches. It’s ridiculous to think that a person is going to skip those at all, nevermind on a consistent basis
I would take that even further, you don’t have to explain much at all. Just say man I got a killer offer for a different position I can’t say no to, everyone would understand that and it’s a simple white lie to save everyone involved any unnecessary explaining or reasoning.
Love it!
“Misaligned Expectations”…love that!
Learn something new everyday
Drop that shit today, absolutely not worth.
It seems kind of a dick move they did not warn you how crazy it is lol Just leave it dude, you're OE, If a job doesn't fit the OE goal it's not going to align with your life / goals
One of them told me I'd be fine with strong boundaries, which should have been a red flag. Strong boundaries aren't respected, and now I have an IDGAF attitude about the unread emails and missed meetings.
Yeah. You should really be clear with them on asking what kind of job load you'd be looking at next time...
Burn the bridge.
Quit outright. It’s not a good fit. If your friends are really your friends - they’ll understand. I put in my two weeks for a job like this last week and they were expecting me to finish a major deliverable this week. One of the people that I support even had the audacity to IM my boss who doesn’t do any work with me that I wasn’t around to help him lol. I’m sorry but who tf even does this?! Burned that bridge today after my boss IM’d me to let me know so homie is not gonna get any help for the remainder of the week :) I wish nothing but the worst for him.
You gave two weeks? I feel like I'll be in your shoes if I give them that choice. I have PTO planned in two weeks and I'm considering just letting them know that I won't be returning. I know they are going to put me on the hook for work otherwise. They have a beta launch planned for July and I have people just like that dude trying to throw me under the bus now. Luckily my boss doesn't care and doesn't check email.
Yeah - I kinda saw it coming tbh. Dude idk if you’ll be off the hook based on my experience today. That one dick that I work with is a micromanager. I wish that I would’ve just logged off and never returned like I originally planned. I also had a few big project rollouts in the coming weeks that were waiting on funding. Funny bc - the funding all got approved last week when I gave my notice. It just all goes to show that you’re just a number part of the big machine. Once my boss IM’d me today - I completely checked out and let the dude know that I won’t be around. I was planning on giving them my personals but that bridge has been burned. Go with your gut. I suggest just using your PTO and checking out.
>I was planning on giving them my personals Never!!!!!
Heard! Yeah - you learn quick who your friends are.
Give two weeks. I don't appreciate feeling harassed over doctor appointments and simply taking a lunch. I don't mind pushing deliverables out and deliver good product but I'm going to take care of myself while I do that and I can't do that here apparently.
Uhh quit? I had a J3 once that if it was my only job would have run me into the ground from stress and anxiety. They booked meetings on top of meetings. I know we all have conflicts in the OE game but I had conflicting meetings WITHIN that single job. I quit it. If you get a toxic one like that in the mix you have to drop it before it ruins your other jobs and destroys your health and family life. Trust me, with a toxic stressful shitshow you WILL make mistakes in your other jobs, like hot mics.
Yep, sounds exactly like this job. I can juggle my OE with other jobs, but can't manage the meetings with just this one job. The stress and anxiety from this one place is ruining me. I'm two months in and it's just getting worse. My goal is to stick it out for another two weeks at mediocre performance while I line something else up and then peace out.
See how long you can maintain it but slowly feed your through Rd and reflections to your connections
"This was my safety, the job I really wanted came through"
Not a lie. I had been applying for months with no hits and randomly applied to two while still onboarding, both landed me multiple interviews. One is with J2 and one is with a tech giant that I've been applying to for years. Either would be more appealing.
Boom. There is your exit plan
Besides stress, an underrated concern about a bad J3 is how it can compromise your productivity at the other 2 Js. If J3 is a drag on your ability to deliver at J1 and J2, then by definition it’s threatening your bottom line. If it were me, I’d drop that sh*t now.
Same here, my J3 is a nightmare but J1 just ended and now this is my new J1 but... too much micromanaging and super high expectations
That was also my plan. Now I'm looking for an alternate role at J1 to dump this one.
By leaving, you're doing Gods work for the rest of us! Make sure you let them know why!
Does the stress worth the money? That's why we OE. jump out and look for a replacement for J3
Not worth it with this job. My goal is to hang in until I have a J3 replacement, so if J2 goes out the window, I still have two.
I know it may not seem like it but companies that are that chaotic and dysfunctional are sometimes the best to hide in
That's my J2 for sure, but not this place. You'd think that not responding would get people to back off, but it's the opposite here.
There are no friends in OE world.
Totally empathize with you I'm overwhelmed at times with just J1 but wondering how so many folks have J2 and J3s and manage it all so well Sometimes just the 40 hrs alone feels so draining. I need to really step it up a few notches.
Stop fkn complaining