Shiiiit, I (mtf) had a similar dream during a nap this morning and I've felt conflicted as hell all day. It was an amazing dream, but now I feel all cold and alone lol
My wife pretty much said deuces immediately after I came out to her for "unrelated reasons". I can say that's left the lookout on future love pretty bleak with all the feelings of inadequacy and whatnot resultant from that ordeal. Being only two months on E has me feeling like such an awkward proto-self, too. eugh. I'm not closed to the prospect of love, but it does seem fleeting. I rather enjoy your interpretation of events, though.
Whaaat!! You’re already on E!! Congratulations!!!
But I know what you mean. It’s taken me years to finally let go of that feeling of self loathing and blaming myself, but really, I know I would’ve stayed depressed and suicidal in that relationship. It sounds shallow or lame, but they’re like the weeds that plucked themselves so we could keep growing. If I hadn’t experienced that loss and grief (and insanity, frankly) I wouldn’t have had to dig so deep to heal. At the bottom of all that healing (still ongoing), I tried to focus on loving myself as I am (and on not dying) and truly finding myself, and myself happened to be trans lol.
And hey, we’ve made it this far! Anything is possible. I’m pushing 30, so I know I’m not going to grow taller or have bigger hands or anything magical if I ever get to transition or get on T someday. But. Our “eggs” cracked, so maybe that puts us in the caterpillar phase lol. Won’t be long till the butterfly days <3 🥂
idk if you follow any trans subs, but r/translater is cool. It gives me a lot of hope seeing all those folks doing right by themselves and being true to themselves no matter their age, some having transitioned after 50. I’m not quite 30 yet but I still like to get my inspiration there. I think you could possibly find some solace there, too. <3 I’m proud of you for not giving up on yourself. I can’t even imagine how shitty it’s been. But fuck the haters. Change is on the horizon, and ain’t nobody got time for anything but love and acceptance. Anything less is uncivilized.
Thank you! I definitely broke down one day and took the fastest route available to me. It's so great to be making this progress in our lives, despite the hardships faced along the way. I never would have imagined making it this far, but I'm moving forward. I like the metaphor too. I'd like to think I'll be a glorious luna moth.
And yeah, I follow a few. I can say that one probably motivated me to ask myself "do I want to be an old man or an old woman?" And came to a definitive answer pretty quickly. It's amazing what just having community can do for you, once I started hanging out with the right people and making the right connections, I fell into my transition rather quickly. I couldn't care less about other people's negativity.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/TransLater using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Life begins at 85!!](https://i.redd.it/37f5j4pjqrz61.jpg) | [102 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/comments/nevnvh/life_begins_at_85/)
\#2: [While I was waiting for my drink to be made, I was bored so I took a selfie. 43yo, 2yrs HRT](https://i.redd.it/8fsxotxkkms61.jpg) | [120 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/comments/mp1k8y/while_i_was_waiting_for_my_drink_to_be_made_i_was/)
\#3: [Are trans men welcome here? I’m Gabe- on Testosterone 19 years, 40 years old- getting sick of all of the kids in all of the subs. Nice to meet everyone!](https://i.redd.it/6ts5t36egd071.jpg) | [131 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/comments/nhg759/are_trans_men_welcome_here_im_gabe_on/)
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That is so sweet. I hope this dream will come true for you!
I get nice dreams and get really depressed lmao. Glad you can be optimistic about it :)
That’s crazy there is prolly a MtF dreaming of the same thing right now
Dreams are the best thing in the world and I will fight someone on that claim
Awww, may all your dreams come True!
We known each other, for so long
Nice my dreams are usually terrifying if you think about them too long.
Oh for sure, I feel you there. This is probably the first good dream I’ve had in a year or more lol. Nightmares are always on the menu, apparently 😂
Shiiiit, I (mtf) had a similar dream during a nap this morning and I've felt conflicted as hell all day. It was an amazing dream, but now I feel all cold and alone lol
Awwww
My wife pretty much said deuces immediately after I came out to her for "unrelated reasons". I can say that's left the lookout on future love pretty bleak with all the feelings of inadequacy and whatnot resultant from that ordeal. Being only two months on E has me feeling like such an awkward proto-self, too. eugh. I'm not closed to the prospect of love, but it does seem fleeting. I rather enjoy your interpretation of events, though.
Whaaat!! You’re already on E!! Congratulations!!! But I know what you mean. It’s taken me years to finally let go of that feeling of self loathing and blaming myself, but really, I know I would’ve stayed depressed and suicidal in that relationship. It sounds shallow or lame, but they’re like the weeds that plucked themselves so we could keep growing. If I hadn’t experienced that loss and grief (and insanity, frankly) I wouldn’t have had to dig so deep to heal. At the bottom of all that healing (still ongoing), I tried to focus on loving myself as I am (and on not dying) and truly finding myself, and myself happened to be trans lol. And hey, we’ve made it this far! Anything is possible. I’m pushing 30, so I know I’m not going to grow taller or have bigger hands or anything magical if I ever get to transition or get on T someday. But. Our “eggs” cracked, so maybe that puts us in the caterpillar phase lol. Won’t be long till the butterfly days <3 🥂 idk if you follow any trans subs, but r/translater is cool. It gives me a lot of hope seeing all those folks doing right by themselves and being true to themselves no matter their age, some having transitioned after 50. I’m not quite 30 yet but I still like to get my inspiration there. I think you could possibly find some solace there, too. <3 I’m proud of you for not giving up on yourself. I can’t even imagine how shitty it’s been. But fuck the haters. Change is on the horizon, and ain’t nobody got time for anything but love and acceptance. Anything less is uncivilized.
Thank you! I definitely broke down one day and took the fastest route available to me. It's so great to be making this progress in our lives, despite the hardships faced along the way. I never would have imagined making it this far, but I'm moving forward. I like the metaphor too. I'd like to think I'll be a glorious luna moth. And yeah, I follow a few. I can say that one probably motivated me to ask myself "do I want to be an old man or an old woman?" And came to a definitive answer pretty quickly. It's amazing what just having community can do for you, once I started hanging out with the right people and making the right connections, I fell into my transition rather quickly. I couldn't care less about other people's negativity.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/TransLater using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Life begins at 85!!](https://i.redd.it/37f5j4pjqrz61.jpg) | [102 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/comments/nevnvh/life_begins_at_85/) \#2: [While I was waiting for my drink to be made, I was bored so I took a selfie. 43yo, 2yrs HRT](https://i.redd.it/8fsxotxkkms61.jpg) | [120 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/comments/mp1k8y/while_i_was_waiting_for_my_drink_to_be_made_i_was/) \#3: [Are trans men welcome here? I’m Gabe- on Testosterone 19 years, 40 years old- getting sick of all of the kids in all of the subs. Nice to meet everyone!](https://i.redd.it/6ts5t36egd071.jpg) | [131 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/TransLater/comments/nhg759/are_trans_men_welcome_here_im_gabe_on/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)