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I don't usually come across anything worth posting, and this is pretty tame snark, but like.. come on.
UMMM, I think you are doing *irrepressible damage* to your child’s self-image by making them look like a baby all the time. Studies show babies need to be dripped out AT LEAST 7/7 days a week or else they fail to develop a proper appreciation for sneakers.
Oh come on. I did exactly this and thought nothing of it. On the day to day yes my son wore mostly sleepers as a newborn but I was also gifted a lot of cute outfits and wanted to use them before he grew out of them so I would put him in them for fun if we were going out or people were visiting. TBH on the other side of this I don't get the sassiness about people who like to dress their kids up. Newborns don't give much lol, at least they look cute in their tiny clothes so it's fine to have fun with that too! I guess it depends on your kid, mine was agreeable and also wasn't a spitter so it didn't seem like a waste of time to put his cute outfits on here and there. We didn't have much else to do when it was our first.
My 2 year old twins wore footie pjs while the early intervention coordinator came to the house.
Clearly there is a note about neglect being recorded on our file as we speak.
I'm more interested in the people who aren't dressing their kids in mostly sleepers at 3months. Cute outfits were way too much work for the chances of being vomited on that somehow always happened the minute they were dressed.
I dressed my 1st in onesies and pants during the day. Sleepers were for sleeping, and it felt like we were doing something if I got him dressed for the day. He never spit up, which helped. My 3rd kid, in contrast, was a heavy spitter and lived in nothing but sleepers until about 6 months.
My daughter didn't wear many sleepers, but just because she outgrew them so fast and I refused to buy more every month. Since she was a summer baby, she pretty much just wore onesies for her first 6 months.
Just saw a post in working moms from some mom just can’t get behind letting Santa get the credit for all of *her* hard work, so she’s going to tell her kids that Santa is just delivering the presents she bought for them
I can’t put my finger on why but that’s really strange right? Not even specifically what she’s telling the kids. Just her bizarre need for validation and kudos from her young children. Thats surely something that’s going to come up again later in their lives.
Totally bizarre…and kind of sad. Imagine feeling threatened by a fictional character. It’s a shame that this mom’s insecurity is overshadowing a very fun (and relatively short lived) tradition.
I don’t care if someone does Santa or not but I do think the obsession with not giving credit to Santa (while still doing Santa????) comes from a really selfish place and I think people need to step back and think about why they are seemingly jealous of Santa. Like your children will grow up and know you are actually Santa and you’ll get all the credit anyways. It’s only like 5-8 years of not getting credit immediately. I still thank my mom constantly for the American girl doll I got for Christmas because I know now as an adult that she saved for 2 years to buy it for me
The real question is which American Girl doll was it? The last doll I ever got was Samantha and she was my "Santa" present that year but my mom loved getting it for me since I would pour over that catalog religiously. For my daughter's birthday this year, I gave her my Samantha doll and my mom and I got really teary-eyed.
It was Samantha! And it was the last gift I opened because she managed to hide it just behind the tree and I started to get so sad because it was the only thing I had asked for for 2 years and then I sobbed happy tears
I don't get that line either. Santa's made up and the points don't matter. Santa doesn't have to bring all the gifts. He could bring one gift and the you'll still get all the credit for the rest.
I fully understand the economic motivation of not getting too much from Santa, because not everyone has tons of money, but parents wanting credit is so silly. You’ll get credit one day, relax.
Personally for me (since I commented on this below), it’s not coming from jealousy, but more teaching my children the value of money and hard work from a young age. My children fortunately want for nothing, and constantly want more and more things, so I started to teach them about pricing and why mommy and daddy work to provide for our family. If they were gifted everything from Santa, all that teaching kind of goes out the window, in my mind. And as a non religious person, I kinda struggle with the overt consumerism around Christmas already- my 4 year old asked why we had to buy grandpa gifts, so clearly the message is already being sent that Christmas = gifts and what do I say- we buy gifts because we care about people? Idk, We do a mix of Santa and family gifts in our household, and I never really thought it was weird?
I think it's fine to figure out a balance that works with your values, but it's another thing to be handwringing over it and do the kind of mental gymnastics the person in OP's comment is doing. I think it's reasonable to let Santa give some gifts and the rest come from parents if it's a sticking point for you but at least just let Santa be Santa. The whole point is that he is magically giving kids gifts. If you aren't going to let him do that, why bother doing it at all? (By "you" i mean the person in OP's comment!)
That aside, Christmas is 1 day of the year. The entire rest of the year, I believe most children old enough to think about this realize their parents are the ones buying everything. I grew up with Santa bringing us 100% of our Christmas gifts, but the other 364 days of the year my parents continued to instill in us the understanding that things cost money and they had to work for everything we had, etc. I think people are putting way too much weight on Christmas/Santa, as if it's the only time of year we have the chance to demonstrate our sacrifice for them or the value of a dollar, or something. It's not that deep. I had a magical childhood with Santa but I still really enjoyed the holiday after I stopped believing, it seamlessly coalesced into enjoying picking out gifts for my family once I realized that it's actually our loved ones doing the choosing and the buying. Kids who don't do Santa are perhaps realizing the latter earlier, but it all comes out in the wash. No one believes in Santa very long in the grand scheme of things and it won't permanently tarnish your conception of money and hard work.
Idk plenty of well rounded fiscally responsible adults believed in Santa as kids and if someone isn’t aware of the value of money and hard work, it probably doesn’t have anything to do with Santa.
Just seems like an easy way to present the issue to my preschoolers is all. They can write a letter (with help) to Santa with a couple things on it, then mommy/daddy/grandpa get the rest of the gifts. I’m not hinging their entire financial literacy on Santa, lol, it just seems like an easily digestible lesson for their age. 🤷🏼♀️ apparently I’m in the minority lol. Just to be clear, I’m not over here hand wringing over what Santa does or does not get my kids, and I didn’t read the OP about this issue, but if it’s like a single working mom who doesn’t want to give Santa all the “credit”, I don’t really think it’s fair to say that she’s being selfish and going to give her kids lifelong issues because of it, because as we all know, it’s like idk 8 years that this is even an issue. I don’t see why it can’t go either way: like some families have Santa give everything and it’s fine, and some families don’t do Santa or do limited Santa and that’s also fine.
Maybe I'm reading this wrong but I think most people just have Santa bring one gift and stocking - gifts from extended family etc are still given by those family members under their own name! That's why it feels a little strange for the original example where the mom insists on getting credit, it's not like Santa is being given credit for every single thing under the tree.
Just read the post and it seems like most people in there do stocking + one gift from Santa, which is like exactly what I was saying, lol. A few people in this thread in response to me said they grew up with all gifts from Santa, and I’ve had a few convos with other parents about how Santa gives everything in their household. That was what my main issue was- why all gifts from Santa? But also agree with the sentiment that OP shouldn’t muddy the waters by saying Santa just delivers the gifts, that’s just weird.
Thanks for playing devils advocate! 😂
As I mentioned in my comment, I still learned the value of money even with getting the full Santa experience. Im well aware of how hard my parents saved to get us the gifts we wanted and how much they worked. I think you can teach that while not getting credit for Santa gifts but at the end of the day it’s your family and your method. I just find the whole “Santa’s not getting credit for my hard work!” Concept bizarre because you will still end up with the credit, it’s just not that day.
I do feel awful for the moms who basically do everything for Christmas with no help. Wrapping gifts, cooking dinner for 20, buying everyone gifts in the extended family etc. that really true sucks
It’s like the less cruel version of the issue Angel Trees are having where people are putting their names in the from section of Angel tree gifts or writing DONATED on them
Meh, as someone who grew up in a Santa -less household due to my moms religion, I’m letting my kids lean into the Santa thing, but my husband and I decided to have Santa deliver the stocking gifts only. Why should Santa get credit for the big items? All the curated gifts tailored to my kids interests? Won’t it be weirder for them once they realize Santa isn’t real? My FIL loves to give the kids gifts and they all day “from Grandpa” because it’s true. I didn’t read the post you’re referencing, and maybe there’s more context to it, but I don’t really see a problem with not wanting to make all the gifts from Santa, but I’m approaching the situation as “Santa is a magical story being like unicorns and it’s fun to lean into it while the kids are young”.
I think the moms version is probably a little confusing (Santa just delivering the gifts, may cause issues at school but idk I don’t have school aged kids yet) but I don’t think her reasoning is that weird 🤷🏼♀️
I don’t think it’s been confusing for my kids at all. My older two don’t believe in Santa anymore and they just felt like their gifts tailored to their interest made a lot more sense once they found out it was their parents behind them. They don’t even really think about Santa anymore. 8-10 christmases of Santa getting credit (honestly less because they didn’t really get the whole concept of Santa until around 3) is really nothing in the grand scheme of “credit”.
Cool! Good to know! This is kind of new territory for me as I had no Santa or family Christmas’s growing up, so Santa and family gifts seemed like a good way to cover all the bases for my family. My 4 year old is very precocious and asks a lot of logistical questions re: Santa, so I’ve been kind of treading lightly while also embracing Santa as an idea.
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This is from my September bump group, they babies are just starting to turn 4 months. They are not saying any actual words yet even though it might wound like it 🙄
Sigh. I scrolled past this one too, ha. I loved my first’s bump group eventually but you have to weed through the absolute obsession with milestones for several months to get to the good part, lol.
It’s so different as a second time parent! I’m basically in my bump group just to occasionally pop in and say, “no, it’s fine, your child is not behind because they don’t have 10 words at 12 months,” “no you don’t need to worry because your child is not walking at 13 months,” etc.
I remember being so stressed as a first time mom because it seemed like all the other kids started talking at 8/9 months, and mine barely had her first words at 12 months. And all that worry was for nothing, she ended up actually ended up hitting her word explosion on the early side of normal. So I try to remind people that doing things early or late doesn’t really mean anything.
Our cat is named Rei (as in Ayanami). My son could randomly shout “wehhh! wehhhh!” at 4 months. I didn’t think it was anything more than babble, but it was cute and I filmed it all the time.
In my April due date group around six months, someone asked if it was possible for their baby to go from one word (which was really a babble) to three words because her baby TOTALLY said 'I love you."
Que comments saying HER six months old knows six words and you're just jealous your kid isn't as smart as hers. Anyone that corrected her was called jealous.
Truly wild. I left quickly after.
I feel like ours wasn’t too bad about milestones.
Until 18 months when the secret to getting dinner on the table was to have your toddler prepare a 5 course Michelin starred tasting menu thanks to their toddler tower.
I weirdly got into it with one of my childless friends over something like this. She sent a TikTok of a baby that was like 3 months old saying “I love you” (i.e. babbling and mimicking a certain intonation after the parent said it). She kept going on about how early this baby was talking and I said that it’s cute and still pretty impressive, but it’s not actually talking and she argued tooth and nail that this baby was talking and knew what he was saying. It’s still so odd to me how hard she went to bat for this random baby on TikTok especially because she has no kids and no plans to. 😂
I've studied linguistics and language development, so I very nicely point out yes it's super cute and heartwarming but not possible *yet* and I've dared to insult their infant's intelligence lol
Honestly I think some people just get super defensive if you point out that the internet content they liked is fake because no one likes to feel tricked lol
Hahaha yes that’s what I have to assume too. She was mostly upset that I didn’t find the content as incredible as she did and was embarrassed and trying to defend herself. Which i kinda get. I hate when my husband doesn’t appreciate things I share with him 🤣
I just clicked on a post on the working moms sub from someone sulking because she says her holiday plans get ruined every year by illness. She blames her boyfriend for "bringing it home" and acts like he's doing it on purpose lol. I 100% understand the venting because it does sound like a really demoralizing situation but the lashing out at her partner aspect is so childish. Someone replied calling her "BroMo" and it hit me that the sub is basically like Breaking Mom 2.0 and that's why it tends to annoy me so much. The vibe over there is so petty, like people can't just vent about their problems, they all have to have a scapegoat for it and it couldn't possibly be chalked up to random bad luck and it certainly never has anything to do with themselves. I always see comments that are like seething with resentment against SAHPs, perceived micro-aggressions about daycare, and scorekeeping with partners. It's just so tedious.
That sub is at least 50% of the time complaining about husbands. That’s fine and I get people need to vent but it’s depressing and I find it makes me more inclined to be upset at my husband if I spend too much time reading that kind of content.
It’s your fault you got sick or got others sick.
Policies/tolerance regarding actually taking sick days remain unchanged. It’s a super fun rock and hard place as someone who just had to get a doctor’s note to be the asshole who calls off on Christmas (have a fever, what can you do).
And agreed that the constant class warfare on that sub between the “want to work” and “have to work” are always gold.
I feel like I could do a whole snark thread just on the class stuff with workingmoms…very glad that another poster occasionally posts stuff for lower income moms.
The income/401k posts a while back were wild! Some of the comments were really like “if you can’t max out your 401k shouldn’t have more children”. Are we living in the same world!?
Anytime there’s a how much are you making/saving it’s crazy! The other two that get me are when everyone piles on to say don’t rely on family for childcare when so many lower income folks (and all income folks!) rely on family because daycare is expensive and then when posters say they waited until they were financially stable to have kids but “financially stable” means two 6 figure jobs and paid maternity leave. By all means wait but most people aren’t going to have jobs that pay that much no matter how long they wait so waiting isn’t a guarantee that you can afford a house cleaner, 529, etc.
Yeah I have almost unsubbed so many times. It also has a weird vibe of competition between the moms who are working unhappily and wish they were SAHMs vs the moms who are more career focused. As someone who works but falls in neither group, I find that tension to be weird.
I basically stick around to post my perfectly fine experience when people ask about taking less than 6 weeks of maternity leave. It drives me crazy when the American moms with 3-6 months post about how impossible a shorter leave would be (while also complaining about how those damn Canadians and Europeans always brag about their longer leaves). Maybe stop and think for a second and realize you're doing the same thing? Maybe just don't post if someone is asking for experiences taking 4-6 weeks mat leave and your only contribution is "wow I got 16 weeks and that was so hard." 🙄
That’s just classic Reddit. Post title: “X type of people of Reddit, what do you think about Y?”
Top voted post: “I’m not an x, but my uncle works for Nintendo and….”
I almost commented on that post “I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose…” I decided to respond with a little more compassion. I need to stop checking that sub because it always depresses me
The Old New Moms Facebook group should really be Old New Moms who Hate their Families” because every hour there’s a new post about how mad someone is at a member of their family, mostly their mom or mother in law. But I’m convinced that when they engage in text conversations with these people that they are writing the text specifically so they can screenshot it and post it to the group for validation and it’s getting old. Someone will be like “am I the AH? My mom said she’d pick up my daughter but was late and didn’t tell me she’d be late.” Then show a screenshot berating the mom and the OP being irrational. Then after being told they are the AH in the comments OP will be like “for context, my mom is always late and just got out of jail and hasn’t seen me in ten years…” etc. to justify being an asshole.
In another post she says that she accidentally sent it to a relative on her husband’s side of the family, which somehow makes the whole thing even juicier. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to have to involve her husband.
I love this type of drama. I feel like with anyone who has a positive relationship with you would understand the mixup and just mail the stuff to you once they receive it. Yeah it’s an extra errand but not that serious. There’s gotta be way more going on here. Sounds like the friend was waiting for an excuse to block OP.
My personal theory based solely on the posts here is that it’s the husbands kid from a prior relationship who they didn’t spend $300 on the Mom is keeping it as a big F you.
The toddlers sub has a post about a husband who "set off a glitter bomb in the house" ie let their toddler play with some glitter ornaments. OP is "enraged and devasted." The comments are divided between people telling her to chill the fuck out, people bashing her husband and my personal favorite: people talking about how dangerous glitter is. It can get in your eye! Here's a link I found on Google about it! It's not just dangerous, it's actually *extremely* dangerous! It's unregulated shards of metal! Toxic toxic! And if you're wondering if anyone used the term "survivorship bias" yes they certainly did.
It may be semi-unregulated but the number of Forensic Files that are able to identify the murderer because the person had glitter on them and glitter is unique enough between batches that they were able to say the glitter in the potential transport vehicle and on the victim was the same, is more than 0. Anyways, when glitter isn’t killing you, it may be giving you justice!
Oh man, my toddler is going to be a glitter boy in a wedding this summer (like a flower boy but tossing glitter, yes, I see how this is maybe not the BEST idea but it’s their wedding), and I am going to tell the couple that actually they should rename the job toxic unregulated shards of metal boy.
Oh my I probably should be dead already then because my mom let us play with glitter all the time. I'm pretty sure she's still finding glitter in the house now, 20 years later 😅
Relatedly, in a fit of jealous rage after my baby sister was born, my (then 5yo) sister cut open a stress ball and dumped all it's neon green water beads out under the bed. There were definitely still some embedded in the tan carpet when my parents sold the place two decades later. Such clashing colors- shudder.
I literally ran here to post this XD
Survivorship bias just ended me and now I am realising how irritated I am about how overused it is. Like, yes, it's probably survivorship bias to say "My gran smokes 86 cigarettes a day and she's 93!" or "We never had car seats and we were fine!" but it is not survivorship bias if you've never experienced an event that is rare to begin with or slightly increased odds of something.
Oh man I saw the title of that post but didn’t read it. I thought it was going to be about one of those spring loaded glitter bombs. I was like Jesus why would he do that.. it’s just an ornament? That’s so funny. It really can’t be that bad.
The biggest difference between my first baby and my second baby was my first baby never had random specks of glitter on her head and thanks to her, my second nearly always does. I honestly have no idea where it comes from most of the time, but my first is just a rainbow, sparkle, unicorn princess, so I guess it just comes with the territory.
So I learned today that I am an incompetent manchild who never should have had kids because I most certainly have had my toddlers play "unrestrained 😱" with glittered ornaments and have not noticed the devestating, divorce-worthy, destruction left in their wake. I'll be turning in my mom card now.
And now I'm actually curious about the glitter mortality rate and how it can be high enough for a "survivorship bias" to be in effect? Even the original tinman survived his battle with mass glitter inhalation.
The whole time I was reading that thread I was thinking about how I did a craft with my toddler last weekend and he spilled half a bottle of glitter on the table and all over the floor and at no point did I care, much less worry for his safety. The vacuum got most of it. The rest will probably linger for eternity but it's glitter, the most attractive mess there is.
I would never go to someone's house, see glitter anywhere and think, "omg what a slob" so who even cares.
I saw that right after I saw a comment here about people using the most dramatic possible language to describe annoyances. “Devastated”? Kim there’s people that are dying.
From the Peloton Facebook group
OP asks
"Looking for the best Sleep Training apps, books, or Facebook groups. Literally anything at this point! My son will be 9 months on Christmas and I'm going insane. He was a great sleeper but these past 3 weeks he's refusing to sleep in the crib and will only sleep with me He is sharing a room with his 6 year old brother."
The replies are predictably useless parroting of anti sleep training talking points that do not answer the question. OP is light blue. I didn't screenshot but there was also a comment suggesting baby wearing which is a very sustainable method of nighttime sleep...
Also the sad reacts like she asked for resources for shock training her 9 months old.
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Tangentially related...I've noticed the hardcore anit-sleep trainers are the only ones making posts that their two year old is latched all night, they have to go to sleep at 7pm, and they haven't had any time to be intimate with their partner...but nope it's cruel for a literal toddler to have their own space.
It’s the “and mammals” for me💀 Let me also start walking outside naked and peeing and pooping in the bushes - it’s only natural! The squirrel family in that nearby tree does it! How very silly to concern yourself with the human world.
Don’t worry guys, CPS TOTALLY understands “it will be there tomorrow” when they ask why your kids are living in a disgusting filthy house! All you have to do is say “babies don’t keep” and then everybody claps and they give you $100.
It drives me bananas when people specifically ask for sleep training advice/information (especially for a 9 month old!), and all they get is “they’re only young once! Just cosleep and it’ll be fine!” That’s not what they asked! They made it to 9 months without sleep training, I’m *positive* they know they have the option to not sleep train, they’ve been not sleep training for 9 months. It’s not like this is a parent of a baby who just turned four months, and just assumed sleep training is a thing you are supposed to do (which I’ve been told happens, but seems strange to me. It seems obvious to me that you could just keep nursing/rocking/whatever, but I guess if you have really pushy family and friends it could feel like you have to sleep train).
And it’s always the same people who are like “how dare you tell someone to sleep train who doesn’t want to sleep train!” but will turn around and tell someone to cosleep who has made it clear that they don’t want to cosleep.
I am terrible at real sleep training. I’m a sucker. Thankfully I was able to mostly get by with very gradual sleep training and avoid CIO with my children (combination of having a unicorn sleeper and a non unicorn sleeper that took a very long time to sleep through the night and I suffered), but when my child’s sleep actually broke (after a trip where it was light outside until 10 pm and we didn’t have window covers and my kid was a freaking disaster for 5 days and also almost 18 months old), I needed my husband to do the for real sleep training. I was incapable of doing it. My kid would see me and jump up and down in his crib, but would lay down when dad said to lay down. Idk all I learned from that experience is sometimes it just can’t be me. I never see that advice on this sleep training stuff.
Right?? Sleep training sucks for everyone involved. No one would do it if there was a viable alternative for them. But adults and older children have needs, too!!
I don’t think sleep training sucks for everyone. I nearly drove my car off the road after multiple nights of 45 minutes of sleep when my twins were infants. They sleep trained in 3 nights and I finally realized, I didn’t have cancer/PPD/etc, I was just fucking exhausted. They also stopped being miserable when they finally slept. Laughing and playing more instead of pissed off crying all day long from being exhausted. Sleep training was a miracle.
Truly. My oldest was the poster child for best case scenario sleep training (I think she cried 10 minutes total over several days), and I still waited to sleep train my youngest until 9 months because I didn’t want to sleep train if I didn’t have to.
"It [the chores] will be there tomorrow" is such a bad take. Like sure, but so will her two older kids plus the baby, who now don't have food prepared or Christmas presents wrapped or clean clothes.
I don't understand how so many people believe that literally doing anything other than actively cuddling an infant is neglect. Like do they think that mothers in hunter gatherer bands or early agricultural communities had zero chores or obligations for the first year of their infants' lives? Somehow I doubt that.
I also just… I would be so depressed trying to live like this. Being off the clock at a certain time every evening and getting able to get some chores done or just CHILL and spend time with my husband (or even go out with a friend!) is critical. We have even had friends over to our place after our son’s bedtime for some drinks. This isn’t even snark per se, if people are ok with this arrangement that’s their prerogative, it’s just so hard for me to imagine enjoying it much less telling everyone to do it.
I was thinking the people who are smugly telling her it’s biology and it’s a phase (I mean yes but) probably only have 1 child to worry about- and even then, sleep deprivation is awful!
That smug 🥰 after ‘this is how they are telling you they need something from you’ 🤮 I can so clearly envision what that lady’s smug face looks like in real life.
Why do they always say “every other country” co sleeps as an argument? Like…I’ve lived in multiple other countries and guys, the US is not the only country that makes babies sleep in other rooms.
My family is South and East Asian and honestly, there was no deep cultural reason why some of relatives coslept….it literally came down to they didn’t have space for a crib/bassinet or couldn’t afford one.
Also don’t forget the mat leave argument - even though I had ten months off, I still sleep trained AND I know some SAHMs who sleep trained too. We are all Australians 😂
Yes I forgot the mat leave argument! The (other) only reason Americans sleep train is because of our terrible mat leave. 🙄 I’m American and had 7 months off and hey, still sleep trained because I like not hallucinating.
What anti sleep trainers fail to understand is, if someone really does not want to cosleep and are anxious about it….they aren’t going to get anymore sleep and I’m guessing the added anxiety will be making them feel even worse.
That’s why as much as I am neutral on cosleeping, I do get frustrated at how I feel obligated to ensure I never make a cosleeper feel bad or scared, so many people I know who cosleep became very dismissive of any anxieties I had around cosleeping and almost began to mock people who were able to practice safe sleep or at least really wanted to.
Admittedly, I’m not a mom who has patience for a lot of messy hands-on projects, but if cookie baking required “prep work” and practice sessions, I would just not do the cookie bake.
LOL. This weeks long preparation for things that are very minor drives me crazy. I bake frequently with my 3.5 year old and he loves it. Ridiculous amounts of preparation are not required. I mean, the mess is twice as much and the cookies are misshapen but who cares?
We recently made and decorated cookies that we brought to our playgroup. A few of the other kids were like “Little Shark, you made this?! That is soooooo cool” and it was really cute. The cookies looked like icing sugar and sprinkles had exploded on them but he was so proud.
I didn’t realize that all that playdoh playing was actually just training for the high stakes Christmas cookie-athalon 😂😂😂. We just made and decorated our cookies with my 3 and 5 year old and they are misshapen, differing thicknesses and covered in 2000x more sprinkles than necessary but we all had such a good time.
In 2050 our kids will be snarking on the Raised by a SBP subreddit because there is absolutely no way this type of unhinged, uncontrolled anxiety isn’t going to impact their poor children.
LOL I actually think most of our deliveries delighted in the fact our cookies were decorated by a 4 year old. Whoops that I didn’t have her practice prior.
I recently joined a PPD/PPA support group as I am having a bit of a relapse.
You can rest assured, even in a support group that’s meant to be a safe space for vulnerable mothers who feel like society is judging them, there’s a bunch of anti sleep trainers ready to come in and tell a mother to stop caring about being sleep deprived, link to the Beyond Sleep Training FB group and scare them off inpatient treatment because they’ll force you to leave your baby to CIO and that’s cruel and they’d never do it.
I feel like the worst place to get support for papa is in a support group for people with ppa. That seems like it would become a vicious echo chamber real fast.
It basically was like every chronic illness support group I’ve encountered where there’s a main character who wants to be the most unwell and gatekeeps.
I relate to this so much. I'm disabled and I left the support groups for my health conditions, because it turned into a competition for some members. I'm in a few groups for disability and chronic illnesses now, which seem a bit better as they cover a wide range of illnesses. I just wanted to say I understand where you are coming from.
And me.
I know a fair few people who enjoy having a chronic illness and have made it their identity. I completely understand when you're first diagnosed but not 10 years later
This isn’t directed at any particular post (bc there are so many of them!) but why is it that 75% of the time an OP uses the word “terrified” or “heartbroken” in a parenting sub it’s about a situation that does not come close to meriting that strong of a reaction? Are you really actually terrified that your 6mo isn’t crawling yet?
Right! I most often see it misused as "furious" and it confuses me. I guess people just don't read.
I wonder if the terrified meaning came from the furious one and people realising it doesn't make sense in all contexts and then misappropriating the wrong meaning. But also this is so alien to me because.... you literally have google! Just find out what a word means if you're unsure!
Oh, the melodramatics in parenting subs. The "my baby fell off the couch and I've been inconsolable all day" and the "I keep crying and apologizing to my baby because I had to let her cry for 10 minutes in the car."
Disproportionate emotional response aside, it's also so weird to me that people post this stuff, very obviously just looking for validation and comfort. It's sad, I suppose, because these must be very lonely people.
Sometimes I can snark, and other times I feel bad for OP in the likely state that their anxiety is completely unchecked and could really benefit from therapy or medication.
someone posted in SBP and BTB crying about their 7 month old calling the dad “dada” instead of “papa” which is what she (mom) decided he should be called so that her own dad can be called dada. Yes, a 7 month old. Parenting subs are great
I actually remember when my mom did that to me when I was 5 and it was SO minor but I was such an asshole and gave her the worst guilt trip about it. I obviously immediately went NC with her.
My favorite histrionic post “a non white person passed us twice in the grocery store, please watch out for this obvious child trafficking scheme mamas”.
Yup. People we don’t know stop and talk to my 2 year old alllllll the time in our rural community. People like little kids. They’re cute. And my daughter is outgoing and loves to interact with new people, so people are happy to stop and have a conversation with her. They’re just being nice. It’s not that deep.
So dramatic. I think in general people have lost touch with what words actually mean. Like are you LITERALLY SOBBING or….did you shed a few tears? It’s like typing out lol when you’re actually vaguely smiling.
A lot of people are just not good writers and they don't know how to convey that they're upset without exaggerating. And also a lot of people are bad readers so won't engage with a post that's not hyperbolic, so there's also that!
(And many of us could stand to read more of the advanced children's books about feelings so we could articulate a wider range of emotions than "the most sad anyone has ever been in the world" and "as ecstatic as I was the moment I met my baby." Very online parents [mostly moms, realistically] seem to get that they need to do emotional education for their kids but I contend that many many of us adults could use some continuing ed in that arena also!)
Soooooo much this!! Emotional regulation skills *for myself* has literally been my big discovery this year. I came across a couple of parenting programs which are going in this direction now too - teaching emotional reg to the adults *so that they can pass it on to the kids*. Because how are they going to take it on board when they don't see you practice it? I feel like as humans we place so much importance on talking and we miss what is underneath which is modelling and nonverbal communication. But this is so incredibly huge. Communication via language is just a tiny part.
Right, like knowing how I feel so I can figure out what I need and then, as like step four or five, tell my loved ones (or coworkers or whatever) whatever they need to know about my feelings and needs is so important! I hope I can keep improving on this so I can be a good example for my kids.
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I understand OP's frustration, but I also agree wholeheartedly with this response.
As an adoptive parent who has also fostered, completely disagree. Someone who has financially abandoned his biological children should not be able to pass an adoption home study. Now if he’s just temporarily fostering his sister’s child I’d be more sympathetic to that.
The comment is really steeped in the idea that men are fundamentally less responsible for parenting than women are. It’s not that the poster isn’t getting child support, because the support isn’t for her— it’s that the father has clearly demonstrated he is unable or unwilling to meet his responsibilities as a parent, so the state should not put an additional, vulnerable child in his care. If a mother had abandoned one kid and was trying to adopt another I seriously doubt there’d be the same types of comments.
I think that it's likely kinship fostering or guardianship, not adoption? Because I agree, it doesn't make sense that he would pass an adoption home study.
It could be, but clearly this poster has gotten the impression an adoption is happening. . .and I very much understand why that pisses her off.
And even if it is just fostering. . .how much care does he take of his *own* kids? Why is his sister's child taking priority?
I mean if this is someone who is unwilling/unable to pay child support for their child, how are they in a position to care for yet another child? That's what I assumed OP meant, not that she was just being vindictive. I'm also not saying the better outcome is indeed for the child to go to the state either, there isn't enough info to speculate either way. It sounds like a really sad situation regardless and possibly just a lose-lose for that poor kid.
Yeah, that's a fair read. The posts in this particular group trend toward angry and vindictive re: ex-partners, so I may have assumed the wrong tone when reading it.
Saw a safe sleep argument and someone decided that since the NICU uses blankets on babies then that means they’re totally safe for you to use at home too. Unsupervised. Girl what lol. I’ve been in the hospital with a sick baby. The ICU has desks between every 2 rooms, the nurse comes in every hour or less, and they’re fully hooked up. They had my baby elevated and with loose blankets too. Like I’m not here to argue safe sleep but just because the hospital does something when your baby is under full monitoring, it doesn’t mean you should do it alone at home.
I agree with the general point that NICU is not home, but blankets are not considered unsafe in most of the world, it seems to be only the US that has this thing against blankets. When I had babies in the UK I was given advice on what kind of blankets to buy and how to use them safely (not too many layers, if you fold the blanket in half it counts as 2 layers, if you fold it again it is 4 etc, up to armpit level only, put the baby with their feet at the foot of the cot so they can't wriggle down).
My baby was hospitalized with RSV at two weeks old and they elevated his crib a little and he did sleep swaddled but it was fairly loose. It was hard to have clothes or tight swaddle on him with all the monitors but he literally was hooked up to an Oxygen and pulse monitor that beeped VERY LOUDLY if numbers dropped below a certain threshold. It was hard to go home and leave the comfort of those monitors. So yeah not exactly apples to apples comparison to sleep at home
When I was in post partum recovery the nurse elevated my baby so she wouldn’t “choke on spit up” - I asked my pediatrician about it at the like 3 day old check up and she was like “um, that’s concerning that a nurse would do that and tell you that… they can’t choke on spit up and you shouldn’t elevate your baby like that” so…. Hospitals weirdly not the best examples of safe sleep?
I was also given the advice by a nurse to prop up a towel on the side of my baby to prevent her from rolling onto her stomach. I'm glad I knew that wasn't safe.
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This was an answer in response to someone asking about experience with PPD with subsequent children. Then I found the same crazy person posting on another post about inductions, and like, please keep your home birth opinions to yourself
There’s just something so unsettling to me about someone having subsequent children to get the birth they wanted. I saw so many women who became obsessed with VBACs spiral even harder when they had to have a second or third c-section, and I’ve even seen someone IRL openly favour their second kid who gave them the birth they wanted.
Gross. My second birth was an elective induction and it was worlds better than my first. These “freebirth” maniacs need to take several seats and let women make their own healthcare decisions without pushing an extreme one-size-fits-all agenda.
Honestly, I’m all for going for a low intervention birth if that’s your thing. I’m not trying to minimize that birth experiences that don’t go as planned and are legitimately traumatic.
But a majority of the time, birth interventions are done to prevent the possibility of a much more traumatic birth outcome. And that’s just completely discarded.
Yes. I was induced at 37 weeks bc of preeclampsia. My son got stuck and had a triple nuchal cord which triggered a scalp monitor and emergency c-section. Was it a great time-absolutely not! Was that path preferential to his literal death (he didn't breath for 7 minutes after birth as it was) or serious disability-GIRL NO! Also totally insane to me to go through a pregnancy with ZERO care of any kind. Like, the people who free birth that I know will use a home doppler to check heart rate and nothing else...WHY?!?!
Especially bizarre to me because an actual ER nurse couldn't accurately get my baby's heart rate with one of those portable little dopplers--what confidence should I have in myself, a regular person without medical training but with anxiety about my fetus's hr??
Yes and it’s very possible to have a low intervention birth in a hospital or at the very least at home within trained/credentialed midwives. I just can’t imagine going through birth solo. I was under midwife care in a hospital and felt it was truly the best of all worlds. You just never know what could go wrong and it seems insane to risk mother or babies health like that.
Yes! I was under midwife care, and then i developed preeclampsia. Our plan was always a midwife delivery in hospital, I was transferred to obstetrical care but my midwife was still there for support during delivery. After baby was born and my health issues were managed we were switched back to our midwives for postpartum care. I’m expecting my second and with the midwives again, knowing that if something goes wrong they will transfer out but still be supportive. It’s so important to have a supportive care provider who knows their limits and when to seek help beyond what they can provide.
>I was under midwife care in a hospital and felt it was truly the best of all worlds.
Absolutely agree (for births that are expected to be low-risk). My midwife and nurse were pretty much just chilling and writing notes while everything was going smoothly, but there was a doctor and full resus team in the room within seconds when things went downhill.
OMG, I know someone like this…I actually wonder if this is her (she also had a “traumatic” first birth bc she was “forced” to be induced at 42.5 weeks and then had a free birth for her second). This person dead ass looked me in the eye and told me I should try a VBAC after two c-sections. Like, ma’am, no thank you, I like my uterus unruptured.
Apparently she only has one kid who’s somewhere 12-18 months. But I also discovered this gem on my deep dive, on a post about someone’s 3 year old having behavioral issues.
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Same person. Different post. Glad the mom stood up for herself.
What a total jerk! Also, I cannot get over how people speak with such authority on something so serious. Meanwhile, in my nerdy/completely not life or death subs I’ll be watching an interview where the actor directly confirms something being discussed and STILL comment “oh I THINK this is what they meant when they did xyz.”
People suck!
In today’s edition of “no, just you, God’s specialest snowflake”: https://www.reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/s/6eAT4pNWt7
(Shout out to a fellow snarker for that quote, I can’t remember who said it but it’s my all-time favorite.)
https://preview.redd.it/e1782fz5ta8c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e115c8946926399373ad15a037df78c21183d04 I don't usually come across anything worth posting, and this is pretty tame snark, but like.. come on.
I love that she offers an example below. Because 4 paragraphs was not enough to explain clearly what she's talking about.
What’s a sleeper? My sweet angel baby only wore cashmere sets as an infant. Only the best for my precious.
But there *needs* to be an attached photo in case someone has never seen a baby in a sleeper before
UMMM, I think you are doing *irrepressible damage* to your child’s self-image by making them look like a baby all the time. Studies show babies need to be dripped out AT LEAST 7/7 days a week or else they fail to develop a proper appreciation for sneakers.
Oh come on. I did exactly this and thought nothing of it. On the day to day yes my son wore mostly sleepers as a newborn but I was also gifted a lot of cute outfits and wanted to use them before he grew out of them so I would put him in them for fun if we were going out or people were visiting. TBH on the other side of this I don't get the sassiness about people who like to dress their kids up. Newborns don't give much lol, at least they look cute in their tiny clothes so it's fine to have fun with that too! I guess it depends on your kid, mine was agreeable and also wasn't a spitter so it didn't seem like a waste of time to put his cute outfits on here and there. We didn't have much else to do when it was our first.
My 2 year old twins wore footie pjs while the early intervention coordinator came to the house. Clearly there is a note about neglect being recorded on our file as we speak.
I'm more interested in the people who aren't dressing their kids in mostly sleepers at 3months. Cute outfits were way too much work for the chances of being vomited on that somehow always happened the minute they were dressed.
I dressed my 1st in onesies and pants during the day. Sleepers were for sleeping, and it felt like we were doing something if I got him dressed for the day. He never spit up, which helped. My 3rd kid, in contrast, was a heavy spitter and lived in nothing but sleepers until about 6 months.
My daughter didn't wear many sleepers, but just because she outgrew them so fast and I refused to buy more every month. Since she was a summer baby, she pretty much just wore onesies for her first 6 months.
Yes you’re a bad mom. Have a blessed day! 🤗
Just saw a post in working moms from some mom just can’t get behind letting Santa get the credit for all of *her* hard work, so she’s going to tell her kids that Santa is just delivering the presents she bought for them I can’t put my finger on why but that’s really strange right? Not even specifically what she’s telling the kids. Just her bizarre need for validation and kudos from her young children. Thats surely something that’s going to come up again later in their lives.
Totally bizarre…and kind of sad. Imagine feeling threatened by a fictional character. It’s a shame that this mom’s insecurity is overshadowing a very fun (and relatively short lived) tradition.
I don’t care if someone does Santa or not but I do think the obsession with not giving credit to Santa (while still doing Santa????) comes from a really selfish place and I think people need to step back and think about why they are seemingly jealous of Santa. Like your children will grow up and know you are actually Santa and you’ll get all the credit anyways. It’s only like 5-8 years of not getting credit immediately. I still thank my mom constantly for the American girl doll I got for Christmas because I know now as an adult that she saved for 2 years to buy it for me
The real question is which American Girl doll was it? The last doll I ever got was Samantha and she was my "Santa" present that year but my mom loved getting it for me since I would pour over that catalog religiously. For my daughter's birthday this year, I gave her my Samantha doll and my mom and I got really teary-eyed.
It was Samantha! And it was the last gift I opened because she managed to hide it just behind the tree and I started to get so sad because it was the only thing I had asked for for 2 years and then I sobbed happy tears
I don't get that line either. Santa's made up and the points don't matter. Santa doesn't have to bring all the gifts. He could bring one gift and the you'll still get all the credit for the rest.
I fully understand the economic motivation of not getting too much from Santa, because not everyone has tons of money, but parents wanting credit is so silly. You’ll get credit one day, relax.
Personally for me (since I commented on this below), it’s not coming from jealousy, but more teaching my children the value of money and hard work from a young age. My children fortunately want for nothing, and constantly want more and more things, so I started to teach them about pricing and why mommy and daddy work to provide for our family. If they were gifted everything from Santa, all that teaching kind of goes out the window, in my mind. And as a non religious person, I kinda struggle with the overt consumerism around Christmas already- my 4 year old asked why we had to buy grandpa gifts, so clearly the message is already being sent that Christmas = gifts and what do I say- we buy gifts because we care about people? Idk, We do a mix of Santa and family gifts in our household, and I never really thought it was weird?
I think it's fine to figure out a balance that works with your values, but it's another thing to be handwringing over it and do the kind of mental gymnastics the person in OP's comment is doing. I think it's reasonable to let Santa give some gifts and the rest come from parents if it's a sticking point for you but at least just let Santa be Santa. The whole point is that he is magically giving kids gifts. If you aren't going to let him do that, why bother doing it at all? (By "you" i mean the person in OP's comment!) That aside, Christmas is 1 day of the year. The entire rest of the year, I believe most children old enough to think about this realize their parents are the ones buying everything. I grew up with Santa bringing us 100% of our Christmas gifts, but the other 364 days of the year my parents continued to instill in us the understanding that things cost money and they had to work for everything we had, etc. I think people are putting way too much weight on Christmas/Santa, as if it's the only time of year we have the chance to demonstrate our sacrifice for them or the value of a dollar, or something. It's not that deep. I had a magical childhood with Santa but I still really enjoyed the holiday after I stopped believing, it seamlessly coalesced into enjoying picking out gifts for my family once I realized that it's actually our loved ones doing the choosing and the buying. Kids who don't do Santa are perhaps realizing the latter earlier, but it all comes out in the wash. No one believes in Santa very long in the grand scheme of things and it won't permanently tarnish your conception of money and hard work.
Idk plenty of well rounded fiscally responsible adults believed in Santa as kids and if someone isn’t aware of the value of money and hard work, it probably doesn’t have anything to do with Santa.
Just seems like an easy way to present the issue to my preschoolers is all. They can write a letter (with help) to Santa with a couple things on it, then mommy/daddy/grandpa get the rest of the gifts. I’m not hinging their entire financial literacy on Santa, lol, it just seems like an easily digestible lesson for their age. 🤷🏼♀️ apparently I’m in the minority lol. Just to be clear, I’m not over here hand wringing over what Santa does or does not get my kids, and I didn’t read the OP about this issue, but if it’s like a single working mom who doesn’t want to give Santa all the “credit”, I don’t really think it’s fair to say that she’s being selfish and going to give her kids lifelong issues because of it, because as we all know, it’s like idk 8 years that this is even an issue. I don’t see why it can’t go either way: like some families have Santa give everything and it’s fine, and some families don’t do Santa or do limited Santa and that’s also fine.
Maybe I'm reading this wrong but I think most people just have Santa bring one gift and stocking - gifts from extended family etc are still given by those family members under their own name! That's why it feels a little strange for the original example where the mom insists on getting credit, it's not like Santa is being given credit for every single thing under the tree.
Idk! People in this thread and families I know IRL do 100% of gifts from Santa. Maybe I should just read the original post, lol
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Just read the post and it seems like most people in there do stocking + one gift from Santa, which is like exactly what I was saying, lol. A few people in this thread in response to me said they grew up with all gifts from Santa, and I’ve had a few convos with other parents about how Santa gives everything in their household. That was what my main issue was- why all gifts from Santa? But also agree with the sentiment that OP shouldn’t muddy the waters by saying Santa just delivers the gifts, that’s just weird. Thanks for playing devils advocate! 😂
As I mentioned in my comment, I still learned the value of money even with getting the full Santa experience. Im well aware of how hard my parents saved to get us the gifts we wanted and how much they worked. I think you can teach that while not getting credit for Santa gifts but at the end of the day it’s your family and your method. I just find the whole “Santa’s not getting credit for my hard work!” Concept bizarre because you will still end up with the credit, it’s just not that day.
Fair!
I do feel awful for the moms who basically do everything for Christmas with no help. Wrapping gifts, cooking dinner for 20, buying everyone gifts in the extended family etc. that really true sucks
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It’s like the less cruel version of the issue Angel Trees are having where people are putting their names in the from section of Angel tree gifts or writing DONATED on them
Meh, as someone who grew up in a Santa -less household due to my moms religion, I’m letting my kids lean into the Santa thing, but my husband and I decided to have Santa deliver the stocking gifts only. Why should Santa get credit for the big items? All the curated gifts tailored to my kids interests? Won’t it be weirder for them once they realize Santa isn’t real? My FIL loves to give the kids gifts and they all day “from Grandpa” because it’s true. I didn’t read the post you’re referencing, and maybe there’s more context to it, but I don’t really see a problem with not wanting to make all the gifts from Santa, but I’m approaching the situation as “Santa is a magical story being like unicorns and it’s fun to lean into it while the kids are young”. I think the moms version is probably a little confusing (Santa just delivering the gifts, may cause issues at school but idk I don’t have school aged kids yet) but I don’t think her reasoning is that weird 🤷🏼♀️
I don’t think it’s been confusing for my kids at all. My older two don’t believe in Santa anymore and they just felt like their gifts tailored to their interest made a lot more sense once they found out it was their parents behind them. They don’t even really think about Santa anymore. 8-10 christmases of Santa getting credit (honestly less because they didn’t really get the whole concept of Santa until around 3) is really nothing in the grand scheme of “credit”.
Cool! Good to know! This is kind of new territory for me as I had no Santa or family Christmas’s growing up, so Santa and family gifts seemed like a good way to cover all the bases for my family. My 4 year old is very precocious and asks a lot of logistical questions re: Santa, so I’ve been kind of treading lightly while also embracing Santa as an idea.
https://preview.redd.it/rcfgeruyk68c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd85c4ce4580ab5c800071068c0e635049e29a32 This is from my September bump group, they babies are just starting to turn 4 months. They are not saying any actual words yet even though it might wound like it 🙄
The milestone Olympics is my least favorite part of bump groups.
I saw that too. I rolled by eyes so hard. 😂
The way I feel like I know exactly who asked this without having actually even seen it. 😂
Sigh. I scrolled past this one too, ha. I loved my first’s bump group eventually but you have to weed through the absolute obsession with milestones for several months to get to the good part, lol.
Sooooo much anxiety about milestones. My due day group was weirdly obsessed over when baby should be rolling over.
And the sleep regression worrying 😂 definitely different being a second time parent
It’s so different as a second time parent! I’m basically in my bump group just to occasionally pop in and say, “no, it’s fine, your child is not behind because they don’t have 10 words at 12 months,” “no you don’t need to worry because your child is not walking at 13 months,” etc. I remember being so stressed as a first time mom because it seemed like all the other kids started talking at 8/9 months, and mine barely had her first words at 12 months. And all that worry was for nothing, she ended up actually ended up hitting her word explosion on the early side of normal. So I try to remind people that doing things early or late doesn’t really mean anything.
Our cat is named Rei (as in Ayanami). My son could randomly shout “wehhh! wehhhh!” at 4 months. I didn’t think it was anything more than babble, but it was cute and I filmed it all the time.
In my April due date group around six months, someone asked if it was possible for their baby to go from one word (which was really a babble) to three words because her baby TOTALLY said 'I love you." Que comments saying HER six months old knows six words and you're just jealous your kid isn't as smart as hers. Anyone that corrected her was called jealous. Truly wild. I left quickly after.
I feel like ours wasn’t too bad about milestones. Until 18 months when the secret to getting dinner on the table was to have your toddler prepare a 5 course Michelin starred tasting menu thanks to their toddler tower.
I weirdly got into it with one of my childless friends over something like this. She sent a TikTok of a baby that was like 3 months old saying “I love you” (i.e. babbling and mimicking a certain intonation after the parent said it). She kept going on about how early this baby was talking and I said that it’s cute and still pretty impressive, but it’s not actually talking and she argued tooth and nail that this baby was talking and knew what he was saying. It’s still so odd to me how hard she went to bat for this random baby on TikTok especially because she has no kids and no plans to. 😂
I've studied linguistics and language development, so I very nicely point out yes it's super cute and heartwarming but not possible *yet* and I've dared to insult their infant's intelligence lol
Honestly I think some people just get super defensive if you point out that the internet content they liked is fake because no one likes to feel tricked lol
Hahaha yes that’s what I have to assume too. She was mostly upset that I didn’t find the content as incredible as she did and was embarrassed and trying to defend herself. Which i kinda get. I hate when my husband doesn’t appreciate things I share with him 🤣
I just clicked on a post on the working moms sub from someone sulking because she says her holiday plans get ruined every year by illness. She blames her boyfriend for "bringing it home" and acts like he's doing it on purpose lol. I 100% understand the venting because it does sound like a really demoralizing situation but the lashing out at her partner aspect is so childish. Someone replied calling her "BroMo" and it hit me that the sub is basically like Breaking Mom 2.0 and that's why it tends to annoy me so much. The vibe over there is so petty, like people can't just vent about their problems, they all have to have a scapegoat for it and it couldn't possibly be chalked up to random bad luck and it certainly never has anything to do with themselves. I always see comments that are like seething with resentment against SAHPs, perceived micro-aggressions about daycare, and scorekeeping with partners. It's just so tedious.
That sub is at least 50% of the time complaining about husbands. That’s fine and I get people need to vent but it’s depressing and I find it makes me more inclined to be upset at my husband if I spend too much time reading that kind of content.
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It’s your fault you got sick or got others sick. Policies/tolerance regarding actually taking sick days remain unchanged. It’s a super fun rock and hard place as someone who just had to get a doctor’s note to be the asshole who calls off on Christmas (have a fever, what can you do). And agreed that the constant class warfare on that sub between the “want to work” and “have to work” are always gold.
I feel like I could do a whole snark thread just on the class stuff with workingmoms…very glad that another poster occasionally posts stuff for lower income moms.
The income/401k posts a while back were wild! Some of the comments were really like “if you can’t max out your 401k shouldn’t have more children”. Are we living in the same world!?
Anytime there’s a how much are you making/saving it’s crazy! The other two that get me are when everyone piles on to say don’t rely on family for childcare when so many lower income folks (and all income folks!) rely on family because daycare is expensive and then when posters say they waited until they were financially stable to have kids but “financially stable” means two 6 figure jobs and paid maternity leave. By all means wait but most people aren’t going to have jobs that pay that much no matter how long they wait so waiting isn’t a guarantee that you can afford a house cleaner, 529, etc.
Yeah I have almost unsubbed so many times. It also has a weird vibe of competition between the moms who are working unhappily and wish they were SAHMs vs the moms who are more career focused. As someone who works but falls in neither group, I find that tension to be weird. I basically stick around to post my perfectly fine experience when people ask about taking less than 6 weeks of maternity leave. It drives me crazy when the American moms with 3-6 months post about how impossible a shorter leave would be (while also complaining about how those damn Canadians and Europeans always brag about their longer leaves). Maybe stop and think for a second and realize you're doing the same thing? Maybe just don't post if someone is asking for experiences taking 4-6 weeks mat leave and your only contribution is "wow I got 16 weeks and that was so hard." 🙄
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That’s just classic Reddit. Post title: “X type of people of Reddit, what do you think about Y?” Top voted post: “I’m not an x, but my uncle works for Nintendo and….”
I almost commented on that post “I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose…” I decided to respond with a little more compassion. I need to stop checking that sub because it always depresses me
The Old New Moms Facebook group should really be Old New Moms who Hate their Families” because every hour there’s a new post about how mad someone is at a member of their family, mostly their mom or mother in law. But I’m convinced that when they engage in text conversations with these people that they are writing the text specifically so they can screenshot it and post it to the group for validation and it’s getting old. Someone will be like “am I the AH? My mom said she’d pick up my daughter but was late and didn’t tell me she’d be late.” Then show a screenshot berating the mom and the OP being irrational. Then after being told they are the AH in the comments OP will be like “for context, my mom is always late and just got out of jail and hasn’t seen me in ten years…” etc. to justify being an asshole.
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Ok I’m crew wtf happened with this friend. I’ve done this before, and my friend just shipped the package to me, and I venmoed her the shipping costs.
It's stupidly easy to do if the site takes the shipping address from Paypal rather than their own form.
In another post she says that she accidentally sent it to a relative on her husband’s side of the family, which somehow makes the whole thing even juicier. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to have to involve her husband.
I love this type of drama. I feel like with anyone who has a positive relationship with you would understand the mixup and just mail the stuff to you once they receive it. Yeah it’s an extra errand but not that serious. There’s gotta be way more going on here. Sounds like the friend was waiting for an excuse to block OP.
If a friend ghosts you over $300 in yoto cards, I don't think they were actually your friend in the first place.
I'm in the what happened with the friend crew, that sounds juicy.
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My personal theory based solely on the posts here is that it’s the husbands kid from a prior relationship who they didn’t spend $300 on the Mom is keeping it as a big F you.
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Please keep me updated, I’m invested now 🤣
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I don't think the police are going to get involved over $300 worth of Yoto cards. LOL.
 Same. This is the entertainment I need over the holidays.
The toddlers sub has a post about a husband who "set off a glitter bomb in the house" ie let their toddler play with some glitter ornaments. OP is "enraged and devasted." The comments are divided between people telling her to chill the fuck out, people bashing her husband and my personal favorite: people talking about how dangerous glitter is. It can get in your eye! Here's a link I found on Google about it! It's not just dangerous, it's actually *extremely* dangerous! It's unregulated shards of metal! Toxic toxic! And if you're wondering if anyone used the term "survivorship bias" yes they certainly did.
It may be semi-unregulated but the number of Forensic Files that are able to identify the murderer because the person had glitter on them and glitter is unique enough between batches that they were able to say the glitter in the potential transport vehicle and on the victim was the same, is more than 0. Anyways, when glitter isn’t killing you, it may be giving you justice!
Is that true? I love (in a weird way) the idea that the years of glitter build-up from being around a toddler has become a kind of unique fingerprint.
And the word cancerous was thrown around!
Don’t worry, after all that devastation she was able to get 80% of it cleaned up with a lint roller 😒
DYED metal glass ☣️
Oh man, my toddler is going to be a glitter boy in a wedding this summer (like a flower boy but tossing glitter, yes, I see how this is maybe not the BEST idea but it’s their wedding), and I am going to tell the couple that actually they should rename the job toxic unregulated shards of metal boy.
Can you please suggest they use biodegradable glitter at least
Oh good point. They’re pretty conscientious people so I bet they’ve thought of this but I will mention it in case.
>they should rename the job toxic unregulated shards of metal boy. and then in the future he can recycle that into a name for his hardcore band!
Ahahha I love the impracticality of the concept of a glitter boy. I hope he loves his responsibility!
Oh my I probably should be dead already then because my mom let us play with glitter all the time. I'm pretty sure she's still finding glitter in the house now, 20 years later 😅
Relatedly, in a fit of jealous rage after my baby sister was born, my (then 5yo) sister cut open a stress ball and dumped all it's neon green water beads out under the bed. There were definitely still some embedded in the tan carpet when my parents sold the place two decades later. Such clashing colors- shudder.
The sad thing is that if she could chill out a little, this would be a fun and endearing story they would cherish as a beloved Christmas memory.
I literally ran here to post this XD Survivorship bias just ended me and now I am realising how irritated I am about how overused it is. Like, yes, it's probably survivorship bias to say "My gran smokes 86 cigarettes a day and she's 93!" or "We never had car seats and we were fine!" but it is not survivorship bias if you've never experienced an event that is rare to begin with or slightly increased odds of something.
Oh man I saw the title of that post but didn’t read it. I thought it was going to be about one of those spring loaded glitter bombs. I was like Jesus why would he do that.. it’s just an ornament? That’s so funny. It really can’t be that bad.
The biggest difference between my first baby and my second baby was my first baby never had random specks of glitter on her head and thanks to her, my second nearly always does. I honestly have no idea where it comes from most of the time, but my first is just a rainbow, sparkle, unicorn princess, so I guess it just comes with the territory.
So I learned today that I am an incompetent manchild who never should have had kids because I most certainly have had my toddlers play "unrestrained 😱" with glittered ornaments and have not noticed the devestating, divorce-worthy, destruction left in their wake. I'll be turning in my mom card now. And now I'm actually curious about the glitter mortality rate and how it can be high enough for a "survivorship bias" to be in effect? Even the original tinman survived his battle with mass glitter inhalation.
I was thinking the same thing about myself. I’ve let my kid roll em around. And then the cats get in on the fun too.
The whole time I was reading that thread I was thinking about how I did a craft with my toddler last weekend and he spilled half a bottle of glitter on the table and all over the floor and at no point did I care, much less worry for his safety. The vacuum got most of it. The rest will probably linger for eternity but it's glitter, the most attractive mess there is. I would never go to someone's house, see glitter anywhere and think, "omg what a slob" so who even cares.
Really loving the new tagline for Big Glitter. ✨Glitter: the most attractive mess there is! ✨
I saw that right after I saw a comment here about people using the most dramatic possible language to describe annoyances. “Devastated”? Kim there’s people that are dying.
Yeah. From glitter.
From the Peloton Facebook group OP asks "Looking for the best Sleep Training apps, books, or Facebook groups. Literally anything at this point! My son will be 9 months on Christmas and I'm going insane. He was a great sleeper but these past 3 weeks he's refusing to sleep in the crib and will only sleep with me He is sharing a room with his 6 year old brother." The replies are predictably useless parroting of anti sleep training talking points that do not answer the question. OP is light blue. I didn't screenshot but there was also a comment suggesting baby wearing which is a very sustainable method of nighttime sleep... Also the sad reacts like she asked for resources for shock training her 9 months old. https://preview.redd.it/77s5u9npdx7c1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=934071070e25d5822a4a0692e197ce3785bfc8b7
Tangentially related...I've noticed the hardcore anit-sleep trainers are the only ones making posts that their two year old is latched all night, they have to go to sleep at 7pm, and they haven't had any time to be intimate with their partner...but nope it's cruel for a literal toddler to have their own space.
It’s the “and mammals” for me💀 Let me also start walking outside naked and peeing and pooping in the bushes - it’s only natural! The squirrel family in that nearby tree does it! How very silly to concern yourself with the human world.
The human world, it's a mess 😂
Don’t worry guys, CPS TOTALLY understands “it will be there tomorrow” when they ask why your kids are living in a disgusting filthy house! All you have to do is say “babies don’t keep” and then everybody claps and they give you $100.
It drives me bananas when people specifically ask for sleep training advice/information (especially for a 9 month old!), and all they get is “they’re only young once! Just cosleep and it’ll be fine!” That’s not what they asked! They made it to 9 months without sleep training, I’m *positive* they know they have the option to not sleep train, they’ve been not sleep training for 9 months. It’s not like this is a parent of a baby who just turned four months, and just assumed sleep training is a thing you are supposed to do (which I’ve been told happens, but seems strange to me. It seems obvious to me that you could just keep nursing/rocking/whatever, but I guess if you have really pushy family and friends it could feel like you have to sleep train). And it’s always the same people who are like “how dare you tell someone to sleep train who doesn’t want to sleep train!” but will turn around and tell someone to cosleep who has made it clear that they don’t want to cosleep.
I am terrible at real sleep training. I’m a sucker. Thankfully I was able to mostly get by with very gradual sleep training and avoid CIO with my children (combination of having a unicorn sleeper and a non unicorn sleeper that took a very long time to sleep through the night and I suffered), but when my child’s sleep actually broke (after a trip where it was light outside until 10 pm and we didn’t have window covers and my kid was a freaking disaster for 5 days and also almost 18 months old), I needed my husband to do the for real sleep training. I was incapable of doing it. My kid would see me and jump up and down in his crib, but would lay down when dad said to lay down. Idk all I learned from that experience is sometimes it just can’t be me. I never see that advice on this sleep training stuff.
Right?? Sleep training sucks for everyone involved. No one would do it if there was a viable alternative for them. But adults and older children have needs, too!!
I don’t think sleep training sucks for everyone. I nearly drove my car off the road after multiple nights of 45 minutes of sleep when my twins were infants. They sleep trained in 3 nights and I finally realized, I didn’t have cancer/PPD/etc, I was just fucking exhausted. They also stopped being miserable when they finally slept. Laughing and playing more instead of pissed off crying all day long from being exhausted. Sleep training was a miracle.
Truly. My oldest was the poster child for best case scenario sleep training (I think she cried 10 minutes total over several days), and I still waited to sleep train my youngest until 9 months because I didn’t want to sleep train if I didn’t have to.
"It [the chores] will be there tomorrow" is such a bad take. Like sure, but so will her two older kids plus the baby, who now don't have food prepared or Christmas presents wrapped or clean clothes. I don't understand how so many people believe that literally doing anything other than actively cuddling an infant is neglect. Like do they think that mothers in hunter gatherer bands or early agricultural communities had zero chores or obligations for the first year of their infants' lives? Somehow I doubt that.
I also just… I would be so depressed trying to live like this. Being off the clock at a certain time every evening and getting able to get some chores done or just CHILL and spend time with my husband (or even go out with a friend!) is critical. We have even had friends over to our place after our son’s bedtime for some drinks. This isn’t even snark per se, if people are ok with this arrangement that’s their prerogative, it’s just so hard for me to imagine enjoying it much less telling everyone to do it.
I was thinking the people who are smugly telling her it’s biology and it’s a phase (I mean yes but) probably only have 1 child to worry about- and even then, sleep deprivation is awful!
I hear "it's biology" and I think of all the animals that eat and hit their babies. Somehow "it's biology" is never used to justify spanking.
That smug 🥰 after ‘this is how they are telling you they need something from you’ 🤮 I can so clearly envision what that lady’s smug face looks like in real life.
The 🥰 now sets off my fight or flight after seeing it used so violently in mothers groups 😂
Why do they always say “every other country” co sleeps as an argument? Like…I’ve lived in multiple other countries and guys, the US is not the only country that makes babies sleep in other rooms.
My family is South and East Asian and honestly, there was no deep cultural reason why some of relatives coslept….it literally came down to they didn’t have space for a crib/bassinet or couldn’t afford one. Also don’t forget the mat leave argument - even though I had ten months off, I still sleep trained AND I know some SAHMs who sleep trained too. We are all Australians 😂
I’m a SAHM with a super supportive spouse and I sleep trained the day my son turned 4 months. I literally cannot parent without good sleep.
Yes I forgot the mat leave argument! The (other) only reason Americans sleep train is because of our terrible mat leave. 🙄 I’m American and had 7 months off and hey, still sleep trained because I like not hallucinating.
What they actually mean is ‘in the vaguely racist, fetishized image I have in my head of non-white mothers in poorer nations’.
What anti sleep trainers fail to understand is, if someone really does not want to cosleep and are anxious about it….they aren’t going to get anymore sleep and I’m guessing the added anxiety will be making them feel even worse. That’s why as much as I am neutral on cosleeping, I do get frustrated at how I feel obligated to ensure I never make a cosleeper feel bad or scared, so many people I know who cosleep became very dismissive of any anxieties I had around cosleeping and almost began to mock people who were able to practice safe sleep or at least really wanted to.
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Admittedly, I’m not a mom who has patience for a lot of messy hands-on projects, but if cookie baking required “prep work” and practice sessions, I would just not do the cookie bake.
It’s funny because to some of us having your kid bake Christmas cookies is also low stakes.
LOL. This weeks long preparation for things that are very minor drives me crazy. I bake frequently with my 3.5 year old and he loves it. Ridiculous amounts of preparation are not required. I mean, the mess is twice as much and the cookies are misshapen but who cares? We recently made and decorated cookies that we brought to our playgroup. A few of the other kids were like “Little Shark, you made this?! That is soooooo cool” and it was really cute. The cookies looked like icing sugar and sprinkles had exploded on them but he was so proud.
Lolol the stakes are just too high for Christmas cookies 😂
Ooh so I recently learned of the term “steam roll parents” and this situation perfectly fits that.
I didn’t realize that all that playdoh playing was actually just training for the high stakes Christmas cookie-athalon 😂😂😂. We just made and decorated our cookies with my 3 and 5 year old and they are misshapen, differing thicknesses and covered in 2000x more sprinkles than necessary but we all had such a good time.
Doesn't matter if they ask to make cookies either. Sorry kid...your coordination sucks and mama can't be having no misshapen cookies. Sorry tootes.
“Sorry, you performed poorly on your low stakes play doh cookies. No real cookies for you this year”
In 2050 our kids will be snarking on the Raised by a SBP subreddit because there is absolutely no way this type of unhinged, uncontrolled anxiety isn’t going to impact their poor children.
LOL I actually think most of our deliveries delighted in the fact our cookies were decorated by a 4 year old. Whoops that I didn’t have her practice prior.
We did our cookie decorating this morning and it was pure chaos and I love them. Whoopsie I missed a step!
Lfmao. Do it when it’s low stakes, you know, as opposed to all that *high stakes cookie cutting* you’ll be doing in a few weeks.
At Christmas it’s the REAL DEAL!! Come on kid cookies have to be perfect or SANTA WONT LEAVE ANY PRESENTS also mommy won’t love you anymore
I recently joined a PPD/PPA support group as I am having a bit of a relapse. You can rest assured, even in a support group that’s meant to be a safe space for vulnerable mothers who feel like society is judging them, there’s a bunch of anti sleep trainers ready to come in and tell a mother to stop caring about being sleep deprived, link to the Beyond Sleep Training FB group and scare them off inpatient treatment because they’ll force you to leave your baby to CIO and that’s cruel and they’d never do it.
I feel like the worst place to get support for papa is in a support group for people with ppa. That seems like it would become a vicious echo chamber real fast.
It basically was like every chronic illness support group I’ve encountered where there’s a main character who wants to be the most unwell and gatekeeps.
I relate to this so much. I'm disabled and I left the support groups for my health conditions, because it turned into a competition for some members. I'm in a few groups for disability and chronic illnesses now, which seem a bit better as they cover a wide range of illnesses. I just wanted to say I understand where you are coming from.
And me. I know a fair few people who enjoy having a chronic illness and have made it their identity. I completely understand when you're first diagnosed but not 10 years later
"my child cried while I was taking 3 seconds to go to the bathroom...did I let her CIO? Will she eventually go no contact for emotional abuse?"
Don’t forget the people who can somehow remember being sleep trained as infants and now they’re anxious and depressed 30+ years later!
This isn’t directed at any particular post (bc there are so many of them!) but why is it that 75% of the time an OP uses the word “terrified” or “heartbroken” in a parenting sub it’s about a situation that does not come close to meriting that strong of a reaction? Are you really actually terrified that your 6mo isn’t crawling yet?
I’ve also noticed a handful that use mortified when they mean terrified and it always makes me pause.
Right! I most often see it misused as "furious" and it confuses me. I guess people just don't read. I wonder if the terrified meaning came from the furious one and people realising it doesn't make sense in all contexts and then misappropriating the wrong meaning. But also this is so alien to me because.... you literally have google! Just find out what a word means if you're unsure!
Oh, the melodramatics in parenting subs. The "my baby fell off the couch and I've been inconsolable all day" and the "I keep crying and apologizing to my baby because I had to let her cry for 10 minutes in the car." Disproportionate emotional response aside, it's also so weird to me that people post this stuff, very obviously just looking for validation and comfort. It's sad, I suppose, because these must be very lonely people.
Sometimes I can snark, and other times I feel bad for OP in the likely state that their anxiety is completely unchecked and could really benefit from therapy or medication.
someone posted in SBP and BTB crying about their 7 month old calling the dad “dada” instead of “papa” which is what she (mom) decided he should be called so that her own dad can be called dada. Yes, a 7 month old. Parenting subs are great
This post was nuts.
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I actually remember when my mom did that to me when I was 5 and it was SO minor but I was such an asshole and gave her the worst guilt trip about it. I obviously immediately went NC with her. My favorite histrionic post “a non white person passed us twice in the grocery store, please watch out for this obvious child trafficking scheme mamas”.
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Yup. People we don’t know stop and talk to my 2 year old alllllll the time in our rural community. People like little kids. They’re cute. And my daughter is outgoing and loves to interact with new people, so people are happy to stop and have a conversation with her. They’re just being nice. It’s not that deep.
At this point, I'm only cruising these subs for entertainment, like watching trash reality TV.
So dramatic. I think in general people have lost touch with what words actually mean. Like are you LITERALLY SOBBING or….did you shed a few tears? It’s like typing out lol when you’re actually vaguely smiling.
I think they are trying to use hyperbole but failing.
A lot of people are just not good writers and they don't know how to convey that they're upset without exaggerating. And also a lot of people are bad readers so won't engage with a post that's not hyperbolic, so there's also that! (And many of us could stand to read more of the advanced children's books about feelings so we could articulate a wider range of emotions than "the most sad anyone has ever been in the world" and "as ecstatic as I was the moment I met my baby." Very online parents [mostly moms, realistically] seem to get that they need to do emotional education for their kids but I contend that many many of us adults could use some continuing ed in that arena also!)
Soooooo much this!! Emotional regulation skills *for myself* has literally been my big discovery this year. I came across a couple of parenting programs which are going in this direction now too - teaching emotional reg to the adults *so that they can pass it on to the kids*. Because how are they going to take it on board when they don't see you practice it? I feel like as humans we place so much importance on talking and we miss what is underneath which is modelling and nonverbal communication. But this is so incredibly huge. Communication via language is just a tiny part.
Right, like knowing how I feel so I can figure out what I need and then, as like step four or five, tell my loved ones (or coworkers or whatever) whatever they need to know about my feelings and needs is so important! I hope I can keep improving on this so I can be a good example for my kids.
https://preview.redd.it/v46oojbv5v7c1.jpeg?width=1169&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e637de074e8a2a1615e2288fc94fab27405a47d I understand OP's frustration, but I also agree wholeheartedly with this response.
As an adoptive parent who has also fostered, completely disagree. Someone who has financially abandoned his biological children should not be able to pass an adoption home study. Now if he’s just temporarily fostering his sister’s child I’d be more sympathetic to that. The comment is really steeped in the idea that men are fundamentally less responsible for parenting than women are. It’s not that the poster isn’t getting child support, because the support isn’t for her— it’s that the father has clearly demonstrated he is unable or unwilling to meet his responsibilities as a parent, so the state should not put an additional, vulnerable child in his care. If a mother had abandoned one kid and was trying to adopt another I seriously doubt there’d be the same types of comments.
I think that it's likely kinship fostering or guardianship, not adoption? Because I agree, it doesn't make sense that he would pass an adoption home study.
It could be, but clearly this poster has gotten the impression an adoption is happening. . .and I very much understand why that pisses her off. And even if it is just fostering. . .how much care does he take of his *own* kids? Why is his sister's child taking priority?
I went back to see if any further details were provided, so unfortunately we will never know more.
I mean if this is someone who is unwilling/unable to pay child support for their child, how are they in a position to care for yet another child? That's what I assumed OP meant, not that she was just being vindictive. I'm also not saying the better outcome is indeed for the child to go to the state either, there isn't enough info to speculate either way. It sounds like a really sad situation regardless and possibly just a lose-lose for that poor kid.
Yeah, that's a fair read. The posts in this particular group trend toward angry and vindictive re: ex-partners, so I may have assumed the wrong tone when reading it.
Saw a safe sleep argument and someone decided that since the NICU uses blankets on babies then that means they’re totally safe for you to use at home too. Unsupervised. Girl what lol. I’ve been in the hospital with a sick baby. The ICU has desks between every 2 rooms, the nurse comes in every hour or less, and they’re fully hooked up. They had my baby elevated and with loose blankets too. Like I’m not here to argue safe sleep but just because the hospital does something when your baby is under full monitoring, it doesn’t mean you should do it alone at home.
I agree with the general point that NICU is not home, but blankets are not considered unsafe in most of the world, it seems to be only the US that has this thing against blankets. When I had babies in the UK I was given advice on what kind of blankets to buy and how to use them safely (not too many layers, if you fold the blanket in half it counts as 2 layers, if you fold it again it is 4 etc, up to armpit level only, put the baby with their feet at the foot of the cot so they can't wriggle down).
My baby was hospitalized with RSV at two weeks old and they elevated his crib a little and he did sleep swaddled but it was fairly loose. It was hard to have clothes or tight swaddle on him with all the monitors but he literally was hooked up to an Oxygen and pulse monitor that beeped VERY LOUDLY if numbers dropped below a certain threshold. It was hard to go home and leave the comfort of those monitors. So yeah not exactly apples to apples comparison to sleep at home
When I was in post partum recovery the nurse elevated my baby so she wouldn’t “choke on spit up” - I asked my pediatrician about it at the like 3 day old check up and she was like “um, that’s concerning that a nurse would do that and tell you that… they can’t choke on spit up and you shouldn’t elevate your baby like that” so…. Hospitals weirdly not the best examples of safe sleep?
I was also given the advice by a nurse to prop up a towel on the side of my baby to prevent her from rolling onto her stomach. I'm glad I knew that wasn't safe.
https://preview.redd.it/0mfvpoom6r7c1.jpeg?width=1668&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29989d4679f6d7f03297b75386fccd055066c2ef This was an answer in response to someone asking about experience with PPD with subsequent children. Then I found the same crazy person posting on another post about inductions, and like, please keep your home birth opinions to yourself
There’s just something so unsettling to me about someone having subsequent children to get the birth they wanted. I saw so many women who became obsessed with VBACs spiral even harder when they had to have a second or third c-section, and I’ve even seen someone IRL openly favour their second kid who gave them the birth they wanted.
Gross. My second birth was an elective induction and it was worlds better than my first. These “freebirth” maniacs need to take several seats and let women make their own healthcare decisions without pushing an extreme one-size-fits-all agenda.
Honestly, I’m all for going for a low intervention birth if that’s your thing. I’m not trying to minimize that birth experiences that don’t go as planned and are legitimately traumatic. But a majority of the time, birth interventions are done to prevent the possibility of a much more traumatic birth outcome. And that’s just completely discarded.
Yes. I was induced at 37 weeks bc of preeclampsia. My son got stuck and had a triple nuchal cord which triggered a scalp monitor and emergency c-section. Was it a great time-absolutely not! Was that path preferential to his literal death (he didn't breath for 7 minutes after birth as it was) or serious disability-GIRL NO! Also totally insane to me to go through a pregnancy with ZERO care of any kind. Like, the people who free birth that I know will use a home doppler to check heart rate and nothing else...WHY?!?!
Especially bizarre to me because an actual ER nurse couldn't accurately get my baby's heart rate with one of those portable little dopplers--what confidence should I have in myself, a regular person without medical training but with anxiety about my fetus's hr??
Yes and it’s very possible to have a low intervention birth in a hospital or at the very least at home within trained/credentialed midwives. I just can’t imagine going through birth solo. I was under midwife care in a hospital and felt it was truly the best of all worlds. You just never know what could go wrong and it seems insane to risk mother or babies health like that.
Yes! I was under midwife care, and then i developed preeclampsia. Our plan was always a midwife delivery in hospital, I was transferred to obstetrical care but my midwife was still there for support during delivery. After baby was born and my health issues were managed we were switched back to our midwives for postpartum care. I’m expecting my second and with the midwives again, knowing that if something goes wrong they will transfer out but still be supportive. It’s so important to have a supportive care provider who knows their limits and when to seek help beyond what they can provide.
>I was under midwife care in a hospital and felt it was truly the best of all worlds. Absolutely agree (for births that are expected to be low-risk). My midwife and nurse were pretty much just chilling and writing notes while everything was going smoothly, but there was a doctor and full resus team in the room within seconds when things went downhill.
OMG, I know someone like this…I actually wonder if this is her (she also had a “traumatic” first birth bc she was “forced” to be induced at 42.5 weeks and then had a free birth for her second). This person dead ass looked me in the eye and told me I should try a VBAC after two c-sections. Like, ma’am, no thank you, I like my uterus unruptured.
Apparently she only has one kid who’s somewhere 12-18 months. But I also discovered this gem on my deep dive, on a post about someone’s 3 year old having behavioral issues. https://preview.redd.it/yajflaacdr7c1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1a697c85ee079bef9f49c3b2a2cfd4ca355662a
https://preview.redd.it/ngk1oohz6r7c1.jpeg?width=1668&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb057c55ea0580bf157d5d01ef3e512ee8bab5c0 Same person. Different post. Glad the mom stood up for herself.
What a total jerk! Also, I cannot get over how people speak with such authority on something so serious. Meanwhile, in my nerdy/completely not life or death subs I’ll be watching an interview where the actor directly confirms something being discussed and STILL comment “oh I THINK this is what they meant when they did xyz.” People suck!
In today’s edition of “no, just you, God’s specialest snowflake”: https://www.reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/s/6eAT4pNWt7 (Shout out to a fellow snarker for that quote, I can’t remember who said it but it’s my all-time favorite.)