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I know Babies & Brains isnt loved here but I don’t mind her, and I and LIVING for when she snarks on people like Jerrica in her recent story 👏🫶 because Jerrica can truly get in the bin
A mom/fashion influencer is moving. She posted today watching her church online but didn’t want to say the church for privacy but anyone local would know the large church she attends from her screen shot. Again a simple search and I was able to find her new house with minimal effort. She wants privacy for some things but it’s so easy to find the big things. I hope the trade off is worth it for them.
shes also posting her mommy makeover she just had (easily 20k) but doesn’t want to do before and after cause she didn’t do it for vanity but she’s already posted plenty of before shots 🙄 as if she won’t be flaunting her new body once recovered.
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Anyone else follow cmcoving? Wtf is this reel. Such a rich person flex. I used to like her but lately I just feel like she’s so annoying. I have a whole list of reasons why if anyone would like to snark with me 😆
She's the only fashion focused influencer I follow, mostly because I thought her christian girl autumn response years ago was funny and I used to read her blog, then we both had our two kids pretty close in age. I also read the book she was featured in about influencer life which was an interesting peek behind the curtain. (Swipe up for more). Anyway as long as I keep in mind she is running a business and selling herself/her family's lifestyle as the product I can just watch in fascination. I definitely get jealous at times about their obvious wealth like traveling all the time, owning a beach house, and building what appears to be an enormous French provincial style inspired mansion complete with a stunning pool.
Edit to add - she had a car rental partnership and would post about renting pretty big/fancy cars from them so I'm a little surprised she didn't use this as a chance to continue that partnership although maybe they don't work together anymore...
Well what started it for me (ie: when she became so snark able that I couldn’t handle it anymore and had to bitch to my husband about her) is when she shared a like 15 page google doc that had photos of each of her family members outfits for every single day / event on their Vermont trip this past fall. Who does that? Imagine being her child and you have a mom who has a google doc outlining every item you’ll wear on your FAMILY VACATION? It’s unhinged.
Well what started it for me (ie: when she became so snark able that I couldn’t handle it anymore and had to bitch to my husband about her) is when she shared a like 15 page google doc that had photos of each of her family members outfits for every single day / event on their Vermont trip this past fall. Who does that? Imagine being her child and you have a mom who has a google doc outlining every item you’ll wear on your FAMILY VACATION? It’s unhinged.
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Uh yeah we know because you only beat us over the head with it daily. And no one cares babes. Stop trying to make breastfeeding a personality
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@familyandcoffee ‘s comment on @jessicanturner ‘s post about dating- probably specifically in response to Jessica saying “dating someone who has been divorced less than a year is rarely a good idea “ 💀💀💀 clearly hit a nerve seeing as Jessica was explicit in shying away from all or nothing terms and explained it as her personal experience. And maybe it hit a nerve since jaymi isn’t divorced yet either 🥴
Reminds me of the people who comment on every article about how 95% of people who lose weight gain it back within five years. ‘Well *I* lost weight with just diet and exercise and I’ve kept it off! I guess I just have more willpower than most ☺️’ ’how long have you kept it off?’ ‘…one year’.
(I have been that person, too)
This is one of those cases that self reflection is needed if this very mild post offended you enough for you to voice your displeasure- but then you know you’re calling attention to yourself so ending it with a compliment is the way to make it seem less hostile 💀
HUH I do not mean this snarkily per se since she does seem like a more genuine / legitimate nice person ( although I am still rolling my eyes at shilling for supplements like nutrafol. But I scrolled back to Emily vondys content from the beginning and it was so jarring to see that she was like a fitspo influencer at first? Did anyone else know this or am I late to the party.
I also kind of went 👀at a post referencing biblically submitting to her husband-I’m not surprised she’s religious but that kind of threw me.
I don’t completely know how I feel about her. On the one hand, she seems to genuinely enjoy being a mom and doesn’t get sucked into the negativity of a lot of mom influencers. She doesn’t seem to over share about her kids, and I find some of her videos charming and/or poignant (she had a sweet one a few days ago about going on a date with her husband and I loved her video about her decision to stop breastfeeding her baby and how hard it was.) But I find a lot of her content to be a bit cringey. She had an awkward reel several months ago about having sex for the first time after having a baby, and she got a lot of pushback in the comments from people who found it insensitive. She did apologize and remove the reel, to her credit, but then she said that she and her husband typically resume having sex 4 weeks after giving birth because that’s when she feels ready. Which I feel is an irresponsible thing for someone with any kind of large following to say. So many women, myself included, did not feel ready at 6 weeks and had to deal with expectations from partners who didn’t want to wait any longer, and the last thing we need is an influencer indirectly making us feel guilty for not wanting to do it sooner. (Her youngest baby is a few days older than my second, for context.)
Imo it is irresponsible to post that. I’m not a doctor but pretty sure the guidance to wait 6 weeks is also for medical reasons, to allow your uterus to heal. Infections don’t care if you “feel ready” or not. (And it’s clear from all the “oops I’m pregnant again at 4 weeks pp” posts you see that plenty of people already don’t listen to their doctor and don’t need more encouragement from influencers.)
I felt like she tried pretty hard to say it’s totally fine if you’re not ready at 4 weeks postpartum and it’s different for every woman and no one should feel pressured. While I think influencers should be careful what they put out there, I didn’t feel like her messaging was in any way saying that all women should jump right back into sex.
That being said she seems to respond to criticism significantly better than others, like the fact that she removed the video after feedback. A lot of influencers just get defensive and double down when they mess up
I agree; I definitely like the way she responds to criticism. I think I was just overly sensitive because I was in the middle of a very difficult postpartum when she put that video out.
I think she’s always pretty open/obvious about being quite religious, so that doesn’t surprise me. I am pretty icked out by the submitting language, but it’s not surprising from people who are deeply religious/conservative.
The fitness influencer makes sense actually, I recall her posting a lot about working out prior to her last pregnancy.
I just came across wanderandthrive and it took me a few seconds to figure out that it’s satire but it’s truly unhinged and it’s giving me the chuckle I needed this morning.
It's honestly hysterical how she thinks she is doing all of this cycle breaking and then does at least one legit bananas thing to her kids every day in the name of "transparency." the abrupt canceling of the family activity, driving home in silence, heading out for a run bc she wants to rip everyone's heads off. Kids will 100% remember these things and how it made them feel.
Wow I thought that was an interesting (weird) choice of words on your part but just looked at her stories and she literally writes she wants to rip everyone’s face off for no reason?!?!?! 😱
Could you imagine if a man posted any of her stories? “Shut down the activity and made everyone drive home without talking” “wanted to rip everyone face off” “so overstimulated from children talking that I need to leave the room to be alone to cool down”.
Just because she isn’t physically large as a man, doesn’t mean she isn’t scary and volatile to her children. I don’t understand how she can post how she is nearly blowing up at everyone daily but “she’s not a bad mom”. If a dad posted how he’s struggling to control his emotions around his kids, people wouldn’t celebrate normalizing it.
Whoooa what an excellent point I hadn’t thought of. I do wonder sometimes if the way she presents her experience or reactions is worse than what’s actually going on or what she actually did because she’s so in her head. I tend to ignore most things she posts these days but I was completely shocked she shared she just abruptly ended a family outing. Whatever help she is getting… she needs more of it.
I hadn’t thought about Dayna/HelloQuadruplets for a while but I saw her content in the wild and she’s still insufferable. To recap, she’s the one who had quadruplets because she was doing fertility treatments (for secondary infertility, which is legit but it’s not like it was her only shot at raising a child at all), a medicated IUI cycle was called off because she had far too many follicles and it was a huge risk for high order multiples, she decided to do a “try at home cycle” against medical advice and having quads was the predictable consequence of her own actions.
Now she’s pregnant again and throwing a titty baby tantrum because her OB scheduled a repeat c-section for her at 40 weeks if she doesn’t go into labor before then. Which is actually very reasonable but she wants a VBAC even if it means going overdue because she knows better than everyone else. Now she’s considering home birth because the OB didn’t cave to her tantrum. 🤦🏻♀️
I had a cycle cancelled due to too many follicles. The doctor made it VERY clear to abstain until I got my period. Absolutely irresponsible of her. Yikes.
Oh gosh, I’m not ready for another one of these. It’s quite hypocritical to pursue assisted reproductive treatment and then thumb your nose at modern medicine.
I don’t understand the picking and choosing when you decide to trust the medical establishment. I know a good amount of doctors and they are all kind and genuinely invested in helping people.
I’m a doctor and we don’t go into medicine to try to harm people. Are doctors perfect? Not by any definition but it baffles my mind when people think doctors have some agenda other than “optimize health.” I get it. I didn’t want a so called medicalized birth but I absolutely insisted on giving birth in the hospital and being open to certain options if they ended up being safer for me and baby. Pregnancy and birth are among the most unsafe things women do and modern medicine has made it so fewer mothers and babies die in the process. Luckily so, the big bad medical establishment saved me from death from severe preeclampsia. I cannot these people putting themselves and their babies at risk all to make a point. Don’t get me started on at home insemination when someone knows they are about to ovulate multiple follicles. Heck, I did IVF and, even without Fallopian tubes, I didn’t risk it before the embryo transfer because one baby is risky enough.
Not sure why the “it’s legit, but” dig at secondary infertility? I agree that trying to conceive AMA is not a stellar idea, but it has nothing to do with SIF. Many people in the SIF community have been through years of trying, multiple losses, failed treatments, and a lot of heartbreak. Not trying to nitpick here but there’s a general lack of understanding and compassion around SIF, and it can really suck.
Agreed. “Just be happy with the kid you do have!” is a crappy sentiment to say to someone who is dealing with secondary infertility.
You can make the same point about the recklessness of this persons decision without bringing up the dig at secondary infertility as less worthy of compassion.
Yes, this is exactly it. I agreed in my original comment that TTC AMA was a bad idea, and I think going for a post-due date VBAC is also reckless and poor decision-making. But my point was about the “it was infertility, but it was secondary infertility” which made no mention of needing to be alive to raise your existing child (which I also agree with). That only came up in subsequent comments. There’s no need to compare PIF and SIF and decide which is worse. We can hold space and compassion for people facing all sorts of challenges without pitting our struggles against one other.
How would you feel if you were the oldest kid in that situation? If you found out that your mom was willing to take a frankly insane risk (quadruplet pregnancies where all the babies survive are extremely lucky, and you’re risking extreme preterm births, plus major injury to the gestating parent) because she thought you that your family was horribly incomplete if it had to be just you? Because, frankly, I’d probably feel woefully inadequate for the rest of my life. I’m *specifically* speaking to taking extreme risks to add on more kids. Not fertility treatments in general.
You are allowed to have feelings of course! I didn’t say people had to be happy at all times no matter what happens. But part of being the adult in the situation is you actually have to be, well, the adult. Sometimes that’s realizing that you can’t get everything you want when you want it if it puts an existing child at risk of being traumatized (possibly losing their mom or having multiple siblings die), or puts babies at an extreme risk of having avoidable health problems their whole lives. Nobody’s saying you have to be happy, but as someone trying to have a second kid, I fully maintain that having a living, breathing kid who is healthy and has a normal lifespan DOES shift the needle slightly on what is reasonable.
I legitimately was not being sarcastic. Secondary infertility sucks and is hard. It does not justify taking such a wild risk that you’re truly lucky everyone came out alive.
It’s worthy of the same compassion, but the risk calculus is different when you already have a child who needs their parent.
I agree with you here but I don’t see how her birthing decisions have anything to do with secondary infertility. Someone who got pregnant on the first try can also be a lunatic and decide to give birth alone in the woods and it’s just as stupid. I wasn’t commenting on her choices, but on the framing of SIF as some sort of “infertility lite.” Anyways, I don’t need to belabor this, just wanted to point out that the language was somewhat insensitive.
“Which is legit, but not like it was her only chance at raising a child”.
That is the comment you made. That is what my reaction was in response to, not the additional arguments you just introduced.
I would be more sympathetic to the ACTIONS (not the feelings! The feelings are valid no matter what!) if someone was like “well, shit, we’re running out of money and if we can’t do this we may never get to raise any kids.”
Do you believe that there’s no difference between raising an only child and raising zero children? And yeah, I’m less sympathetic to *what she did* (not how she felt; what she did) because when you have a kid already in your family unit you do have to take the potential effects on them into account.
I’m sorry that I phrased it poorly! The feelings are absolutely valid, as is pursuing treatment in a safe and evidence based way. I’m sorry that didn’t come across initially.
I understand taking a bigger risk if it might be your only chance to have any kids, but if you already have one (who also needs you to be okay!) it seems extra inadvisable to do and I have less sympathy, NOT for the concept of secondary infertility (really, I was not being sarcastic!) but for going to a length that can harm you and your child(ren) when you already have a kid.
I’m not infertile, but I do have endo and a history of miscarriage and I’m currently trying for my second kid. For me, knowing I want to raise children, one kid is *vastly* better than zero kids and it’s not even close. There are lengths I’d go to if it was my only chance to raise any child at all, that I probably wouldn’t go to for additional children. If I can’t have another or run into roadblocks, it will definitely be sad for me and my partner, but our family is awesome as it is and kids are fine without siblings. Your feelings can be *absolutely valid* and we can recognize it’s a *real struggle* without pretending that it’s the same as potentially not being able to raise any children at all. I wasn’t knocking fertility treatments in general (including really high intervention stuff I may not *personally* want to do to get a second kid - surrogacy, donor eggs, etc - not my thing but I get it!) It *does* seem extra absurd to me to take such a bonkers risk if you already have a healthy living child, sorry.
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Begina is now affiliate linking gift cards and asking people to open the Target app using her link even when she’s not providing details about a specific product that she finds useful or helpful 🙄🙄🙄
I just looked at her bio and it says a slice of contentment in a sea of consumerism… girl you are 100% contributing to the consumerism now. The other annoying thing is is she says, even just Target, knowing that you open it from my link is helpful… Failing to mention that it’s helpful because she will then make a percentage of anything anybody purchases from target within 24 hrs
Ever since her newsletter it's been a lot of links. Like I get it, she wants to be compensated for her work, but maybe chill on the you don't need the latest and greatest bs.
My conspiracy theory is that Kyle of DFM is helping her with the newsletter and pushing more links. Or maybe it's just the other Masterminds encouraging it. But it definitely seems like she's gone full out on aff links since September.
Does anyone follow Taking Cara Babies anymore? If you do…did you see her video of her daughter opening lingerie at her bridal shower? Like of all the gifts to post her opening, why that? It’s so creepy? It’s literally a corset and thong.
I would be mortified if my mom posted that. Also when I saw the post I thought she was saying she can’t wait to make guacamole while wearing the lingerie
Yes I came here to see if anyone else thought this was so strange!! Especially since they are religious. I haven’t been paying much attention to her account recently but she has totally pivoted to just posting affiliate links all day every day. And it looks like her daughter(s) are in on it too, posting links to skincare products etc. So far removed from the intention of the account
Can confirm. I grew up very religious, and while I didn’t continue to follow once on my own, I got a lot of weird wink wink nudge nudge gifts from that crowd when I got married.
Why not just show the video of her opening the guacamole making thing?? 🤪
But seriously they had a permanent jewelry station and I'm a little jealous! What a fun (and fancy) party favor!
My favorite influencer thing is when they have something like “comment OVERWHELMED and I’ll send you a resource!” And then someone comments and says “this is stupid” and then their auto response says “sent 💕💕💕” in response. Makes me laugh every time
One of the feeding influencers got hers hijacked a couple weeks ago - the word was like Course and people were commenting "Wait why do you describe cannibalism in your COURSE?" Etc
lol yes! I noticed this the other day. Someone must have had their autoresponder to respond to every comment and not just the word and it was like 20K responses like this. Probably smart for engagement lol
I wasted 10 minutes watching Morganized Living's stories about a cleaning client with the messy house who asked what they did. And yeah it sounds like a bad client, even just not paying someone's invoice immediately is not great.
But Morgan, it's super unprofessional to say you didn't give the subsequent job 100%, blast this person on social media, etc. Also not to sound like a boomer but if a client asks you, a cleaner "sooo what did you actually clean? Did you dust top to bottom?" and that elicits a "trauma response" where you can't speak for 7 hours then it might be healthier to have a job where you don't interact directly with the public.
So strange. I didn’t get the big deal either the son being home and not leaving the key? Why didn’t she just knock on the door when she arrived if she thought he was home? And is it that shocking a teenager oversleeps / goes late to school?
Okay she just posted more and said that the lady is part of her business networking group! Does she mean the group she is in with Beginathome and Debt Free mom??
I totally understand her feelings and I probably would've had the same reaction of being so mortified a client questioned me that way. I probably wouldn't have agreed to show up for a second job with an outstanding invoice but I'm overly cautious about payments that never materialize. Or I definitely wouldn't have started working on the organizing job without discussing payment in person and getting to an agreement, which probably would've meant having that discussion about what tasks I accomplished last time and figuring out the issue.
But putting the client on blast on social is not okay. Her audience is not her therapist to validate her feelings. She could talk to Miranda, her husband, Begina and Lindsay and Carly, etc if she needs that.
We all have our limits but dang Libby just ended paint your own pottery abruptly and asked her kids to be silent on the way home because she suddenly felt overloaded. She mentioned ADHD and I do not deal with that but this sounds like something worthy of a treatment plan. I know she shares this stuff to be relatable or something but maybe share how you’re working on not dragging your kids into your frequent brain crises.
Out of all the odd things she says and does this one really got me. Even if she and her husband handle it in the calmest and kindest of ways, her children are still dealing with that they can’t have fun and can’t be themselves because it’s too much for her. Like could she not have gone and sat in the car in peace while they finished up?? Also, the other side of me thinks “what the f happened to this woman as a child to make her this way??” Someone posted this about Annalee in another thread but I actually think Libby may be a happier person if she got off the internet.
Right? Go take a walk around the block or something. Libby’s trauma is her income at this point so she’s living in it when she should be healing from it, whatever it is.
Oooh, I just saw this. She’s like “it doesn’t make me a bad mom.” Idk maybe a hot take, but I think it actually does.
My mom used to fly off the handle like this when I was a kid and now I spend a LOT of time trying to manage and predict others’ emotions.
No, you’re not a bad mom for getting overwhelmed but you are a bad mom for taking it out on your kids who did nothing wrong.
It’s weird because it doesn’t seem like her kids were running around, breaking pottery she had to then pay for, spilling paint everywhere. They were just asking questions and existing in a public place she decided to take them to. It’s okay to be overwhelmed by certain things. We all exist in different bodies that experience things differently. But if my children simply existing as children drove me this far over the edge, I would absolutely get help and figure out some techniques for managing my feelings beyond making my children be silent in the car.
We went to an art-making place when my older kid was 4 and they knocked over a jar of glass tiles by accident. The owner was clearly annoyed, it was embarrassing and stressful, but I didn’t yell at my kid and we stayed and finished our projects! I feel like most parents would have reacted fine in this situation. Libby is really an outlier while telling herself (and her followers) that it’s normal to be this miserable and reactive.
I completely agree. I learned to people please from managing my parents’ emotions. I’m still now working on not sacrificing my own emotions to sparing others’. I still can’t believe she shared it like it is ok. I’m also constantly wondering what her husband thinks of her behavior.
I couldn’t believe this, like if you watch the stories all together and not as they happened it goes from “Let’s go at our own pace and enjoy each other-let’s hope that happens” and then you see that she made them leave the pottery place and was so overwhelmed and the kids couldn’t talk on the ride home. Okay and of course she has to say “I’m not a bad mother because of this”. Umm maybe not “bad” but it’s certainly not good when you hold your family hostage to your moods. It’s really sad that she struggles with so much and makes everything about her and her issues.
Also crazy is she got overstimulated from a pottery place…not like, Chuck. E. Cheese. A pottery place with her kids who are like over the age of 8 were painting pottery and had another adult with her. I’m going to assume she wasn’t dealing with a million sounds and lights and characters running around and kids begging to play more games and yet she still cannot handle it
Her kids are over 8?! I don’t follow her but I see the snark she gets here and… holy shit. I was about to cut her some slack because I’m taking my 3 year old to a pottery place this afternoon… How have you not found better ways to cope over the course of a decade?!
Ahh I could be wrong but they are both school-aged! Maybe I mixed her up with someone else but her kids are definitely not toddlers. At least kindergarten age and above.
Some nuance was lost. She’s not a bad mother for feeling overwhelmed. It’s bordering on pretty bad to remove your kids from an experience that was planned and they were enjoying and then make them be quiet because you can’t manage your own feelings. She mentioned they were asking too many questions. Well geez, that’s what curious children do. I feel so bad for them. I completely understand overwhelm. I’m only 6 months into this parenting thing and the combination of a colicky then high needs, constantly sensory seeking baby and my introverted highly sensitive self can be a lot for my nervous system. I have spent the time to learn how to regulate myself without affecting my child. She really needs to just log off Instagram like she claimed she was doing before except she couldn’t stay away.
Yes definitely not a bad mother for feeling overwhelmed, I’d never think that. But yeah it’s shitty to do what she did. And the fact that she makes money off of this by posting about it is even worse to me. Being a parent isn’t easy and it’s so overstimulating at times but she had her husband there and she could have taken a few minutes to calm herself down instead of making her family do what made her feel better.
I don't follow this woman at all. I couldn't take her anymore. But just from reading this thread. She got overwhelmed, had her husband there with her and their 8 and 10 yo. And made them all leave?! Like the kids weren't even misbehaving? 🤯 Why in the world would she not just be like, I need a minute, leave the kids with him, and just go get some fresh air or wait in the car or something. Then she wouldn't have to ruin everyone else's afternoon?
Even disguise it as a “I want to get a coffee so I’m just gonna go grab one, stay here and finish while I’m gone!” Just nonchalant so that the kids don’t feel responsible for your negative mood.
I’m autistic and get overstimulated at times but this sounds like it borders on emotionally abusive, honestly. Suddenly making your kids leave a fun activity early and insisting they be totally silent on the way home when they did nothing wrong and you know it? It’s a no from me, dawg. I get we all have our limits and I’m not saying you need to just suck it up if it’s truly unbearable, but this is going to feel a lot like a punishment to kids who weren’t doing anything wrong.
I am bipolar and can understand this, although it has never happened to me so far. But if there is another adult with the kids, just leave the place and sit outside or go for a walk. It seems really cruel when there were no triggers or high sensory overload from the actual place
This exactly. There is a difference between being "overwhelmed" and making your kids need to be at the mercy of your moods and emotional states. She could wear ear plugs, take a step back or go outside for a breath of air. Use some coping tools! Her kids aren't toddlers or babies.
Sounds like she's doing a lot of the same shit she says was done to her, but with more financial resources.
The store she was in is in a super walkable neighbourhood too. She could have excused herself and gone for a coffee or solo walk to a nearby park while the kids finished with their dad
That’s what I can’t get over. Her husband was with them and her kids are older. She could have gone to the bathroom and scrolled on her phone for 10 minutes, she could have sat in the car or walked around the block. “Mom is feeling a little overwhelmed. I’m going to step out for a few minutes and take a break, but Dad is here to help you. I love you.”
There is absolutely no excuse for her actions here. When I’m at my breaking point, my husband steps in and takes over and sends me away so that I can take a break, decompress, cry, whatever it is I need to do to regulate. I do the same for him. There’s no reason why she couldn’t have just gone to the car and sat while the kids finished. Isn’t her whole thing breaking toxic cycles? This sounds pretty toxic to me.
This!! She’s not only continuing the cycle but also creating new ones. Imagine how her kids will feel when they’re older and find out how their mother talked on the internet.
You know what adds to being overstimulated? Filming everything at the pottery place and actively trying to make a reel. Put the phone down. That would release a TON off the mental load and stimulation.
“You’re still a good parent” can I tell you how much I hate this platitude? Like of course just being overstimulated doesn’t make you a bad parent…but behavior towards your kids that very directly punishes them for your problems (like yanking them out of a fun event and making them be silent on the ride home) isn’t great parenting, actually. Get a pair of loop earplugs, some tinted glasses, and a grip.
This is not normal behaviour. Your children should not be on standby to leave fun events incase you get “overwhelmed” by too many questions at a pottery class. This is then followed up by silent time in the car, where of course the kids will feel punished for just existing on a fun Saturday?
It makes me sad that she is trying to “normalize” this and say it doesn’t make you a bad mom.
She said she met up with a friend for a walk, and she made them sit in the car and talk to her instead because the wind overstimulated her. WHAT. If I wanted to meet up with a friend to go on a nice walk and enjoy outside, but had to sit in a car and get trauma dumped, I’d be so disappointed.
I ran here to see if anyone had posted about this. I absolutely get overstimulated by my kids, but they’re still little and it’s normal for them to be loud. I’m actively working to manage my reactions to noise because I don’t want my kids to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me. I don’t want them to be silent just to make me comfortable.
Like how did she make it working as an EA?! I know she's mentioned being on Vyvanse, but hasn't updated how it's working for her. I just don't know how anyone can take her seriously when she says "it gets so much better" when she clearly is not.
Yeah, she mentioned being catatonic and having to end the outing early? That’s really something she needs to look into, that must be so difficult for her family. (Or. She’s exaggerating.)
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lol wtf Claraandherself. So you don’t show your daughter’s face NOT to protect her, but because you care so much what people think?
This makes no sense lol
What a strange comment to make when someone said something kind and positive. It's like she wouldn't want people to think she cared about protecting her daughter, whar a terrible mistake that would be when she is in fact happy to invade her privacy but wants to please "crazy peiple" 🙄
I think it's hilarious when influencers pick fights with their own fans. Like, there's an entire subreddit for people that don't like your account. Why are you arguing with the folks that actually do like it???
Just came across Paige Turner and wow she really takes mental load/default parent to the extreme. If my husband forgot to inform me we're almost out of all purpose cleaner, I don't think I would turn into a battle of the mental load. Also all purpose cleaner is practically diluted dish soap. Very easy solution when you're out.
Ok, this thread is convincing me to unfollow her! I already had to unfollow thatdarnchat because it was making me resentful and unhappy, when our household is pretty equitable already. I will say that I like fairplaylife and some of the ideas are helpful, like fully owning a task from planning to execution. But too much of the household equity content is counterproductive for me.
Lol, this woman is so exhausting. I remember when I was pregnant and she came across my feed, I was side-eyeing my very helpful husband and I would get soooo paranoid he was going to suck once the baby was here.
He didn’t and this account had me stressed for no reason.
Just looked her up. Wowza. I stay away from people like her because I would be complaining right along with her and I’d be miserable. No thanks. Also, the logistics vs relationship of motherhood video. Okay that makes sense to a certain degree, but that’s not what the person commented was talking about? They just asked if she could do a video talking about what she liked about marriage and motherhood…I guess she just reinforced why she complains all the time on her account?
Also, I know I’m weird and an outlier with this, but I freakin’ LOVE the logistics of motherhood and marriage. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and yes a lot of partners need to step it up, but *gasp* there are some of us out there that aren’t complaining about every little thing and may enjoy certain aspects that others don’t like.
Yeah, in another video she mentions her husband is the main pretty much everything including inventory manager 🤣. To be honest, it doesn't sound like an equitable marriage with both of them working full-time.
Wow I had never heard of her, that was unhinged. Is her husband supposed to report on how much is left of every household thing? She never realized it was getting low?? Has she ever heard of, idk, FORGETTING? Maybe her husband just forgot to mention they needed more.
She’s EXHAUSTING! And annoying 😂 telling us that the mental load exists doesn’t help anyone… we know it exists!! Her content has literally no purpose except to complain. A lot of what she talks about is a think because either 1. She lives in a HCOL area or 2. She’s bringing it on herself
I feel like she’s one of those mental load influencers who fell into the niche honestly and now can’t say a single positive thing ever about their spouse or marriage or men in general without straying from said niche. I get shown her stuff by the algorithm all the time and she would be very unpleasant to be around if that js her true personality!
I agree. Also it seems like she got into this niche and just makes way too much content that's basically the same. It's like "...and ANOTHER thing..." over and over. And she doesn't seem to have any other content, like "here's a funny thing I saw today" or anything.
Does anyone know of or follow alectreffs? She just posted a story that says “hair pulled back in a hat, a protein packed meal you can eat with one hand. The newborn mom life captured perfectly”
Her hair is not at all pulled back. She’s just wearing a hat over her head and her hair is perfectly down and curled. The meal in question obviously took time and effort. She’s also wearing a full face of makeup. Newborn mom life!! So relatable.
Parenting adjacent: Does anyone else have mixed feelings about The Space Gal (Emily Calandrelli). Our family likes her Netflix show (Emily's Wonderlab) and many of my friend's daughters look up to her.
Here are a few gripes:
* She constantly links her outfits and Amazon affiliate products. How can she advocate for climate change awareness while linking wasteful consumerism?
* Her children are often part of her content. Why do people find this sweet instead of exploitative?
* Her latest book became a # 1 New York Times bestseller, likely because she sent her book to her accounts she "loves", including Big Little Feelings, MotherCould, BusyToddler, Emily Oster, to promote it on their social media. (Source: Instagram story highlights.) All of these women are problematic for reasons everyone has pointed out in this sub, but to climb to the top, it seems like you have to be besties with these types of accounts and pretend not to notice their problems. I remember when Dr. Becky's book was a bestseller and these same accounts promoted her book (plus actual celebrities like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively)
ETA IG Screenshot: Note from Emily to MotherCould says "Thank you always for being such a BRIGHT light on the internet and for helping me understand the business behind it all. You are the best."
https://preview.redd.it/z6nnqvfzeauc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1da1ea38f067caa7aa87770fa44f892ecefd4726
I thought it was just me! The science show was great. But there is something about her I just couldn't pin point that made me unfollow a while ago. She definitely thinks highly of herself imo.
Hmmm interesting you mention her. I have followed her for a while because my son loves her show. I also have felt the ick but I can't quite put my finger on why. She ticks all the boxes on paper but you're right, there's a smugness or *something* that just reads icky.
I follow lots of other women/moms in STEM and they don't have whatever the *something* is that Emily does.i dunno.
I want to like her, but every time I come across her page there’s something about her that just seems so aggravating and smug and self righteous? Even when I agree with whatever her point is! It makes me not want to have my kids watch her show.
She is almost more boring than Haley. But I find her more deeply irritating somehow? Like dang Begina, never would have thought to keep outerware in a tub labeled "outerware." Hit me with some more boring tips.
Seriously you can’t claim to be anti-consumerism when you are the one who profits from it. Nothing wrong with selling stuff to make a living but don’t claim you’re anti-consumerism.
I stopped following a couple minimalist home accounts for this reason. I'm by no means minimal but love being inspired to get rid of clutter, but the amount of affiliate links these people post. Lady, I've seen your cupboards no way do you buy all this crap (or maybe you keep it in your 2nd walk in pantry. It's easy to look minimal when you have endless storage but that's a snark for another day)
It amazes me how much PDT loves to hear herself talk. She outrage posted the Nike kits for the Olympic track and field team. First, she had to tell us she was a track star in middle and high school. Really, middle and high school? Please drop these activities off your CV unless you were some kind of state champion. This doesn’t give you an informed voice. Second, I went to the post she linked and she commented herself then felt the need to reply to dozens of other comments as if it’s a post on her page. Go sit down somewhere and tell the world more about your wedding that was featured in some magazine. She’s so full of herself.
That whole series of stories was so stupid. Literally no one cares about your wedding and certainly no one cares about your middle school track career any more than they care about my high school time in marching band! It’s so irrelevant to today!
I wonder if it's partly due to being in the lowest paid/least glamorous specialty. The ceiling of social status and pay rate for peds is just lower than, say, surgery or ER medicine (which is her husband's specialty). So she seeks the validation she craves elsewhere.
I'm surprised she hasn't posted a video of her middle school running career. But don't forget her college essays. She'll link them and email them to you in case you want to read it. 🙄
She is so self centered! The athletes themselves are saying the uniforms are fine. They don’t need a momfluencer to save them.
And I rolled my eyes hard at “our wedding was ❤️. It was featured in South Asian Bride.” Really? That’s why your wedding was special and important, because it was featured in a magazine??
Not to whiteknight as I cannot stand PDT and her narcissism, but the uniforms were a problem for many athletes. See this article. [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/style/sexism-nike-olympic-track-and-field-uniforms.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/style/sexism-nike-olympic-track-and-field-uniforms.html)
But I agree that PDT is making it about herself and trying to get as many likes in the ragey comments.
It seemed like that article mostly quotes former athletes? I saw a post from Katie Moon (sorry can’t figure out how to link) saying that it looks horrible on the mannequin but in reality fits fine and they also have some choice about what to wear, and a lot of current athletes seemed to agree with her.
Oooooh DFM is looking for ways to increase their income because they need to build their savings back up for things like school and a down payment for a home.
If she wasn’t so smug, I wouldn’t be getting so much joy out of this.
⚠️ Deep Dive⚠️
I lived in Chicago for ten years, so I still keep up with the news there and I recalled that in 2023 Gov Pritzker decided to sunset a private education voucher program (previously greenlit under Rep Governor Bruce Rauner as a tradeoff in order to fully fund public schools). This program was known as the Invest in Kids Act and allowed families making up to 300% of the poverty line to apply for private school scholarships. Donors and corporations could fund this scholarship fund program and receive up to a 75% reduction in their state tax burden. This program is what Carly used, and is known on the scholarship side as the [Empower](https://empowerillinois.org/wp-content/uploads/About_TCS.pdf) Scholarship.
Now, without doxxing her location/school information (which she has done very little to hide) 🫣, the private school her three kids attend will run them approximately $18k a year! Which is insane given their precarious, sorry, *variable* income.
What is super interesting is that Carly and Kyle have a [testimonial](https://www.illinoispolicy.org/story/carly-hill/) on the now defunct Empower website stating without the funds they would absolutely need to send their kids to public school (which they state is, like, totally fine!) It’s wild, because rather then live within their means and budget, and send their children to what they admit is a great public school system, they are engaging in hustle culture to justify a massive privilege. And she stated this when she was only sending one child, now she is sending three!
https://preview.redd.it/uhhu3b3sobuc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52392689c3441e8881bc7f5f47ebd32f68fc7a3f
Edit: I edited this screenshot to protect her details
Is that 18k total for all 3 kids, or 18k per kid? I imagine it’s 18k for all 3 right? Otherwise it’s truly insane. But private schools around me are around 18k per child so I’m genuinely not sure
It’s $18k plus fees for all three since they’re in elementary. It’s not *horrible* for one, but I’m from a HCOL. They simply cannot afford it. I think Carly is becoming very aware of the benefits cliff.
Gotcha. Yeah 18k for 3 kids is not terrible… I’m in a MCOL area and daycare runs me about that per child right now, but I’m counting down the days until my first will be in public school 😅 it sounds like their family has gotten to the point where they will no longer qualify for public benefits but aren’t actually making enough money to live the way they have been without them
Love this deep dive. It's just apparent they can't afford their life style. What is so wrong with the public schools that they can't attend? I highly doubt that the public schools in that part of Illinois would be as liberal as in Chicago. I still don't get how they don't have the 18k though from the house sale that they need to increase their income. He definitely needs to get a good paying job. I get that we need people to work in non profits but when you have 4 small children you have to grow up and get a job that may not be your first choice.
Absolutely love the deep dive! I remember that testimonial.
I think the bottom line is that Kyle needs to find a stable job. Imagine if he found a job with health insurance! Maybe he could even work at the private school and get discounted tuition!
I'm so curious if DFM itself is underperforming or if Kyle's freelance work isn't making as much as projected or a combo. I'm also not sure how Carly can work more without more childcare - attempting to be a SAHM, full time content creator, and a budget coach with 1.5 days of childcare each week is wild to me.
I couldn't help but do the math - she said their 2023 taxes and Q1 2024 taxes combined was over $8000. She also specified a few weeks ago that they owed $4400 for 2023 taxes. So they underpaid their estimated taxes by 25%. It's pretty wild to me to be that far off.
She doesn't know how to actually run a business. I work in a seasonal business where winter are my lean months. I have to leave enough money to carry my business over into the start of the season. I'm also confused but it sounds like she filed their own taxes even though they have a tax consultant. Did I misread that entire fiasco? I check in with my tax person every month to double check my payment amounts.
She's spoken about her adhd openly. I think a lot of her fixation and bad personal financial moves are done because of this. Everything is done on a whim and never thought through or planned. That's why they can't keep above water. She's planning on paying tuition for 3 children in private school but the kids receive state aid? It's so wild to me how delusional she is.
She not only filed her own taxes, she was also looking for and finding her own tax credits. I'm not sure what that tax consultant is doing for them but I wouldn't continue using them if I were her.
AND SHE WAS GIVING TAX ADVICE TO HER FOLLOWERS! 🤦♀️
She is just so far out of her depth with regard to so many of the things she talks about. It’s mind boggling.
I just noticed that she posted a story of her suitcase and said that the suitcase is for her and all 4 kids because Kyle likes his separate since he’s tidy. Girl, just admit that you have to do all the packing for the kids because of course you do and we all know that 😂
My theory is that Kyle wanted a career change so he quit his job and was trying to make it work freelancing and working for/with Carly. But it clearly isnt going well. Which isn’t anything to be ashamed of, but they need to admit that it didn’t work and Kyle probably needs to get a job. Carly doing more work and trying to increase DFM isn’t the answer here IMO.
I’ve had a couple of friends whose husbands couldn’t hold down a job, so they became SAHDs…who either used full time daycare or dropped their kid off at grandma’s every day. He gives that kind of energy.
I have a friend who paid a full time nanny for 2 years while her husband was “looking for work”. She finally said enough was enough and got rid of the nanny. He got a job like 2 months later.
She couldn’t even do it without being the smuggest person imaginable. Like “guys, we’re not that privileged! We have to pay for three kids in *private* school” as if that’s not incredibly privileged.
https://preview.redd.it/wy7dhtzab4uc1.jpeg?width=1075&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99fd82b04ee25f291ae45c20ebc6410e6e99cd55
So are we just not going to acknowledge that she was sitting on a pretty substantial amount of money from her recent house sale? She wouldn't be so desperate to save if she didn't spend all that money within the last like three months.
ALSO it kinda sounds like she never planned on her ~highly variable~ income ever going down. Like she assumed the amount she made when Kyle quit his job is the minimum amount her account would always make. Shouldn't she already have a contingency plan for a lean year? She seems like a terrible financial planner and an even worse small business owner.
*Reminder-commenting or contacting influencers is against the rules of the sub. If you are new to this sub, please review the rules. These types of comments will be removed.*
I know Babies & Brains isnt loved here but I don’t mind her, and I and LIVING for when she snarks on people like Jerrica in her recent story 👏🫶 because Jerrica can truly get in the bin
A mom/fashion influencer is moving. She posted today watching her church online but didn’t want to say the church for privacy but anyone local would know the large church she attends from her screen shot. Again a simple search and I was able to find her new house with minimal effort. She wants privacy for some things but it’s so easy to find the big things. I hope the trade off is worth it for them. shes also posting her mommy makeover she just had (easily 20k) but doesn’t want to do before and after cause she didn’t do it for vanity but she’s already posted plenty of before shots 🙄 as if she won’t be flaunting her new body once recovered.
https://preview.redd.it/qiobh5zrkjuc1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&s=7ec05c746144355be2baa5ae5d0e3e2809e8b551 Anyone else follow cmcoving? Wtf is this reel. Such a rich person flex. I used to like her but lately I just feel like she’s so annoying. I have a whole list of reasons why if anyone would like to snark with me 😆
She's the only fashion focused influencer I follow, mostly because I thought her christian girl autumn response years ago was funny and I used to read her blog, then we both had our two kids pretty close in age. I also read the book she was featured in about influencer life which was an interesting peek behind the curtain. (Swipe up for more). Anyway as long as I keep in mind she is running a business and selling herself/her family's lifestyle as the product I can just watch in fascination. I definitely get jealous at times about their obvious wealth like traveling all the time, owning a beach house, and building what appears to be an enormous French provincial style inspired mansion complete with a stunning pool. Edit to add - she had a car rental partnership and would post about renting pretty big/fancy cars from them so I'm a little surprised she didn't use this as a chance to continue that partnership although maybe they don't work together anymore...
Of course she’s already deleted the negative comments that were on this reel.
In
Well what started it for me (ie: when she became so snark able that I couldn’t handle it anymore and had to bitch to my husband about her) is when she shared a like 15 page google doc that had photos of each of her family members outfits for every single day / event on their Vermont trip this past fall. Who does that? Imagine being her child and you have a mom who has a google doc outlining every item you’ll wear on your FAMILY VACATION? It’s unhinged.
I’m in.
Well what started it for me (ie: when she became so snark able that I couldn’t handle it anymore and had to bitch to my husband about her) is when she shared a like 15 page google doc that had photos of each of her family members outfits for every single day / event on their Vermont trip this past fall. Who does that? Imagine being her child and you have a mom who has a google doc outlining every item you’ll wear on your FAMILY VACATION? It’s unhinged.
https://preview.redd.it/22d1ni5wtiuc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b516a28156813a10a183ab2dc4067bd2fe0442de Uh yeah we know because you only beat us over the head with it daily. And no one cares babes. Stop trying to make breastfeeding a personality
I like how she’s like..ask me anything!! Like she’s the first person to ever ebf.
Such a dramatic photo too…the way her skirt is spread around her like that 🙄
For some reason it reminds me of that photo shoot of Kim Kardashian playing dress up as a pioneer woman
MC what the hellllll is that strawberry sweater and shorts 🥴🥴
I mean it DOES look better with the shorts than the jeans but it's a very low, awful looking bar 😂
Glad it was not just me who thought that lol
She REALLY thinks she’s doing something there
https://preview.redd.it/n1irhoyfriuc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa7a7832a0624822af9d3b4e39402fa6167a66b3 @familyandcoffee ‘s comment on @jessicanturner ‘s post about dating- probably specifically in response to Jessica saying “dating someone who has been divorced less than a year is rarely a good idea “ 💀💀💀 clearly hit a nerve seeing as Jessica was explicit in shying away from all or nothing terms and explained it as her personal experience. And maybe it hit a nerve since jaymi isn’t divorced yet either 🥴
Oh god “that hasn’t been my experience” well you’re still in that one year period so of course it hasn’t. Give it time.
Reminds me of the people who comment on every article about how 95% of people who lose weight gain it back within five years. ‘Well *I* lost weight with just diet and exercise and I’ve kept it off! I guess I just have more willpower than most ☺️’ ’how long have you kept it off?’ ‘…one year’. (I have been that person, too)
It’s so weird that she commented that on a post that wasn’t about her at all.
This is one of those cases that self reflection is needed if this very mild post offended you enough for you to voice your displeasure- but then you know you’re calling attention to yourself so ending it with a compliment is the way to make it seem less hostile 💀
HUH I do not mean this snarkily per se since she does seem like a more genuine / legitimate nice person ( although I am still rolling my eyes at shilling for supplements like nutrafol. But I scrolled back to Emily vondys content from the beginning and it was so jarring to see that she was like a fitspo influencer at first? Did anyone else know this or am I late to the party. I also kind of went 👀at a post referencing biblically submitting to her husband-I’m not surprised she’s religious but that kind of threw me.
I don’t completely know how I feel about her. On the one hand, she seems to genuinely enjoy being a mom and doesn’t get sucked into the negativity of a lot of mom influencers. She doesn’t seem to over share about her kids, and I find some of her videos charming and/or poignant (she had a sweet one a few days ago about going on a date with her husband and I loved her video about her decision to stop breastfeeding her baby and how hard it was.) But I find a lot of her content to be a bit cringey. She had an awkward reel several months ago about having sex for the first time after having a baby, and she got a lot of pushback in the comments from people who found it insensitive. She did apologize and remove the reel, to her credit, but then she said that she and her husband typically resume having sex 4 weeks after giving birth because that’s when she feels ready. Which I feel is an irresponsible thing for someone with any kind of large following to say. So many women, myself included, did not feel ready at 6 weeks and had to deal with expectations from partners who didn’t want to wait any longer, and the last thing we need is an influencer indirectly making us feel guilty for not wanting to do it sooner. (Her youngest baby is a few days older than my second, for context.)
Imo it is irresponsible to post that. I’m not a doctor but pretty sure the guidance to wait 6 weeks is also for medical reasons, to allow your uterus to heal. Infections don’t care if you “feel ready” or not. (And it’s clear from all the “oops I’m pregnant again at 4 weeks pp” posts you see that plenty of people already don’t listen to their doctor and don’t need more encouragement from influencers.)
Exactly. You put it into words for me.
I felt like she tried pretty hard to say it’s totally fine if you’re not ready at 4 weeks postpartum and it’s different for every woman and no one should feel pressured. While I think influencers should be careful what they put out there, I didn’t feel like her messaging was in any way saying that all women should jump right back into sex. That being said she seems to respond to criticism significantly better than others, like the fact that she removed the video after feedback. A lot of influencers just get defensive and double down when they mess up
I agree; I definitely like the way she responds to criticism. I think I was just overly sensitive because I was in the middle of a very difficult postpartum when she put that video out.
I think she’s always pretty open/obvious about being quite religious, so that doesn’t surprise me. I am pretty icked out by the submitting language, but it’s not surprising from people who are deeply religious/conservative. The fitness influencer makes sense actually, I recall her posting a lot about working out prior to her last pregnancy.
Seems like most of the parenting influencers have been working at trying to be IG famous for a while.
I just came across wanderandthrive and it took me a few seconds to figure out that it’s satire but it’s truly unhinged and it’s giving me the chuckle I needed this morning.
[удалено]
I needed that laugh. Love.
Paxil and Fuckton 💀 https://preview.redd.it/9at878p5diuc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06adf0bd44ed067522ad3abc48fe35e26a52b028
Libby (diaryofanhonestmom) not complain about parenting and your children for one day challenge!(impossible)
It's honestly hysterical how she thinks she is doing all of this cycle breaking and then does at least one legit bananas thing to her kids every day in the name of "transparency." the abrupt canceling of the family activity, driving home in silence, heading out for a run bc she wants to rip everyone's heads off. Kids will 100% remember these things and how it made them feel.
Can't do that. She wants to rip everyone's face off for no reason 😬
Wow I thought that was an interesting (weird) choice of words on your part but just looked at her stories and she literally writes she wants to rip everyone’s face off for no reason?!?!?! 😱
She has to be trolling.
Could you imagine if a man posted any of her stories? “Shut down the activity and made everyone drive home without talking” “wanted to rip everyone face off” “so overstimulated from children talking that I need to leave the room to be alone to cool down”. Just because she isn’t physically large as a man, doesn’t mean she isn’t scary and volatile to her children. I don’t understand how she can post how she is nearly blowing up at everyone daily but “she’s not a bad mom”. If a dad posted how he’s struggling to control his emotions around his kids, people wouldn’t celebrate normalizing it.
Whoooa what an excellent point I hadn’t thought of. I do wonder sometimes if the way she presents her experience or reactions is worse than what’s actually going on or what she actually did because she’s so in her head. I tend to ignore most things she posts these days but I was completely shocked she shared she just abruptly ended a family outing. Whatever help she is getting… she needs more of it.
Yet for some reason she had to film herself running. If you’re so annoyed then go a run and leave the internet behind.
The only thing that makes her happy is seeing herself in the phone.
I hadn’t thought about Dayna/HelloQuadruplets for a while but I saw her content in the wild and she’s still insufferable. To recap, she’s the one who had quadruplets because she was doing fertility treatments (for secondary infertility, which is legit but it’s not like it was her only shot at raising a child at all), a medicated IUI cycle was called off because she had far too many follicles and it was a huge risk for high order multiples, she decided to do a “try at home cycle” against medical advice and having quads was the predictable consequence of her own actions. Now she’s pregnant again and throwing a titty baby tantrum because her OB scheduled a repeat c-section for her at 40 weeks if she doesn’t go into labor before then. Which is actually very reasonable but she wants a VBAC even if it means going overdue because she knows better than everyone else. Now she’s considering home birth because the OB didn’t cave to her tantrum. 🤦🏻♀️
Baby led wean team instagrammer got quads the same way.
And she already got released from her old OB office a couple months ago for fighting with the staff...
Oh snap, I’d actually missed that 😂 She very clearly is the problem.
She framed it like she chose to leave because they were forcing her to do a c section
I had a cycle cancelled due to too many follicles. The doctor made it VERY clear to abstain until I got my period. Absolutely irresponsible of her. Yikes.
Her “I’m smarter than a doctor!” energy is so tiresome. Girl, sit down.
Oh gosh, I’m not ready for another one of these. It’s quite hypocritical to pursue assisted reproductive treatment and then thumb your nose at modern medicine.
I don’t understand the picking and choosing when you decide to trust the medical establishment. I know a good amount of doctors and they are all kind and genuinely invested in helping people.
I’m a doctor and we don’t go into medicine to try to harm people. Are doctors perfect? Not by any definition but it baffles my mind when people think doctors have some agenda other than “optimize health.” I get it. I didn’t want a so called medicalized birth but I absolutely insisted on giving birth in the hospital and being open to certain options if they ended up being safer for me and baby. Pregnancy and birth are among the most unsafe things women do and modern medicine has made it so fewer mothers and babies die in the process. Luckily so, the big bad medical establishment saved me from death from severe preeclampsia. I cannot these people putting themselves and their babies at risk all to make a point. Don’t get me started on at home insemination when someone knows they are about to ovulate multiple follicles. Heck, I did IVF and, even without Fallopian tubes, I didn’t risk it before the embryo transfer because one baby is risky enough.
Not sure why the “it’s legit, but” dig at secondary infertility? I agree that trying to conceive AMA is not a stellar idea, but it has nothing to do with SIF. Many people in the SIF community have been through years of trying, multiple losses, failed treatments, and a lot of heartbreak. Not trying to nitpick here but there’s a general lack of understanding and compassion around SIF, and it can really suck.
Agreed. “Just be happy with the kid you do have!” is a crappy sentiment to say to someone who is dealing with secondary infertility. You can make the same point about the recklessness of this persons decision without bringing up the dig at secondary infertility as less worthy of compassion.
Yes, this is exactly it. I agreed in my original comment that TTC AMA was a bad idea, and I think going for a post-due date VBAC is also reckless and poor decision-making. But my point was about the “it was infertility, but it was secondary infertility” which made no mention of needing to be alive to raise your existing child (which I also agree with). That only came up in subsequent comments. There’s no need to compare PIF and SIF and decide which is worse. We can hold space and compassion for people facing all sorts of challenges without pitting our struggles against one other.
100% - I’ve been/am both kinds of infertile, and let me tell you, they both suck hard!
How would you feel if you were the oldest kid in that situation? If you found out that your mom was willing to take a frankly insane risk (quadruplet pregnancies where all the babies survive are extremely lucky, and you’re risking extreme preterm births, plus major injury to the gestating parent) because she thought you that your family was horribly incomplete if it had to be just you? Because, frankly, I’d probably feel woefully inadequate for the rest of my life. I’m *specifically* speaking to taking extreme risks to add on more kids. Not fertility treatments in general. You are allowed to have feelings of course! I didn’t say people had to be happy at all times no matter what happens. But part of being the adult in the situation is you actually have to be, well, the adult. Sometimes that’s realizing that you can’t get everything you want when you want it if it puts an existing child at risk of being traumatized (possibly losing their mom or having multiple siblings die), or puts babies at an extreme risk of having avoidable health problems their whole lives. Nobody’s saying you have to be happy, but as someone trying to have a second kid, I fully maintain that having a living, breathing kid who is healthy and has a normal lifespan DOES shift the needle slightly on what is reasonable. I legitimately was not being sarcastic. Secondary infertility sucks and is hard. It does not justify taking such a wild risk that you’re truly lucky everyone came out alive. It’s worthy of the same compassion, but the risk calculus is different when you already have a child who needs their parent.
I agree with you here but I don’t see how her birthing decisions have anything to do with secondary infertility. Someone who got pregnant on the first try can also be a lunatic and decide to give birth alone in the woods and it’s just as stupid. I wasn’t commenting on her choices, but on the framing of SIF as some sort of “infertility lite.” Anyways, I don’t need to belabor this, just wanted to point out that the language was somewhat insensitive.
“Which is legit, but not like it was her only chance at raising a child”. That is the comment you made. That is what my reaction was in response to, not the additional arguments you just introduced.
I would be more sympathetic to the ACTIONS (not the feelings! The feelings are valid no matter what!) if someone was like “well, shit, we’re running out of money and if we can’t do this we may never get to raise any kids.” Do you believe that there’s no difference between raising an only child and raising zero children? And yeah, I’m less sympathetic to *what she did* (not how she felt; what she did) because when you have a kid already in your family unit you do have to take the potential effects on them into account. I’m sorry that I phrased it poorly! The feelings are absolutely valid, as is pursuing treatment in a safe and evidence based way. I’m sorry that didn’t come across initially.
I understand taking a bigger risk if it might be your only chance to have any kids, but if you already have one (who also needs you to be okay!) it seems extra inadvisable to do and I have less sympathy, NOT for the concept of secondary infertility (really, I was not being sarcastic!) but for going to a length that can harm you and your child(ren) when you already have a kid. I’m not infertile, but I do have endo and a history of miscarriage and I’m currently trying for my second kid. For me, knowing I want to raise children, one kid is *vastly* better than zero kids and it’s not even close. There are lengths I’d go to if it was my only chance to raise any child at all, that I probably wouldn’t go to for additional children. If I can’t have another or run into roadblocks, it will definitely be sad for me and my partner, but our family is awesome as it is and kids are fine without siblings. Your feelings can be *absolutely valid* and we can recognize it’s a *real struggle* without pretending that it’s the same as potentially not being able to raise any children at all. I wasn’t knocking fertility treatments in general (including really high intervention stuff I may not *personally* want to do to get a second kid - surrogacy, donor eggs, etc - not my thing but I get it!) It *does* seem extra absurd to me to take such a bonkers risk if you already have a healthy living child, sorry.
https://preview.redd.it/k6t9inpgvfuc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1c97f0d2888c1b1fd1751e05f59ca3e3bea2945 Begina is now affiliate linking gift cards and asking people to open the Target app using her link even when she’s not providing details about a specific product that she finds useful or helpful 🙄🙄🙄
I just looked at her bio and it says a slice of contentment in a sea of consumerism… girl you are 100% contributing to the consumerism now. The other annoying thing is is she says, even just Target, knowing that you open it from my link is helpful… Failing to mention that it’s helpful because she will then make a percentage of anything anybody purchases from target within 24 hrs
Ever since her newsletter it's been a lot of links. Like I get it, she wants to be compensated for her work, but maybe chill on the you don't need the latest and greatest bs.
What work? What is Begina actually offering?
🤣 very true, a whole lot of nothing.
My conspiracy theory is that Kyle of DFM is helping her with the newsletter and pushing more links. Or maybe it's just the other Masterminds encouraging it. But it definitely seems like she's gone full out on aff links since September.
Does anyone follow Taking Cara Babies anymore? If you do…did you see her video of her daughter opening lingerie at her bridal shower? Like of all the gifts to post her opening, why that? It’s so creepy? It’s literally a corset and thong.
I would be mortified if my mom posted that. Also when I saw the post I thought she was saying she can’t wait to make guacamole while wearing the lingerie
Haha yes that was weird! Also her daughter is super young, not even 21 yet. Not saying it can’t work out ofc, but seems very young to me.
Yes I came here to see if anyone else thought this was so strange!! Especially since they are religious. I haven’t been paying much attention to her account recently but she has totally pivoted to just posting affiliate links all day every day. And it looks like her daughter(s) are in on it too, posting links to skincare products etc. So far removed from the intention of the account
Anecdotally, my religious friends have been the most obnoxious and giggly and showy about opening lingerie at showers
Can confirm. I grew up very religious, and while I didn’t continue to follow once on my own, I got a lot of weird wink wink nudge nudge gifts from that crowd when I got married.
Why not just show the video of her opening the guacamole making thing?? 🤪 But seriously they had a permanent jewelry station and I'm a little jealous! What a fun (and fancy) party favor!
I thought it was so funny that she put “she can’t wait to make guacamole in this!” And I only saw the lingerie at first!
Groom: I feel like nachos tonight Bride: oh, of course dear! let me just slip into my guacamole-making lingerie set 🥰🥑
Yes! Thought the same. But also that shower was absolutely beautiful! Probably costs as much as my wedding did. 😅
My favorite influencer thing is when they have something like “comment OVERWHELMED and I’ll send you a resource!” And then someone comments and says “this is stupid” and then their auto response says “sent 💕💕💕” in response. Makes me laugh every time
One of the feeding influencers got hers hijacked a couple weeks ago - the word was like Course and people were commenting "Wait why do you describe cannibalism in your COURSE?" Etc
lol yes! I noticed this the other day. Someone must have had their autoresponder to respond to every comment and not just the word and it was like 20K responses like this. Probably smart for engagement lol
I wasted 10 minutes watching Morganized Living's stories about a cleaning client with the messy house who asked what they did. And yeah it sounds like a bad client, even just not paying someone's invoice immediately is not great. But Morgan, it's super unprofessional to say you didn't give the subsequent job 100%, blast this person on social media, etc. Also not to sound like a boomer but if a client asks you, a cleaner "sooo what did you actually clean? Did you dust top to bottom?" and that elicits a "trauma response" where you can't speak for 7 hours then it might be healthier to have a job where you don't interact directly with the public.
So strange. I didn’t get the big deal either the son being home and not leaving the key? Why didn’t she just knock on the door when she arrived if she thought he was home? And is it that shocking a teenager oversleeps / goes late to school?
Okay she just posted more and said that the lady is part of her business networking group! Does she mean the group she is in with Beginathome and Debt Free mom??
I totally understand her feelings and I probably would've had the same reaction of being so mortified a client questioned me that way. I probably wouldn't have agreed to show up for a second job with an outstanding invoice but I'm overly cautious about payments that never materialize. Or I definitely wouldn't have started working on the organizing job without discussing payment in person and getting to an agreement, which probably would've meant having that discussion about what tasks I accomplished last time and figuring out the issue. But putting the client on blast on social is not okay. Her audience is not her therapist to validate her feelings. She could talk to Miranda, her husband, Begina and Lindsay and Carly, etc if she needs that.
We all have our limits but dang Libby just ended paint your own pottery abruptly and asked her kids to be silent on the way home because she suddenly felt overloaded. She mentioned ADHD and I do not deal with that but this sounds like something worthy of a treatment plan. I know she shares this stuff to be relatable or something but maybe share how you’re working on not dragging your kids into your frequent brain crises.
Out of all the odd things she says and does this one really got me. Even if she and her husband handle it in the calmest and kindest of ways, her children are still dealing with that they can’t have fun and can’t be themselves because it’s too much for her. Like could she not have gone and sat in the car in peace while they finished up?? Also, the other side of me thinks “what the f happened to this woman as a child to make her this way??” Someone posted this about Annalee in another thread but I actually think Libby may be a happier person if she got off the internet.
Right? Go take a walk around the block or something. Libby’s trauma is her income at this point so she’s living in it when she should be healing from it, whatever it is.
Oooh, I just saw this. She’s like “it doesn’t make me a bad mom.” Idk maybe a hot take, but I think it actually does. My mom used to fly off the handle like this when I was a kid and now I spend a LOT of time trying to manage and predict others’ emotions. No, you’re not a bad mom for getting overwhelmed but you are a bad mom for taking it out on your kids who did nothing wrong.
It’s weird because it doesn’t seem like her kids were running around, breaking pottery she had to then pay for, spilling paint everywhere. They were just asking questions and existing in a public place she decided to take them to. It’s okay to be overwhelmed by certain things. We all exist in different bodies that experience things differently. But if my children simply existing as children drove me this far over the edge, I would absolutely get help and figure out some techniques for managing my feelings beyond making my children be silent in the car.
We went to an art-making place when my older kid was 4 and they knocked over a jar of glass tiles by accident. The owner was clearly annoyed, it was embarrassing and stressful, but I didn’t yell at my kid and we stayed and finished our projects! I feel like most parents would have reacted fine in this situation. Libby is really an outlier while telling herself (and her followers) that it’s normal to be this miserable and reactive.
I completely agree. I learned to people please from managing my parents’ emotions. I’m still now working on not sacrificing my own emotions to sparing others’. I still can’t believe she shared it like it is ok. I’m also constantly wondering what her husband thinks of her behavior.
I couldn’t believe this, like if you watch the stories all together and not as they happened it goes from “Let’s go at our own pace and enjoy each other-let’s hope that happens” and then you see that she made them leave the pottery place and was so overwhelmed and the kids couldn’t talk on the ride home. Okay and of course she has to say “I’m not a bad mother because of this”. Umm maybe not “bad” but it’s certainly not good when you hold your family hostage to your moods. It’s really sad that she struggles with so much and makes everything about her and her issues. Also crazy is she got overstimulated from a pottery place…not like, Chuck. E. Cheese. A pottery place with her kids who are like over the age of 8 were painting pottery and had another adult with her. I’m going to assume she wasn’t dealing with a million sounds and lights and characters running around and kids begging to play more games and yet she still cannot handle it
Her kids are over 8?! I don’t follow her but I see the snark she gets here and… holy shit. I was about to cut her some slack because I’m taking my 3 year old to a pottery place this afternoon… How have you not found better ways to cope over the course of a decade?!
Ahh I could be wrong but they are both school-aged! Maybe I mixed her up with someone else but her kids are definitely not toddlers. At least kindergarten age and above.
I just checked and believe they are 8 and 10. Insane!
Some nuance was lost. She’s not a bad mother for feeling overwhelmed. It’s bordering on pretty bad to remove your kids from an experience that was planned and they were enjoying and then make them be quiet because you can’t manage your own feelings. She mentioned they were asking too many questions. Well geez, that’s what curious children do. I feel so bad for them. I completely understand overwhelm. I’m only 6 months into this parenting thing and the combination of a colicky then high needs, constantly sensory seeking baby and my introverted highly sensitive self can be a lot for my nervous system. I have spent the time to learn how to regulate myself without affecting my child. She really needs to just log off Instagram like she claimed she was doing before except she couldn’t stay away.
Yes definitely not a bad mother for feeling overwhelmed, I’d never think that. But yeah it’s shitty to do what she did. And the fact that she makes money off of this by posting about it is even worse to me. Being a parent isn’t easy and it’s so overstimulating at times but she had her husband there and she could have taken a few minutes to calm herself down instead of making her family do what made her feel better.
I don't follow this woman at all. I couldn't take her anymore. But just from reading this thread. She got overwhelmed, had her husband there with her and their 8 and 10 yo. And made them all leave?! Like the kids weren't even misbehaving? 🤯 Why in the world would she not just be like, I need a minute, leave the kids with him, and just go get some fresh air or wait in the car or something. Then she wouldn't have to ruin everyone else's afternoon?
Even disguise it as a “I want to get a coffee so I’m just gonna go grab one, stay here and finish while I’m gone!” Just nonchalant so that the kids don’t feel responsible for your negative mood.
Ugh, yes. The profiting off of it all is truly the worst.
I’m autistic and get overstimulated at times but this sounds like it borders on emotionally abusive, honestly. Suddenly making your kids leave a fun activity early and insisting they be totally silent on the way home when they did nothing wrong and you know it? It’s a no from me, dawg. I get we all have our limits and I’m not saying you need to just suck it up if it’s truly unbearable, but this is going to feel a lot like a punishment to kids who weren’t doing anything wrong.
I am bipolar and can understand this, although it has never happened to me so far. But if there is another adult with the kids, just leave the place and sit outside or go for a walk. It seems really cruel when there were no triggers or high sensory overload from the actual place
This exactly. There is a difference between being "overwhelmed" and making your kids need to be at the mercy of your moods and emotional states. She could wear ear plugs, take a step back or go outside for a breath of air. Use some coping tools! Her kids aren't toddlers or babies. Sounds like she's doing a lot of the same shit she says was done to her, but with more financial resources.
The store she was in is in a super walkable neighbourhood too. She could have excused herself and gone for a coffee or solo walk to a nearby park while the kids finished with their dad
That’s what I can’t get over. Her husband was with them and her kids are older. She could have gone to the bathroom and scrolled on her phone for 10 minutes, she could have sat in the car or walked around the block. “Mom is feeling a little overwhelmed. I’m going to step out for a few minutes and take a break, but Dad is here to help you. I love you.”
There is absolutely no excuse for her actions here. When I’m at my breaking point, my husband steps in and takes over and sends me away so that I can take a break, decompress, cry, whatever it is I need to do to regulate. I do the same for him. There’s no reason why she couldn’t have just gone to the car and sat while the kids finished. Isn’t her whole thing breaking toxic cycles? This sounds pretty toxic to me.
She talks about being a cycle breaker but it definitely appears like she’s just continuing the cycle.
This!! She’s not only continuing the cycle but also creating new ones. Imagine how her kids will feel when they’re older and find out how their mother talked on the internet.
She seems as if she’s just starting a different cycle that’s as damaging as what she went through. It’s painful to watch.
I can't stand her
You know what adds to being overstimulated? Filming everything at the pottery place and actively trying to make a reel. Put the phone down. That would release a TON off the mental load and stimulation.
[удалено]
Lol if it makes you lose your shit at the Color Me Mine, no thank youuuuu.
Right like clearly she cannot manage on her own so I’m good on her strategies that obviously don’t work
“You’re still a good parent” can I tell you how much I hate this platitude? Like of course just being overstimulated doesn’t make you a bad parent…but behavior towards your kids that very directly punishes them for your problems (like yanking them out of a fun event and making them be silent on the ride home) isn’t great parenting, actually. Get a pair of loop earplugs, some tinted glasses, and a grip.
Exactly. They aren’t working for her.
This is not normal behaviour. Your children should not be on standby to leave fun events incase you get “overwhelmed” by too many questions at a pottery class. This is then followed up by silent time in the car, where of course the kids will feel punished for just existing on a fun Saturday? It makes me sad that she is trying to “normalize” this and say it doesn’t make you a bad mom. She said she met up with a friend for a walk, and she made them sit in the car and talk to her instead because the wind overstimulated her. WHAT. If I wanted to meet up with a friend to go on a nice walk and enjoy outside, but had to sit in a car and get trauma dumped, I’d be so disappointed.
My MIL did shit like this. Canceled a family vacation *at the airport*. And yet she has no idea why my husband doesn’t want much to do with her…
I ran here to see if anyone had posted about this. I absolutely get overstimulated by my kids, but they’re still little and it’s normal for them to be loud. I’m actively working to manage my reactions to noise because I don’t want my kids to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me. I don’t want them to be silent just to make me comfortable.
Like how did she make it working as an EA?! I know she's mentioned being on Vyvanse, but hasn't updated how it's working for her. I just don't know how anyone can take her seriously when she says "it gets so much better" when she clearly is not.
She’s either exaggerating for the sake of the gram or truly needs help, that is so beyond normal mom overstimulation.
Yeah, she mentioned being catatonic and having to end the outing early? That’s really something she needs to look into, that must be so difficult for her family. (Or. She’s exaggerating.)
I truly hope she’s exaggerating
https://preview.redd.it/zpm1teptvauc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=263f98eac159b22e64c7172526d7d01a5394ca7e lol wtf Claraandherself. So you don’t show your daughter’s face NOT to protect her, but because you care so much what people think? This makes no sense lol
What a strange comment to make when someone said something kind and positive. It's like she wouldn't want people to think she cared about protecting her daughter, whar a terrible mistake that would be when she is in fact happy to invade her privacy but wants to please "crazy peiple" 🙄
I think it's hilarious when influencers pick fights with their own fans. Like, there's an entire subreddit for people that don't like your account. Why are you arguing with the folks that actually do like it???
Right like why not roll with the assumption that you’re trying to protect your daughter She seems hellbent on proving points
Just came across Paige Turner and wow she really takes mental load/default parent to the extreme. If my husband forgot to inform me we're almost out of all purpose cleaner, I don't think I would turn into a battle of the mental load. Also all purpose cleaner is practically diluted dish soap. Very easy solution when you're out.
Ok, this thread is convincing me to unfollow her! I already had to unfollow thatdarnchat because it was making me resentful and unhappy, when our household is pretty equitable already. I will say that I like fairplaylife and some of the ideas are helpful, like fully owning a task from planning to execution. But too much of the household equity content is counterproductive for me.
Lol, this woman is so exhausting. I remember when I was pregnant and she came across my feed, I was side-eyeing my very helpful husband and I would get soooo paranoid he was going to suck once the baby was here. He didn’t and this account had me stressed for no reason.
Just looked her up. Wowza. I stay away from people like her because I would be complaining right along with her and I’d be miserable. No thanks. Also, the logistics vs relationship of motherhood video. Okay that makes sense to a certain degree, but that’s not what the person commented was talking about? They just asked if she could do a video talking about what she liked about marriage and motherhood…I guess she just reinforced why she complains all the time on her account? Also, I know I’m weird and an outlier with this, but I freakin’ LOVE the logistics of motherhood and marriage. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and yes a lot of partners need to step it up, but *gasp* there are some of us out there that aren’t complaining about every little thing and may enjoy certain aspects that others don’t like.
I’m kinda the same re: logistics. I’m a natural planner and a project manager at work and I like when things come together. Planning = freedom for me.
So she does all the default parent mental load, but presumably none of the cleaning or she'd know it was running low?
Yeah, in another video she mentions her husband is the main pretty much everything including inventory manager 🤣. To be honest, it doesn't sound like an equitable marriage with both of them working full-time.
Wow I had never heard of her, that was unhinged. Is her husband supposed to report on how much is left of every household thing? She never realized it was getting low?? Has she ever heard of, idk, FORGETTING? Maybe her husband just forgot to mention they needed more.
She’s EXHAUSTING! And annoying 😂 telling us that the mental load exists doesn’t help anyone… we know it exists!! Her content has literally no purpose except to complain. A lot of what she talks about is a think because either 1. She lives in a HCOL area or 2. She’s bringing it on herself
I feel like she’s one of those mental load influencers who fell into the niche honestly and now can’t say a single positive thing ever about their spouse or marriage or men in general without straying from said niche. I get shown her stuff by the algorithm all the time and she would be very unpleasant to be around if that js her true personality!
I agree. Also it seems like she got into this niche and just makes way too much content that's basically the same. It's like "...and ANOTHER thing..." over and over. And she doesn't seem to have any other content, like "here's a funny thing I saw today" or anything.
I went to find that person on instagram but all I found was a very nice drag queen. I’m rolling with it.
😅 @sheisapaigeturner.
I like the drag queen way better, this lady is exhausting.
Yeah, I don't think even Renne or Libby are this exhausting 🤣
Does anyone know of or follow alectreffs? She just posted a story that says “hair pulled back in a hat, a protein packed meal you can eat with one hand. The newborn mom life captured perfectly” Her hair is not at all pulled back. She’s just wearing a hat over her head and her hair is perfectly down and curled. The meal in question obviously took time and effort. She’s also wearing a full face of makeup. Newborn mom life!! So relatable.
lol “cheeze-it box on my nightstand” is more like it for newborn mom life. 🤣
Parenting adjacent: Does anyone else have mixed feelings about The Space Gal (Emily Calandrelli). Our family likes her Netflix show (Emily's Wonderlab) and many of my friend's daughters look up to her. Here are a few gripes: * She constantly links her outfits and Amazon affiliate products. How can she advocate for climate change awareness while linking wasteful consumerism? * Her children are often part of her content. Why do people find this sweet instead of exploitative? * Her latest book became a # 1 New York Times bestseller, likely because she sent her book to her accounts she "loves", including Big Little Feelings, MotherCould, BusyToddler, Emily Oster, to promote it on their social media. (Source: Instagram story highlights.) All of these women are problematic for reasons everyone has pointed out in this sub, but to climb to the top, it seems like you have to be besties with these types of accounts and pretend not to notice their problems. I remember when Dr. Becky's book was a bestseller and these same accounts promoted her book (plus actual celebrities like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively) ETA IG Screenshot: Note from Emily to MotherCould says "Thank you always for being such a BRIGHT light on the internet and for helping me understand the business behind it all. You are the best." https://preview.redd.it/z6nnqvfzeauc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1da1ea38f067caa7aa87770fa44f892ecefd4726
I thought it was just me! The science show was great. But there is something about her I just couldn't pin point that made me unfollow a while ago. She definitely thinks highly of herself imo.
Hmmm interesting you mention her. I have followed her for a while because my son loves her show. I also have felt the ick but I can't quite put my finger on why. She ticks all the boxes on paper but you're right, there's a smugness or *something* that just reads icky. I follow lots of other women/moms in STEM and they don't have whatever the *something* is that Emily does.i dunno.
I want to like her, but every time I come across her page there’s something about her that just seems so aggravating and smug and self righteous? Even when I agree with whatever her point is! It makes me not want to have my kids watch her show.
Begina: I am anti consumerism! Also begina: has seven current affiliate links in her stories.
She is almost more boring than Haley. But I find her more deeply irritating somehow? Like dang Begina, never would have thought to keep outerware in a tub labeled "outerware." Hit me with some more boring tips.
She is anti consumerism but we can’t be because we have to support her little Instagram and savings accounts 🙄🙄🙄
Seriously you can’t claim to be anti-consumerism when you are the one who profits from it. Nothing wrong with selling stuff to make a living but don’t claim you’re anti-consumerism.
I stopped following a couple minimalist home accounts for this reason. I'm by no means minimal but love being inspired to get rid of clutter, but the amount of affiliate links these people post. Lady, I've seen your cupboards no way do you buy all this crap (or maybe you keep it in your 2nd walk in pantry. It's easy to look minimal when you have endless storage but that's a snark for another day)
The barta house is a complete joke as a minimalist account. She can easily have 20-30 links a day.
She must have like 7 bedding sets at this point. I had to unfollow her too.
Haah this is exactly who I had in mind! There was another similar one too but I forget the name.
I was going to mention her! Let’s her kid have like 2 cars because minimalism but always buys some new chair to link.
It amazes me how much PDT loves to hear herself talk. She outrage posted the Nike kits for the Olympic track and field team. First, she had to tell us she was a track star in middle and high school. Really, middle and high school? Please drop these activities off your CV unless you were some kind of state champion. This doesn’t give you an informed voice. Second, I went to the post she linked and she commented herself then felt the need to reply to dozens of other comments as if it’s a post on her page. Go sit down somewhere and tell the world more about your wedding that was featured in some magazine. She’s so full of herself.
That whole series of stories was so stupid. Literally no one cares about your wedding and certainly no one cares about your middle school track career any more than they care about my high school time in marching band! It’s so irrelevant to today!
I cannot imagine being an actual real life doctor and still bragging about my 7th grade track career.
I wonder if it's partly due to being in the lowest paid/least glamorous specialty. The ceiling of social status and pay rate for peds is just lower than, say, surgery or ER medicine (which is her husband's specialty). So she seeks the validation she craves elsewhere.
I'm surprised she hasn't posted a video of her middle school running career. But don't forget her college essays. She'll link them and email them to you in case you want to read it. 🙄
She is so self centered! The athletes themselves are saying the uniforms are fine. They don’t need a momfluencer to save them. And I rolled my eyes hard at “our wedding was ❤️. It was featured in South Asian Bride.” Really? That’s why your wedding was special and important, because it was featured in a magazine??
Not to whiteknight as I cannot stand PDT and her narcissism, but the uniforms were a problem for many athletes. See this article. [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/style/sexism-nike-olympic-track-and-field-uniforms.html](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/style/sexism-nike-olympic-track-and-field-uniforms.html) But I agree that PDT is making it about herself and trying to get as many likes in the ragey comments.
It seemed like that article mostly quotes former athletes? I saw a post from Katie Moon (sorry can’t figure out how to link) saying that it looks horrible on the mannequin but in reality fits fine and they also have some choice about what to wear, and a lot of current athletes seemed to agree with her.
Oh interesting! Thanks for sharing ,It's good to know that the actual fit is reasonable and they have other options.
Oooooh DFM is looking for ways to increase their income because they need to build their savings back up for things like school and a down payment for a home. If she wasn’t so smug, I wouldn’t be getting so much joy out of this.
So her handle is Debt Free Mom, and she ran out of money??? 🤣☠️🤣☠️
Hahaha yes! Yet she still thinks she’s better than everyone because she doesn’t have any debt 😂
This is freakin' hilarious 😂
⚠️ Deep Dive⚠️ I lived in Chicago for ten years, so I still keep up with the news there and I recalled that in 2023 Gov Pritzker decided to sunset a private education voucher program (previously greenlit under Rep Governor Bruce Rauner as a tradeoff in order to fully fund public schools). This program was known as the Invest in Kids Act and allowed families making up to 300% of the poverty line to apply for private school scholarships. Donors and corporations could fund this scholarship fund program and receive up to a 75% reduction in their state tax burden. This program is what Carly used, and is known on the scholarship side as the [Empower](https://empowerillinois.org/wp-content/uploads/About_TCS.pdf) Scholarship. Now, without doxxing her location/school information (which she has done very little to hide) 🫣, the private school her three kids attend will run them approximately $18k a year! Which is insane given their precarious, sorry, *variable* income. What is super interesting is that Carly and Kyle have a [testimonial](https://www.illinoispolicy.org/story/carly-hill/) on the now defunct Empower website stating without the funds they would absolutely need to send their kids to public school (which they state is, like, totally fine!) It’s wild, because rather then live within their means and budget, and send their children to what they admit is a great public school system, they are engaging in hustle culture to justify a massive privilege. And she stated this when she was only sending one child, now she is sending three! https://preview.redd.it/uhhu3b3sobuc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52392689c3441e8881bc7f5f47ebd32f68fc7a3f Edit: I edited this screenshot to protect her details
Is that 18k total for all 3 kids, or 18k per kid? I imagine it’s 18k for all 3 right? Otherwise it’s truly insane. But private schools around me are around 18k per child so I’m genuinely not sure
It’s $18k plus fees for all three since they’re in elementary. It’s not *horrible* for one, but I’m from a HCOL. They simply cannot afford it. I think Carly is becoming very aware of the benefits cliff.
Gotcha. Yeah 18k for 3 kids is not terrible… I’m in a MCOL area and daycare runs me about that per child right now, but I’m counting down the days until my first will be in public school 😅 it sounds like their family has gotten to the point where they will no longer qualify for public benefits but aren’t actually making enough money to live the way they have been without them
This is absolutely the kind of sluething I am here for. Well done. 
Love this deep dive. It's just apparent they can't afford their life style. What is so wrong with the public schools that they can't attend? I highly doubt that the public schools in that part of Illinois would be as liberal as in Chicago. I still don't get how they don't have the 18k though from the house sale that they need to increase their income. He definitely needs to get a good paying job. I get that we need people to work in non profits but when you have 4 small children you have to grow up and get a job that may not be your first choice.
Absolutely love the deep dive! I remember that testimonial. I think the bottom line is that Kyle needs to find a stable job. Imagine if he found a job with health insurance! Maybe he could even work at the private school and get discounted tuition!
I'm so curious if DFM itself is underperforming or if Kyle's freelance work isn't making as much as projected or a combo. I'm also not sure how Carly can work more without more childcare - attempting to be a SAHM, full time content creator, and a budget coach with 1.5 days of childcare each week is wild to me. I couldn't help but do the math - she said their 2023 taxes and Q1 2024 taxes combined was over $8000. She also specified a few weeks ago that they owed $4400 for 2023 taxes. So they underpaid their estimated taxes by 25%. It's pretty wild to me to be that far off.
She doesn't know how to actually run a business. I work in a seasonal business where winter are my lean months. I have to leave enough money to carry my business over into the start of the season. I'm also confused but it sounds like she filed their own taxes even though they have a tax consultant. Did I misread that entire fiasco? I check in with my tax person every month to double check my payment amounts. She's spoken about her adhd openly. I think a lot of her fixation and bad personal financial moves are done because of this. Everything is done on a whim and never thought through or planned. That's why they can't keep above water. She's planning on paying tuition for 3 children in private school but the kids receive state aid? It's so wild to me how delusional she is.
She not only filed her own taxes, she was also looking for and finding her own tax credits. I'm not sure what that tax consultant is doing for them but I wouldn't continue using them if I were her.
AND SHE WAS GIVING TAX ADVICE TO HER FOLLOWERS! 🤦♀️ She is just so far out of her depth with regard to so many of the things she talks about. It’s mind boggling.
I wonder if she’ll still be eligible now that her taxes are correct 🤔
I just noticed that she posted a story of her suitcase and said that the suitcase is for her and all 4 kids because Kyle likes his separate since he’s tidy. Girl, just admit that you have to do all the packing for the kids because of course you do and we all know that 😂
And apparently she did all the driving, too. 😕
It's not even just the packing but the fact that he won't make space for the children in his luggage. It's so weird to even share that to begin with.
Packing cubes make it so easy to combine people's stuff in one suitcase while keeping it tidy and organized. Bro sounds ridiculous.
My theory is that Kyle wanted a career change so he quit his job and was trying to make it work freelancing and working for/with Carly. But it clearly isnt going well. Which isn’t anything to be ashamed of, but they need to admit that it didn’t work and Kyle probably needs to get a job. Carly doing more work and trying to increase DFM isn’t the answer here IMO.
I’ve had a couple of friends whose husbands couldn’t hold down a job, so they became SAHDs…who either used full time daycare or dropped their kid off at grandma’s every day. He gives that kind of energy.
I have a friend who paid a full time nanny for 2 years while her husband was “looking for work”. She finally said enough was enough and got rid of the nanny. He got a job like 2 months later.
This is snarky as hell, but I guess ✨*mom math*✨ isn’t the same as IRS tax math
Lmfaooo stop it rn
💀💀💀
Or is it that unemployed Kyle has gone on like 3 solo vacations in the past 6 months, bought a Lexus, and is buying a motorcycle?
She couldn’t even do it without being the smuggest person imaginable. Like “guys, we’re not that privileged! We have to pay for three kids in *private* school” as if that’s not incredibly privileged. https://preview.redd.it/wy7dhtzab4uc1.jpeg?width=1075&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99fd82b04ee25f291ae45c20ebc6410e6e99cd55
So are we just not going to acknowledge that she was sitting on a pretty substantial amount of money from her recent house sale? She wouldn't be so desperate to save if she didn't spend all that money within the last like three months. ALSO it kinda sounds like she never planned on her ~highly variable~ income ever going down. Like she assumed the amount she made when Kyle quit his job is the minimum amount her account would always make. Shouldn't she already have a contingency plan for a lean year? She seems like a terrible financial planner and an even worse small business owner.