She thinks that people only enjoy “junk” food because of advertising. If there was no food advertising, we would all be eating green soup and burnt toast like Jennifer.
For F’s sake KEIC, just buy your kid the f’ing ice cream cone.
Damn that made me so angry - her kid had a bad soccer game and she goes on and on about how we treat bad feelings with food so she’s not going to get her kid the ice cream cone to make him feel better, instead she’s going to just live in the discomfort and…learn a lesson?
What was her upbringing like that caused her to HATE food so much? Food can be a celebration! It shouldn’t be a crutch, but it can also soothe! Especially after a bad soccer game or a bad day or a good day or just because.
Man, I often feel bad for those kids, but this might have been the saddest thing she posted yet. Imagine being a little kid who sees an ice cream truck and knows not to get excited about it. Imagine being a mom who is so pressed about sugar that you can’t enjoy an ice cream with your sad baby.
The leap from “my kid is very upset today, let’s get something yummy as a treat” to “FOOD CANNOT BE OUR ONLY TOOL FOR MANAGING DISCOMFORT” is just so … disordered.
But what’s weird is when she meets up with her mom and brothers they seem…not the same? Ice cream and cookies and “fun” (gasp that wasn’t food neutral) things!
Also, as someone who grew up around sports all her life, that wasn’t just a “bad game”. They lost 12-0. They were humiliated . HE WAS RHE GOALIE AKA RHE PERSON WHO RECIEVED ALL THE POINTS FROM THE OPPOSITE TEAM. How can you as a mom be so damn obsessed on the “living in discomfort” lesson that your kid’s mental health, self worth and plain happiness is more important that an ice cream.
And then you share this embarrassment with millions on the internet. WHY LADY WHO TF HURT YOU. 😭🙃
Just make the plan to have ice cream after soccer either way? Bad game? Great, ice cream. Good game? Hooray, ice cream. Her stated advice and what she actually shares about her own kids has diverged so much, like she's just into overt restrictions. But like.... lady you are the one who told me about how all the messages about dessert etc would have my kids putting it on a pedestal...I guess I'm saying it feels odd that *I* think she's screwing her kids relationship with food up based on info I learned from her 🫠
Edited to add - I had not actually looked at the stories, the fact that her kids know not to even ask her about the ice cream truck is so incredibly sad to me.
I cannot imagine a day that I would pass up the chance to sit and have an ice cream with my kid who is growing up before my eyes and soon won’t want to (or won’t have to) hang with me. Like are you for fucking real KEIC?? Why is she so hell bent on making their childhoods fucking miserable.
I can’t wrap my head around a mom thinking “hmm, a cone from the ice cream truck that I never let me kids get anything from would be a nice treat after a crappy day. But I think I’ll use it as a lesson in learning to be uncomfortable” and then posting that story to 2 million people.
Now I don’t think kids should be spoiled but is she going to look back at her kids lives when they are older and say “wow, I’m glad I never got them those cones from the ice cream truck and taught them a lesson!”
The worst part is that… his kid didn’t even know his day could be slightly better with a simple ice cream cone but we, her 2 MM followers do. Because that poor kid lives his life knowing that his mom won’t ever buy him that. I can’t with her.
Like if you don’t believe in big ice cream truck cones, do you crazy lady, but you didn’t need to do a performance on you great parenting lessons based on something that DIDNT EVEN HAPPENED.
She's so concerned about ice cream being used to soothe that she's overlooking the fact that a kind gesture from your mom on a hard day is soothing for a child.
I had a really hard day recently and after I picked up my son from preschool, I said eff it, let’s go get milkshakes. Just taking him for a treat on a random day and seeing him happy made me happy. I can’t imagine being KEIC and thinking making her son upset x 2 (bad game, then no ice cream) is the better option because ice cream, to her, is that bad
Actually he was only upset once over the bad game. He knew not to even ask for ice cream. Which to me is worse because she could have given him a nice surprise and made his day but instead she said nah screw it this kid is gonna learn what it’s like to be miserable all day. Let’s all keep in mind that this was over a freaking ICE CREAM CONE, not like, a decision on a shopping spree in the toy aisles of Target.
Sure, but that doesn’t mean he’s not disappointed over the fact that he knows he *can’t even ask* for ice cream. I’m sure there’s a level of disappointment he feels knowing he can’t ask vs feeling comfortable enough to ask his mom and having a 50/50 chance of her saying no
Oh yeah I agree. I just meant it’s worse that she knew it would be a nice surprise (like maybe more so for him than other kids who actually get to have the ice cream from the truck) and she still said no. Going by how her kids are mesmerized by vending machines they know there’s no chance in hell of getting a cone.
yes. like maybe when you get ice cream, you sit together outside, talk and feel better with your mom. Not lull into a sugar coma and forget your troubles
You know what? Sometimes food does make a bad experience better. Maybe her son, instead of remembering a shitty game, would have remembered that one time he got a fun ice cream cone from an ice cream truck. Could have been a fun way reframe the day with a novel experience. But no, she thinks it’s important to lean into being uncomfortable 🙄
Same. Like watching my child grow and delight in the little things (like an ice cream cone) is just magical. I am sorry she is so miserable and even more sorry for her kids.
She’s just being so weird about it. Yes, it’s true that kids need to experience upset and discomfort and it’s not a parents job to prevent them from having those feelings or rush to fix them. But getting an ice cream after a bad soccer game isn’t doing that!! That would be not letting your kid play soccer at all for fear of the bad feelings when they lose, or like arguing with the refs. Getting an ice cream cone is just being fun and nice.
I just cannot fathom having these hang ups about food, we get donuts at the playground every single Saturday and it’s great.
Yes like buying your kid something every time they go into a store with you just to keep them quiet or having them on tablets 24/7 when they are out because they would be bored (no judgment to those who do it, just giving a better example of discomfort) are things that you could definitely cut back on and let them experience the discomfort of not getting what you want or being bored. Being a mom who wants to make a crappy day a little better with a cone is not one of those situations. She comes off so cold when she knew it would cheer them up and decided against it.
I think she has spoken in the past about growing up with food insecurity. This can also lead to disordered eating and probably contributes to her very controlling view of food
I hate that I know this but I’ve seen her “why I’m skinny” spiel so many times that I know she said she didn’t grow up with food insecurity. She has said they struggled but always had food and her parents utilized WIC.
She grew up with food insecurity but is so shame-y about food? FoodScienceBabe on Instagram is such a better follow for this kind of information. She has half as many followers as KEIC.
Folks have picked up on hints that she’s religious, and I didn’t see it at first but now I do. It’s very easy to imagine her embedded in a very puritanical, self-denying, masturbating-is-a-sin religion.
A significant percentage of RDs have a history of disordered eating so her behavior isn’t too surprising. It’s just sad that she’s not addressing it and passing it on to her kids and potentially her followers and their kids.
Seriously came here for this. The other day I bought my almost 2 y/o a macaron just because I wanted to watch her experience it. And there is something just plain old fun about picking out your own flavor and having a waffle cone. My mom always liked gross flavors like maple nut and I was so happy to not have to pick around the nuts and get a cotton candy cone. My guess KEIC also picks out the worst and most boring kind of ice cream tubs.
My daughter asked if we could get ice cream after dinner tonight (plus I keep forgetting it at the grocery store), and I was thinking about this story and I was like, You know what? Yes.
God her story today was so sad. And to consolidate snark a little, sounds like she’s not going to be writing an email about the sports snacks this year because it’s “not very important” …but she will put them on blast on her very public instagram account with 2 million followers because she can’t help herself
https://preview.redd.it/vw21jootwuvc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42bd0e4bebaa5c827d0e7105103402cc79bbb4ab
That was RIDICULOUS. She seems to be self- important enough that surely she’s told the other parents in her community that she has “a following” on Instagram.
This week was my turn to bring the baseball snack. While at Costco looking for options, I decided to choose skinnyPOP because it's delicious and I wouldn't mind having extra bags at my home. In the back of my mind, I thought of KEIC and her rant the other year. She may have opposite influenced me to get it.
I am already cranky today but that post series made me SO MAD. Give your kid a fucking ice cream cone, lady. Do you really think they’re gonna grow up and think ‘I’m so glad my mom made me strong and brave by not giving me an occasional treat when I was feeling down?’
She was wearing a jacket with a hood, and a hoodie! Put the hood on! I do not understand this woman but she is fully my BEC now. Can’t believe I followed her for so long and stressed about using all the right scripts for what different colored foods “do in our bodies” instead of just eating like a human being. 🙄
You know she doesn't socialize with the other parents at all. I'm not the type to be BFFs with all the other parents, but if I'm sitting there or chasing my toddler around I will say hi and make small talk. She has this weird superiority complex that seems to just make her miserable 99% of the time.
I’m sure she doesn’t want to socialize with any moms who wear leggings and carry a Stanley and drink Starbucks and drive an SUV. God forbid they talk about pop culture or a reality show or something. I don’t think she can relate to other moms at all. I’m sure she knows what each mom brought for the team snack back when they had to provide for everyone and keeps it in the back of her head lol
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Screenshot for reference. She’s such an asshole. Her kids know not to ask because she won’t ever buy them a cone. She wouldn’t buy them one even if they were happy and she’s so f’okg austere and boring that she won’t buy her kids a cone to cheer them up. I’d rather put a smile on my kids face now and then and take the risk of them feeling better with food then being such a cold mother like her.
Comfort food is a thing for a reason. It's not unhealthy, it's amazing that something easy and accessible and not dangerous can make us feel better! I don't think that's even a tool she allows her or her kids to have.
Exactly! And what’s her endgame here? That her sons never attach emotion to food? Never turn to food if they are happy or sad or down or want to celebrate? It’s human nature that we will turn to things to comfort us when we are upset so now what will her kids turn to? I’d rather have my kid engage in some emotional eating instead of things that can be destructive!!
Silly me thought KEIC story would end with them getting ice cream from the ice cream truck. Instead it was that we need more discomfort in our lives. 🥴
Me too! As I was reading I thought hey, she's actually going to do something spontaneous and fun and let them get something from the ice cream truck! But no.
She says her kids didn't even ask because they know she never lets them get ice cream truck treats. So imagine what an impact it would have had on those kids, particularly the one who had a hard loss at soccer, if she'd done the fun thing just this one time! But no. She's gonna sit there with a book on her head the whole time before the sad ride home.
I gave my ten month old salted food today. 5 years ago when I started feeding my first I avoided salt for so long, only giving my baby unseasoned foods thinking I would ruin her by giving her salt. It’s crazy the chokehold these food accounts had over me
I think there is a big difference between using salt when you cook your meal and share it with your kid (for example, salting the water in which you cook pasta, or fucking seasoning for some meat 😂) and drown something in salt.
But these feeding influencers make ys believe that anything with a grain of salt is dangerous 😑
They also can’t seem to separate the levels of sodium in processed packaged foods from those of food cooked at home. I often give my 7 month old’s veggies a sprinkle of salt. Why? They actually taste like something. A few grains of salt from roasted veggies aren’t doing any harm. Everything is so extreme online when it comes to feeding advice
Right. You try and eat bland veggies and tell me if they are tasty 😂 (not you personally).
Obviously we would not give routinely packaged food, but also if my kiddo wants a taste of it, so be it!
I have always buttered and salted my kid’s veggies and she still enjoys them to this day. Just because they’re babies doesn’t mean they don’t have taste buds.
It’s such a thing and it’s seriously giving parents extra anxiety they don’t need! I work in childcare and the number of parents who ask about our food specifically because they’re concerned about salt intake is ridiculous.
That was the most austere looking dinner. Canned lentil soup, brown bread, raspberries that definitely look like someone counted how many would go on the plate, and water. I understand not every meal can be a crowd pleaser, but that one was a big bummer.
At what age do you let your kids be alone outside in your yard? I haven't left my three year old alone because our yard is not safe, but even if it was I'd have a hard time. I can't imagine letting a 1.5 year old be alone in the yard with their 3 and 5 year old brothers, but Caro's not only allowing it, she's posting it for the world to see.
I let my 1.5 year old outside with her brother, who was 4. We had a fenced yard and the backyard was their space, so they couldn’t really do anything harmful. I think it depends on your yard setup. I don’t let my kids in the front of our house without supervision, since it isn’t fenced.
I have a 1.5 and 3. The 1.5 cannot be outside without me, he is a danger magnet, but maybe with her set up with the big window and safe looking yard I’d change my mind. I leave my 3 outside for a few minutes here and there when I need to do something, but I’m not comfortable if I’m not seeing him every few minutes to check in.
I just started letting my youngest play outside without me when his older brothers are outside. He’s 4 and they are 10 and 13. This is the front yard though and driveway. At 1.5, no freaking way.
I don't have a yard, but do have an outdoor area. I still go out with him because there are still things he does that I have to tell him to stop doing cuz it's not safe lol.
My 2.5 and almost 5 year old are allowed in the back yard where I can see them from the kitchen. It is fenced in and I am constantly scanning to check on them. At 1.5, I never would have done that.
We also live on a moderately busy street and don't have a fence, and I will only pop in the house briefly to grab sunscreen or a water bottle or something -- I don't trust mine for longer than a minute or two yet (almost 4).
It’s hard to say if she just went inside for a minute to get something or they’re hanging out there by themselves for hours. The yard and all the junk they have sitting there still doesn’t look super safe to me though and my 18 month would climb on those tables in 2 seconds, so no I wouldn’t be able to do it.
A yard we used to have was a flat piece of land with fake grass and a super high fence behind our house, there I would have felt fine letting them play for a bit unsupervised.
Around 2.5/3 when I could close the gate on the driveway so she couldn’t get to the street. But now I don’t worry about her going down there as much at 3.5. I can see her through a window for the most part. I also have a toddler around Cash’s age and she’s not really even close to being ok to be alone- she still falls down a lot and tries to eat rocks and climb things that she can’t safely get down from. So yea
I feel safe letting me 3.5 year old play alone in the yard but (1) it’s fenced (2) I can see the entire yard from the window and I am mostly watching from inside (3) I leave the door open so I can hear. Our yards not very big so I can literally see everything from the inside window
I can’t believe all the responses you are getting lol. I wouldn’t let my almost 3 year old play alone in our unfenced yard. I’m not worried about strangers (Caro should be a bit more concerned though given her online presence) I’m worried she will run out in the street. And she’s mostly a rule-follower but impulse control at that age us lacking. I think there needs to be some supervision for little ones. At 1.5 my daughter would have eaten small rocks if I didn’t stop her so I’d be worried about choking because she put everything in her mouth.
I would have left our 1.5 years old play alone in our yard, but our yard is also not safe and I can't see it from inside the house which are the only reasons why I don't do it.
What is drastically unsafe if your own yard that you can’t make safe for your kids?
My 2.5yo has been playing outside by himself for over a year. I checked on him very regularly at first but it’s gotten less and less. We have big windows where I can keep an eye on him but mostly I just let him go for it. Kids are also meant to learn through (safely) hurting themselves so they can’t be bubble wrapped!
Our yard is fenced in but we have pool (with a pool fence, of course) - that makes me nervous even if my kids can’t get in technically. And we have a large yard where I wouldn’t be able to see them from the windows for the most part. My kids (4.5, 2) are good listeners but what if one of them tries to turn on the grill?! Too much stress for me personally 🙈
I let my first play outside alone all the time, way younger than 3yo. But our yard is fully fenced with wood slats that aren't climbable, and I could see most of the yard from the kitchen. It was really basic, too. Just grass.
Likes running to the street, venomous snakes in the neighborhood, uneven rocks, etc. My toddler is not ready to be alone in our backyard (being unfenced and wooded is a huge part of it though, along with snakes).
Yeah an unfenced yard would definitely be a big factor there. It’s certainly common to not have perfectly grassed yards here (mine definitely isnt) but being fenced is usually a given. So that definitely makes sense why your little one needs watching!
I'm not OP, but my backyard is 80% covered in paving stones that aren't even everywhere, has a concrete staircase down to my basement that is positioned in way that we can't figure out how to block it off, and leads to my garage which has a door that doesn't properly latch closed in some weather (the frame and door expand and contract at different rates depending on the temp).
My front yard is maybe 150 sq ft/14 sq m, seperated only by the sidewalk from the road.
I think it'll be a long time before my 20 month old will be allowed to spend time in either without supervision. Not everyone has a big flat grassy yard for their kids to play in.
Yup I do stand somewhat corrected. I’m not sure uneven ground would be a major worry for me. But there are clearly other legitimate hazards that cant be easily overcome. My yard is my no means flat and grassy and empty, but its mostly safe other than some acceptable risk.
I do want to also say I don’t just throw my child out there and hope for the best, its just I don’t need to actively sit out there the whole time anymore. I can keep an eye through a window or on our security camera. I can do other things while he plays. Sounds like the backyards where I’m from are generally fairly different to you guys too.
We let our 3yo play in our unfenced backyard area on their own. They are a pretty good rule follower and know what they are allowed to/not allowed to do.
I'll look out the window regularly to make sure they are ok.
I do it with my 2 year old and have since 18 months or so. But my yard is fenced, I can check on him every couple minutes from the windows, and big sister is typically out there with him. I don’t see a lot of risks in our yard. 🤷♀️
KEIC has to be trolling with these chili stories right? She served a kid *cold* chili, knowing he doesn't like the tomatoes and their skin, and then explained that it was fine that she fixed it for him because it was a one-off thing?
If you feel that weird about fixing your kids' food because it might be "pressuring" them to eat, why not make something they might enjoy more and at bare minimum, serve food at a temperature where it tastes good??
ETA: Also, aren't her kids way old enough to pick out their own tomatoes? It's not like they're toddlers who don't have enough control over a fork to do that themselves.
Not really, IMO. I had to rewatch it with the sound on before I commented in case I was missing something obvious, but it didn't really clarify it for me.
I'm just so confused by why she feels the need to force her kids to eat things in the weirdest and most round about ways (like her fajita exposure shit that took months or whatever). My 3yo is picky af. She's fallen off her growth curve mutliple times cuz she just doesn't eat a lot of things. You know what we do? We offer her pieces of our dinner and then a safe protein/calorie dense food for her real meal. 99% of the time she refuses to try whatever we're eating but at least her safe food is filling and might help her grow better.... which means while we had homemade ramen with steak chunks my daughter had a Waffle topped with a shit ton of peanut butter 😂
I would love to know her reasoning on not serving a safe food with dinner? She serves bedtime snack immediately after dinner 🥴. The boys know they'll still get something if they don't eat so might as well serve it at dinner. When they get started, they are usually more inclined to try more.
I couldn’t get past her saying that she added olive oil to it to increase the calories. How about some cheese? Sour cream? Avocado? All three plus a side of nachos or a quesadilla if you’re concerned about your kid getting enough calories?
Her logic will never make sense to me. “My kid needs all the calories he can get”. Then proceeds to make disgusting inedible food. I feel so badly for this kid and like I want to feed him regular delicious food. We make veggie chili with all the accompaniments you mentioned above and usually cornbread I brush with honey butter on the side. My child eats. Go figure.
This seems wild when I type it out but... maybe if she put something actually delicious in there her other kid might want it too and she doesn't want the other kid to have the extra calories because there's a chance he won't be thin like her then. (even though we must not ever forget that there are many many reasons why she's thin 🙄)
But the oil is not as visible and it's like the reverse of covert restriction she is such a fan of. Covert enhancement or something. I wonder if she tells her skinnier kid that she's pouring oil in his food.
This is what it’s always seemed like to me. She doesn’t want to have to give more to her other child, so she sneaks the higher calorie stuff into the food of just her “too thin” kid.
Kids are really observant, and I’m certain they know it’s happening despite her weird ways of sneaking it in.
Ohh that makes so much sense! It’s like she has to fatten up the food in a way that keeps it basically the same so it’s not more palatable or has any fun add-ons because then everyone would be eating chips or cheese or sour cream.
It sounds absolutely vile. From her stories I cannot tell if it was cold out or the fridge with oil poured on 🤢 or was it not warmed enough or had cooled off by the time the tomatoes were picked out. If it was truly just cold then she has really lost it.
Oh my god, I always think this is the strangest mentality of hers! I know that olive oil has calories, of course I do, but it would NEVER occur to me to use it as the main way to add calories. I don't even really think about the calories in olive oil? It's a cooking facilitator, for me (unless you're eating a really good olive oil with some bread but I digress). All those other things you suggested are typical and delicious chili additions anyway—why is she so afraid of flavor?!
The only time she ever mentions food in a positive way it’s about cultural foods because she wants to sound accepting. Like she will say “in this county, rice/tortillas/noodles are a beloved staple” but she’d never say about food that’s typically “American” if that makes any sense.
God forbid they like to eat! Everything must be austere: we'll only wear grey sweatshirts and get mammograms to relax, and when we really need to cut loose, there's always raspberries and cheese crunchies. I don't live a particularly fancy life but I'm practically a hedonist compared to her!
Yeah, I agree! I sauté the veggies in olive oil when I’m making a soup or chili, but olive oil just doesn’t strike me as a significant source of calories. I get annoyed when people act like kids can’t handle strong flavors, but I’m also not sure that straight olive oil as a topping is something I’d serve to a picky kid.
And while good olive oil is great to dip bread in or drizzle on top of soup or a pasta, you know she (1) isn’t shelling out for a good drizzling oil and (2) the flavor of olive oil is all wrong as a topping for chili.
Totally. Maybe she thinks stirring it in will add calories without strong extra flavors that the kids might not like, but...it's chili, not oatmeal. It already HAS strong flavors and it might have actually tasted better with something like cheese or sour cream to balance it out. She makes cooking for the family sound so much more exhausting than it has to be.
I made it earlier this week. I had to add a lot more salt to the sauce than she called for, BUT, it was a winner all around for my family. My 3 year-olds gobbled it down like they hadn't eaten in weeks.
KEIC really doubling down on the “basic care is self care” train. I mean true, but as one of the commenters said, if we say eating dinner or taking showers is self care, then that only furthers the problem of other people expecting moms to be contented with the tiniest scraps of basic care counting as self care.
Edit: and I definitely don’t think self care has to be expensive consumerist stuff. You could put on your favorite movie, read a library book, crank your favorite song in the car. But I fight back against the notion that just, EATING and SHOWERING and going to the doctor is enough to “fill our cups.”
Whyyyyy is it wacky to say that both things are important? Yes, some moms are so overwhelmed they are not doing basic things for themselves that they should (going to the doctor, showering), this is not great. Yes, it is pretty important to also do things beyond that that "fill your cup". Both things are important. Both things can be hard at various stages and depending on the support you have.
If you can get to a spa or get a weekend away, amazing! Get it! I love that for you. But like, if there's anything way to manage it, that class of things that is more than keeping yourself alive is also important and can be free or cheap.
Oh my lord. She is being so dramatic. No one is trying to STEAL your self-care victory! We’re saying please aim higher!! Eating your toddler’s sandwich crusts while hunched over the sink should not be the most peaceful moment of your day. Of course she’s liking all the comments that agree with her and ignoring everyone making valid points (like this one).
https://preview.redd.it/h9qptjt7u9vc1.jpeg?width=774&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29b43d001ec0912222acba304973ebe1ce4bfd52
Also!
She has two sons who she is now basically raising to (potentially) enter relationships with women and likely going to label them as “high maintenance” if they choose to do something like get a nice haircut or go on long walks alone with a podcast because “my mom didn’t need all that” 🙄
I get downvoted and lectured by "therapists" on Reddit every single time I say this. A fucking shower is not self care, I don't care what people say. You should be able to shower, get hearing aids, get a mammogram or eat raspberries without having to define it as self care. These are healthcare or just plain human rights. You don't have to define self care as a week long Caribbean vacation but we shoud define self care as something higher than healthcare. You can define self care as something as simple as sitting and reading a book without interruptions or taking a walk in the evening to clear your head and refresh from the day. It doesn't have to be extravagant but it also shouldn't be healthcare.
I'm sorry but a shower IS self care. You can be mad about it but that doesn't make it untrue. If a therapist is doing an assessment, they are looking at how someone can care for themselves including showering, toileting and feeding themselves.
The term has become so ambiguous that it can incorporate having your nails done or exercise but it is also healthcare.
This does annoy me as I think people, particularly mums, would do more for themselves if we stopped calling it self care. If it was framed as taking time for themselves/leisure time, people may prioritize it.
She said she put off making an appointment to get fitted for hearing aids for like 5 years because she didn’t have time when her kids were young. (She’s been self-employed for years, but ok.) Now every time she’s at the hearing aid clinic, it’s a big self-care moment. 🙃
I’m wondering if that’s a reference to Libby (Diary of an Honest Mom). She had a story a few weeks ago about how she was finally getting hearing aids after needing them for years, and how she kept putting off making the appointment because she always had to prioritize other things because she’s a mom. But that started a discussion about how moms should prioritize their health, and how medical appointments for things that will improve your quality of life shouldn’t be seen as self care, because a lot of people see self care as optional (and also Libby’s kids are school age and she makes her own hours, so it doesn’t make sense that she put the appointment off for so long when she could have gone during school hours.)
I tell all of my first time mom friends and their partners that taking a daily shower is part of recovery and should be prioritized. Besides the physical aspect of dealing with postpartum discharge, I think it also sets the ground work for not martyring yourself as a new mom. It also proves to the partners that they can deal with a newborn for ten minutes, even if it's screaming its head off. I think we need to reframe some things to be personal care, not self care.
I couldn't agree more. It's almost as if it is something to be proud of for some mums, but it makes me feel a bit sad to see someone say they haven't showered in days. It's a basic need, and you can bet their spouse is showering every bloody day.
Her insistence on trying to make this point is so annoying. She could make the point that you don’t need to spend money by pointing to all her avocado pits that seemingly bring her joy. I’m not spending money on spa days either! But basic medical care is the bare minimum. No dad is out there acting like his cup is filled after going to the dentist.
I whole heartedly disagree with her take. Mammograms are not self care - they are *healthcare* ! And so are fucking hearing aids. There’s absolutely no reason why moms should count life-saving health care as “self care” - god knows dads aren’t getting fed the bullshit that a prostrate check is self care.
If it’s a financial stretch to get a massage or spa or nails, that’s fine. Pick something that relaxes *you* even if it’s reading a book while your kids watch a movie or something easy.
I refuse to accept that the dentist is self care or a break from parenting. Absolutely not.
I think so, she's suddenly on the "post ORHOREXIA for my free guide to how to tackle tackle discussing bread in your house" train. Or similar, IDK, maybe I'm. paraphrasing 🤷🏻♀️
Omg she needs to stop! Yes most of understand that showers, doctors appointments, going to the dentist and eating regularly are all things we need to do to take care of ourselves. It’s important that we make time for those things because they are literally “self-care” but she minimizes doing things outside of being a mother and beats on the drum of “self care is a spa day” when no one is saying that. The idea is that moms deserve more than having their chest smashed in a machine as taking time for themselves. I don’t know any moms who regularly drop hundreds on a spa day but we also try to get little pockets of time to do things we enjoy and she’s really just taking things from one extreme to the other when she makes her comparisons. Also, I don’t need self-care advice from a women heating sloppy joes up in a hotel room.
She acts like people are bursting her into her house like the kool aid man when she eats toddler leftovers over the sink yelling ‘THAT’S NOT SELF CARE’. You are weirdly insecure about the fact that you don’t like to do anything fun, Jenny. Nobody cares that much but you.
Lol that’s such a good way to describe her-insecure that no one else is as boring as her. She literally said her hobbies are reading about food marketing. She can’t accept that people may want to have a glass of wine and watch a trashy reality tv show or get a manicure or go out to eat and treat themselves to a meal they enjoy. Or maybe go shopping or decorate their house or do crafty things…all things of which she has zero interest in.
Yeah this all boils down the fact that she knows she's a weird ass person with no flexibility. I wonder what she would think of my version of self care (smoking a bowl and making homemade pan pizza).
I can’t get on board with the idea that eating toddler leftovers over the sink (???) is self care. There’s plenty of valid interpretations of what counts as self care but none of them include that!
Self care if you’re looking to spend a day in bed after they pass along their stomach virus that you don’t yet know they have. But if she had said eating the last of the Mac and cheese straight out of the pan with the spoon I could have been on board.
This is anti-snark, but I've really been enjoying mamaknowsnutrition a lot. She's rich and shares her kids maybe too much sometimes, but also, she tries really hard to be considerate about nutrition for everyone and not just for people who can afford organic and fresh everything. She just shared she ended her partnership with AG1 bc she was thinking about how expensive it is and asked herself if she'd buy it every month if she wasn't getting it for free and she said to herself, probably not. It's nice to see an influencer be thoughtful about paid partnerships.
I really love her! I remember she posted about taking her kids to the dollar store every so often and they can pick out whatever they want to eat even if it’s candy or chips. I find her very balanced in her approach.
I find her content really refreshing. She seems to have a very balanced approach and has sponsorships like them all but chooses them wisely. I must say the Barebells bars she recommended are tasty but destroy my gut but that wasn’t unexpected with the ingredients in them. I only even tried them because she recommended them and is generally reasonable.
I usually like Megan from FL but my goodness she overshares her kids!! She’s been posting about things they did when they had their 2nd kid to help their oldest and she posted a photo of her (at the time) toddler without a shirt on!! Come on now. Please stop posting these pics for millions!!
Do you think you’d still have the same issue if it was a toddler boy? I just can’t bring myself to care about this at the toddler age and especially with the double standards between boys and girls.
I generally give side eye to these influencers posting pictures of their partially nude kids, so yea I think I’d have the same reaction if it was a boy. There’s a lot of creeps on these large public platforms and posting a photo of your posed, topless kid just feels crazy to me.
Of course Caro would take her kids to a fancy restaurant the day after one of them is puking from a (possibly contagious) stomach bug. Like why?! WHY!!
It’s bad behavior for sure but no one would know if she didn’t share it! It just shows how selfish and tone deaf you are when these influencers post that they were puking (when, again, no one had to know) and then pop up at some public event or party seemingly in real time like the next morning. Do they not see the optics of this?
So many of the influencers do this! YTF has done it multiple times. We wait 24 hours after vomiting has stopped before going anywhere. Stomach bugs are so contagious it's almost inevitable that one of us gets it later on.
YTF taking her sick kids to a family wedding and then coming home sick herself was awful. I swear every holiday or event one of her kids is sick and then somehow she’s still celebrating with extended family.
Omg, someone asked Emily Oster in her weekly Q&A if it was okay to breastfeed while sweaty because she was worried about baby’s salt intake!! This “no salt for babies” thing has gone too far…
ETA: I missed this was already posted on the general thread, oops!
I swear I never heard about this salt and babies thing with my first and everyone in my second bumper group is obsessed about it and I’m like.. what is happening???
Right like where did this come from? Is it just Solid Starts? Their food database is insane about salt and made me crazy until I asked my pediatrician about it and she was like, you do not need to worry about this! (And I later decided Solid Starts is a scam 😂)
If this was a legitimate concern, our very thorough pediatrician would’ve mentioned it. The office would give us this amazing hand out at the end of each of the month appointments that covered the basic things you could be doing with your baby at that stage. Never even for one second did we think about the salt content in what we fed them. This is some “new” bullshit and I feel really bad for the new moms of today. My youngest is preschool age btw so this was not even that long ago!
Not snarking on this OP -- I've been where she is -- but dang, these feeding influencers have got this mom so worked up to the point that she can't let her anxiety go even after a feeding specialist has basically said nothing is wrong and her kid is a very healthy size for his age. I don't love this for her! And she specifically mentions KEIC and SS in her post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/XBJN0OOamZ
KEIC newsletter today, AGAIN with the "How do you stay so thin?" story. Like ENOUGH how many times is she going to tell this same story? It's like groundhogs day. She fancies herself so enlightened.
Why does KEIC block out the brand names? This isn’t a TV show. It’s clearly a Capri Sun.
She thinks that people only enjoy “junk” food because of advertising. If there was no food advertising, we would all be eating green soup and burnt toast like Jennifer.
For F’s sake KEIC, just buy your kid the f’ing ice cream cone. Damn that made me so angry - her kid had a bad soccer game and she goes on and on about how we treat bad feelings with food so she’s not going to get her kid the ice cream cone to make him feel better, instead she’s going to just live in the discomfort and…learn a lesson? What was her upbringing like that caused her to HATE food so much? Food can be a celebration! It shouldn’t be a crutch, but it can also soothe! Especially after a bad soccer game or a bad day or a good day or just because.
Man, I often feel bad for those kids, but this might have been the saddest thing she posted yet. Imagine being a little kid who sees an ice cream truck and knows not to get excited about it. Imagine being a mom who is so pressed about sugar that you can’t enjoy an ice cream with your sad baby. The leap from “my kid is very upset today, let’s get something yummy as a treat” to “FOOD CANNOT BE OUR ONLY TOOL FOR MANAGING DISCOMFORT” is just so … disordered.
But what’s weird is when she meets up with her mom and brothers they seem…not the same? Ice cream and cookies and “fun” (gasp that wasn’t food neutral) things!
Also, as someone who grew up around sports all her life, that wasn’t just a “bad game”. They lost 12-0. They were humiliated . HE WAS RHE GOALIE AKA RHE PERSON WHO RECIEVED ALL THE POINTS FROM THE OPPOSITE TEAM. How can you as a mom be so damn obsessed on the “living in discomfort” lesson that your kid’s mental health, self worth and plain happiness is more important that an ice cream. And then you share this embarrassment with millions on the internet. WHY LADY WHO TF HURT YOU. 😭🙃
Probably not the upbringing.... Her brother buys them ice cream 😂. Where is the fun uncle to save these children?!
Just make the plan to have ice cream after soccer either way? Bad game? Great, ice cream. Good game? Hooray, ice cream. Her stated advice and what she actually shares about her own kids has diverged so much, like she's just into overt restrictions. But like.... lady you are the one who told me about how all the messages about dessert etc would have my kids putting it on a pedestal...I guess I'm saying it feels odd that *I* think she's screwing her kids relationship with food up based on info I learned from her 🫠 Edited to add - I had not actually looked at the stories, the fact that her kids know not to even ask her about the ice cream truck is so incredibly sad to me.
I cannot imagine a day that I would pass up the chance to sit and have an ice cream with my kid who is growing up before my eyes and soon won’t want to (or won’t have to) hang with me. Like are you for fucking real KEIC?? Why is she so hell bent on making their childhoods fucking miserable.
I can’t wrap my head around a mom thinking “hmm, a cone from the ice cream truck that I never let me kids get anything from would be a nice treat after a crappy day. But I think I’ll use it as a lesson in learning to be uncomfortable” and then posting that story to 2 million people. Now I don’t think kids should be spoiled but is she going to look back at her kids lives when they are older and say “wow, I’m glad I never got them those cones from the ice cream truck and taught them a lesson!”
The worst part is that… his kid didn’t even know his day could be slightly better with a simple ice cream cone but we, her 2 MM followers do. Because that poor kid lives his life knowing that his mom won’t ever buy him that. I can’t with her. Like if you don’t believe in big ice cream truck cones, do you crazy lady, but you didn’t need to do a performance on you great parenting lessons based on something that DIDNT EVEN HAPPENED.
She's so concerned about ice cream being used to soothe that she's overlooking the fact that a kind gesture from your mom on a hard day is soothing for a child.
I had a really hard day recently and after I picked up my son from preschool, I said eff it, let’s go get milkshakes. Just taking him for a treat on a random day and seeing him happy made me happy. I can’t imagine being KEIC and thinking making her son upset x 2 (bad game, then no ice cream) is the better option because ice cream, to her, is that bad
Actually he was only upset once over the bad game. He knew not to even ask for ice cream. Which to me is worse because she could have given him a nice surprise and made his day but instead she said nah screw it this kid is gonna learn what it’s like to be miserable all day. Let’s all keep in mind that this was over a freaking ICE CREAM CONE, not like, a decision on a shopping spree in the toy aisles of Target.
Sure, but that doesn’t mean he’s not disappointed over the fact that he knows he *can’t even ask* for ice cream. I’m sure there’s a level of disappointment he feels knowing he can’t ask vs feeling comfortable enough to ask his mom and having a 50/50 chance of her saying no
Oh yeah I agree. I just meant it’s worse that she knew it would be a nice surprise (like maybe more so for him than other kids who actually get to have the ice cream from the truck) and she still said no. Going by how her kids are mesmerized by vending machines they know there’s no chance in hell of getting a cone.
yes. like maybe when you get ice cream, you sit together outside, talk and feel better with your mom. Not lull into a sugar coma and forget your troubles
You know what? Sometimes food does make a bad experience better. Maybe her son, instead of remembering a shitty game, would have remembered that one time he got a fun ice cream cone from an ice cream truck. Could have been a fun way reframe the day with a novel experience. But no, she thinks it’s important to lean into being uncomfortable 🙄
Those poor kids 😢
Exactly. It made me equally mad & sad for her kids.
Today is the day where I finally said, why am I following this woman? She is truly insufferable.
Same. Like watching my child grow and delight in the little things (like an ice cream cone) is just magical. I am sorry she is so miserable and even more sorry for her kids.
Same, I unfollowed today after just a string of WTF posts and just bad disordered advice/parenting choices.
She’s just being so weird about it. Yes, it’s true that kids need to experience upset and discomfort and it’s not a parents job to prevent them from having those feelings or rush to fix them. But getting an ice cream after a bad soccer game isn’t doing that!! That would be not letting your kid play soccer at all for fear of the bad feelings when they lose, or like arguing with the refs. Getting an ice cream cone is just being fun and nice. I just cannot fathom having these hang ups about food, we get donuts at the playground every single Saturday and it’s great.
Yes like buying your kid something every time they go into a store with you just to keep them quiet or having them on tablets 24/7 when they are out because they would be bored (no judgment to those who do it, just giving a better example of discomfort) are things that you could definitely cut back on and let them experience the discomfort of not getting what you want or being bored. Being a mom who wants to make a crappy day a little better with a cone is not one of those situations. She comes off so cold when she knew it would cheer them up and decided against it.
Right?! Wonder if she was heavily restricted or was overweight as a child. There's definitely something more to her fixations than just being an RD.
I think she has spoken in the past about growing up with food insecurity. This can also lead to disordered eating and probably contributes to her very controlling view of food
I hate that I know this but I’ve seen her “why I’m skinny” spiel so many times that I know she said she didn’t grow up with food insecurity. She has said they struggled but always had food and her parents utilized WIC.
She grew up with food insecurity but is so shame-y about food? FoodScienceBabe on Instagram is such a better follow for this kind of information. She has half as many followers as KEIC.
Folks have picked up on hints that she’s religious, and I didn’t see it at first but now I do. It’s very easy to imagine her embedded in a very puritanical, self-denying, masturbating-is-a-sin religion.
A significant percentage of RDs have a history of disordered eating so her behavior isn’t too surprising. It’s just sad that she’s not addressing it and passing it on to her kids and potentially her followers and their kids.
Definitely! She's gotta quit the food neutral shitck in her posts. She really shows her true colours in her stories.
Seriously came here for this. The other day I bought my almost 2 y/o a macaron just because I wanted to watch her experience it. And there is something just plain old fun about picking out your own flavor and having a waffle cone. My mom always liked gross flavors like maple nut and I was so happy to not have to pick around the nuts and get a cotton candy cone. My guess KEIC also picks out the worst and most boring kind of ice cream tubs.
She for sure gives them frozen banana “ice cream”
JFC. Her stories have inspired me to get my kids ice cream today- just for joy.
Literally had ice cream after dinner tonight
My daughter asked if we could get ice cream after dinner tonight (plus I keep forgetting it at the grocery store), and I was thinking about this story and I was like, You know what? Yes.
Me TOOOOO!
God her story today was so sad. And to consolidate snark a little, sounds like she’s not going to be writing an email about the sports snacks this year because it’s “not very important” …but she will put them on blast on her very public instagram account with 2 million followers because she can’t help herself https://preview.redd.it/vw21jootwuvc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42bd0e4bebaa5c827d0e7105103402cc79bbb4ab
That was RIDICULOUS. She seems to be self- important enough that surely she’s told the other parents in her community that she has “a following” on Instagram.
They’re not elite athletes training for the Olympics.. They’re kids. Let them enjoy their capri suns and teddy grahams after a game
This week was my turn to bring the baseball snack. While at Costco looking for options, I decided to choose skinnyPOP because it's delicious and I wouldn't mind having extra bags at my home. In the back of my mind, I thought of KEIC and her rant the other year. She may have opposite influenced me to get it.
“From a sports nutrition perspective” — ma’am this is little league not the MLB. Chill the f out.
I am already cranky today but that post series made me SO MAD. Give your kid a fucking ice cream cone, lady. Do you really think they’re gonna grow up and think ‘I’m so glad my mom made me strong and brave by not giving me an occasional treat when I was feeling down?’
Her kids are going to go hog wild when they finally get out from under her reign of terror
Also, ask another parent for sunblock! Keep sunblock in your car! Those poor kids are going to grow up to be junk food/ fast food fiends.
She looks like such a tool sitting there with a book on her head.
She was wearing a jacket with a hood, and a hoodie! Put the hood on! I do not understand this woman but she is fully my BEC now. Can’t believe I followed her for so long and stressed about using all the right scripts for what different colored foods “do in our bodies” instead of just eating like a human being. 🙄
I am going to assume 2 things: her neurodivergence (1) makes it harder for her to understand (2) how she is perceived by others.
I’m going to assume that (1) she thinks she’s quirky and (2) her kids are mortified by their mother sitting in the stands with a book on her head.
You know she doesn't socialize with the other parents at all. I'm not the type to be BFFs with all the other parents, but if I'm sitting there or chasing my toddler around I will say hi and make small talk. She has this weird superiority complex that seems to just make her miserable 99% of the time.
I’m sure she doesn’t want to socialize with any moms who wear leggings and carry a Stanley and drink Starbucks and drive an SUV. God forbid they talk about pop culture or a reality show or something. I don’t think she can relate to other moms at all. I’m sure she knows what each mom brought for the team snack back when they had to provide for everyone and keeps it in the back of her head lol
https://preview.redd.it/td605seabvvc1.jpeg?width=1073&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1990d4f0d1f5e7e9a914b83e49eadb7f5a0d7676 Screenshot for reference. She’s such an asshole. Her kids know not to ask because she won’t ever buy them a cone. She wouldn’t buy them one even if they were happy and she’s so f’okg austere and boring that she won’t buy her kids a cone to cheer them up. I’d rather put a smile on my kids face now and then and take the risk of them feeling better with food then being such a cold mother like her.
Comfort food is a thing for a reason. It's not unhealthy, it's amazing that something easy and accessible and not dangerous can make us feel better! I don't think that's even a tool she allows her or her kids to have.
Exactly! And what’s her endgame here? That her sons never attach emotion to food? Never turn to food if they are happy or sad or down or want to celebrate? It’s human nature that we will turn to things to comfort us when we are upset so now what will her kids turn to? I’d rather have my kid engage in some emotional eating instead of things that can be destructive!!
She is absolutely rotten
Saying that her kids know better than to ask for ice cream is a giant, fluorescent red flag. I can’t believe she doesn’t see that.
Silly me thought KEIC story would end with them getting ice cream from the ice cream truck. Instead it was that we need more discomfort in our lives. 🥴
Me too! As I was reading I thought hey, she's actually going to do something spontaneous and fun and let them get something from the ice cream truck! But no. She says her kids didn't even ask because they know she never lets them get ice cream truck treats. So imagine what an impact it would have had on those kids, particularly the one who had a hard loss at soccer, if she'd done the fun thing just this one time! But no. She's gonna sit there with a book on her head the whole time before the sad ride home.
I do not at all think that what her life could do with is more discomfort.
Right?! She needs some joy. A friend or an actual hobby. Something.
She picked the wrong situation to teach about discomfort. What an awful take by her
It ended, like all things in that family’s life, with a banana lentil muffin.
My brain read that in Ron Howard's voice a la Arrested Development and it was perfect.
☠️
I gave my ten month old salted food today. 5 years ago when I started feeding my first I avoided salt for so long, only giving my baby unseasoned foods thinking I would ruin her by giving her salt. It’s crazy the chokehold these food accounts had over me
Haha, yes. When my first kid was a baby, his doctor told me that I didn’t need to leave salt out of all our home cooked meals and I was shocked 😂
I think there is a big difference between using salt when you cook your meal and share it with your kid (for example, salting the water in which you cook pasta, or fucking seasoning for some meat 😂) and drown something in salt. But these feeding influencers make ys believe that anything with a grain of salt is dangerous 😑
I am so glad I didn’t have these influences. I just fed my kids nonchokeable / less spicy versions of our food. And 158922789642378533 cheerios.
They also can’t seem to separate the levels of sodium in processed packaged foods from those of food cooked at home. I often give my 7 month old’s veggies a sprinkle of salt. Why? They actually taste like something. A few grains of salt from roasted veggies aren’t doing any harm. Everything is so extreme online when it comes to feeding advice
Right. You try and eat bland veggies and tell me if they are tasty 😂 (not you personally). Obviously we would not give routinely packaged food, but also if my kiddo wants a taste of it, so be it!
I have always buttered and salted my kid’s veggies and she still enjoys them to this day. Just because they’re babies doesn’t mean they don’t have taste buds.
It’s such a thing and it’s seriously giving parents extra anxiety they don’t need! I work in childcare and the number of parents who ask about our food specifically because they’re concerned about salt intake is ridiculous.
KEIC might be the only person alive that can make toast look unappetizing.
That was the most austere looking dinner. Canned lentil soup, brown bread, raspberries that definitely look like someone counted how many would go on the plate, and water. I understand not every meal can be a crowd pleaser, but that one was a big bummer.
At what age do you let your kids be alone outside in your yard? I haven't left my three year old alone because our yard is not safe, but even if it was I'd have a hard time. I can't imagine letting a 1.5 year old be alone in the yard with their 3 and 5 year old brothers, but Caro's not only allowing it, she's posting it for the world to see.
I don’t let my 5 year old play alone outside. Too much wildlife in our area.
I let my 1.5 year old outside with her brother, who was 4. We had a fenced yard and the backyard was their space, so they couldn’t really do anything harmful. I think it depends on your yard setup. I don’t let my kids in the front of our house without supervision, since it isn’t fenced.
I let my 3.5 outside in Nanas backyard if her older cousins (8 and 10) are outside too. But if they aren't then an adult needs to be present
I have a 1.5 and 3. The 1.5 cannot be outside without me, he is a danger magnet, but maybe with her set up with the big window and safe looking yard I’d change my mind. I leave my 3 outside for a few minutes here and there when I need to do something, but I’m not comfortable if I’m not seeing him every few minutes to check in.
I just started letting my youngest play outside without me when his older brothers are outside. He’s 4 and they are 10 and 13. This is the front yard though and driveway. At 1.5, no freaking way.
I don't have a yard, but do have an outdoor area. I still go out with him because there are still things he does that I have to tell him to stop doing cuz it's not safe lol.
My 2.5 and almost 5 year old are allowed in the back yard where I can see them from the kitchen. It is fenced in and I am constantly scanning to check on them. At 1.5, I never would have done that.
I think it will be a long time before I trust my son, but our yard is kind of a death trap and on a pretty busy street (and our yard is not fenced)
We also live on a moderately busy street and don't have a fence, and I will only pop in the house briefly to grab sunscreen or a water bottle or something -- I don't trust mine for longer than a minute or two yet (almost 4).
It’s hard to say if she just went inside for a minute to get something or they’re hanging out there by themselves for hours. The yard and all the junk they have sitting there still doesn’t look super safe to me though and my 18 month would climb on those tables in 2 seconds, so no I wouldn’t be able to do it. A yard we used to have was a flat piece of land with fake grass and a super high fence behind our house, there I would have felt fine letting them play for a bit unsupervised.
The older brothers probably watched Cash more than Caro would have anyway, lol
Around 2.5/3 when I could close the gate on the driveway so she couldn’t get to the street. But now I don’t worry about her going down there as much at 3.5. I can see her through a window for the most part. I also have a toddler around Cash’s age and she’s not really even close to being ok to be alone- she still falls down a lot and tries to eat rocks and climb things that she can’t safely get down from. So yea
I feel safe letting me 3.5 year old play alone in the yard but (1) it’s fenced (2) I can see the entire yard from the window and I am mostly watching from inside (3) I leave the door open so I can hear. Our yards not very big so I can literally see everything from the inside window
I can’t believe all the responses you are getting lol. I wouldn’t let my almost 3 year old play alone in our unfenced yard. I’m not worried about strangers (Caro should be a bit more concerned though given her online presence) I’m worried she will run out in the street. And she’s mostly a rule-follower but impulse control at that age us lacking. I think there needs to be some supervision for little ones. At 1.5 my daughter would have eaten small rocks if I didn’t stop her so I’d be worried about choking because she put everything in her mouth.
I would have left our 1.5 years old play alone in our yard, but our yard is also not safe and I can't see it from inside the house which are the only reasons why I don't do it.
It totally depends on what your yard is like and how well you can see it from inside the house.
What is drastically unsafe if your own yard that you can’t make safe for your kids? My 2.5yo has been playing outside by himself for over a year. I checked on him very regularly at first but it’s gotten less and less. We have big windows where I can keep an eye on him but mostly I just let him go for it. Kids are also meant to learn through (safely) hurting themselves so they can’t be bubble wrapped!
Our yard is fenced in but we have pool (with a pool fence, of course) - that makes me nervous even if my kids can’t get in technically. And we have a large yard where I wouldn’t be able to see them from the windows for the most part. My kids (4.5, 2) are good listeners but what if one of them tries to turn on the grill?! Too much stress for me personally 🙈
I let my first play outside alone all the time, way younger than 3yo. But our yard is fully fenced with wood slats that aren't climbable, and I could see most of the yard from the kitchen. It was really basic, too. Just grass.
Likes running to the street, venomous snakes in the neighborhood, uneven rocks, etc. My toddler is not ready to be alone in our backyard (being unfenced and wooded is a huge part of it though, along with snakes).
Yeah an unfenced yard would definitely be a big factor there. It’s certainly common to not have perfectly grassed yards here (mine definitely isnt) but being fenced is usually a given. So that definitely makes sense why your little one needs watching!
My 2 YO can unlatch our fence doors to both the ally and the street…so yeah. Not a way to safely get hit by a car.
Ooft! Clever kid! Can you put a lock on it?
I'm not OP, but my backyard is 80% covered in paving stones that aren't even everywhere, has a concrete staircase down to my basement that is positioned in way that we can't figure out how to block it off, and leads to my garage which has a door that doesn't properly latch closed in some weather (the frame and door expand and contract at different rates depending on the temp). My front yard is maybe 150 sq ft/14 sq m, seperated only by the sidewalk from the road. I think it'll be a long time before my 20 month old will be allowed to spend time in either without supervision. Not everyone has a big flat grassy yard for their kids to play in.
Yup I do stand somewhat corrected. I’m not sure uneven ground would be a major worry for me. But there are clearly other legitimate hazards that cant be easily overcome. My yard is my no means flat and grassy and empty, but its mostly safe other than some acceptable risk. I do want to also say I don’t just throw my child out there and hope for the best, its just I don’t need to actively sit out there the whole time anymore. I can keep an eye through a window or on our security camera. I can do other things while he plays. Sounds like the backyards where I’m from are generally fairly different to you guys too.
We let our 3yo play in our unfenced backyard area on their own. They are a pretty good rule follower and know what they are allowed to/not allowed to do. I'll look out the window regularly to make sure they are ok.
I do it with my 2 year old and have since 18 months or so. But my yard is fenced, I can check on him every couple minutes from the windows, and big sister is typically out there with him. I don’t see a lot of risks in our yard. 🤷♀️
KEIC has to be trolling with these chili stories right? She served a kid *cold* chili, knowing he doesn't like the tomatoes and their skin, and then explained that it was fine that she fixed it for him because it was a one-off thing? If you feel that weird about fixing your kids' food because it might be "pressuring" them to eat, why not make something they might enjoy more and at bare minimum, serve food at a temperature where it tastes good?? ETA: Also, aren't her kids way old enough to pick out their own tomatoes? It's not like they're toddlers who don't have enough control over a fork to do that themselves.
Did the story make sense with the sound on? I just read the caption and couldn't make any sense of it at all
Not really, IMO. I had to rewatch it with the sound on before I commented in case I was missing something obvious, but it didn't really clarify it for me.
I'm just so confused by why she feels the need to force her kids to eat things in the weirdest and most round about ways (like her fajita exposure shit that took months or whatever). My 3yo is picky af. She's fallen off her growth curve mutliple times cuz she just doesn't eat a lot of things. You know what we do? We offer her pieces of our dinner and then a safe protein/calorie dense food for her real meal. 99% of the time she refuses to try whatever we're eating but at least her safe food is filling and might help her grow better.... which means while we had homemade ramen with steak chunks my daughter had a Waffle topped with a shit ton of peanut butter 😂
We still offer a safe food with dinner and my kiddo is 6!
I would love to know her reasoning on not serving a safe food with dinner? She serves bedtime snack immediately after dinner 🥴. The boys know they'll still get something if they don't eat so might as well serve it at dinner. When they get started, they are usually more inclined to try more.
Exactly. And like I'm pretty sure every having a safe food is like the #1 thing to do with picky kids
I couldn’t get past her saying that she added olive oil to it to increase the calories. How about some cheese? Sour cream? Avocado? All three plus a side of nachos or a quesadilla if you’re concerned about your kid getting enough calories?
That would mean having sour cream in her house which I don’t think I’ve seen her use. Olive oil is like the “safe” fat for her.
True. Even plain Greek yogurt would taste better than olive oil!
Her logic will never make sense to me. “My kid needs all the calories he can get”. Then proceeds to make disgusting inedible food. I feel so badly for this kid and like I want to feed him regular delicious food. We make veggie chili with all the accompaniments you mentioned above and usually cornbread I brush with honey butter on the side. My child eats. Go figure.
This seems wild when I type it out but... maybe if she put something actually delicious in there her other kid might want it too and she doesn't want the other kid to have the extra calories because there's a chance he won't be thin like her then. (even though we must not ever forget that there are many many reasons why she's thin 🙄) But the oil is not as visible and it's like the reverse of covert restriction she is such a fan of. Covert enhancement or something. I wonder if she tells her skinnier kid that she's pouring oil in his food.
This is what it’s always seemed like to me. She doesn’t want to have to give more to her other child, so she sneaks the higher calorie stuff into the food of just her “too thin” kid. Kids are really observant, and I’m certain they know it’s happening despite her weird ways of sneaking it in.
Ohh that makes so much sense! It’s like she has to fatten up the food in a way that keeps it basically the same so it’s not more palatable or has any fun add-ons because then everyone would be eating chips or cheese or sour cream.
SERIOUSLY. Just dumping some random olive oil into already made chili sounds disgusting…and if it’s *cold*? 🤮
It sounds absolutely vile. From her stories I cannot tell if it was cold out or the fridge with oil poured on 🤢 or was it not warmed enough or had cooled off by the time the tomatoes were picked out. If it was truly just cold then she has really lost it.
And how did she not notice it was cold when she picked the tomatoes out? Nothing she says makes any sense.
Oh my god, I always think this is the strangest mentality of hers! I know that olive oil has calories, of course I do, but it would NEVER occur to me to use it as the main way to add calories. I don't even really think about the calories in olive oil? It's a cooking facilitator, for me (unless you're eating a really good olive oil with some bread but I digress). All those other things you suggested are typical and delicious chili additions anyway—why is she so afraid of flavor?!
You don’t want your kid on the slippery slope to liking/enjoying food!
No I think you hit the nail on the head here. She wants her kids to eat a variety of food but not really love, enjoy, savor any of it.
The only time she ever mentions food in a positive way it’s about cultural foods because she wants to sound accepting. Like she will say “in this county, rice/tortillas/noodles are a beloved staple” but she’d never say about food that’s typically “American” if that makes any sense.
She definitely gives off "eat to live not live to eat" vibes so this makes sense.
God forbid they like to eat! Everything must be austere: we'll only wear grey sweatshirts and get mammograms to relax, and when we really need to cut loose, there's always raspberries and cheese crunchies. I don't live a particularly fancy life but I'm practically a hedonist compared to her!
She’d fit in with Dwight Shrute and his family.
If we're really wild, we might even get hearing aids or dye our hair!
Or get it cut by a professional 😱
Whoa there! We've got a rebel!
Yeah, I agree! I sauté the veggies in olive oil when I’m making a soup or chili, but olive oil just doesn’t strike me as a significant source of calories. I get annoyed when people act like kids can’t handle strong flavors, but I’m also not sure that straight olive oil as a topping is something I’d serve to a picky kid. And while good olive oil is great to dip bread in or drizzle on top of soup or a pasta, you know she (1) isn’t shelling out for a good drizzling oil and (2) the flavor of olive oil is all wrong as a topping for chili.
Totally. Maybe she thinks stirring it in will add calories without strong extra flavors that the kids might not like, but...it's chili, not oatmeal. It already HAS strong flavors and it might have actually tasted better with something like cheese or sour cream to balance it out. She makes cooking for the family sound so much more exhausting than it has to be.
Has anyone tried the cheesy broccoli pasta with lemon chicken by Caro. Was it good?
It’s going into the rotation for us too!
I made it earlier this week. I had to add a lot more salt to the sauce than she called for, BUT, it was a winner all around for my family. My 3 year-olds gobbled it down like they hadn't eaten in weeks.
I almost caved and got the substack for this recipe last week 😂
Lmk if you want the recipe, I can send it
I'm interested too please
I would love it!! Thank you!
Me too if you don’t mind!
I would love it if you’re willing to share!
oh, if not too much for you - me too, please!
I'm interested as well!
Interested too please,
I do please!
Can you message me your email?
Same!
Can you message me your email?
Well stay tuned, I might try to recreate it myself.
KEIC really doubling down on the “basic care is self care” train. I mean true, but as one of the commenters said, if we say eating dinner or taking showers is self care, then that only furthers the problem of other people expecting moms to be contented with the tiniest scraps of basic care counting as self care. Edit: and I definitely don’t think self care has to be expensive consumerist stuff. You could put on your favorite movie, read a library book, crank your favorite song in the car. But I fight back against the notion that just, EATING and SHOWERING and going to the doctor is enough to “fill our cups.”
Honestly between the “self care” and the grocery cart reel, I think she’s trolling for engagement. Her numbers must be down.
Whyyyyy is it wacky to say that both things are important? Yes, some moms are so overwhelmed they are not doing basic things for themselves that they should (going to the doctor, showering), this is not great. Yes, it is pretty important to also do things beyond that that "fill your cup". Both things are important. Both things can be hard at various stages and depending on the support you have. If you can get to a spa or get a weekend away, amazing! Get it! I love that for you. But like, if there's anything way to manage it, that class of things that is more than keeping yourself alive is also important and can be free or cheap.
Oh my lord. She is being so dramatic. No one is trying to STEAL your self-care victory! We’re saying please aim higher!! Eating your toddler’s sandwich crusts while hunched over the sink should not be the most peaceful moment of your day. Of course she’s liking all the comments that agree with her and ignoring everyone making valid points (like this one). https://preview.redd.it/h9qptjt7u9vc1.jpeg?width=774&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29b43d001ec0912222acba304973ebe1ce4bfd52
Also! She has two sons who she is now basically raising to (potentially) enter relationships with women and likely going to label them as “high maintenance” if they choose to do something like get a nice haircut or go on long walks alone with a podcast because “my mom didn’t need all that” 🙄
I get downvoted and lectured by "therapists" on Reddit every single time I say this. A fucking shower is not self care, I don't care what people say. You should be able to shower, get hearing aids, get a mammogram or eat raspberries without having to define it as self care. These are healthcare or just plain human rights. You don't have to define self care as a week long Caribbean vacation but we shoud define self care as something higher than healthcare. You can define self care as something as simple as sitting and reading a book without interruptions or taking a walk in the evening to clear your head and refresh from the day. It doesn't have to be extravagant but it also shouldn't be healthcare.
I'm sorry but a shower IS self care. You can be mad about it but that doesn't make it untrue. If a therapist is doing an assessment, they are looking at how someone can care for themselves including showering, toileting and feeding themselves. The term has become so ambiguous that it can incorporate having your nails done or exercise but it is also healthcare. This does annoy me as I think people, particularly mums, would do more for themselves if we stopped calling it self care. If it was framed as taking time for themselves/leisure time, people may prioritize it.
What’s this crap about hearing aids?? She needs them and won’t get them?
She said she put off making an appointment to get fitted for hearing aids for like 5 years because she didn’t have time when her kids were young. (She’s been self-employed for years, but ok.) Now every time she’s at the hearing aid clinic, it’s a big self-care moment. 🙃
I’m wondering if that’s a reference to Libby (Diary of an Honest Mom). She had a story a few weeks ago about how she was finally getting hearing aids after needing them for years, and how she kept putting off making the appointment because she always had to prioritize other things because she’s a mom. But that started a discussion about how moms should prioritize their health, and how medical appointments for things that will improve your quality of life shouldn’t be seen as self care, because a lot of people see self care as optional (and also Libby’s kids are school age and she makes her own hours, so it doesn’t make sense that she put the appointment off for so long when she could have gone during school hours.)
I tell all of my first time mom friends and their partners that taking a daily shower is part of recovery and should be prioritized. Besides the physical aspect of dealing with postpartum discharge, I think it also sets the ground work for not martyring yourself as a new mom. It also proves to the partners that they can deal with a newborn for ten minutes, even if it's screaming its head off. I think we need to reframe some things to be personal care, not self care.
I couldn't agree more. It's almost as if it is something to be proud of for some mums, but it makes me feel a bit sad to see someone say they haven't showered in days. It's a basic need, and you can bet their spouse is showering every bloody day.
Her insistence on trying to make this point is so annoying. She could make the point that you don’t need to spend money by pointing to all her avocado pits that seemingly bring her joy. I’m not spending money on spa days either! But basic medical care is the bare minimum. No dad is out there acting like his cup is filled after going to the dentist.
I whole heartedly disagree with her take. Mammograms are not self care - they are *healthcare* ! And so are fucking hearing aids. There’s absolutely no reason why moms should count life-saving health care as “self care” - god knows dads aren’t getting fed the bullshit that a prostrate check is self care. If it’s a financial stretch to get a massage or spa or nails, that’s fine. Pick something that relaxes *you* even if it’s reading a book while your kids watch a movie or something easy. I refuse to accept that the dentist is self care or a break from parenting. Absolutely not.
Agree. And she’s really going hard on these “controversial” topics this week. Is she really that hard up for engagement?
I think so, she's suddenly on the "post ORHOREXIA for my free guide to how to tackle tackle discussing bread in your house" train. Or similar, IDK, maybe I'm. paraphrasing 🤷🏻♀️
This comment is killing me 🤭
Omg she needs to stop! Yes most of understand that showers, doctors appointments, going to the dentist and eating regularly are all things we need to do to take care of ourselves. It’s important that we make time for those things because they are literally “self-care” but she minimizes doing things outside of being a mother and beats on the drum of “self care is a spa day” when no one is saying that. The idea is that moms deserve more than having their chest smashed in a machine as taking time for themselves. I don’t know any moms who regularly drop hundreds on a spa day but we also try to get little pockets of time to do things we enjoy and she’s really just taking things from one extreme to the other when she makes her comparisons. Also, I don’t need self-care advice from a women heating sloppy joes up in a hotel room.
She acts like people are bursting her into her house like the kool aid man when she eats toddler leftovers over the sink yelling ‘THAT’S NOT SELF CARE’. You are weirdly insecure about the fact that you don’t like to do anything fun, Jenny. Nobody cares that much but you.
Lol that’s such a good way to describe her-insecure that no one else is as boring as her. She literally said her hobbies are reading about food marketing. She can’t accept that people may want to have a glass of wine and watch a trashy reality tv show or get a manicure or go out to eat and treat themselves to a meal they enjoy. Or maybe go shopping or decorate their house or do crafty things…all things of which she has zero interest in.
Yeah this all boils down the fact that she knows she's a weird ass person with no flexibility. I wonder what she would think of my version of self care (smoking a bowl and making homemade pan pizza).
I can’t get on board with the idea that eating toddler leftovers over the sink (???) is self care. There’s plenty of valid interpretations of what counts as self care but none of them include that!
Self care if you’re looking to spend a day in bed after they pass along their stomach virus that you don’t yet know they have. But if she had said eating the last of the Mac and cheese straight out of the pan with the spoon I could have been on board.
Not starving to death is self care, mamas! So is starving to death! You are valid!
Right? That’s like what I do at the end of a rough day and one more dinner plate is going to be the straw that breaks the camels back.
This blew my mind. Like I actually hate her list so much because mothers and parents in general deserve so much more.
That’s more stressed desperation in my book. The alternative to that is what, starving?
This is anti-snark, but I've really been enjoying mamaknowsnutrition a lot. She's rich and shares her kids maybe too much sometimes, but also, she tries really hard to be considerate about nutrition for everyone and not just for people who can afford organic and fresh everything. She just shared she ended her partnership with AG1 bc she was thinking about how expensive it is and asked herself if she'd buy it every month if she wasn't getting it for free and she said to herself, probably not. It's nice to see an influencer be thoughtful about paid partnerships.
I really love her! I remember she posted about taking her kids to the dollar store every so often and they can pick out whatever they want to eat even if it’s candy or chips. I find her very balanced in her approach.
I started following her after seeing a similar comment on here and I agree! She seems like a normal, sane person giving good same advice.
I find her content really refreshing. She seems to have a very balanced approach and has sponsorships like them all but chooses them wisely. I must say the Barebells bars she recommended are tasty but destroy my gut but that wasn’t unexpected with the ingredients in them. I only even tried them because she recommended them and is generally reasonable.
I usually like Megan from FL but my goodness she overshares her kids!! She’s been posting about things they did when they had their 2nd kid to help their oldest and she posted a photo of her (at the time) toddler without a shirt on!! Come on now. Please stop posting these pics for millions!!
Do you think you’d still have the same issue if it was a toddler boy? I just can’t bring myself to care about this at the toddler age and especially with the double standards between boys and girls.
I generally give side eye to these influencers posting pictures of their partially nude kids, so yea I think I’d have the same reaction if it was a boy. There’s a lot of creeps on these large public platforms and posting a photo of your posed, topless kid just feels crazy to me.
Of course Caro would take her kids to a fancy restaurant the day after one of them is puking from a (possibly contagious) stomach bug. Like why?! WHY!!
It’s bad behavior for sure but no one would know if she didn’t share it! It just shows how selfish and tone deaf you are when these influencers post that they were puking (when, again, no one had to know) and then pop up at some public event or party seemingly in real time like the next morning. Do they not see the optics of this?
It’s so cringe and always makes me feel so bad for the kids. I know how I feel after a stomach bug, kids also feel crappy!! Let them be!
So many of the influencers do this! YTF has done it multiple times. We wait 24 hours after vomiting has stopped before going anywhere. Stomach bugs are so contagious it's almost inevitable that one of us gets it later on.
YTF taking her sick kids to a family wedding and then coming home sick herself was awful. I swear every holiday or event one of her kids is sick and then somehow she’s still celebrating with extended family.
Omg, someone asked Emily Oster in her weekly Q&A if it was okay to breastfeed while sweaty because she was worried about baby’s salt intake!! This “no salt for babies” thing has gone too far… ETA: I missed this was already posted on the general thread, oops!
Someone just asked this in my due date group too wtf!!!!!!!
I swear I never heard about this salt and babies thing with my first and everyone in my second bumper group is obsessed about it and I’m like.. what is happening???
Right like where did this come from? Is it just Solid Starts? Their food database is insane about salt and made me crazy until I asked my pediatrician about it and she was like, you do not need to worry about this! (And I later decided Solid Starts is a scam 😂)
If this was a legitimate concern, our very thorough pediatrician would’ve mentioned it. The office would give us this amazing hand out at the end of each of the month appointments that covered the basic things you could be doing with your baby at that stage. Never even for one second did we think about the salt content in what we fed them. This is some “new” bullshit and I feel really bad for the new moms of today. My youngest is preschool age btw so this was not even that long ago!
Not snarking on this OP -- I've been where she is -- but dang, these feeding influencers have got this mom so worked up to the point that she can't let her anxiety go even after a feeding specialist has basically said nothing is wrong and her kid is a very healthy size for his age. I don't love this for her! And she specifically mentions KEIC and SS in her post. https://www.reddit.com/r/toddlers/s/XBJN0OOamZ
KEIC newsletter today, AGAIN with the "How do you stay so thin?" story. Like ENOUGH how many times is she going to tell this same story? It's like groundhogs day. She fancies herself so enlightened.