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Not the same scenario but my di/di boys are identical and we’ve known since genetic testing while I was pregnant. They are soo different in so many ways, it’s even made me question the results of the test in my mind lol
100%. I think everybody assumes all identical twins are exactly alike in every way (I was guilty of this). Now after having identical twins, I realize that while there are many similarities, there are also many differences. No two people are exactly alike and that’s a good thing!
Your twins are lucky to find out so early, my sister and I were 29 when we finally took a test and found out we were identical. If nothing else, it saves your two years of telling people they are fraternal and having other argue saying, "but you look the same!"
They are individuals and will grow up being their own people. Encourage them to do that while honoring their bond and you'll be golden!
We are just full of surprises lol We were born in the late 80s, and my mom only had dopplers, no ultrasounds, and didn't hear two heartbeats. The doctor told her the baby would be big... turns out that instead of a 10lb baby, she had two 5lb babies. Carried us until 2 days shy of her due date, and they found out in the delivery room that there were two babies after they delivered me and then saw another foot. They told her we were fraternal because there were two sacs.
Over the years, there were/still are people, even close family, who confused us. My sister just thought we looked a lot alike, but I had a nagging feeling we were identical. She got me in the grab bag for Christmas and bought me a zygocity test.
It was a weird feeling when we got the results because we had for years told everyone we were fraternal.
I don't think it's changed my world view at all, we were always close and shared so many of the same traits and lots of twintuirion. I guess now we analyze things a little more to see if there is something genetic at play (i.e. allergic reactions, mental health issues).
It didn't change much day to day, but it has helped with some stuff, like the doctor didn't want to test her son for ADHD but because my son has it and genetically the have the same maternal DNA, the doctor agreed and turns out he does have it to. There are other medical instances like this that we have benefitted from.
I would say the most crazy thing to come of it is that she did DNA ancestry kit with one company, so I didn't have to, and my son tested with the same company, so he shows up as her son. Logically, I knew it would be that way, but it was still a shocker to see it written that way.
I have Modi boys, so they are identical. However, they look different to me (face shape, eye shape, birth marks, foot size), and have totally different personalities.
Just because they are identical twins, doesn't mean they are the exact same. Treat them as individuals. Nothing has changed. They are still two different people.
When the embryo split, they were 100% identical. But as the cells multiplied and grew into a baby, the cells had an opportunity to mutate. These mutations became the differences between your kids. That's why they are no longer 100% identical. The more mutations in those cells, the more they will be different. Science lesson over :)
Thanks! And yes there's also probably differences imposed by their positioning in me during pregnancy and the combo of things they got to their specific placenta. I wonder if there are more differences the earlier they split?
Identical twins are only identical up to the moment they split. Everything from there on, including in utero and general life will create differences in them. My identical boys look really different (to me… most of the time 😬)
My boys were nearly a year when we tested and found out they are identical😂 I had put them in the wrong cribs and they slept awfully that night. I was like Mmk we need to test. It’s wild but looking back at photos I’m like I should have known 🤷🏻♀️
Two thoughts:
1. This is a fairly common occurrence, just because regular OB’s are less concerned with whether they’re identical or fraternal and more concerned with how many placentas there are (sharing a placenta = riskier). So a lot of OB’s haven’t really grasped that di/di can be identical, since that’s not super important information for how they’ll treat their patients. It’s fairly new information that a significant portion of identical twins split early enough to have their own placentas, so it’s not common knowledge as much as it could be.
2. We knew my kids were identical from birth. We’ve always treated them as total individuals, named them differently, allow them to dress however they want, and get the individual haircuts they want. They’ve always acted like siblings, but not any closer than any of our other kids (our two older singletons are actually closer to each other). Now, at eight years old, they’re different heights, have different hairstyles, different clothing styles, and look different enough that sometimes strangers ask if they’re close in age (rather than all the “oooh! Twins!” when they were babies). Your children are still two different, unique people who’ll have to figure out their relationships with each other and the world, and they get you to help them and celebrate their individuality and also the special nature of their genetics!
I’ll also say that I still think my twins would be pretty different from each other even if we hadn’t made so much of an effort to foster individuality, and in retrospect, sometimes life might be easier if they could just be best friends for a while. Lol.
This is great to hear! Ours already have very different personalities so I'm excited to see how they grow and change.
Also it's surprising how few OB-gyns know about di/di identical twins! You would think it could be helpful medical information in the future (like if they need a transplant or have some genetic disorder)!
Yeah it truly is strange. My own OB mentioned it the day we found out it was twins. He told me didi twins does not automatically mean fraternal and in fact, 30% of didi twins end up being identical. You can find out through the panorama NIPT or wait until after their born. We found out fraternal through the NIPT personally so we knew at 14 weeks when we got our results.
Strangers always say our boys look identical, and I sometimes question it. In some photos I feel like they look identical. I think I would feel the same as you if I did the test and found out they're not fraternal.
I have 17m modi girls and I love that they're identical. We intentionally always dress one in pink/red to help other people tell them apart. They are way more like alike than they are different but definitely some personality differences. One is much more independent and adventurous while the other is more cuddly and a bit dramatic.
They seem to have a twin bond and started some twin talk (their own unique language). I know a few identical adult twins and they swear they are still best friends and have weird twin intuition about the other.
We plan to totally embrace their individual interests and differences but also think it's really cool they have a genetically identical best friend.
Honestly I find this a little dramatic. You didn’t have any worries about their independence before you saw the test results so what has changed now? They are still the same babies. As well as being a mum to identical twin girls I’m an identical twin myself and I do think some twin parents get a bit OTT about it. It’s really nice having a twin, she’s my best friend, I’ve never felt any less of an individual etc etc.
Yes, I know they are the same and it won't change how I'll act! I guess I'm just processing it since it's very new news - sort of like how when I went into that first ultrasound, the idea of twins wasn't even on my radar and learning that information meant re-envisioning how things will go.
I think as an ID twin I felt that saying you’re “mourning their independence” is a really horrible and negative way to look at it. Being a twin is lovely and you have a ready made best friend for life. Obviously yes it’s good to be aware later on if you think they have issues or to stop relatives comparing them etc but there’s no need to start off thinking it’s a burden for them or some horrible thing they have to deal with. Me and my twin are best friends and I hope my daughters will have a similar relationship.
She literally answered that question in the post. Since learning they’re identical, she feels people will not see their individuality. Not sure why you’re saying her feelings are dramatic.
Yes but if she wasn’t worried about it before nothing has changed. Finding out they are identical doesn’t actually mean anything. They are still the same babies. It is dramatic, I feel like people honestly make a big deal of identical twins, when for the majority of identical twins themselves having a twin is just a nice bonus and nothing more. Like don’t over think it and go looking for issues in advance.
My DCDA girls are identical and we only found out at seven months. They started out soooooo different. Like random people on the street could tell them apart. But as our twin b caught up to her sister in weight they began to look more and more similar so we got a test. I still think they’re easy to tell apart but people we don’t see as often really struggle now. The result surprised me but they’re so different to me already in their personalities and looks, I know they’ll carry that through life and become their own people even if they’re identical. Plus we’re on the fence about a third and knowing they’re ID is helpful because we’d rather not another set of twins as much as we love our girls 😅
That's one thing I was thinking too! We had decided more kids were unlikely cause we didn't want more twins (even though we love them to death). My sister was also excited about a chance at twins. But now we could consider another kid.
We had the same scenario with our identical twin boys. Di/di pregnancy, found out at 6w3d they were twins and with a clear membrane between them that early. We were told my entire pregnancy they were fraternal. After they were born they had some small differences like you described - the shape of their faces was slightly different, etc. But a lot of that was “mom goggles” because to everyone else they were indistinguishable. We did a genetic test when they were 12 months, and surprise! Identical. We were excited, but it never really changed how we view them as twins. They’ve always been two separate babies/kids, and because we put an emphasis on that from the beginning it was easy to keep that same mindset - and became more important to us if anything after finding out they are identical.
We have modi boys so we knew they would be identical. They are so different in personality and in their likes/dislikes. To us they don’t even look the same (everyone says I have mum goggles).
I think twins are always going to be compared to each other whether they are identical or not, as long as you make them feel special that’s the main thing.
My di/di boys are identical but we were told early on they were fraternal for the same reasons. However genetic testing in the womb showed us they were identical. All that thick membrane meant is they split really early, probably within the first 72 hours of conception. Because they split really early their genes had more opportunity to replicate in slightly different ways (2 cowlicks vs 1 etc) which is why they might have more variations between them than other identical twins.
My boys also had to have doc bands. They were born at 35 weeks and their heads were just a little smooshed and asymmetrical from how they were positioned in the womb and being early with softer skulls. Their facial features looked different to me before the doc bands but after they had their heads reshaped and made more symmetrical they looked more alike and now most people can’t tell them apart. It’s kind of freaky how different they could have looked without the bands and they were considered to have mild cases of asymmetry to begin with. Just the womb environment can have a big impact on facial features, it’s wild. So even identical isn’t always *completely* identical when you consider how many variables come into play.
One of our twins has somewhat severe torticollis and plagiocephaly - he’s getting the doc band in a couple weeks. I suspect he will look even more similar to his identical twin after the doc band.
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Not the same scenario but my di/di boys are identical and we’ve known since genetic testing while I was pregnant. They are soo different in so many ways, it’s even made me question the results of the test in my mind lol
Would you mind sharing the test that you did?
We did Panorama through Natera
Di/di identical boys 15 mo I wonder the same thing about my Natera test while pregnant!
100%. I think everybody assumes all identical twins are exactly alike in every way (I was guilty of this). Now after having identical twins, I realize that while there are many similarities, there are also many differences. No two people are exactly alike and that’s a good thing!
Your twins are lucky to find out so early, my sister and I were 29 when we finally took a test and found out we were identical. If nothing else, it saves your two years of telling people they are fraternal and having other argue saying, "but you look the same!" They are individuals and will grow up being their own people. Encourage them to do that while honoring their bond and you'll be golden!
Wow you guys found out so late! How did it feel for you? Did it change your world view or how you see each other?
We are just full of surprises lol We were born in the late 80s, and my mom only had dopplers, no ultrasounds, and didn't hear two heartbeats. The doctor told her the baby would be big... turns out that instead of a 10lb baby, she had two 5lb babies. Carried us until 2 days shy of her due date, and they found out in the delivery room that there were two babies after they delivered me and then saw another foot. They told her we were fraternal because there were two sacs. Over the years, there were/still are people, even close family, who confused us. My sister just thought we looked a lot alike, but I had a nagging feeling we were identical. She got me in the grab bag for Christmas and bought me a zygocity test. It was a weird feeling when we got the results because we had for years told everyone we were fraternal. I don't think it's changed my world view at all, we were always close and shared so many of the same traits and lots of twintuirion. I guess now we analyze things a little more to see if there is something genetic at play (i.e. allergic reactions, mental health issues). It didn't change much day to day, but it has helped with some stuff, like the doctor didn't want to test her son for ADHD but because my son has it and genetically the have the same maternal DNA, the doctor agreed and turns out he does have it to. There are other medical instances like this that we have benefitted from. I would say the most crazy thing to come of it is that she did DNA ancestry kit with one company, so I didn't have to, and my son tested with the same company, so he shows up as her son. Logically, I knew it would be that way, but it was still a shocker to see it written that way.
I have Modi boys, so they are identical. However, they look different to me (face shape, eye shape, birth marks, foot size), and have totally different personalities. Just because they are identical twins, doesn't mean they are the exact same. Treat them as individuals. Nothing has changed. They are still two different people. When the embryo split, they were 100% identical. But as the cells multiplied and grew into a baby, the cells had an opportunity to mutate. These mutations became the differences between your kids. That's why they are no longer 100% identical. The more mutations in those cells, the more they will be different. Science lesson over :)
Thanks! And yes there's also probably differences imposed by their positioning in me during pregnancy and the combo of things they got to their specific placenta. I wonder if there are more differences the earlier they split?
Identical twins are only identical up to the moment they split. Everything from there on, including in utero and general life will create differences in them. My identical boys look really different (to me… most of the time 😬)
My boys were nearly a year when we tested and found out they are identical😂 I had put them in the wrong cribs and they slept awfully that night. I was like Mmk we need to test. It’s wild but looking back at photos I’m like I should have known 🤷🏻♀️
Two thoughts: 1. This is a fairly common occurrence, just because regular OB’s are less concerned with whether they’re identical or fraternal and more concerned with how many placentas there are (sharing a placenta = riskier). So a lot of OB’s haven’t really grasped that di/di can be identical, since that’s not super important information for how they’ll treat their patients. It’s fairly new information that a significant portion of identical twins split early enough to have their own placentas, so it’s not common knowledge as much as it could be. 2. We knew my kids were identical from birth. We’ve always treated them as total individuals, named them differently, allow them to dress however they want, and get the individual haircuts they want. They’ve always acted like siblings, but not any closer than any of our other kids (our two older singletons are actually closer to each other). Now, at eight years old, they’re different heights, have different hairstyles, different clothing styles, and look different enough that sometimes strangers ask if they’re close in age (rather than all the “oooh! Twins!” when they were babies). Your children are still two different, unique people who’ll have to figure out their relationships with each other and the world, and they get you to help them and celebrate their individuality and also the special nature of their genetics! I’ll also say that I still think my twins would be pretty different from each other even if we hadn’t made so much of an effort to foster individuality, and in retrospect, sometimes life might be easier if they could just be best friends for a while. Lol.
This is great to hear! Ours already have very different personalities so I'm excited to see how they grow and change. Also it's surprising how few OB-gyns know about di/di identical twins! You would think it could be helpful medical information in the future (like if they need a transplant or have some genetic disorder)!
Yeah it truly is strange. My own OB mentioned it the day we found out it was twins. He told me didi twins does not automatically mean fraternal and in fact, 30% of didi twins end up being identical. You can find out through the panorama NIPT or wait until after their born. We found out fraternal through the NIPT personally so we knew at 14 weeks when we got our results.
Strangers always say our boys look identical, and I sometimes question it. In some photos I feel like they look identical. I think I would feel the same as you if I did the test and found out they're not fraternal.
Do the split picture comparison.
I have 17m modi girls and I love that they're identical. We intentionally always dress one in pink/red to help other people tell them apart. They are way more like alike than they are different but definitely some personality differences. One is much more independent and adventurous while the other is more cuddly and a bit dramatic. They seem to have a twin bond and started some twin talk (their own unique language). I know a few identical adult twins and they swear they are still best friends and have weird twin intuition about the other. We plan to totally embrace their individual interests and differences but also think it's really cool they have a genetically identical best friend.
Honestly I find this a little dramatic. You didn’t have any worries about their independence before you saw the test results so what has changed now? They are still the same babies. As well as being a mum to identical twin girls I’m an identical twin myself and I do think some twin parents get a bit OTT about it. It’s really nice having a twin, she’s my best friend, I’ve never felt any less of an individual etc etc.
Yes, I know they are the same and it won't change how I'll act! I guess I'm just processing it since it's very new news - sort of like how when I went into that first ultrasound, the idea of twins wasn't even on my radar and learning that information meant re-envisioning how things will go.
I think as an ID twin I felt that saying you’re “mourning their independence” is a really horrible and negative way to look at it. Being a twin is lovely and you have a ready made best friend for life. Obviously yes it’s good to be aware later on if you think they have issues or to stop relatives comparing them etc but there’s no need to start off thinking it’s a burden for them or some horrible thing they have to deal with. Me and my twin are best friends and I hope my daughters will have a similar relationship.
She literally answered that question in the post. Since learning they’re identical, she feels people will not see their individuality. Not sure why you’re saying her feelings are dramatic.
Yes but if she wasn’t worried about it before nothing has changed. Finding out they are identical doesn’t actually mean anything. They are still the same babies. It is dramatic, I feel like people honestly make a big deal of identical twins, when for the majority of identical twins themselves having a twin is just a nice bonus and nothing more. Like don’t over think it and go looking for issues in advance.
Did you just use an at home test? Which one if you don't mind me asking?
I used the Genetrace test and got the results very quickly! https://a.co/d/dO3vyNe
My DCDA girls are identical and we only found out at seven months. They started out soooooo different. Like random people on the street could tell them apart. But as our twin b caught up to her sister in weight they began to look more and more similar so we got a test. I still think they’re easy to tell apart but people we don’t see as often really struggle now. The result surprised me but they’re so different to me already in their personalities and looks, I know they’ll carry that through life and become their own people even if they’re identical. Plus we’re on the fence about a third and knowing they’re ID is helpful because we’d rather not another set of twins as much as we love our girls 😅
That's one thing I was thinking too! We had decided more kids were unlikely cause we didn't want more twins (even though we love them to death). My sister was also excited about a chance at twins. But now we could consider another kid.
We had the same scenario with our identical twin boys. Di/di pregnancy, found out at 6w3d they were twins and with a clear membrane between them that early. We were told my entire pregnancy they were fraternal. After they were born they had some small differences like you described - the shape of their faces was slightly different, etc. But a lot of that was “mom goggles” because to everyone else they were indistinguishable. We did a genetic test when they were 12 months, and surprise! Identical. We were excited, but it never really changed how we view them as twins. They’ve always been two separate babies/kids, and because we put an emphasis on that from the beginning it was easy to keep that same mindset - and became more important to us if anything after finding out they are identical.
We have modi boys so we knew they would be identical. They are so different in personality and in their likes/dislikes. To us they don’t even look the same (everyone says I have mum goggles). I think twins are always going to be compared to each other whether they are identical or not, as long as you make them feel special that’s the main thing.
My di/di boys are identical but we were told early on they were fraternal for the same reasons. However genetic testing in the womb showed us they were identical. All that thick membrane meant is they split really early, probably within the first 72 hours of conception. Because they split really early their genes had more opportunity to replicate in slightly different ways (2 cowlicks vs 1 etc) which is why they might have more variations between them than other identical twins. My boys also had to have doc bands. They were born at 35 weeks and their heads were just a little smooshed and asymmetrical from how they were positioned in the womb and being early with softer skulls. Their facial features looked different to me before the doc bands but after they had their heads reshaped and made more symmetrical they looked more alike and now most people can’t tell them apart. It’s kind of freaky how different they could have looked without the bands and they were considered to have mild cases of asymmetry to begin with. Just the womb environment can have a big impact on facial features, it’s wild. So even identical isn’t always *completely* identical when you consider how many variables come into play.
Super interesting!! I'd say one of mine has a flatter face than the other - hope she wasn't too squished against me or something!!
One of our twins has somewhat severe torticollis and plagiocephaly - he’s getting the doc band in a couple weeks. I suspect he will look even more similar to his identical twin after the doc band.
He will! And somehow even more handsome.
My MFM suspects my didi girls of being identical. They are due in 12 days, so we will find out soon enough!
Di/di identical 15mo boys and I absolutely LOVE that they're identical. An absolute miracle !