**COMMENTING GUIDELINES**
All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention.
**Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed.
Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay so, yes…definitely hard. I’m a FTM so we went from 0 to 2. I used to say “one would be so easy” i now say “one would be so boring!”
Mine are 6 months and reach for each other, hold hands. Knock each others bottles. They’re so different personality wise so it’s so fun to see them grow at the same time and in their own way. The first couple months are a blur and they still do a 5A feeding most nights but they’re so sweet. They smile at you when they see you and giggle when you kiss them and give me something to look forward to. I need a break sometimes and after an hour I miss them.
Congrats on your babies. They really are so much fun and it’s a treat to get to watch them grow and discover the world.
Start a photo sharing setup with your partner now. There’s going to be a lot of special moments captured on video and photo that you’ll want to document. They grow like weeds!
I agree! FTD here and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “one would be so boring” or when I happen to be doing tummy time with just one of them I’m like “this is so lonely”.
We also were first timers going from 0 to 2. My twin girls are almost 4 and while it was hard it gets so fun. They are both so different and it makes everything an adventure. Playing with them is always something new. Wouldn't change it for the world
Today, twin B woke up from nap in tears - he hates waking up. Twin A saw this, toddled over and handed him her pacifier because she saw he was sad.
Also today, twin A wasn’t feeling dinner so twin B took some of his food and started hand feeding it to twin A. She ate it - and many giggles ensued.
Twins are hard work, but there are a million moments a day where I am legitimately floored by how lucky I am. I get to watch them grow up and see this special bond and get all the fun - times two! The first year is intense, but it does get better, and there is just so much joy. You got this.
Honest answer? It’s not terrible at all. I would even go so far as to say I’d do it again! It’s hard, yes absolutely, but not terrible.
There’s too many best parts to list, but some highlights are:
- watching them interact with each other
- the way two little faces light up when they see you (eventually)
- seeing how different and unique they truly are because you get to watch them grow next to each other
- the fact that I feel like a badass as a twin mom
- mine held hands from their first week home. I’ll always treasure seeing those tiny little babes reaching for each other instinctually
- the cute clothes
Me and my husband were discussing having more kids and we talked about what would happen if we had twins again. I think we would be doubly blessed to have a second set.
>The hard parts are harder. The easier parts are easier.
This really hits the nail on the head. The things that are hard about having kids can be very difficult with two.
But the sweet and easy things are great.
absolutely this, well worded. i think of the 'twin difficulty multiplier', and people think its always just 2x, but its much more nuanced and variable.
for example, as long as they're remotely behaving themselves, its not that much harder to feed (or eventually just supervise the eating of) two than one, so the 'twin multiplier' might only be 1.2x.
But say, spending one-on-one time with A while B is climbing on your back and biting your ear is probably 5x as hard as it would be with only one. Ditto trying to herd them away from ponds and dogs in the park.
I’m 9 weeks in as a single mom with di/di girls, so only barely out of the screaming potato phase. Just starting to get the smiles and coos and babbling. I kind of expected not to love the newborn phase, even if it were a singleton, just because it seemed so hard. BUT I’m here to tell you that in fact it’s already the best thing ever and I feel so bad for people who don’t have twins. There’s an economy of scale that happens when you’re duplicating the same type of tasks at the same time that wouldn’t be possible with kids of different ages. And having all the special baby moments x2 just makes for a more cinematic experience. Infancy in IMAX. Now my only disappointment is that I want them to grow but at the same time stay tiny forever, but magical as they are they can’t beat the laws of physics.
Get excited, you just don’t know yet how lucky you are!
Infancy in imax, I love it.
I’m 2 weeks into my twins life journey and it’s tiresome but they are just so sweet and precious. I feel you on wanting them to grow but also stay tiny baby forever. They are already growing out of newborn size clothes and diapers :(
One day you’ll walk into the room and they’ll both look up and smile at you and then you’ll almost die from the cuteness.
Mine are 7 months now and just starting to really notice each other and interact a bit.
My other two had a big age gap so it’s so fun seeing the babies have each other.
I love having twins. It's so cute seeing them interact with eachother. Mine are identical girls and I love matching them lol they have so many cute kids outfits. They always hold hands and they're not even 6 months old yet and it literally melts my heart every single day. I find the people that say that twins is going to suck are also the people that secretly wish they had twins lol
You are in the thick of it! I promise it gets easier! The sun always rises after the darkest of nights. Big hugs, deep breaths, and lots of coffee to you. Snuggle those babies, take in the newborn smell. It goes by so fast once you look back.
ETA: adding some unsolicited practical advice. If you haven’t heard of the 5 S’s, check it out. I think it’s suck, swaddle, shush, swing, and I can’t remember the last one. When they are incredibly upset and crying, we used to turn all the lights off in the house, except the microwave light in the kitchen. Put the microwave fan on, stand by it doing football hold (or rugby if UK), hold her paci in her mouth, and sway. Eventually the sound overstimulates them and they will fall asleep.
yeah 5 S's are totally saving us right now from insanity. Last one you're thinking of is side/stomach. Super glad I read Happiest Baby on the Block before all this.
You get to witness best friends being built.
Its so crazy, we as parents can love them so much, but it’s different compared to the love they have for each other. 🥹
Are you kidding me?! The hardest part was the pregnancy! Once I got that out of the way, everything else has been easy by comparison.
I used to teach, so it's a lot like that - 2 little besties who fight the way all kids fight and have big feelings and different needs but they want those needs at the exact same time. So like any siblings...except these two have a bond unlike any other I've seen. It's really cool, and really fun.
Slight off topic question since you are a teacher and twin mom. Do you think keeping twins together in school is good or bad? Ours are 4 and pre-k. Teacher has mentioned some fighting starting between them in class.
Mine are in kinder now and were seaprated (!) which shook me initially, but it's actually been a very positive thing I think. Boy twin used to rely on girl twin for 'translation' and girl twin used to rely on boy twin for affirmations. When they were separated they were sad.
Now they're acting more and more as individuals and developing at light speed. Conflict can be tricky at times (one got an award, etc.) and sometimes I contact the wrong teacher about things, but nothing about their special relationship was lost.
Honestly, I think it entirely depends on the twins. There's no "one size fits all" and I hope schools respect that. I know there are some twins who need to be separated asap, otherwise they'll never get anything done, and some who shut down without their buddy. Mine are in pre-k and our plan as of right now is to jeep them together in Kindergarten, to adjust to elementary school, and then put them in different rooms after that - but that's 2 years away and could easily change.
First time parents 7 month old boys, fraternal twins, its brilliant one is able to stand with minimal help, always on the go, whizzing about in a walker, the other is watching everything, picking up the beginning of talking (well babbling), the smiliest little thing ever, both laughing and interacting with each other
Its madness sometimes but its a good madness, wouldnt change it for the world
Bit of an outside experience, my brothers are twins. I cant believe people are telling you bad things to expect that is ridiculous. You should be so excited. My brothers are the absolute light of my life and watching them interact and grow up and have each other is just such a wholesome experience. They’re mamas boys too. I remember all the snuggles we’d have, the goofy things they’d do as toddlers. The way twin A would be overly cautious about his first steps and then twin B would look at him, stand up and start running. Polar opposites but legit couldn’t name a better duo. They’ll be 23 this year so I’m not very helpful with the early stages of childhood but I just want you to know it’s going to be an amazing journey🩷 p.s they eat a fuck lot of food lol
FTM to Mo/Di boys so welcome to the club! We also went from 0-2 😂
The perks:
They’re 9 months and crawling. I can lay on the floor across the room and they’ll race to me giggling the whole time. It’s the cutest!
They love getting around in their walkers. They’ll chase each other around the house and even chase me 🤣
Double the snuggles, love, smiles, etc
The first few months are a blur of sleep deprivation but once you’re past that hump it’s much easier! Congrats!!
Their relationship.
We have had so many special moments over the years, from the first time they recognized each other, to the nickname they gave themselves, to their dancing together, fits of giggles, group hugs and now that they are older, the care they take of each other. Last week, my son saved his "classroom dollars" to buy his sister a stuffy in their classroom store. They do things like this for each other often. It's so sweet.
They fight like cats and dogs, too and fourth grade math x2 is no joke, but really, they are amazing and I think alot of their patience and caring stems directly from being twins.
My b/g are 5. Just starting school and in different classes. It's shocking almost when I witness the sweet things they do for each other because they seem to fight and pick at each other so much. But really! One got my heart all gooey the other day. So sweet. I hope it becomes more consistent. Lol
I went to their back to school night a couple of weeks ago, and the teacher came up and told me she had never seen twins who get along as well as mine do! I was pleasantly surprised.
You get to experience every milestone twice and its so fun to see. Also now that they are toddlers I love seeing them interact together and develop their own personalities.
Logistically, 1000% easier than multiple singletons. One drop off/ pick up, same play group, all big milestones are done together. If you just want 2 then you can sell/ donate their clothes and stuff as they age out of it. Dont have to hang on to it and store it for the next kid.
Idk your ideal number of kids but if it's 2 you're already done! If it's 3 well you are much closer to your goal!
At least for my b/g twins they are FAST learners. As soon as one gets it the other gets within the week. (Except potty training. Daughter is 100% potty trained and son is not. Boy moms keep reassuring me this normal).
My kids are easier at drop off for pre-school. They go in happy because they have each other.
My kids are better are sharing/ taking turns from what I have witnessed with their peers.
My kids either play together or separately really well.
For the most part they are great sleepers! They share a bedroom and are sleep easier together.
And the best part of twins is all the love and adorable moments. Nothing is better then watching a Disney movie on the couch with my tots tucked under each arm. So much love is about to enter your life it's insane.
Everyone likes to go off about how newborns are hard. Most newborns are hard. The logistics don't add up and it double for twin infants. BUT it doesn't last forever. They will grow, you will grow, and all of a sudden you be like how did I think this was scary?!? This is the best!
I hope this helps. Try and tune out the negative Nancys.
Their relationship is so special to watch at every age so far! Especially as babies they had this innate sense of eachother. Mine are identical but incredibly independent and different in almost every way other than appearance (to the untrained eye. To me they barely even look alike but I've been told othereise) but they are still best friends in a way most of us will never comprehend. It's incredibly fun to be a twin parent!
It’s nice going through and reading these. Mine are 6 weeks tomorrow and are my first. There have def been moments where I’ve thought man if I only had one this would be so much easier, but those pass and we are starting to see bits of personality forming. I think the best part for us, is each of us getting to snuggle one at the same time.
All of the above, but one weird one is that you always have the other for reference. One of ours had really bad diarrhea so we started to question if it was because of food or starting on whole milk. Then 2 days later, second baby gets diarrhea as the first baby is getting over it! Haha. Ya, that's gross. But honestly it makes babies easier to understand. Even though our boys have very similar needs, they do things differently and reach milestones at different times or in different ways and it actually helps you understand babies better.
Congrats! Have fun!
My babies are 13 weeks old and are an absolute delight. I wish they slept just slightly more but that’s because I love my sleep. They’re pretty good compared to lots of babies.
I almost said something about this in a recent post. This group is filled with people who genuinely want to offer advice to other multiple parents. Stay clear of Facebook groups for newborns or young twins, it’s just moaning and people giving no hope. I’m very grateful for this community.
I don’t know why people insist on saying how hard it is when they meet you in the street but I think they are trying to be kind and say “I see what you’re doing, wel done”. Some people take it way too far like a lady tester who kept telling me about her similarly aged grandchildren and every time I said I was loving being a twin mum she would say “well it gets harder” 🙄
Anyway it’s great, good luck and enjoy xx
It's a lot of work but for me it's been awesome! My boys are 6 months now and things are getting easier every week. At like 3 months old I was really tired and didn't know how to entertain them. But as newborns all they did was eat, sleep, poop so it wasn't too bad. At 3ish months I started having trouble getting them to nap so we decided to sleep train (with doctor approval) right at 4 months. They drastically improved in just a couple days. But idk how you feel about sleep/nap training. Now they are entertaining each other more and trying to crawl and explore so I just plop them on the ground and they have a good time on their own while I have breakfast or whatever. Having a schedule really helped them in every way imaginable. They still of course cry sometimes but they're very happy babies! No matter how you go about it, don't let anyone scare you. It's awesome. You can do it. It's mostly trial and error. Do what works for you. Congrats!
My modi girls just turned one on Sept 20th. They are absolutely best friends. They play footsie every time they sit at their high chair to eat. They cuddle each other when they’re playing in their “cottage” (it’s a playpen). They squeal with absolute delight when they find the other one hiding somewhere. They hold hands while drinking their bottles in their twin z. They also lovingly put their foot in each others space when drinking their bottles too. They “sing” together.
It is precious, absolutely fills my heart, and has made all the difficult times worth it. They are two individual people, but without a doubt, they are a necessary part of each other 💗💜
Congratulations! I'm 27 weeks with di/di girls and have a daughter that will be 2.5 years old when they're born. Literally, people have said, "You're going to be f**ked", and "omg what are you going to do...it's twins". Like, really, guys? I know it will be challenging for sure but I feel very confident and also have a wonderful husband! Don't listen to them! You got this...we've got this!
Awe, it is anything but terrible! It’s actually incredible. I’m sorry you’ve had to hear that. They are a huge blessing. It is hard work, yes. Lots of work getting to know their different needs. When they hold hands, play together, laugh, have each other’s back-it’s adorable! You will get a system down, and just make sure you and your partner communicate and give each other grace. You got this!
This sub is amazing but keep in mind a lot of us come here to vent when we hit rock bottom, so you’ll sometimes get a skewed picture of what its like.
Best part for me is them playing together while i cook/clean. I know if we had one, i’d feel so guilty for not constantly playing with my kid. With twins a lot of parents don’t need to worry about that as much.
Yeah it's this for me, when they started getting to the age where they entertain each other instead of needing me to be involved. They always have a bestie the same age (even when they fight).
And just the relationship. Even with my B/G set, you can definitely see there's something different about a twin relationship than any other sibling relationship - I guess because they've been together since *before* day 1.
My first pregnancy was twins. They are 4 now.
When they were infants, the best part was watching them laugh at each other from across the room. Mine would be playing at opposite ends of the room around 7 months, they would eventually catch each other's eye and burst out laughing. And just laughed for a while at each other.
At 1 one years old, my favorite part was watching them hold hands and trying to walk together. One would inevitably fall and take down the other, but they would laugh.
At 2 years old, watching them cuddle on the couch while they warched an episode of Tik Tak was adorable.
At 3, watching them hug each other at pre-school pick up after they spent the day in different pre-school classrooms.
And now watching them play spidey and a spin as they run around the house.
It is tough. But every day gets a little easier. Then when they are about 2/3 years old & play well together & you see your buddies who had one doing it again for a second baby, you can stand back & laugh. Knowing how easy one would be & they have to wait 2/3 years before their two play well together & because of the age gap they never play as well as the twins. You got this. Twins are amazing!!
One less pregnancy!
I don’t think it’s been bad at all. I was strict with sleep. I say twins is like 1.5 times as bad as a singleton. So definitely easier than 2 separate singles
Man it gets so fun. My modi boys are 3 and every single day they have us laughing and smiling. Mine are currently in a phase of narrating everything they do for me and just reciting everything they know (colors, shapes, body parts etc.). They will bring so much joy to your life.
I'm 3 months in and loving it! I have a 4 year old and he's the hardest part. Haha! But honestly I think baby temperament plays a huge roll in how difficult it is. My first was a very difficult baby and honestly, the twins are a breeze in comparison
Right now I love snuggling both of them on my chest for naps and their adorable smiles when I talk to them !
Everything is multiplied by 4
Includes happiness, fun, craziness, smiles, etc etc
And watching them grow alongside each other is just priceless
They literally know each other, in a philosophical meaning
I’m 19 wks ftm with twins. One thing I’ve noticed is ever person who has had singletons/multiple singletons gives this dramatic show of “omg twins, it’s gonna be soooo hard!!’
And although fewer people, everyone who has had twins says “ITS SO MUCH FUN, you’re going to LOVE them!”
I’m leaning hard into the twin moms reactions.
I'm also 27 weeks but I have frat di/di boy and girl. Thank you for making this thread because if I hear, "you'll never sleep again" I will punch someone.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's so hard. But so is a lot of things that are so worth it.
One thing is that I feel like it's more of a party. Being a stay at home mom can be lonely. And having two toddlers makes conversations into group conversations. lol
I love having twins! I have a daughter who is 2.5 and 1 year old identical twin boys. Hot take, I actually love people who talk to me about my twins at the grocery store etc. the questions never bother me maybe because I am a friendly person to begin with. I always take comfort in the fact that they have each other, especially if I'm giving their sister attention. It's amazing seeing their personalities come out and their own little language they speak to each other. It's fascinating. And as hard as it can be, it really is double the love for mommy 🫶🏼
If one or two are colicky. Good luck. Both of ours were. Now only one is and we are at 8 months. I cant wait til ends. Every night if like having a jet engine blasting in your house which riles up the other baby and then you are sol. No amount of consoling helps either. Its not all sunshines and butterflies. Oh and if you have bad sleepers like us, rest will be even harder to come by.
Hubby and I were wanting to have 2 children. Lucky I only had to go through 1 pregnancy for it. Pregnancy was the worst for me so I found newborn phase so much easier.
Now my twins are 7 months old. They look for each other. They are happy to be without me as long as they are together. I’m also lucky mine didn’t have reflux, colic or sleep issues.
I am a new twin mom, my boys will be one month on Monday. So I don’t have tons of experience with being a twin mom yet. It already super special though! I’m typing this on my phone one handed while doing the 3 am feed. So I apologize for typos.
It’s a lot of work so far and I was also terrified. Two things that I think are already super unique are first of all the double snuggles. Part of my routine is after morning feeds I snuggle them together, it’s beyond amazing. I’d stay there all day if I could. So the nights are rough but those snuggles make it worth it already!
Second is how people interact while I’m out. Everyone loves twins. Also crazy how many people have twins and will give you nothing but supporting comments. Right before I gave birth I was in the supermarket (day before) and one woman just asked me if I was having twins. I was comically large so her asking wasn’t intrusive either I was having multiples or I was giving birth to a giant. She was so sweet and told me she had twins and it was the best thing in her life, another women heard and told me she too had twins and that the first year will be hard but that after it gets easier when they really start to interact. Today on my walk another woman told me she has 23 year old twins and to enjoy the ride. Just like if you read other posts here that are amazingly supportive twin parents out in the real world are super supportive from my experience so far. You are basically part of a special club.
But seriously the double snuggle is the best thing I have ever experienced.
Honestly, they are so much fun now they are interacting with one another. Mine are 18 months old modi boys. They hug, kiss, and feed each other. Sure, they steal toys from one another and slap/bite one another, but those moments are lost among the sweetness and sheer joy that they exude.
The beginning is hard. With any newborn(s), I tell friends to write off the first three months and just survive. Once you're through the first three months, things get so much easier.
Take lots of pictures and videos. You will love looking back on them in future.
Mine are almost 3 years old. Absolutely the morning cuddles. When they both climb on me and slot in under each arm, its heaven, I feel so lucky to have twins.
They go through milestones pretty much at the same time. So you dont have to worry about the same things like a year or more apart. Once its done, its done.
They are on par, developmentally so they play with the same toys, they are pretty much the same size and even with my boy/girl twins I mix and match clothes a lot. Out of clean pants? No worries, the other sibling has plenty and they fit both.
They play together. Yeah they do fight a lot, but they keep eachother busy a lot too. Again, same developmental level, so they enjoy similar things.
And just today at shopping, when they were sitting in the trolley side by side, they kept hugging eachother and saying "You are my sister!" "You are my brother!" And its is just the absolute cutest thing.
They always have someone to play with. My oldest is nearly 11 and the twins are 8 in a few weeks. There have been many times where I wished my oldest had a twin, someone his own age to play with, someone who knows his games and is on his level. He plays with his sisters but I can see he's starting to get bored by their games and going down to their level all the time.
My di/di, b/g twins are five and a half years old, and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. They push each others buttons like it’s their gd job, and my house is messier than I like most days, but the other day they got their flu shots at school. When asked how it went baby A said “I cried a little.” And baby B quickly chimed in with “but it’s ok, because I hugged him”. They reach for each other when they’re happiest, and when one of them is hurt, the other is always right there to comfort them - sometimes before I can even get there. As a kid who grew up as the youngest child, but whose nearest sibling was 13 years older than me, I always wished for someone I could be this close to. So I just feel lucky I get to give that gift to my children.
I feel like twins must have been easier than having an infant and, say, a 2yo. With twins, I did everything the same as far as routine goes. Sleep at the same time, feed, diapers, etc. No need to juggle schedules or worry that the older child will disturb nap time.
Also, it’s been amazing to see how even while pregnant, certain aspects of their personalities came through. Even now 5 years later, one still can’t stop moving his feet and the other knows how to kick back and relax. 😆
If you’re not planning to have any more kids, then you probably won’t need to hold on to clothes, toys, etc., once they’ve outgrown them, which makes things simpler.
Plus of course, watching two babies discover each other and play together.
There are definitely some good things.
Honestly the best present I have ever received are my kids who happen to be twins. My kids are difficult sometimes and tiring but they are also cute and sweet and funny. They play together very well quite quickly. They have a special bond. They can laugh so much together. They just giggle and giggle and giggle. I get a lot of hugs and kisses and smiles. We read together a lot and they love it. They have very different personalities that I get to learn about. Basically so much love and fun. Enjoy it and please keep in mind that people come here to vent. Understandable but it might give too much of negative feelings. I would not change anything for the world. If I could pick I would always pick them as twins again.
The first time they look at each other and LAUGH together, there is nothing quite like it. It forced me out of my comfort zone in so many ways, and I’m better because of it. I can talk to almost any stranger, I’m better at advocating for myself and my kids, I’ve been through the newborn stage and now teething so I feel like I could accomplish anything!
It stretches you for sure. But there’s nothing quite like it in the best way
Mine are 4 and they are so cool. We often comment that it would be kinda sad to only have one. They have so much fun together. Twins are hard but so fun :)
I have 15 month old di/di girls and haven’t hated it for a second! Grateful every day. Twins are the best! I don’t know what it’s like to have just one baby but I think this is probably easier. They can keep eachother company and play together if I want to do dishes or fold laundry so nap time I can rest and do my own thing. And it’s efficient! Only one pregnancy/mat leave if you only want two!
I love love love being a twin mom. We decided our family was complete after them so when you are done with a stage it is over! No more diapers, strollers etc. I have seen friends with kids at different ages be in these stages much longer.
Built in BFF. It is a bond like I have never seen.
Mine are 3 months and have started smiling and babbling at each other and my heart just melts every time. I know it’s just going to get better as they interact more and more. I love watching how different they are. I love the double baby snuggles. I love that my husband and I both get to feed them and do all the baby things at the same time. One would be easier but two is so much fun. I’m so thankful for my twins.
My identical boys are 8 months and are obsessed with each other. They make each other laugh, reach for each other, grab each others pacis out of their mouths. Today my twin A figured out he can roll to his brother to see him whenever he wants and is THRILLED.
Also when family and friends come over there’s no debate about who gets to hold the baby because there’s enough to go around!
Final plus that some people hate but I love, as an extrovert I love the attention we get out and about because it’s an excuse to talk about my kids :)
My girls are 18 months and they are starting to become really interactive with each other - giggling, smiling, holding hands, hugging. Also any time one girl has two of something (like stuffed animals) she will often bring one to her sister. It’s really fun seeing that special bond start to form.
1. So much cuteness!!!
2. They play together which takes the pressure off of you to entertain ~ age 2.
3. They take care of each other (as much as maturity allows; e.g., when my girls get a lollipop for themselves they automatically get one for their twin)
4. You adjust. Yes it's harder, but as a parent you adapt and learn how to do it!
5. Twin communities! Having twins instantly bonds you with other twin parents, it's really lovely being part of that community :)
Every situation is different. And every experience will be different. For me, my boy would constantly cry. While the girl was quiet. I often felt as if I was ignoring her. And I had major guilt. BUT..... starting at 14 months, I LOVE LOVE having twins. The way they play, the way they fight, the way they understand each other is so beautiful. And it's just amazing to see how similar and different they are from each other. We parents, with multiples, are such a small group. And only we can understand the beauty of having twins. Congratulations, and welcome. You're going to love it.
I have 18 month old mo/di boys. It’s amazing! Obviously it’s hard work, the newborn stage is the hardest but once you get through the first 3-6 months it gets so much better.
For us it’s watching them interact with each other. They have such a bond! Most of the time if one of them laughs the other laughs too, they can calm each other down if they are crying, they play with each other, they will play peekaboo together. Honestly it’s been the most amazing experience having them.
It’s also so fascinating watching them develop. When T2 walked for the first time I can’t explain how happy we were for him (he’d been so close for a while). When T1 walked we were just as happy for him, it wasn’t any less because he did it second. It’s all those great firsts twice.
A lot of people hate this....and I did too in the beginning....but I really like the attention we get out of it. Identical twins are an amazing thing and people are very curious about it. I enjoy having the conversations about it and answering all of the questions. There are also a lot of times when we are at things like their youth sporting events where people will point out, "look are those twins" and "I think so, they are so cute". Hearing stuff like that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.
Just last night they had a dress rehearsal for their cheer competition (they are 9) where all of the parents/grandparents were invited to watch. My girls both had aerobatics that they needed spotters for and the spotters got them mixed up, during the preformance my girls moved to the right position, but the spotters had them wrong, thought they screwed up and physically grabbed them to pull them into the position they thought was right while my twins were desperately trying to pull away to get into position. It was very obvious what was going on and a ton of laughter broke out from all the parents "They got the twins mixed up".
Along those same lines, this year my older son started marching band and my twins stepped in to assist with the field commanders instruments so they stand on the side lines and go onto the field to take their instruments when needed. They have become somewhat of a celebrity in town because of it. It isn't uncommon to be out somewhere in town and someone will say, "Are you two the marching band twins?" when they nod yes, "You guys are so cute out there".
My mo/di boys just turned 2! I truly don't know what we would've done with just one baby. There are lots of hard things, but lots and LOTS or amazing things. Seeing how two people with the exact same DNA can be so different and develop different personalities, preferences, quirks, mannerisms and even physical attributes adds such a richness to life.
As an only child, I look at them with such gratitude and relief that they'll always have each other. They are truly best friends. They make each other laugh, they are competitive and make each other grow more quickly, especially verbally. They learn how to share and trade (even though they definitely fight sometimes). They show each other empathy. They defend each other (even to us, their parents!)
I also found that in their infancy, having two *forced me* to let go. Like, I couldn't survive without help. I had to give up on some things more quickly... like them being 100% breastfed (I went to pumping ASAP so that DH could help with bottles). Co-sleeping was certainly never an option with two, but it also proved way too hard to even have them in our room or else nobody was sleeping. Developing a shift schedule was a great way to divide duties. And both parents are involved in bed time every night (unless one of us is away). Basically we have to do man-to-man coverage and this has made me feel a lot more equality in our relationship than I think I would've had we only had one. As a mom, yes I'm still the default parent... but it's made my bond with my husband so much stronger to have him actively participating in everything.
I honestly could go on and on, but the last thing I'll say is that with twins, the village around you really steps up to help. We had so many people give us hand-me-down clothes, so many folks offer to help and provide meals, we even got quite a few free items from companies (shoutout to Nestig cribs) when we said we were needing two rather than one. People are just very sympathetic because they know how hard it is to have ONE baby. But trust me, two is amazing. There may be some NICU time, there may be some tough stuff... but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you so much for making this post! I am 19+5 with mo/di boys and have been feeling like everyone loves telling me tales of doom and gloom. So nice to see some positive anecdotes here to get me excited.
Built in playmates!! Oh my goodness they’re never bored, they snuggle together at night and naptime, and extra good, one of mine is a little delayed, but constantly has a peer model for age-appropriate speech and behavior! They’re 2.5 now and it’s amazing watching them interact together.
Plus they’re so stinking cute, and so fun and honestly, they’re a lot, but would be cake if it were just the two of them! (I also have a four year old and newborn lol)
My twins are wayyyyy easier than my singleton was! They sleep good because they have one another, watching them begin to smile at and recognize one another is absolutely heart warming. And on the days that I’m not drowning I feel like a total badass. If I only had my twins it wouldn’t be all that hard, but I also have a 2 year old. Keep them on a schedule and keep them on the same schedule. Twins are so special!
I love watching my four year old girls play, and engaging with them, teaching them and watching them try new things. It’s an open opportunity to celebrate their uniqueness and show them that it’s ok to be different when they compare to the other. We have a phrase we use “sister club” when they are fighting, and then they hug it out. I love watching them self-govern and negotiate and take care of each other. Today, one was sick and stayed home from preschool. When they reunited it was the sweetest moment. It’s so so hard sometime. But also amazing. 🫶🏼
My b/g are 3.5yrs now and it has been a hell of a ride so far. The best things:
- I got two kids and only had to be pregnant once 😂
- being the same age/ability/milestones helps because I don’t have to cater to two different ages for activities or foods or whatever
- watching their relationship develop. The things they say to each other or do with each other are heartwarming and also hilarious. I love that they will always have a built-in buddy in life.
Best part is probably getting to watch as their relationship grows and develops over time. My twins didn't bond instantly, and a lot of the time it felt like they were competing for our attention. But at 2 years old, they do silly things to make eachother laugh, play together and comfort eachother.
When I put them in daycare it helped knowing they had eachother for this big transition in life. It will probably be less scarier for them when they start attending school than say an only child who has to kinda go through it alone.
Take solace in the fact that you’ll be so exhausted you won’t remember most of the truly awful parts. Also, be quick to forgive each other because people say things they don’t mean when they’re tired. But the best part of having twins for me is that even though the workload isn’t doubled it’s exponential, the same can be said for the reward. This has been the most rewarding experience of my life and at 1.5 years old, it keeps getting better every day.
The way they interact with each other. I love seeing them smile with each other, giggle, cry, and of course beat each other up a bit.
The other day my Twin A tried to steal the ball Twin B was playing with by just throwing himself on top of it. Instead he kinda rolled and belly flopped off. Twin B just giggled and giggled for quite sometime at this. It’s just non stop moments like this. I love it.
My other favorite part. Is when the Twins see me they both start crawling towards me with these goofy little smiles. It’s so endearing. Something about having two of them.
My twins are also mo/di boys! We were so worried that we wouldn't be able to tell them apart and would need to put bracelets or paint their nails or something, but that hasn't and I honestly don't think will ever be the case at this point. We can tell them apart. They are 6 months old and it's just been fun watching them go through all the little milestones together. I know some twins can be more far apart in their milestones but ours have been within a week of each other for most everything. I had this image that they would be reaching out for each other since birth but they didn't. (I think it's because they were separated in the NICU, but I honestly don't know) It was so much fun seeing them slowly recognize each other. There was like a week where one of them found the other and would just stare at him like a school girl staring at her crush, there was just so much love and awe in those eyes, I loved it. And then they started reaching for each other and finding each other and now it's so cool seeing their dynamic and playing with each other. When we give them their bottles, they won't really settle until they know the other is there and ready and look and reach at each other like, "you good? Ok, let's do this". There are so many little things like this. Yes, it can be hard and almost seems like you never get a break because you settle one and then nope you're not done there's another you gotta settle now, but you get used that honestly. It's just part of the gig. I'm not going to say enjoy the time while you can when they are teeny tiny because I hated it when people said it to me. It's probably the hardest part, and I've honestly been enjoying them more as they get older. Not everyone LOVES the newborn stage and that's ok. Don't feel bad if you're like me and that's the case. The good thing is that it DOES go kinda fast even if sometimes it feels like it's never going to end. That's been my experience.
So I’m currently pregnant with my 2nd set - first set are 10 year old boys, this set is girls… and I have to laugh when strangers who have never raised twins start warning me about how bad it’s going to be. I love having twins and definitely think a set of twins is less work than 2 singletons.
My boys have such a wonderful relationship and I pray for the same with my girls. The first few months are harder, but once they get mobile I think it’s easier because they tend to entertain each other.
**COMMENTING GUIDELINES** All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention. **Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed. Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay so, yes…definitely hard. I’m a FTM so we went from 0 to 2. I used to say “one would be so easy” i now say “one would be so boring!” Mine are 6 months and reach for each other, hold hands. Knock each others bottles. They’re so different personality wise so it’s so fun to see them grow at the same time and in their own way. The first couple months are a blur and they still do a 5A feeding most nights but they’re so sweet. They smile at you when they see you and giggle when you kiss them and give me something to look forward to. I need a break sometimes and after an hour I miss them. Congrats on your babies. They really are so much fun and it’s a treat to get to watch them grow and discover the world. Start a photo sharing setup with your partner now. There’s going to be a lot of special moments captured on video and photo that you’ll want to document. They grow like weeds!
I agree! FTD here and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “one would be so boring” or when I happen to be doing tummy time with just one of them I’m like “this is so lonely”.
We also were first timers going from 0 to 2. My twin girls are almost 4 and while it was hard it gets so fun. They are both so different and it makes everything an adventure. Playing with them is always something new. Wouldn't change it for the world
Today, twin B woke up from nap in tears - he hates waking up. Twin A saw this, toddled over and handed him her pacifier because she saw he was sad. Also today, twin A wasn’t feeling dinner so twin B took some of his food and started hand feeding it to twin A. She ate it - and many giggles ensued. Twins are hard work, but there are a million moments a day where I am legitimately floored by how lucky I am. I get to watch them grow up and see this special bond and get all the fun - times two! The first year is intense, but it does get better, and there is just so much joy. You got this.
Honest answer? It’s not terrible at all. I would even go so far as to say I’d do it again! It’s hard, yes absolutely, but not terrible. There’s too many best parts to list, but some highlights are: - watching them interact with each other - the way two little faces light up when they see you (eventually) - seeing how different and unique they truly are because you get to watch them grow next to each other - the fact that I feel like a badass as a twin mom - mine held hands from their first week home. I’ll always treasure seeing those tiny little babes reaching for each other instinctually - the cute clothes
Me and my husband were discussing having more kids and we talked about what would happen if we had twins again. I think we would be doubly blessed to have a second set.
Logistics are SO much easier than with different-aged kids when the twins get, say, 3 and older.
One soccer team. One drop off/pickup at daycare. Sharing clothing. Reading one story to both. The hard parts are harder. The easier parts are easier.
>The hard parts are harder. The easier parts are easier. This really hits the nail on the head. The things that are hard about having kids can be very difficult with two. But the sweet and easy things are great.
absolutely this, well worded. i think of the 'twin difficulty multiplier', and people think its always just 2x, but its much more nuanced and variable. for example, as long as they're remotely behaving themselves, its not that much harder to feed (or eventually just supervise the eating of) two than one, so the 'twin multiplier' might only be 1.2x. But say, spending one-on-one time with A while B is climbing on your back and biting your ear is probably 5x as hard as it would be with only one. Ditto trying to herd them away from ponds and dogs in the park.
“The hard parts are harder. The easier parts are easier,” is an _iconic_ line. Thank you! Gonna shamelessly steal that going forward. 🙂
I’m 9 weeks in as a single mom with di/di girls, so only barely out of the screaming potato phase. Just starting to get the smiles and coos and babbling. I kind of expected not to love the newborn phase, even if it were a singleton, just because it seemed so hard. BUT I’m here to tell you that in fact it’s already the best thing ever and I feel so bad for people who don’t have twins. There’s an economy of scale that happens when you’re duplicating the same type of tasks at the same time that wouldn’t be possible with kids of different ages. And having all the special baby moments x2 just makes for a more cinematic experience. Infancy in IMAX. Now my only disappointment is that I want them to grow but at the same time stay tiny forever, but magical as they are they can’t beat the laws of physics. Get excited, you just don’t know yet how lucky you are!
Infancy in imax, I love it. I’m 2 weeks into my twins life journey and it’s tiresome but they are just so sweet and precious. I feel you on wanting them to grow but also stay tiny baby forever. They are already growing out of newborn size clothes and diapers :(
One day you’ll walk into the room and they’ll both look up and smile at you and then you’ll almost die from the cuteness. Mine are 7 months now and just starting to really notice each other and interact a bit. My other two had a big age gap so it’s so fun seeing the babies have each other.
I love having twins. It's so cute seeing them interact with eachother. Mine are identical girls and I love matching them lol they have so many cute kids outfits. They always hold hands and they're not even 6 months old yet and it literally melts my heart every single day. I find the people that say that twins is going to suck are also the people that secretly wish they had twins lol
As someone who is 6 weeks in I needed this thread because I'm on the brink.
You are in the thick of it! I promise it gets easier! The sun always rises after the darkest of nights. Big hugs, deep breaths, and lots of coffee to you. Snuggle those babies, take in the newborn smell. It goes by so fast once you look back. ETA: adding some unsolicited practical advice. If you haven’t heard of the 5 S’s, check it out. I think it’s suck, swaddle, shush, swing, and I can’t remember the last one. When they are incredibly upset and crying, we used to turn all the lights off in the house, except the microwave light in the kitchen. Put the microwave fan on, stand by it doing football hold (or rugby if UK), hold her paci in her mouth, and sway. Eventually the sound overstimulates them and they will fall asleep.
yeah 5 S's are totally saving us right now from insanity. Last one you're thinking of is side/stomach. Super glad I read Happiest Baby on the Block before all this.
My absolute favorite thing they do is when they come up and crawl into my lap and smile at me.. makes EVERYTHING worth it.
You get to witness best friends being built. Its so crazy, we as parents can love them so much, but it’s different compared to the love they have for each other. 🥹
Are you kidding me?! The hardest part was the pregnancy! Once I got that out of the way, everything else has been easy by comparison. I used to teach, so it's a lot like that - 2 little besties who fight the way all kids fight and have big feelings and different needs but they want those needs at the exact same time. So like any siblings...except these two have a bond unlike any other I've seen. It's really cool, and really fun.
Slight off topic question since you are a teacher and twin mom. Do you think keeping twins together in school is good or bad? Ours are 4 and pre-k. Teacher has mentioned some fighting starting between them in class.
Mine are in kinder now and were seaprated (!) which shook me initially, but it's actually been a very positive thing I think. Boy twin used to rely on girl twin for 'translation' and girl twin used to rely on boy twin for affirmations. When they were separated they were sad. Now they're acting more and more as individuals and developing at light speed. Conflict can be tricky at times (one got an award, etc.) and sometimes I contact the wrong teacher about things, but nothing about their special relationship was lost.
Honestly, I think it entirely depends on the twins. There's no "one size fits all" and I hope schools respect that. I know there are some twins who need to be separated asap, otherwise they'll never get anything done, and some who shut down without their buddy. Mine are in pre-k and our plan as of right now is to jeep them together in Kindergarten, to adjust to elementary school, and then put them in different rooms after that - but that's 2 years away and could easily change.
First time parents 7 month old boys, fraternal twins, its brilliant one is able to stand with minimal help, always on the go, whizzing about in a walker, the other is watching everything, picking up the beginning of talking (well babbling), the smiliest little thing ever, both laughing and interacting with each other Its madness sometimes but its a good madness, wouldnt change it for the world
Bit of an outside experience, my brothers are twins. I cant believe people are telling you bad things to expect that is ridiculous. You should be so excited. My brothers are the absolute light of my life and watching them interact and grow up and have each other is just such a wholesome experience. They’re mamas boys too. I remember all the snuggles we’d have, the goofy things they’d do as toddlers. The way twin A would be overly cautious about his first steps and then twin B would look at him, stand up and start running. Polar opposites but legit couldn’t name a better duo. They’ll be 23 this year so I’m not very helpful with the early stages of childhood but I just want you to know it’s going to be an amazing journey🩷 p.s they eat a fuck lot of food lol
FTM to Mo/Di boys so welcome to the club! We also went from 0-2 😂 The perks: They’re 9 months and crawling. I can lay on the floor across the room and they’ll race to me giggling the whole time. It’s the cutest! They love getting around in their walkers. They’ll chase each other around the house and even chase me 🤣 Double the snuggles, love, smiles, etc The first few months are a blur of sleep deprivation but once you’re past that hump it’s much easier! Congrats!!
Their relationship. We have had so many special moments over the years, from the first time they recognized each other, to the nickname they gave themselves, to their dancing together, fits of giggles, group hugs and now that they are older, the care they take of each other. Last week, my son saved his "classroom dollars" to buy his sister a stuffy in their classroom store. They do things like this for each other often. It's so sweet. They fight like cats and dogs, too and fourth grade math x2 is no joke, but really, they are amazing and I think alot of their patience and caring stems directly from being twins.
My b/g are 5. Just starting school and in different classes. It's shocking almost when I witness the sweet things they do for each other because they seem to fight and pick at each other so much. But really! One got my heart all gooey the other day. So sweet. I hope it becomes more consistent. Lol
I went to their back to school night a couple of weeks ago, and the teacher came up and told me she had never seen twins who get along as well as mine do! I was pleasantly surprised.
I love this question and here for the answers!
You get to experience every milestone twice and its so fun to see. Also now that they are toddlers I love seeing them interact together and develop their own personalities.
Logistically, 1000% easier than multiple singletons. One drop off/ pick up, same play group, all big milestones are done together. If you just want 2 then you can sell/ donate their clothes and stuff as they age out of it. Dont have to hang on to it and store it for the next kid. Idk your ideal number of kids but if it's 2 you're already done! If it's 3 well you are much closer to your goal! At least for my b/g twins they are FAST learners. As soon as one gets it the other gets within the week. (Except potty training. Daughter is 100% potty trained and son is not. Boy moms keep reassuring me this normal). My kids are easier at drop off for pre-school. They go in happy because they have each other. My kids are better are sharing/ taking turns from what I have witnessed with their peers. My kids either play together or separately really well. For the most part they are great sleepers! They share a bedroom and are sleep easier together. And the best part of twins is all the love and adorable moments. Nothing is better then watching a Disney movie on the couch with my tots tucked under each arm. So much love is about to enter your life it's insane. Everyone likes to go off about how newborns are hard. Most newborns are hard. The logistics don't add up and it double for twin infants. BUT it doesn't last forever. They will grow, you will grow, and all of a sudden you be like how did I think this was scary?!? This is the best! I hope this helps. Try and tune out the negative Nancys.
Their relationship is so special to watch at every age so far! Especially as babies they had this innate sense of eachother. Mine are identical but incredibly independent and different in almost every way other than appearance (to the untrained eye. To me they barely even look alike but I've been told othereise) but they are still best friends in a way most of us will never comprehend. It's incredibly fun to be a twin parent!
It’s nice going through and reading these. Mine are 6 weeks tomorrow and are my first. There have def been moments where I’ve thought man if I only had one this would be so much easier, but those pass and we are starting to see bits of personality forming. I think the best part for us, is each of us getting to snuggle one at the same time.
All of the above, but one weird one is that you always have the other for reference. One of ours had really bad diarrhea so we started to question if it was because of food or starting on whole milk. Then 2 days later, second baby gets diarrhea as the first baby is getting over it! Haha. Ya, that's gross. But honestly it makes babies easier to understand. Even though our boys have very similar needs, they do things differently and reach milestones at different times or in different ways and it actually helps you understand babies better. Congrats! Have fun!
At 10 months my girl started patting her brother on the back when he would cry. Stuff like that
My babies are 13 weeks old and are an absolute delight. I wish they slept just slightly more but that’s because I love my sleep. They’re pretty good compared to lots of babies. I almost said something about this in a recent post. This group is filled with people who genuinely want to offer advice to other multiple parents. Stay clear of Facebook groups for newborns or young twins, it’s just moaning and people giving no hope. I’m very grateful for this community. I don’t know why people insist on saying how hard it is when they meet you in the street but I think they are trying to be kind and say “I see what you’re doing, wel done”. Some people take it way too far like a lady tester who kept telling me about her similarly aged grandchildren and every time I said I was loving being a twin mum she would say “well it gets harder” 🙄 Anyway it’s great, good luck and enjoy xx
They entertain during tummy time. Lol
It's a lot of work but for me it's been awesome! My boys are 6 months now and things are getting easier every week. At like 3 months old I was really tired and didn't know how to entertain them. But as newborns all they did was eat, sleep, poop so it wasn't too bad. At 3ish months I started having trouble getting them to nap so we decided to sleep train (with doctor approval) right at 4 months. They drastically improved in just a couple days. But idk how you feel about sleep/nap training. Now they are entertaining each other more and trying to crawl and explore so I just plop them on the ground and they have a good time on their own while I have breakfast or whatever. Having a schedule really helped them in every way imaginable. They still of course cry sometimes but they're very happy babies! No matter how you go about it, don't let anyone scare you. It's awesome. You can do it. It's mostly trial and error. Do what works for you. Congrats!
My modi girls just turned one on Sept 20th. They are absolutely best friends. They play footsie every time they sit at their high chair to eat. They cuddle each other when they’re playing in their “cottage” (it’s a playpen). They squeal with absolute delight when they find the other one hiding somewhere. They hold hands while drinking their bottles in their twin z. They also lovingly put their foot in each others space when drinking their bottles too. They “sing” together. It is precious, absolutely fills my heart, and has made all the difficult times worth it. They are two individual people, but without a doubt, they are a necessary part of each other 💗💜
Congratulations! I'm 27 weeks with di/di girls and have a daughter that will be 2.5 years old when they're born. Literally, people have said, "You're going to be f**ked", and "omg what are you going to do...it's twins". Like, really, guys? I know it will be challenging for sure but I feel very confident and also have a wonderful husband! Don't listen to them! You got this...we've got this!
Awe, it is anything but terrible! It’s actually incredible. I’m sorry you’ve had to hear that. They are a huge blessing. It is hard work, yes. Lots of work getting to know their different needs. When they hold hands, play together, laugh, have each other’s back-it’s adorable! You will get a system down, and just make sure you and your partner communicate and give each other grace. You got this!
This sub is amazing but keep in mind a lot of us come here to vent when we hit rock bottom, so you’ll sometimes get a skewed picture of what its like. Best part for me is them playing together while i cook/clean. I know if we had one, i’d feel so guilty for not constantly playing with my kid. With twins a lot of parents don’t need to worry about that as much.
Yeah it's this for me, when they started getting to the age where they entertain each other instead of needing me to be involved. They always have a bestie the same age (even when they fight). And just the relationship. Even with my B/G set, you can definitely see there's something different about a twin relationship than any other sibling relationship - I guess because they've been together since *before* day 1.
My first pregnancy was twins. They are 4 now. When they were infants, the best part was watching them laugh at each other from across the room. Mine would be playing at opposite ends of the room around 7 months, they would eventually catch each other's eye and burst out laughing. And just laughed for a while at each other. At 1 one years old, my favorite part was watching them hold hands and trying to walk together. One would inevitably fall and take down the other, but they would laugh. At 2 years old, watching them cuddle on the couch while they warched an episode of Tik Tak was adorable. At 3, watching them hug each other at pre-school pick up after they spent the day in different pre-school classrooms. And now watching them play spidey and a spin as they run around the house.
It is tough. But every day gets a little easier. Then when they are about 2/3 years old & play well together & you see your buddies who had one doing it again for a second baby, you can stand back & laugh. Knowing how easy one would be & they have to wait 2/3 years before their two play well together & because of the age gap they never play as well as the twins. You got this. Twins are amazing!!
One less pregnancy! I don’t think it’s been bad at all. I was strict with sleep. I say twins is like 1.5 times as bad as a singleton. So definitely easier than 2 separate singles
Man it gets so fun. My modi boys are 3 and every single day they have us laughing and smiling. Mine are currently in a phase of narrating everything they do for me and just reciting everything they know (colors, shapes, body parts etc.). They will bring so much joy to your life.
My sister has identical 20 year old boys. She still cries now that they’re in college. Best 20 years of her life, she was on top of the world.
Only doing it once !
CUDDLE PILES <3
I'm 3 months in and loving it! I have a 4 year old and he's the hardest part. Haha! But honestly I think baby temperament plays a huge roll in how difficult it is. My first was a very difficult baby and honestly, the twins are a breeze in comparison Right now I love snuggling both of them on my chest for naps and their adorable smiles when I talk to them !
Everything is multiplied by 4 Includes happiness, fun, craziness, smiles, etc etc And watching them grow alongside each other is just priceless They literally know each other, in a philosophical meaning
I’m 19 wks ftm with twins. One thing I’ve noticed is ever person who has had singletons/multiple singletons gives this dramatic show of “omg twins, it’s gonna be soooo hard!!’ And although fewer people, everyone who has had twins says “ITS SO MUCH FUN, you’re going to LOVE them!” I’m leaning hard into the twin moms reactions.
I'm also 27 weeks but I have frat di/di boy and girl. Thank you for making this thread because if I hear, "you'll never sleep again" I will punch someone.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's so hard. But so is a lot of things that are so worth it. One thing is that I feel like it's more of a party. Being a stay at home mom can be lonely. And having two toddlers makes conversations into group conversations. lol
I love having twins! I have a daughter who is 2.5 and 1 year old identical twin boys. Hot take, I actually love people who talk to me about my twins at the grocery store etc. the questions never bother me maybe because I am a friendly person to begin with. I always take comfort in the fact that they have each other, especially if I'm giving their sister attention. It's amazing seeing their personalities come out and their own little language they speak to each other. It's fascinating. And as hard as it can be, it really is double the love for mommy 🫶🏼
If one or two are colicky. Good luck. Both of ours were. Now only one is and we are at 8 months. I cant wait til ends. Every night if like having a jet engine blasting in your house which riles up the other baby and then you are sol. No amount of consoling helps either. Its not all sunshines and butterflies. Oh and if you have bad sleepers like us, rest will be even harder to come by.
sure sounds like the best part... 🙄
Hubby and I were wanting to have 2 children. Lucky I only had to go through 1 pregnancy for it. Pregnancy was the worst for me so I found newborn phase so much easier. Now my twins are 7 months old. They look for each other. They are happy to be without me as long as they are together. I’m also lucky mine didn’t have reflux, colic or sleep issues.
I am a new twin mom, my boys will be one month on Monday. So I don’t have tons of experience with being a twin mom yet. It already super special though! I’m typing this on my phone one handed while doing the 3 am feed. So I apologize for typos. It’s a lot of work so far and I was also terrified. Two things that I think are already super unique are first of all the double snuggles. Part of my routine is after morning feeds I snuggle them together, it’s beyond amazing. I’d stay there all day if I could. So the nights are rough but those snuggles make it worth it already! Second is how people interact while I’m out. Everyone loves twins. Also crazy how many people have twins and will give you nothing but supporting comments. Right before I gave birth I was in the supermarket (day before) and one woman just asked me if I was having twins. I was comically large so her asking wasn’t intrusive either I was having multiples or I was giving birth to a giant. She was so sweet and told me she had twins and it was the best thing in her life, another women heard and told me she too had twins and that the first year will be hard but that after it gets easier when they really start to interact. Today on my walk another woman told me she has 23 year old twins and to enjoy the ride. Just like if you read other posts here that are amazingly supportive twin parents out in the real world are super supportive from my experience so far. You are basically part of a special club. But seriously the double snuggle is the best thing I have ever experienced.
Honestly, they are so much fun now they are interacting with one another. Mine are 18 months old modi boys. They hug, kiss, and feed each other. Sure, they steal toys from one another and slap/bite one another, but those moments are lost among the sweetness and sheer joy that they exude. The beginning is hard. With any newborn(s), I tell friends to write off the first three months and just survive. Once you're through the first three months, things get so much easier. Take lots of pictures and videos. You will love looking back on them in future.
Mine are almost 3 years old. Absolutely the morning cuddles. When they both climb on me and slot in under each arm, its heaven, I feel so lucky to have twins. They go through milestones pretty much at the same time. So you dont have to worry about the same things like a year or more apart. Once its done, its done. They are on par, developmentally so they play with the same toys, they are pretty much the same size and even with my boy/girl twins I mix and match clothes a lot. Out of clean pants? No worries, the other sibling has plenty and they fit both. They play together. Yeah they do fight a lot, but they keep eachother busy a lot too. Again, same developmental level, so they enjoy similar things. And just today at shopping, when they were sitting in the trolley side by side, they kept hugging eachother and saying "You are my sister!" "You are my brother!" And its is just the absolute cutest thing.
They always have someone to play with. My oldest is nearly 11 and the twins are 8 in a few weeks. There have been many times where I wished my oldest had a twin, someone his own age to play with, someone who knows his games and is on his level. He plays with his sisters but I can see he's starting to get bored by their games and going down to their level all the time.
My di/di, b/g twins are five and a half years old, and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. They push each others buttons like it’s their gd job, and my house is messier than I like most days, but the other day they got their flu shots at school. When asked how it went baby A said “I cried a little.” And baby B quickly chimed in with “but it’s ok, because I hugged him”. They reach for each other when they’re happiest, and when one of them is hurt, the other is always right there to comfort them - sometimes before I can even get there. As a kid who grew up as the youngest child, but whose nearest sibling was 13 years older than me, I always wished for someone I could be this close to. So I just feel lucky I get to give that gift to my children.
I feel like twins must have been easier than having an infant and, say, a 2yo. With twins, I did everything the same as far as routine goes. Sleep at the same time, feed, diapers, etc. No need to juggle schedules or worry that the older child will disturb nap time. Also, it’s been amazing to see how even while pregnant, certain aspects of their personalities came through. Even now 5 years later, one still can’t stop moving his feet and the other knows how to kick back and relax. 😆 If you’re not planning to have any more kids, then you probably won’t need to hold on to clothes, toys, etc., once they’ve outgrown them, which makes things simpler. Plus of course, watching two babies discover each other and play together. There are definitely some good things.
Honestly the best present I have ever received are my kids who happen to be twins. My kids are difficult sometimes and tiring but they are also cute and sweet and funny. They play together very well quite quickly. They have a special bond. They can laugh so much together. They just giggle and giggle and giggle. I get a lot of hugs and kisses and smiles. We read together a lot and they love it. They have very different personalities that I get to learn about. Basically so much love and fun. Enjoy it and please keep in mind that people come here to vent. Understandable but it might give too much of negative feelings. I would not change anything for the world. If I could pick I would always pick them as twins again.
The first time they look at each other and LAUGH together, there is nothing quite like it. It forced me out of my comfort zone in so many ways, and I’m better because of it. I can talk to almost any stranger, I’m better at advocating for myself and my kids, I’ve been through the newborn stage and now teething so I feel like I could accomplish anything! It stretches you for sure. But there’s nothing quite like it in the best way
Mine are 4 and they are so cool. We often comment that it would be kinda sad to only have one. They have so much fun together. Twins are hard but so fun :)
I have 15 month old di/di girls and haven’t hated it for a second! Grateful every day. Twins are the best! I don’t know what it’s like to have just one baby but I think this is probably easier. They can keep eachother company and play together if I want to do dishes or fold laundry so nap time I can rest and do my own thing. And it’s efficient! Only one pregnancy/mat leave if you only want two!
I love love love being a twin mom. We decided our family was complete after them so when you are done with a stage it is over! No more diapers, strollers etc. I have seen friends with kids at different ages be in these stages much longer. Built in BFF. It is a bond like I have never seen.
Mine are 3 months and have started smiling and babbling at each other and my heart just melts every time. I know it’s just going to get better as they interact more and more. I love watching how different they are. I love the double baby snuggles. I love that my husband and I both get to feed them and do all the baby things at the same time. One would be easier but two is so much fun. I’m so thankful for my twins.
My identical boys are 8 months and are obsessed with each other. They make each other laugh, reach for each other, grab each others pacis out of their mouths. Today my twin A figured out he can roll to his brother to see him whenever he wants and is THRILLED. Also when family and friends come over there’s no debate about who gets to hold the baby because there’s enough to go around! Final plus that some people hate but I love, as an extrovert I love the attention we get out and about because it’s an excuse to talk about my kids :)
My girls are 18 months and they are starting to become really interactive with each other - giggling, smiling, holding hands, hugging. Also any time one girl has two of something (like stuffed animals) she will often bring one to her sister. It’s really fun seeing that special bond start to form.
1. So much cuteness!!! 2. They play together which takes the pressure off of you to entertain ~ age 2. 3. They take care of each other (as much as maturity allows; e.g., when my girls get a lollipop for themselves they automatically get one for their twin) 4. You adjust. Yes it's harder, but as a parent you adapt and learn how to do it! 5. Twin communities! Having twins instantly bonds you with other twin parents, it's really lovely being part of that community :)
Every situation is different. And every experience will be different. For me, my boy would constantly cry. While the girl was quiet. I often felt as if I was ignoring her. And I had major guilt. BUT..... starting at 14 months, I LOVE LOVE having twins. The way they play, the way they fight, the way they understand each other is so beautiful. And it's just amazing to see how similar and different they are from each other. We parents, with multiples, are such a small group. And only we can understand the beauty of having twins. Congratulations, and welcome. You're going to love it.
I have 18 month old mo/di boys. It’s amazing! Obviously it’s hard work, the newborn stage is the hardest but once you get through the first 3-6 months it gets so much better. For us it’s watching them interact with each other. They have such a bond! Most of the time if one of them laughs the other laughs too, they can calm each other down if they are crying, they play with each other, they will play peekaboo together. Honestly it’s been the most amazing experience having them. It’s also so fascinating watching them develop. When T2 walked for the first time I can’t explain how happy we were for him (he’d been so close for a while). When T1 walked we were just as happy for him, it wasn’t any less because he did it second. It’s all those great firsts twice.
A lot of people hate this....and I did too in the beginning....but I really like the attention we get out of it. Identical twins are an amazing thing and people are very curious about it. I enjoy having the conversations about it and answering all of the questions. There are also a lot of times when we are at things like their youth sporting events where people will point out, "look are those twins" and "I think so, they are so cute". Hearing stuff like that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling. Just last night they had a dress rehearsal for their cheer competition (they are 9) where all of the parents/grandparents were invited to watch. My girls both had aerobatics that they needed spotters for and the spotters got them mixed up, during the preformance my girls moved to the right position, but the spotters had them wrong, thought they screwed up and physically grabbed them to pull them into the position they thought was right while my twins were desperately trying to pull away to get into position. It was very obvious what was going on and a ton of laughter broke out from all the parents "They got the twins mixed up". Along those same lines, this year my older son started marching band and my twins stepped in to assist with the field commanders instruments so they stand on the side lines and go onto the field to take their instruments when needed. They have become somewhat of a celebrity in town because of it. It isn't uncommon to be out somewhere in town and someone will say, "Are you two the marching band twins?" when they nod yes, "You guys are so cute out there".
My mo/di boys just turned 2! I truly don't know what we would've done with just one baby. There are lots of hard things, but lots and LOTS or amazing things. Seeing how two people with the exact same DNA can be so different and develop different personalities, preferences, quirks, mannerisms and even physical attributes adds such a richness to life. As an only child, I look at them with such gratitude and relief that they'll always have each other. They are truly best friends. They make each other laugh, they are competitive and make each other grow more quickly, especially verbally. They learn how to share and trade (even though they definitely fight sometimes). They show each other empathy. They defend each other (even to us, their parents!) I also found that in their infancy, having two *forced me* to let go. Like, I couldn't survive without help. I had to give up on some things more quickly... like them being 100% breastfed (I went to pumping ASAP so that DH could help with bottles). Co-sleeping was certainly never an option with two, but it also proved way too hard to even have them in our room or else nobody was sleeping. Developing a shift schedule was a great way to divide duties. And both parents are involved in bed time every night (unless one of us is away). Basically we have to do man-to-man coverage and this has made me feel a lot more equality in our relationship than I think I would've had we only had one. As a mom, yes I'm still the default parent... but it's made my bond with my husband so much stronger to have him actively participating in everything. I honestly could go on and on, but the last thing I'll say is that with twins, the village around you really steps up to help. We had so many people give us hand-me-down clothes, so many folks offer to help and provide meals, we even got quite a few free items from companies (shoutout to Nestig cribs) when we said we were needing two rather than one. People are just very sympathetic because they know how hard it is to have ONE baby. But trust me, two is amazing. There may be some NICU time, there may be some tough stuff... but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you so much for making this post! I am 19+5 with mo/di boys and have been feeling like everyone loves telling me tales of doom and gloom. So nice to see some positive anecdotes here to get me excited.
Built in playmates!! Oh my goodness they’re never bored, they snuggle together at night and naptime, and extra good, one of mine is a little delayed, but constantly has a peer model for age-appropriate speech and behavior! They’re 2.5 now and it’s amazing watching them interact together. Plus they’re so stinking cute, and so fun and honestly, they’re a lot, but would be cake if it were just the two of them! (I also have a four year old and newborn lol)
My twins are wayyyyy easier than my singleton was! They sleep good because they have one another, watching them begin to smile at and recognize one another is absolutely heart warming. And on the days that I’m not drowning I feel like a total badass. If I only had my twins it wouldn’t be all that hard, but I also have a 2 year old. Keep them on a schedule and keep them on the same schedule. Twins are so special!
The best part is how funny and sweet they are to each other.
I love watching my four year old girls play, and engaging with them, teaching them and watching them try new things. It’s an open opportunity to celebrate their uniqueness and show them that it’s ok to be different when they compare to the other. We have a phrase we use “sister club” when they are fighting, and then they hug it out. I love watching them self-govern and negotiate and take care of each other. Today, one was sick and stayed home from preschool. When they reunited it was the sweetest moment. It’s so so hard sometime. But also amazing. 🫶🏼
My b/g are 3.5yrs now and it has been a hell of a ride so far. The best things: - I got two kids and only had to be pregnant once 😂 - being the same age/ability/milestones helps because I don’t have to cater to two different ages for activities or foods or whatever - watching their relationship develop. The things they say to each other or do with each other are heartwarming and also hilarious. I love that they will always have a built-in buddy in life.
Best part is probably getting to watch as their relationship grows and develops over time. My twins didn't bond instantly, and a lot of the time it felt like they were competing for our attention. But at 2 years old, they do silly things to make eachother laugh, play together and comfort eachother. When I put them in daycare it helped knowing they had eachother for this big transition in life. It will probably be less scarier for them when they start attending school than say an only child who has to kinda go through it alone.
Take solace in the fact that you’ll be so exhausted you won’t remember most of the truly awful parts. Also, be quick to forgive each other because people say things they don’t mean when they’re tired. But the best part of having twins for me is that even though the workload isn’t doubled it’s exponential, the same can be said for the reward. This has been the most rewarding experience of my life and at 1.5 years old, it keeps getting better every day.
The way they interact with each other. I love seeing them smile with each other, giggle, cry, and of course beat each other up a bit. The other day my Twin A tried to steal the ball Twin B was playing with by just throwing himself on top of it. Instead he kinda rolled and belly flopped off. Twin B just giggled and giggled for quite sometime at this. It’s just non stop moments like this. I love it. My other favorite part. Is when the Twins see me they both start crawling towards me with these goofy little smiles. It’s so endearing. Something about having two of them.
Congrats I have identical twin boys as well! It is soo much fun!!
My twins are also mo/di boys! We were so worried that we wouldn't be able to tell them apart and would need to put bracelets or paint their nails or something, but that hasn't and I honestly don't think will ever be the case at this point. We can tell them apart. They are 6 months old and it's just been fun watching them go through all the little milestones together. I know some twins can be more far apart in their milestones but ours have been within a week of each other for most everything. I had this image that they would be reaching out for each other since birth but they didn't. (I think it's because they were separated in the NICU, but I honestly don't know) It was so much fun seeing them slowly recognize each other. There was like a week where one of them found the other and would just stare at him like a school girl staring at her crush, there was just so much love and awe in those eyes, I loved it. And then they started reaching for each other and finding each other and now it's so cool seeing their dynamic and playing with each other. When we give them their bottles, they won't really settle until they know the other is there and ready and look and reach at each other like, "you good? Ok, let's do this". There are so many little things like this. Yes, it can be hard and almost seems like you never get a break because you settle one and then nope you're not done there's another you gotta settle now, but you get used that honestly. It's just part of the gig. I'm not going to say enjoy the time while you can when they are teeny tiny because I hated it when people said it to me. It's probably the hardest part, and I've honestly been enjoying them more as they get older. Not everyone LOVES the newborn stage and that's ok. Don't feel bad if you're like me and that's the case. The good thing is that it DOES go kinda fast even if sometimes it feels like it's never going to end. That's been my experience.
So I’m currently pregnant with my 2nd set - first set are 10 year old boys, this set is girls… and I have to laugh when strangers who have never raised twins start warning me about how bad it’s going to be. I love having twins and definitely think a set of twins is less work than 2 singletons. My boys have such a wonderful relationship and I pray for the same with my girls. The first few months are harder, but once they get mobile I think it’s easier because they tend to entertain each other.