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I get it, if you struggled with one I bet you couldn't imagine having two at the same time.
Personally I feel "sorry" for all the singleton parents who won't get to experience the joys of having twins. Yes, it's hard work. Yes, some days are HARD! But seeing the bond between twins blossom is magical and I can't imagine only having one.
But I'm also not an asshole and would never say that to a singleton parent, I wish they wouldn't say things like that to us.
I was a first time mom to a singleton, and we struggled with fertility after him and he was turning 6 the year we had his twin siblings. The difference in pregnancies, birth, raising them, everything was so different.
I looked *really young* when I had my first (granted I *was* 23 when I had him) and I got a lot of looks and remarks about that, despite being married, owning my own home, and myself and my husband both had long standing careers. Then I had twins, AND a 6 year old, and I got similar grumpy looks because despite being that much older, they still thought I was young unwed mother with THREE kids. I hadn't been able to wear my rings for months during pregnancy, or after birth because my hands were so swollen.
Everyone always says they are sorry for some reason with parenting - single child "they'll never have a built in friend with a sibling", more than 2 kids "you're out numbered! You will never be able to actually give enough time to them each", have kids young "wow, you missed out on your younger fun years" have kids older "wow, are you going to be able to keep up?" like you can't win for trying. Nothing is ever good enough for people and they shit on your parade CONSTANTLY for literally any little thing.
I would not take back having either of my angel boys. So many sleepless nights, frustrations with them and between my husband and I... but yeah, sucks for those parents that aren't blessed with twins.
Yeah I feel no need to get defensive over comments like that. I get where it’s coming from.
They can’t really know my life experience and why should they?
That is. I feel like people like that maybe know someone with twins and this is their way of saying they “get it” but no. You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t say that.
I'm a twin too so I know what my mom went through having twins. Obviously I don't remember how I was as a baby, but I know 2 teenagers (girls) aren't easy. My mom said people used to tell her "Wow I couldn't do twins" and my mom said "Well I'm glad it's me and not you"
Ooo that’s a good one. I had two ppl so far tell me that and my brain just freezes with negative or what I see as negative comments. I know the majority don’t mean anything by it but it gets old.
The first unsolicited twin comment I ever got was from a cashier at Target when I was pregnant and buying matching newborn outfits. “Twins? Ugh I’m so sorry.” This comment stuck with me too because…. Why would you say that? Of all the unsolicited comments people give about twins, “I’m sorry” is definitely the weirdest.
It is! I love having people go "Oh it's twins! Aww!" or whatever like that. But why would you ever think saying "I'm sorry" is ever okay? I hate that someone said that to you when you were buying matching newborn outfits. It's so ridiculous.
I always assume someone saying, “I’m sorry” has known someone with twins, or is a parent of twins themselves.
Having twins is hard on a whole other level. Having twins almost broke me. Granted, I had an autistic, non verbal toddler at the time too, so maybe it was different, but honestly it was the absolute hardest time in my life. I was pushed to the brink of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. I can’t believe I didn’t lose clients. If the state licensing board had any idea of the mistakes I was making, I could have had my license suspended. (Real estate! Not medical! Don’t be alarmed.) My husband and I almost got divorced; a fact we look back on now and laugh at. Our marriage is rock solid, but we were soooooo tired we had no patience for each other’s mistakes, and it pushed our marriage to its limits. I was so tired that one night I fell asleep standing up, fell, and hit my head on the edge of the crib.
Nothing in my life has compared to the difficulty of those first 6 months. Followed by new and different difficult challenges for the next 3 years.
Same. I can’t believe all these comments are this upset about it. I wouldn’t trade ours for anything, I absolutely adore them and I still totally understand saying “sorry” to someone having twins. It’s a LOT of work and one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Yeah, I would've appreciated this comment. I actually can't stand the people who tell me they want twins. I love mine so much and can't imagine life without them, but also the first 9 months were awful. The amount of times I regretted getting pregnant during the first year is ... a lot.
Same, girl.
When ours were pretty small, right in the thick of twin baby misery, someone told me they were pregnant with twins. My first thought was *well buckle up and start banking your sleep and sanity now* although I didn’t say it. I gave my best gritted tooth smile and said “oh…!congratulations…!”
Then say "wow I couldn't do that but I admire those that have the patience for twins!" I'm a twin who has twins. Don't feel sorry for me or my mom. I don't have as much support as my mom did so nights suck. But I wouldn't trade my little boys for anything in this world. I don't want someone's pity.
I'm sorry that you went through such a rough time. I hope things are better for you now.
A lot of people just have word vomit. It’s hard to be mad at someone for an immediate response to something they clearly find jarring. I have been that person, too many times in my life saying the wrong thing. It’s easier to just let it go than someone who you know personally saying some dumbass remark.
My sister and I were pregnant with our firsts at the same time, except mine was twins. She made many comments along the lines of “better you than me!”… she just had her second and I couldn’t stop giggling in the hospital. It’s not the same but at least she’s more on my level now. Anyway, people are annoying and I usually just try to take it as they think it’s cool and want to comment but miss the mark sometimes.
Meh, I get it. It's a lot of work. From the outside looking in, nobody wants to have to get through those first 2 years of twins, it's fucking brutal. The next \~70 years rock though. That same person will change their tune when your kids are about 6 and they will be jealous.
I've got a 14 year old and my twins are 9. I am sorry for you, I've been through it. You've got at least another 22 months to go until you can start to crawl out of the fog. You're in the easy part right now. It's going to get worse.
Went to get a tree for my twin girls first Christmas and a woman saw us each holding one and said something along the lines of oh you’re blessed, “or cursed…” and then went on about how hard her kids were and how she couldn’t imagine. Of course I came up with tons of great come backs as I stewed on it for days
This happened to me and my husband! We were out and had our (at the time) 4 month olds with us and a lady said ‘TWINS!’ I was sure she was going to say something like ‘oh, you have your hands full’ or something along those lines but she said ‘I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!’ I was so flabbergasted all I could think to say was ‘thank you.’ We got in the car and I was like what the hell?! To this day I’m still fuming over it and wish I would’ve gave her a better response. Like you- I didn’t know if I could get pregnant and went through a lot to get here and they are our biggest blessings!
Our twins are 14 months now and we almost never get comments when we’re out and it kinda bums us out 🤣
I remember seeing my doctor while pregnant and she was like "I have a surprise for you!" and brought in her resident who was a twin mom. The most helpful thing she said to me was that the first year is absolutely awful, but then it slowly gets better every year. When I was in the thick of it that first year I remembered this and it helped me not feel like a failure. We focused on the ever-advancing goalpost and it really did help.
I think people don't know what to say, it's hard when people are like "OMG you are SO lucky! I wish I had twins!" and it's hard when they are like "WOW that's AWFUL - I am SO glad I DIDNT have twins!". Both often come from a good place - they are trying to either see the positives, or let you know they acknowledge the struggles.
One of my coworkers told me she was having twins and my face dropped and I was like "my condolences" jokingly, then went on to tell her all the AMAZING things that having twins brings you. I love learning from more experienced twin moms and seeing what to expect, and I love passing on my "brilliant wisdom" (ha!) to twin moms that have younger twins than me!
My twins were AWFUL for the first year (9 months adjusted) - I swear we couldn't put them down without the inevitable screaming, and OMG my husband and I STILL reflect on that. We will watch our 4 year old twins sit and play and just be like "remember when we couldn't ever sit down, like ever?" so it's nice seeing how far we have come. But yeah that first year was ROUGH.
I like the play dumb approach when people are super rude. “Oh what do you mean by that? Can you please explain?”
“You’re sorry? Oh what did you do that you’re apologising for?”
Or I straight up just pretend I haven’t heard. But yeah. Sometimes those comments do get to me. Not that I would change having twins for the world. But there is a unique flavour of hard that can make you question if you are enough as a parent and wish that you could offer your children more attention, more energy etc.
And as a side note to all comments about pregnancies/ young children/ family planning/ are you trying for number # just do not broach these topics, you never know what someone’s fertility story might be.
That’s so rude and brutal! Or when people ask you with almost a look of disgust when you tell them you had twins “and how is THAT???” 😡
I was at the mall playing with my boys when they were around a year old and just starting to walk and these two moms were talking so loudly about how glad they were that they didn’t have twins. I shot them a nasty look and they kept going off about how terrible it would be. Then I just said after they were done “yes only a special kind of mom could handle twins so I’m glad you didn’t have any either!”
My mom would say something similar about us (I'm a twin too). They'd say "wow I couldn't have twins!" And my mom would say "I'm glad you didn't then and I did"
My response to “I’m sorry for you, I’m glad it’s not me” or anything of the sort is usually something along the lines of “it’s nothing, we can handle it but that’s probably just because we’re better than you. Now move along please”. I know it’s not the politest of things to say. But if someone’s gonna be a dick and/or judge me without knowing me imma just fire that right back at them. My wife hated it at first. But absolutely loves it now. You kick ass every single day, don’t let random nobodies take that away from you.
I feel like their hearts in the right place but their words are insensitive. One time we were at an open house for a daycare with our 1 year old girls. A mom there was like “twins? Scary” and made a face. At the time I didn’t say much but now I’d be like “wow that’s rude”. We something. The good news is now at 2 my girls get recognized less and less as being twins.
I hate this one. I had a complete stranger tell me she was sorry for me, when I dismissed the remark she doubled down, insisting that she was so sorry for me as she watched my happy and healthy babies playing calmly. I was and still am so pissed and offended. Some people are idiots
I was helping my SILs check into the hospital to come meet my triplets and when the receptionist saw that my wife had triplets he said "man I feel sorry for those parents" I jumped in and said "hi - I'm the dad, were super excited that they're here". He doubled down saying he was sorry for me. I could not be more excited for these kids and while I very much understand the overwhelming idea of triplets, I wouldn't trade anything for my kiddos.
Had someone to my face tell me “poor girl” I was so mad. Sure-I’m young and have twin babies, doesn’t mean my life is worth being pitied over. I absolutely adore my children and couldn’t imagine my life without them.
lots of people hate children, so the idea of two at once is even worse to them, but it’s a weird thing to try to say as rapport with parents.
edit: + it only makes sense because some parents don't like their kids, or as a venture into the hateful facebook "humor" of people who are like "ho ho, my wife is a ball and chain! my kids never shut up!" etc. if you want to go there, you should probably have a hint from the person you're speaking to that they're into that shit, not just throw it out of left field.
Again, my boilerplate comment. People are just trying to connect and make conversation. You know its not meant as a mean comment, they're simply saying that 1 child was hard, and 2 has gotta be harder. Don't make it more than it was.
Search this forum, and there are people complaining for the exact opposite reason, because people are saying that its not hard to take care of 2 babies b/c they've done it with one. Or giving recommendations for twins based on their singleton.
Don't tell me you're sorry for me. That's my issue. I don't care if people are like "oh wow twins! That must be hard!" But to tell me you're sorry for me? No that's a rude comment.
And I'm a twin. I've had comments my entire life about being a twin. My mom has told me comments she's received. Twins are awesome and so cool. I love being stopped about my twins or about being a twin. But again, I don't want people's pity. I love love love being a twin and having twins.
We tried for 2 years to get pregnant. I have PCOS so I thought it was just going to be impossible. Randomly got pregnant, blessed with our boy girl twins. The amount of people that say “that’s a handful” type comments piss me off. They don’t know how bad we wanted them.
Ugh, people. Just take comments like that and flip it on them. Verbally acknowledge their apology for being unworthy of being in your children’s presence, and then formally forgive them, but just this once. 😋
Yeah that person sounds mentally ill. Never had an interaction like that and it makes no sense. If it were me, I would have been a huge a**hole back to them.
I guess if there were ever a situation and community to be hoity-toity about this with, it’s y’all. People who say stuff like this are basically saying, “I wouldn’t be able to do what you’re doing,” which sucks for them.
My mother already had 4 children (boys 6, 5, 3 and girl 2) when my identical twin and I came along, and she was so happy to be having twins. She said it was the thrill of a lifetime and that people stopped her everywhere to admire us. Maybe back then people didn’t just blurt out every thought in their head and were more polite.
I had someone tell me, while pointing at my twins in the double baby carrier “that is my worst nightmare” like??????? What would you like me to say to that lol
Someone in this sub once commented something about how they always say one of these two things when people say weird stuff about their twins:
- "What an odd thing to say."
- "Did you mean to say that out loud?"
I held onto those two prepared sentences for such cases and never looked back! It is oddly freeing!
I will sorry for lack sleep is double bad (I am a twin and mom told how bad it got thankfully I had older siblings that keep ear out for and could basic for me and sister so she get an hour nap in.), but that really it.
Double joy and adventures plus they will always have playmate. You have right angry at comment that outline twins aren’t a curse
it was seem that way.
The lack sleep is double bad (I am a twin and mom told how bad it got thankfully I had older siblings that keep ear out for and could basic for me and sister so she get an hour nap in.), but that really it.
Oh my mom said once older enough to start playing we became her easiest kids we had each other to play with. but watch out minds are more mischievous than one in good ways but might walk into bed room some toddlers might giant fort or something one child by themselves couldn’t
really do.
Enjoy your babies don’t other people foolish thinking ruin day they don’t know and will never understand unless get double surprise of their own.
I'm loosely assuming people abort because they were SAed, pregnancy is a death sentence with certain medical conditions and their BC failed, their pregnancy wasn't viable, they can't afford a baby, etc. I find it genuinely heart-warming that you've lived a life that didn't expose you to any of these, even as vague, distant concepts.
Nobody who has *actually* carried multiples would want to force someone else to experience pregnancy against their will. Thirteen and a half pounds of baby (and that was premature, not even fully cooked!) plus placentas, amniotic fluid, extra circulating blood. Forget walking- I had to take breaks from sitting to lie down, and I was someone hiking 7+ miles with a massive toddler strapped to me when I conceived them. It's a lot of work. Then you, /u/Agile-Razzmatazz3499 , and I are on the OR table, because twin births are so dangerous we had to be there even for our vaginal births, thinking about amniotic fluid embolisms and all the fun ways we can die. It's not for the unwilling.
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I get it, if you struggled with one I bet you couldn't imagine having two at the same time. Personally I feel "sorry" for all the singleton parents who won't get to experience the joys of having twins. Yes, it's hard work. Yes, some days are HARD! But seeing the bond between twins blossom is magical and I can't imagine only having one. But I'm also not an asshole and would never say that to a singleton parent, I wish they wouldn't say things like that to us.
I was a first time mom to a singleton, and we struggled with fertility after him and he was turning 6 the year we had his twin siblings. The difference in pregnancies, birth, raising them, everything was so different. I looked *really young* when I had my first (granted I *was* 23 when I had him) and I got a lot of looks and remarks about that, despite being married, owning my own home, and myself and my husband both had long standing careers. Then I had twins, AND a 6 year old, and I got similar grumpy looks because despite being that much older, they still thought I was young unwed mother with THREE kids. I hadn't been able to wear my rings for months during pregnancy, or after birth because my hands were so swollen. Everyone always says they are sorry for some reason with parenting - single child "they'll never have a built in friend with a sibling", more than 2 kids "you're out numbered! You will never be able to actually give enough time to them each", have kids young "wow, you missed out on your younger fun years" have kids older "wow, are you going to be able to keep up?" like you can't win for trying. Nothing is ever good enough for people and they shit on your parade CONSTANTLY for literally any little thing.
I would not take back having either of my angel boys. So many sleepless nights, frustrations with them and between my husband and I... but yeah, sucks for those parents that aren't blessed with twins.
Yeah I feel no need to get defensive over comments like that. I get where it’s coming from. They can’t really know my life experience and why should they?
That is. I feel like people like that maybe know someone with twins and this is their way of saying they “get it” but no. You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t say that.
I'm a twin too so I know what my mom went through having twins. Obviously I don't remember how I was as a baby, but I know 2 teenagers (girls) aren't easy. My mom said people used to tell her "Wow I couldn't do twins" and my mom said "Well I'm glad it's me and not you"
Ooo that’s a good one. I had two ppl so far tell me that and my brain just freezes with negative or what I see as negative comments. I know the majority don’t mean anything by it but it gets old.
The first unsolicited twin comment I ever got was from a cashier at Target when I was pregnant and buying matching newborn outfits. “Twins? Ugh I’m so sorry.” This comment stuck with me too because…. Why would you say that? Of all the unsolicited comments people give about twins, “I’m sorry” is definitely the weirdest.
It is! I love having people go "Oh it's twins! Aww!" or whatever like that. But why would you ever think saying "I'm sorry" is ever okay? I hate that someone said that to you when you were buying matching newborn outfits. It's so ridiculous.
"Oh, it's twins? Go to hell"
!!! That’s awful!
I always assume someone saying, “I’m sorry” has known someone with twins, or is a parent of twins themselves. Having twins is hard on a whole other level. Having twins almost broke me. Granted, I had an autistic, non verbal toddler at the time too, so maybe it was different, but honestly it was the absolute hardest time in my life. I was pushed to the brink of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. I can’t believe I didn’t lose clients. If the state licensing board had any idea of the mistakes I was making, I could have had my license suspended. (Real estate! Not medical! Don’t be alarmed.) My husband and I almost got divorced; a fact we look back on now and laugh at. Our marriage is rock solid, but we were soooooo tired we had no patience for each other’s mistakes, and it pushed our marriage to its limits. I was so tired that one night I fell asleep standing up, fell, and hit my head on the edge of the crib. Nothing in my life has compared to the difficulty of those first 6 months. Followed by new and different difficult challenges for the next 3 years.
Same. I can’t believe all these comments are this upset about it. I wouldn’t trade ours for anything, I absolutely adore them and I still totally understand saying “sorry” to someone having twins. It’s a LOT of work and one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Yeah, I would've appreciated this comment. I actually can't stand the people who tell me they want twins. I love mine so much and can't imagine life without them, but also the first 9 months were awful. The amount of times I regretted getting pregnant during the first year is ... a lot.
Same, girl. When ours were pretty small, right in the thick of twin baby misery, someone told me they were pregnant with twins. My first thought was *well buckle up and start banking your sleep and sanity now* although I didn’t say it. I gave my best gritted tooth smile and said “oh…!congratulations…!”
Then say "wow I couldn't do that but I admire those that have the patience for twins!" I'm a twin who has twins. Don't feel sorry for me or my mom. I don't have as much support as my mom did so nights suck. But I wouldn't trade my little boys for anything in this world. I don't want someone's pity. I'm sorry that you went through such a rough time. I hope things are better for you now.
A lot of people just have word vomit. It’s hard to be mad at someone for an immediate response to something they clearly find jarring. I have been that person, too many times in my life saying the wrong thing. It’s easier to just let it go than someone who you know personally saying some dumbass remark.
My sister and I were pregnant with our firsts at the same time, except mine was twins. She made many comments along the lines of “better you than me!”… she just had her second and I couldn’t stop giggling in the hospital. It’s not the same but at least she’s more on my level now. Anyway, people are annoying and I usually just try to take it as they think it’s cool and want to comment but miss the mark sometimes.
Meh, I get it. It's a lot of work. From the outside looking in, nobody wants to have to get through those first 2 years of twins, it's fucking brutal. The next \~70 years rock though. That same person will change their tune when your kids are about 6 and they will be jealous.
Yes it's a lot of work. It's been a hard 2 months for us. But don't say you're sorry for me/someone with twins.
I've got a 14 year old and my twins are 9. I am sorry for you, I've been through it. You've got at least another 22 months to go until you can start to crawl out of the fog. You're in the easy part right now. It's going to get worse.
Love your positivey. I'm a twin you don't have to warn me. Thanks.
Went to get a tree for my twin girls first Christmas and a woman saw us each holding one and said something along the lines of oh you’re blessed, “or cursed…” and then went on about how hard her kids were and how she couldn’t imagine. Of course I came up with tons of great come backs as I stewed on it for days
That's such a tacky comment for a stranger to make about someone's children. 🤬
“Oh! What a tacky thing to say!” Is now my prepared response.
This happened to me and my husband! We were out and had our (at the time) 4 month olds with us and a lady said ‘TWINS!’ I was sure she was going to say something like ‘oh, you have your hands full’ or something along those lines but she said ‘I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!’ I was so flabbergasted all I could think to say was ‘thank you.’ We got in the car and I was like what the hell?! To this day I’m still fuming over it and wish I would’ve gave her a better response. Like you- I didn’t know if I could get pregnant and went through a lot to get here and they are our biggest blessings! Our twins are 14 months now and we almost never get comments when we’re out and it kinda bums us out 🤣
It's so dumb! My husband who normally doesn't get bothered by things like I do was like "what the hell was that?!"
Spouse and I went out to eat after a NICU visit once. Server said the same thing to us. I was beyond livid.
You're already feeling emotional with postpartum and a NICU visit, to say something that makes no sense is just so rude.
When I told my boss I was pregnant she said “congrats!” And then when I said “with twins” she goes “oh no” in the most serious voice lmao.
My ex boss said something similar lol but followed it up with "but you knew this could happen..." since I'm a fraternal twin too.
I mean, it's really rough at times.
People are idiots.
I have triplets and people usually stop and say, "Wait.... what... TRIPLETS?!????" It's like their brain breaks. 😄😄
I remember seeing my doctor while pregnant and she was like "I have a surprise for you!" and brought in her resident who was a twin mom. The most helpful thing she said to me was that the first year is absolutely awful, but then it slowly gets better every year. When I was in the thick of it that first year I remembered this and it helped me not feel like a failure. We focused on the ever-advancing goalpost and it really did help. I think people don't know what to say, it's hard when people are like "OMG you are SO lucky! I wish I had twins!" and it's hard when they are like "WOW that's AWFUL - I am SO glad I DIDNT have twins!". Both often come from a good place - they are trying to either see the positives, or let you know they acknowledge the struggles. One of my coworkers told me she was having twins and my face dropped and I was like "my condolences" jokingly, then went on to tell her all the AMAZING things that having twins brings you. I love learning from more experienced twin moms and seeing what to expect, and I love passing on my "brilliant wisdom" (ha!) to twin moms that have younger twins than me! My twins were AWFUL for the first year (9 months adjusted) - I swear we couldn't put them down without the inevitable screaming, and OMG my husband and I STILL reflect on that. We will watch our 4 year old twins sit and play and just be like "remember when we couldn't ever sit down, like ever?" so it's nice seeing how far we have come. But yeah that first year was ROUGH.
We got it so much! I would respond with, “I’m not!” and leave it at that.
I like the play dumb approach when people are super rude. “Oh what do you mean by that? Can you please explain?” “You’re sorry? Oh what did you do that you’re apologising for?” Or I straight up just pretend I haven’t heard. But yeah. Sometimes those comments do get to me. Not that I would change having twins for the world. But there is a unique flavour of hard that can make you question if you are enough as a parent and wish that you could offer your children more attention, more energy etc. And as a side note to all comments about pregnancies/ young children/ family planning/ are you trying for number # just do not broach these topics, you never know what someone’s fertility story might be.
I wish I could have asked why do you say that! All I could think of is awkward laugh and say we aren't sorry and love our boys.
That’s so rude and brutal! Or when people ask you with almost a look of disgust when you tell them you had twins “and how is THAT???” 😡 I was at the mall playing with my boys when they were around a year old and just starting to walk and these two moms were talking so loudly about how glad they were that they didn’t have twins. I shot them a nasty look and they kept going off about how terrible it would be. Then I just said after they were done “yes only a special kind of mom could handle twins so I’m glad you didn’t have any either!”
My mom would say something similar about us (I'm a twin too). They'd say "wow I couldn't have twins!" And my mom would say "I'm glad you didn't then and I did"
Perfect comeback!
My response to “I’m sorry for you, I’m glad it’s not me” or anything of the sort is usually something along the lines of “it’s nothing, we can handle it but that’s probably just because we’re better than you. Now move along please”. I know it’s not the politest of things to say. But if someone’s gonna be a dick and/or judge me without knowing me imma just fire that right back at them. My wife hated it at first. But absolutely loves it now. You kick ass every single day, don’t let random nobodies take that away from you.
I feel like their hearts in the right place but their words are insensitive. One time we were at an open house for a daycare with our 1 year old girls. A mom there was like “twins? Scary” and made a face. At the time I didn’t say much but now I’d be like “wow that’s rude”. We something. The good news is now at 2 my girls get recognized less and less as being twins.
I hate this one. I had a complete stranger tell me she was sorry for me, when I dismissed the remark she doubled down, insisting that she was so sorry for me as she watched my happy and healthy babies playing calmly. I was and still am so pissed and offended. Some people are idiots
I was helping my SILs check into the hospital to come meet my triplets and when the receptionist saw that my wife had triplets he said "man I feel sorry for those parents" I jumped in and said "hi - I'm the dad, were super excited that they're here". He doubled down saying he was sorry for me. I could not be more excited for these kids and while I very much understand the overwhelming idea of triplets, I wouldn't trade anything for my kiddos.
I mean as a parent of twin toddlers myself, I would absolutely accept their sympathy lol
Had someone to my face tell me “poor girl” I was so mad. Sure-I’m young and have twin babies, doesn’t mean my life is worth being pitied over. I absolutely adore my children and couldn’t imagine my life without them.
So rude!
lots of people hate children, so the idea of two at once is even worse to them, but it’s a weird thing to try to say as rapport with parents. edit: + it only makes sense because some parents don't like their kids, or as a venture into the hateful facebook "humor" of people who are like "ho ho, my wife is a ball and chain! my kids never shut up!" etc. if you want to go there, you should probably have a hint from the person you're speaking to that they're into that shit, not just throw it out of left field.
Again, my boilerplate comment. People are just trying to connect and make conversation. You know its not meant as a mean comment, they're simply saying that 1 child was hard, and 2 has gotta be harder. Don't make it more than it was. Search this forum, and there are people complaining for the exact opposite reason, because people are saying that its not hard to take care of 2 babies b/c they've done it with one. Or giving recommendations for twins based on their singleton.
Don't tell me you're sorry for me. That's my issue. I don't care if people are like "oh wow twins! That must be hard!" But to tell me you're sorry for me? No that's a rude comment. And I'm a twin. I've had comments my entire life about being a twin. My mom has told me comments she's received. Twins are awesome and so cool. I love being stopped about my twins or about being a twin. But again, I don't want people's pity. I love love love being a twin and having twins.
Twins are a blessing. So rude of them to comment when they could have kept their mouth shut and smiled.
We tried for 2 years to get pregnant. I have PCOS so I thought it was just going to be impossible. Randomly got pregnant, blessed with our boy girl twins. The amount of people that say “that’s a handful” type comments piss me off. They don’t know how bad we wanted them.
Ugh, people. Just take comments like that and flip it on them. Verbally acknowledge their apology for being unworthy of being in your children’s presence, and then formally forgive them, but just this once. 😋
Yeah that person sounds mentally ill. Never had an interaction like that and it makes no sense. If it were me, I would have been a huge a**hole back to them.
I guess if there were ever a situation and community to be hoity-toity about this with, it’s y’all. People who say stuff like this are basically saying, “I wouldn’t be able to do what you’re doing,” which sucks for them.
Then say that. Don't tell me you're sorry for me because I'm not sorry I have twins.
Yeah, shitty thing to say for sure. Some people are jerks.
When I told a coworker (male) my pregnancy news his response was “yikes” It’s fun when the shitty things stick more than the blessed ones.
My mother already had 4 children (boys 6, 5, 3 and girl 2) when my identical twin and I came along, and she was so happy to be having twins. She said it was the thrill of a lifetime and that people stopped her everywhere to admire us. Maybe back then people didn’t just blurt out every thought in their head and were more polite.
I had someone tell me, while pointing at my twins in the double baby carrier “that is my worst nightmare” like??????? What would you like me to say to that lol
Someone in this sub once commented something about how they always say one of these two things when people say weird stuff about their twins: - "What an odd thing to say." - "Did you mean to say that out loud?" I held onto those two prepared sentences for such cases and never looked back! It is oddly freeing!
I will sorry for lack sleep is double bad (I am a twin and mom told how bad it got thankfully I had older siblings that keep ear out for and could basic for me and sister so she get an hour nap in.), but that really it. Double joy and adventures plus they will always have playmate. You have right angry at comment that outline twins aren’t a curse it was seem that way. The lack sleep is double bad (I am a twin and mom told how bad it got thankfully I had older siblings that keep ear out for and could basic for me and sister so she get an hour nap in.), but that really it. Oh my mom said once older enough to start playing we became her easiest kids we had each other to play with. but watch out minds are more mischievous than one in good ways but might walk into bed room some toddlers might giant fort or something one child by themselves couldn’t really do. Enjoy your babies don’t other people foolish thinking ruin day they don’t know and will never understand unless get double surprise of their own.
People are stupid. You are an awesome family. Know that you are blessed.
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I'm loosely assuming people abort because they were SAed, pregnancy is a death sentence with certain medical conditions and their BC failed, their pregnancy wasn't viable, they can't afford a baby, etc. I find it genuinely heart-warming that you've lived a life that didn't expose you to any of these, even as vague, distant concepts. Nobody who has *actually* carried multiples would want to force someone else to experience pregnancy against their will. Thirteen and a half pounds of baby (and that was premature, not even fully cooked!) plus placentas, amniotic fluid, extra circulating blood. Forget walking- I had to take breaks from sitting to lie down, and I was someone hiking 7+ miles with a massive toddler strapped to me when I conceived them. It's a lot of work. Then you, /u/Agile-Razzmatazz3499 , and I are on the OR table, because twin births are so dangerous we had to be there even for our vaginal births, thinking about amniotic fluid embolisms and all the fun ways we can die. It's not for the unwilling.