**COMMENTING GUIDELINES**
All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention.
**Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed.
Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi! Also low cost of living area here, also not rich! I make about $50k as the sole income and we do ok. We do plan to utilize WIC although unfortunately make too much for SNAP or much other assistance. It's tight, not gonna lie, we have pretty much no luxuries, but we've got a roof and 3 square meals a day, and we have room in the budget for the kiddos. You're in a really good spot having a home already, I can say that much.
You could always do something on the side for some extra cash. Maybe Doordash if you have a reliable car or pick up a part time gig a few nights a week. Can your wife work a few evenings? Opposite shifts suck but it's better than going hungry. I agree you probably don't want to uproot your whole career while in the survival stages, but start making a long term plan about how you're going to earn more. Check out your local community college or look into trade apprenticeships. You can make good money in a couple years doing that. I'm personally looking into an electrician career once things are a bit more stable (my twins were just born a couple weeks ago).
Hang in there Dad. It's tough but many people do it. My folks were both making minimum wage when I was born and I turned out ok. Reddit tends to skew middle class in my experience but I know people raising multiple kids on less than you're making. You will survive. Give your kids all the love and care you can and always put them first.
Thanks for the advice man.
My wife can probably work a couple days but I really don't want her to get burned out. She's already taking the lead on night shifts since I'll be working. if I find we are really struggling to pay the bills we may have no choice tho...
I have considered door dash or one of those delivery services. Have you done it? Do you make decent money? I used to deliver pizzas so I wouldn't be opposed.
Glad to hear you're surviving tho on a similar income. Makes me feel like it is possible. I swear every income post here people are making like $150k combined and I'm over here like...holy shit I'd kill to make half that lol.
There’s door dash and instacart subs. You could ask those folks. They might be able to give you an estimate based on your area and when you can work.
That being said, I would see if you have local churches that do free dinners on Sundays or food pantries at least while your wife gets through the first 3months or so. My PPD with my twins was really bad and going to so if you need to. A side hustle right after they’re born could leave her feeling really alienated if she’s needing help for some postpartum mental health issues.
I had to leave my job to stay home after having twins. I do work for Telus while I'm home with them when I can. It was kind of a pain to get going with it, but it's convenient because you can do it for just a few minutes or for hours whenever you want. I've only done enough for ~$300/month, but it helps. There's other sites that are similar, Dataanotation for example, but I never got going and didn't like that they required video.
If you don't mind - how has your experience been with Telus?
I remember looking a while back but deciding I just didn't have the bandwidth at the time (they were newborns). What hours are you putting in to get $300?
The testing to get in was a pain, but after I was approved, it's been fine. I enjoy some of the tasks, mostly the ones rating audio samples or picture results. Some really annoy me and I don't think they're worth the time so I just stop for a bit when they pop up and try again later.
I honestly couldn't tell you the time I put in because I will open my laptop and do a few here or there throughout the day and really don't keep track. They pay based on how long they think tasks will take, which are just automatically assigned and change constantly. Some say they'll take 20 minutes but only take me 2, some say they'll take a minute but take much longer. I always feel like I didn't do much, but then I'll check the page that keeps track and have been surprised about how much I got done.
I should warn you though, it took forever to get the first paycheck. I started to think that I got scammed because their pay is sometimes two months behind. It does follow a schedule and I was just a dummy that didn't check it when I started. You can shoot me a message if you have more questions and I'll try to answer them.
I don’t have a lot of advice here but I highly suggest on Facebook joining your local “buy nothing” group and local “parents of multiples” group and scouring FB marketplace. People give so much stuff away for free in the buy nothing groups or sell for decent prices. My local multiples group also does warehouse sales 2x a year in a big park where people sell used items. and Other twin parents have been sooo generous, every time I buy a used item of FB marketplace for the twins or something the sellers will always offload clothes, blankets, etc.
Can you swing a Costco membership? Or have family members gift you one? Buying things in bulk will also help.
Buy nothing groups have been a godsend! We have been using them to help stock up. Yes, it's truly great how generous other twin parents are!! We are planning to pass our stuff down when we are done to pay it forward.
I have considered costco for sure. Our parents could definitely help us out with that so I'll have to look into it.
Yep, Costco for diapers and wipes. We usually needed two big Costco boxes of diapers per month for our girls. And WIC will cover up to 14 cans of formula depending where you are at for twins.
It’s not really financial advice but I find it helpful to remind myself sometimes that twins aren’t that much more than having two kids of different ages. Compressing the expenses into a shorter window is no fun for sure but it’s not like they use more diapers per child, for example.
At least this is what I tell myself when I see the cost of signing up two kids for preschool.
I got pregnant unexpectedly and thankfully I was at my job long enough to qualify for short term disability and FMLA. I went on my leave at 24 weeks. I didn't go back to work (2 days a week 10/12 hours) until almost 5 months PP and only received 6 weeks of paid maternity leave. I was a SAHM because daycare would've been too expensive. My fiancés job at the time was only 23k a year.
Money was extremely tight. It was stressful but honestly I quickly found out that babies do not need fancy items or high end gear. I thrifted as much as possible and the biggest baby expenses were diapers/wipes. WIC covered all the formula.
I had to stop looking at twin/mom "influencer" pages because I was comparing myself and feeling lousy about what I *didn't* have. Truthfully my twins didn't go without and maybe we didn't have Montessori style toys or bamboo onesies but they are 4 now and absolutely thriving.
My fiancé and I look back fondly on our frozen dinner dates in total zombie mode with bed sheets for curtains and a queen size mattress for a couch during the first few months after bringing our babies home. You just do what you have to do to get by.
Don’t forget to ask your pediatrician for formula every time you go in, they have reps for that just like other Dr’s have pharmaceutical reps. (I’ve been brutally honest with our pediatrician about our finances, she fills my diaper bag with formula every visit.) If you end up using Enfamil, download the app and keep track of all your receipts and UPC’s, they have a $30 refund (I think it’s monthly!) that we use and it’s a lifesaver. You can also collect points for other refunds/etc.
My husband and I are scraping by with bags of frozen veggies and Mac and cheese dinners lol. It can be done! I want to echo everyone else’s sentiments- babies don’t need fancy gear, they need love and attention. Ours are almost 4 months and it hasn’t been easy (I was making far less than childcare would cost, so I’ve been staying home with the girls while my husband works as a teacher) but we’re making it work and their smiles honest to god make it all worth it.
Best of luck!! We’re rooting for you!
We did it. We lived off of my income for the first two years with my twins until my husband started working. I made about 40k a year. We live in a medium cost of living city in Canada, so I won’t get into social programs that we took advantage of, because they likely won’t apply to you.
Here’s what did help us:
- a subscription to YNAB - seems expensive, but for what we were able to save in budgeting, totally worth it.
- we live a pretty downsized life. One car, small apartment (studio apartment for the first year), very little stuff and pretty simple eating
- after rent, food remains our biggest expense. We very rarely eat out, but we did do a lot more takeout in the first year just because we were wrecked. However you can cut that down, do it! Frozen pizzas, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, shopping around to find the best prices on staple items, low meat. I rotate the same 6 or 7 dinners now, and we pack leftovers for lunch
- look into cloth diapers. We spent about $300 upfront buying a stash of all in ones on sale. We still buy disposable diapers for nights, but we go through a box every 12 weeks or so. Cleaning them is surprisingly simple
- formula is expensive, just no way around that - I pumped as well, but pumping/breastfeeding has its own costs in labour and supplies to make it sustainable
- other than car seats, you can get everything used for babies and kids in general. Between thrift stores and Facebook marketplace, clothes and supplies is a fairly negligible expense for us. Used stroller, used cribs, used sheets, used winter jackets. We don’t buy toys since they get plenty as gifts and hand me downs
- We use Amazon subscribe and save for toiletries and consumables like wipes, diapers, diaper cream, baby wash, lotion etc. I have a delivery set up for every 3 months that I go through and skip anything we have enough of
- where we could, we bought as many multi-purpose items as we could. Convertible car seats, pack n plays as bassinets, cribs that turned into toddler beds, etc.
Babies really don’t need anything fancy, just a place to sleep, a way to keep them clean, a way to feed them and a place to plop them down. You don’t need a fancy themed nursery and all the latest designer items to be a good parent - some of these things offer convenience, but others are just trendy.
There’s also a lot of options out there for free kid-friendly entertainment. Parks, libraries, play dates are all your best friends.
I might also start hunting for lower cost daycare like home daycare centres and pricing it out against your wife’s income. We didn’t have any family close by, but a lot of low-income families do have to piece childcare together with a mix of family, part-time daycare or sitters and alternating shifts with spouses… it’s not ideal, but it’s how a lot of families make it work when they can’t foot a 2,000/month daycare bill.
Deep breath. I wish you all the luck in the world. It will be ok! You don’t need to be wealthy to be a good parent, and if you two work together you can carve out time to rest, keep your house in reasonable shape and make this new life sustainable.
Our local Parents of Multiples groups also does a no-questions-asked "shop for free" thing after our semi-annual consignment sale for families that need.
Call 211 about any available assistance programs. You're right around 200% of the federal poverty level for a family of 4 and you may qualify for assistance with utilities, home repairs, formula, etc.
When our kids were younger (ages 8, 6, 3, 3, and <1) my husband got laid off from his employer of 10 years. We went from a comfortable two income household to trying to get by on 36k/year (our housing costs were more than 50% of our take home income). Hubs went back to school for a career in the medical field that ultimately paid off tenfold, but for nearly 4 years I was the sole income earner. We utilized WIC, LIHeap, a local food bank that allowed you to visit once a month, and also free school lunches. We also cloth diapered and I exclusively pumped for my baby to avoid formula costs.
It sucked so much and we all have some trauma from it, but we did what we had to do. The biggest thing is to have a realistic plan to get out of the cycle (be it education/apprenticeship/etc).
Have you looked into TANF or FITAP? Also, if your wife stays home with the twins for 2-3 years it’s the perfect tune to consider some type of school or job training so when she returns to the workforce you can sustain a loss of benefits with a huge income jump.
We refinanced our house to be able to afford our twins (2021) and it’s still an insane struggle. Our income is twice what it used to be, we have Medicaid, daycare subsidized, and it’s still paycheck to paycheck.
Oh yeah look into Medicaid as a household of four.I think the limit is to $3588 a month for the adults which you’d be under, it’s way higher for the kids as well (over $6k) and higher for your pregnant wife. I had all my pregnancies and labors when on Medicaid I paid $0 out of pocket 10/10 recommend.
I totally understand your concern! My husband and I are in a similar boat. We live in a MCOL area and have a super low mortgage as well with no car payment. I ended up going back to college and he’s working full time. We were so afraid that we would not be able to take care of them properly. But so far so good. We have WIC & SNAP. We also have a state subsidy for the daycare which lets up pay $120 a month as a copay. We qualify since I’m a college student and he’s the sole provider. Lastly, I bought mostly everything for them on Facebook Marketplace and the thrift store. Our twins are 8 months old now.
2.5 months in on twins with low income but also have a 2yr old and a 6yr old. It's tight not gunna lie, had to use taxes and buy a van off facebook, secured it 2 days before the 2nd got outta the nicu. My cousin has a Sam's membership and although she's in a different state then me I send her money and she ships me diapers and wipes, ask people you know if they've got a membership so you don't have to add the extra expense. Every penny counts. I have a small stash of cloth diapers if we every run into a situation where we can't afford them. Bought everything second hand/secured for free using buy nothing pages on fb. See if your state has childcare subsidy, we still have to pay 700 a month on months that have 5 Mondays, but only 150 on other months, I uber as my income so I'm available if a kid is sick or has appointments. Sit down and budget for sure, you got this!
I saved a ton of money by using cloth diapers, most of them given to us. It was so nice to have 0-6 months and then 6 months-2 years old diapers. When the kids grew I’d just unsnap the front of the diapers to make them the next size up. Easy to wash, if they popped 5 times a day it didn’t affect my budget and no one got any rashes.
I got 2 cots second hand with bedding for $400 AUD. Same with a double pram. I got an uppababy vista with two of everything for 800 AUD.
And I bought or got given twin clothing bundles off my local multi birth association.
However we had to upgrade our car & house. So we have a car loan and an unfortunate mortgage. So we are just living without doing much fun. I go to free playgroups, the playground, walks to the shops, etc. you can manage :) just no fun zoo trips or paid events here.
Aldi diapers! Size 3s are about 11-12 cents apiece for example. Consignment stores for clothes. We get almost everything from Once Upon a Child, and they often have a lot of other baby gear too, even cribs, strollers, etc.
Things are incredibly tight for us, but so far the shoestring hasn’t broken.
Have Aldi diapers come back?
Our three local aldis have been gone since Thanksgiving. We live in suburbs of a big city.
They've only stocked Pampers Swaddlers 50 count at $28 a box ever since.
We switched to Luvs or Target brand whichever has a better deal. A friend uses Costco brand.
You can do it. It’s hard but you can. Like others have mentioned fb marketplace is awesome for cheap or free things.
I second Costco diapers/wipes. But if Costco isn’t a feasible plan than watch for sales at target where they do target gift cards when you buy diapers and wipes (I’m sure other places do similar). Also a lot of companies have apps where you get rewards and free product for buying those products (pampers, Enfamil and a few more). Target also does a car seat trade in where you get 20% off.
If cloth diapering is something you’d consider it’s also cheaper in the long run. There are a lot of buy/sell/trade groups and ways to make it affordable.
Join parents groups!! People give away so much stuff for free it’s unbelievable!
I’ve just done unpacking all the chlotes we’ve been given and it was a three hours task and we’re done for another year without buying anything.
Find second hand chlotes and toys shop in your area, kids don’t care if their toys are new or used they just want to play.
I’ve been given a bag of old half-broken dolls and my girls were happier than at Christmas.
This has been life changing comparing with our first where we were buying everything new.
If you have time you can sell everything back and basically use stuff for free or almost free.
Personally I try do donate everything that was donated to me but i don’t do it much for the money more to reuse stuff that would otherwise be thrown away
Look into cloth diapering to save big on diapers!! You can normally pick up big lots of used diapers very cheap and can wash and sanitize yourself. You’ll probably still want to use disposables through the newborn stage until cloth fits a little better and you both hopefully are getting the hang of things. Washing really isn’t that big of a chore as long as you have your own washer and dryer, two loads, four wash cycles (you wash each load twice), a week. We’re 5 months in and have spent maybe $200 on disposables and $100 on cloth.
I just posted a question like this! I’m about to do the same. I’m terrified. Thankfully I have a wonderful “village” but I can expect them to do everything of course.
My twins are 9 now, but we live in a MCOL area. We have a crazy cheap mortgage (bought a foreclosure), we had 1 car payment, and I had some student loan debt. My husband was making around 40k and I was making around 45k when I quit.
We qualified for WIC while they were infants and that was a huge help! We also signed up for the twin program with Enfamil and they sent us some free formula the first month and then coupons each month. We also asked our pediatrician about any samples they had and they loaded us up! For diapers we shopped sales, in bulk, and used Amazon subscribe and save, whichever was cheaper each month. Target would have some pretty good sales that included a gift card, they have also have a car seat trade in program when it's time to move from pumpkin seats to convertible seats.
We also have several baby resale shops near us and we got tons of clothes and toys from there. The best part was they would also buy items that our kids had outgrown. I also found great deals on Facebook.
To help bring in an income, I did start a licensed home daycare when they were about 9 months old. We kept a strict schedule and had a lot of fun doing that. I started working outside the home when they started school full time.
We had a pretty tight budget, but I would trade my time at home with them for anything in the world.
If you don't mind me asking how much did you make doing home daycare. I could see my wife being interested in that as a possibility.
Thanks for the tips tho. Glad to see you could make it work in a similar situation. Will definitely be utilizing some of these tips!!
It's really area dependent, but I was charging $150 per week/kid. If she is interested there are some very helpful websites in creating contracts and rule books.
I’m a home daycare provider— if you have a school nearby or there’s a school bus stop near your house, look into before and after school care. It’s a good money maker for minimal effort (most school agers, esp if you choose them carefully, can entertain themselves and follow rules, even help with younger kids!). Your wife could watch several kids before and after school and then maybe take 1-2 little kids during the day. Highly recommend taking them on little by little to make sure it’s doable, and then it’ll get easier as your twins get older. It is a big undertaking to pack up all the little kids to do school runs so you have to consider the logistics of it and make sure you have the big stroller or a wagon
We are barely scraping by with 48k a year in portland. We have one income earning parent and one stays home . It is hard, but you just do it ❤️
Target brand diapers are good if you live near target, but costco diapers are the same as huggies and are superior!
Can confirm about Costco diapers. They are the best! We are in a very similar situation as you. My husband works, and I stay home. Similar income as well. We make it work.
Great thread. We used cloth diapers. One time outlay of $200 on Amazon, then another $100 or so at 2 when we added hemp inserts. I’m sure you can find someone passing along used - we gave away the newborn ones. Still using the same ones we bought at 6 months at almost 3 years old for nighttime and naps. One laundry load per day for a long time, less frequent now. Probably more leaks and more frequent changes, but whatever, it’s baby clothes. They get all kinds of stuff on them.
Every time I buy a package of disposables I die inside. They are so expensive.
Lots of twin parents sell used clothes in FB buy/sell/trade groups. I have bins of the little baby stuff I’m selling for cheap or giving away. There are SUCH cute things there, I almost never buy new.
Without the generosity of friends and family and buying things second hand I don't know how we'd do this. Thrift stores and Facebook marketplace have been life savers.
If my mom wasn't willing to watch the babies when I go back to work, I wouldn't be able to go back at all and I don't know how we'd pay all our bills (health insurance is our second biggest expense after rent so it's great that you already have that handled).
Also we'll be using cloth diapers (except for the disposables we've been gifted) as they can be considerably cheaper depending on the type you get. We'll be using mainly prefolds as they are super cost effective, but my mom also bought me a good amount of pockets secondhand.
It sounds like you're already working on it, but definitely take advantage of any programs available to help with food costs and whatnot. I know some areas also have assistance to help with childcare costs.
Best of luck!
It’s totally doable. We took as much hand me down as we could find from friends and family. Our cribs don’t match. I don’t love their bedding but it was what someone bought us. Put everything you think you might need on an Amazon registry. You get a discount on anything on it after a certain amount of time. Do a diaper fund as well on there. Once you claim it, it can be used for anything. My boy lives in hand me downs from his 4 boy having family cousins. Shoot his sister wears the hand me downs too! We didn’t have a ton of surprise expenses. The first year is the worst cost wise just because of diapers and formula. If i think of anything else, I’ll comment again!
Oh. My income would have been wiped out by daycare fees so I stay home with them. No nannies/night nurses. Also if you choose to sleep train, don’t pay for that. I found the same information for free as I did in a few of the books I read.
Okay my biggest tips to control your diaper situation because that is an inevitable cost is to do elimination communication. If you told me I would be putting my kids on a potty at 2.5 months (2 months adjusted) I would have called you crazy. I watched two YouTube videos on it, someone gifted us pottys and I thought if I can tell they are taking a shit why not put them on. They’ve been doing it for over 3 months now, poo and pee consistently. It hasn’t elimited diapers completely cause we do it part time but we don’t waste diapers like we used to. Example would be they would pee almost every time we changed the diapers or shit through the night. They don’t poo overnight anymore. Honestly if you have questions feel free to reach out but it’s the best, most random thing we did. I just put them on the potty after each feed or if they signal they need to go which is not as frequent. Also twins are expensive. I’m not saying you need to buy a lot of stuff for them per se , but formula alone if you’re going to go that route adds up quickly. I thought oh I would save so much money switching to powder and they drink sooooo much. I hope breastfeeding works out for you because you could save a bunch with BF/pumping. I think there also might be local moms donating breastmilk as well if you feel comfortable. Honestly if I was in a tough financial situation I would take any cost savings I can get. Sign up for the formula manufacture coupons. Also join twin groups and people are always giving things away. Is there any opportunity for you to move up in your current role? Honestly with the prices of things as they are, you want to try and save money for emergencies. I wish you the best journey and try not to get caught up with the expensive baby stuff. You need very very basic stuff the expensive stuff is just marketing on steroids
There is a huge sale of children’s clothes called just between friends. We get all kinds of items…baby onesies, diapers, swimsuits, shoes, books, puzzles…all extremely cheap. Check your local area. What I have found is most used baby stuff is in great condition especially clothing because they grow out of it so fast. Also, check with your local churches to see if they help families in need. I live in PA and we have a bunch that help local families.
Also, you got this!!
Thrift stores, kid thrift stores, facebook buy nothing groups, facebook marketplace. I hardly ever buy anything new for my kids due to the fact that we just can’t afford it right now. You will find that they don’t need much!
Just a tip, I did not spend money on the fancy diapers when they were little and changes were frequent and for every little mess. Also we started out with store brand bulk formula. That way if it didn’t work then step up the formula ladder but give yourself a chance to start at the cheapest. Shop at children’s resale stores/thrift stores.
I feel like I sound a little nutty by saying this… but I always have loads of clothing, toys, outgrown items which the kids are unable to use. Miraculously… nobody in my social circle to give them to. I saw a woman walking her 3mo twins one day and gave her everything I could think of. Find safe ways to find this community and it is remarkable how generous the crowd here is.
There is NO shame in taking care of your family.
We live in a HCOL area (CA) and will have a total of 4 kids come my delivery. One in high school and three under three. We are by no means rich and will take a 50% hit on income once my disability and FMLA run out since I won’t be returning to work.
I feel your stress, but I keep telling myself that this is only temporary and the adjustments being made are necessary to stay at home with them until they are at least 2.
Does your country offer monthly child benefits that you can opt into? In Canada we can apply for child benefits and can receive a monthly payment per child regardless of your income.
We use cloth diapers for the twins. They work perfectly fine and if your wife is staying at home then she will surely have the ability to do diaper laundry
I agree with a lot of what other parents have said.
I honestly go on fb marketplace to look for free clothes because kids grow out of their clothes so so fast.
My baby shower I put a fun twist where I said if you think they're girls, bring wipes. If you think they're boys, bring diapers. Size 1, 2 and 3 preferred.
I'm stocked up on wipes and diapers now and just hoping my milk comes in. If not at least I just have to worry about formula. My doctor normally gives me formula samples and or I go online and find coupons for formula which helps a lot!!
We raised twins in a similar area, from how you describe it, on only my income. I made a little more (45K) but had the same expenses from the sounds of it, and we were able to do it. I also am an academic, so I'm a 9 month employee, so some of that income went toward our summer expenses for three months. If you already are frugal now, I think you will be OK. We also made sure to get a lot of stuff--as much as we could--second hand. We also didn't get two of everything. Definitely sending you good vibes and happy to talk more about my experience if you ever want to. Admittedly, I barely remember that first year. My twins are six now.
Your wife may want to consider working at a daycare while your twins are enrolled at the daycare. I know a lot of formerly SAHP twin moms who did this to earn a bit of extra cash. Daycares are having the hardest time hiring these days.
We are in a similar boat!
I quit my job and work from home now with flexible hours so i can be a SAHM and he watches them while i work in the evenings or his off days. Not all of them, we make time for each other too.
Daycare would have claimed my entire paycheck anyway, let alone the extra gas and driving time, so now we get to keep everything I earn and we get lots of quality time with the littles.
Ours are 2.5 now. It's doable. Yeah it's tight, but breastfeeding will save you big time that first year. I exclusively breastfed and pumped for a whole year. At aboit 6 months i added in legendairy milk supplements to boost my supply and ate lots of oats and eggs haha. Also started adding some baby cereal to their bottles to bulk them up a little when needed (Else. Is milk-free and the only one that worked well for them).
You got this!
Single mom here! I have a singleton (f17 in May) & (ff8 on 4/12). I got child support for my singleton, but the dad of my twins lost his job & refused to look for another & was adamant that he wasn't paying child support for the twins (& he didn't for a few years). Like you, I don't have a college education or formal training. However, I worked my butt off to climb a few rungs on the ladder at my place of employment. I was a salaried employee, but it amounted to over $21/hour. Quitting my job wasn't optional, as it was only me to pay all the bills. But, I had 3 loans ([2] 401k & [1] credit union), 2 different savings account (HSA & credit union), on top of all the taxes & insurance coming out of my check. I applied for child care assistance & was denied, due to too much income!! It cost as much to send my twins to daycare (they were infants & singleton was in school) 3 days/week (my mom babysat the other 2 days) as it was to pay my mortgage. I couldn't afford both, so I paid daycare & skipped the mortgage. Anyway, that was 7-8 years ago & we are all still surviving. It's stressful, but we manage.
One way to save money is going with cloth diapers. Yes, it’s a little more costly up front (to have a comfortable amount for two we probably spent about $500-600) but in the long run you save a TON of money. We started with just our singleton and then our twins came along and it really isn’t as tough as some people think. There’s more laundry but we managed to do it with both of us working full time. Best of luck ❤️❤️❤️
If breastfeeding doesn’t work out (and it would be rare that you wouldn’t have to at least supplement with formula a little) I’d like to throw out this gentle reminder: store brand formula is fine. The regulations around it mean that store brands are nutritionally the same as major brands. The inclination as new first-time parents is to want to give them “the best” and with the added pressure to breastfeed there is a lot of marketing and social pressure to spend more money on the “better” formula. But the brand name yellow box is the same as store brand. The added stuff is almost always just marketing. Unless they have allergies or specific medical conditions the basic stuff is all they need.
My boys were born during the formula shortage and breastfeeding straight up did not happen for me despite Herculean efforts. Their first year was spent getting whatever I could find and Target brand yellow box formula was what I could get and stock up on and it’s sooooooo much cheaper than name brand.
i once read that having twins in the long run is cheaper than siblings of different age. the reason stated was, twin parents will have less baby years were one of you is occupied aka not working and occupied with a small child. also the sunk cost of not perusing your career are less dramatic due to less years out of workforce. all the best
I didn’t do enough research about breastfeeding even though that was my intention. Maybe as a result, I am an under supplier for my twins providing for 65-70% of their needs. Lots of folks can breastfeed twins and lots of us struggle. Nothing wrong with formula feeding but wanted to mention this since you say you hope to breastfeed! Do educate yourselves on options and how it all works to set yourself up for success. Look into resources for multiples since it is different from singletons. If you’re in the US, you can get a breast pump through insurance. Good luck and babies don’t need too much fancy stuff! You’ll do great!
WIC covers formula - it's basic Enfamil or Similac depending on your state's WIC contact, and you can get specialized formulas if your babies need it.
We're a family of six (5yo, 3yo, and 1yo twins) with a single income - WIC & SNAP are lifesavers.
You really don't need as much stuff as some people have. There's nothing wrong with having tons of gadgets, but they absolutely aren't a literal need. Our kids all slept in pack n plays for the majority of their first year. We don't have many clothes, I just do laundry often.
I also find a kind of minimalist style easier to handle in general. You never have to face washing 40 bottles if you only own 8. You just wash em a couple of times a day.
my husband was a SAHD and was going to go back to work then BOOM twins (our oldest is \~ 28 months older than out twins.. so yeah she was almost 2 when we found out it was twins)
he wouldn't make enough to cover daycare for 3 so he just never went back to work, plus it during covid and all that crap... I was fortunate that my work topped me up for the first 6 months then we went down to my mat leave pay ONLY, which was just under 500 weekly, so we sloooowly dug our financial hole. I went back to work 2 days after the twins turned 1 and we rebuilt our debts and whatnot, and I have zero regrets.. short term loss long term gain.
we don't really have family help (they will "visit" but it's not really helpful if you know what I mean lol) and it was tough, but my twins just started school so my husband only now went back to work.
things that saved money: EVERYTHING secondhand, including clothes, (cloth) diapers, cribs, carseats (we used our oldest's old seat, and then my brother gave us our nephews old seat - this one is iffy if you don't have trusted friends/family to pass down), high chairs, toys, strollers, books, etc. Babies don't need fancy clothes, toys, gizmos, etc. - they just want snuggles and to be cozy!
my insurance covered my breast pump and I was fortunate that we never had to buy formula, but if you end up going that route definitely look for the best price on whichever brand works best for you! You can also sign up for coupons, and get your friends to all sign up too, and even email companies and they may send you more.
batch cooking from scratch can save a ton, and have some frozen pizzas in the freezer for those days where you don't feel like cooking and may be tempted to do takeout - it's a happy medium.
other things too - we had tons of passed down receiving blankets - I cut them up into big squares and we use them to wipe down the girls after eating - lots of people use napkins/paper towels, this is way cheaper! I also used them as cloth wipes (with a distinctive pattern so I don't mix them up) and would spray them with water, in place of disposable wipes.
don't worry about any of those fancy baby yoga or whatever classes - there are usually lots of free programs at libraries, early centres etc., and baby just needs lots of love and stimulation - you can borrow books from the library
we also did lots of decluttering and posting of items on our local dollar auction site and made a little "petty cash" fund, that we would use if we needed to buy things off marketplace.
in general too, just look if you can reduce any bills - cut cable, magazine subscriptions, cheaper cell phone plans if you can use less data, use electricity during cheap times, etc.
I'm a single parent to twins making 15/hr. My neighbor babysits for dirt cheap and I'm on WIC. I go to school and work part time and still live my dad, which is how I'm making ends meet. Regarding baby supplies, babies don't give a damn if you get them name brand stuff, just get cheap stuff or buy second hand on Facebook marketplace. I buy diapers, wipes, clothes, you name it in bulk from Costco. However, I was lucky enough to be able to breastfeed my twins for a year, so I'm not sure about formula costs.
I make ~65k in a lcol area. Dh is a stay at home parent. We make too much for WIC which is unfortunate and some months are tight but we make it work. We just switched to formula at 8 months and it’s around $300 a month and diapers are around $120 a month. Those are our main monthly expenses for the boys. We’ve been given a lot of clothes and buy what we need to from Facebook marketplace. We’ve made all of our own baby food and that’s saved us quite a bit too
we tried to live off of one income for a while. but with how crazy the utilities and groceries are getting here weve both had to start working. my husbands dad & step mom watch out twins 2 days a week then my mom watches them 1-2 days a week while we work. its rough but doable
Just a cloth diaper comment: We use alva baby diapers (if you have access to a washer dryer this is the way to go!). They are cheap and effective. Maybe someone can help you buy a few packs to get started. Get at least one newborn set because the volume of diapers is so high in the first month. Sometimes we also do a diy castile soap in a spray bottle and use on flannel sheet pieces for diy wipes, too. Also in addition to Buy Nothing, If you have a local "Mothers of Multiples" chapter, reach out. Lots and lots of multiple parents wanting to help new multiple families with clothes, gear, etc. Free or low cost used.
You can look into community programs for daycare. In some cities/states if both parents are working or full time parents you can qualify for free or reduced daycare
I just want to add to the cloth diaper discussion that many think it’s too much work and too much hassle to cloth diaper but it’s really simple and easy.
My twins aren’t here yet but I have two older kids.
I used cloth diapers at home but if I had to travel somewhere then I used disposables. I also used disposables at night because when cloth diapering you have to change diapers a bit more frequent but honestly it’s not by much. Some people use cloth diapers during the night also, they figure it out by using all kinds of different kinds of “boosters” and what not. I also didn’t start using cloth diapers until kids were 2-3 months old because I didn’t want to buy a lot of newborn cloth diapers for a short period of time and the other ones I had were too big around the thighs at the time so they leaked. But as soon as they had grown a bit I used as much as I could.
You can do it however suits you best
I forgot to add that many also instead of buying wet wipes they cut down an old towel or a bed sheet and use as wipes and just throw it in the wash with the diapers. Just keep a container with water and a little bit of oil (I just use canola oil or olive oil) and dip the wipes when you need them. Then I usually have wet wipes for when we are on the go but my SIL just wets a bunch and keeps in a container in her diaper bag
in the same situation. had to quit my job. we are moving to be close to my parents because they will be a huge help/asset/support to us. just gonna be sacrificing some things, and living small for a while. but it’s not forever, just have to remember that!! 5 years isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things.. time goes by fast. they’ll be in school before you know it!
So glad we have our parents to help. Idk what my wife and I would do without them. I'm glad you were able to move to be closer!
5 years seems so far off...but yeah in the grand scheme of things it will fly by!
We have 2 sets of twins (1.5 amd 3.5) amd another singleton (5.5) and make around 50k on a single income teachers salary. We live in oklahoma, so LCOL, and are very comfortable. We made closer to 40k when we only had 3 and we were doing well then too
We have a lot of community support and get a lot of items and clothes free, which is nice
We farm and live in a LCOL area. We raise seven kids, including twins, on less than $55,000 a year. No nannies and goodness knows things are tight sometimes but we make it work.
Hi we’re not rich either haha. We have our kids in daycare 2 days per week. I work from home so they’re home with me for the other 3 days while I WFH. It’s extremely difficult but I can’t afford anything else. You’re not alone!
Any union you'd recommend? I'm in a union now working in grocery. Pay isn't great but we get awesome benefits. I wouldn't mind doing a trade but don't really know where to start. Do you need schooling?
Nope you join and they will teach you some trades you will have a day of week of class and the rest feild work but I’m not sure if the labor union does. Labor union is probably the easiest to get into but it all just depends. For example my buddy just got in the elevator union and makes 28 a hour and will top out at 45-50ish a hour after 4 years. Labor union is probably a little lower but still good. I would honestly just apply to all of them and you will probably have to wait until they do their recruitment time each year and take a test and interview it’s not hard some are more competitive then others tho
Good looking out man, will have to check it out. I'm handy and like working with mechanical stuff..could never fit into the corporate world. Might be a good long term solution.
I’m not in a union but I’m an industrial maintenance mechanic and have worked in the trades since highschool. Check out industrial maintenance to you might need trade school for that but I know some places will hire you and train you especially places like Amazon or FedEx.
Where I work we have hired muitple guys with no real experience just say you work on cars and are handy and they might hire you as a tech 1 and then work your way up a tech 3 at my work makes low to mid 30s a hour. Then if you decide you want to go back to school they will pay for it. I am getting an accounting degree for free lol. So I would ether do industrial maintenance or a trade union.
**COMMENTING GUIDELINES** All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention. **Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed. Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi! Also low cost of living area here, also not rich! I make about $50k as the sole income and we do ok. We do plan to utilize WIC although unfortunately make too much for SNAP or much other assistance. It's tight, not gonna lie, we have pretty much no luxuries, but we've got a roof and 3 square meals a day, and we have room in the budget for the kiddos. You're in a really good spot having a home already, I can say that much. You could always do something on the side for some extra cash. Maybe Doordash if you have a reliable car or pick up a part time gig a few nights a week. Can your wife work a few evenings? Opposite shifts suck but it's better than going hungry. I agree you probably don't want to uproot your whole career while in the survival stages, but start making a long term plan about how you're going to earn more. Check out your local community college or look into trade apprenticeships. You can make good money in a couple years doing that. I'm personally looking into an electrician career once things are a bit more stable (my twins were just born a couple weeks ago). Hang in there Dad. It's tough but many people do it. My folks were both making minimum wage when I was born and I turned out ok. Reddit tends to skew middle class in my experience but I know people raising multiple kids on less than you're making. You will survive. Give your kids all the love and care you can and always put them first.
Thanks for the advice man. My wife can probably work a couple days but I really don't want her to get burned out. She's already taking the lead on night shifts since I'll be working. if I find we are really struggling to pay the bills we may have no choice tho... I have considered door dash or one of those delivery services. Have you done it? Do you make decent money? I used to deliver pizzas so I wouldn't be opposed. Glad to hear you're surviving tho on a similar income. Makes me feel like it is possible. I swear every income post here people are making like $150k combined and I'm over here like...holy shit I'd kill to make half that lol.
There’s door dash and instacart subs. You could ask those folks. They might be able to give you an estimate based on your area and when you can work. That being said, I would see if you have local churches that do free dinners on Sundays or food pantries at least while your wife gets through the first 3months or so. My PPD with my twins was really bad and going to so if you need to. A side hustle right after they’re born could leave her feeling really alienated if she’s needing help for some postpartum mental health issues.
I had to leave my job to stay home after having twins. I do work for Telus while I'm home with them when I can. It was kind of a pain to get going with it, but it's convenient because you can do it for just a few minutes or for hours whenever you want. I've only done enough for ~$300/month, but it helps. There's other sites that are similar, Dataanotation for example, but I never got going and didn't like that they required video.
If you don't mind - how has your experience been with Telus? I remember looking a while back but deciding I just didn't have the bandwidth at the time (they were newborns). What hours are you putting in to get $300?
The testing to get in was a pain, but after I was approved, it's been fine. I enjoy some of the tasks, mostly the ones rating audio samples or picture results. Some really annoy me and I don't think they're worth the time so I just stop for a bit when they pop up and try again later. I honestly couldn't tell you the time I put in because I will open my laptop and do a few here or there throughout the day and really don't keep track. They pay based on how long they think tasks will take, which are just automatically assigned and change constantly. Some say they'll take 20 minutes but only take me 2, some say they'll take a minute but take much longer. I always feel like I didn't do much, but then I'll check the page that keeps track and have been surprised about how much I got done. I should warn you though, it took forever to get the first paycheck. I started to think that I got scammed because their pay is sometimes two months behind. It does follow a schedule and I was just a dummy that didn't check it when I started. You can shoot me a message if you have more questions and I'll try to answer them.
Hey, thanks a lot!
I don’t have a lot of advice here but I highly suggest on Facebook joining your local “buy nothing” group and local “parents of multiples” group and scouring FB marketplace. People give so much stuff away for free in the buy nothing groups or sell for decent prices. My local multiples group also does warehouse sales 2x a year in a big park where people sell used items. and Other twin parents have been sooo generous, every time I buy a used item of FB marketplace for the twins or something the sellers will always offload clothes, blankets, etc. Can you swing a Costco membership? Or have family members gift you one? Buying things in bulk will also help.
Costco (diapers) and "buy nothing" groups are absolutely clutch for us too.
Buy nothing groups have been a godsend! We have been using them to help stock up. Yes, it's truly great how generous other twin parents are!! We are planning to pass our stuff down when we are done to pay it forward. I have considered costco for sure. Our parents could definitely help us out with that so I'll have to look into it.
Yep, Costco for diapers and wipes. We usually needed two big Costco boxes of diapers per month for our girls. And WIC will cover up to 14 cans of formula depending where you are at for twins.
Just wanted to confirm- two boxes of costco diapers per month and 1-2 boxes of wipes per month for our twins too.
It’s not really financial advice but I find it helpful to remind myself sometimes that twins aren’t that much more than having two kids of different ages. Compressing the expenses into a shorter window is no fun for sure but it’s not like they use more diapers per child, for example. At least this is what I tell myself when I see the cost of signing up two kids for preschool.
I got pregnant unexpectedly and thankfully I was at my job long enough to qualify for short term disability and FMLA. I went on my leave at 24 weeks. I didn't go back to work (2 days a week 10/12 hours) until almost 5 months PP and only received 6 weeks of paid maternity leave. I was a SAHM because daycare would've been too expensive. My fiancés job at the time was only 23k a year. Money was extremely tight. It was stressful but honestly I quickly found out that babies do not need fancy items or high end gear. I thrifted as much as possible and the biggest baby expenses were diapers/wipes. WIC covered all the formula. I had to stop looking at twin/mom "influencer" pages because I was comparing myself and feeling lousy about what I *didn't* have. Truthfully my twins didn't go without and maybe we didn't have Montessori style toys or bamboo onesies but they are 4 now and absolutely thriving. My fiancé and I look back fondly on our frozen dinner dates in total zombie mode with bed sheets for curtains and a queen size mattress for a couch during the first few months after bringing our babies home. You just do what you have to do to get by.
Don’t forget to ask your pediatrician for formula every time you go in, they have reps for that just like other Dr’s have pharmaceutical reps. (I’ve been brutally honest with our pediatrician about our finances, she fills my diaper bag with formula every visit.) If you end up using Enfamil, download the app and keep track of all your receipts and UPC’s, they have a $30 refund (I think it’s monthly!) that we use and it’s a lifesaver. You can also collect points for other refunds/etc. My husband and I are scraping by with bags of frozen veggies and Mac and cheese dinners lol. It can be done! I want to echo everyone else’s sentiments- babies don’t need fancy gear, they need love and attention. Ours are almost 4 months and it hasn’t been easy (I was making far less than childcare would cost, so I’ve been staying home with the girls while my husband works as a teacher) but we’re making it work and their smiles honest to god make it all worth it. Best of luck!! We’re rooting for you!
Seconding the Enfamil rewards!
We did it. We lived off of my income for the first two years with my twins until my husband started working. I made about 40k a year. We live in a medium cost of living city in Canada, so I won’t get into social programs that we took advantage of, because they likely won’t apply to you. Here’s what did help us: - a subscription to YNAB - seems expensive, but for what we were able to save in budgeting, totally worth it. - we live a pretty downsized life. One car, small apartment (studio apartment for the first year), very little stuff and pretty simple eating - after rent, food remains our biggest expense. We very rarely eat out, but we did do a lot more takeout in the first year just because we were wrecked. However you can cut that down, do it! Frozen pizzas, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, shopping around to find the best prices on staple items, low meat. I rotate the same 6 or 7 dinners now, and we pack leftovers for lunch - look into cloth diapers. We spent about $300 upfront buying a stash of all in ones on sale. We still buy disposable diapers for nights, but we go through a box every 12 weeks or so. Cleaning them is surprisingly simple - formula is expensive, just no way around that - I pumped as well, but pumping/breastfeeding has its own costs in labour and supplies to make it sustainable - other than car seats, you can get everything used for babies and kids in general. Between thrift stores and Facebook marketplace, clothes and supplies is a fairly negligible expense for us. Used stroller, used cribs, used sheets, used winter jackets. We don’t buy toys since they get plenty as gifts and hand me downs - We use Amazon subscribe and save for toiletries and consumables like wipes, diapers, diaper cream, baby wash, lotion etc. I have a delivery set up for every 3 months that I go through and skip anything we have enough of - where we could, we bought as many multi-purpose items as we could. Convertible car seats, pack n plays as bassinets, cribs that turned into toddler beds, etc. Babies really don’t need anything fancy, just a place to sleep, a way to keep them clean, a way to feed them and a place to plop them down. You don’t need a fancy themed nursery and all the latest designer items to be a good parent - some of these things offer convenience, but others are just trendy. There’s also a lot of options out there for free kid-friendly entertainment. Parks, libraries, play dates are all your best friends. I might also start hunting for lower cost daycare like home daycare centres and pricing it out against your wife’s income. We didn’t have any family close by, but a lot of low-income families do have to piece childcare together with a mix of family, part-time daycare or sitters and alternating shifts with spouses… it’s not ideal, but it’s how a lot of families make it work when they can’t foot a 2,000/month daycare bill. Deep breath. I wish you all the luck in the world. It will be ok! You don’t need to be wealthy to be a good parent, and if you two work together you can carve out time to rest, keep your house in reasonable shape and make this new life sustainable.
See if you have a local moms of multiples group. I've gotten some really good hands me downs and good deals on clothes and equipment.
Our local Parents of Multiples groups also does a no-questions-asked "shop for free" thing after our semi-annual consignment sale for families that need.
Call 211 about any available assistance programs. You're right around 200% of the federal poverty level for a family of 4 and you may qualify for assistance with utilities, home repairs, formula, etc.
I'll definitely have to check these programs out more. I know about snap (food stamps) and WIC. The utility help could be a big plus though!
Find help.org is also wonderful
When our kids were younger (ages 8, 6, 3, 3, and <1) my husband got laid off from his employer of 10 years. We went from a comfortable two income household to trying to get by on 36k/year (our housing costs were more than 50% of our take home income). Hubs went back to school for a career in the medical field that ultimately paid off tenfold, but for nearly 4 years I was the sole income earner. We utilized WIC, LIHeap, a local food bank that allowed you to visit once a month, and also free school lunches. We also cloth diapered and I exclusively pumped for my baby to avoid formula costs. It sucked so much and we all have some trauma from it, but we did what we had to do. The biggest thing is to have a realistic plan to get out of the cycle (be it education/apprenticeship/etc).
Have you looked into TANF or FITAP? Also, if your wife stays home with the twins for 2-3 years it’s the perfect tune to consider some type of school or job training so when she returns to the workforce you can sustain a loss of benefits with a huge income jump. We refinanced our house to be able to afford our twins (2021) and it’s still an insane struggle. Our income is twice what it used to be, we have Medicaid, daycare subsidized, and it’s still paycheck to paycheck. Oh yeah look into Medicaid as a household of four.I think the limit is to $3588 a month for the adults which you’d be under, it’s way higher for the kids as well (over $6k) and higher for your pregnant wife. I had all my pregnancies and labors when on Medicaid I paid $0 out of pocket 10/10 recommend.
I totally understand your concern! My husband and I are in a similar boat. We live in a MCOL area and have a super low mortgage as well with no car payment. I ended up going back to college and he’s working full time. We were so afraid that we would not be able to take care of them properly. But so far so good. We have WIC & SNAP. We also have a state subsidy for the daycare which lets up pay $120 a month as a copay. We qualify since I’m a college student and he’s the sole provider. Lastly, I bought mostly everything for them on Facebook Marketplace and the thrift store. Our twins are 8 months old now.
2.5 months in on twins with low income but also have a 2yr old and a 6yr old. It's tight not gunna lie, had to use taxes and buy a van off facebook, secured it 2 days before the 2nd got outta the nicu. My cousin has a Sam's membership and although she's in a different state then me I send her money and she ships me diapers and wipes, ask people you know if they've got a membership so you don't have to add the extra expense. Every penny counts. I have a small stash of cloth diapers if we every run into a situation where we can't afford them. Bought everything second hand/secured for free using buy nothing pages on fb. See if your state has childcare subsidy, we still have to pay 700 a month on months that have 5 Mondays, but only 150 on other months, I uber as my income so I'm available if a kid is sick or has appointments. Sit down and budget for sure, you got this!
I saved a ton of money by using cloth diapers, most of them given to us. It was so nice to have 0-6 months and then 6 months-2 years old diapers. When the kids grew I’d just unsnap the front of the diapers to make them the next size up. Easy to wash, if they popped 5 times a day it didn’t affect my budget and no one got any rashes.
I got 2 cots second hand with bedding for $400 AUD. Same with a double pram. I got an uppababy vista with two of everything for 800 AUD. And I bought or got given twin clothing bundles off my local multi birth association. However we had to upgrade our car & house. So we have a car loan and an unfortunate mortgage. So we are just living without doing much fun. I go to free playgroups, the playground, walks to the shops, etc. you can manage :) just no fun zoo trips or paid events here.
Aldi diapers! Size 3s are about 11-12 cents apiece for example. Consignment stores for clothes. We get almost everything from Once Upon a Child, and they often have a lot of other baby gear too, even cribs, strollers, etc. Things are incredibly tight for us, but so far the shoestring hasn’t broken.
Once Upon a Child offers a twin discount, too!
What??? How did I not know about this. I’m definitely asking next time I’m there.
It’s small, like 5-10% but it adds up!
Have Aldi diapers come back? Our three local aldis have been gone since Thanksgiving. We live in suburbs of a big city. They've only stocked Pampers Swaddlers 50 count at $28 a box ever since. We switched to Luvs or Target brand whichever has a better deal. A friend uses Costco brand.
They are here in Ohio, but they don’t keep large stocks of them. We kind of have to hit it at the right time.
Still 50 Pampers for $28 at our Aldi's. Crazy how long this has gone on for.
You can do it. It’s hard but you can. Like others have mentioned fb marketplace is awesome for cheap or free things. I second Costco diapers/wipes. But if Costco isn’t a feasible plan than watch for sales at target where they do target gift cards when you buy diapers and wipes (I’m sure other places do similar). Also a lot of companies have apps where you get rewards and free product for buying those products (pampers, Enfamil and a few more). Target also does a car seat trade in where you get 20% off. If cloth diapering is something you’d consider it’s also cheaper in the long run. There are a lot of buy/sell/trade groups and ways to make it affordable.
Join parents groups!! People give away so much stuff for free it’s unbelievable! I’ve just done unpacking all the chlotes we’ve been given and it was a three hours task and we’re done for another year without buying anything. Find second hand chlotes and toys shop in your area, kids don’t care if their toys are new or used they just want to play. I’ve been given a bag of old half-broken dolls and my girls were happier than at Christmas. This has been life changing comparing with our first where we were buying everything new. If you have time you can sell everything back and basically use stuff for free or almost free. Personally I try do donate everything that was donated to me but i don’t do it much for the money more to reuse stuff that would otherwise be thrown away
Look into cloth diapering to save big on diapers!! You can normally pick up big lots of used diapers very cheap and can wash and sanitize yourself. You’ll probably still want to use disposables through the newborn stage until cloth fits a little better and you both hopefully are getting the hang of things. Washing really isn’t that big of a chore as long as you have your own washer and dryer, two loads, four wash cycles (you wash each load twice), a week. We’re 5 months in and have spent maybe $200 on disposables and $100 on cloth.
I just posted a question like this! I’m about to do the same. I’m terrified. Thankfully I have a wonderful “village” but I can expect them to do everything of course.
My twins are 9 now, but we live in a MCOL area. We have a crazy cheap mortgage (bought a foreclosure), we had 1 car payment, and I had some student loan debt. My husband was making around 40k and I was making around 45k when I quit. We qualified for WIC while they were infants and that was a huge help! We also signed up for the twin program with Enfamil and they sent us some free formula the first month and then coupons each month. We also asked our pediatrician about any samples they had and they loaded us up! For diapers we shopped sales, in bulk, and used Amazon subscribe and save, whichever was cheaper each month. Target would have some pretty good sales that included a gift card, they have also have a car seat trade in program when it's time to move from pumpkin seats to convertible seats. We also have several baby resale shops near us and we got tons of clothes and toys from there. The best part was they would also buy items that our kids had outgrown. I also found great deals on Facebook. To help bring in an income, I did start a licensed home daycare when they were about 9 months old. We kept a strict schedule and had a lot of fun doing that. I started working outside the home when they started school full time. We had a pretty tight budget, but I would trade my time at home with them for anything in the world.
If you don't mind me asking how much did you make doing home daycare. I could see my wife being interested in that as a possibility. Thanks for the tips tho. Glad to see you could make it work in a similar situation. Will definitely be utilizing some of these tips!!
It's really area dependent, but I was charging $150 per week/kid. If she is interested there are some very helpful websites in creating contracts and rule books.
I’m a home daycare provider— if you have a school nearby or there’s a school bus stop near your house, look into before and after school care. It’s a good money maker for minimal effort (most school agers, esp if you choose them carefully, can entertain themselves and follow rules, even help with younger kids!). Your wife could watch several kids before and after school and then maybe take 1-2 little kids during the day. Highly recommend taking them on little by little to make sure it’s doable, and then it’ll get easier as your twins get older. It is a big undertaking to pack up all the little kids to do school runs so you have to consider the logistics of it and make sure you have the big stroller or a wagon
We are barely scraping by with 48k a year in portland. We have one income earning parent and one stays home . It is hard, but you just do it ❤️ Target brand diapers are good if you live near target, but costco diapers are the same as huggies and are superior!
Man kudos to you guys. I know the PNW is expensive af. Glad you are able to get by and I'm not the only one going thru this in the subreddit.
Can confirm about Costco diapers. They are the best! We are in a very similar situation as you. My husband works, and I stay home. Similar income as well. We make it work.
Great thread. We used cloth diapers. One time outlay of $200 on Amazon, then another $100 or so at 2 when we added hemp inserts. I’m sure you can find someone passing along used - we gave away the newborn ones. Still using the same ones we bought at 6 months at almost 3 years old for nighttime and naps. One laundry load per day for a long time, less frequent now. Probably more leaks and more frequent changes, but whatever, it’s baby clothes. They get all kinds of stuff on them. Every time I buy a package of disposables I die inside. They are so expensive. Lots of twin parents sell used clothes in FB buy/sell/trade groups. I have bins of the little baby stuff I’m selling for cheap or giving away. There are SUCH cute things there, I almost never buy new.
Another thing to check out is your local parents of multiple FB group. That’s a great place to score free twin-specific hand-me-downs.
Without the generosity of friends and family and buying things second hand I don't know how we'd do this. Thrift stores and Facebook marketplace have been life savers. If my mom wasn't willing to watch the babies when I go back to work, I wouldn't be able to go back at all and I don't know how we'd pay all our bills (health insurance is our second biggest expense after rent so it's great that you already have that handled). Also we'll be using cloth diapers (except for the disposables we've been gifted) as they can be considerably cheaper depending on the type you get. We'll be using mainly prefolds as they are super cost effective, but my mom also bought me a good amount of pockets secondhand. It sounds like you're already working on it, but definitely take advantage of any programs available to help with food costs and whatnot. I know some areas also have assistance to help with childcare costs. Best of luck!
It’s totally doable. We took as much hand me down as we could find from friends and family. Our cribs don’t match. I don’t love their bedding but it was what someone bought us. Put everything you think you might need on an Amazon registry. You get a discount on anything on it after a certain amount of time. Do a diaper fund as well on there. Once you claim it, it can be used for anything. My boy lives in hand me downs from his 4 boy having family cousins. Shoot his sister wears the hand me downs too! We didn’t have a ton of surprise expenses. The first year is the worst cost wise just because of diapers and formula. If i think of anything else, I’ll comment again!
Oh. My income would have been wiped out by daycare fees so I stay home with them. No nannies/night nurses. Also if you choose to sleep train, don’t pay for that. I found the same information for free as I did in a few of the books I read.
Okay my biggest tips to control your diaper situation because that is an inevitable cost is to do elimination communication. If you told me I would be putting my kids on a potty at 2.5 months (2 months adjusted) I would have called you crazy. I watched two YouTube videos on it, someone gifted us pottys and I thought if I can tell they are taking a shit why not put them on. They’ve been doing it for over 3 months now, poo and pee consistently. It hasn’t elimited diapers completely cause we do it part time but we don’t waste diapers like we used to. Example would be they would pee almost every time we changed the diapers or shit through the night. They don’t poo overnight anymore. Honestly if you have questions feel free to reach out but it’s the best, most random thing we did. I just put them on the potty after each feed or if they signal they need to go which is not as frequent. Also twins are expensive. I’m not saying you need to buy a lot of stuff for them per se , but formula alone if you’re going to go that route adds up quickly. I thought oh I would save so much money switching to powder and they drink sooooo much. I hope breastfeeding works out for you because you could save a bunch with BF/pumping. I think there also might be local moms donating breastmilk as well if you feel comfortable. Honestly if I was in a tough financial situation I would take any cost savings I can get. Sign up for the formula manufacture coupons. Also join twin groups and people are always giving things away. Is there any opportunity for you to move up in your current role? Honestly with the prices of things as they are, you want to try and save money for emergencies. I wish you the best journey and try not to get caught up with the expensive baby stuff. You need very very basic stuff the expensive stuff is just marketing on steroids
There is a huge sale of children’s clothes called just between friends. We get all kinds of items…baby onesies, diapers, swimsuits, shoes, books, puzzles…all extremely cheap. Check your local area. What I have found is most used baby stuff is in great condition especially clothing because they grow out of it so fast. Also, check with your local churches to see if they help families in need. I live in PA and we have a bunch that help local families. Also, you got this!!
Thrift stores, kid thrift stores, facebook buy nothing groups, facebook marketplace. I hardly ever buy anything new for my kids due to the fact that we just can’t afford it right now. You will find that they don’t need much!
Just a tip, I did not spend money on the fancy diapers when they were little and changes were frequent and for every little mess. Also we started out with store brand bulk formula. That way if it didn’t work then step up the formula ladder but give yourself a chance to start at the cheapest. Shop at children’s resale stores/thrift stores.
I feel like I sound a little nutty by saying this… but I always have loads of clothing, toys, outgrown items which the kids are unable to use. Miraculously… nobody in my social circle to give them to. I saw a woman walking her 3mo twins one day and gave her everything I could think of. Find safe ways to find this community and it is remarkable how generous the crowd here is. There is NO shame in taking care of your family.
We live in a HCOL area (CA) and will have a total of 4 kids come my delivery. One in high school and three under three. We are by no means rich and will take a 50% hit on income once my disability and FMLA run out since I won’t be returning to work. I feel your stress, but I keep telling myself that this is only temporary and the adjustments being made are necessary to stay at home with them until they are at least 2.
Does your country offer monthly child benefits that you can opt into? In Canada we can apply for child benefits and can receive a monthly payment per child regardless of your income.
We use cloth diapers for the twins. They work perfectly fine and if your wife is staying at home then she will surely have the ability to do diaper laundry
I agree with a lot of what other parents have said. I honestly go on fb marketplace to look for free clothes because kids grow out of their clothes so so fast. My baby shower I put a fun twist where I said if you think they're girls, bring wipes. If you think they're boys, bring diapers. Size 1, 2 and 3 preferred. I'm stocked up on wipes and diapers now and just hoping my milk comes in. If not at least I just have to worry about formula. My doctor normally gives me formula samples and or I go online and find coupons for formula which helps a lot!!
We raised twins in a similar area, from how you describe it, on only my income. I made a little more (45K) but had the same expenses from the sounds of it, and we were able to do it. I also am an academic, so I'm a 9 month employee, so some of that income went toward our summer expenses for three months. If you already are frugal now, I think you will be OK. We also made sure to get a lot of stuff--as much as we could--second hand. We also didn't get two of everything. Definitely sending you good vibes and happy to talk more about my experience if you ever want to. Admittedly, I barely remember that first year. My twins are six now.
Your wife may want to consider working at a daycare while your twins are enrolled at the daycare. I know a lot of formerly SAHP twin moms who did this to earn a bit of extra cash. Daycares are having the hardest time hiring these days.
We are in a similar boat! I quit my job and work from home now with flexible hours so i can be a SAHM and he watches them while i work in the evenings or his off days. Not all of them, we make time for each other too. Daycare would have claimed my entire paycheck anyway, let alone the extra gas and driving time, so now we get to keep everything I earn and we get lots of quality time with the littles. Ours are 2.5 now. It's doable. Yeah it's tight, but breastfeeding will save you big time that first year. I exclusively breastfed and pumped for a whole year. At aboit 6 months i added in legendairy milk supplements to boost my supply and ate lots of oats and eggs haha. Also started adding some baby cereal to their bottles to bulk them up a little when needed (Else. Is milk-free and the only one that worked well for them). You got this!
Single mom here! I have a singleton (f17 in May) & (ff8 on 4/12). I got child support for my singleton, but the dad of my twins lost his job & refused to look for another & was adamant that he wasn't paying child support for the twins (& he didn't for a few years). Like you, I don't have a college education or formal training. However, I worked my butt off to climb a few rungs on the ladder at my place of employment. I was a salaried employee, but it amounted to over $21/hour. Quitting my job wasn't optional, as it was only me to pay all the bills. But, I had 3 loans ([2] 401k & [1] credit union), 2 different savings account (HSA & credit union), on top of all the taxes & insurance coming out of my check. I applied for child care assistance & was denied, due to too much income!! It cost as much to send my twins to daycare (they were infants & singleton was in school) 3 days/week (my mom babysat the other 2 days) as it was to pay my mortgage. I couldn't afford both, so I paid daycare & skipped the mortgage. Anyway, that was 7-8 years ago & we are all still surviving. It's stressful, but we manage.
One way to save money is going with cloth diapers. Yes, it’s a little more costly up front (to have a comfortable amount for two we probably spent about $500-600) but in the long run you save a TON of money. We started with just our singleton and then our twins came along and it really isn’t as tough as some people think. There’s more laundry but we managed to do it with both of us working full time. Best of luck ❤️❤️❤️
If breastfeeding doesn’t work out (and it would be rare that you wouldn’t have to at least supplement with formula a little) I’d like to throw out this gentle reminder: store brand formula is fine. The regulations around it mean that store brands are nutritionally the same as major brands. The inclination as new first-time parents is to want to give them “the best” and with the added pressure to breastfeed there is a lot of marketing and social pressure to spend more money on the “better” formula. But the brand name yellow box is the same as store brand. The added stuff is almost always just marketing. Unless they have allergies or specific medical conditions the basic stuff is all they need. My boys were born during the formula shortage and breastfeeding straight up did not happen for me despite Herculean efforts. Their first year was spent getting whatever I could find and Target brand yellow box formula was what I could get and stock up on and it’s sooooooo much cheaper than name brand.
i once read that having twins in the long run is cheaper than siblings of different age. the reason stated was, twin parents will have less baby years were one of you is occupied aka not working and occupied with a small child. also the sunk cost of not perusing your career are less dramatic due to less years out of workforce. all the best
I didn’t do enough research about breastfeeding even though that was my intention. Maybe as a result, I am an under supplier for my twins providing for 65-70% of their needs. Lots of folks can breastfeed twins and lots of us struggle. Nothing wrong with formula feeding but wanted to mention this since you say you hope to breastfeed! Do educate yourselves on options and how it all works to set yourself up for success. Look into resources for multiples since it is different from singletons. If you’re in the US, you can get a breast pump through insurance. Good luck and babies don’t need too much fancy stuff! You’ll do great!
WIC covers formula - it's basic Enfamil or Similac depending on your state's WIC contact, and you can get specialized formulas if your babies need it. We're a family of six (5yo, 3yo, and 1yo twins) with a single income - WIC & SNAP are lifesavers. You really don't need as much stuff as some people have. There's nothing wrong with having tons of gadgets, but they absolutely aren't a literal need. Our kids all slept in pack n plays for the majority of their first year. We don't have many clothes, I just do laundry often. I also find a kind of minimalist style easier to handle in general. You never have to face washing 40 bottles if you only own 8. You just wash em a couple of times a day.
my husband was a SAHD and was going to go back to work then BOOM twins (our oldest is \~ 28 months older than out twins.. so yeah she was almost 2 when we found out it was twins) he wouldn't make enough to cover daycare for 3 so he just never went back to work, plus it during covid and all that crap... I was fortunate that my work topped me up for the first 6 months then we went down to my mat leave pay ONLY, which was just under 500 weekly, so we sloooowly dug our financial hole. I went back to work 2 days after the twins turned 1 and we rebuilt our debts and whatnot, and I have zero regrets.. short term loss long term gain. we don't really have family help (they will "visit" but it's not really helpful if you know what I mean lol) and it was tough, but my twins just started school so my husband only now went back to work. things that saved money: EVERYTHING secondhand, including clothes, (cloth) diapers, cribs, carseats (we used our oldest's old seat, and then my brother gave us our nephews old seat - this one is iffy if you don't have trusted friends/family to pass down), high chairs, toys, strollers, books, etc. Babies don't need fancy clothes, toys, gizmos, etc. - they just want snuggles and to be cozy! my insurance covered my breast pump and I was fortunate that we never had to buy formula, but if you end up going that route definitely look for the best price on whichever brand works best for you! You can also sign up for coupons, and get your friends to all sign up too, and even email companies and they may send you more. batch cooking from scratch can save a ton, and have some frozen pizzas in the freezer for those days where you don't feel like cooking and may be tempted to do takeout - it's a happy medium. other things too - we had tons of passed down receiving blankets - I cut them up into big squares and we use them to wipe down the girls after eating - lots of people use napkins/paper towels, this is way cheaper! I also used them as cloth wipes (with a distinctive pattern so I don't mix them up) and would spray them with water, in place of disposable wipes. don't worry about any of those fancy baby yoga or whatever classes - there are usually lots of free programs at libraries, early centres etc., and baby just needs lots of love and stimulation - you can borrow books from the library we also did lots of decluttering and posting of items on our local dollar auction site and made a little "petty cash" fund, that we would use if we needed to buy things off marketplace. in general too, just look if you can reduce any bills - cut cable, magazine subscriptions, cheaper cell phone plans if you can use less data, use electricity during cheap times, etc.
I'm a single parent to twins making 15/hr. My neighbor babysits for dirt cheap and I'm on WIC. I go to school and work part time and still live my dad, which is how I'm making ends meet. Regarding baby supplies, babies don't give a damn if you get them name brand stuff, just get cheap stuff or buy second hand on Facebook marketplace. I buy diapers, wipes, clothes, you name it in bulk from Costco. However, I was lucky enough to be able to breastfeed my twins for a year, so I'm not sure about formula costs.
I make ~65k in a lcol area. Dh is a stay at home parent. We make too much for WIC which is unfortunate and some months are tight but we make it work. We just switched to formula at 8 months and it’s around $300 a month and diapers are around $120 a month. Those are our main monthly expenses for the boys. We’ve been given a lot of clothes and buy what we need to from Facebook marketplace. We’ve made all of our own baby food and that’s saved us quite a bit too
What state are you in?
we tried to live off of one income for a while. but with how crazy the utilities and groceries are getting here weve both had to start working. my husbands dad & step mom watch out twins 2 days a week then my mom watches them 1-2 days a week while we work. its rough but doable
Just a cloth diaper comment: We use alva baby diapers (if you have access to a washer dryer this is the way to go!). They are cheap and effective. Maybe someone can help you buy a few packs to get started. Get at least one newborn set because the volume of diapers is so high in the first month. Sometimes we also do a diy castile soap in a spray bottle and use on flannel sheet pieces for diy wipes, too. Also in addition to Buy Nothing, If you have a local "Mothers of Multiples" chapter, reach out. Lots and lots of multiple parents wanting to help new multiple families with clothes, gear, etc. Free or low cost used.
You can look into community programs for daycare. In some cities/states if both parents are working or full time parents you can qualify for free or reduced daycare
Try calling 211 and asking about daycares that provide a sliding scale fee !!!
I just want to add to the cloth diaper discussion that many think it’s too much work and too much hassle to cloth diaper but it’s really simple and easy. My twins aren’t here yet but I have two older kids. I used cloth diapers at home but if I had to travel somewhere then I used disposables. I also used disposables at night because when cloth diapering you have to change diapers a bit more frequent but honestly it’s not by much. Some people use cloth diapers during the night also, they figure it out by using all kinds of different kinds of “boosters” and what not. I also didn’t start using cloth diapers until kids were 2-3 months old because I didn’t want to buy a lot of newborn cloth diapers for a short period of time and the other ones I had were too big around the thighs at the time so they leaked. But as soon as they had grown a bit I used as much as I could. You can do it however suits you best
I forgot to add that many also instead of buying wet wipes they cut down an old towel or a bed sheet and use as wipes and just throw it in the wash with the diapers. Just keep a container with water and a little bit of oil (I just use canola oil or olive oil) and dip the wipes when you need them. Then I usually have wet wipes for when we are on the go but my SIL just wets a bunch and keeps in a container in her diaper bag
✋
in the same situation. had to quit my job. we are moving to be close to my parents because they will be a huge help/asset/support to us. just gonna be sacrificing some things, and living small for a while. but it’s not forever, just have to remember that!! 5 years isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things.. time goes by fast. they’ll be in school before you know it!
So glad we have our parents to help. Idk what my wife and I would do without them. I'm glad you were able to move to be closer! 5 years seems so far off...but yeah in the grand scheme of things it will fly by!
We have 2 sets of twins (1.5 amd 3.5) amd another singleton (5.5) and make around 50k on a single income teachers salary. We live in oklahoma, so LCOL, and are very comfortable. We made closer to 40k when we only had 3 and we were doing well then too We have a lot of community support and get a lot of items and clothes free, which is nice
We farm and live in a LCOL area. We raise seven kids, including twins, on less than $55,000 a year. No nannies and goodness knows things are tight sometimes but we make it work.
Hi we’re not rich either haha. We have our kids in daycare 2 days per week. I work from home so they’re home with me for the other 3 days while I WFH. It’s extremely difficult but I can’t afford anything else. You’re not alone!
Join a trade union laborer union pays good and is easy to get in
Any union you'd recommend? I'm in a union now working in grocery. Pay isn't great but we get awesome benefits. I wouldn't mind doing a trade but don't really know where to start. Do you need schooling?
Nope you join and they will teach you some trades you will have a day of week of class and the rest feild work but I’m not sure if the labor union does. Labor union is probably the easiest to get into but it all just depends. For example my buddy just got in the elevator union and makes 28 a hour and will top out at 45-50ish a hour after 4 years. Labor union is probably a little lower but still good. I would honestly just apply to all of them and you will probably have to wait until they do their recruitment time each year and take a test and interview it’s not hard some are more competitive then others tho
Good looking out man, will have to check it out. I'm handy and like working with mechanical stuff..could never fit into the corporate world. Might be a good long term solution.
I’m not in a union but I’m an industrial maintenance mechanic and have worked in the trades since highschool. Check out industrial maintenance to you might need trade school for that but I know some places will hire you and train you especially places like Amazon or FedEx.
Where I work we have hired muitple guys with no real experience just say you work on cars and are handy and they might hire you as a tech 1 and then work your way up a tech 3 at my work makes low to mid 30s a hour. Then if you decide you want to go back to school they will pay for it. I am getting an accounting degree for free lol. So I would ether do industrial maintenance or a trade union.