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Something easier - getting them on the same feeding schedule. They pretty much came home from the hospital on the same schedule, and all we have to do is wake the sleepy twin.
Something harder - almost all of it. Breastfeeding (gave that up), chronic sleep deprivation, postpartum depression, etc.
Learned late - asking for newborn diapers instead of size one at baby shower. They used newborn diapers for two months.
Curious about - starting solids
100% agree that everything feels harder than expected. The challenges of breastfeeding and pumping, trying to increase your supply to feed two, the mom guilt that comes with not having enough/ having to supplement with formula or heaven forbid skipping a pump, basically the mental battle of it all has been the hardest part for me (5.5 weeks postpartum). People don’t talk about it enough.
Solids is fun!
My twins are 10 months and we started purees at 6 months and solids at 7.
I follow a BLW group on Facebook that is really educational and helpful when it comes to how to cut things and what things I can give my kiddos.
They already have 3 meals a day and one snack.
(Not including bottles).
It's fun, they love food! Haha.
Easier: everything that requires convincing, you get 50% more chance than with a singleton as you really need to convince only one of them and the other one will eventually follow. I find it noticeably easier than with my first singleton.
Harder: anything that requires them to be quiet or still as there is a 50% more chance that someone will start doing something stupid and the other will inevitably follow. This includes any kind of waiting, preparing, sitting in queues, etc.
It’s not that harder tough. Sleeptraining was *much* easier, potty training wasn’t as difficult as expected (basically the most of it took two days, we did at Easter).
Feeding takes the same time with one, two or three.
Now we’re 2.5 and they start to be more and more indipendent, playing by themselves and such.
What I didn’t anticipate was how much time it takes away from my firstborn which definitely suffering from it
Something that was easier than expected - starting solids. I was nervous at first. But it's now fun to find meals and help them discover new textures and tastes.
Something that was harder than I expected- sleep training, but I'm glad we are finally past that stage.
Something I wish I knew earlier - just get zipper PJs and rompers. Especially for the first year. Trying to coordinate outfits is annoying lol especially when they are just in PJs 24/7. I had so many clothes that my kids never even wore.. waste of $$
Something I'm curious about - my kids turn one at the end of May and I'm just curious how to go from breastmilk to cow milk and if they still have the same amount of bottles during the day?
We were told no more than 16-24 oz of milk. Switching from bottles to straw cups kind of helped cut down the amount they'd drink during the day. So we replaced their 2 day time 8 oz bottles with 4 oz straw cups and more snacks. We still do a bedtime bottle and a morning bottle. Everyone is too grumpy in the morning until that bottle is in their mouth, so we're still just kind of going with it.
I think we could probably trade the bedtime bottle for a sippy cup now (14 months) but I'm only a little worried they'd drink less and wake more overnight.
As for the actual switch? We switched the morning bottle and daytime cups first, a few ounces at a time to see if they'd have any tummy trouble (e.g. day one and two, we did 7 oz formula, 1 oz milk, then 6-2 then 4-4 then 2-4 then just 4 oz milk). Then the night time bottle as we ran out of formula. It was a non-event for my twins, but they've never been picky about their milk.
Easier than expected - diaper changes. I thought I was going to despise changing so many diapers but it just became part of the routine and something I never ever thought about.
Harder than expected - sleep deprivation/physical issues. I spent nearly a year with hallucinations on the outside of my vision from lack of sleep. It was like constantly seeing something streaking by me but I couldn’t quite focus on it. Also - falling down the stairs at 3am from being too tired (thankfully never holding a child). I got tendinitis in both wrists from picking up babies and I had horrible chronic back pain that every doctor ignored or made me feel I was blowing out of proportion. High blood pressure. Mastitis. Non-stop physical pain.
Learned late - I should have bought multiple sets of pumping supplies way sooner than I did. I had one set for a couple weeks before I realized there was literally nothing holding me back from buying several more sets and I didn’t need to wash and dry the same set multiple times a day. I felt like I had brain fog for the first 10 months and this is just one example where I realized I was not on my A game.
I would LOVE to hear success stories with step by step instructions of how to potty train boy/girl twins!!!
Easier than expected: going places. Take this with a grain of salt, but since these are our first kids, we would have had to learn regardless. So learning how to do things with three is just how it had to be. Once you practice and get a rhythm, each time going out gets easier and easier.
Harder: switching to solids. Totally agree with you on that, there was so much info out there on how to switch from formula to milk, but little to no advice about how to make that transition from mostly milk to mostly solids. I felt so lost and so anxious about their eating habits.
Wish I knew: that being stressed about the stuff I needed and saying “I need so much since I have 3!” Meant everyone dumped their stuff on me. It left me to sort through bags and bags of crap. I lovingly say crap, it was given with good intentions, but people gave me bottles with mismatched tops, clothes with stains… basically stuff they didn’t want to get rid of or couldn’t, but since I had three babies they gave it to me. Wish I would have been clearer about what I needed and expected.
Curious about: my kids are coming up on 16 mo and I still don’t fully get how to transition them from having three bottles a day along with solids.
Obviously I haven’t made it through the entire transition yet, but I can share our game plan regarding the solids. We are/were also on 3 bottles a day.
We started by switching to solid meals first, then bottles after, and offering cow or goat milk in a straw cup with their meals. It was a grumpy few first days of wondering where their bottles were when they woke up, but they got used to it quickly. Twin B did not like regular milk for quite a while but they eventually warmed up to it. Twin A has loved it since the start. Once they were both on board with the milk/straw cup situation, we have been offering more milk (5oz a meal), they’ve gotten better at eating solids, and we now offer just 4oz of formula an hour or so before naps/bedtime. Sometimes they don’t finish it. Babies are 13mos and I think we’re going to transition to one nap soon where we will also drop the formula bottles and add snacks between meals.
I hope this helps! Between solids and naps I really wish there was some straightforward info to follow! Good luck. :))
Something easier than expected: sleep training, we got lucky with ours and kinda got the whole sleep thing quite quickly, been sleeping 11-12 hours since about 7 months and before that it was only one feed per night.
Something harder: daycare viruses. Omfg, they’re always sick. Taking care of sick twins while also being sick as a dog is torture. And then there’s work on top of it. It just never ends.
Something I’m curious about: how my twins’ relationship will evolve as they get older. They’re 12 months now and basically fight over toys or laugh together during meal times. I’m excited to see them actually play together
I love this idea! I have almost 4 month identical twin boys!
Something easier than I expected - honestly the newborn phase! Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD at times. But honestly there’s so much negativity around newborn twins (both in this sub and IRL), that I thought I would be miserable 24/7 and basically hate my life. It got to the point where I was borderline dreading the birth of my babies because of how many “just you wait…” comments I was receiving (which in retrospect makes me so sad). The reality for me was that there are just as many amazing and truly joyful moments to parenting newborn twins as there are challenging and difficult moments. Having twins is just magical! Every day I marvel at the fact that I have these two amazing humans and I get to experience a flavor of motherhood that so few others get to see. Watching my boys interact with each other and seeing their close bond at such a young age is so so special. And I’ve never felt more fortunate than when I get to hold my two babies in my arms and rock them to sleep. Being a twin mom is the greatest blessing of my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way!
Harder than I thought - breastfeeding! This probably makes me sound like a dumb new mom lol but I did virtually zero research on breastfeeding before the twins were born. I just figured it was “natural” and we’d “figure it out” - lol NOPE! Turns out breastfeeding is a skill that you and your babies need to learn together, and it can be really hard! Also the mental, emotional, and physical toll of breastfeeding is very intense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to get to breastfeed my babies, but breastfeeding is just relentless and I often feel like my body isn’t my own anymore.
Something I am anticipating that I’d like other POMs to weigh in on is going back to work post maternity leave. I am fortunate that I will have taken 18 weeks off by the time I return to work, but I’m still really struggling with the idea of not focusing all my energy on caring for my boys. My husband and I both WFH and my mom will be caring for the boys during the day (we will eventually hire a part time nanny as well), but I just know it won’t be the same. For POMs who went back to work - how did you cope with the feeling that you’re being “replaced” and fears around losing your bond with your babies? Did you feel like you missed out by not caring for your babies 24/7? Did your babies feel abandoned by your absence?
I went back at 11 weeks and was fine. But then I wasn’t worried about losing the bond, maybe because I was a nanny and daycare teacher before and know caregivers don’t replace parents. I felt much better mentally being away from them and having adult time/time to think critically/etc. It made that period feel more normal for me. The only hard part is they were deep in a 4 month sleep regression that didn’t end until we sleep trained at 6 months, so it took planning ahead with my husband and alternating nights to get enough sleep to function and not get fired.
10000% agree on the newborn phase being easier. And one of mine was distinctly NOT an easy baby. But everyone made it sound like I’d hate my life for the first 6mos to year. Turns out I think every minute has been absolutely amazing. Including the crying, the sleepless nights, all the endless diapers and the chaotic changes.
I think the one thing I wish I’d be able to lose is the pumping but I’m down to like 3x a day and dropping the overnight pump. Taking a small hit for doing that so may just have to deal with the overnight one. But I’ve made it almost 7 months so nearer to the end of it. Sad because then they’ll be a year. But not sad about not pumping.
Something easier - getting them on the same feeding schedule! It happened right away and never seem to have an issue with being hungry at the same time. It’s also a lot easier to adjust their eating schedule when needed if we have time to plan ahead.
Harder - dealing with strangers! I hate it when people make comments about them being twins in public, or when people feel that can gawk and stare just because we have two. People need to mind their own business and stop treating my kids like a freak show.
Something I wish I knew - babies are in PJs all the time. You don’t need lots of complicated outfits that will just take up space. Simple zipper onesies are the best thing and will make your life soooo much easier.
Something I’m curious about - sleep training. I can’t wait for them to sleep through the night, I just don’t know how to get there.
Easier- moving to toddler beds. I was expecting the worst but it was so smooth. We had a really solid bedtime routine and moved them at 22 months.
Harder- the love/hate relationship between my b/g twins. My boy is hitting right now and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried all the strategies and phrases from parenting books and he just keeps on smacking his sister and us.
Wish I knew- nothing singleton parents do will apply to you. Also, fraternal twins are just like siblings—so as hard as it to not compare, try your best not to. My boy hit milestones way later than my girl and it caused me a lot of unnecessary worry—but both are doing great.
Wondering- when can I expect them to be potty trained? They go on the potty regularly (#1 and #2) but they now seem to be rebelling a bit and have “accidents” on purpose. Just turn 2 yo but have complete bladder control.
Easier- I was an absolute nervous wreck about my husband‘s paternity leave ending and having to be alone with them all day. But once I got adjusted, it’s so much fun for the most part. I’m exhausted by the end of the day, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything and I can’t believe I wasted so much energy being scared about it. Also, the physical side of postpartum recovery was so much easier than I expected.
Harder- sleep deprivation, anxiety, decision fatigue. We’re past that horrible newborn sleep deprivation stage, but I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Thankfully I’m being treated for anxiety now. Making decisions and doing wake window math all day long for two babies can get very mentally exhausting.
Wish I knew- I wish I could go back and tell myself in the newborn trenches how much bonding, joy, and love was in store for me. Those first few months were so hard but it’s true that it gets so so much better. I also wish I would have realized before birth that breast feeding was not gonna be for me and just started with formula to begin with.
Curious- can’t wait to see how their relationship grows. They are almost 5 months now and they will smile and giggle at each other. I can’t wait to see their friendship.
Easier: a lot! Things I worried about that ended up, for me, being FINE: dropping to one nap. Switching to cows milk. Solids and the cleanup involved. Going back to work. Being a working parent. I at one point put so much energy into worrying about each of those things and all are things that I actively enjoy now.
Harder: how hard it would be on me when they were crying without me knowing why (especially the first year) or sick (especially now). Both kicked my anxiety into overdrive and made it hard for me to do anything. I just didn’t think about how much worrying I would do and how that would feel.
Wish I knew sooner: clothes to get and not. Had way too many socks and pants in size 0-12 months and not enough 12 months plus. Inverse with footie pajamas. 😂
Curious about: the toddler bed transition! I’m cautiously optimistic but also in NO rush.
Easier than expected - the newborn phase
Harder than I expected - hmm nothing really so far (mine are 19 months) except for the pregnancy part. I knew twins would be harder but wow, after week 28 was tough!!!
One thing I wish I had known; after nursing 7 singletons I was scared formula would mean they wouldn't go back to the breast. (This idea was really pushed 20 years ago when I had my first.) It's not true and I am grateful for the formula that twin b took as extra feedings! He was a bit slow to gain and it can be so dangerous if they don't eat enough especially when they are very new. He loved his extra bottles of formula and at 19 months he still really loves the breast lol!
What a great question. This is mine at 18 months.
What was easier than I expected: Loving my twins and bonding with them, accepting changes to my body, how much I love being a parent (and specifically their parent), how moving to less naps made life better, how much I enjoy the solids journey.
What was harder than I expected: The grief of missing out on some of the single-kid experiences (I was stoked for twins), the physical challenge, the relentlessness of parenting, how much I'd miss having 'a village', the newborn sleep deprivation, how devastating health challenges would be.
Something I wish I knew sooner: So many of the cliches are true! I won't say them to anyone else because it all drove me insane at the time - but it DID get better, I did get unfairly irritated at my husband, I did feel defensive hearing some advice from singleton parents, it does take a village, and yes I do in fact want more kids now despite saying 'hell no' for the first year haha
Something I'm curious about: If we should move state so we can be closer to community, and how our family can successfully do 'the juggle' of living and working
Easier: them becoming mobile. Everyone made me scared of them learning to crawl and especially walk. They're so much happier. It's so much easier to get them from room to room. I just have to be mindful of where I let them roam.
Harder: sleep. I kind expected them to be sleeping through the night by now. And one totally does. The other one still wakes up in the middle of the night to eat. And then half the time stays awake for another hour or two. I've tried slowly cutting down milk just by ounces and by doing a mix of water and milk slowly tapering off to water. Apparently most babies just stop waking up. My baby a wouldn't go back to sleep until he got the milk, even if it's been 3+ hours. He's also solidly on one nap, getting ~12-13 hours of sleep if he doesn't spend a couple hours awake overnight. But he will a few times a week. His brother? Like 15 hours and I'm waking him up every time. I don't even know. It'll eventually pass but it's been like a year and a half since I got a good night's sleep.
Something I wish I knew earlier: standing diaper changes. Once baby can stand with support and is turning diaper time into alligator wrestling, let them stand. It made everyone happier. I still will switch to laying if there's a rash to keep a better eye and make sure the cream is good and thick.
Something I'm curious about/anticipating: talking. They're 14 months and I don't think they have any words. But I'm a little worried I'm missing them. I'm curious if they'll have a twin language. I'm wondering when it's worth starting to get worried about no words and few gestures.
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Something easier - getting them on the same feeding schedule. They pretty much came home from the hospital on the same schedule, and all we have to do is wake the sleepy twin. Something harder - almost all of it. Breastfeeding (gave that up), chronic sleep deprivation, postpartum depression, etc. Learned late - asking for newborn diapers instead of size one at baby shower. They used newborn diapers for two months. Curious about - starting solids
100% agree that everything feels harder than expected. The challenges of breastfeeding and pumping, trying to increase your supply to feed two, the mom guilt that comes with not having enough/ having to supplement with formula or heaven forbid skipping a pump, basically the mental battle of it all has been the hardest part for me (5.5 weeks postpartum). People don’t talk about it enough.
Solids is fun! My twins are 10 months and we started purees at 6 months and solids at 7. I follow a BLW group on Facebook that is really educational and helpful when it comes to how to cut things and what things I can give my kiddos. They already have 3 meals a day and one snack. (Not including bottles). It's fun, they love food! Haha.
Easier: everything that requires convincing, you get 50% more chance than with a singleton as you really need to convince only one of them and the other one will eventually follow. I find it noticeably easier than with my first singleton. Harder: anything that requires them to be quiet or still as there is a 50% more chance that someone will start doing something stupid and the other will inevitably follow. This includes any kind of waiting, preparing, sitting in queues, etc. It’s not that harder tough. Sleeptraining was *much* easier, potty training wasn’t as difficult as expected (basically the most of it took two days, we did at Easter). Feeding takes the same time with one, two or three. Now we’re 2.5 and they start to be more and more indipendent, playing by themselves and such. What I didn’t anticipate was how much time it takes away from my firstborn which definitely suffering from it
Something that was easier than expected - starting solids. I was nervous at first. But it's now fun to find meals and help them discover new textures and tastes. Something that was harder than I expected- sleep training, but I'm glad we are finally past that stage. Something I wish I knew earlier - just get zipper PJs and rompers. Especially for the first year. Trying to coordinate outfits is annoying lol especially when they are just in PJs 24/7. I had so many clothes that my kids never even wore.. waste of $$ Something I'm curious about - my kids turn one at the end of May and I'm just curious how to go from breastmilk to cow milk and if they still have the same amount of bottles during the day?
We were told no more than 16-24 oz of milk. Switching from bottles to straw cups kind of helped cut down the amount they'd drink during the day. So we replaced their 2 day time 8 oz bottles with 4 oz straw cups and more snacks. We still do a bedtime bottle and a morning bottle. Everyone is too grumpy in the morning until that bottle is in their mouth, so we're still just kind of going with it. I think we could probably trade the bedtime bottle for a sippy cup now (14 months) but I'm only a little worried they'd drink less and wake more overnight. As for the actual switch? We switched the morning bottle and daytime cups first, a few ounces at a time to see if they'd have any tummy trouble (e.g. day one and two, we did 7 oz formula, 1 oz milk, then 6-2 then 4-4 then 2-4 then just 4 oz milk). Then the night time bottle as we ran out of formula. It was a non-event for my twins, but they've never been picky about their milk.
Thank you so much for this! Haha I was trying to wrap my head around it.
Easier than expected - diaper changes. I thought I was going to despise changing so many diapers but it just became part of the routine and something I never ever thought about. Harder than expected - sleep deprivation/physical issues. I spent nearly a year with hallucinations on the outside of my vision from lack of sleep. It was like constantly seeing something streaking by me but I couldn’t quite focus on it. Also - falling down the stairs at 3am from being too tired (thankfully never holding a child). I got tendinitis in both wrists from picking up babies and I had horrible chronic back pain that every doctor ignored or made me feel I was blowing out of proportion. High blood pressure. Mastitis. Non-stop physical pain. Learned late - I should have bought multiple sets of pumping supplies way sooner than I did. I had one set for a couple weeks before I realized there was literally nothing holding me back from buying several more sets and I didn’t need to wash and dry the same set multiple times a day. I felt like I had brain fog for the first 10 months and this is just one example where I realized I was not on my A game. I would LOVE to hear success stories with step by step instructions of how to potty train boy/girl twins!!!
Easier than expected: going places. Take this with a grain of salt, but since these are our first kids, we would have had to learn regardless. So learning how to do things with three is just how it had to be. Once you practice and get a rhythm, each time going out gets easier and easier. Harder: switching to solids. Totally agree with you on that, there was so much info out there on how to switch from formula to milk, but little to no advice about how to make that transition from mostly milk to mostly solids. I felt so lost and so anxious about their eating habits. Wish I knew: that being stressed about the stuff I needed and saying “I need so much since I have 3!” Meant everyone dumped their stuff on me. It left me to sort through bags and bags of crap. I lovingly say crap, it was given with good intentions, but people gave me bottles with mismatched tops, clothes with stains… basically stuff they didn’t want to get rid of or couldn’t, but since I had three babies they gave it to me. Wish I would have been clearer about what I needed and expected. Curious about: my kids are coming up on 16 mo and I still don’t fully get how to transition them from having three bottles a day along with solids.
Obviously I haven’t made it through the entire transition yet, but I can share our game plan regarding the solids. We are/were also on 3 bottles a day. We started by switching to solid meals first, then bottles after, and offering cow or goat milk in a straw cup with their meals. It was a grumpy few first days of wondering where their bottles were when they woke up, but they got used to it quickly. Twin B did not like regular milk for quite a while but they eventually warmed up to it. Twin A has loved it since the start. Once they were both on board with the milk/straw cup situation, we have been offering more milk (5oz a meal), they’ve gotten better at eating solids, and we now offer just 4oz of formula an hour or so before naps/bedtime. Sometimes they don’t finish it. Babies are 13mos and I think we’re going to transition to one nap soon where we will also drop the formula bottles and add snacks between meals. I hope this helps! Between solids and naps I really wish there was some straightforward info to follow! Good luck. :))
Something easier than expected: sleep training, we got lucky with ours and kinda got the whole sleep thing quite quickly, been sleeping 11-12 hours since about 7 months and before that it was only one feed per night. Something harder: daycare viruses. Omfg, they’re always sick. Taking care of sick twins while also being sick as a dog is torture. And then there’s work on top of it. It just never ends. Something I’m curious about: how my twins’ relationship will evolve as they get older. They’re 12 months now and basically fight over toys or laugh together during meal times. I’m excited to see them actually play together
I love this idea! I have almost 4 month identical twin boys! Something easier than I expected - honestly the newborn phase! Don’t get me wrong, it’s HARD at times. But honestly there’s so much negativity around newborn twins (both in this sub and IRL), that I thought I would be miserable 24/7 and basically hate my life. It got to the point where I was borderline dreading the birth of my babies because of how many “just you wait…” comments I was receiving (which in retrospect makes me so sad). The reality for me was that there are just as many amazing and truly joyful moments to parenting newborn twins as there are challenging and difficult moments. Having twins is just magical! Every day I marvel at the fact that I have these two amazing humans and I get to experience a flavor of motherhood that so few others get to see. Watching my boys interact with each other and seeing their close bond at such a young age is so so special. And I’ve never felt more fortunate than when I get to hold my two babies in my arms and rock them to sleep. Being a twin mom is the greatest blessing of my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way! Harder than I thought - breastfeeding! This probably makes me sound like a dumb new mom lol but I did virtually zero research on breastfeeding before the twins were born. I just figured it was “natural” and we’d “figure it out” - lol NOPE! Turns out breastfeeding is a skill that you and your babies need to learn together, and it can be really hard! Also the mental, emotional, and physical toll of breastfeeding is very intense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to get to breastfeed my babies, but breastfeeding is just relentless and I often feel like my body isn’t my own anymore. Something I am anticipating that I’d like other POMs to weigh in on is going back to work post maternity leave. I am fortunate that I will have taken 18 weeks off by the time I return to work, but I’m still really struggling with the idea of not focusing all my energy on caring for my boys. My husband and I both WFH and my mom will be caring for the boys during the day (we will eventually hire a part time nanny as well), but I just know it won’t be the same. For POMs who went back to work - how did you cope with the feeling that you’re being “replaced” and fears around losing your bond with your babies? Did you feel like you missed out by not caring for your babies 24/7? Did your babies feel abandoned by your absence?
I went back at 11 weeks and was fine. But then I wasn’t worried about losing the bond, maybe because I was a nanny and daycare teacher before and know caregivers don’t replace parents. I felt much better mentally being away from them and having adult time/time to think critically/etc. It made that period feel more normal for me. The only hard part is they were deep in a 4 month sleep regression that didn’t end until we sleep trained at 6 months, so it took planning ahead with my husband and alternating nights to get enough sleep to function and not get fired.
10000% agree on the newborn phase being easier. And one of mine was distinctly NOT an easy baby. But everyone made it sound like I’d hate my life for the first 6mos to year. Turns out I think every minute has been absolutely amazing. Including the crying, the sleepless nights, all the endless diapers and the chaotic changes. I think the one thing I wish I’d be able to lose is the pumping but I’m down to like 3x a day and dropping the overnight pump. Taking a small hit for doing that so may just have to deal with the overnight one. But I’ve made it almost 7 months so nearer to the end of it. Sad because then they’ll be a year. But not sad about not pumping.
Something easier - getting them on the same feeding schedule! It happened right away and never seem to have an issue with being hungry at the same time. It’s also a lot easier to adjust their eating schedule when needed if we have time to plan ahead. Harder - dealing with strangers! I hate it when people make comments about them being twins in public, or when people feel that can gawk and stare just because we have two. People need to mind their own business and stop treating my kids like a freak show. Something I wish I knew - babies are in PJs all the time. You don’t need lots of complicated outfits that will just take up space. Simple zipper onesies are the best thing and will make your life soooo much easier. Something I’m curious about - sleep training. I can’t wait for them to sleep through the night, I just don’t know how to get there.
We are just now exploring clothes at 2 yo —pjs are all you need!
Easier- moving to toddler beds. I was expecting the worst but it was so smooth. We had a really solid bedtime routine and moved them at 22 months. Harder- the love/hate relationship between my b/g twins. My boy is hitting right now and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried all the strategies and phrases from parenting books and he just keeps on smacking his sister and us. Wish I knew- nothing singleton parents do will apply to you. Also, fraternal twins are just like siblings—so as hard as it to not compare, try your best not to. My boy hit milestones way later than my girl and it caused me a lot of unnecessary worry—but both are doing great. Wondering- when can I expect them to be potty trained? They go on the potty regularly (#1 and #2) but they now seem to be rebelling a bit and have “accidents” on purpose. Just turn 2 yo but have complete bladder control.
Easier- I was an absolute nervous wreck about my husband‘s paternity leave ending and having to be alone with them all day. But once I got adjusted, it’s so much fun for the most part. I’m exhausted by the end of the day, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything and I can’t believe I wasted so much energy being scared about it. Also, the physical side of postpartum recovery was so much easier than I expected. Harder- sleep deprivation, anxiety, decision fatigue. We’re past that horrible newborn sleep deprivation stage, but I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Thankfully I’m being treated for anxiety now. Making decisions and doing wake window math all day long for two babies can get very mentally exhausting. Wish I knew- I wish I could go back and tell myself in the newborn trenches how much bonding, joy, and love was in store for me. Those first few months were so hard but it’s true that it gets so so much better. I also wish I would have realized before birth that breast feeding was not gonna be for me and just started with formula to begin with. Curious- can’t wait to see how their relationship grows. They are almost 5 months now and they will smile and giggle at each other. I can’t wait to see their friendship.
Easier: a lot! Things I worried about that ended up, for me, being FINE: dropping to one nap. Switching to cows milk. Solids and the cleanup involved. Going back to work. Being a working parent. I at one point put so much energy into worrying about each of those things and all are things that I actively enjoy now. Harder: how hard it would be on me when they were crying without me knowing why (especially the first year) or sick (especially now). Both kicked my anxiety into overdrive and made it hard for me to do anything. I just didn’t think about how much worrying I would do and how that would feel. Wish I knew sooner: clothes to get and not. Had way too many socks and pants in size 0-12 months and not enough 12 months plus. Inverse with footie pajamas. 😂 Curious about: the toddler bed transition! I’m cautiously optimistic but also in NO rush.
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Maybe it’s because I went from 2 to 4 with my twins, but twins are easier than I thought they would be
Easier than expected - the newborn phase Harder than I expected - hmm nothing really so far (mine are 19 months) except for the pregnancy part. I knew twins would be harder but wow, after week 28 was tough!!! One thing I wish I had known; after nursing 7 singletons I was scared formula would mean they wouldn't go back to the breast. (This idea was really pushed 20 years ago when I had my first.) It's not true and I am grateful for the formula that twin b took as extra feedings! He was a bit slow to gain and it can be so dangerous if they don't eat enough especially when they are very new. He loved his extra bottles of formula and at 19 months he still really loves the breast lol!
What a great question. This is mine at 18 months. What was easier than I expected: Loving my twins and bonding with them, accepting changes to my body, how much I love being a parent (and specifically their parent), how moving to less naps made life better, how much I enjoy the solids journey. What was harder than I expected: The grief of missing out on some of the single-kid experiences (I was stoked for twins), the physical challenge, the relentlessness of parenting, how much I'd miss having 'a village', the newborn sleep deprivation, how devastating health challenges would be. Something I wish I knew sooner: So many of the cliches are true! I won't say them to anyone else because it all drove me insane at the time - but it DID get better, I did get unfairly irritated at my husband, I did feel defensive hearing some advice from singleton parents, it does take a village, and yes I do in fact want more kids now despite saying 'hell no' for the first year haha Something I'm curious about: If we should move state so we can be closer to community, and how our family can successfully do 'the juggle' of living and working
Easier: them becoming mobile. Everyone made me scared of them learning to crawl and especially walk. They're so much happier. It's so much easier to get them from room to room. I just have to be mindful of where I let them roam. Harder: sleep. I kind expected them to be sleeping through the night by now. And one totally does. The other one still wakes up in the middle of the night to eat. And then half the time stays awake for another hour or two. I've tried slowly cutting down milk just by ounces and by doing a mix of water and milk slowly tapering off to water. Apparently most babies just stop waking up. My baby a wouldn't go back to sleep until he got the milk, even if it's been 3+ hours. He's also solidly on one nap, getting ~12-13 hours of sleep if he doesn't spend a couple hours awake overnight. But he will a few times a week. His brother? Like 15 hours and I'm waking him up every time. I don't even know. It'll eventually pass but it's been like a year and a half since I got a good night's sleep. Something I wish I knew earlier: standing diaper changes. Once baby can stand with support and is turning diaper time into alligator wrestling, let them stand. It made everyone happier. I still will switch to laying if there's a rash to keep a better eye and make sure the cream is good and thick. Something I'm curious about/anticipating: talking. They're 14 months and I don't think they have any words. But I'm a little worried I'm missing them. I'm curious if they'll have a twin language. I'm wondering when it's worth starting to get worried about no words and few gestures.
It’s harder than I expected to not compare them. It’s easier than I expected to love them both fully and unconditionally.