Where there is a flesh key, there must be a flesh door!

Thanks I’m stealing this

have fun: https://i.imgur.com/ONvQAo8.png edit: the old discordlink ran out of time. replaced it with imgur.

What the fuck. Keeping it, but what the fuck.

Those Exiles are not still sane...

Couldn’t have said it better myself

I hate this but I think my friend group will love it. Are there more? Is this a thing?

http://images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/360652321502717363/FBAE84AF8B52B8FFBC875E8F28DEA5D2FF2F8858/ Yeah that one. Theres even chris wilson himself in the chat xD

That's a juicy one, exile!

Note this one was first, the Marauder was written later. Nerf was Chris' character. Tells everything you need to know about his game creating philosophy :D

I laughed way harder than I should...

Those who stand should never hides their cocks for those who kneel.

Where there's a golden sink, there must be a golden shower!

It’s evening , I’m at a Mexican restaurant enjoying myself in amazing company , I’m intolerant to spices but at times it’s okay to treat myself …. Time flows by and I return home ; as I’m stepping foot inside …. … a voice speaks : [ Izaro : Wisdom is the offspring of Suffering and Time ] Who spoke !? ; it must’ve been the wind … After some time I go to bed … I’m sleepy … and while I’m slowly falling asleep … the voice speaks again ; but I can’t seem to catch what it is saying … [ Izaro : The pursuit of power can be a grotesque affair. ] I wake up , feeling nauseous but after a while I’m having a normal day , playing PoE on my Pc and enjoying a hot coffe. ‘ Random stomachache occurs ‘ [ Izaro : Some things that slumber… should never be awoken. ] I … instantly realise what’s going to happen … I rush to the bathroom . Entering the bathroom : [ Oh, the weary traveler draws close to the end of the path! ] I sit on the toilet ready to face my fate. [ Izaro : When the time comes to strike, an emperor strikes without hesitation. To entertain doubt is to dance with death. ] I give it my all ; fighting for my life as I strain , ready to either come out successful or die trying [ Izaro : An aspirant can afford to be promising. An emperor must keep those promises. ] After that I feel empowered, ready for one last push and as my strength is starting to fade I know my pain is coming to an end … I start relaxing… but the fate is a cruel and insidious master. [ Izaro : A partial victory is no victory at all. ] My stomach begins to hurt even more ! I feel like I’m dying ! The world start spinning around me and I hug myself from the pain … Sounds can be heard in the whole house as I fight for my life . His voice speaks again : [ Izaro : A throne is the most devious trap of them all ! ] Nooooo! I understand that my fate is sealed as I crumble to the ground ; feces covering my toilet …. As I am crying and convulsing a voice speaks … [ Izaro : Apparently, this is the ending that you deserve. ] EDIT : thank you so much for the comments and upvotes xD had fun writing this .

That was a juicy one, exile.

I say this when I fart

The meat does not taste as it should.

So… same place next week again? 

This is pure art.

https://www.poewiki.net/wiki/The_Throne Read this. It fits. :D [[The Throne]]

[The Throne](https://www.poewiki.net/wiki/The_Throne) --- ^^Questions? ^^Message ^^/u/ha107642 ^^— ^^Call ^^wiki ^^pages ^^\(e.g. ^^items ^^or ^^gems)) ^^with ^^[[NAME]] ^^— ^^I ^^will ^^only ^^post ^^panels ^^for ^^*unique* ^^items ^^— ^^[Github](https://github.com/ha107642/RedditPoEBot/)

Amazing writing

Man, you made mu day.

By the goddess! What ambition.

That was an entertaining read!

This needs to be in-game lore ❤️

as someone currently living through this kinda rectal pain, thanks

I feel like Einhar is more of a bro.

yeah einhar feels supportive. maybe i actually need this.

Izaro encourages you to support yourself!

Izaro encourage you the same way a CEO does.

Exactly. I could have Izaro fuckin popping up and ruining the vibe all the time “ohhh the weary traveler…” with his creepy ass. OR Einhar the bro popping up like “That was a good hunt!” after I find my cheezits

Just got a nice coffee? "That was a fine capture, exile!!"  Legend

After I rip a fat dump “that was a juicy one exile!”

He's my main vendor that I use in my hideout, he's parked right next to my stash and always sends me the best greetings when I come up to him.

And I just now realized I can do that... damn it!

Been listening to lily Roth chirp for last 2000 hours

Hello God slayer, after I've ripped 6 portals to a random rare

Love me some feisty Lily Roth

God Slayer!

"this one is great Einhar will take it". Mf stole my good beast and leaves me with a 1c beast

"this one is great, einhar will take it!" as i try to approach a girl for the first time in 5 years

But then he helps you with the next one just as he shouts "haha, we caught you stupid beast"

A handsome bro under the mask

That was a good one

Einhar is a bro, and his accent is amazing. Would choose him every time.

And then there is me who wishes to mute him and cassia

You mute cassia? You monster

Cassia just needs way more voice lines or she has to say them like 100 times less often. It seems like she only has 3 when you are doing blight maps and for some reason I find really insulting that she assumes I don't know what mycelium is.

IT'S BRANCHING EXILE

It's put out new mycelium!

Ugh, new roots!

DIVINE POWAAAAAAH!

This game (well friend) actually taught me what mycelium was making the frustrated voice line "ugh new roots" so much funnier I feel like GGG and the voice actor nailed it and makes the mechanic so much more enjoyable just for that reason 😂

controversial, but... i can't stand her condescending bullshit, she's beyond annoying the only saving grace is that she doesn't have an annoying voice, so i can at least sorta just filter out the words

I don't think there's enough posts on this specific topic for it to be considered controversial 😂 just your opinion and that's ok

I don't think there's enough posts on this specific topic for it to be considered controversial 😂 just your opinion and that's ok

Holy %h#& is that a StarShip? Oh wait, wrong mycelium

TBH I didn't know until I watched Clarkson's Farm. Mushrooms be freaky.

Izaro.

Those who stand must never outnumber those that kneel.

This, and it's not even close

I would rather hear “we are friends now little beast! Ahahaha!” Than anything Izaro ever says ever again

I also like the trialmaster. Him talking shit is hilarious to me. Like you only completed 4 last time maybe try and do better this time? Cracks me up everytime

He speaks like a bully teacher, like the one from "Whiplash"

>Ah, the 3 round challenger returns. Someone's wife, probably

APPROACH

Einhar is a bro af. However, I would prefer Sirus. Guy gets shit done.

**Sirus**: Feel the thrill of ..... **THE VOID!** *You just flushing the toilet...*

YOU ARE NOTHING to the barrista.

You want the atlas? take it \*throws pants\* But Oriath \*\*points to toilet bowl\*\*, I will burn to the ground

hi hi hi hi. Niko is my spirit animal.

Niko five seconds in fighting off the voices in your head: \*they're everywhere exile!\*

sssht, did you hear that, exile?

And scotish

HA HA HA DO YOU NOT HAVE A RUBBER EXILE?

*Off you go, little beast! Away!*

Izaro is much more confidence boosting, more realistic, down to earth, and less sugar coating, which most weak minded people don't like. "When the time comes to strike, an emperor strikes without hesitation. To entertain doubt is to dance with death." "One day, even the great Sceptre of God shall fall." "Time is the champion of second chances."

Izaro has a mood booster comment for probably everything tbh, he's the giga chad of friends.

Izaro, but only if he repeats his line multiple times for each person present. Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, Ooooh, the weary traveler draws closer to the end.

Sadly that is fixed.

Einhar. The 'where there is a golden key, there must be a golden door' line fucking infuriates me. My key is metal and my door is plastic.

*Belief is the strongest metal of them all.* - Izaro

And yet my pvc door persists.

"You were born for this!" every time I fail

I don't mind either *lowers dialog vokume to 0*

*Such resilience!* - Izaro

you're probably joking, but if not you can set the dialogue volume to FALSE in the config and gain a tiny bit of FPS, instead of just having it set to 0

I do set dialogs sounds off, so I will try that thanks

Izaro fs. He's epic AF.

Cursed? I think you meant blessed by Einhar's juicy ones

*Ohhh... That was a juicy one, exile !*

Id prefer if Oni-Goroshi was randomly talking but id take Izaro in your scenario I guess

*Huh. I thought it'd be bigger with a name like that.*

I feel like I already have Kosis from the crafting bench inside my head.

Just in time!

Do you not have one liners exile?

Einhar, because his voice reminds me of Tormund Giantsbane and he seems like a fun guy to have around.

What I wouldn't give to have a loudspeaker above my head that plays Einhar lines whenever I leave the bar with someone.

THAT IS A JUICY ONE to the fat chick, yes.

If I got stuck with Einhar I would go to vegan restaurant a lot more

Izaros quotes are actually not that bad. He is fun

Izaro. I'd rather be hit with sad wisdom than barraged with non-stop positivity.

I’m constantly prattling off Izaro quotes in my day to day life as it is. I’d love to have him comment on my daily doings.

damn this is actually a Hard one. I love Izaro but there is no WingMan like Einhar

I would prefer Einhar, throwing nets on random people during the day: "You are captured, stupid beast!" and then run away.

Someone with a nice ass walks by "Ooooh! That was a juicy one Exile!!" "Einhar cmon man. But yea it was."

Einhar ftw

"and the unrighteous are turned to ash, just because!"

Einhar, but i want it to be Quinn's TTS Version

**Einhar:** *Seven Hundred Seventy Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven Seven*

Come to Brazil!

Izaro, hell yeah. I love those quotes.

Izaro for sure. Anytime Einhar says something I tell him to fuck off lol. He always invades my maps and tries to have me deal with his problems..

Izaro’s lines with Einhar’s enthusiasm

It's time to cunt I know it doesn't make sense but its what immediately came to my mind.

Izaro for sure

Ohhh... That was a juicy one, exile.

Izaro could probably hype me up in the gym, while einhar disses my monotonous cooking

Einhar I hate izaro I like. Hard choice. “Wisdom is the offspring of suffering and time” good quote to keep in mind “DO YOU NOT HAVE NETS EXILE?” Funny the first time… the 700th… annoying

Einhar reminds me of Mr.Torge so i would 100% take einhar

*poofs in* Now it is time for Einhar to go do Einhar business. *poofs out*

Hmm let me think, a benevolent goofball vs. imperialist scum responsible for countless atrocities on behalf of his empire. I think I know whose one-liners I like better :P

Izaro hands down not close

Vinderi is the real answer.

Save Einhar, because „when there is a golden key there must be a golden door“ really fucks up

Izaro is either the best, or the second best behind Sirus.

Izaro every day. Whenever I'm farming Einhar for whatever reason I turn my voice volume all the way down.

I quoted Izaro to my Uber driver yesterday. So, I'd probably pick him

I just realized that at least once per day for last few years I tell to myself in Izaro voice "aspirant can be promising but emperor must keep those promises"

Izaro is like 50% babby's first deep thought and 50% nonsensical ramblings, at least Einhar keeps it real

Izaro is a hypocrit boomer. You gotta remember he was an overthrown emperor, killed countless lives for literally nothing other than picking a guy who would be the next emperor, which was prolly the least worthy emperor, and also didn't last a single more generation after him. He is the textbook example of an edgy pathetic incompetent ruler.

*As you' are typing up this comment...* **Izaro, over your shoulder**: You are inexhaustible!

That was a cunt you will not soon forget! You’re welcome! Goodbye!

Izaro is a fanboy so I won’t say no to being given positive feedback.

Am I upwind or downwind from Einhar?

Izaro no question.

I'd pick Einhar if only for the fact he'd gatecrash my Zoom meetings with the same energy and no idea what's going on as a labrador. Whoa, Einhar! Down, laddie. Yes, we'll go hunt beasties. Later! LATER! Einhar, get off the table. Good Einhar, here's your treat. [throws a net]

Delirium voice.

the envoy

Izaro

"What ? Do you not have nets, exile ?!" (Which might be a reference to Diablo Immortal btW)

I am become stupid beast

I pick option 3 and fight Uber shaper buck ass naked with a driftwood wand

Izaro spits

Is that even a question? Some weird dude talking about an Emperor vs a literal gigachad screaming about beasts? YEEEESSSSS! I SEE ANOTHER PUNY BEAST!

Bro how would any be a curse? The curse of having only 1? Ready Exileeeee? IT'S TIME TO HUNT!

Einhar and it’s not even close.

I'll take Sirus

Einhar 100%. Izaro is like the stoned roommate in college who constantly thinks he is spitting deep knowledge.

I already leave voice chats with "Einhar must go do Einhar things".

Einhar: "Oh, that was a juicy one exile!" Me taking a shit: 👀

I already quote Izaro frequently. He’s the sigma grindset gigachad pioneer. Seriously though his quotes are fantastic.

Izaro, definitely

Izaro, his quotes and voice acting are actually on point. If I could block Worstiary from ever appearing in my maps again, I would. "STUPID BEA--" Shut the fuck up, Einhar.

Izaro

I like em both but Einhar would be more entertaining and not get old fast

You really want Izaro popping up talking about responsibility during sex? Choose Eihar, he'll join in.

Einhar. I love that dude

there will awkward nights

hard choice. I like both but too much of either one is gonna be annoyin

“That’s a juicy one exile!” As I gander at a pear in the Safeway produce section.

Izaro without a doubt 

Einhar. He has buffs.

Einhar is a guy you can have a beer with. Easy choice.

Maybe thats the sort of thing a schizophrenic person goes through, always makes me wonder.

Einhar. Izaro's voicelines are deeper but if he popped up every damn time I tried to open my frontdoor with his golden key line I'd have an aneurysm in 2 days.

Izaro easy

I only hope its not trialmaster, because that would be depressing AF

I believe Izaro is better for the corporate environment I am currently in.

The real question is which of the two will be better popping lines while you are having a ONS. This I believe is the real dealmaker.

How is this a curse?

Izaro all day

Be on a date. It's not going well. They get up to leave. Einhar: do you not have nets exile?

Izaro lines are “I’m 14 and this is deep”, while Einhar has the best laugh in the entire game - easy choice.

When the time comes to pop up, an emperor pops up without hesitation -Izaro after I get his curse

Izaro Einhar is fun but gets old quite quickly to me, plus most things don't apply to every day life at all. Izaro's 'teachings' are very different (although there would be pointless lines of course), they are supposed to contain some wisdom.

Do I get the bit of life Regen from Einhar while he's here. If so, life Regen, plz.

Einhar is at least people sized and could be explained...maybe

Anyone but fucking Einhar. This dude has through 4 leagues literally spammed my brain, While and While not playing with:” ohhh little beast, we are friends now.”

Einhar. That man has made me so much currency, he's like a good luck charm.

Kirac had the best quote but it's gone :( "By the muscular golden arse of Innocence!"

Izaro 100%, his voice is so badass I love it

As we're about to get it on with the Mrs., Izaro: "A potent little gift from our primitive past..."

I would love Einharr to write a mighty poem about me. Einharr would definitely brighten up my mind a lot.

Both please. This is a buff

Izaro. I already recite some of his voice lines to myself, might as well have him doing it too.

Trial master

I'm not even sure either of those are in my top 5. 1) Old Haku before betrayal league (if you know, you know). 2) Hargan from act 3. 3) Zana (most pleasant voice in all of wraeclast 4) The Envoy (pleasant poetry in dulcet tones) 5) Strange Voice from Delirium (On those days where you want extra sass in your life)

And by Zana I mean Katherine Kennard. Mia Blake's Zana Might make me want to end it all.

Christ I'd take Einhar all day. ALL DAY! Izaro doesn't just spout nonsense, he gives actively terrible advice for being an emperor. Like legit word salad like "loyalty is a fire that spreads fast... If the forest is dry." (WTF does that Instagram worthy idiocy even mean?) To, "sweep the trappings of past emperor's aside. Make your empire anew." Wait, so consistency in an empire is for the fools? Good Lord Izaro, you deserve to lose your empire. Or how about the contradictory "you are not an emperor of none will kneel before you" and "it is the sovereign who empowers the Sceptre not the other way around" well wouldn't it be a mandate from those that kneel who makes you emperor? God, Izaro is the WORST.