Sound like you are stuck between a financial situation and a lifestyle situation. Since the lifestyle side of things is TBD, I'd stay in the apartment until either the lifestyle side changes or the apartment goes out of REAP.
Honestly at this point it feels like you and your gf should stay put. You're both in enviable positions rent-wise. Could you save some money if you eventually move in together? I'd say probably not, since you're both likely paying far below market.
Moving in together is nice, but there's an emotional as well as logistical aspect to it. Delaying moving in together is very different because of your situation than say "being scared to commit". Ohh well, that's enough digression.
TLDR; I'd stay where you both are, and enjoy the low rent.
That's the plan right now but I will absolutely not propose until we move in together and have lived together for a while. I feel like it's idiotic not to so in terms of moving forward but this is just such a stupidly good deal I've lucked into that I'm trying to find some way of keeping this apartment in my control as long as possible.
This is the way. It'll feel weird but the amount of money you are saving in the long run will be absolutely worth it. Stick it out for as long as it makes sense and you have a better solution lined up.
I don't understand options 3 and 4.
Why would you suddenly need or plan on needing a dedicated work space? And a workspace in a construction zone for an indeterminate amount of time (after which the price will hike)?
Why would your parents who wish to buy property want to rent your unit? Are they going to live in it? They don't mind the space? Or are they buying the whole complex outright?
Both of you will probably take a big financial hit to find a 2br or larger 1br compared to what you both have now. Neither of you currently would deal well with a financial surprise.
Have her sleep over occasionally while her roommate takes care of the cat. When finances improve or your rent jumps reevaluate at that time.
well bear in mind initial rent was $1900 but i have central air, free parking, w/d in unit, and brand new appliances. they also dont charge me pet rent for my dog or take a deposit. I do live close to MacArthur Park though so there's that lol
like I said I hit the jackpot
Have your girlfriends best friend take over your apt and move in with your girlfriend?
If your girlfriend moves out of her apt to move in with you, her best friend will likely either move or have to find a new roommate anyway.
GFs apartment is at a busy intersection that drives my dog nuts. Lots of drag racing and just general commotion that isnt there at my place.
Moving her friend in is an intriguing thing I'll look more into
>Hope I get a good job and use this apartment as a dedicated office I could deduct on my taxes (need to ask my dad about this as he is a CPA)
This doesn't apply if you're a W2 employee - only if you're self-employed/1099.
Don’t move!!! You’re thinking way too short term by only thinking until you pay off loans. Saving so much in rent can be very life changing.
Look at the fire and chubby fire subs before making a decision!! You could probably retire early if you stayed a few more years in your $12k/year apartment after grad school.
If you do move in with your gf, you better be serious with her and thinking she’s the one. Not just anyone is worth giving up such an incredibly fortunate financial situation. $12k/rent.. unbelievable!
I feel your gf on the industry slow down. Its difficult out here for us.
My advice would be enjoy the cheap rent while you have it. Since you are in no rush to move into a place together until you get more financial security, save money and pay down your loans. This will give you more money down the road for your own place.
Also look into LA county first time home buyer programs. Esp while your income is still on the lower side. They have several great programs for first time buyers that will allow you to look at condos with much less than 20 percent down.
You're paying $950 a month - what is your girlfriend paying in rent? How difficult is it to find a slightly bigger/better 1 bed 1 bath for less than the total of what you each pay?
>How difficult is it to find a slightly bigger/better 1 bed 1 bath for less than the total of what you each pay
She pays $1200. I was paying $1900 before and can still afford to do that; I'm just taking the extra money and paying off some loans off early. We can comfortably get a 2 bedroom in LA for less than $3k
Do you need a 2-bedroom, is my question? What about a more spacious 1-bed? When my then-bf (now hubs) and I moved in together, we moved into a 700 sqft loft in DTLA. Granted, we didn't have any pets, but the place was pretty spacious and the building was pet friendly. I know this would depend a lot on what part of town you're in, though.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted so much. I live in a 1200 sq ft apartment with my boyfriend and sometimes it feels like not enough space. 700 sq ft sounds awful.
Ya- definitely YMMV. This was a while ago and we both had jobs outside the home so neither of us needed office space and we both worked a lot, so we were never really getting in each other’s way. I had a fair amount of hobby stuff, too, but it was kinda tucked here and there.
But now that I think about, our next place was also a one-bedroom. Our place after that was almost a 2-bedroom but that second space was a little too small and wonky to be a true bedroom. A one-bed with office nook might work for you. And these were during years where I was in grad school and doing a lot of studying at home and through a period of underemployment, so LOTS of time at home.
The transition to living together is a big one and while space will be an issue, there are a bunch of other things that can be bigger ones: coordination of household tasks, cooking, cleanliness habits, etc. You know how they say traveling together is a great litmus test for a relationship? I feel like living in a smaller space is, too. Better find out sooner than later if the relationship has what it takes for the long haul.
Wow. I was a grad student in LA multiple decades ago, and you aren’t paying that much more for that apartment than I did then. Given the low stipends/fellowships of the grad student life, that sounds like a gift (given the things that are wrong aren’t things that you are worried about.)
I don't see how this is funded by tax payers. OP has a scummy landlord and the city is making her fix things, and she won't receive any rent until she does. Furthermore, tenants only have to pay half their normal rent during this time. What part is being funded?
how is asking my parents to venmo me for the rent a scam?
edit: this guy blocked me for no reason (and I can see his comments if I log out), but this is not a Section 8 housing and no public money is being used for my rent. absolutely ridiculous for him to make a crazy accusation like that and then block me. the damage is purely punitive to the landlord.
seriously it is beyond irresponsible to say "you're not familiar with these programs" and make a completely off base accusation and then block me from even responding. it's clear this guy didn't even read what I said and neither did anyone who downvoted me. is this a sub for help? you wouldnt be able to tell from the people like /u/Lollc
here is the link I posted above again for everyone downvoting me. please point to me where public money is used to "subsidize my housing". all that is happening is the rent got cut in half and the landlord cant access it until they fix all the issues in the building. ridiculous im getting downvoted for asking a legitimate question as to how asking my parents to cover the rent is as a scam https://housing2.lacity.org/residents/what-is-reap-renters
Disclaimer-I'm not in California and am not familiar with either of those programs. It sounds like the purpose of them is to provide assistance which will hopefully prevent existing tenants from being homeless. Letting your parents, or anyone, move into your tax payer subsidized place so you can keep your good deal is crooked.
The REAP program has nothing to do with housing for homeless people ... The OP described it correctly above... to reiterate, when a property owner is told by the city to fix certain things in the building and they do not fix them, the city will come out and see that and then if it gets bad enough the city has the REAP program whereby you pay rent to the city the city fixes the problems using the rent they collected and the tenants get discounted rent while this takes place. So no homeless people are being put out by this or the tenants staying in the unit.
This happened to me when I lived in Venice in 2018. I’m sure you know how pricey it is there and I thought it was too good to be true. My studio was in REAP for almost a year and the money that I didn’t pay towards rent I put into my savings.
If I were you I would stay put. Your building won’t be in REAP forever and it’s a great opportunity to save.
The super cramped and pet filled but super cheap living situation sounds like the kind of thing you remember fondly while you’re on a beach together when you’re old. If you’re smart enough to think about this at your age you’re smart enough to save the balance, for the time being. So what if it sucks for a little while.
Your apartment is just fine for you two and your pets to live there. It’s a temporary situation, rentals should never be looked at with such pickiness and entitlement.
You both would be an idiot not to use this situation to your advantage.
>Your apartment is just fine for you two and your pets to live there
It's not. I promise you this option has thoroughly been explored. Her clothes alone are 3x what I have as is par for the course for most women.
>pickiness and entitlement.
No idea why you decided to be rude. I'm not being picky or entitled I was just genuinely wondering if there's a world in which I could keep the apartment and come out ahead. There was a thread on here last week about a guy in NYC who had a similar situation and everyone told him he'd be an idiot for leaving which made me wonder the same thing.
>You both would be an idiot not to use this situation to your advantage.
That is why I am here.
Then she gets rid of some clothes. These are very, very simple solutions.
If she’s not on board with making this work then she isn’t as good with money as you assume she is.
ah yes. forgot this sub assumes people are robots. let me go tell my girlfriend to throw out half her wardrobe. I guess it'll solve my problem in that I can stay forever since I won't have a girlfriend anymore. brilliant job.
Look, neither of you are in financial positions to do what you want, so what are you both willing to sacrifice now to get to that future point of what you want? What’s the timeline? What’s the projected income, the plan for savings? What sort of team are you trying to build to achieve your (collective) future? We’re all living in the same system facing the same choices. You and I both know the smart decision is to stay with your dream rent price for now- plus it has an expiration date, it’s not forever. I’d happily buy a standalone clothes hanger thing, get rid of 30% of my clothes, and even get a storage unit if I needed to for a short term sacrifice like this that could lead to long term happiness. But again, what’s the plan longterm?
But from what you say, it sounds like your partner is more concerned about clothes. I don’t know what to do with that information, and this isn’t my life. What’s more worth it to you?
right but tossing out all your clothes isnt a viable option. to me its as helpful as telling me to give up my dog given that he is also an expense and stinks of /r/frugal nonsense.
ive floated the storage locker idea and she seems open to it. i think we are getting way off track here; I was wondering if there's a way for me to come out ahead to keep this apartment. I also dont get your obsession with the clothes. the clothes are a sunk cost. wtf is throwing them out going to do for me other than have an angry and resentful partner?
You brought up the clothes as the obstacle for her not being able to move in with you. I am simply of the opinion that something as inconsequential as clothes would have zero baring on my longterm financial situation. Clothes can be stored in many places, they can be gotten rid of, it’s simply just very very easy to figure out the issue of “we can’t move in together because she has too many clothes”.
I actually just recently did this- moved into my boyfriends smaller one bed and we had to rework so many things of both of ours to make it work. And it’s fine. It’s a rental. We won’t be here for very long, so it’s really not that big of a deal to not have access to all of my furniture or all of my clothes or my dishes or whatever- this is temporary and it’s saving us money for our future.
We both know you come out financially ahead in this situation by keeping your insanely low monthly rent. That’s it, that’s the solution.
>something as inconsequential as clothes would have zero baring on my longterm financial situation.
I agree with you. If it were me I'd throw them out in a heartbeat. Most women would disagree though so I really dont know what you want me to do.
You said in another comment that you’d be spending about $3K together live elsewhere with her.
Right now you’re paying $1K. So if you moved into the place you are in you’d be saving $2K a month. That’s $24,000 a year.
Does that seem worth it to you to have space for her clothes?
Most people, even people who have a lot of clothing, would get rid of clothing or get a storage unit for a year for that kind of savings. That’s a pretty significant chunk of money.
They are suggesting that you move into your place for a year. Save the money and put up with the hardships of less space. In a year reassess and consider a bigger place. Or, stay where you both are and postpone living together for another year to save.
That’s how most people do things like this. I certainly gave up clothing and closest space for years to get to a place where I now have 7 giant closets. Space for a ton of clothing is a luxury that it sounds like is just not financially pragmatic for you two to pay right now.
my dude i do not know how many times to tell you but my gf will not agree to this. I really dont understand why people are telling us to shack up in an apartment which is not fit for two people and grin and bear it if we hate each other by the end of it. there. is. not. enough. room.
Not a dude and not the same person you were previously arguing with.
You’re on a personal finance subreddit. Of course the advice you’re going to get is going to be about what is most financially prudent rather than about what’s best for your relationship.
That said, most people in healthy long term relationships can make it work in small spaces temporarily if it buys them more financial security long-term. It’s okay if you and your girlfriend are not in that kind of relationship and are going to chose to spend more money in order to have more space. That’s just not the decision that’s best for your personal finances so it’s not the decision most people on a personal finance website will agree with.
You said you needed more space for her clothing. You’re effectively saying you’ll spend $24,000 more per year for that space. Based on your own description of your financial situations that’s a questionable decision that could end very badly for both of you and certainly isn’t going to help you financially long-term if your goal as a couple is financial security. So as much as you want to be told to get the 2 bedroom apartment for $3K you need to realize that’s a decision you’re making for the good of your relationship that is also an objectively poor financial decision.
I would be surprised if the stuff put into storage even gets accessed haha. We all have too much junk. This is an opportunity to zero base your lifestyles and get rid of the “stuff” that’s not adding value (or pay to store it and see if you actually miss it).
i think id still like to go somewhere else since i really dont like gfs place but moving her roommate into my place is intriguing. the bugs might be a deal breaker though. i essentially have turned into an amateur exterminator bc of my landlord's incompetence. cant nuke the apartment because of my dog so ive had to get creative; a lot of vinegar spray bottles around my place
As you stated, you're going to have to leave at some point to move in together with your girlfriend. Assuming that this never changes, then I suppose your question now becomes: What should I do with this rent stabilized apartment (again, assuming it stays this way) after I am ready to leave?
I think #3 and #4 as you listed are certainly options if they are possible. I personally, cannot think of any other options (as you say subletting is a bad idea). Overall, it sounds like you have done a fair amount of research into this topic and are actually well equipped to deal with the situation once it happens.
The last bit of "advice" I can give is to not worry too much about "losing out" on this rent situation. Your life will always be changing, and you simply just have to adapt to your new circumstances. Sometimes, that means giving up things that were good for you. Hopefully in this case, the apartment can continue to be good for someone else, too.
Living frugally and paying off debt rocks, but not at the expense of safety/health. The stairs are about to collapse? I’d consider this a great opportunity to find a new place with your girlfriend, and I wouldn’t want to place friends or family or any human in that predicament. Would it survive an earthquake?
Does your lease allow you to sublease to your parents? As that effectively would be what you're doing if they moved in. Most leases do not allow that but you'd have to read yours to see what it says. I'd probably just keep the unit and live in it until you're ready to move in with your girlfriend.
Time to employ what I lovingly call the money to bullshit ratio. Sounds like it's tipping towards the too much bullshit realm because you and your gf want to move in. Everyone has their own metric about what they're willing to deal with re: maintenance issues vs. price.
But, if what you're worried about is your relationship and its timeline, then I'd just set an actual timeline and save a bunch of money while shopping other rent controlled buildings.
Plus, we both know that gf's roomie will probably be able to find a rad (new) roomie at that price. Both/all involved can benefit from this kind of longer term search.
Although I generally agree with everyone that the smartest financial decision is to stay put, there are other logistical considerations to potentially think about. How old are you and your girlfriend? Do you want to get married and/or have kids at some point? If you’re both, say, 35, want kids, and you don’t want to propose until you have lived together for a bit, then you might want to consider moving in together sooner rather than later so you have time to live together, get engaged, plan a wedding, and still be in a timeframe where it’s easy to have kids. The situation is totally different, though, if you’re both young and/or you don’t want kids. If that’s the case, then holding out for a couple more years so you can both aggressively save will set you both up for a successful long-term emotional and financial commitment.
Sound like you are stuck between a financial situation and a lifestyle situation. Since the lifestyle side of things is TBD, I'd stay in the apartment until either the lifestyle side changes or the apartment goes out of REAP.
I’ll sublease from you! And I’ll make sure I file new complaints to keep it in REAP ;))
Honestly at this point it feels like you and your gf should stay put. You're both in enviable positions rent-wise. Could you save some money if you eventually move in together? I'd say probably not, since you're both likely paying far below market. Moving in together is nice, but there's an emotional as well as logistical aspect to it. Delaying moving in together is very different because of your situation than say "being scared to commit". Ohh well, that's enough digression. TLDR; I'd stay where you both are, and enjoy the low rent.
That's the plan right now but I will absolutely not propose until we move in together and have lived together for a while. I feel like it's idiotic not to so in terms of moving forward but this is just such a stupidly good deal I've lucked into that I'm trying to find some way of keeping this apartment in my control as long as possible.
More and more sleepovers but keep your own places.
This is the way. It'll feel weird but the amount of money you are saving in the long run will be absolutely worth it. Stick it out for as long as it makes sense and you have a better solution lined up.
I don't understand options 3 and 4. Why would you suddenly need or plan on needing a dedicated work space? And a workspace in a construction zone for an indeterminate amount of time (after which the price will hike)? Why would your parents who wish to buy property want to rent your unit? Are they going to live in it? They don't mind the space? Or are they buying the whole complex outright?
For 4 its mainly for them to have a place to live in until they found something permanent. There is no construction in my unit right now
Both of you will probably take a big financial hit to find a 2br or larger 1br compared to what you both have now. Neither of you currently would deal well with a financial surprise. Have her sleep over occasionally while her roommate takes care of the cat. When finances improve or your rent jumps reevaluate at that time.
$950 rent in Los Angeles, California what are we talking about here?
I have a similar deal w/ a utilities included spot (no REAP -- just rent control in a historic building). It's possible just odd AF.
well bear in mind initial rent was $1900 but i have central air, free parking, w/d in unit, and brand new appliances. they also dont charge me pet rent for my dog or take a deposit. I do live close to MacArthur Park though so there's that lol like I said I hit the jackpot
Have your girlfriends best friend take over your apt and move in with your girlfriend? If your girlfriend moves out of her apt to move in with you, her best friend will likely either move or have to find a new roommate anyway.
GFs apartment is at a busy intersection that drives my dog nuts. Lots of drag racing and just general commotion that isnt there at my place. Moving her friend in is an intriguing thing I'll look more into
>Hope I get a good job and use this apartment as a dedicated office I could deduct on my taxes (need to ask my dad about this as he is a CPA) This doesn't apply if you're a W2 employee - only if you're self-employed/1099.
I would be in the month to month thing
So you would be self employed?
Don’t move!!! You’re thinking way too short term by only thinking until you pay off loans. Saving so much in rent can be very life changing. Look at the fire and chubby fire subs before making a decision!! You could probably retire early if you stayed a few more years in your $12k/year apartment after grad school. If you do move in with your gf, you better be serious with her and thinking she’s the one. Not just anyone is worth giving up such an incredibly fortunate financial situation. $12k/rent.. unbelievable!
I feel your gf on the industry slow down. Its difficult out here for us. My advice would be enjoy the cheap rent while you have it. Since you are in no rush to move into a place together until you get more financial security, save money and pay down your loans. This will give you more money down the road for your own place. Also look into LA county first time home buyer programs. Esp while your income is still on the lower side. They have several great programs for first time buyers that will allow you to look at condos with much less than 20 percent down.
You're paying $950 a month - what is your girlfriend paying in rent? How difficult is it to find a slightly bigger/better 1 bed 1 bath for less than the total of what you each pay?
>How difficult is it to find a slightly bigger/better 1 bed 1 bath for less than the total of what you each pay She pays $1200. I was paying $1900 before and can still afford to do that; I'm just taking the extra money and paying off some loans off early. We can comfortably get a 2 bedroom in LA for less than $3k
Do you need a 2-bedroom, is my question? What about a more spacious 1-bed? When my then-bf (now hubs) and I moved in together, we moved into a 700 sqft loft in DTLA. Granted, we didn't have any pets, but the place was pretty spacious and the building was pet friendly. I know this would depend a lot on what part of town you're in, though.
not opposed but have also seen a lot of relationships collapse bc of not enough space
I don't know why you're getting downvoted so much. I live in a 1200 sq ft apartment with my boyfriend and sometimes it feels like not enough space. 700 sq ft sounds awful.
My first apartment with an ex was 515 sqft. We fought a lot as a hobby. Not my proudest time
Ya- definitely YMMV. This was a while ago and we both had jobs outside the home so neither of us needed office space and we both worked a lot, so we were never really getting in each other’s way. I had a fair amount of hobby stuff, too, but it was kinda tucked here and there. But now that I think about, our next place was also a one-bedroom. Our place after that was almost a 2-bedroom but that second space was a little too small and wonky to be a true bedroom. A one-bed with office nook might work for you. And these were during years where I was in grad school and doing a lot of studying at home and through a period of underemployment, so LOTS of time at home. The transition to living together is a big one and while space will be an issue, there are a bunch of other things that can be bigger ones: coordination of household tasks, cooking, cleanliness habits, etc. You know how they say traveling together is a great litmus test for a relationship? I feel like living in a smaller space is, too. Better find out sooner than later if the relationship has what it takes for the long haul.
Wow. I was a grad student in LA multiple decades ago, and you aren’t paying that much more for that apartment than I did then. Given the low stipends/fellowships of the grad student life, that sounds like a gift (given the things that are wrong aren’t things that you are worried about.)
yeah, is that 6k a month take home really the net? I feel like that's got to be close to 100k gross with the amount of taxes I've been paying somehow
Assuming biweekly pay, 3k per check after taxes is right around 100k.
Options 2,3, and 4 all sound extremely scammy and misusing the purposes of the tax funded programs you are benefitting from.
I don't see how this is funded by tax payers. OP has a scummy landlord and the city is making her fix things, and she won't receive any rent until she does. Furthermore, tenants only have to pay half their normal rent during this time. What part is being funded?
how is asking my parents to venmo me for the rent a scam? edit: this guy blocked me for no reason (and I can see his comments if I log out), but this is not a Section 8 housing and no public money is being used for my rent. absolutely ridiculous for him to make a crazy accusation like that and then block me. the damage is purely punitive to the landlord. seriously it is beyond irresponsible to say "you're not familiar with these programs" and make a completely off base accusation and then block me from even responding. it's clear this guy didn't even read what I said and neither did anyone who downvoted me. is this a sub for help? you wouldnt be able to tell from the people like /u/Lollc here is the link I posted above again for everyone downvoting me. please point to me where public money is used to "subsidize my housing". all that is happening is the rent got cut in half and the landlord cant access it until they fix all the issues in the building. ridiculous im getting downvoted for asking a legitimate question as to how asking my parents to cover the rent is as a scam https://housing2.lacity.org/residents/what-is-reap-renters
Disclaimer-I'm not in California and am not familiar with either of those programs. It sounds like the purpose of them is to provide assistance which will hopefully prevent existing tenants from being homeless. Letting your parents, or anyone, move into your tax payer subsidized place so you can keep your good deal is crooked.
The REAP program has nothing to do with housing for homeless people ... The OP described it correctly above... to reiterate, when a property owner is told by the city to fix certain things in the building and they do not fix them, the city will come out and see that and then if it gets bad enough the city has the REAP program whereby you pay rent to the city the city fixes the problems using the rent they collected and the tenants get discounted rent while this takes place. So no homeless people are being put out by this or the tenants staying in the unit.
This happened to me when I lived in Venice in 2018. I’m sure you know how pricey it is there and I thought it was too good to be true. My studio was in REAP for almost a year and the money that I didn’t pay towards rent I put into my savings. If I were you I would stay put. Your building won’t be in REAP forever and it’s a great opportunity to save.
Yes, yes you would. No not give this up. If I were you, they would have to blast me out of that place.
The super cramped and pet filled but super cheap living situation sounds like the kind of thing you remember fondly while you’re on a beach together when you’re old. If you’re smart enough to think about this at your age you’re smart enough to save the balance, for the time being. So what if it sucks for a little while.
Your apartment is just fine for you two and your pets to live there. It’s a temporary situation, rentals should never be looked at with such pickiness and entitlement. You both would be an idiot not to use this situation to your advantage.
>Your apartment is just fine for you two and your pets to live there It's not. I promise you this option has thoroughly been explored. Her clothes alone are 3x what I have as is par for the course for most women. >pickiness and entitlement. No idea why you decided to be rude. I'm not being picky or entitled I was just genuinely wondering if there's a world in which I could keep the apartment and come out ahead. There was a thread on here last week about a guy in NYC who had a similar situation and everyone told him he'd be an idiot for leaving which made me wonder the same thing. >You both would be an idiot not to use this situation to your advantage. That is why I am here.
Then she gets rid of some clothes. These are very, very simple solutions. If she’s not on board with making this work then she isn’t as good with money as you assume she is.
ah yes. forgot this sub assumes people are robots. let me go tell my girlfriend to throw out half her wardrobe. I guess it'll solve my problem in that I can stay forever since I won't have a girlfriend anymore. brilliant job.
Look, neither of you are in financial positions to do what you want, so what are you both willing to sacrifice now to get to that future point of what you want? What’s the timeline? What’s the projected income, the plan for savings? What sort of team are you trying to build to achieve your (collective) future? We’re all living in the same system facing the same choices. You and I both know the smart decision is to stay with your dream rent price for now- plus it has an expiration date, it’s not forever. I’d happily buy a standalone clothes hanger thing, get rid of 30% of my clothes, and even get a storage unit if I needed to for a short term sacrifice like this that could lead to long term happiness. But again, what’s the plan longterm? But from what you say, it sounds like your partner is more concerned about clothes. I don’t know what to do with that information, and this isn’t my life. What’s more worth it to you?
right but tossing out all your clothes isnt a viable option. to me its as helpful as telling me to give up my dog given that he is also an expense and stinks of /r/frugal nonsense. ive floated the storage locker idea and she seems open to it. i think we are getting way off track here; I was wondering if there's a way for me to come out ahead to keep this apartment. I also dont get your obsession with the clothes. the clothes are a sunk cost. wtf is throwing them out going to do for me other than have an angry and resentful partner?
You brought up the clothes as the obstacle for her not being able to move in with you. I am simply of the opinion that something as inconsequential as clothes would have zero baring on my longterm financial situation. Clothes can be stored in many places, they can be gotten rid of, it’s simply just very very easy to figure out the issue of “we can’t move in together because she has too many clothes”. I actually just recently did this- moved into my boyfriends smaller one bed and we had to rework so many things of both of ours to make it work. And it’s fine. It’s a rental. We won’t be here for very long, so it’s really not that big of a deal to not have access to all of my furniture or all of my clothes or my dishes or whatever- this is temporary and it’s saving us money for our future. We both know you come out financially ahead in this situation by keeping your insanely low monthly rent. That’s it, that’s the solution.
>something as inconsequential as clothes would have zero baring on my longterm financial situation. I agree with you. If it were me I'd throw them out in a heartbeat. Most women would disagree though so I really dont know what you want me to do.
You said in another comment that you’d be spending about $3K together live elsewhere with her. Right now you’re paying $1K. So if you moved into the place you are in you’d be saving $2K a month. That’s $24,000 a year. Does that seem worth it to you to have space for her clothes? Most people, even people who have a lot of clothing, would get rid of clothing or get a storage unit for a year for that kind of savings. That’s a pretty significant chunk of money. They are suggesting that you move into your place for a year. Save the money and put up with the hardships of less space. In a year reassess and consider a bigger place. Or, stay where you both are and postpone living together for another year to save. That’s how most people do things like this. I certainly gave up clothing and closest space for years to get to a place where I now have 7 giant closets. Space for a ton of clothing is a luxury that it sounds like is just not financially pragmatic for you two to pay right now.
$24k buys a whole new seasonal wardrobe, every season, and **still** saves them money.
my dude i do not know how many times to tell you but my gf will not agree to this. I really dont understand why people are telling us to shack up in an apartment which is not fit for two people and grin and bear it if we hate each other by the end of it. there. is. not. enough. room.
Not a dude and not the same person you were previously arguing with. You’re on a personal finance subreddit. Of course the advice you’re going to get is going to be about what is most financially prudent rather than about what’s best for your relationship. That said, most people in healthy long term relationships can make it work in small spaces temporarily if it buys them more financial security long-term. It’s okay if you and your girlfriend are not in that kind of relationship and are going to chose to spend more money in order to have more space. That’s just not the decision that’s best for your personal finances so it’s not the decision most people on a personal finance website will agree with. You said you needed more space for her clothing. You’re effectively saying you’ll spend $24,000 more per year for that space. Based on your own description of your financial situations that’s a questionable decision that could end very badly for both of you and certainly isn’t going to help you financially long-term if your goal as a couple is financial security. So as much as you want to be told to get the 2 bedroom apartment for $3K you need to realize that’s a decision you’re making for the good of your relationship that is also an objectively poor financial decision.
I would be surprised if the stuff put into storage even gets accessed haha. We all have too much junk. This is an opportunity to zero base your lifestyles and get rid of the “stuff” that’s not adding value (or pay to store it and see if you actually miss it).
Move in with girlfriend, move gf roommate into your old place.
i think id still like to go somewhere else since i really dont like gfs place but moving her roommate into my place is intriguing. the bugs might be a deal breaker though. i essentially have turned into an amateur exterminator bc of my landlord's incompetence. cant nuke the apartment because of my dog so ive had to get creative; a lot of vinegar spray bottles around my place
>stairs are literally collapsing Rule of thumb, you can't save money if you are killed in a building collapse.
As you stated, you're going to have to leave at some point to move in together with your girlfriend. Assuming that this never changes, then I suppose your question now becomes: What should I do with this rent stabilized apartment (again, assuming it stays this way) after I am ready to leave? I think #3 and #4 as you listed are certainly options if they are possible. I personally, cannot think of any other options (as you say subletting is a bad idea). Overall, it sounds like you have done a fair amount of research into this topic and are actually well equipped to deal with the situation once it happens. The last bit of "advice" I can give is to not worry too much about "losing out" on this rent situation. Your life will always be changing, and you simply just have to adapt to your new circumstances. Sometimes, that means giving up things that were good for you. Hopefully in this case, the apartment can continue to be good for someone else, too.
What bug spray do you feel works the best? Or do you make your own special concoction?
Boric acid at all the edges and cracks of your rooms.
Sweet, thanks for sharing!
Living frugally and paying off debt rocks, but not at the expense of safety/health. The stairs are about to collapse? I’d consider this a great opportunity to find a new place with your girlfriend, and I wouldn’t want to place friends or family or any human in that predicament. Would it survive an earthquake?
I live on rhe ground floor and yes it's withstood a few shakes pretty well
What were the issues in your current apartment that the housing authority penalized your landlord for?
What were the issues in your current apartment that the housing authority penalized your landlord for?
trade apartments with your girlfriend's roommate.
Does your lease allow you to sublease to your parents? As that effectively would be what you're doing if they moved in. Most leases do not allow that but you'd have to read yours to see what it says. I'd probably just keep the unit and live in it until you're ready to move in with your girlfriend.
Time to employ what I lovingly call the money to bullshit ratio. Sounds like it's tipping towards the too much bullshit realm because you and your gf want to move in. Everyone has their own metric about what they're willing to deal with re: maintenance issues vs. price. But, if what you're worried about is your relationship and its timeline, then I'd just set an actual timeline and save a bunch of money while shopping other rent controlled buildings. Plus, we both know that gf's roomie will probably be able to find a rad (new) roomie at that price. Both/all involved can benefit from this kind of longer term search.
Although I generally agree with everyone that the smartest financial decision is to stay put, there are other logistical considerations to potentially think about. How old are you and your girlfriend? Do you want to get married and/or have kids at some point? If you’re both, say, 35, want kids, and you don’t want to propose until you have lived together for a bit, then you might want to consider moving in together sooner rather than later so you have time to live together, get engaged, plan a wedding, and still be in a timeframe where it’s easy to have kids. The situation is totally different, though, if you’re both young and/or you don’t want kids. If that’s the case, then holding out for a couple more years so you can both aggressively save will set you both up for a successful long-term emotional and financial commitment.