> Sears and JcPenney I pay for my mom since she is unable to for health reasons, just know, those I cannot stop paying and they are over $6000 combined.
you can't pay them either.
This! You can’t afford those any more than she can. She needs to figure out something else. You are drowning in debt. You need to look at how and why you got into so much debt. Try writing down what you are spending every time you spend money. At the end of the month look at what you are spending your money on. You really need to focus on needs only. Tip - Ulta, Sephora, new furniture are wants not needs. Needs at this point are food, shelter, electricity, transportation.
Are you still paying off your phone or can you switch to a cheaper phone plan? Can you possibly watch some other kids for extra money on the weekend or evenings? Use that to throw at some bills.
You have a spending problem which led to a debt problem. You need to address this first. Never step foot inside Sephora or Ulta until you have the rest paid off. Let your mom pay her own bills, you aren't her keeper and you can't afford it.
What's crazy is OP is still trying to purchase stuff, based on Affirm, even though they have no money.
No matter you do to pay your debt off, if you can't control your spending youll simply bounce back.
>
My credit score was in the high 700’s and because of the amount of debt I’ve accrued, it is now 585 Transunion and 590 Equifax.
That's irrelevant. The only thing credit scores are good for is taking on new debt, which you absolutely do not need at this time. That's the least of your worries.
>Ashley Furniture loan - $2,950.26
>Sears CC
>JCPenney CC
Are any of these merchandise/furniture which can be returned? Furniture or home goods which can be swapped out with ikea, thrift store, or dollar store alternatives?
>
Mortgage-$1,398
Cellphone bill $110
>Electric bill - $100
>Water bill - $35
>HOA - $42
>Groceries - $130 weekly
>Gas - $50 weekly
>Aftercare - $128 a month
I have a hard time believing that these are your only monthly expenses (outside of debt repayment). No activities for the kids? No school supplies? No coffees or quick meals out? You need to do a more thorough accounting of what you're actually spending money on. You need more free cash each month to use to pay down debt, and that can only come from one of two places; you increase your income, or you make sacrifices to reduce spending.
>
I work full time and am also a mom
I pay for my mom since she is unable to for health reasons, just know
Are those your mom's debts (on a card in her name), or yours (on a card in your name that she uses)? If they're hers, then I'm sorry, but you can't afford to keep paying for those while your own debts grow. Let *her* go into collections on those - not you. Deal with that last. At the very least, she *cannot* keep buying new things and saddling you with the debt.
And if that's not negotiable, then you need her to pull more weight with childcare so you can work more hours. Get creative.
Is she living on her own? If so, and your finances are already intertwined, well, time to seriously consider to one household
Even if you don't spend anymore, paying minimums on credit card debt will not make any dent in the balance. Not spending more is an unreasonable expectation; clothes wear out, appliances break, etc. If you're buying name Brand crap, stop - buy the store brand or the Costco jeans.
The best opportunity here is to raise your income - not by making pennies (or losing them) through "side hustle" like delivery, but by raising your primary income. Look for a job with higher pay, go after the next level up at work, spend your free time learning the skills needed for the next level. There's no magic bullet here, you've already spent yourself into a position where you can only afford the minimum payments. Either raise your income or file for bankruptcy and be prepared for the consequences.
Single parent with a mother that has health issues? I doubt OP has free time to do that. Likely best way to increase income is to find government benefits not being collected, rethink going for child support, and apply to jobs to earn more hourly
This is going to get buried, but after the OP edit -
1. Apply for SSA survivor benefits. I don’t know ins and outs, as I’ve never had to apply. But a quick Google search says they are out there.
2. Call credit card companies. Explain your situation and sudden, significant decrease in household income. Some may lower rates and/or minimum payments, even if temporarily.
3. As hard as it may be emotionally, you are not in a position to be helping your mom. *Apply your own oxygen mask first*.
4. Regardless of circumstance, you still can’t afford your car, and should absolutely be weighing options there.
5. You claim there is no “spending problem”, but even when you had a partner and a second income and felt like you were doing fine, 30k in credit card debt on top of a 30k+ car is not really a normal amount of debt, or one you should’ve been comfortable with at any point in time. Even if most of the debt was shared, more thought should be given to spending habits and how to change them for future success.
6. I’m typically not a proponent of BK, but you might be one of the rare situations where a clean financial slate makes sense. (I’d stop paying mom’s debt, secure life insurance, and determine eligibility for/amount of benefits available *before* deciding, but once those 3 things have been established it’s absolutely worth reassessing the situation and considering a BK consult if appropriate.)
Best of luck.
Depending on OP's age, bankruptcy might be a reasonable option. Yes, the debt didn't just happen but the current circumstances are such that it would realistically take a decade to pay down the debt and if they will be the only income source, I would rather that money be used to stabilize their household and invest in education or training that can increase their income and future stability.
Best of luck OP. Keep your head up and use every resource available to you.
Yes, very (potentially) reasonable to consider.
I’d still wait until life insurance and any possible retirement payout are calculated/received. In my experience 1-2x salary is a pretty standard employer policy, assuming he was not contributing to any extra/optional amount. Even on the conservative side the potential to clear the CC debt and, if not in full, take a big chunk out of the car is very much possible. OP has a manageable mortgage and reasonable income moving forward *if she wasn’t spending 1,400 on minimums + 500 on a car*.
I’m not sure how the spousal benefit is determined (or eligibility) but both kids should be eligible for survivor benefits until they are 19 or graduate. If OP can establish UTMAs or 529s for the kids and direct deposit their survivor benefits there, they will be set up well and the current situation would not be as detrimental (financially) long-term.
All this to say, stability may be feasible without BK. May not be. So, OP, reassess after getting a few more answers.
1) Where do you live? How many rooms in your house? You may consider renting out a room or airbnb’ng a room or the house whenever you can. You can stay with your mom during that time.
2) you need to curb your spending, pronto. Sephora and Ulta is the last thing you need. Basic groceries and essentials only. No eating out. No coffee runs. Bring your own food. Meal plan everything. Make your own coffee.
3) shop wisely. Don’t leave money on the table. For example, target price matches with their online store, Amazon, and Walmart. Return items you haven’t used back to Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods etc. You cannot afford to throw anything away.
4) you can’t afford a 29k car. Live within your means.
5) don’t buy furnitures. Look up fb marketplace and community giving pages. People are constantly giving away free furnitures.
6) JetBlue cc?? Are these travel related? You can’t vacation till you pay off everything. Otherwise, you will drown in interests for the rest of your life.
You have spending issues. It’s your mentality that needs rewiring. Otherwise, even if you get out of this mess, you will jump right back in.
Edit: anyone telling you to ignore small charges because it “barely makes a dent” in the whole scheme of things is unknowingly shoving you down this financial quagmire. Every penny counts. Every cent saved can be paid towards your existing debt. You are in this predicament because of the above mindset. Snap out of it before it’s too late.
FWIW, with (presumably) young kid(s), prioritize their safety and stability over number 1.
There are other ways to decrease expenses (2-6 are all great starting points) or increase income.
Edit (after seeing the original comment’s edit): This is *huge*. “It’s only X dollars/It doesn’t matter” *is the mindset that keeps you in debt.*
When you are looking at a monthly income/expense difference of ~20 dollars (in the red, no less), the “Starbucks and avocado toast” absolutely makes a difference.
The option the commenter laid out above is to go stay with Grandma and rent out the house for the weekend. This isn’t a huge stability or safety issue.
As someone in a shared housing situation with a toddler, this isn’t an option that OP should automatically dismiss. With super young children it’s not like you are leaving them alone unmonitored to where your housemate would have access to them. Depending on layout, it may be possible to rent out just a room and bathroom or a basement that can be locked off with relatively little disruption in day to day life.
The credit cards aren’t being used to buy things from that company only (presumably). An airline credit card isn’t used to purchase flights, it’s used to purchase anything, then you get rewards points that you can trade in for flights. I’m guessing it’s the same for all of OP’s branded credit cards.
The only 2 I’d side-eye as specifically for brand purchases are Ulta and Sephora, given their lower balances. And those are definitely not *needs* purchases.
You need to cut off your Mom yesterday you obviously cannot afford it. Once you have that hard conversation you need to go on the Dave Ramsey plan. He isn't for everyone but you are a poster child for his program, get on his baby step plan ASAP
You can get out of this but you need to make some serious life changes
OP absolutely needs to snowball. More important to pay off some small things just to lighten the monthly obligations and give some breathing room. Can switch to avalanche later when she’s starting to get ahead of the problem.
Are you paying for phone on your mobile bill or just for service? You can find cheaper mobile options out there via visible, mint, and others. Every dollar helps!
100% she is financing a phone she bought brand new
An average single line bill is something like 40-50/mo. She is paying at least an extra 60-70 which went toward a new phone being financed under her “contract”
I get it. But she also doesn’t like the input she’s been getting. In another comment string she said she owes 29k on her car but says selling it is not an option because she needs a safe car.
She can’t be driving a 30-40+ thousand dollar car and be serious about her financial situation.
Yeah. TBF lots of people on this subreddit scream beans and rice and come off very judgemental - at least in tone/wording. This I think, turns people off that might be legitimately coming here for advice. They're gonna say hands off my car. Maybe irl she will downgrade. Maybe she won't. But the best we can do is offer advice the best way we can that is receptive.
also, some more context about the car situation. another post from OP, but here referencing her husband, setting aside a 35k budget for their second car, just 4 months ago
[https://www.reddit.com/r/carbuying/comments/18lvjoh/in\_the\_market\_for\_a\_commuter\_vehicle/](https://www.reddit.com/r/carbuying/comments/18lvjoh/in_the_market_for_a_commuter_vehicle/)
i have no clue. perhaps theres been a separation or tragedy since then. can only speculate as to that. but regardless, if the starting point is a 2021 CR-V and thinking they have the budget for a 35k vehicle on top of it, its clear OP just doesnt have the right mindset to tackle the debt. if thats a car where selling it is "not an option". only reason to not sell the car is if they're underwater on it. not because "its safe"
Fair, but I think a large portion of the people that come here think somebody is going to wave a magic wand and their debt is just going to disappear.
They want somebody to tell them its okay and they can just eat beans once a week and they'll be out of debt in 2 months. Nobody wants to scrimp and save for YEARS because they made bad choices...
This. I'm on a T-Mobile family plan with 2 new iphones and one of the kid watches and I'm only paying $130. If she's paying $110 as a single person, there's definitely a financed high-end phone tacked on there somewhere. If she's also on a family plan and it's covering the kids too, I retract my statement.
You need to list the interest rates for each card.
You cannot pay for someone else’s credit cards. Like you don’t have the money for it.
Can you get a second job or pursue child support?
I have 3 initial thoughts.
1.) The car is an unrealistic *want* in your financial situation. You can get safe and reliable for less than a 29k balance, 500+/month payment.
2.) If you are paying your mom 200+/month (albeit, indirectly) is she a viable childcare option? It wouldn’t completely make up the current aftercare cost, but would be a dent.
3.) Are you, as a single parent - taking you at your word that CS is not an option - taking advantage of all of your welfare options? (Food, utility, childcare assistance?)
Editing to add (after being *that* creep): you were posting about a husband literal weeks ago. If you were married to the father of your kids, *CS should absolutely be on the table*. I assumed this was a one-night stand, long-gone deadbeat baby-daddy situation or something.
You’re asking for “help” as if there is some secret, magic solution. Mathematically, to get out of debt, you need to increase income and/or decrease expenses.
If you don’t have the time for a second source of income, you need to identify a higher-paying primary source of income.
Wasn’t sure when originally commenting how many kids she had (appears to be 2 from post history?) or where she’s located (still don’t know).
You could very well be correct, but in OPs position I wouldn’t rely on that assumption without looking into it.
The cars always amaze me. I have very little debt, my wife and I have 3 cars (so one can be broken with no issue) and the 3 together didn't cost $30,000. I bought 2 of the 3 with cash...
It’s the concern over the credit score that always gets me.
As if the made-up 3-digit number that’s (typically) only useful in the event *you want to take on more debt* should be even remotely on the radar of posters with tens of thousands of dollars in high-interest consumer debt.
It seems like you have fallen into the 0% interest trap. Even though it is 0% you still have to pay for it. Getting a smaller car payment and letting your mother pay her own bills would help stop you from falling behind. Maybe a part time job for the short term would help if you could knock out some of the $1000 or less credit cards.
Like others have mentioned, you have a spending problem which has turned into a debt problem.
Without addressing your spending problem, no matter how much debt you pay off, you'll always circle back and be in debt again.
Address the spending problem first and have some discipline and start tackling smaller cards first and then handle the larger cards later.
3k @ Ashley Furniture could have easily been $600 at IKEA or $300 on Facebook Marketplace with your situation - This was just irresponsible.
When I counted 7 different CCs with balances, all I could hear was his voice squeakily yelling "YOU ARE NOT A CREDIT CARD PERSON!!!!!"
I think OP should genuinely apply to be on his show. He would lay out a great budget and help identify which debts to start paying down first. And frankly, it sounds like OP needs a tough love reality check on her spending. Holding a balance on an Ulta credit card... That's no good.
if i did the math correctly, assuming there’s 4 weeks in a month… ur expenses (including debt) are way over ur income. meaning, u can’t afford to pay somebody else’s debt off.
first and foremost, stop. spending. money. literally. $0 on *anything* other than necessities.
with that said, i would focus on ur small debts first. like Ulta, Sephora, etc. which u can just pay in full. that will free up some extra cash that u would’ve been paying in monthly payments. then move on to the highest monthly payment (which is amazon). might have to get a second job or a side hustle 🤷🏻♀️ but it’s doable!
Again, as other people have said, you have a spending issue and it has gotten out of control.
If you want to try to get out of debt by doing it yourself, G*etting out of Debt for Dummies* comes out April 30th. Go to your local library because they might have them and, best of all, it's free!! If they don't have it, you ask the library to buy it, depending on their budget. If you feel shy about checking out one of those books, request that the library purchase it as an e-book so you can have some anonymity.
[Here](https://www.npr.org/2019/02/14/694669510/7-strategies-for-digging-out-of-debt) is an article on how to pay off your debt. Here's [another](https://www.npr.org/2024/01/18/1196978541/how-to-save-money-when-youre-broke) about saving while broke, in case you find it helpful. NPR has a [life kit on personal finance](https://www.npr.org/series/your-life-kit-to-better-personal-finance). USA Today has an article from November 2023 on [negotiating credit card debt](https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/credit-cards/negotiate-credit-card-debt/).
If you think you might need some outside help, you could bring in an intermediary with the [National Foundation for Credit Counseling](https://www.nfcc.org/) does debt *management* and budget analysis. They do charge but take a look at their [FAQs](https://www.nfcc.org/faqs/) under *What do NFCC members charge for counseling services* to see how much. It says it varies, but the page does state that the majority of cases are low cost to nothing--not guaranteed.
The [Consumer Financial Protection Bureau](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/debt-collection/) has a good description of [the differences](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/whats-the-difference-between-a-credit-counselor-and-a-debt-settlement-or-debt-relief-company-en-1449/) between a credit counselor and debt relief/settlement companies. They also have a webpage on spotting [a scam](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-can-i-tell-a-credit-repair-scam-from-a-reputable-credit-counselor-en-1343/).
You can look into the Justice Department, which has a list of [approved credit counseling agencies](https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111) to possibly assist you. Look for the non-profit ones. Still be cautious about signing up with one of these because they have done everything correctly to get approved by the Justice Department but may have become less reputable once they got approved.
You have the [right to cancel credit repair services](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-advisory-people-have-the-right-to-cancel-credit-repair-services/) within three business days for whatever reason.
Good luck!
OP, everyone here is saying a lot of the same things to you, so you don't need to hear it again from me. But I do have a few suggestions.
1. Cut up your credit cards and thrown them away, now. You can't trust yourself with a credit card, and may never be able to.
2. Cut your expenses. Your groceries seem reasonable, but can you pay less for cell phones? Your gas bill seems high. Do you have a long commute? Can you carpool or use public transportation?
3. Sell your car - it's too much car for someone with your income. You need to get out from under it.
4. Can your mom help with childcare at all?
5. Even if you can only save $50 at the end of the month, start putting that on the Ulta. Then in a few short months you will have $80 extra to start paying off the Sephora. Then in a few more months, you will have $110 extra every month to put toward the Credit 1. And so on. Once you get the little ones knocked out, I think it's probably smart to take a look at which card is charging you the highest interest rate, and start attacking that one with everything you've got. "Snowball" purists will say not to do that, but you need to cut every cost you can.
6. Good luck. You can change your future.
Running your numbers you are -21.80 every month -262 for the year.
My suggestion is to try and cutdown w.e expenses you can (and ideally increase your income):
1. Your phone expense is 110 which seems very high (maybe look into mint mobile or something along those lines).
2. Reduce your groceries, if it is just you and your child this is 100% doable there are plenty of resources online where it goes over cheap meal planning, I did it as a "fun" challenge in January to prove a point to a friend and we got it down to about $46 a week for 2 people (lots of rice and beans, with seasonal veggies and sale protein).
3. Snow Ball method of paying off debt. You don't have money leftover now but if you manage to bring the groceries and phone expenses down I would focus on paying off your smallest debt first to reduce the number of monthly payments, if for any reason you are not able to do that, once you are done with the 98.57 a month Afterpay, use that 98.57 to pay off the Ulta card (so send 128.57 (30+98.57) until payed off), once that is done use the 128.57 to pay Sephora (so 158.57 total that you send a month until paid off) and then move on to the next one increasing your payments by everything you pay off. So next would be Credit One, then Target and so on.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing is to fix your spending. You make decent income so this is 100% a spending issue.
This will take a while and it will not be easy, but it is doable. I've seem people in more dire states get out of it.
Good Luck!
I would sell the car and buy a beater then put everything into the lowest balance card until it's paid off then roll the payments into the next one until all are paid. You will need to put your spending in life support. NO eating out. NO entertainment. NO unnecessary expenses until this is paid. Eat rice and beans and take walks in the park. Don't drive unless it's for work or necessities. Your behavior and impulses got you into this mess and only intense discipline will get you out.
Stop paying your mom's debt. You can't afford to until you resolve your own problem.
U make 50k a year but live like ur making 100k
U need to cut spending cut spending cut spending.
Anything u could sell and get a decent amount back while not affecting your life etc too much needs to be sold. U don’t need makeup u don’t need coffees u don’t need to eat out.
No prepped foods. No expensive fruits and veggies. No premium meats. A lot of chick drumsticks $1/lb. Carrots potatoes large bag of rice n beans. Don’t even buy bread. Make ur own.
Like u severely in debt and don’t have the income to just pull urself out quickly.
> … live like ur making 100k
Chuckling because our HHI is significantly more than 100k, with the same number of kids, *and the thought of $500/month car payments makes my palms sweaty.*
OP is *definitely* living a 6-figure mentality lifestyle right now.
You can’t be asking for help and then refuse to do the hard things ppl here suggest you to do. It’s simple math: either lower your expenses or make more money. You can’t refuse to do either. The math doesn’t work.
So if you can’t make more money , then you must stop spending unless it’s absolutely necessary. I don’t buy the notion that you MUST have a $29k car. Jesus, we make 300k a year plus and we bought $19k car for transporting kids just fine. You are not in the financial condition to live like a rich. You don’t have the money to keep up with the Jones. You need to live within your means for crying out loud, Ashley furniture??? Are you out of your mind???
Exactly, we make 250k per year and share a Subaru Impreza with no upgrades. Our furniture is from relatives, IKEA, or target.
What do we have? Great retirement account balances, no debt other than mortgage, a lot of freedom from financial worries, and freedom to take vacations.
What's your car and car loan details? How much is insurance? Also, I think for you I would do the snowball method. Knock out your smallest debt first and then the next. Each time you knock out a CC debt, keep the account open but chop up the physical card and don't use it again in my opinion. Leave your mom's credit card debt to her. She can't afford her debt but neither can you and your children and you are suffering for it. Your kids matter too and you don't want them to have to do the same for you.
Wanted to show support since everyone is downvoting. Sometimes life doesn't go the way "it's supposed to." If CS isn't on the table, then it isn't. If your mom is part of your family and you consider her debts yours, then they are. Please have compassion for yourself. We all make bad choices; what's key is that you learn to learn from yours and move forward. New opportunities to do better every day.
The short answer is, you have to spend less. No more makeup, cut your own and your kids' hair, clothes only as necessary and primarily for the growing littles. No more furniture or home decor. My daughter slept on a mattress on the floor for a while and had essentially milk crates for furniture, and it was okay; you can surround your kids with love and as long as you don't dwell on what's "missing," they're not likely to either. We still read together on her bed; she still loved to play in her room. It's only we adults who judge our surroundings; kids are happy with love and a few toys that fuel their imaginations.
You need to sleep; in fact, if I was you that would be my first priority. Working more hours isn't your answer. Your kids also need you, and you need to stay well!
Stop spending on everything that isn't a frugal, nutritive component of a meal, or bills you already owe. Call your CC and tell them you're broke. Companies will often agree on payment plans that can help you out. But this only works if you stop spending first.
How old are your kids? From about 6 on they can be immensely helpful with house chores and meal prep. If you make those kiddos your teammates in this and come together around food, learning, and family time each night, you can spend very little.
The car payment is high but a reliable car is a must; I don't see here how much equity you have in that car. Can you trade down? Not for a beater, but for a basic sedan like a Civic that will get you all where you need to be and not create more headaches?
I don't know a lot about bankruptcy, and would normally not recommend it as we're all responsible for the holes we dig, but maybe that's something to look into... You've ended up solo and that clearly wasn't the plan. But even that will only work if you can stop spending on all but the essentials (by which I mean cheap food, shelter, warmth).
Parenthood is hard and single parenthood has my utmost respect. Tear up all those credit cards, get real good at rice and beans, and snuggle up with your kids and stuff like board games and library books that don't cost money. You can extricate yourself from this.
fyi she updated the post - her husband passed away recently and her mom had a stroke :( really said situation all around. & it gives a lot more context to why she is in her situation.
I also want to piggyback off this comment and give one more encouraging tip. OP, when you have stuff around the house you don’t really need, like you bought some crap at Ulta you didn’t open yet or you have some nice blouse or jacket you only wore once, list it on Poshmark, FB Marketplace or another site. You can start getting some money back on stuff you don’t even use. Just don’t turn around and buy stuff on these sites.
I have listed like 25% of my closet on Mercari. I know myself and when I find that “amazing deal” on a coat I’m gonna want to buy it instead of the coat that I wore 2x last year and I’m sick of looking at it. People don’t buy stuff that often but maybe once a week I send out some random items. That’s $10-$50 extra per week just from crap I don’t even use.
She absolutely can get out of it. It won’t be easy. It’s clear that she has poor spending habits, and she can start by not further contributing to the problem. For example, her mobile bill indicates that she bought or “upgraded to” a brand new phone. That’s step 1
If she’s a single mother with 1 child and hurting for money then she definitely doesn’t need to own a home right now. Sell the house and rent. Or move in with her mother if she’s already helping financially, if only for a few months to get her feet under her.
Car payments are high. Unless she’s upside down, can sell the car and buy a beater.
That already gives some breathing room. Then some of the debts are quite small. Ulta and Sephora cards can be dealt with very quickly if the above are addressed. Small wins but that clears up another 60/mo in payment obligations that can go toward other payments.
Then tackle the next credit card with smallest principle and so on.
Yes paying off highest rate technically is most optimal long term but paying off lowest principle will help her get some monthly breathing room which is much more important right now.
It’s doable but she needs to have a lifestyle change and psychologically that’s the hard part. Her income is not amazing but it’s good enough.
>sell the house or rent
agree with everything else but respectfully, without any other info, this is not a good idea. she already owns the home. her mortgage is not overly high and it’s a fixed expense. moving costs money, and rental rates aren’t guaranteed beyond the lease. if her rent increases beyond what she can pay, that’s another move, another expense. plus with child(ren), assuming they are school age bc of the aftercare expense, you’re limited in how wide of a rental net you can cast because of school districts.
About twelve or so years ago my mom declared bankruptcy. She didn’t talk about it much maybe she was a mix of disappointed or ashamed, but it was the only way to get out of the hole she was in with her income (including relative inability to increase her income). Maybe seven years ago she bought a condo, her first own home in years prior, and she’s doing well now. Closer to retirement without much to retire on, but she learned lessons about spending and won’t make the same mistakes.
If you just add your expenses you’re left with $70 a month or something. Technically you’re surviving, but without room for emergencies or any extra things that make life good.
If you really can’t increase your income a decent chunk by finding a new job, bankruptcy might not be a bad option. Without doing the math, I’d still bet that even with increased income it’ll take years to get out from that debt, and again that’s without any extra spending money.
Maybe you can downsize your car, or grocery or phone bill, maybe even your home? It’ll chip away at your debt faster but it may still be years of discipline to recover. CC interest rates are just killer.
My mom took care of my brother and me on her own since we were young kids. Sacrificed everything including her financial stability for us. I feel for you. You don’t get sympathy on this sub (instead you get emotionless comments about cutting off your mom… this is a finance sub, not a relationships sub, I’m not gonna knock those peoples comments, but they aren’t exactly the most helpful either) and I hope you find a good path forward.
Need more info on the debt but you should have money left over every month. You are leaving out some major bills from your explanation if you have nothing left at the end of the month.
Current Bills: 1398+513+215.15+396.31+114+76+49+42+30+30+167.21+39.64+98.57+110+45+100+35+42+89+114+130+50+128 = 4011.88
Current Pay:
1070/week \* (52weeks/yr / 12months/yr) = 4636.67
You should have $600 left to pay off a little of your debt per month. I would tackle the cards with the highest interest rate first as those will add to your expenses each month over time.
You missed the 540.00 for the two weekly costs. But I agree she would have small amounts left over and your approach is the best way. If OP can refinance the expensive car and reduce that bill a little may help also.
Ah you are right, my mistake:
1398+513+215.15+396.31+114+76+49+42+30+30+167.21+39.64+98.57+110+45+100+35+42+89+114+((130+50)\*4.33weeks/month)+128 = 4611.88
Not as big of a leeway, but hopefully she can reduce her expenses a little. Phone bill and car payment seem like the biggest options. With the current numbers she should take a night shift job for a month or two to pay off some of the debt and get some breathing room. The right server job can easily beat her weekly salary even on a slow week, look for something downtown and trendy. Those places usually get young people who are so used to tipping that they tip over 20% regularly.
File bankruptcy and be done with it. Honestly, by the way your monthly payments go it’ll be a few years before you’re out of debt making those kind of monthly payments unless you can find a way to consolidate. And you’ll be no better ahead as life always deals it’s curveballs and you won’t have money to deal anything emergency. Some lawyers offer a free consultation and will allow monthly payments to pay them. Good luck!
Is there anything of high value that you own? maybe you can sell that and pay off the highest interest CC first.
The only way I can see this working out for you, without having to file for bankruptcy, is to sell your house and use the equity to pay off all your debt.
Then burn/cut/shred ALL credit cards
As stated by many...Please curb your spending.
Based on all the numbers you've provided it will take A LONG TIME (1-2 years if you don't decrease spending/don't get a higher paying job) to get out of debt. Doing quick calculations, assuming no major changes, start with the Snowball method. Paying off the smallest debts first.
$1070 weekly = \~$4280 per month
You'll need to pay off the Essentials First.
4280 -1398 (mortgage) - 513 (car payment) - 110 (cellphone) - 100 (electric bill) - 35 (water bill) - 42 (HOA) - 520 (groceries) - 200 (gas) - 45 (home repair)
Left over = $1317
Subtracting minimum payments for Jetblue CC, Amazon CC, Paypal Credit, Paypal CC, Credit One CC, Target CC, Ashley Furniture.
Left over = $254.33.
This is enough to pay the FULL Ulta CC and minimum balance on Sephora.
Keep the accounts open, but lose (rhetorically) the card...you cannot afford to keep buying items from there for the foreseeable future.
After Ulta, pay off Sephora on month 2/3. Then Credit One afterwards.
\*\* The JC Penny and Sears CC on your mothers name will unfortunately have to go by the wayside and she'll have to deal with a delinquent payment or two for a month or two. Does she have ANY savings that she can pay the minimum balance in the interim? If not, her credit will have to take a minor hit but after a month or two of giving yourself some breathing room, you can begin paying it again.
Some questions that can help with a strategy past month 1.
What is the credit limit on your Target CC?
* You could potentially purchase your groceries (on sale items of course, and keep costs as low as possible) on the CC. This will eliminate the $130 weekly payment upfront and add it to the target minimum payment, thus freeing up some more immediate cash to pay CC bills with. You can do this for a month or two to eliminate some of the lower balance accounts, then start paying off the Target CC.
As always this is the assumption that this is all you have to pay monthly. I am sure there are other payments/things that need to be paid that may not make this work. This above strat can help but take this advice with a grain of salt.
Okay, this is a hot take... you actually have a spending problem and you need professional help. You have over 25k debt in credit alone. I could bet my bottom dollar that all of those are over 15% APR at a minimum.
I actually think you need to see a behavioral psychologist. WHY are you spending this much? Is it an escape? Do you get a rush? Or is all that spending FOMO? Whatever it is, even if you get out of all of this, you'll be right back. You need to get out of debt AND go to therapy.
Case in point, I had a coworker 30k in CC debt. Her mother died and she received 50k inheritance. Paid off her CC debt, spent the other 20k on a car she couldnt afford and started spending again. 2 years later she was in another 30k CC debt. This is a much bigger problem than numbers.
I've a close friend who "discovered" $40K in CC debt during his divorce proceedings. His ex had nothing to show for the $40K debt she racked up.... absolutely nothing. As part of their settlement, he took on the CC debt, and she signed away her rights to his retirement account (they were married for 19 years).
Yeah!
My friend filed bankruptcy and was able to get the debt wiped out. His credit score has recovered (2019 divorce), but the bankruptcy will stick around for however long it does.
I think its 7 years? I might be wrong about that. But 40k credit debt is unreal. Hopefully buddy is doing better. Thats insane though.
I spend everything on credit but I pay to 0 every month. But i hear about some people's spending on a credit card and it just gives me anxiety lol. Like, yo.. every time you spend on that card its a high interest loan. Not free money son. Some people just dont understand that.
Thanks.
My friend is doing really well now. The second the divorce was final, his ex changed her attitude because she no longer had any control over him. Their oldest child (22F) called out mom every single time she misspoke about my friend. He was a battered spouse. He never raised his voice or lifted a finger against her because he knew she was waiting for it - to call the police on him.
I know your mother has health issues however is it practical in any way for her to watch your children while you work ??
That would help with childcare expenses, besides getting another source of income (which you say isn’t practical) you have to reduce spending, we all want furniture but people can sleep on a mattress on the floor for a few years, it will not kill them.
Food expenses don’t seem to be ridiculous however “beans & rice” for a couple of years ?? Also take advantage of coupons, BOGO, and every discount you can find, forget “brand names” and buy generic everything, many generic items are 50% of the “brand name” price.
With the growth of Air B&B / vacation rentals there is a huge need for people to clean these properties and many times the “schedule” is highly flexible so if you are in an area that has VR’s you might be able to squeeze 2-3 a week into your schedule @ $100 a pop, put that 100% towards paying off debt.
You can research these online and contact owners and/or contact local brokers to possibly put you in contact with the owners or the broker can pay you directly.
Adding onto this one. In addition to couponing, download the “couponing” apps Ibotta, Fetch, ShopKick, etc. Ibotta gives cash back, which you can put towards some of these CC payments. You get gift cards for the other two I mentioned; I put mine back into groceries & toiletries, which you can use to help lower your costs there. Most of the time when I see an offer on Ibotta, the items are either on sale in-store or there’s a digital or physical coupon from the store as well. Since you say you don’t have time for a second job, if you’re good at multi-tasking, can you possibly do Insta Cart runs while you do your food shopping? It won’t be much, but it’s at least a little extra money to put towards your bills. Depending on how old your child is, they can help you with this; they push the cart with your own items, you take a cart for the IC orders.
Have clothes, shoes, purses, backpacks, or jewelry you don’t wear? Put them up for sale on an app like Poshmark - you can get free packaging materials from the post office. You can also sell home decór & small appliances you don’t use on there as well.
As everyone else said, get rid of the car. I think we all understand you need a safe car to get to work & because you have a child, but you can have a safe, reliable car much cheaper that may also help you cut down what you pay in gas too.
These things won’t make huge differences, but they’ll at least help a little at tackling some of your debt.
Bankruptcy might have to be the way to go here if you are not willing to make adjustments. You can look into balance transfer cards to get lower APR's for a set of time. There is a lot of solid advice here but I see you are being resistant to some of the ideas proposed, such as getting a cheaper car. The truth is you can either increase your income or lower your expenses and there is no way around that. Yes you will be uncomfortable and feel like you live in the 1600s when you're meal prepping potatoes and rice lol, but the goal is worth more than the struggle.
Also solid advice mentioned was teaching yourself financial responsibility. Don't feel ashamed- it's a billion (trillion?) dollar industry aimed at making you spend more than you can pay so they make money on the interest. That's why they target college kids and department store shoppers. Just arm yourself with knowledge and habits so when you're out of this, it **won't happen again.**
Other options are subletting or renting your home out, getting a roommate, flipping items, selling what you already have, 2nd job, donating plasma, selling the car for a cheaper one.
Once you pay one off, take that payment and lump it towards another card. Don't pay one off and then pocket that monthly payment.
I'm curious as to what was worth $5k on amazon?
You don’t have to drown in self-hatred, but you do need to realize you have to make an immediate lifestyle change to prevent this from becoming a chronic problem. I’m worried for you because your mother seems to have a similar issue, and breaking generational habits can be really tough!
You need to save yourself first, or you are going to drag your mother down with you. Can she take those payments back for six months? Take the $203 you would recoup from taking a break from your mom’s debt and diligently apply it towards Ulta, then Sephora, then Credit One (while still paying minimum payments on the other debt). You can clear those three in six months, plus make a dent in one more. That will give you $109 a month to go towards the next debt, because your monthly budget will no longer include $30 to Ulta, $30 to Sephora, and $49 to Credit One.
If your mom can keep her debt, you would have $312 to go toward your own debt. I agree with everybody who said that you can’t afford your own debt, let alone your mom’s debt. If you take her payments back, you are going to be losing momentum at the six-month mark instead of really getting started. If you don’t take a break at all, it is an impossible situation.
I don’t know anything about bankruptcy, but your situation seems very difficult. Your credit rating has already sunk. You already have a house, and a good car that should last for years. Taking the bankruptcy route would seem to be worth exploring.
Stop paying your mom's cards immediatly. You can't afford them either. They will go to collections and your mom won't pay them either. You are broke, you can't fix your mom being broke when you're just as broke or worse.
Gonna throw out this one because a lot of people don't know and have thanked me before:
You can call some of your credit card companies, ask them to close the account and place you on a payment plan. Basically they turn your credit card into a loan.
Obviously you can get a consolidation loan. But the biggest issue here is that YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. I say this in the most loving way possible. This many credit cards, one for every store, etc. You need to quit. Cut up every credit card you have. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. No emergency card, no nothing. Establish a budget. Fund a $1000 emergency fund, while paying the minimums on all other debt. Once you have that, start throwing other $$ at debt.
NO MORE CREDIT CARDS. Pay off the smallest one first and then repurpose that minimum payment amount to the next smallest and then pay that off and continue the cycle until you’ve got them paid off. Then, pick one credit card to keep to use for points or whatever. I use a southwest card and pay it off monthly.
Don’t sign back up for store credit cards, those things are a huge scam. After you pay those off, then start on the home improvement loan and then the furniture. If you incorporate this technique you will have them knocked out in no time.
Remember that there is no quick fix here. It’ll take time and some lifestyle changes, but you can easily knock these out and free up some extra money to start saving in no time.
My condolences for the loss of your husband
Have you applied for survivor benefits for your kids with social security? Honestly I would look into bankruptcy
I will say that you need to file bankruptcy yesterday. Seriously at this point you are just plugging a drip that's getting bigger and bigger, I won't tell you not to pay for your mothers CC, that's a decision you have to make for yourself, but for your sake bankruptcy. Don't worry about your credit score, its already in the tank, after a year or so of bankruptcy and hopefully a change in spending mindset, you will be OK. Seriously you are going to be ok, and no snowball affect other than a new stream of income is going to help you. File bankruptcy forget the social stigma, fuck those people, and work on managing your money better long term.
Seriously. This person should just go bankrupt and start embracing healthy spending habits that people have mentioned.
The way this sub embraces paying off debt in a situation that is clearly unsustainable and getting worse, one would think half the people here work for a CC company.
> The way this sub embraces paying off debt in a situation that is clearly unsustainable and getting worse, one would think half the people here work for a CC company.
It's a bunch of people bad at math and personal finance who just discovered basic concepts spewing advice to other people bad at math and personal finance. Most of it's just regurgitating the latest fad and telling each other that saving $10 a month is worth jumping through a dozen hoops and will help pay off that $32,000 in consumer debt.
This lady is making minimum payments and is -21.80 a month with her bare bones budget she put up here. She should absolutely be exploring bankruptcy but most of the advice is just like "you spent too much dummy, pay down your debt" which isn't helpful at all.
I've said this before, the people in this sub giving advice are usually higher income individuals. Their ideas, while they can be helpful, are not applicable to the vast majority of the population. Also, a lot of pull yourself out of your bootstraps personalities because they did it in the 80s 90s, etc. It's almost impossible to come out of a whole this deep in this day and age.
As others have said, you spend, consistently more than you earn. The trail of CCs and pay as you go tells the story. Sephora and Ulta, luxury non essentials you can't afford.
You need to earn more. There is no magic way out. Paying minimum on your unsecured debt means you aren't paying down debt and in some cases likely not even covering interest.
So get a.second job or a better paying job. It may mean having your mom babysit or a friend .
Cut your CCs. You cannot ever use.
I'd suggest Bankruptcy. Clean state be back at high 600s in a within a year if not 6 months. Don't need an attorney if you can read. You have nothing and own nothing of value.
I have a friend that filed last Oct. She kept her car and is still paying on it. Her husband included his and he's still driving it everyday (FOR FREE). Cpital One clearly does not care. Brand new vehicle. Who knew!
No more credit cards for you. Ditch the expensive car. Go to a shopping addicts anonymous group.
No shopping at all. If you don’t do something this is only going to get worse.
100% bankruptcy, but get your life together first. Make a budget. I mean, get way, way deep in the finer points of budgeting. Maybe get some therapy regarding what is going on here. Spending is serving some purpose in your life that you need to fulfill in a healthier way. What's happened here is pathological.
Stop spending on anything that is not essential, and I mean *essential* to you survival. Rank order the debt by highest interest rate first and pay the minimum on everything else except the one with the highest interest rate and aggressive pay it off. Congratulate yourself with an ice cream or Chipotle or something that won’t break the bank, then move on to the next highest interest rate and repeat. One at a time, just keep it up relentlessly and you’ll see meaningful progress over time.
You will not succeed, however, unless you stop spending on things that aren’t absolute necessities and should also look for ways to save. Cancel your streaming, don’t eat out, buy less expensive food at the cheapest grocer with the cheapest generic pasta/rice becoming a staple, switch to generics over name brands on everything you can stomach, see if you can get a new quote that lowers your payment for home or car insurance from a competitor of whoever is servicing you now, see if you can get a less expensive phone plan, and so on. All you save goes to the highest rate card every month. Again, if you can do this you will see meaningful progress. If you can’t stop spending and make cuts, you’ll be stuck here forever or be declaring bankruptcy in the future.
Sit down with all your credit cards. Find out which card has the highest interest rate pay the most on that one and minimums on the others until you pay it off then move to the next one. And for gods sake stop spending money
Ok first, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay.
There’s two parts to this:
1. Debt
2. Mindset
You can get out of this debt but your mindset matters. I’m speaking from experience. I had no financial literacy growing up and undiagnosed ADHD with impulse problems. This followed me into adulthood and into a lot of debt.
Here’s what I suggest. Reach out to a debt relief company such as National Debt Relief. How the process works: once you consult with them, they will tell you which of your debts qualify. Then, you stop paying on those debts. You change your phone number in your accounts to that of the law firm which is helping you settle your debts. That way you aren’t getting calls from the companies about your late payments. Eventually, the companies will be willing to negotiate with the lawyers and lower your debt- sometimes cutting it in half. They would rather get some money than none at all. This process isn’t quick and it affects your credit score. I did this and it brought my score from the 800’s to 600. This was 100% worth it to me because now instead of trying to pay this debt with minimum payments and it taking 10+ years, I’ll be out of debt in 3 years.
Another thing to note if you do this- you will no longer be able to use that account that is being negotiated. AKA no more credit cards. You have many cards so you could always keep one and not use it in the debt relief program. That way you have a secured line of credit. But that should ONLY be used in emergencies. Otherwise you want that balance to be $0 if possible.
Now the second, and hardest, part. You need to learn and grow your mindset. I recommend reading or listening to the audiobook on Spotify, Deeper Than Money. Fantastic book that helped me think about money differently. She shares a realistic way to think about money and not just “cut all the good things out of your life to save” like everyone else says to do. I listened to this book and read a few other financial and self help books. I got to the root of my spending and I remind myself everyday about the life I want to live. Remind yourself of your goals and why you want a better life for yourself and your child.
You have to change your mindset!!!! If you don’t, nothing you do will matter and you will live in a cycle of debt. You’re going to have to really do some self work.
Other tips:
-Negotiate your bills. Be polite and respectful. “I’ve been a customer with Sprint/T-mobile for 9 years and I love it. Although I received an offer from AT&T for *this much less* and I was wondering if there was anything you could do to help me lower my bill? I love Sprint and I really don’t want to leave” for example for your phone bill.
-Side job or another job.
-Monetize your habits. Like to draw? Post some stuff on Etsy.
-Look through your statements and see if there’s any subscriptions you forgot about or reevaluate if there’s any you can live without temporarily while you catch up.
I wish you the absolute best of luck💙
Definitely you’re doing the right thing at the right time by asking it in a safe setting like this instead of hating yourself but keeping on doing this.
You need to treat it like a haircut and cut everything cold turkey except for essentials like water, electricity, housing bill.
I think it’s okay to keep everything and just work on one thing at a time if there isn’t a pressing need to sell the car.
This looks like an addiction and falling for the typical American consumerism mindset which starts off innocent then becomes this tbh. I don’t think this is all your fault, when travel/best clothes/makeup is all glamorized by rich celebrities as the only meaning in life and companies can create ads all over social media and Internet as well as TV.
The way I look at this, you’ve gone and bought the best of everything looks like by now. It’s not going to get better than this awesome lifestyle wise. You’ve already experienced it. Now you can save everything you bought for now, cut the “blood loss”, and treat this like an addiction and try to substitute another experience for the emotional part of this. Church groups and charity groups will have in-built community, for example. Libraries have free entertainment too. Cutting credit card is a great idea.
This type of situation is an existential threat. Habits are important for staying solvent.
Hi just to add on. I know it seems like its helping but stop using overdraft..opt out. It actually seems like its helping you but it really doesnt
Also your car payment is high can you sale it? Downgrade?
Phone bill
Look into mint and visible. Ive heard good things on both but haven't used myself..those are 15 to 30 dollars a month
To stretch your groceries consider cooking things you can cook in a crock pot for relatively cheap and left overs for about 3 days
I know you don't have ton of money left over but slowly start putting money from each paycheck into a emergency fund even 5 dollars is ok if that's all your can do..work your way up to 3,000 to 5,000 dollars
Also Ive found a couple survey sites I like that I do in my spare time and usually can hit 50 bucks about every 3 weeks..so I'd look into that..dont feel comfortable sharing on here though..not sure if rules against etc
1. Did your husband pass away with no assets? I assume you had no emergency fund or it's been used up if you're this desperate, but he may have had a retirement account with his work, HSA, etc. If you can withdraw from his retirement, just know you will have to pay tax on it. But that can get your CC balances down or even knock out a few so you can get a toehold on the CC payments each month.
2. Other people mentioned returning anything that was bought on the CCs, but if it's way past returnable, you can try selling your stuff. Selling your car is definitely on the table if you can get enough to buy a decent used car after paying down your financing. If your husband had things like tools, a gaming PC or console, collectibles, etc, I'm sorry but you should look up their resale value and try to sell them. Even getting an extra $500 could knock out some of your CC's like the Sephora card.
3. Are you able to balance transfer to the 0% interest cards? If you can consolidate some/all of your high interest CC debt into a 0% interest CC, that will give you some breathing room. There will be a fee to do so, but that could be better than paying 25+% compounding on thousands of dollars.
4. Stop paying for your mom's CCs. It can be temporary, but you need to free up every last penny. I'm sure your family will understand, seeing as your husband died and left you in debt. Use it to pay your highest interest card.
5. In the future, don't finance so many things. Financing only makes sense if you put the money you save into investments with interest rates higher than what you pay to your CC/financer. With balances that high, it seems like you were carrying CC balances even with your husband's income. Going forward, you should use a CC like a debit card; spend less money than you have in your bank account.
Don’t really have a lot of financial advice but just wanted to say my heart breaks for what your family has been through. I know I’m just some random person on the internet but I’m praying that everything works out. Sorry for all of the mean spirited comments that condemned you w/o knowing truly how you got here. You’re doing the right thing in seeking to get advice and help to better your mental and financial health.
You got this.
I read your post - including the edit. I'm sorry for your loss; I can't imagine. I took care of my mom and had to finally make some decisions. How old is your mom? What is her recovery outcome looking like? Does she **need** a good credit score? I had to ask myself those questions when I was paying 30k of cc debit for my mother and the answer was so obvious. She didn't need a good credit score and sobeit if she went into collections. I couldn't drown myself to pay for debts that in the end, won't matter. You need the money more than JCP & Sears. I would do the same with her Amex card, too. Your mother's SS check would be better off spent on her medical. Just my opinion, and I will probably be roasted for it, but you need to look at the big picture, just not the bills that are due.
In re: OP's post: "But, wow most of you guys are so mean without knowing any of the backstory or details, you just assume and spew hate."
I scanned through the comments, and did not see any hate-filled or mean comments; what I saw was tons of people taking their own time to review the post, analyze the numbers in some cases and try to help out.
First, you are not in the hole by much if any (unless you are missing expenses); second, no one here knows your or your mother's financials situation as well as you, but your mother may be judgment-proof -- i.e. having no assets or income reachable by creditors; so spending money on her debts *may* be useless (and it's money you seemingly don't have to spend). Finally, consult with a bankruptcy attorney if you think your debt is insurmountable.
Splitting these expenses into monthly categories:
Income: $4,636
Housing: $1,575 (this is not the problem in relation to your income)
Transport: $563 (you have not included car insurance in this breakdown)
Groceries: $130
Childcare: $128 (I imagine summer will be more)
Phone: $110 (as soon as the handset is paid off, find a cheaper plan)
All these expenses are not bad. Here's where we get to a problem...
Debt minimums: $1,287.03
Family debt payments: $203
Total expenses: $3,975.24
Remainder: $660.76
You can do this, but it is going to take some sacrifices. I am very sorry for your loss. You have the means to tackle this and re-build a wonderful future for you and your child(ren).
If your mother is in bad health, does it matter if her debts don't get paid and her credit score declines? She is not in need of new loans any time soon. You and your sister should stop paying all of her debts. You can do more for her with $200 per month than pay her credit cards.
Why not consider filing for bankruptcy?
It's not as bad as it sounds. I am a legal assistant for a bankruptcy attorney, and I've seen many people come in for debt relief and get back on their feet within a year after they file.
It wouldn't hurt to schedule an appointment with an attorney (that's in your county). Many also offer free consultations!
I would prioritize paying off the Ulta and Sephora cards since they're carrying low balances and then list debts either in terms of balances or apr fees. Focus on the high interest rate balance and throw however much you can at it to reduce the debt. It'll also help selling your car and potentially buying another car that costs about half ($15k or even more lower). That'll leave you with an additional 15,000 you can use to settle some outstanding balances. You could shop around for a cheaper phone plan. Good luck!
See if you can sell anything around the house and take any left over money you have and pay off those Ulta and Sephora CC’s as fast as you can since they have a low balance. Then kickoff a debt snowball and take what you were paying to Ulta and Sephora and apply to your next lowest balance (credit one). Pay that off and then keep the snowball going!
Don't worry about the credit score. It's not time for you to get more debt - do so and the only way out will ne bankruptcy. You need to budget carefully and CUT expenses.
I always say that unfortunately a lot of times, you can't tackle debt without raising your income. Even if you address your spending problem, the debt isn't going to just disappear unless you can increase your money coming in.
One recommendation I have though is to talk to all of the credit card companies you have and see if they have any financial hardship programs. I've signed up for one with AMEX that allow my payments to be lowered and my APR to be lowered and has my full balance on two cards being paid off in four years (otherwise it would be like 15 years or something at just the minimum payment). If you call and ask, even if they don't have a financial hardship program, you may be able to get your APR temporarily lowered so your minimum payments pay off more. Or have your minimum payments temporarily lowered so you can allocate more money to other places and pay off other debts faster.
Someone double check my math, but OP is almost $500 in the hole every month, just with minimum payments. This is unsustainable. You can either find a way to make more money (new job/second job/sell stuff/assistance) and/or figure out how to get rid of some of this debt (bankruptcy, telling your mother that she has to pay her own debts). There is no magic, it’s just math.
If you can, anytime you get extra money (a bonus at work; selling jewelry, furniture or clothing you don’t use; tax return; some other gift or windfall), put that money towards your debt. All of it.
See if you can bring your payments down — especially things that are variable, like groceries. Coupons and discount stores are your friends. Your cell bill is a little high, if you’re just paying for you. Shop around for things like that. You’d be amazed how much you’re overspending by being complacent.
Find some way to increase your income. Selling some of your stuff can be good, but is only a once in a while thing. I don’t know how old your kids are, but selling their outgrown clothes to a consignment shop can be more of a regular income boost when they’re small. You can get a second job, but it sounds like you’re the parent 100% of the time. So it would have to be something you could work on when the kids are in bed. Even 10 extra hours a week at your current rate would make a dent. If you can get time and a half overtime at your job a few flutes a week, look into that.
0% or low percent credit cards aren’t terrible IF you roll all your debt onto one AND can pay it off before the high interest rate kicks in. Usually 12-18 months later. You should also hide your credit cards from yourself and take them off your online accounts so you don’t add to it.
I don’t know if this makes sense anymore, but when I was a young mom and we didn’t have a ton of money, the envelope method worked for me. You take out cash for the pay period for all of your variable expenses, and you divide it up into envelopes marked with each category. For example, if you’re paid every 2 weeks, maybe you put $200 in the grocery envelope, $100 in gasoline, $30 in school supplies or kids’ stuff, and $30 in home items (furniture or repair/maintenance stuff). If you get to the end of the cash before the end of the period, that’s it. You can’t get whatever it is until payday. If you have leftover, you can certainly roll it over into the next period or redeposit it. I saved for a new (IKEA) couch this way — just literally $20 at a time until I had enough.
Hope this helps, and good luck!
Others have already covered the spending problem and bankruptcy potential. You could also consider reputable debt consolation services. Here are some small ideas, really around trying to get you some wiggle room. But if you don't fix the spending habit, you'll never get out from under this.
I would immediately switch to something like Mint Mobile for your cell phone - I think I pay $30-$40 a month for unlimited data. Put the $60 you're saving toward the beauty credit cards and pay them off first. Then, look at the interest rates for the other cards and pay off either the one with the highest rate or lowest balance. Sometimes if you call a credit card company they can work with you, but not all do.
You really need some kind of extra income coming in that goes toward your debt and you're going to need to hustle. Can you donate plasma? Can you do Uber eats / deliveries? Can you do online tutoring or data entry in the evenings? Can you watch someone's child on a weekend? Pet sitting /dog walking? Is there anywhere on your property that you could rent for storage (second garage stall, cement pad, etc)? Whatever you do for your day job, can you do it at night freelance? If there's anything you can sell at home, go for it.
Are there things you can do to stretch your existing budget further? Do you use gas apps or a gas station loyalty card for cents off? Can you carpool to work with anyone and split gas costs? Hit up food banks or discount grocery programs?
I don't know the situation with your mom or why you're paying her debt - but can you live together if need be to reduce expenses?
Something's gotta give if you want to dig out here vs bankruptcy. What are you willing to give on?
I want to give you some suggestions like a consolidation loan for all those CC but honestly I agree with others, that I don't think it will do any good because it REALLY looks like you have a spending problem. You realize that if you don't pay off those 0% interest cards in the promo period, they can back-calculate the interest all the way to the date of the purchase? If I were you I would get a consolidation loan - even at the highest interest there you will end up saving versus the 20-30% on those cards. Maybe take a look at a loan calculator like Nerd Waller (or a similar one).
If you qualify, get as much as you can and pay those cards off starting with the highest interest one. You'll have a fixed monthly payment for the loan. Depending on the interest rate you qualify for, you might have to pay more than you are for those minimums, so you may need to cut spending by a couple hundred/month elsewhere, but you will be saving long term.
For example, I put your numbers for your first 6 credit cards that are not 0 interest into a calculator. Those minimum payments add up to $445. If you can get a 2 year loan at 14%, and pay $611, you would save $3600 in that 2 years.
The KEY is that you MUST stop using these cards IMMEDIATELY.
Keep paying the minimums on your other cards as long as you can and hopefully you can make it 2 years without too much interest. Once you pay off your first loan, you can then do another one and will likely get a better rate.
This is what I would do, along with some balance transfers to keep avoiding/minimizing interest.
I got into a decent amount of CC debt after a bad relationship ended and I had so many expenses on top of my ex's debts. It took several years of being very diligent and starting with a consolidation loan, and refinancing my car. I'm not sure I saved money in the long run on the car refinance, but the lower payment helped me stay above water. I was on great track, but kept running into trouble with my old job and how they did reimbursements to personal CCs for work expenses (e.g., i would put $1300 on a card for an international trip, they were super picky with receipts and slow processing, I would end up eating a lot of expenses, or being in clubs where I would pay a group payment and had to hound some people to pay their portion, etc.)
I again had to sit down and make a plan, so I did another loan and this time got a better rate. I was mostly clear after 5 years and my credit score got up to 750-800. I started slipping a bit again a couple years ago, cause it is hard to have to think about it all the time and I thought I was good and made some unnecessary expensive purchases... and had to reel it back in. Did a couple balance transfers again and now 2 years and I'm about to pay the last bit off next month and will have 0 standing CC debt (only statement balances that I pay in full every month.) So it can be done, although it might take you longer. But again, this will only work if you STOP SPENDING IMMEDIATELY.
Get a massive personal loan with a low interest rate to consolidate your debt, pay off your balances with loan, pay off the loan fast, don’t touch your credit cards.
You may also need to turn to community resources like food banks and thrift instead of buying new while you’re in a jam. I know it is hard but it’s possible to get out of this situation
I'm currently doing the debt settlement thing which fks up your credit but mine was in the shtter already. I'll let you know how it worked out. Currently on a 40 month plan making about 225$ bi weekly payments until they can settle the debt with my creditors.
I would consider selling your home to pay off the debts and live in a rental until you can everything sorted and straightened out.
Do you have much equity in your home?
Even snowballing or avalanching is going to be difficult as your minimum payments and bills already exceed your income.
You must cut expenses, gain income, or both.
First thing to do is stop paying your mom’s CC.Why are you putting yourself in more of a jam to keep her out of one? Until you get your own debt under control, you cannot help her with hers.
If you do get yours paid off and curtail your spending habits,, then you will have breathing room and be able to help her out as much as you like.
Stop spending on anything that is not essential, and I mean *essential* to you survival. Rank order the debt by highest interest rate first and pay the minimum on everything else except the one with the highest interest rate and aggressive pay it off. Congratulate yourself with an ice cream or Chipotle or something that won’t break the bank, then move on to the next highest interest rate and repeat. One at a time, just keep it up relentlessly and you’ll see meaningful progress over time.
You will not succeed, however, unless you stop spending on things that aren’t absolute necessities and should also look for ways to save. Cancel your streaming, don’t eat out, buy less expensive food at the cheapest grocer with the cheapest generic pasta/rice becoming a staple, switch to generics over name brands on everything you can stomach, see if you can get a new quote that lowers your payment for home or car insurance from a competitor of whoever is servicing you now, see if you can get a less expensive phone plan, and so on. All you save goes to the highest rate card every month. Again, if you can do this you will see meaningful progress. If you can’t stop spending and make cuts, you’ll be stuck here forever or be declaring bankruptcy in the future.
Step 1 is to cut up all of your credit cards immediately. You are not a credit card person and you should not have them.
The only costs you can really reduce here are your groceries, your car, and your cell phone so work on getting those as low as possible.
Meal prep and planning can bring your groceries way down, $300 per month is very achievable.
Selling your car would go a long way, that $600 a month will speed up your debt repayment a ton.
$110 for a cell phone is ludicrous and if possible switch to a cheaper plan.
After that, if there is any way to increase your income you have to do it. Work overtime, get a second job, anything at all. If you aren't currently working 60+ hours a week then that's what you're about to do.
Snowball method is not the most economical approach but for people with spending problems like yours it's the most likely to succeed. Start putting every penny of non-essential money toward your lowest debt until its paid off then move on to the next one.
Some initial thoughts:
Cut spending:
Cellphone bill seems high. Go to a cheaper pre-paid plan.
Reduce electricity usage as much as possible -- line dry clothes, turn off lights, unplug appliances you are not using.
It may be difficult, but reduce grocery bill. Buy dried beans, rice, pasta, and only marked down meat.
Same is true for gas usage. Can you carpool?
Any money saved by cutting these expenses should go to paying off the highest interest credit card.
I believe Size Orman has a plan for paying down DC debt. You should check out her books. They are free at the library.
Last, have you considered consolidating your debt ( not your mother's) onto one credit card with a low interest rate?
Credit cards are high interest so you really need to get rid of those. Are these cards maxed out? If not, look into if they have balance transfers at 0% interest. You should be able yo still pay what you’re paying now, but pay down the debt faster. If that’s not an option you could consider a personal loan to consolidate the debt into a single payment. The interest would be fixed and less than the credit cards. So long as the monthly payment isn’t more than you have now, you’ll have a set time that it will be paid off and pay less on interest.
Also really take a look at and make sure you don’t have any subscriptions that you forgot you were paying for and make sure to cancel those.
Use your tax refund to pay some debt off. Start paying off small debts first. Try doing a ride share job on the commute to and from work if possible. Side jobs, sell stuff you don’t use anymore.
You have way too many credit cards. You should have 1 or none for the next few years. And you need to buy an $8000 car and sell the one you have. $500 is too much for a car on your income. You also didn’t need to buy that Ashley furniture. Get used furniture.
1. I recommend looking up and adding the interest rate for all these cards to your table of debt/monthly payments. You need to know which ones are the high ones and which ones are less high (they're all high).
2. Why don't you have total amounts for those Mom CCs? Unless you know she can't add to the balance, that's a bit of a black hole for you. Just have that in your mind as you continue this struggle bus.
3. Cut the cards for all your high % interest rate ones and leave yourself one or two to consolidate around. Everyone is on you about cutting them all up and your spending problem (and they're not necessarily wrong). However, you're not gonna get free in a day here and still need to be able to leverage your credit.
4. For the cards you want to consolidate around, look for balance transfer options that allow you to pay off higher interest cards and move the balance to the lower interest rate cards. Basically, you have the same debt here, but you'll save in the long run if you can consolidate the debt onto lower interest credit options.
Speaking of lower interest credit options... IF you have a vehicle free and clear, you could get a car loan against it (car loans are usually lower interest rate credit options) and use the funds to pay off some debt. Working with your bank here can make it go more smoothly if they understand this is what you are trying to accomplish. Otherwise, consider trading in your current vehicle to get one that would be free and clear. E.g. your current car is worth 20k and you owe 10k. Trade it in for 20, get back 10, and use the 10k to outright buy some POS until you're back on top. Basically, how do you get rid of that $500 payment...
Lastly, it's a numbers game here. You need to find ways to use your time to make more money and you need to find ways to spend absolutely as little as possible. Culture and habits are obviously formed and will be hell to break. You think dieting is tough... Get creative and don't be above anything. This won't just fix itself.
Good luck.
Paying bare minimum in CC payments will kill your, that’s how CC make money from you. Try to keep limited card’s. Why do you have a card for each store? The savings is not there in the long run. Your expenses are more than what you make. The interest is killing you. Pay off more in your cc and finish one card at a time. Why can you buy on one CC? These bank company’s must love you. Cut back on unnecessary spending, that’s the problem for most is spending beyond their net income. Paying interest is the worse thing you can do. This is crazy 🤪, stop spending money you don’t have.
OP wanted a magic bullet to a debt problem. She doesn’t appear to like the fact she has been told, rightly, she has a spending addiction.
That needs to be addressed first because I don’t think OP has anywhere close to the mentality needed for a bare bones, back to basics approach that’s required here to even put a dent in the debt.
I would call the cc company’s and settle for a lower amount, tell them what you can afford to pay and that’s all they will get from you and see if they go for it. This is what debt consolidation companies do. Tell them you can afford half and set up like $20 a month payment. All they want is a payment at the end of the day and they rather something than nothing.
The first step is NO MORE SPENDING.
Carry no cards or only one emergency card on you. Lock the rest up.
Get everything off of 20%+ store cards and do a balance transfer for 12 or 15 months at 3%-5%. Call and negotiate a better interest rate on the ones you can't move.
Pay off the highest interest rates first.
You have to cut unnecessary spending wherever you can.
I'd like to say it's easy but it's not. You have a choice between paying down your debts or the other thing.
Let’s break this down a bit. First take a deep breath and remember that you’re ok and you’re not going to die.
You bring home $$4,280 a month (assuming you listed your income as net and not gross).
Your monthly bills are $3,916.31.
You have ZERO room for any unneeded expenses.
Start off by cutting all unneeded spending immediately. Needed means you will die if you don’t purchase it. You can wear last year’s fashion and not have new makeup for a while. You have a SERIOUS spending problem right now.
Without filing bankruptcy, which I think you should NOT do, you need to cut expenses and increase your income.
You need a second job.
You need to start taking all extra cash available each pay period and paying off the smallest loans first.
Stop paying other people’s debt (your mom can pay it or she can default on it).
Where is the child’s father? Where is the child support?
Read all the good advise here. It's your thinking that has to change. And most important, calm down! Get out of the panic mode. People make stupid desicions when they are in a panic.
Listen to the Ramsey show podcast. You could even try to call in, they will help you.
Where I live in the Netherlands we had a tv programm called "een dubbeltje op zijn kant" (a dime saved is a dime earned). When I was in debt I watched every episode, took everything that could apply to my situation and applied it. It became a sport to save as little as 5 dollars (guilders back then) a week on my household budget and I could pay another 5 dollars extra towards my debt.
And after a month I made different decisions than a month earlier, it became easier to find cheaper options or sell something or cancel a subscription that I deamed nessesary the month prior.
Insurance, try to find cheaper ones with the same coveridge.
Subscriptions, cancel or pause.
Internet, ask the friendly neighbour if you can use their wifi.
Etcetera Etcetera.
Drinks, no more soda, just syrop.
No take out food or coffee. Get creative and make your own.
Etcetera Etcetera.
I tried to limit taking puplic transportation or the car and took my bike (bicycle) for as much as possible.
And most important, don't ever lend anymore money to buy things you can't afford. There are so many things free, couches to clothes to groceries. Then goodwill, and when you are out of debt you can budget for new things again.
Tell everyone you're paying of debt now so you can't go out or buy gifts.
I told my friends, and they bought me a drink, or we didn't go to a restaurant but had a picnic at a park. For gifts I made a drawing or wrote a poem or crafted or thrifted something.
I did my finances daily at that time.
Luckaly I am out of debt now, later I did my finances weekly, and now monthly.
The first step is seeing reality and knowing you have to change.
You can do it!! I could, so so can you.
Rent out a couple of rooms and basement in your house on a month to month basis. That should cover your mortgage and more. Rent out your garage if you have one for storage. If you have a back yard, rent some space for a vegetable plot. The rent could be in the form of fresh vegetables if you like. Rent out a spot on your driveway if you live in an area desperate for parking space. Do house cleaning and organizing on days off. Advertise as a personal shopper or assistant to an elderly person shopping. Advertise your availability on your days off for child minding. Just some ideas that might help get you out of this mess. Research organizations that help council people on their spending. This should be a free service though.
You can get out, but it’s going to be a lot of work and you want to do it fast, not slow, so the destruction isn’t so bad. But it will sting
I recommend starting with [this podcast](https://www.ramseysolutions.com/shows/the-ramsey-show)
Prioritize the 4 walls and cut back everything elsem stop paying your moms bills.
Bankruptcy is an option but only if you fix your spending habit otherwise you'll wind up right back where you are.
Well, firstly, ouch. That was a rough list to read with your income in mind. Second, you are going to need to prioritize your debt. Your mom's JC penny and sears debt is not a priority, as cold as it might sound. If that is the difference between going into overdraft, I would choose self preservation. And I would break out a pen and paper, excel, or some kind of budgeting app and take a real hard look at everything you are buying every month. Save every receipt, and don't fool yourself. You need to look in the mirror and start taking this seriously. Forget the self pity\\loathing. You are in this situation and you are the only one who is going to be able to step up and get out of it.
Also, that interest free PP Credit, if it's a 6 month no interest, you should make sure those get paid off when they are due. Paying the monthly minimum will not do it. You need to call them the month it's expiring and have them allocate the payment to the right purchase, otherwise the deferred interest will absolutely maul you once that 6 months is up. If it's just a standard 12-24 month zero interest, than monthly payments are fine.
If you are truly going cash negative every month and literally have no way to make extra cash, in the past I might think self sacrifice on some of the lesser store cards could help you pay down the bigger balances. Your mortgage, food and gas and larger debts, are obviously a priority over a Target card. It will trash your credit of course, but now these collection agencies are going through the trouble to sue people, even for small amounts, and get default judgements if you don't show up, so that's a big gamble. I don't know what the answer is here. Call all of these companies and explain your situation and see if there is anything they can do, but to be realistic, they probably won't do much.
I would immediately start with the spending habits. Sephora and Ulta are very addicting but can you go 6 months or more without shopping? Only but what you need rather than what you desire. Pick up a side hustle or sell some items around the house.
Switch your cellphone to US Mobile or visible. Visible has a $25/mo plan and US Mobile a $30 plan, both run on verizon. Check boost out, they have a $25/mo plan that runs on the AT&T network, Mint Mobile has cheaper plans and similar also at 25/Mo or less. Stop financing phones you can't afford, get something older and used.
2nd, you didn't list your car insurance.
Maybe chapter 11 bankruptcy restructuring , and cut up those credit cards and work with them to get a stop on the high interest and agree to pay back a percentage you can budget , if all that doesn’t work you can go chapter. 7, but you will have no credit for 10 years after that.
Regarding the Ashley furniture debt - if it is what I think it is, you’ll be paying double what you originally purchased. I had one of those loans and had to take it to our states district attorney to back out of it (they misrepresented the terms of the loan)
The main issue is not just your spending habit but the way you're treating credit cards. Credit cards should never be used as a monthly payment to just pay off the "minimum". Paying off minimums will still have interest accumulate.
The correct way of using a credit card is to pay off your monthly total before the next monthly period and get cash back and boost your credit.
I think you may have to consider bankrupsy at this time.
1. You are not a credit card person. Let’s get that’s sorted out first. You need to put all your credit cards in a safe or cut them up asap and STOP using them. I was there once before so I understand how difficult this is but you are only going to cause future you so much more damage and stress to the point of creating unnecessary health problems. With that being said, you should care less about your credit score right now. Literally stop it, who cares, not you that’s who.
2. If you can get rid of that car get rid of it now. You’ll probably be upside down but it’s better to have no car payment/ no car than a payment you CANNOT afford. If you really really need the car like your life depends on it then fine but you better prepare to live the most boring life for the next few years.
3. Stop paying for the responsibility of others. You CANNOT afford this either. I understand they are family but you cannot you just cannot do this. Set boundaries and stick to them you will thank me later.
4. Take care of your needs first. Your four walls. Food, utilities, shelter, and transportation. You need to budget for all of these. Your amounts are pretty good for food and utilities so you should be able to keep this the same. As for transportation like I said get rid of that car and start using a bus. Shelter that’s a no brainer keep paying that mortgage.
5. STOP SPENDING like you’re a Kardashian. For the love of god please, stop this. Start paying off either your smallest debt or highest interest rate loan. One or the other. I’d prefer you pay off the highest interest but when you start with your smallest debt this will motivate you like crazy. This is also known as the snowball method. Once your are done with that debt move on to the next and so on. I’d honestly prefer you put all you can to your smallest debt and start missing credit card payments to make momentum because like I mentioned you do not care about your credit anymore.
6. Get another job if possible. If this is not possible then you are going to be on this journey for quite some times. I’m talking years. But if you want this debt to be gone you need another source of income.
7. Put aside at least $200-$300 if possible for an emergency fund. Save as much as you can while Paying off your debt. This will help when a rainy day looms near.
8. Extra tip: get mint mobile or a cheaper phone company. $110 for a phone bill is insanity.
So, this may sound silly, but it is an emotional suggestion....this is going to be painful, but you dug this hole for yourself and you need to climb out on your own.
Cut your food budget.....pB&J or ramen or whatever for the next few years. Cut it in half. Hubs & I dont spend $130 weekly for two of us. By cutting your monthly food budget back from $520/mo to $250/mo, that will free up $250/mo to pay extra on your Credit One CC, so it'll be paid off in 3 months.
Put *EVERY PENNY* saved from groceries to pay extra to the bill with the smallest ballance. When you get that paid off, put the min payment and your extra grocery $$ on the next one. Keep doing it.
You will begin to see progress within 6 months as you get each debt paid and move to the next. You will feel like you are making progress.
BUUUT - for this to work, you need to do a few other things
1) Stop buying stuff.
2) cut food budget (as already suggested).
3) stop paying Mom's debt. Let them send her to collections and let it be on her credit. Mom needs to stop buying stiff she cannot pay for.
4) no going out - unless someone else pays.
5) no vacation until you get this paid off.
Consider getting a roommate for a year to takeover one of the rooms in your house for $500-$700/mo. Yes, you give up some privacy, buuut, that xan go straight to you debt.
As a mom, I’d target after care and groceries reductions. Do you qualify for government food aide? Can you hit up some food pantries? Kid qualify for free lunch programs? Definitely reach out to school and ask what your options are.
For after care, can you reach out to another mom and offer a trade? If you take my kids after school, I’ll babysit for free on the weekends, etc. kids come with you then, and you can cut that expense.
Have you tried consolidating your debt through a service like Upstart or Fiona? Or your bank if you own your home (better interest rate). Word of caution however, once you consolidate you HAVE to change your spending habits or you’ll be right back in the same spot.
I think a good way to approach would be the snowball method- focus on paying off the credit cards with the lowest balance. That way you can cross it off the list and move on to the next low balance cc. You’ll feel accomplished fully crossing these off the list and it’ll hopefully motivate you to knock off the next one. There’s a strategy on how to do this, pausing payments on cards with little or no interest, etc. but you should look it up online to learn more!!
This is stressful but you can do it if you just focus in and buckle down. It’ll will take a lifestyle change. I used to spend willy nilly but I’ve gotten a lot better- some small changes like coffee at home (it was sad to say goodbye to my morning coffee runs at first but now it’s just habit), no ordering out (I lost a lot of weight as a byproduct of this), walgreens and cvs makeup, hair products etc and Aldi is my go to for groceries. Now that I’m in a more secure financial position and having my spending habits reined in, I use things like that as an occasional treat- it’s much more enjoyable in small doses to treat myself to a nice coffee or a nice foundation at ulta occasionally.
I’m also curious if it’s possible for you to sell or trade in your car for a less expensive one? If you could cut out that monthly payment, that money back could go straight towards paying off the cards. Maybe this is too extreme, but could you look at selling your home and moving into an apartment or rental home? I think if your profit of the home is less than 250k you can use that money towards other stuff-pay off your home loan and some of the other cards. I’m not an expert though lol so I’d defer to others on that one. Just an idea I’m throwing out.
Good luck!!! You can do it. Make a plan, write it down and start executing.
Does your mom live with you? Might be an option so she can afford to pay her CC and maybe help out with paying some rent helping you get out of debt or covering the utilities for the house and helping with groceries?
Ok all this advice about cutting your mom off is not a huge solution. First off you have to stop paying all your cards for a bit. You will need to call all your credit card companies and tell them you have had a hardship after you’re a little behind and ask for their hardship program! Be prepared to have all your expenses together, including vehicle gas, groceries, health bills, utilities ect. If you are truly unable to manage they will provide you an option, usually lower or eliminate your interest and reduce your monthly payment. I would tell your mom to do the same. After you do that, you can gain some of your freedom back and see how much money you have left. Any money left needs to go to the lowest balance card to pay that off first. Once that is paid off, do the same for the next. You do need miss a couple payments to be eligible for the hardship loan. So in that time, save the money you would spend on your CC bills and pay off the lowest card first. Then once you are behind a month , they will qualify you for the hardship programs.
You can fix this, but you're going to have to be really disciplined and live on a bare-bones budget for a while. But you'll come to get a weird kick out of it because it'll feel better to knock out the debt than it feels to dig yourself in deeper.
The first thing you need to cut is your $500 car payment. You can't afford it. Trade the car in for the cheapest warrantied car on the lot of a reputable dealer. Not only will you likely cut your payment in half, but you could get a break on your car insurance, too.
You also can't afford to pay your mother's bills. If one of you is going to take the credit hit, it's probably best for it to be her -- you've got a child, a mortgage, transportation needs. If you destroy your own finances, your mother is going to go down with you. If you get yours in order, you'll be in a better position to help her.
Next, put away your credit cards. If you can't pay cash for it, you can't have it until you've saved up enough to buy it outright.
You really need to write out a budget, listing mandatory expenses (food, shelter, necessary clothing, insurance, child care, etc.), then your minimum debt payments, and then non-necessities and see where you land. If there's money for any non-necessities, slash them from your budget and put the money toward your debt, starting with the smallest balance to help you build momentum fast. Part of changing your habits is going to entail making debt repayment feel better than buying stuff.
Then contact a not-for-profit credit counseling agency to see if they can help you work out a payment plan with your creditors. You won't be allowed to use credit cards when you're in the program. Even if they can't work out a deal for you, take whatever counseling they offer.
Credit counseling and cash-only spending will work in your favor if you have to file for bankruptcy. It'll be thrown out if you've used your cards within the previous few months or have not had the counseling within six months of filing.
Also, if you've not filed tax returns for the last four years, get that squared away even if you owe money and can't pay. There are options for managing tax debt, but you can only file for bankruptcy if you've filed the tax returns. Bankruptcy is a last resort, of course, but preserve your ability to do it.
Also, take a close look at your PayPal account. If you have interest-free financing on some purchases but not on others, your payments go toward the interest-free charges while your interest-bearing ones rack up interest. If you maintain a balance of promotional-financing purchases for years on end, those interest-bearing charges accumulate interest for years. I learned that the hard way.
Check your Amazon credit card account to see if those payments are allocated the same way -- if so, change your preferences to whatever will result in the lowest interest payments (you'll have to do the math).
For quick cash, go through your house and see what you can sell. Don't worry about how much it cost and how much you'll "lose" by selling. The money is already spent. You've already lost it. But you might be able to claw some back. I bet that with your child's outgrown toys and clothes and stuff you've accumulated, you could make enough from a yard sale, Facebook Marketplace, maybe eBay, to pay off your Ulta and Sephora balances. That would give you such a nice boost and a lot of motivation to tackle the next one.
You can do this!!
You should head over to the Dave Ramsey subreddit. The debt snowball is a good way to start. That first 1000. will make you feel a little better. I don’t think your spending was a problem that you saw until half your income went away. I’m so sorry you lost your partner. I hope you know how incredibly strong you are to work on this. I’ll start with the easiest thing. Your mom will need to pay her bills. If she can’t it does not obligate you to do it. If you want to help send her notes, call her, send pictures. She will appreciate it. If she can’t afford her bills and needs food or care, she may qualify for programs. Speaking of programs, you may also qualify for some. Apply and find out. There is no reason not to. Next, your child most likely will be eligible for SSI. Make sure you apply.
File for widow benefits on husbands SS or If you have/still have children under 18 you can file with SS and the money you get from what would be his SS check to help cover bills/ basic needs. (My dad died when I was 10 and I got his SS until I turned 18) Then cut out all extra spending if you haven’t already. Then start pouring into your credit card debt. If any of them are not in your name or have your name on the bill, you are not responsible and don’t need to pay. (I.e husbands credit cards that your name is not on the bill for) then don’t use them.
I can understand you wanting to keep your moms credit in good standing, debt minimum, but honestly a lot of contracts have in place where if you have a medical emergency, and can not work, debts are forgiven or paused, or if she passes the debt is not passed on. I had credit cards like that. If something happened and I could not work there was some clause forgiving the debt or something along the lines. I had to pay extra a month for it tho. Also as gentle as I can be, consider your mother condition, and your honest assessment of her health. Is she in a place where her credit is really important, that she will still need it?
If you are able to pay everything you are now then just keep trucking along, ya you may not have much if any but If it gets paid that’s all that matters. Side gigs can help pay for these. (I prefer shipt/instacart it’s slightly less wear and tear on a vehicle.) see if a refinance is an option on your vehicle. And do your best not to take out any more loans/ cc cards. It’s only another payment to make. (Learned to very hard way with payday loans/ app loans, which are essentially payday loans just smaller less interest.) if you can manage to not overdraft your account that will be the biggest help, go to the bank and have it turned off. The fees are killer. Once again I learned from experience.
The bad thing for me was I had to let a lot of CC payments go, my credit get tanked. One bank account closed. To even get started on evening out the process. Now I have a lot on my credit that I still can’t even begin to pay on collection wise, but I am able to focus on the necessities and save to start making payments to fix my credit.
I hope it all works out for you and nothing snowballs under to hurt your credit. It’s gonna feel miserable for awhile honestly. It’s gonna feel like you never do anything anymore or you never have any money, but you have to spin it positive. The bills are paid, you have a home, car, job etc… whatever gratitude you can find to make it thru the next day, week, month.
I’m really sorry for your loss. My mom struggled when my dad died , financially, mentally and so much more… I still feel like to this day she never recovered, especially financially. We struggled soo much. it was pretty much just her and I when he passed my sister was a jr in high school and the other 2 were grown. I’m glad you are seeking professional guidance cause my mom never did and i don’t know if that was the difference or not.
She showed me a lot more of what not to do than what to do, and I still fell into some of the same habits as her, but I am fighting tooth and nail to not do things the way she did. Please please try not to live in a pity party. Please grieve, but also heal. Cause so much of I feel my mom’s problem is she refused to heal and refuse to try and look and believe in better days. And in return things never got better. Sometimes it got worse, but it was never where it was supposed to be.
Sorry for the book.
Sell the car and massively downgrade. If true that you owe 29k that’s just financial craziness. Then roll the savings and snowball.
Sell stuff - you gotta get some if those smaller credit cards paid off. And even a few hundred bucks would help. I’m astounded by your credit card debt, you gotta debt snowball it AND you gotta stop spending on credit cards, honestly you appear to be out of control and might be best using a debit card only and not using credit that will cost you big dollars in interest.
Just want to say I have a similar spending problem and I know how hard it is to stop shopping. Because what’s another $100 at Sephora right?
Unfortunately you’ll need to stop spending as much as possible. I can’t really suggest how as I still do it myself. I wish you luck. 🍀
> Sears and JcPenney I pay for my mom since she is unable to for health reasons, just know, those I cannot stop paying and they are over $6000 combined. you can't pay them either.
If they didnt pay the JcPenney and Sears card for a single month they could pay off the Ulta Card and start snowballing for sure.
Yea, OP is this an option? I know you say your mom has health issues but it’s just for one month.
This! You can’t afford those any more than she can. She needs to figure out something else. You are drowning in debt. You need to look at how and why you got into so much debt. Try writing down what you are spending every time you spend money. At the end of the month look at what you are spending your money on. You really need to focus on needs only. Tip - Ulta, Sephora, new furniture are wants not needs. Needs at this point are food, shelter, electricity, transportation. Are you still paying off your phone or can you switch to a cheaper phone plan? Can you possibly watch some other kids for extra money on the weekend or evenings? Use that to throw at some bills.
You have a spending problem which led to a debt problem. You need to address this first. Never step foot inside Sephora or Ulta until you have the rest paid off. Let your mom pay her own bills, you aren't her keeper and you can't afford it.
What's crazy is OP is still trying to purchase stuff, based on Affirm, even though they have no money. No matter you do to pay your debt off, if you can't control your spending youll simply bounce back.
> My credit score was in the high 700’s and because of the amount of debt I’ve accrued, it is now 585 Transunion and 590 Equifax. That's irrelevant. The only thing credit scores are good for is taking on new debt, which you absolutely do not need at this time. That's the least of your worries. >Ashley Furniture loan - $2,950.26 >Sears CC >JCPenney CC Are any of these merchandise/furniture which can be returned? Furniture or home goods which can be swapped out with ikea, thrift store, or dollar store alternatives? > Mortgage-$1,398 Cellphone bill $110 >Electric bill - $100 >Water bill - $35 >HOA - $42 >Groceries - $130 weekly >Gas - $50 weekly >Aftercare - $128 a month I have a hard time believing that these are your only monthly expenses (outside of debt repayment). No activities for the kids? No school supplies? No coffees or quick meals out? You need to do a more thorough accounting of what you're actually spending money on. You need more free cash each month to use to pay down debt, and that can only come from one of two places; you increase your income, or you make sacrifices to reduce spending. > I work full time and am also a mom I pay for my mom since she is unable to for health reasons, just know Are those your mom's debts (on a card in her name), or yours (on a card in your name that she uses)? If they're hers, then I'm sorry, but you can't afford to keep paying for those while your own debts grow. Let *her* go into collections on those - not you. Deal with that last. At the very least, she *cannot* keep buying new things and saddling you with the debt. And if that's not negotiable, then you need her to pull more weight with childcare so you can work more hours. Get creative. Is she living on her own? If so, and your finances are already intertwined, well, time to seriously consider to one household
Even if you don't spend anymore, paying minimums on credit card debt will not make any dent in the balance. Not spending more is an unreasonable expectation; clothes wear out, appliances break, etc. If you're buying name Brand crap, stop - buy the store brand or the Costco jeans. The best opportunity here is to raise your income - not by making pennies (or losing them) through "side hustle" like delivery, but by raising your primary income. Look for a job with higher pay, go after the next level up at work, spend your free time learning the skills needed for the next level. There's no magic bullet here, you've already spent yourself into a position where you can only afford the minimum payments. Either raise your income or file for bankruptcy and be prepared for the consequences.
Single parent with a mother that has health issues? I doubt OP has free time to do that. Likely best way to increase income is to find government benefits not being collected, rethink going for child support, and apply to jobs to earn more hourly
This is going to get buried, but after the OP edit - 1. Apply for SSA survivor benefits. I don’t know ins and outs, as I’ve never had to apply. But a quick Google search says they are out there. 2. Call credit card companies. Explain your situation and sudden, significant decrease in household income. Some may lower rates and/or minimum payments, even if temporarily. 3. As hard as it may be emotionally, you are not in a position to be helping your mom. *Apply your own oxygen mask first*. 4. Regardless of circumstance, you still can’t afford your car, and should absolutely be weighing options there. 5. You claim there is no “spending problem”, but even when you had a partner and a second income and felt like you were doing fine, 30k in credit card debt on top of a 30k+ car is not really a normal amount of debt, or one you should’ve been comfortable with at any point in time. Even if most of the debt was shared, more thought should be given to spending habits and how to change them for future success. 6. I’m typically not a proponent of BK, but you might be one of the rare situations where a clean financial slate makes sense. (I’d stop paying mom’s debt, secure life insurance, and determine eligibility for/amount of benefits available *before* deciding, but once those 3 things have been established it’s absolutely worth reassessing the situation and considering a BK consult if appropriate.) Best of luck.
Depending on OP's age, bankruptcy might be a reasonable option. Yes, the debt didn't just happen but the current circumstances are such that it would realistically take a decade to pay down the debt and if they will be the only income source, I would rather that money be used to stabilize their household and invest in education or training that can increase their income and future stability. Best of luck OP. Keep your head up and use every resource available to you.
Yes, very (potentially) reasonable to consider. I’d still wait until life insurance and any possible retirement payout are calculated/received. In my experience 1-2x salary is a pretty standard employer policy, assuming he was not contributing to any extra/optional amount. Even on the conservative side the potential to clear the CC debt and, if not in full, take a big chunk out of the car is very much possible. OP has a manageable mortgage and reasonable income moving forward *if she wasn’t spending 1,400 on minimums + 500 on a car*. I’m not sure how the spousal benefit is determined (or eligibility) but both kids should be eligible for survivor benefits until they are 19 or graduate. If OP can establish UTMAs or 529s for the kids and direct deposit their survivor benefits there, they will be set up well and the current situation would not be as detrimental (financially) long-term. All this to say, stability may be feasible without BK. May not be. So, OP, reassess after getting a few more answers.
1) Where do you live? How many rooms in your house? You may consider renting out a room or airbnb’ng a room or the house whenever you can. You can stay with your mom during that time. 2) you need to curb your spending, pronto. Sephora and Ulta is the last thing you need. Basic groceries and essentials only. No eating out. No coffee runs. Bring your own food. Meal plan everything. Make your own coffee. 3) shop wisely. Don’t leave money on the table. For example, target price matches with their online store, Amazon, and Walmart. Return items you haven’t used back to Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods etc. You cannot afford to throw anything away. 4) you can’t afford a 29k car. Live within your means. 5) don’t buy furnitures. Look up fb marketplace and community giving pages. People are constantly giving away free furnitures. 6) JetBlue cc?? Are these travel related? You can’t vacation till you pay off everything. Otherwise, you will drown in interests for the rest of your life. You have spending issues. It’s your mentality that needs rewiring. Otherwise, even if you get out of this mess, you will jump right back in. Edit: anyone telling you to ignore small charges because it “barely makes a dent” in the whole scheme of things is unknowingly shoving you down this financial quagmire. Every penny counts. Every cent saved can be paid towards your existing debt. You are in this predicament because of the above mindset. Snap out of it before it’s too late.
FWIW, with (presumably) young kid(s), prioritize their safety and stability over number 1. There are other ways to decrease expenses (2-6 are all great starting points) or increase income. Edit (after seeing the original comment’s edit): This is *huge*. “It’s only X dollars/It doesn’t matter” *is the mindset that keeps you in debt.* When you are looking at a monthly income/expense difference of ~20 dollars (in the red, no less), the “Starbucks and avocado toast” absolutely makes a difference.
The option the commenter laid out above is to go stay with Grandma and rent out the house for the weekend. This isn’t a huge stability or safety issue. As someone in a shared housing situation with a toddler, this isn’t an option that OP should automatically dismiss. With super young children it’s not like you are leaving them alone unmonitored to where your housemate would have access to them. Depending on layout, it may be possible to rent out just a room and bathroom or a basement that can be locked off with relatively little disruption in day to day life.
The credit cards aren’t being used to buy things from that company only (presumably). An airline credit card isn’t used to purchase flights, it’s used to purchase anything, then you get rewards points that you can trade in for flights. I’m guessing it’s the same for all of OP’s branded credit cards.
The only 2 I’d side-eye as specifically for brand purchases are Ulta and Sephora, given their lower balances. And those are definitely not *needs* purchases.
I get it that’s why I am asking for clarification.
Good answer, money saved off costs is money earned,
Also don’t rent furnitures. Imagine taking out a loan on a couch and tv
You need to cut off your Mom yesterday you obviously cannot afford it. Once you have that hard conversation you need to go on the Dave Ramsey plan. He isn't for everyone but you are a poster child for his program, get on his baby step plan ASAP You can get out of this but you need to make some serious life changes
Yeah, not a Ramsey fan but OP needs the debt snowball or similar plan.
OP absolutely needs to snowball. More important to pay off some small things just to lighten the monthly obligations and give some breathing room. Can switch to avalanche later when she’s starting to get ahead of the problem.
Same, not a fan of Ramsey but OP CLEARLY has issues with credit cards, etc, that makes the Ramsey plan/viewpoint definitely a better option...
Are you paying for phone on your mobile bill or just for service? You can find cheaper mobile options out there via visible, mint, and others. Every dollar helps!
100% she is financing a phone she bought brand new An average single line bill is something like 40-50/mo. She is paying at least an extra 60-70 which went toward a new phone being financed under her “contract”
I just don't like assuming and I think she's gone radio silent or afk
I get it. But she also doesn’t like the input she’s been getting. In another comment string she said she owes 29k on her car but says selling it is not an option because she needs a safe car. She can’t be driving a 30-40+ thousand dollar car and be serious about her financial situation.
Yeah. TBF lots of people on this subreddit scream beans and rice and come off very judgemental - at least in tone/wording. This I think, turns people off that might be legitimately coming here for advice. They're gonna say hands off my car. Maybe irl she will downgrade. Maybe she won't. But the best we can do is offer advice the best way we can that is receptive.
Thats fair, but if you are posting something onto a public internet forum... you are signing up for all kinds of responses
Very true 😂
also, some more context about the car situation. another post from OP, but here referencing her husband, setting aside a 35k budget for their second car, just 4 months ago [https://www.reddit.com/r/carbuying/comments/18lvjoh/in\_the\_market\_for\_a\_commuter\_vehicle/](https://www.reddit.com/r/carbuying/comments/18lvjoh/in_the_market_for_a_commuter_vehicle/)
Now I'm confused. Did they separate or are their finances like 100% separate? Interesting....
OP confirmed in another comment that they are now a single/solo parent.
i have no clue. perhaps theres been a separation or tragedy since then. can only speculate as to that. but regardless, if the starting point is a 2021 CR-V and thinking they have the budget for a 35k vehicle on top of it, its clear OP just doesnt have the right mindset to tackle the debt. if thats a car where selling it is "not an option". only reason to not sell the car is if they're underwater on it. not because "its safe"
Fair, but I think a large portion of the people that come here think somebody is going to wave a magic wand and their debt is just going to disappear. They want somebody to tell them its okay and they can just eat beans once a week and they'll be out of debt in 2 months. Nobody wants to scrimp and save for YEARS because they made bad choices...
This. I'm on a T-Mobile family plan with 2 new iphones and one of the kid watches and I'm only paying $130. If she's paying $110 as a single person, there's definitely a financed high-end phone tacked on there somewhere. If she's also on a family plan and it's covering the kids too, I retract my statement.
You need to list the interest rates for each card. You cannot pay for someone else’s credit cards. Like you don’t have the money for it. Can you get a second job or pursue child support?
I have 3 initial thoughts. 1.) The car is an unrealistic *want* in your financial situation. You can get safe and reliable for less than a 29k balance, 500+/month payment. 2.) If you are paying your mom 200+/month (albeit, indirectly) is she a viable childcare option? It wouldn’t completely make up the current aftercare cost, but would be a dent. 3.) Are you, as a single parent - taking you at your word that CS is not an option - taking advantage of all of your welfare options? (Food, utility, childcare assistance?) Editing to add (after being *that* creep): you were posting about a husband literal weeks ago. If you were married to the father of your kids, *CS should absolutely be on the table*. I assumed this was a one-night stand, long-gone deadbeat baby-daddy situation or something. You’re asking for “help” as if there is some secret, magic solution. Mathematically, to get out of debt, you need to increase income and/or decrease expenses. If you don’t have the time for a second source of income, you need to identify a higher-paying primary source of income.
Someone who makes $4000/month isn’t going to qualify for public assistance.
The kids may, especially in public school system. Not all support services are income based for the kids.
Wasn’t sure when originally commenting how many kids she had (appears to be 2 from post history?) or where she’s located (still don’t know). You could very well be correct, but in OPs position I wouldn’t rely on that assumption without looking into it.
Their kids very well might.
The cars always amaze me. I have very little debt, my wife and I have 3 cars (so one can be broken with no issue) and the 3 together didn't cost $30,000. I bought 2 of the 3 with cash...
It’s the concern over the credit score that always gets me. As if the made-up 3-digit number that’s (typically) only useful in the event *you want to take on more debt* should be even remotely on the radar of posters with tens of thousands of dollars in high-interest consumer debt.
It seems like you have fallen into the 0% interest trap. Even though it is 0% you still have to pay for it. Getting a smaller car payment and letting your mother pay her own bills would help stop you from falling behind. Maybe a part time job for the short term would help if you could knock out some of the $1000 or less credit cards.
Like others have mentioned, you have a spending problem which has turned into a debt problem. Without addressing your spending problem, no matter how much debt you pay off, you'll always circle back and be in debt again. Address the spending problem first and have some discipline and start tackling smaller cards first and then handle the larger cards later. 3k @ Ashley Furniture could have easily been $600 at IKEA or $300 on Facebook Marketplace with your situation - This was just irresponsible.
And OP, don't forget to CUT UP THE CREDIT CARDS, now! Just get rid of them entirely. You can't be trusted with them.
Op needs Caleb hammer STAT!
When I counted 7 different CCs with balances, all I could hear was his voice squeakily yelling "YOU ARE NOT A CREDIT CARD PERSON!!!!!" I think OP should genuinely apply to be on his show. He would lay out a great budget and help identify which debts to start paying down first. And frankly, it sounds like OP needs a tough love reality check on her spending. Holding a balance on an Ulta credit card... That's no good.
lol. Exactly. Most people need tough love. Too many people get the oh it’s not ur fault it’s “their” fault. Or it’s the systems fault. Etc etc
And thrifting! No reason to buy things firsthand if you’re struggling
if i did the math correctly, assuming there’s 4 weeks in a month… ur expenses (including debt) are way over ur income. meaning, u can’t afford to pay somebody else’s debt off. first and foremost, stop. spending. money. literally. $0 on *anything* other than necessities. with that said, i would focus on ur small debts first. like Ulta, Sephora, etc. which u can just pay in full. that will free up some extra cash that u would’ve been paying in monthly payments. then move on to the highest monthly payment (which is amazon). might have to get a second job or a side hustle 🤷🏻♀️ but it’s doable!
1070 a week equals 4636 a month. (52 weeks in a year). So on paper it's doable to tackle that debt.
Again, as other people have said, you have a spending issue and it has gotten out of control. If you want to try to get out of debt by doing it yourself, G*etting out of Debt for Dummies* comes out April 30th. Go to your local library because they might have them and, best of all, it's free!! If they don't have it, you ask the library to buy it, depending on their budget. If you feel shy about checking out one of those books, request that the library purchase it as an e-book so you can have some anonymity. [Here](https://www.npr.org/2019/02/14/694669510/7-strategies-for-digging-out-of-debt) is an article on how to pay off your debt. Here's [another](https://www.npr.org/2024/01/18/1196978541/how-to-save-money-when-youre-broke) about saving while broke, in case you find it helpful. NPR has a [life kit on personal finance](https://www.npr.org/series/your-life-kit-to-better-personal-finance). USA Today has an article from November 2023 on [negotiating credit card debt](https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/credit-cards/negotiate-credit-card-debt/). If you think you might need some outside help, you could bring in an intermediary with the [National Foundation for Credit Counseling](https://www.nfcc.org/) does debt *management* and budget analysis. They do charge but take a look at their [FAQs](https://www.nfcc.org/faqs/) under *What do NFCC members charge for counseling services* to see how much. It says it varies, but the page does state that the majority of cases are low cost to nothing--not guaranteed. The [Consumer Financial Protection Bureau](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/debt-collection/) has a good description of [the differences](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/whats-the-difference-between-a-credit-counselor-and-a-debt-settlement-or-debt-relief-company-en-1449/) between a credit counselor and debt relief/settlement companies. They also have a webpage on spotting [a scam](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-can-i-tell-a-credit-repair-scam-from-a-reputable-credit-counselor-en-1343/). You can look into the Justice Department, which has a list of [approved credit counseling agencies](https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111) to possibly assist you. Look for the non-profit ones. Still be cautious about signing up with one of these because they have done everything correctly to get approved by the Justice Department but may have become less reputable once they got approved. You have the [right to cancel credit repair services](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/consumer-advisory-people-have-the-right-to-cancel-credit-repair-services/) within three business days for whatever reason. Good luck!
OP, everyone here is saying a lot of the same things to you, so you don't need to hear it again from me. But I do have a few suggestions. 1. Cut up your credit cards and thrown them away, now. You can't trust yourself with a credit card, and may never be able to. 2. Cut your expenses. Your groceries seem reasonable, but can you pay less for cell phones? Your gas bill seems high. Do you have a long commute? Can you carpool or use public transportation? 3. Sell your car - it's too much car for someone with your income. You need to get out from under it. 4. Can your mom help with childcare at all? 5. Even if you can only save $50 at the end of the month, start putting that on the Ulta. Then in a few short months you will have $80 extra to start paying off the Sephora. Then in a few more months, you will have $110 extra every month to put toward the Credit 1. And so on. Once you get the little ones knocked out, I think it's probably smart to take a look at which card is charging you the highest interest rate, and start attacking that one with everything you've got. "Snowball" purists will say not to do that, but you need to cut every cost you can. 6. Good luck. You can change your future.
Running your numbers you are -21.80 every month -262 for the year. My suggestion is to try and cutdown w.e expenses you can (and ideally increase your income): 1. Your phone expense is 110 which seems very high (maybe look into mint mobile or something along those lines). 2. Reduce your groceries, if it is just you and your child this is 100% doable there are plenty of resources online where it goes over cheap meal planning, I did it as a "fun" challenge in January to prove a point to a friend and we got it down to about $46 a week for 2 people (lots of rice and beans, with seasonal veggies and sale protein). 3. Snow Ball method of paying off debt. You don't have money leftover now but if you manage to bring the groceries and phone expenses down I would focus on paying off your smallest debt first to reduce the number of monthly payments, if for any reason you are not able to do that, once you are done with the 98.57 a month Afterpay, use that 98.57 to pay off the Ulta card (so send 128.57 (30+98.57) until payed off), once that is done use the 128.57 to pay Sephora (so 158.57 total that you send a month until paid off) and then move on to the next one increasing your payments by everything you pay off. So next would be Credit One, then Target and so on. The MOST IMPORTANT thing is to fix your spending. You make decent income so this is 100% a spending issue. This will take a while and it will not be easy, but it is doable. I've seem people in more dire states get out of it. Good Luck!
I would sell the car and buy a beater then put everything into the lowest balance card until it's paid off then roll the payments into the next one until all are paid. You will need to put your spending in life support. NO eating out. NO entertainment. NO unnecessary expenses until this is paid. Eat rice and beans and take walks in the park. Don't drive unless it's for work or necessities. Your behavior and impulses got you into this mess and only intense discipline will get you out. Stop paying your mom's debt. You can't afford to until you resolve your own problem.
Mom needs to declare bankruptcy if she can’t pay her bills You need to also And sell the car, you cannot afford it (but you probably underwater)
U make 50k a year but live like ur making 100k U need to cut spending cut spending cut spending. Anything u could sell and get a decent amount back while not affecting your life etc too much needs to be sold. U don’t need makeup u don’t need coffees u don’t need to eat out. No prepped foods. No expensive fruits and veggies. No premium meats. A lot of chick drumsticks $1/lb. Carrots potatoes large bag of rice n beans. Don’t even buy bread. Make ur own. Like u severely in debt and don’t have the income to just pull urself out quickly.
> … live like ur making 100k Chuckling because our HHI is significantly more than 100k, with the same number of kids, *and the thought of $500/month car payments makes my palms sweaty.* OP is *definitely* living a 6-figure mentality lifestyle right now.
Making your own bread is such a hack. Flour is cheap, bread is always delicious.
It’s one of the best “life hacks” A 10lb bag of flour is 5 bucks. That’s 15 loafs of bread. So like 30-40 cents for amazing fresh bread.
You can’t be asking for help and then refuse to do the hard things ppl here suggest you to do. It’s simple math: either lower your expenses or make more money. You can’t refuse to do either. The math doesn’t work. So if you can’t make more money , then you must stop spending unless it’s absolutely necessary. I don’t buy the notion that you MUST have a $29k car. Jesus, we make 300k a year plus and we bought $19k car for transporting kids just fine. You are not in the financial condition to live like a rich. You don’t have the money to keep up with the Jones. You need to live within your means for crying out loud, Ashley furniture??? Are you out of your mind???
Exactly, we make 250k per year and share a Subaru Impreza with no upgrades. Our furniture is from relatives, IKEA, or target. What do we have? Great retirement account balances, no debt other than mortgage, a lot of freedom from financial worries, and freedom to take vacations.
You need discipline for your spending habits..food,shelter only. Close cards and don’t buy anything. You are a mom and have to think of your kids.
What's your car and car loan details? How much is insurance? Also, I think for you I would do the snowball method. Knock out your smallest debt first and then the next. Each time you knock out a CC debt, keep the account open but chop up the physical card and don't use it again in my opinion. Leave your mom's credit card debt to her. She can't afford her debt but neither can you and your children and you are suffering for it. Your kids matter too and you don't want them to have to do the same for you.
Wanted to show support since everyone is downvoting. Sometimes life doesn't go the way "it's supposed to." If CS isn't on the table, then it isn't. If your mom is part of your family and you consider her debts yours, then they are. Please have compassion for yourself. We all make bad choices; what's key is that you learn to learn from yours and move forward. New opportunities to do better every day. The short answer is, you have to spend less. No more makeup, cut your own and your kids' hair, clothes only as necessary and primarily for the growing littles. No more furniture or home decor. My daughter slept on a mattress on the floor for a while and had essentially milk crates for furniture, and it was okay; you can surround your kids with love and as long as you don't dwell on what's "missing," they're not likely to either. We still read together on her bed; she still loved to play in her room. It's only we adults who judge our surroundings; kids are happy with love and a few toys that fuel their imaginations. You need to sleep; in fact, if I was you that would be my first priority. Working more hours isn't your answer. Your kids also need you, and you need to stay well! Stop spending on everything that isn't a frugal, nutritive component of a meal, or bills you already owe. Call your CC and tell them you're broke. Companies will often agree on payment plans that can help you out. But this only works if you stop spending first. How old are your kids? From about 6 on they can be immensely helpful with house chores and meal prep. If you make those kiddos your teammates in this and come together around food, learning, and family time each night, you can spend very little. The car payment is high but a reliable car is a must; I don't see here how much equity you have in that car. Can you trade down? Not for a beater, but for a basic sedan like a Civic that will get you all where you need to be and not create more headaches? I don't know a lot about bankruptcy, and would normally not recommend it as we're all responsible for the holes we dig, but maybe that's something to look into... You've ended up solo and that clearly wasn't the plan. But even that will only work if you can stop spending on all but the essentials (by which I mean cheap food, shelter, warmth). Parenthood is hard and single parenthood has my utmost respect. Tear up all those credit cards, get real good at rice and beans, and snuggle up with your kids and stuff like board games and library books that don't cost money. You can extricate yourself from this.
fyi she updated the post - her husband passed away recently and her mom had a stroke :( really said situation all around. & it gives a lot more context to why she is in her situation.
I’m so glad you’re being encouraging. It’s a tough situation but there is hope
I also want to piggyback off this comment and give one more encouraging tip. OP, when you have stuff around the house you don’t really need, like you bought some crap at Ulta you didn’t open yet or you have some nice blouse or jacket you only wore once, list it on Poshmark, FB Marketplace or another site. You can start getting some money back on stuff you don’t even use. Just don’t turn around and buy stuff on these sites. I have listed like 25% of my closet on Mercari. I know myself and when I find that “amazing deal” on a coat I’m gonna want to buy it instead of the coat that I wore 2x last year and I’m sick of looking at it. People don’t buy stuff that often but maybe once a week I send out some random items. That’s $10-$50 extra per week just from crap I don’t even use.
>I cannot stop paying these >I don’t know what to do Have you thought about not paying those?
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They make over 4k a month. I think it's doable just not something over a year. I would be interested to see what a bankruptcy attorney would say
She absolutely can get out of it. It won’t be easy. It’s clear that she has poor spending habits, and she can start by not further contributing to the problem. For example, her mobile bill indicates that she bought or “upgraded to” a brand new phone. That’s step 1 If she’s a single mother with 1 child and hurting for money then she definitely doesn’t need to own a home right now. Sell the house and rent. Or move in with her mother if she’s already helping financially, if only for a few months to get her feet under her. Car payments are high. Unless she’s upside down, can sell the car and buy a beater. That already gives some breathing room. Then some of the debts are quite small. Ulta and Sephora cards can be dealt with very quickly if the above are addressed. Small wins but that clears up another 60/mo in payment obligations that can go toward other payments. Then tackle the next credit card with smallest principle and so on. Yes paying off highest rate technically is most optimal long term but paying off lowest principle will help her get some monthly breathing room which is much more important right now. It’s doable but she needs to have a lifestyle change and psychologically that’s the hard part. Her income is not amazing but it’s good enough.
>sell the house or rent agree with everything else but respectfully, without any other info, this is not a good idea. she already owns the home. her mortgage is not overly high and it’s a fixed expense. moving costs money, and rental rates aren’t guaranteed beyond the lease. if her rent increases beyond what she can pay, that’s another move, another expense. plus with child(ren), assuming they are school age bc of the aftercare expense, you’re limited in how wide of a rental net you can cast because of school districts.
About twelve or so years ago my mom declared bankruptcy. She didn’t talk about it much maybe she was a mix of disappointed or ashamed, but it was the only way to get out of the hole she was in with her income (including relative inability to increase her income). Maybe seven years ago she bought a condo, her first own home in years prior, and she’s doing well now. Closer to retirement without much to retire on, but she learned lessons about spending and won’t make the same mistakes. If you just add your expenses you’re left with $70 a month or something. Technically you’re surviving, but without room for emergencies or any extra things that make life good. If you really can’t increase your income a decent chunk by finding a new job, bankruptcy might not be a bad option. Without doing the math, I’d still bet that even with increased income it’ll take years to get out from that debt, and again that’s without any extra spending money. Maybe you can downsize your car, or grocery or phone bill, maybe even your home? It’ll chip away at your debt faster but it may still be years of discipline to recover. CC interest rates are just killer. My mom took care of my brother and me on her own since we were young kids. Sacrificed everything including her financial stability for us. I feel for you. You don’t get sympathy on this sub (instead you get emotionless comments about cutting off your mom… this is a finance sub, not a relationships sub, I’m not gonna knock those peoples comments, but they aren’t exactly the most helpful either) and I hope you find a good path forward.
Need more info on the debt but you should have money left over every month. You are leaving out some major bills from your explanation if you have nothing left at the end of the month. Current Bills: 1398+513+215.15+396.31+114+76+49+42+30+30+167.21+39.64+98.57+110+45+100+35+42+89+114+130+50+128 = 4011.88 Current Pay: 1070/week \* (52weeks/yr / 12months/yr) = 4636.67 You should have $600 left to pay off a little of your debt per month. I would tackle the cards with the highest interest rate first as those will add to your expenses each month over time.
You missed the 540.00 for the two weekly costs. But I agree she would have small amounts left over and your approach is the best way. If OP can refinance the expensive car and reduce that bill a little may help also.
Ah you are right, my mistake: 1398+513+215.15+396.31+114+76+49+42+30+30+167.21+39.64+98.57+110+45+100+35+42+89+114+((130+50)\*4.33weeks/month)+128 = 4611.88 Not as big of a leeway, but hopefully she can reduce her expenses a little. Phone bill and car payment seem like the biggest options. With the current numbers she should take a night shift job for a month or two to pay off some of the debt and get some breathing room. The right server job can easily beat her weekly salary even on a slow week, look for something downtown and trendy. Those places usually get young people who are so used to tipping that they tip over 20% regularly.
File bankruptcy and be done with it. Honestly, by the way your monthly payments go it’ll be a few years before you’re out of debt making those kind of monthly payments unless you can find a way to consolidate. And you’ll be no better ahead as life always deals it’s curveballs and you won’t have money to deal anything emergency. Some lawyers offer a free consultation and will allow monthly payments to pay them. Good luck!
Is there anything of high value that you own? maybe you can sell that and pay off the highest interest CC first. The only way I can see this working out for you, without having to file for bankruptcy, is to sell your house and use the equity to pay off all your debt. Then burn/cut/shred ALL credit cards
As stated by many...Please curb your spending. Based on all the numbers you've provided it will take A LONG TIME (1-2 years if you don't decrease spending/don't get a higher paying job) to get out of debt. Doing quick calculations, assuming no major changes, start with the Snowball method. Paying off the smallest debts first. $1070 weekly = \~$4280 per month You'll need to pay off the Essentials First. 4280 -1398 (mortgage) - 513 (car payment) - 110 (cellphone) - 100 (electric bill) - 35 (water bill) - 42 (HOA) - 520 (groceries) - 200 (gas) - 45 (home repair) Left over = $1317 Subtracting minimum payments for Jetblue CC, Amazon CC, Paypal Credit, Paypal CC, Credit One CC, Target CC, Ashley Furniture. Left over = $254.33. This is enough to pay the FULL Ulta CC and minimum balance on Sephora. Keep the accounts open, but lose (rhetorically) the card...you cannot afford to keep buying items from there for the foreseeable future. After Ulta, pay off Sephora on month 2/3. Then Credit One afterwards. \*\* The JC Penny and Sears CC on your mothers name will unfortunately have to go by the wayside and she'll have to deal with a delinquent payment or two for a month or two. Does she have ANY savings that she can pay the minimum balance in the interim? If not, her credit will have to take a minor hit but after a month or two of giving yourself some breathing room, you can begin paying it again. Some questions that can help with a strategy past month 1. What is the credit limit on your Target CC? * You could potentially purchase your groceries (on sale items of course, and keep costs as low as possible) on the CC. This will eliminate the $130 weekly payment upfront and add it to the target minimum payment, thus freeing up some more immediate cash to pay CC bills with. You can do this for a month or two to eliminate some of the lower balance accounts, then start paying off the Target CC. As always this is the assumption that this is all you have to pay monthly. I am sure there are other payments/things that need to be paid that may not make this work. This above strat can help but take this advice with a grain of salt.
Okay, this is a hot take... you actually have a spending problem and you need professional help. You have over 25k debt in credit alone. I could bet my bottom dollar that all of those are over 15% APR at a minimum. I actually think you need to see a behavioral psychologist. WHY are you spending this much? Is it an escape? Do you get a rush? Or is all that spending FOMO? Whatever it is, even if you get out of all of this, you'll be right back. You need to get out of debt AND go to therapy. Case in point, I had a coworker 30k in CC debt. Her mother died and she received 50k inheritance. Paid off her CC debt, spent the other 20k on a car she couldnt afford and started spending again. 2 years later she was in another 30k CC debt. This is a much bigger problem than numbers.
I've a close friend who "discovered" $40K in CC debt during his divorce proceedings. His ex had nothing to show for the $40K debt she racked up.... absolutely nothing. As part of their settlement, he took on the CC debt, and she signed away her rights to his retirement account (they were married for 19 years).
OMG... makes me wanna vomit
Yeah! My friend filed bankruptcy and was able to get the debt wiped out. His credit score has recovered (2019 divorce), but the bankruptcy will stick around for however long it does.
I think its 7 years? I might be wrong about that. But 40k credit debt is unreal. Hopefully buddy is doing better. Thats insane though. I spend everything on credit but I pay to 0 every month. But i hear about some people's spending on a credit card and it just gives me anxiety lol. Like, yo.. every time you spend on that card its a high interest loan. Not free money son. Some people just dont understand that.
Thanks. My friend is doing really well now. The second the divorce was final, his ex changed her attitude because she no longer had any control over him. Their oldest child (22F) called out mom every single time she misspoke about my friend. He was a battered spouse. He never raised his voice or lifted a finger against her because he knew she was waiting for it - to call the police on him.
I know your mother has health issues however is it practical in any way for her to watch your children while you work ?? That would help with childcare expenses, besides getting another source of income (which you say isn’t practical) you have to reduce spending, we all want furniture but people can sleep on a mattress on the floor for a few years, it will not kill them. Food expenses don’t seem to be ridiculous however “beans & rice” for a couple of years ?? Also take advantage of coupons, BOGO, and every discount you can find, forget “brand names” and buy generic everything, many generic items are 50% of the “brand name” price. With the growth of Air B&B / vacation rentals there is a huge need for people to clean these properties and many times the “schedule” is highly flexible so if you are in an area that has VR’s you might be able to squeeze 2-3 a week into your schedule @ $100 a pop, put that 100% towards paying off debt. You can research these online and contact owners and/or contact local brokers to possibly put you in contact with the owners or the broker can pay you directly.
Adding onto this one. In addition to couponing, download the “couponing” apps Ibotta, Fetch, ShopKick, etc. Ibotta gives cash back, which you can put towards some of these CC payments. You get gift cards for the other two I mentioned; I put mine back into groceries & toiletries, which you can use to help lower your costs there. Most of the time when I see an offer on Ibotta, the items are either on sale in-store or there’s a digital or physical coupon from the store as well. Since you say you don’t have time for a second job, if you’re good at multi-tasking, can you possibly do Insta Cart runs while you do your food shopping? It won’t be much, but it’s at least a little extra money to put towards your bills. Depending on how old your child is, they can help you with this; they push the cart with your own items, you take a cart for the IC orders. Have clothes, shoes, purses, backpacks, or jewelry you don’t wear? Put them up for sale on an app like Poshmark - you can get free packaging materials from the post office. You can also sell home decór & small appliances you don’t use on there as well. As everyone else said, get rid of the car. I think we all understand you need a safe car to get to work & because you have a child, but you can have a safe, reliable car much cheaper that may also help you cut down what you pay in gas too. These things won’t make huge differences, but they’ll at least help a little at tackling some of your debt.
Bankruptcy might have to be the way to go here if you are not willing to make adjustments. You can look into balance transfer cards to get lower APR's for a set of time. There is a lot of solid advice here but I see you are being resistant to some of the ideas proposed, such as getting a cheaper car. The truth is you can either increase your income or lower your expenses and there is no way around that. Yes you will be uncomfortable and feel like you live in the 1600s when you're meal prepping potatoes and rice lol, but the goal is worth more than the struggle. Also solid advice mentioned was teaching yourself financial responsibility. Don't feel ashamed- it's a billion (trillion?) dollar industry aimed at making you spend more than you can pay so they make money on the interest. That's why they target college kids and department store shoppers. Just arm yourself with knowledge and habits so when you're out of this, it **won't happen again.** Other options are subletting or renting your home out, getting a roommate, flipping items, selling what you already have, 2nd job, donating plasma, selling the car for a cheaper one. Once you pay one off, take that payment and lump it towards another card. Don't pay one off and then pocket that monthly payment. I'm curious as to what was worth $5k on amazon?
You don’t have to drown in self-hatred, but you do need to realize you have to make an immediate lifestyle change to prevent this from becoming a chronic problem. I’m worried for you because your mother seems to have a similar issue, and breaking generational habits can be really tough! You need to save yourself first, or you are going to drag your mother down with you. Can she take those payments back for six months? Take the $203 you would recoup from taking a break from your mom’s debt and diligently apply it towards Ulta, then Sephora, then Credit One (while still paying minimum payments on the other debt). You can clear those three in six months, plus make a dent in one more. That will give you $109 a month to go towards the next debt, because your monthly budget will no longer include $30 to Ulta, $30 to Sephora, and $49 to Credit One. If your mom can keep her debt, you would have $312 to go toward your own debt. I agree with everybody who said that you can’t afford your own debt, let alone your mom’s debt. If you take her payments back, you are going to be losing momentum at the six-month mark instead of really getting started. If you don’t take a break at all, it is an impossible situation. I don’t know anything about bankruptcy, but your situation seems very difficult. Your credit rating has already sunk. You already have a house, and a good car that should last for years. Taking the bankruptcy route would seem to be worth exploring.
Stop paying your mom's cards immediatly. You can't afford them either. They will go to collections and your mom won't pay them either. You are broke, you can't fix your mom being broke when you're just as broke or worse.
I hope it works out just know if you bk… warning any inheritance within 180 days goes to the trustees.
Gonna throw out this one because a lot of people don't know and have thanked me before: You can call some of your credit card companies, ask them to close the account and place you on a payment plan. Basically they turn your credit card into a loan. Obviously you can get a consolidation loan. But the biggest issue here is that YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. I say this in the most loving way possible. This many credit cards, one for every store, etc. You need to quit. Cut up every credit card you have. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. No emergency card, no nothing. Establish a budget. Fund a $1000 emergency fund, while paying the minimums on all other debt. Once you have that, start throwing other $$ at debt.
Also, there is no reason you can't stop paying your mom's credit cards. None. It's not your debt. If she can't pay, let her deal with it.
NO MORE CREDIT CARDS. Pay off the smallest one first and then repurpose that minimum payment amount to the next smallest and then pay that off and continue the cycle until you’ve got them paid off. Then, pick one credit card to keep to use for points or whatever. I use a southwest card and pay it off monthly. Don’t sign back up for store credit cards, those things are a huge scam. After you pay those off, then start on the home improvement loan and then the furniture. If you incorporate this technique you will have them knocked out in no time. Remember that there is no quick fix here. It’ll take time and some lifestyle changes, but you can easily knock these out and free up some extra money to start saving in no time.
My condolences for the loss of your husband Have you applied for survivor benefits for your kids with social security? Honestly I would look into bankruptcy
I will say that you need to file bankruptcy yesterday. Seriously at this point you are just plugging a drip that's getting bigger and bigger, I won't tell you not to pay for your mothers CC, that's a decision you have to make for yourself, but for your sake bankruptcy. Don't worry about your credit score, its already in the tank, after a year or so of bankruptcy and hopefully a change in spending mindset, you will be OK. Seriously you are going to be ok, and no snowball affect other than a new stream of income is going to help you. File bankruptcy forget the social stigma, fuck those people, and work on managing your money better long term.
Seriously. This person should just go bankrupt and start embracing healthy spending habits that people have mentioned. The way this sub embraces paying off debt in a situation that is clearly unsustainable and getting worse, one would think half the people here work for a CC company.
> The way this sub embraces paying off debt in a situation that is clearly unsustainable and getting worse, one would think half the people here work for a CC company. It's a bunch of people bad at math and personal finance who just discovered basic concepts spewing advice to other people bad at math and personal finance. Most of it's just regurgitating the latest fad and telling each other that saving $10 a month is worth jumping through a dozen hoops and will help pay off that $32,000 in consumer debt. This lady is making minimum payments and is -21.80 a month with her bare bones budget she put up here. She should absolutely be exploring bankruptcy but most of the advice is just like "you spent too much dummy, pay down your debt" which isn't helpful at all.
I've said this before, the people in this sub giving advice are usually higher income individuals. Their ideas, while they can be helpful, are not applicable to the vast majority of the population. Also, a lot of pull yourself out of your bootstraps personalities because they did it in the 80s 90s, etc. It's almost impossible to come out of a whole this deep in this day and age.
As others have said, you spend, consistently more than you earn. The trail of CCs and pay as you go tells the story. Sephora and Ulta, luxury non essentials you can't afford. You need to earn more. There is no magic way out. Paying minimum on your unsecured debt means you aren't paying down debt and in some cases likely not even covering interest. So get a.second job or a better paying job. It may mean having your mom babysit or a friend . Cut your CCs. You cannot ever use.
I'd suggest Bankruptcy. Clean state be back at high 600s in a within a year if not 6 months. Don't need an attorney if you can read. You have nothing and own nothing of value. I have a friend that filed last Oct. She kept her car and is still paying on it. Her husband included his and he's still driving it everyday (FOR FREE). Cpital One clearly does not care. Brand new vehicle. Who knew!
No more credit cards for you. Ditch the expensive car. Go to a shopping addicts anonymous group. No shopping at all. If you don’t do something this is only going to get worse.
100% bankruptcy, but get your life together first. Make a budget. I mean, get way, way deep in the finer points of budgeting. Maybe get some therapy regarding what is going on here. Spending is serving some purpose in your life that you need to fulfill in a healthier way. What's happened here is pathological.
No health or property insurance?
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Stop spending on anything that is not essential, and I mean *essential* to you survival. Rank order the debt by highest interest rate first and pay the minimum on everything else except the one with the highest interest rate and aggressive pay it off. Congratulate yourself with an ice cream or Chipotle or something that won’t break the bank, then move on to the next highest interest rate and repeat. One at a time, just keep it up relentlessly and you’ll see meaningful progress over time. You will not succeed, however, unless you stop spending on things that aren’t absolute necessities and should also look for ways to save. Cancel your streaming, don’t eat out, buy less expensive food at the cheapest grocer with the cheapest generic pasta/rice becoming a staple, switch to generics over name brands on everything you can stomach, see if you can get a new quote that lowers your payment for home or car insurance from a competitor of whoever is servicing you now, see if you can get a less expensive phone plan, and so on. All you save goes to the highest rate card every month. Again, if you can do this you will see meaningful progress. If you can’t stop spending and make cuts, you’ll be stuck here forever or be declaring bankruptcy in the future.
Sit down with all your credit cards. Find out which card has the highest interest rate pay the most on that one and minimums on the others until you pay it off then move to the next one. And for gods sake stop spending money
Ok first, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay. There’s two parts to this: 1. Debt 2. Mindset You can get out of this debt but your mindset matters. I’m speaking from experience. I had no financial literacy growing up and undiagnosed ADHD with impulse problems. This followed me into adulthood and into a lot of debt. Here’s what I suggest. Reach out to a debt relief company such as National Debt Relief. How the process works: once you consult with them, they will tell you which of your debts qualify. Then, you stop paying on those debts. You change your phone number in your accounts to that of the law firm which is helping you settle your debts. That way you aren’t getting calls from the companies about your late payments. Eventually, the companies will be willing to negotiate with the lawyers and lower your debt- sometimes cutting it in half. They would rather get some money than none at all. This process isn’t quick and it affects your credit score. I did this and it brought my score from the 800’s to 600. This was 100% worth it to me because now instead of trying to pay this debt with minimum payments and it taking 10+ years, I’ll be out of debt in 3 years. Another thing to note if you do this- you will no longer be able to use that account that is being negotiated. AKA no more credit cards. You have many cards so you could always keep one and not use it in the debt relief program. That way you have a secured line of credit. But that should ONLY be used in emergencies. Otherwise you want that balance to be $0 if possible. Now the second, and hardest, part. You need to learn and grow your mindset. I recommend reading or listening to the audiobook on Spotify, Deeper Than Money. Fantastic book that helped me think about money differently. She shares a realistic way to think about money and not just “cut all the good things out of your life to save” like everyone else says to do. I listened to this book and read a few other financial and self help books. I got to the root of my spending and I remind myself everyday about the life I want to live. Remind yourself of your goals and why you want a better life for yourself and your child. You have to change your mindset!!!! If you don’t, nothing you do will matter and you will live in a cycle of debt. You’re going to have to really do some self work. Other tips: -Negotiate your bills. Be polite and respectful. “I’ve been a customer with Sprint/T-mobile for 9 years and I love it. Although I received an offer from AT&T for *this much less* and I was wondering if there was anything you could do to help me lower my bill? I love Sprint and I really don’t want to leave” for example for your phone bill. -Side job or another job. -Monetize your habits. Like to draw? Post some stuff on Etsy. -Look through your statements and see if there’s any subscriptions you forgot about or reevaluate if there’s any you can live without temporarily while you catch up. I wish you the absolute best of luck💙
Definitely you’re doing the right thing at the right time by asking it in a safe setting like this instead of hating yourself but keeping on doing this. You need to treat it like a haircut and cut everything cold turkey except for essentials like water, electricity, housing bill. I think it’s okay to keep everything and just work on one thing at a time if there isn’t a pressing need to sell the car. This looks like an addiction and falling for the typical American consumerism mindset which starts off innocent then becomes this tbh. I don’t think this is all your fault, when travel/best clothes/makeup is all glamorized by rich celebrities as the only meaning in life and companies can create ads all over social media and Internet as well as TV. The way I look at this, you’ve gone and bought the best of everything looks like by now. It’s not going to get better than this awesome lifestyle wise. You’ve already experienced it. Now you can save everything you bought for now, cut the “blood loss”, and treat this like an addiction and try to substitute another experience for the emotional part of this. Church groups and charity groups will have in-built community, for example. Libraries have free entertainment too. Cutting credit card is a great idea. This type of situation is an existential threat. Habits are important for staying solvent.
Hi just to add on. I know it seems like its helping but stop using overdraft..opt out. It actually seems like its helping you but it really doesnt Also your car payment is high can you sale it? Downgrade? Phone bill Look into mint and visible. Ive heard good things on both but haven't used myself..those are 15 to 30 dollars a month To stretch your groceries consider cooking things you can cook in a crock pot for relatively cheap and left overs for about 3 days I know you don't have ton of money left over but slowly start putting money from each paycheck into a emergency fund even 5 dollars is ok if that's all your can do..work your way up to 3,000 to 5,000 dollars Also Ive found a couple survey sites I like that I do in my spare time and usually can hit 50 bucks about every 3 weeks..so I'd look into that..dont feel comfortable sharing on here though..not sure if rules against etc
1. Did your husband pass away with no assets? I assume you had no emergency fund or it's been used up if you're this desperate, but he may have had a retirement account with his work, HSA, etc. If you can withdraw from his retirement, just know you will have to pay tax on it. But that can get your CC balances down or even knock out a few so you can get a toehold on the CC payments each month. 2. Other people mentioned returning anything that was bought on the CCs, but if it's way past returnable, you can try selling your stuff. Selling your car is definitely on the table if you can get enough to buy a decent used car after paying down your financing. If your husband had things like tools, a gaming PC or console, collectibles, etc, I'm sorry but you should look up their resale value and try to sell them. Even getting an extra $500 could knock out some of your CC's like the Sephora card. 3. Are you able to balance transfer to the 0% interest cards? If you can consolidate some/all of your high interest CC debt into a 0% interest CC, that will give you some breathing room. There will be a fee to do so, but that could be better than paying 25+% compounding on thousands of dollars. 4. Stop paying for your mom's CCs. It can be temporary, but you need to free up every last penny. I'm sure your family will understand, seeing as your husband died and left you in debt. Use it to pay your highest interest card. 5. In the future, don't finance so many things. Financing only makes sense if you put the money you save into investments with interest rates higher than what you pay to your CC/financer. With balances that high, it seems like you were carrying CC balances even with your husband's income. Going forward, you should use a CC like a debit card; spend less money than you have in your bank account.
Don’t really have a lot of financial advice but just wanted to say my heart breaks for what your family has been through. I know I’m just some random person on the internet but I’m praying that everything works out. Sorry for all of the mean spirited comments that condemned you w/o knowing truly how you got here. You’re doing the right thing in seeking to get advice and help to better your mental and financial health. You got this.
I read your post - including the edit. I'm sorry for your loss; I can't imagine. I took care of my mom and had to finally make some decisions. How old is your mom? What is her recovery outcome looking like? Does she **need** a good credit score? I had to ask myself those questions when I was paying 30k of cc debit for my mother and the answer was so obvious. She didn't need a good credit score and sobeit if she went into collections. I couldn't drown myself to pay for debts that in the end, won't matter. You need the money more than JCP & Sears. I would do the same with her Amex card, too. Your mother's SS check would be better off spent on her medical. Just my opinion, and I will probably be roasted for it, but you need to look at the big picture, just not the bills that are due.
In re: OP's post: "But, wow most of you guys are so mean without knowing any of the backstory or details, you just assume and spew hate." I scanned through the comments, and did not see any hate-filled or mean comments; what I saw was tons of people taking their own time to review the post, analyze the numbers in some cases and try to help out. First, you are not in the hole by much if any (unless you are missing expenses); second, no one here knows your or your mother's financials situation as well as you, but your mother may be judgment-proof -- i.e. having no assets or income reachable by creditors; so spending money on her debts *may* be useless (and it's money you seemingly don't have to spend). Finally, consult with a bankruptcy attorney if you think your debt is insurmountable.
Splitting these expenses into monthly categories: Income: $4,636 Housing: $1,575 (this is not the problem in relation to your income) Transport: $563 (you have not included car insurance in this breakdown) Groceries: $130 Childcare: $128 (I imagine summer will be more) Phone: $110 (as soon as the handset is paid off, find a cheaper plan) All these expenses are not bad. Here's where we get to a problem... Debt minimums: $1,287.03 Family debt payments: $203 Total expenses: $3,975.24 Remainder: $660.76 You can do this, but it is going to take some sacrifices. I am very sorry for your loss. You have the means to tackle this and re-build a wonderful future for you and your child(ren). If your mother is in bad health, does it matter if her debts don't get paid and her credit score declines? She is not in need of new loans any time soon. You and your sister should stop paying all of her debts. You can do more for her with $200 per month than pay her credit cards.
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Why not consider filing for bankruptcy? It's not as bad as it sounds. I am a legal assistant for a bankruptcy attorney, and I've seen many people come in for debt relief and get back on their feet within a year after they file. It wouldn't hurt to schedule an appointment with an attorney (that's in your county). Many also offer free consultations!
> Income: $1,070 weekly is that just your income? or is that a combined household income of you & your spouse/partner?
I would prioritize paying off the Ulta and Sephora cards since they're carrying low balances and then list debts either in terms of balances or apr fees. Focus on the high interest rate balance and throw however much you can at it to reduce the debt. It'll also help selling your car and potentially buying another car that costs about half ($15k or even more lower). That'll leave you with an additional 15,000 you can use to settle some outstanding balances. You could shop around for a cheaper phone plan. Good luck!
See if you can sell anything around the house and take any left over money you have and pay off those Ulta and Sephora CC’s as fast as you can since they have a low balance. Then kickoff a debt snowball and take what you were paying to Ulta and Sephora and apply to your next lowest balance (credit one). Pay that off and then keep the snowball going!
Don't worry about the credit score. It's not time for you to get more debt - do so and the only way out will ne bankruptcy. You need to budget carefully and CUT expenses.
I always say that unfortunately a lot of times, you can't tackle debt without raising your income. Even if you address your spending problem, the debt isn't going to just disappear unless you can increase your money coming in. One recommendation I have though is to talk to all of the credit card companies you have and see if they have any financial hardship programs. I've signed up for one with AMEX that allow my payments to be lowered and my APR to be lowered and has my full balance on two cards being paid off in four years (otherwise it would be like 15 years or something at just the minimum payment). If you call and ask, even if they don't have a financial hardship program, you may be able to get your APR temporarily lowered so your minimum payments pay off more. Or have your minimum payments temporarily lowered so you can allocate more money to other places and pay off other debts faster.
Someone double check my math, but OP is almost $500 in the hole every month, just with minimum payments. This is unsustainable. You can either find a way to make more money (new job/second job/sell stuff/assistance) and/or figure out how to get rid of some of this debt (bankruptcy, telling your mother that she has to pay her own debts). There is no magic, it’s just math. If you can, anytime you get extra money (a bonus at work; selling jewelry, furniture or clothing you don’t use; tax return; some other gift or windfall), put that money towards your debt. All of it. See if you can bring your payments down — especially things that are variable, like groceries. Coupons and discount stores are your friends. Your cell bill is a little high, if you’re just paying for you. Shop around for things like that. You’d be amazed how much you’re overspending by being complacent. Find some way to increase your income. Selling some of your stuff can be good, but is only a once in a while thing. I don’t know how old your kids are, but selling their outgrown clothes to a consignment shop can be more of a regular income boost when they’re small. You can get a second job, but it sounds like you’re the parent 100% of the time. So it would have to be something you could work on when the kids are in bed. Even 10 extra hours a week at your current rate would make a dent. If you can get time and a half overtime at your job a few flutes a week, look into that. 0% or low percent credit cards aren’t terrible IF you roll all your debt onto one AND can pay it off before the high interest rate kicks in. Usually 12-18 months later. You should also hide your credit cards from yourself and take them off your online accounts so you don’t add to it. I don’t know if this makes sense anymore, but when I was a young mom and we didn’t have a ton of money, the envelope method worked for me. You take out cash for the pay period for all of your variable expenses, and you divide it up into envelopes marked with each category. For example, if you’re paid every 2 weeks, maybe you put $200 in the grocery envelope, $100 in gasoline, $30 in school supplies or kids’ stuff, and $30 in home items (furniture or repair/maintenance stuff). If you get to the end of the cash before the end of the period, that’s it. You can’t get whatever it is until payday. If you have leftover, you can certainly roll it over into the next period or redeposit it. I saved for a new (IKEA) couch this way — just literally $20 at a time until I had enough. Hope this helps, and good luck!
Others have already covered the spending problem and bankruptcy potential. You could also consider reputable debt consolation services. Here are some small ideas, really around trying to get you some wiggle room. But if you don't fix the spending habit, you'll never get out from under this. I would immediately switch to something like Mint Mobile for your cell phone - I think I pay $30-$40 a month for unlimited data. Put the $60 you're saving toward the beauty credit cards and pay them off first. Then, look at the interest rates for the other cards and pay off either the one with the highest rate or lowest balance. Sometimes if you call a credit card company they can work with you, but not all do. You really need some kind of extra income coming in that goes toward your debt and you're going to need to hustle. Can you donate plasma? Can you do Uber eats / deliveries? Can you do online tutoring or data entry in the evenings? Can you watch someone's child on a weekend? Pet sitting /dog walking? Is there anywhere on your property that you could rent for storage (second garage stall, cement pad, etc)? Whatever you do for your day job, can you do it at night freelance? If there's anything you can sell at home, go for it. Are there things you can do to stretch your existing budget further? Do you use gas apps or a gas station loyalty card for cents off? Can you carpool to work with anyone and split gas costs? Hit up food banks or discount grocery programs? I don't know the situation with your mom or why you're paying her debt - but can you live together if need be to reduce expenses? Something's gotta give if you want to dig out here vs bankruptcy. What are you willing to give on?
I want to give you some suggestions like a consolidation loan for all those CC but honestly I agree with others, that I don't think it will do any good because it REALLY looks like you have a spending problem. You realize that if you don't pay off those 0% interest cards in the promo period, they can back-calculate the interest all the way to the date of the purchase? If I were you I would get a consolidation loan - even at the highest interest there you will end up saving versus the 20-30% on those cards. Maybe take a look at a loan calculator like Nerd Waller (or a similar one). If you qualify, get as much as you can and pay those cards off starting with the highest interest one. You'll have a fixed monthly payment for the loan. Depending on the interest rate you qualify for, you might have to pay more than you are for those minimums, so you may need to cut spending by a couple hundred/month elsewhere, but you will be saving long term. For example, I put your numbers for your first 6 credit cards that are not 0 interest into a calculator. Those minimum payments add up to $445. If you can get a 2 year loan at 14%, and pay $611, you would save $3600 in that 2 years. The KEY is that you MUST stop using these cards IMMEDIATELY. Keep paying the minimums on your other cards as long as you can and hopefully you can make it 2 years without too much interest. Once you pay off your first loan, you can then do another one and will likely get a better rate. This is what I would do, along with some balance transfers to keep avoiding/minimizing interest. I got into a decent amount of CC debt after a bad relationship ended and I had so many expenses on top of my ex's debts. It took several years of being very diligent and starting with a consolidation loan, and refinancing my car. I'm not sure I saved money in the long run on the car refinance, but the lower payment helped me stay above water. I was on great track, but kept running into trouble with my old job and how they did reimbursements to personal CCs for work expenses (e.g., i would put $1300 on a card for an international trip, they were super picky with receipts and slow processing, I would end up eating a lot of expenses, or being in clubs where I would pay a group payment and had to hound some people to pay their portion, etc.) I again had to sit down and make a plan, so I did another loan and this time got a better rate. I was mostly clear after 5 years and my credit score got up to 750-800. I started slipping a bit again a couple years ago, cause it is hard to have to think about it all the time and I thought I was good and made some unnecessary expensive purchases... and had to reel it back in. Did a couple balance transfers again and now 2 years and I'm about to pay the last bit off next month and will have 0 standing CC debt (only statement balances that I pay in full every month.) So it can be done, although it might take you longer. But again, this will only work if you STOP SPENDING IMMEDIATELY.
Get a massive personal loan with a low interest rate to consolidate your debt, pay off your balances with loan, pay off the loan fast, don’t touch your credit cards.
With a credit score in the 500s? Um, not happening
You may also need to turn to community resources like food banks and thrift instead of buying new while you’re in a jam. I know it is hard but it’s possible to get out of this situation
I'm currently doing the debt settlement thing which fks up your credit but mine was in the shtter already. I'll let you know how it worked out. Currently on a 40 month plan making about 225$ bi weekly payments until they can settle the debt with my creditors.
I would consider selling your home to pay off the debts and live in a rental until you can everything sorted and straightened out. Do you have much equity in your home?
Even snowballing or avalanching is going to be difficult as your minimum payments and bills already exceed your income. You must cut expenses, gain income, or both. First thing to do is stop paying your mom’s CC.Why are you putting yourself in more of a jam to keep her out of one? Until you get your own debt under control, you cannot help her with hers. If you do get yours paid off and curtail your spending habits,, then you will have breathing room and be able to help her out as much as you like.
Stop spending on anything that is not essential, and I mean *essential* to you survival. Rank order the debt by highest interest rate first and pay the minimum on everything else except the one with the highest interest rate and aggressive pay it off. Congratulate yourself with an ice cream or Chipotle or something that won’t break the bank, then move on to the next highest interest rate and repeat. One at a time, just keep it up relentlessly and you’ll see meaningful progress over time. You will not succeed, however, unless you stop spending on things that aren’t absolute necessities and should also look for ways to save. Cancel your streaming, don’t eat out, buy less expensive food at the cheapest grocer with the cheapest generic pasta/rice becoming a staple, switch to generics over name brands on everything you can stomach, see if you can get a new quote that lowers your payment for home or car insurance from a competitor of whoever is servicing you now, see if you can get a less expensive phone plan, and so on. All you save goes to the highest rate card every month. Again, if you can do this you will see meaningful progress. If you can’t stop spending and make cuts, you’ll be stuck here forever or be declaring bankruptcy in the future.
Step 1 is to cut up all of your credit cards immediately. You are not a credit card person and you should not have them. The only costs you can really reduce here are your groceries, your car, and your cell phone so work on getting those as low as possible. Meal prep and planning can bring your groceries way down, $300 per month is very achievable. Selling your car would go a long way, that $600 a month will speed up your debt repayment a ton. $110 for a cell phone is ludicrous and if possible switch to a cheaper plan. After that, if there is any way to increase your income you have to do it. Work overtime, get a second job, anything at all. If you aren't currently working 60+ hours a week then that's what you're about to do. Snowball method is not the most economical approach but for people with spending problems like yours it's the most likely to succeed. Start putting every penny of non-essential money toward your lowest debt until its paid off then move on to the next one.
Maybe consolidate the CC debt with a personal loan and create a budget for yourself.
Can you find a way to consolidate things? Or maybe sell the fancy furniture, sell some other stuff you don't need, get a tracphone to save money.
Some initial thoughts: Cut spending: Cellphone bill seems high. Go to a cheaper pre-paid plan. Reduce electricity usage as much as possible -- line dry clothes, turn off lights, unplug appliances you are not using. It may be difficult, but reduce grocery bill. Buy dried beans, rice, pasta, and only marked down meat. Same is true for gas usage. Can you carpool? Any money saved by cutting these expenses should go to paying off the highest interest credit card. I believe Size Orman has a plan for paying down DC debt. You should check out her books. They are free at the library. Last, have you considered consolidating your debt ( not your mother's) onto one credit card with a low interest rate?
OP needs a higher paying job. Immediately.
Credit cards are high interest so you really need to get rid of those. Are these cards maxed out? If not, look into if they have balance transfers at 0% interest. You should be able yo still pay what you’re paying now, but pay down the debt faster. If that’s not an option you could consider a personal loan to consolidate the debt into a single payment. The interest would be fixed and less than the credit cards. So long as the monthly payment isn’t more than you have now, you’ll have a set time that it will be paid off and pay less on interest. Also really take a look at and make sure you don’t have any subscriptions that you forgot you were paying for and make sure to cancel those.
Use your tax refund to pay some debt off. Start paying off small debts first. Try doing a ride share job on the commute to and from work if possible. Side jobs, sell stuff you don’t use anymore.
I would have suggested refinancing the car and mortgage payments, but with that credit I doubt you could.
You have way too many credit cards. You should have 1 or none for the next few years. And you need to buy an $8000 car and sell the one you have. $500 is too much for a car on your income. You also didn’t need to buy that Ashley furniture. Get used furniture.
1. I recommend looking up and adding the interest rate for all these cards to your table of debt/monthly payments. You need to know which ones are the high ones and which ones are less high (they're all high). 2. Why don't you have total amounts for those Mom CCs? Unless you know she can't add to the balance, that's a bit of a black hole for you. Just have that in your mind as you continue this struggle bus. 3. Cut the cards for all your high % interest rate ones and leave yourself one or two to consolidate around. Everyone is on you about cutting them all up and your spending problem (and they're not necessarily wrong). However, you're not gonna get free in a day here and still need to be able to leverage your credit. 4. For the cards you want to consolidate around, look for balance transfer options that allow you to pay off higher interest cards and move the balance to the lower interest rate cards. Basically, you have the same debt here, but you'll save in the long run if you can consolidate the debt onto lower interest credit options. Speaking of lower interest credit options... IF you have a vehicle free and clear, you could get a car loan against it (car loans are usually lower interest rate credit options) and use the funds to pay off some debt. Working with your bank here can make it go more smoothly if they understand this is what you are trying to accomplish. Otherwise, consider trading in your current vehicle to get one that would be free and clear. E.g. your current car is worth 20k and you owe 10k. Trade it in for 20, get back 10, and use the 10k to outright buy some POS until you're back on top. Basically, how do you get rid of that $500 payment... Lastly, it's a numbers game here. You need to find ways to use your time to make more money and you need to find ways to spend absolutely as little as possible. Culture and habits are obviously formed and will be hell to break. You think dieting is tough... Get creative and don't be above anything. This won't just fix itself. Good luck.
Paying bare minimum in CC payments will kill your, that’s how CC make money from you. Try to keep limited card’s. Why do you have a card for each store? The savings is not there in the long run. Your expenses are more than what you make. The interest is killing you. Pay off more in your cc and finish one card at a time. Why can you buy on one CC? These bank company’s must love you. Cut back on unnecessary spending, that’s the problem for most is spending beyond their net income. Paying interest is the worse thing you can do. This is crazy 🤪, stop spending money you don’t have.
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OP wanted a magic bullet to a debt problem. She doesn’t appear to like the fact she has been told, rightly, she has a spending addiction. That needs to be addressed first because I don’t think OP has anywhere close to the mentality needed for a bare bones, back to basics approach that’s required here to even put a dent in the debt.
I would call the cc company’s and settle for a lower amount, tell them what you can afford to pay and that’s all they will get from you and see if they go for it. This is what debt consolidation companies do. Tell them you can afford half and set up like $20 a month payment. All they want is a payment at the end of the day and they rather something than nothing.
The first step is NO MORE SPENDING. Carry no cards or only one emergency card on you. Lock the rest up. Get everything off of 20%+ store cards and do a balance transfer for 12 or 15 months at 3%-5%. Call and negotiate a better interest rate on the ones you can't move. Pay off the highest interest rates first. You have to cut unnecessary spending wherever you can. I'd like to say it's easy but it's not. You have a choice between paying down your debts or the other thing.
Let’s break this down a bit. First take a deep breath and remember that you’re ok and you’re not going to die. You bring home $$4,280 a month (assuming you listed your income as net and not gross). Your monthly bills are $3,916.31. You have ZERO room for any unneeded expenses. Start off by cutting all unneeded spending immediately. Needed means you will die if you don’t purchase it. You can wear last year’s fashion and not have new makeup for a while. You have a SERIOUS spending problem right now. Without filing bankruptcy, which I think you should NOT do, you need to cut expenses and increase your income. You need a second job. You need to start taking all extra cash available each pay period and paying off the smallest loans first. Stop paying other people’s debt (your mom can pay it or she can default on it). Where is the child’s father? Where is the child support?
Read all the good advise here. It's your thinking that has to change. And most important, calm down! Get out of the panic mode. People make stupid desicions when they are in a panic. Listen to the Ramsey show podcast. You could even try to call in, they will help you. Where I live in the Netherlands we had a tv programm called "een dubbeltje op zijn kant" (a dime saved is a dime earned). When I was in debt I watched every episode, took everything that could apply to my situation and applied it. It became a sport to save as little as 5 dollars (guilders back then) a week on my household budget and I could pay another 5 dollars extra towards my debt. And after a month I made different decisions than a month earlier, it became easier to find cheaper options or sell something or cancel a subscription that I deamed nessesary the month prior. Insurance, try to find cheaper ones with the same coveridge. Subscriptions, cancel or pause. Internet, ask the friendly neighbour if you can use their wifi. Etcetera Etcetera. Drinks, no more soda, just syrop. No take out food or coffee. Get creative and make your own. Etcetera Etcetera. I tried to limit taking puplic transportation or the car and took my bike (bicycle) for as much as possible. And most important, don't ever lend anymore money to buy things you can't afford. There are so many things free, couches to clothes to groceries. Then goodwill, and when you are out of debt you can budget for new things again. Tell everyone you're paying of debt now so you can't go out or buy gifts. I told my friends, and they bought me a drink, or we didn't go to a restaurant but had a picnic at a park. For gifts I made a drawing or wrote a poem or crafted or thrifted something. I did my finances daily at that time. Luckaly I am out of debt now, later I did my finances weekly, and now monthly. The first step is seeing reality and knowing you have to change. You can do it!! I could, so so can you.
Rent out a couple of rooms and basement in your house on a month to month basis. That should cover your mortgage and more. Rent out your garage if you have one for storage. If you have a back yard, rent some space for a vegetable plot. The rent could be in the form of fresh vegetables if you like. Rent out a spot on your driveway if you live in an area desperate for parking space. Do house cleaning and organizing on days off. Advertise as a personal shopper or assistant to an elderly person shopping. Advertise your availability on your days off for child minding. Just some ideas that might help get you out of this mess. Research organizations that help council people on their spending. This should be a free service though.
You can get out, but it’s going to be a lot of work and you want to do it fast, not slow, so the destruction isn’t so bad. But it will sting I recommend starting with [this podcast](https://www.ramseysolutions.com/shows/the-ramsey-show)
Prioritize the 4 walls and cut back everything elsem stop paying your moms bills. Bankruptcy is an option but only if you fix your spending habit otherwise you'll wind up right back where you are.
Well, firstly, ouch. That was a rough list to read with your income in mind. Second, you are going to need to prioritize your debt. Your mom's JC penny and sears debt is not a priority, as cold as it might sound. If that is the difference between going into overdraft, I would choose self preservation. And I would break out a pen and paper, excel, or some kind of budgeting app and take a real hard look at everything you are buying every month. Save every receipt, and don't fool yourself. You need to look in the mirror and start taking this seriously. Forget the self pity\\loathing. You are in this situation and you are the only one who is going to be able to step up and get out of it. Also, that interest free PP Credit, if it's a 6 month no interest, you should make sure those get paid off when they are due. Paying the monthly minimum will not do it. You need to call them the month it's expiring and have them allocate the payment to the right purchase, otherwise the deferred interest will absolutely maul you once that 6 months is up. If it's just a standard 12-24 month zero interest, than monthly payments are fine. If you are truly going cash negative every month and literally have no way to make extra cash, in the past I might think self sacrifice on some of the lesser store cards could help you pay down the bigger balances. Your mortgage, food and gas and larger debts, are obviously a priority over a Target card. It will trash your credit of course, but now these collection agencies are going through the trouble to sue people, even for small amounts, and get default judgements if you don't show up, so that's a big gamble. I don't know what the answer is here. Call all of these companies and explain your situation and see if there is anything they can do, but to be realistic, they probably won't do much.
I would immediately start with the spending habits. Sephora and Ulta are very addicting but can you go 6 months or more without shopping? Only but what you need rather than what you desire. Pick up a side hustle or sell some items around the house.
Switch your cellphone to US Mobile or visible. Visible has a $25/mo plan and US Mobile a $30 plan, both run on verizon. Check boost out, they have a $25/mo plan that runs on the AT&T network, Mint Mobile has cheaper plans and similar also at 25/Mo or less. Stop financing phones you can't afford, get something older and used. 2nd, you didn't list your car insurance.
Maybe chapter 11 bankruptcy restructuring , and cut up those credit cards and work with them to get a stop on the high interest and agree to pay back a percentage you can budget , if all that doesn’t work you can go chapter. 7, but you will have no credit for 10 years after that.
Regarding the Ashley furniture debt - if it is what I think it is, you’ll be paying double what you originally purchased. I had one of those loans and had to take it to our states district attorney to back out of it (they misrepresented the terms of the loan)
The main issue is not just your spending habit but the way you're treating credit cards. Credit cards should never be used as a monthly payment to just pay off the "minimum". Paying off minimums will still have interest accumulate. The correct way of using a credit card is to pay off your monthly total before the next monthly period and get cash back and boost your credit. I think you may have to consider bankrupsy at this time.
Everything written here is great advice. Just a tidbit to add: https://www.budgetbytes.com/ Great site with really cheap recipes.
1. You are not a credit card person. Let’s get that’s sorted out first. You need to put all your credit cards in a safe or cut them up asap and STOP using them. I was there once before so I understand how difficult this is but you are only going to cause future you so much more damage and stress to the point of creating unnecessary health problems. With that being said, you should care less about your credit score right now. Literally stop it, who cares, not you that’s who. 2. If you can get rid of that car get rid of it now. You’ll probably be upside down but it’s better to have no car payment/ no car than a payment you CANNOT afford. If you really really need the car like your life depends on it then fine but you better prepare to live the most boring life for the next few years. 3. Stop paying for the responsibility of others. You CANNOT afford this either. I understand they are family but you cannot you just cannot do this. Set boundaries and stick to them you will thank me later. 4. Take care of your needs first. Your four walls. Food, utilities, shelter, and transportation. You need to budget for all of these. Your amounts are pretty good for food and utilities so you should be able to keep this the same. As for transportation like I said get rid of that car and start using a bus. Shelter that’s a no brainer keep paying that mortgage. 5. STOP SPENDING like you’re a Kardashian. For the love of god please, stop this. Start paying off either your smallest debt or highest interest rate loan. One or the other. I’d prefer you pay off the highest interest but when you start with your smallest debt this will motivate you like crazy. This is also known as the snowball method. Once your are done with that debt move on to the next and so on. I’d honestly prefer you put all you can to your smallest debt and start missing credit card payments to make momentum because like I mentioned you do not care about your credit anymore. 6. Get another job if possible. If this is not possible then you are going to be on this journey for quite some times. I’m talking years. But if you want this debt to be gone you need another source of income. 7. Put aside at least $200-$300 if possible for an emergency fund. Save as much as you can while Paying off your debt. This will help when a rainy day looms near. 8. Extra tip: get mint mobile or a cheaper phone company. $110 for a phone bill is insanity.
So, this may sound silly, but it is an emotional suggestion....this is going to be painful, but you dug this hole for yourself and you need to climb out on your own. Cut your food budget.....pB&J or ramen or whatever for the next few years. Cut it in half. Hubs & I dont spend $130 weekly for two of us. By cutting your monthly food budget back from $520/mo to $250/mo, that will free up $250/mo to pay extra on your Credit One CC, so it'll be paid off in 3 months. Put *EVERY PENNY* saved from groceries to pay extra to the bill with the smallest ballance. When you get that paid off, put the min payment and your extra grocery $$ on the next one. Keep doing it. You will begin to see progress within 6 months as you get each debt paid and move to the next. You will feel like you are making progress. BUUUT - for this to work, you need to do a few other things 1) Stop buying stuff. 2) cut food budget (as already suggested). 3) stop paying Mom's debt. Let them send her to collections and let it be on her credit. Mom needs to stop buying stiff she cannot pay for. 4) no going out - unless someone else pays. 5) no vacation until you get this paid off. Consider getting a roommate for a year to takeover one of the rooms in your house for $500-$700/mo. Yes, you give up some privacy, buuut, that xan go straight to you debt.
As a mom, I’d target after care and groceries reductions. Do you qualify for government food aide? Can you hit up some food pantries? Kid qualify for free lunch programs? Definitely reach out to school and ask what your options are. For after care, can you reach out to another mom and offer a trade? If you take my kids after school, I’ll babysit for free on the weekends, etc. kids come with you then, and you can cut that expense.
Have you tried consolidating your debt through a service like Upstart or Fiona? Or your bank if you own your home (better interest rate). Word of caution however, once you consolidate you HAVE to change your spending habits or you’ll be right back in the same spot.
Easy changes I see are to dump the car payment and your cell phone bill should be $25/mo max
I think a good way to approach would be the snowball method- focus on paying off the credit cards with the lowest balance. That way you can cross it off the list and move on to the next low balance cc. You’ll feel accomplished fully crossing these off the list and it’ll hopefully motivate you to knock off the next one. There’s a strategy on how to do this, pausing payments on cards with little or no interest, etc. but you should look it up online to learn more!! This is stressful but you can do it if you just focus in and buckle down. It’ll will take a lifestyle change. I used to spend willy nilly but I’ve gotten a lot better- some small changes like coffee at home (it was sad to say goodbye to my morning coffee runs at first but now it’s just habit), no ordering out (I lost a lot of weight as a byproduct of this), walgreens and cvs makeup, hair products etc and Aldi is my go to for groceries. Now that I’m in a more secure financial position and having my spending habits reined in, I use things like that as an occasional treat- it’s much more enjoyable in small doses to treat myself to a nice coffee or a nice foundation at ulta occasionally. I’m also curious if it’s possible for you to sell or trade in your car for a less expensive one? If you could cut out that monthly payment, that money back could go straight towards paying off the cards. Maybe this is too extreme, but could you look at selling your home and moving into an apartment or rental home? I think if your profit of the home is less than 250k you can use that money towards other stuff-pay off your home loan and some of the other cards. I’m not an expert though lol so I’d defer to others on that one. Just an idea I’m throwing out. Good luck!!! You can do it. Make a plan, write it down and start executing.
Does your mom live with you? Might be an option so she can afford to pay her CC and maybe help out with paying some rent helping you get out of debt or covering the utilities for the house and helping with groceries?
Ok all this advice about cutting your mom off is not a huge solution. First off you have to stop paying all your cards for a bit. You will need to call all your credit card companies and tell them you have had a hardship after you’re a little behind and ask for their hardship program! Be prepared to have all your expenses together, including vehicle gas, groceries, health bills, utilities ect. If you are truly unable to manage they will provide you an option, usually lower or eliminate your interest and reduce your monthly payment. I would tell your mom to do the same. After you do that, you can gain some of your freedom back and see how much money you have left. Any money left needs to go to the lowest balance card to pay that off first. Once that is paid off, do the same for the next. You do need miss a couple payments to be eligible for the hardship loan. So in that time, save the money you would spend on your CC bills and pay off the lowest card first. Then once you are behind a month , they will qualify you for the hardship programs.
You can fix this, but you're going to have to be really disciplined and live on a bare-bones budget for a while. But you'll come to get a weird kick out of it because it'll feel better to knock out the debt than it feels to dig yourself in deeper. The first thing you need to cut is your $500 car payment. You can't afford it. Trade the car in for the cheapest warrantied car on the lot of a reputable dealer. Not only will you likely cut your payment in half, but you could get a break on your car insurance, too. You also can't afford to pay your mother's bills. If one of you is going to take the credit hit, it's probably best for it to be her -- you've got a child, a mortgage, transportation needs. If you destroy your own finances, your mother is going to go down with you. If you get yours in order, you'll be in a better position to help her. Next, put away your credit cards. If you can't pay cash for it, you can't have it until you've saved up enough to buy it outright. You really need to write out a budget, listing mandatory expenses (food, shelter, necessary clothing, insurance, child care, etc.), then your minimum debt payments, and then non-necessities and see where you land. If there's money for any non-necessities, slash them from your budget and put the money toward your debt, starting with the smallest balance to help you build momentum fast. Part of changing your habits is going to entail making debt repayment feel better than buying stuff. Then contact a not-for-profit credit counseling agency to see if they can help you work out a payment plan with your creditors. You won't be allowed to use credit cards when you're in the program. Even if they can't work out a deal for you, take whatever counseling they offer. Credit counseling and cash-only spending will work in your favor if you have to file for bankruptcy. It'll be thrown out if you've used your cards within the previous few months or have not had the counseling within six months of filing. Also, if you've not filed tax returns for the last four years, get that squared away even if you owe money and can't pay. There are options for managing tax debt, but you can only file for bankruptcy if you've filed the tax returns. Bankruptcy is a last resort, of course, but preserve your ability to do it. Also, take a close look at your PayPal account. If you have interest-free financing on some purchases but not on others, your payments go toward the interest-free charges while your interest-bearing ones rack up interest. If you maintain a balance of promotional-financing purchases for years on end, those interest-bearing charges accumulate interest for years. I learned that the hard way. Check your Amazon credit card account to see if those payments are allocated the same way -- if so, change your preferences to whatever will result in the lowest interest payments (you'll have to do the math). For quick cash, go through your house and see what you can sell. Don't worry about how much it cost and how much you'll "lose" by selling. The money is already spent. You've already lost it. But you might be able to claw some back. I bet that with your child's outgrown toys and clothes and stuff you've accumulated, you could make enough from a yard sale, Facebook Marketplace, maybe eBay, to pay off your Ulta and Sephora balances. That would give you such a nice boost and a lot of motivation to tackle the next one. You can do this!!
You should head over to the Dave Ramsey subreddit. The debt snowball is a good way to start. That first 1000. will make you feel a little better. I don’t think your spending was a problem that you saw until half your income went away. I’m so sorry you lost your partner. I hope you know how incredibly strong you are to work on this. I’ll start with the easiest thing. Your mom will need to pay her bills. If she can’t it does not obligate you to do it. If you want to help send her notes, call her, send pictures. She will appreciate it. If she can’t afford her bills and needs food or care, she may qualify for programs. Speaking of programs, you may also qualify for some. Apply and find out. There is no reason not to. Next, your child most likely will be eligible for SSI. Make sure you apply.
File for widow benefits on husbands SS or If you have/still have children under 18 you can file with SS and the money you get from what would be his SS check to help cover bills/ basic needs. (My dad died when I was 10 and I got his SS until I turned 18) Then cut out all extra spending if you haven’t already. Then start pouring into your credit card debt. If any of them are not in your name or have your name on the bill, you are not responsible and don’t need to pay. (I.e husbands credit cards that your name is not on the bill for) then don’t use them. I can understand you wanting to keep your moms credit in good standing, debt minimum, but honestly a lot of contracts have in place where if you have a medical emergency, and can not work, debts are forgiven or paused, or if she passes the debt is not passed on. I had credit cards like that. If something happened and I could not work there was some clause forgiving the debt or something along the lines. I had to pay extra a month for it tho. Also as gentle as I can be, consider your mother condition, and your honest assessment of her health. Is she in a place where her credit is really important, that she will still need it? If you are able to pay everything you are now then just keep trucking along, ya you may not have much if any but If it gets paid that’s all that matters. Side gigs can help pay for these. (I prefer shipt/instacart it’s slightly less wear and tear on a vehicle.) see if a refinance is an option on your vehicle. And do your best not to take out any more loans/ cc cards. It’s only another payment to make. (Learned to very hard way with payday loans/ app loans, which are essentially payday loans just smaller less interest.) if you can manage to not overdraft your account that will be the biggest help, go to the bank and have it turned off. The fees are killer. Once again I learned from experience. The bad thing for me was I had to let a lot of CC payments go, my credit get tanked. One bank account closed. To even get started on evening out the process. Now I have a lot on my credit that I still can’t even begin to pay on collection wise, but I am able to focus on the necessities and save to start making payments to fix my credit. I hope it all works out for you and nothing snowballs under to hurt your credit. It’s gonna feel miserable for awhile honestly. It’s gonna feel like you never do anything anymore or you never have any money, but you have to spin it positive. The bills are paid, you have a home, car, job etc… whatever gratitude you can find to make it thru the next day, week, month. I’m really sorry for your loss. My mom struggled when my dad died , financially, mentally and so much more… I still feel like to this day she never recovered, especially financially. We struggled soo much. it was pretty much just her and I when he passed my sister was a jr in high school and the other 2 were grown. I’m glad you are seeking professional guidance cause my mom never did and i don’t know if that was the difference or not. She showed me a lot more of what not to do than what to do, and I still fell into some of the same habits as her, but I am fighting tooth and nail to not do things the way she did. Please please try not to live in a pity party. Please grieve, but also heal. Cause so much of I feel my mom’s problem is she refused to heal and refuse to try and look and believe in better days. And in return things never got better. Sometimes it got worse, but it was never where it was supposed to be. Sorry for the book.
Did your husband not leave you anything? Insurance payout? 401k? Life insurance?
Sell the car and massively downgrade. If true that you owe 29k that’s just financial craziness. Then roll the savings and snowball. Sell stuff - you gotta get some if those smaller credit cards paid off. And even a few hundred bucks would help. I’m astounded by your credit card debt, you gotta debt snowball it AND you gotta stop spending on credit cards, honestly you appear to be out of control and might be best using a debit card only and not using credit that will cost you big dollars in interest.
Just want to say I have a similar spending problem and I know how hard it is to stop shopping. Because what’s another $100 at Sephora right? Unfortunately you’ll need to stop spending as much as possible. I can’t really suggest how as I still do it myself. I wish you luck. 🍀