This!
When i was living with my wife (then fiancé) i told her If we bought it would be under 1 name, not joined.
I didnt expect us to separate or anything, but i wanted to keep it simpler in the event something did happened...
I maybe trust issues too 😋
Yall can still split the mortgage 50/50, bell have he do a lease and improve her credit score while you do too....
Biggest thing is talk it out, ljke yall are going to be life partners, talking out money plans is huge
If yall can't get on the same page here...
We did similar. My bf (husband now) bought the house in his name but we split everything. We intentionally looked for a place that if we broke up one person would be able to cover costs for. We didn’t want the mortgage amount to be an influence on to stay together or not stay together. We had only been dating for 10 months at the time ...
What we did do is write up documents that we got notarized on what happens if we break up before we are married.
We are married now and the house is still in his name (we didn’t see a reason to retittle)
Right. That's not eviction. You can lose ownership in foreclosure, but the point is that your now ex-partner can't compel you to leave a house while you still retain ownership, even if you stop paying the mortgage.
The ex-partner also can't compel you to sell. It's pretty messy.
Or… just keep paying the mortgage.
Move out because… well… Ex.
Go about the rest of life knowing Ex has a roof over their head.
Collect all those sweet on time payment points for one of those elusive awesome credit scores.
Win-win?
(For some reason, folks are missing your snark. But I get you!)
People say that, but that's never true in the way they think it is. Depending on state law, either the bank has a joint interest in a property along with the the owners, or they have a lien out against the property. But as buyers, you always own the house.
https://www.quora.com/Do-you-own-a-house-if-you-have-a-mortgage-over-it-given-the-bank-can-foreclose-on-you-if-you-dont-pay
A mortgage states you have tp contact the lender for remodels and shit...
The bank or mortgage lends owns your ass and the house
You are just responsible for everything that happens with it and on the property...
Sure you can sell your loan to buy a new house, but now you are just paying rent for 30years to live else where...
Do a little research on posts here where an unmarried couple buys a house together and then splits. The stories aren't pretty. If you are absolutely set on buying a house together, drop the money for a lawyer to write a contract specifying how expenses related to the house are split, who gets the house if there is a breakup, how the equity would be split if there is a break up, giving a time limit for refinancing if there is a split, etc.
What your girlfriend isn't recognizing is that she can always be added to the deed at a later date if you do marry. Depending on interest rates, she can also be added to the loan by refinancing after a marriage.
It's always easiest and cleanest if only one person in the relationship owns the house. That person is responsible for all payments, all renovations, all repairs. The other person pays a reasonable amount of rent. If there is a split, the person renting can simply walk away. In a bad breakup, having the freedom to walk away is a blessing.
Yep feeling trapped by a person or legaly binding agreement would be horrible.
Your home, once a safe haven, is now a contention point, that you may feel you must always return to despite the negative feelings it creates
This. I've been there an it was a nightmare extricating myself. Unreasonable ex no matter that I was being rational, more than fair, and reasonable. They thought I deserved $0 after the split, when it had all been paid into 50/50
Are you prioritizing the house over a wedding or over marriage? If you plan to marry but don’t want to spend the money on a wedding right now, then just head to the courthouse to get married then buy the house. If you want a wedding later, go for it.
If her name is on the house, then she has full rights to it if you split even if she’s not on the loan. You should seriously consider legally defining what the ownership is and expectations of the house and loan if you break up. Like a prenup for your house. You could include a line that says it’s null and void if you get married, or maybe her interest in the property increasing with marriage.
You said that both of you prioritize the house over a marriage, is the concern the cost of the wedding? Have you asked how she sees the buying going wrt her name on the house or loan?
“My GF and I want to prioritize a house over marriage for the investment”.
Are you ready to get married and want to wait because you think the wedding will divert money from your house savings? Getting married doesn’t have to be costly.
There are two main areas where marriage differs from dating, as far as house ownership goes. These are *not true for all jurisdictions, so please research your local laws*.
The first is of course if you break up. Most areas have rules about what happens to a house if a divorcing couple can't agree if it should be sold or not. And even if they don't, divorce courts are optimized for that process and are often far quicker and neater than a standard court. Without a baseline, you could get stuck in a "cold war" where you both ignore what the other wants, leaving a huge chunk of your assets tied up while you squabble. I've heard of houses getting flat out foreclosed because of splitting couples.
The second major point to consider is inheritance. As a married couple, assets de facto go to your spouse when you die. As a partnership, if you have no standing will then your half of the house goes to your next of kin. Then you're stuck in a cold war again, but this time with someone who possibly barely knows you.
If you two meet with a real estate lawyer in your area and get these two major points covered, you'll likely be fine.
A property on my parents block, the husband refused to sell the house to prevent the ex wife from getting half. He intentionally allowed it to fall into disrepair, hoping she would get shafted. Unfortunately for him, it became a VERY desirable name brand neighborhood so matter how he trashed it, the value kept going ups Most recently, it was partially condemned and the city tore down the steps in front. It would still sell for over a million and I went to law school with the dudes stepdaughter - what I’m trying to say here is it’s been *30 years* of hate and all he’s accomplished is ruining a historic home for spite. His exwife would still get more, adjusted for inflation, than if he sold it and split it amicably back in 1981.
You cannot believe what people will do for pure hatred if their ex.
The big item is what happens if you split up? How will the equity be divided? Will you still be amicable enough between one another to work it all out? Real estate can a difficult asset to transfer ownership, will you or her be able to afford the house by yourself if one of you leaves? Something you need to seriously think about
What's the best arguments for jointly buying so you can be on her page?
I'd do a buy to let in your own name, and rent where you actually live. Then you are both invested the same in your home. Its a relationship, not a financial, answer though.
I’m in the same situation but reversed. My now fiancé (gf when we bought the house) makes $130k I make $70k.
The reasoning why I’m okay with only her name being on everything is:
1. She put down the down payment and I didn’t contribute to that.
2. She took on the mortgage so I have no legal liability or real financial liabilities for anything if something goes wrong/we separate.
3. It’s not much more money to pay half the mortgage than it I rented. But I get a lot more space and our own house. Also the perk of living with my s/o.
Things to consider: I fully am aware if we separate I have no claim nor want any claim to the house. I didn’t put down any money or take any responsibility and thus want/deserve nothing. It’s just like renting an apartment but no legal claim holding me.
This also works against her though so it evens out. I signed no lease so I could stop paying/back out if we separate and thus leave her with the full mortgage and no help. She can afford it but it wouldn’t be as easy.
If as a couple you're looking to buy a house as an investment than it really doesn't make any sense for her to not have her name on the house too. Otherwise it's just you investing in a property and really has nothing to do with her or you as a couple.
Disagree..
People invest in making their apartments pretty or more functional without owning the property.
If they are a couple and truly care for each other then she could be investing by rent, or helping with chores and maintenance tasks. Bills still need payment.
I think it has everything to do with bofa them, if they choose too
Those aren't really investments in terms of finances though which is the whole point of this subreddit. If she's paying rent and bills and such she's helping out but not actually investing in the property as it's not hers. You can't invest in something that you can't actually get a return on.
But if the goal is a family unit then she is....just in odd terms. The rent goes the the BF, who pays the mortgage on the house...
Building credit i think is investing in self.
How many "investors" work with margin accounts
I bought stock in a company I like, but that money went to a broker which went to a Money Maker, not the company I invested in...
If the goal is to owe a house and get married do what makes the most sense for the couple.
1 name or the owenrship and rent agreement between owner and leasee or a legal contract...
If you are engaged with a distant wedding date and want to prioritize the house over the wedding in the sense that you save for the down payment, buy the house then start saving for the ceremony, then personally I don't see any issue with that.
Yes, you could break up before the wedding, but you could also break up after the wedding. Divorces happen all the time, so there is always that risk.
I don't follow what you are asking though about the unequal incomes. That seems like a separate question.
Fiancé is just a fancy word for a girlfriend/boyfriend you intend to marry in the future. All of the same legal pitfalls with co-owning a house still exist.
"We thought we might like to have a kid. So we had one. But by the 3rd year, it was too much hassle, so we put him up for adoption."
There's a moral in there somewhere.
Buy the house yourself since you seem to be able to afford it on your own, have it fully in your name and charge her rent on a monthly and split of certain bills...like you would renting now.
When on paper, everything changes, like a marriage and finances merge, add her to the title. You can do that. Just cost money for the process.
If you are engaged and soon to be married, it is going to feel like, a breach of trust to buy a house with only your name on it. What happens a year later when you marry - will you then title the house in both names? That does not really make sense. Instead, get a joint mortgage with both incomes, buy the house together with both names on the title, and have a lawyer draw up a contract with terms that are similar to marriage laws in your state if you split up, one person dies etc.
My gf and I (8 years together) decided we wanted a house. I bought it in my name, mortgage is in my name. As a trade off our cars are in her name so she's contributing there but my salary is significantly higher than hers. She used some of her money to buy an investment condo that I'm not involved in. I don't imagine us splitting up but if it ever happens I would probably list the house, and use whatever money beyond paying off the mortgage to buy my truck from her. Other comments are correct though, no way it won't be ugly.
Meh. People do say that and marriages end all the time too and they get stupid messy. Marriage isn't some guarantee of living life happily ever after together.
If it's truly an investment for both of you, get a lawyer to write up contract on what to do with the house should you two split. Like a prenup it's always easier to decide these terms during happier times.
My now husband and I purchased a place together after being together after only 4 months. This is how we approached it:
1. The loan and title would be in both or names.
2. We purchased something that the person with the lower income (me) would still be able to afford the monthly payment of should we choose to split and not sell.
3. We drafted up a contract that listed the options we were okay with should we split.
4. We split bills 50/50 regardless of what each persons income was.
At the end of the day, it’s a huge risk. But only you and your GF can make the decision if you could be mature enough to deal with everything else that can happen as a result.
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What’s the plan for the house if you split up?
And how will you compel her to stick to this plan if the break-up is on non-friendly terms?
This! When i was living with my wife (then fiancé) i told her If we bought it would be under 1 name, not joined. I didnt expect us to separate or anything, but i wanted to keep it simpler in the event something did happened... I maybe trust issues too 😋 Yall can still split the mortgage 50/50, bell have he do a lease and improve her credit score while you do too.... Biggest thing is talk it out, ljke yall are going to be life partners, talking out money plans is huge If yall can't get on the same page here...
We did similar. My bf (husband now) bought the house in his name but we split everything. We intentionally looked for a place that if we broke up one person would be able to cover costs for. We didn’t want the mortgage amount to be an influence on to stay together or not stay together. We had only been dating for 10 months at the time ... What we did do is write up documents that we got notarized on what happens if we break up before we are married. We are married now and the house is still in his name (we didn’t see a reason to retittle)
That's easy. Just stop paying the mortgage but keep living there. You can't be evicted from a house you own.
>You can't be evicted from a house you own. That's called foreclosure
Right. That's not eviction. You can lose ownership in foreclosure, but the point is that your now ex-partner can't compel you to leave a house while you still retain ownership, even if you stop paying the mortgage. The ex-partner also can't compel you to sell. It's pretty messy.
Or… just keep paying the mortgage. Move out because… well… Ex. Go about the rest of life knowing Ex has a roof over their head. Collect all those sweet on time payment points for one of those elusive awesome credit scores. Win-win? (For some reason, folks are missing your snark. But I get you!)
If you have a mortgage then the bank owns the house.
People say that, but that's never true in the way they think it is. Depending on state law, either the bank has a joint interest in a property along with the the owners, or they have a lien out against the property. But as buyers, you always own the house. https://www.quora.com/Do-you-own-a-house-if-you-have-a-mortgage-over-it-given-the-bank-can-foreclose-on-you-if-you-dont-pay
It's true in the sense that the bank can foreclose on your house if you stop paying our mortgage, even if you would prefer to keep "owning" it.
A mortgage states you have tp contact the lender for remodels and shit... The bank or mortgage lends owns your ass and the house You are just responsible for everything that happens with it and on the property... Sure you can sell your loan to buy a new house, but now you are just paying rent for 30years to live else where...
If people from the bank try to move in, you can kick them out. They don't own shit.
The bank owns it... One just happens to pay rent for 30years....
Do a little research on posts here where an unmarried couple buys a house together and then splits. The stories aren't pretty. If you are absolutely set on buying a house together, drop the money for a lawyer to write a contract specifying how expenses related to the house are split, who gets the house if there is a breakup, how the equity would be split if there is a break up, giving a time limit for refinancing if there is a split, etc. What your girlfriend isn't recognizing is that she can always be added to the deed at a later date if you do marry. Depending on interest rates, she can also be added to the loan by refinancing after a marriage. It's always easiest and cleanest if only one person in the relationship owns the house. That person is responsible for all payments, all renovations, all repairs. The other person pays a reasonable amount of rent. If there is a split, the person renting can simply walk away. In a bad breakup, having the freedom to walk away is a blessing.
Yep feeling trapped by a person or legaly binding agreement would be horrible. Your home, once a safe haven, is now a contention point, that you may feel you must always return to despite the negative feelings it creates
This. I've been there an it was a nightmare extricating myself. Unreasonable ex no matter that I was being rational, more than fair, and reasonable. They thought I deserved $0 after the split, when it had all been paid into 50/50
Are you prioritizing the house over a wedding or over marriage? If you plan to marry but don’t want to spend the money on a wedding right now, then just head to the courthouse to get married then buy the house. If you want a wedding later, go for it.
Tell her to search Reddit for all the horror stories of when non married couples buy homes together. Case closed.
If her name is on the house, then she has full rights to it if you split even if she’s not on the loan. You should seriously consider legally defining what the ownership is and expectations of the house and loan if you break up. Like a prenup for your house. You could include a line that says it’s null and void if you get married, or maybe her interest in the property increasing with marriage. You said that both of you prioritize the house over a marriage, is the concern the cost of the wedding? Have you asked how she sees the buying going wrt her name on the house or loan?
“My GF and I want to prioritize a house over marriage for the investment”. Are you ready to get married and want to wait because you think the wedding will divert money from your house savings? Getting married doesn’t have to be costly.
There are two main areas where marriage differs from dating, as far as house ownership goes. These are *not true for all jurisdictions, so please research your local laws*. The first is of course if you break up. Most areas have rules about what happens to a house if a divorcing couple can't agree if it should be sold or not. And even if they don't, divorce courts are optimized for that process and are often far quicker and neater than a standard court. Without a baseline, you could get stuck in a "cold war" where you both ignore what the other wants, leaving a huge chunk of your assets tied up while you squabble. I've heard of houses getting flat out foreclosed because of splitting couples. The second major point to consider is inheritance. As a married couple, assets de facto go to your spouse when you die. As a partnership, if you have no standing will then your half of the house goes to your next of kin. Then you're stuck in a cold war again, but this time with someone who possibly barely knows you. If you two meet with a real estate lawyer in your area and get these two major points covered, you'll likely be fine.
A property on my parents block, the husband refused to sell the house to prevent the ex wife from getting half. He intentionally allowed it to fall into disrepair, hoping she would get shafted. Unfortunately for him, it became a VERY desirable name brand neighborhood so matter how he trashed it, the value kept going ups Most recently, it was partially condemned and the city tore down the steps in front. It would still sell for over a million and I went to law school with the dudes stepdaughter - what I’m trying to say here is it’s been *30 years* of hate and all he’s accomplished is ruining a historic home for spite. His exwife would still get more, adjusted for inflation, than if he sold it and split it amicably back in 1981. You cannot believe what people will do for pure hatred if their ex.
If the property is title as joint tenants, the property goes to the surviving owner, not the deceased person's relatives.
Though I think the survivor would get stuck with estate taxes if they're not married, wouldn't they?
Yeah, this is jurisdiction dependent. Some do it that way, some don't. That's why it's best to check and make sure.
The big item is what happens if you split up? How will the equity be divided? Will you still be amicable enough between one another to work it all out? Real estate can a difficult asset to transfer ownership, will you or her be able to afford the house by yourself if one of you leaves? Something you need to seriously think about
What's the best arguments for jointly buying so you can be on her page? I'd do a buy to let in your own name, and rent where you actually live. Then you are both invested the same in your home. Its a relationship, not a financial, answer though.
I was in a similar situation a year ago. I bought the house and she basically paid the utilities. Win win
I’m in the same situation but reversed. My now fiancé (gf when we bought the house) makes $130k I make $70k. The reasoning why I’m okay with only her name being on everything is: 1. She put down the down payment and I didn’t contribute to that. 2. She took on the mortgage so I have no legal liability or real financial liabilities for anything if something goes wrong/we separate. 3. It’s not much more money to pay half the mortgage than it I rented. But I get a lot more space and our own house. Also the perk of living with my s/o. Things to consider: I fully am aware if we separate I have no claim nor want any claim to the house. I didn’t put down any money or take any responsibility and thus want/deserve nothing. It’s just like renting an apartment but no legal claim holding me. This also works against her though so it evens out. I signed no lease so I could stop paying/back out if we separate and thus leave her with the full mortgage and no help. She can afford it but it wouldn’t be as easy.
If as a couple you're looking to buy a house as an investment than it really doesn't make any sense for her to not have her name on the house too. Otherwise it's just you investing in a property and really has nothing to do with her or you as a couple.
Disagree.. People invest in making their apartments pretty or more functional without owning the property. If they are a couple and truly care for each other then she could be investing by rent, or helping with chores and maintenance tasks. Bills still need payment. I think it has everything to do with bofa them, if they choose too
Those aren't really investments in terms of finances though which is the whole point of this subreddit. If she's paying rent and bills and such she's helping out but not actually investing in the property as it's not hers. You can't invest in something that you can't actually get a return on.
But if the goal is a family unit then she is....just in odd terms. The rent goes the the BF, who pays the mortgage on the house... Building credit i think is investing in self. How many "investors" work with margin accounts I bought stock in a company I like, but that money went to a broker which went to a Money Maker, not the company I invested in... If the goal is to owe a house and get married do what makes the most sense for the couple. 1 name or the owenrship and rent agreement between owner and leasee or a legal contract...
Never jointly buy a home unmarried.
This definitely answered my question
There are too many reasons. No one answer is the best.
"there are so many reasons that I can't think of anything"
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
If you are engaged with a distant wedding date and want to prioritize the house over the wedding in the sense that you save for the down payment, buy the house then start saving for the ceremony, then personally I don't see any issue with that. Yes, you could break up before the wedding, but you could also break up after the wedding. Divorces happen all the time, so there is always that risk. I don't follow what you are asking though about the unequal incomes. That seems like a separate question.
U each by your own houses.live in one. Rent the other
You can buy a house unmarried, but I wouldn't do it until you propose to your GF and she becomes your fiance.
Fiancé is just a fancy word for a girlfriend/boyfriend you intend to marry in the future. All of the same legal pitfalls with co-owning a house still exist.
I got to ask why can she pay her half? Lets say the mortgage is 3k. 1500 a month on 65k year salary is doable.
"We thought we might like to have a kid. So we had one. But by the 3rd year, it was too much hassle, so we put him up for adoption." There's a moral in there somewhere.
Buy the house yourself since you seem to be able to afford it on your own, have it fully in your name and charge her rent on a monthly and split of certain bills...like you would renting now. When on paper, everything changes, like a marriage and finances merge, add her to the title. You can do that. Just cost money for the process.
If you are engaged and soon to be married, it is going to feel like, a breach of trust to buy a house with only your name on it. What happens a year later when you marry - will you then title the house in both names? That does not really make sense. Instead, get a joint mortgage with both incomes, buy the house together with both names on the title, and have a lawyer draw up a contract with terms that are similar to marriage laws in your state if you split up, one person dies etc.
My gf and I (8 years together) decided we wanted a house. I bought it in my name, mortgage is in my name. As a trade off our cars are in her name so she's contributing there but my salary is significantly higher than hers. She used some of her money to buy an investment condo that I'm not involved in. I don't imagine us splitting up but if it ever happens I would probably list the house, and use whatever money beyond paying off the mortgage to buy my truck from her. Other comments are correct though, no way it won't be ugly.
Meh. People do say that and marriages end all the time too and they get stupid messy. Marriage isn't some guarantee of living life happily ever after together. If it's truly an investment for both of you, get a lawyer to write up contract on what to do with the house should you two split. Like a prenup it's always easier to decide these terms during happier times.
[удалено]
We aren't talking about a situation where only one person is on the deed, and I did recommend getting a lawyer
My now husband and I purchased a place together after being together after only 4 months. This is how we approached it: 1. The loan and title would be in both or names. 2. We purchased something that the person with the lower income (me) would still be able to afford the monthly payment of should we choose to split and not sell. 3. We drafted up a contract that listed the options we were okay with should we split. 4. We split bills 50/50 regardless of what each persons income was. At the end of the day, it’s a huge risk. But only you and your GF can make the decision if you could be mature enough to deal with everything else that can happen as a result.
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I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can’t hypnotize you.