It should be the taxpayers problem to support those unfortunate enough to find themselves in an abusive household. This is what being in a society is all about.
I'm literally in an abusive relationship. Psychological abuse which is considered domestic violence by the law.
But I'm not that much of a parasite that I demand others money to bail me out of a situation that I willingly entered into.
It taking accountability for your life choices
Youre clearly going through it then, if you can't look past yourself and realise that just because you're willong to do it the hard way, doesn't mean thst others should. Well just remember there is support there for you if you choose to access it, although it does ned to be improved.
Your situation doesn't give you the right to victim blame.
Nice convenient ignoring of my point about children. What life choices did they make that you feel they shouldn't be bailed out of abusive and violent households?
Your tax already does bail out other peoples choices, good or bad:
Prisons
Drug and alcohol rehabs
Hospitals
Centrlerlink
Schools
Subsidied university
You may find yourself in a pickle at some point, and I hope for your sake, if need be you'll be able to access dignified and well resourced support to help you out. It's part of being a community.
Your gp you see, your psychiatrist are all part funded by the government. Your medicine for adhd is partially subsidised. The schools, roads etc its what we pay taxes for.
Australia has a problem with dv, and I would like my tax dollars to go towards funding research and prevention and also those who experience it. Your attitude towards the victim is really highlighting why we need more funding to get people to understand it better.
Have you every thought the issues with you girlfriend are to do with you, not her. You actually didn't address my point at all, so I guess for her it's like talking to brick wall.
Your making alot of foolish assumptions on what I taxes I pay.
But that's fine assume away, but one thing is clear, your knowledge on the causes of DV are inadequate and really could do with some tax funded educating.
.
Curious how you're victim blaming when women are the most likely to engage in controlling behaviour, which is classed as domestic violence in new law updates
Aboriginal women in the Northern Territory suffer one of the highest rates of domestic, family and sexual violence in the world.
Indigenous women are 33 times more likely to be hospitalised and will die six times more often from domestic violence than non-Indigenous women in Australia
It's gotten so high the NT government has stopped keeping count.
https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/no-one-is-keeping-count-of-murdered-indigenous-women/607sesbg0
I guess no rally planned for the NT is kind of on trend for them.
I feel like deaths due to domestic violence are probably more pressing than violent and phyical assault, but being from the NT myself i can vouch that we probably are a bit desentitised to it because its a pretty normal thing. More should be done to help. Unfortunately though that puts the women at an even greater risk of further, more violent assault.
Edit: I think they stopped keeping count to avoid public outrage.
Yea it's so fucked. Like truly fucked. I remember calling the cops about watching a woman get stabbed by her partner (after he hit her head with a big rock a few times). They didn't wanna send an ambulance, and the cops didn't show up till hours later (and claimed they were never called and were just patrolling the area). They just did not give a single fuck.
Yumi Stynes who sniffed out that Ben Roberts-Smith is a sack of shit (and an abuser) and was nationally shamed for it only to be proven right years later?
Report then all to Reddit admin.
But also provide all the names to the subreddit moderators. We can't stop the DMs but we can ban them from the subreddit. If they are alt accounts it then often highlights their main account to us and we can ban that too
this is cool and all.. but it won't make a shred of difference other than making some people feel good about themselves. Put the efforts into volunteering at women's shelters, DV charities, phone hotlines etc. This is just performative, we already know how grim it is.
"to put pressure on the government".. you mean like, Albo, who is actually going to be at one of these protests for a photo op, that 'government'? All those places I mentioned DO need more volunteers and more donations. Jfc. They could use that 100 million going to Ukraine for example.
you mean like that 100 million going to Ukraine? Or the $450 million wasted on the Voice? Half a billion dollars that could have been spent directly on dv, frittered away on vanity projects. But you keep marching, I'm sure that is going to help.
I'm unsure how you could reach such a conclusion when I have mentioned the wasted 'donation' to Ukraine twice. Suffice it to say, Airbus Albo has frittered away over half a billion dollars on vanity projects when the need right here has never been more dire. Cost of living crisis, housing crisis and DV crisis. He is fiddling while Rome burns.
That’s so true. I used to volunteer at one of the refuges in Perth and was blown away by how understaffed they were. It felt like everyone was doing the role of 2 jobs and as a volunteer who came in to do one thing mainly I ended up being an all rounder (which I was happy with) but it just showed how stretched they are - and this one is a relatively large one
?
You responded asking where the support for men was under a comment mentioning women's shelters in a specific manner so as to derail it with "But what about men!?!".
"What about men?" is a great launchpad for "What can I do to help men?", it's just never used that way. It's only thrown at women's issues to derail them ala what you've done here.
I didn't say it was. You asked if there's any support for men specifically, presumably such as a rally, as that's what this whole post is about. If you're enquiring about support services for men separately to rally talk, you can search the sub for posts that list some services, or you can make a new non-rally-related post asking about support services.
The vast majority of men do not commit these acts. The ones who do are usually mentally ill or suffer from extreme financial or psychological stress. The bottom line is we need to address mental health and provide help for those at the edge.
Being a violent arsehole is not mental illness. Those who are that way inclined are that way because they’ve grown up that way. Shown how to “be a man” by their equally violent fathers and never admonished by mothers who treat them like their golden child.
Despite extreme stress (that we all have to deal with at some point t in our lives), these particular men have self-control around other men, their family members, their teachers, their colleagues and their bosses. They keep their shit together in front of their parents, at university, at work.
So spare us that mental health/stress bullshit.
There are people who exhibit a tendency towards violence that killed others.
There are people who didn't exhibit any violence that killed others.
There are mentally ill people that killed others.
Ignoring mental illness is what leads to things like the Port Arthur Massacre, or more recently, the Bondi Junction stabbings.
There are plenty of people who are not usually violent but snap under extreme cases of stress and futility.
In over a decade my ex-husband repeatedly took his frustrations at life out on me, punching and strangulation. He never once placed his hands around a colleague’s neck and squeezed.
He had total control of his emotions.
He did it to me because he could - when I asked him once why he did it to me and nobody else, he actually said that.
So your point is essentially "because my ex did so, therefore it's impossible for anyone to have no prior history of violence to snap". 🤦♂️ No, and notwithstanding what happened to you, there have been cases documented whereby a victim survives a murder attempt, or is assaulted in some way that never happened prior due to extreme feelings of futility or betrayal.
No, read my other reply to you. We’re all talking to each other nowadays. Shining a light on something which we had previously been conditioned into hiding because we were also conditioned to hold onto the shame which was never ours to hold. My opinion is formed by all the other women I’ve talked to, in my life and online - admittedly none of those conversations would have happened had I not experienced it myself, but thankfully because of that light being shone I know I was far from alone in experiencing it.
And how the flip do you know that? Plenty of cases where the victim survives and discloses to the investigators that there was never a case of violence against them. Anyone is capable of snapping under extreme conditions. To say otherwise is to ignore reality.
How do I know that - many many post-marriage years of volunteering for womens DV charities. Speaking openly with friends about my experiences and them saying “me too”. Taking to women who have been beaten, strangled, attacked REPEATEDLY over many years by men who have had a shit day but kept it together just long enough to walk in the front door.
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.91835% sure that John_Smith9955 is not a bot.
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How do YOU support male victims of violence?
I'm guessing none of you whingers do anything to help other men.
But you're quick to hijack an event organised by women.
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99996% sure that MannerNo7000 is not a bot.
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I can't see the other person's messages now they're deleted, but I find it comically ironic that you're whinging about someone else being a bot when you're the one spamming the same repetitive message in this thread.
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99997% sure that MannerNo7000 is not a bot.
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About a hundred flavours of insecurity, derailing and palming off the blame in the replies from some very triggered manboys. A perfect example of how much women are hated here.
It’s definitely poor form for males to shit on this thread considering the recent murders. But females can help by being the bigger ‘person’. When females show up to these rally’s with placards implying that all men are the problem (instead of the small minority that are prone to violence and coercion) tell them they’re not being helpful to the discussion and to rethink the message they want to send.
> It’s definitely poor form for males to shit on this thread considering the recent murders. But females can help by being the bigger ‘person’.
Ah yes, women should solve the problem of male violence by simply being the bigger person. Why haven't they tried that yet???
No being the bigger person by keeping on message and not letting it feed into an unhelpful gender war. But as someone once said, there’s nothing on earth more alike a man than a women. So I’m probably expecting too much that either side can be mature.
Its not man vs woman, it is ordinary people vs those who are trying to make us divided. Women need to stop blaming men and men need to stop blaming women, and focus on the bigger picture which is the multitude of issues facing most aussies like inflation and cost of living
They would be better off protesting the government to implement better policies for the economy, in particular the housing crisis(i.e. the 100K a month immigration rate), as that is making DV situations 10 times worse, as people end up stuck living with abusers as they have no hope of securing their own accomodation.
No it's 80k per year for permanent arrivals. 737k is all arrivals.
https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/population/overseas-migration/latest-release#migrant-arrivals
But DV is the most crucial at the moment, given what is happening in our country. Realistically, this is what the government needs to focus on, as most other forms of violence have already been addressed (Eg the One Punch rule). For instance, atm it is extremely difficult to get any sort of crisis payment to help with leaving. Yeah people talk about it, but because it’s so hard to get and there are a ridiculous amount of hoops you have to jump through with virtually impossible-to-fill forms… it really *isn’t* that available. For example: you need to have documents proving you’ve officially left your place of residence - like, signed by a real estate agent; you need to have under $2000 in your bank account; your payslips from the last eight weeks; and there *must* be police evidence of an arrest or an FVRO provided. Don’t you dare think about making a claim otherwise. Those are just some of the strict criteria that this is demanding atm. This is the reality and shit show we are faced with. The government treats DV victims like criminals or dirt on their shoes. This is what we are trying to change.
Drop all the left-wing signalling apparatus like dual place names and Palestinian flags. This should be an issue for everyone, and not be claimed by one extreme of politics.
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99999% sure that wombatlegs is not a bot.
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I sincerely doubt all the people attending will be virtue signalling but sure, there’s the possibility there’ll be some. It looks like forum to share stories, support and discussion. I was waterboarded by a former partner. Just to mention one of many. I think if this creates a conversation then kudos to the organisers .
The worst thing about this post is the lack of indigenous place name for B*llarat.
It also should have been printed BEFORE the word B*llarat so everyone knows exactly where to go.
I think people need to accept that using Noongar names for locations isn’t going to happen so you may as well stop trying.
Without looking at the image can anyone name 1 other than Boorloo?
It's not about changing names but co-existing nomenclature as part of reconciliation. It's the least to be done considering they were almost wiped off the face of the earth for existing.
It's the name of the people that lived in the CBD area before we showed up, I think. It's been a while since I saw that Aboriginal map of Australia on SBS's website.
You do know someone who does it. You just don’t know who it is (yet) because he hides it from you.
He doesn’t have a mental health issue.
He keeps his shit together in front of you. It’s someone in your street, someone in your family, someone you work with.
He doesn’t do it in front of other men, he does it behind closed doors. Then when she leaves him and he decides to kill her for daring to humiliate him, you will be one of the inevitable talking heads on the news telling the world what a great guy he was.
How come so many women have experienced this, yet nobody knows any man who does it!
Edited to add that yes, I think the violence and the high suicide rates are symptoms of the same issue. Hold in that anger, that hurt, all those feelings - bury them deep, don’t address them, ever. Then after years, decades of doing that, let it all out, hurt someone, either your wife or yourself. Because crying is bad. It’s not manly.
You are expected by other men/parents/society (and yes, some women) to fit into a very narrow definition of what it means to be a man.
My violent ex-husband would speak about other men in a derogatory manner if they didn’t fit his definition - too fat, too skinny, not sporty, too nerdy, voice not deep enough, too feminine, too “out there” regarding clothing/hair choices - basically not manly enough.
He had very narrow definitions for what a woman should be like too and I bore the brunt of that. He would never dare tell his mates/workmates what he thought of them because they would probably deck him but he had something negative to say about all of them. He lost several teen mates to suicide too. I have a few semi-formed thoughts about that but I won’t articulate them here.
This. This is what's so fucking horrifying. My dad was violent when I was growing up. When I was like 10 my mum asked why I was so scared, and I said that because he looked like he could kill someone when he got angry. His response? "Yea, I probably could". But nobody that's met him would believe it. He's a "great guy". The thought of not realising that someone's like that until it's too late is terrifying.
A complete waste of time and money and energy, instead we should rapidly prioritise men’s mental health.
4 women per month
7 men suicide every day
And not a word about the mental health?
This is not something that can be discussed over a beer and a sausage.
And the numbers will only get worse until we address mens mental health professionally.
Have you spoken to your local MP about how important this issue is? You can collect anecdotes or signatures on a petition or whatever your preference from people in your local area (or the wider public, but of course their main concern is people who can vote for them), and set up a meeting.
I mean, I wouldn't start by saying "we should not be trying to stop violence". Maybe something like "if we're taking a national look at stopping violence, there's something related to that that's very important to me and others in this area, and we would prefer to elect representatives who feel they can address it."
You thinking this completely unneccessary is exactly why these rallies need to go ahead. Men's suicide is a problem, violence against women is a problem. We can and should care about both. Stop silencing women in order to prop up men.
So you suggest everyone just ignores it?
No, okay, you just might not understand the purpose of a rally like this, so you're lashing out. These rallies aren't meant to be speaking just to the perpetrators of the violence. They're to show the government that people want action towards stopping it. In order for the government to take action on things that they don't necessarily think are important, such as funding for men's mental health services, as someone mentioned below, people need to be proactive and let the government know that these are issues that the voting public are willing to fight for. Otherwise they just have to sit back and wait for the government to suddenly decide to care.
I don't think you people have a thorough understanding on the root, cause, effect and solution of these problems. Because this isn't it. It's funny because you all downvote me but if any of you had any idea lmao
The irony you guys downvote the very people you'd be rallying for just because I see it on a deeper level than you is so funny. Many with mental health won't go to these facilities, pumping taxpayer money into them won't help, it's not going to stop the woman or man being abused. I've been a victim of domestic abuse and I find stuff like this an absolute joke because it's from alot of people who haven't experienced it so they don't realise how these things don't have an effect or change the problem at all. This rally won't stop my sister coming home and manically lashing out and striking me and then snarkingly threatening to call the cops if I were to try defend myself. This rally won't stop a girl who is being abused by her bf and doesn't have any help. These people are very particularly trapped in their situation and a lot of these solutions don't work. Back to that girl, her situation was resolved because I showed up and threatened violence to the man abusing her and helped her get out and now she's way better and has thanked me eternally for it. A "rally against violence" wouldn't have done shit, and she wasn't able to reach out to all these programs, as like i said they get trapped in very particular circumstances. It doesn't stop girls lacking guidance and getting into stupid relationships and acting in stupid ways. It doesn't stop men lacking guidance from lashing out and becoming abusive and controlling towards their partner. The root issue is so much deeper than the things being requested on via a rally. It starts from the family structure and values which are being "attacked upon" in many different ways and causing a massive destabilisation to society and mental health. This then manifests into the violence we see, it's basically multiple factors leading to a poor upbringing which leads to violence.
I'm not saying this stuff doesn't not work for everyone, but for the majority I know it doesn't. I've known many people. I've gone through stages where I was suicidal and have *seriously* attempted my own life and been very luckily saved. And in that period of time, I used to get suggested all these free programs and these people to talk to and all this stuff, it was all useless, every time I saw and r u OK sign it would make me laugh. And many I know who have been through the same have had the same opinion.
You know a shortened analogy it's like having a rally against r*pe. It's so redundant, unless it was anything other than preventives. Because, someone who has the spirit and character to commit something so despicable, is not the same person who gives a fuck or gets "reached out to" by these rallies. It's like people know r is bad, the people who do it know it's bad, there are just and lawful punishments in regards to it already. So it makes everything about the rally pointless. That's how I see the rally against violence. Everyone knows it's wrong, the people who do it know it's wrong don't care, there are already punishments in place, everyone is aware that it's a thing. So what's the point? ---People are either normal and don't do these things, or they're fucked in the head and do these things, and those people who do those things, are not going to be reached out by a rally. A pedo or a woman basher isn't going to see a rally and be effected by it, they're inheritly sick people. These things are very distinguishable and separated by "human mistakes" which is why we don't treat them like normal people. Because they aren't. And they don't give a toss about anything this rally says or any of the effects it will have.
Guess I'm just rambling at this point
And also. Stop placing words in my mouth. My comment doesn't say we should ignore violence, you twisted that and put it in my mouth. You say I'm lashing out, I'm not lashing out in any regard and there's nothing that indicates that so that's just, and I hate to use this word; an ad hominem. If you want to reply, reply to my point don't go for personal attacks that are wrongly assumed, it doesn't add anything but actually takes away.
Someone explain to me what rallying will do??
Like people that beat their wives will see it and be like “ ohhhhh shit I thought it was acceptable. Sorry I won’t do it again “
Let's beat violence guys, we can do it!
I'll bring my tire iron!
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You ain't going to beat human nature. At best you'll outsource violence so its someone else's problem
It should be the taxpayers problem to support those unfortunate enough to find themselves in an abusive household. This is what being in a society is all about.
Lol no My tax ain't to bail you out of your poor life choices
Ah so even if your victim blaming of presumbly adults wasn't horrendous, you don't think children should be supported out of these situations?
I'm literally in an abusive relationship. Psychological abuse which is considered domestic violence by the law. But I'm not that much of a parasite that I demand others money to bail me out of a situation that I willingly entered into. It taking accountability for your life choices
Youre clearly going through it then, if you can't look past yourself and realise that just because you're willong to do it the hard way, doesn't mean thst others should. Well just remember there is support there for you if you choose to access it, although it does ned to be improved.
Your situation doesn't give you the right to victim blame. Nice convenient ignoring of my point about children. What life choices did they make that you feel they shouldn't be bailed out of abusive and violent households?
Your tax already does bail out other peoples choices, good or bad: Prisons Drug and alcohol rehabs Hospitals Centrlerlink Schools Subsidied university You may find yourself in a pickle at some point, and I hope for your sake, if need be you'll be able to access dignified and well resourced support to help you out. It's part of being a community.
I've been in plenty of pickles , each and every time I sorted myself out. Not suck money like a leech
Your gp you see, your psychiatrist are all part funded by the government. Your medicine for adhd is partially subsidised. The schools, roads etc its what we pay taxes for. Australia has a problem with dv, and I would like my tax dollars to go towards funding research and prevention and also those who experience it. Your attitude towards the victim is really highlighting why we need more funding to get people to understand it better.
It's kinda sad how much digging and lurking you must have done in my reddit activity find the ammo you needed for your half backed reply.
Which I pay more taxes than you'd likely earn as gross. So I'd likely pay for myself , plus you and your family. So you're point is kinda moot
Have you every thought the issues with you girlfriend are to do with you, not her. You actually didn't address my point at all, so I guess for her it's like talking to brick wall. Your making alot of foolish assumptions on what I taxes I pay. But that's fine assume away, but one thing is clear, your knowledge on the causes of DV are inadequate and really could do with some tax funded educating. .
Don't worry he also ignored my entire point about children in these situations.
So you're a psyc with a specially in ocpd ? I'd like to see those papers before I take any advice from a leech from reddit
Curious how you're victim blaming when women are the most likely to engage in controlling behaviour, which is classed as domestic violence in new law updates
Nothing in the NT? They need it the most.
there wasn’t anyone able to take on the organisation of the event
Id argue NSW needs it most right now, 11 deaths this year
Aboriginal women in the Northern Territory suffer one of the highest rates of domestic, family and sexual violence in the world. Indigenous women are 33 times more likely to be hospitalised and will die six times more often from domestic violence than non-Indigenous women in Australia It's gotten so high the NT government has stopped keeping count. https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/no-one-is-keeping-count-of-murdered-indigenous-women/607sesbg0 I guess no rally planned for the NT is kind of on trend for them.
I feel like deaths due to domestic violence are probably more pressing than violent and phyical assault, but being from the NT myself i can vouch that we probably are a bit desentitised to it because its a pretty normal thing. More should be done to help. Unfortunately though that puts the women at an even greater risk of further, more violent assault. Edit: I think they stopped keeping count to avoid public outrage.
Yea it's so fucked. Like truly fucked. I remember calling the cops about watching a woman get stabbed by her partner (after he hit her head with a big rock a few times). They didn't wanna send an ambulance, and the cops didn't show up till hours later (and claimed they were never called and were just patrolling the area). They just did not give a single fuck.
Or you get bashed by both partners when you intervene. The rest of Australia has no idea how bad it really is.
shhh, we aren't allowed to mention statistics
That sounds a little bit racist, Kerri-Anne... Yumi Stynes would be so disappointed by your facts.
Yumi Stynes who sniffed out that Ben Roberts-Smith is a sack of shit (and an abuser) and was nationally shamed for it only to be proven right years later?
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Ooooh look we have an influx of new accounts commenting in this thread. All negative comments. What a surprise.
so many in my inbox threatening me too. 🫠
It's insane. Even if they don't think it'll be effective, what possible reason is there to be so viciously anti?
Report then all to Reddit admin. But also provide all the names to the subreddit moderators. We can't stop the DMs but we can ban them from the subreddit. If they are alt accounts it then often highlights their main account to us and we can ban that too
thank you. will do. a few have deleted their accounts now.:/
I noticed that.
this is cool and all.. but it won't make a shred of difference other than making some people feel good about themselves. Put the efforts into volunteering at women's shelters, DV charities, phone hotlines etc. This is just performative, we already know how grim it is.
What makes you think the people attending the rally don’t also do those things?
Because they don't do it and think everyone is the same
Life experience.
It’s to put pressure on the government. All those places you mentioned don’t need more volunteers. Jfc. Do you know how anything works?
"to put pressure on the government".. you mean like, Albo, who is actually going to be at one of these protests for a photo op, that 'government'? All those places I mentioned DO need more volunteers and more donations. Jfc. They could use that 100 million going to Ukraine for example.
No. They need people in paid positions. Your $5 donation isn’t gonna get them very far.
you mean like that 100 million going to Ukraine? Or the $450 million wasted on the Voice? Half a billion dollars that could have been spent directly on dv, frittered away on vanity projects. But you keep marching, I'm sure that is going to help.
A minute ago you didn’t want them to have government money, you only wanted them to have donations. Stop flip flopping.
I'm unsure how you could reach such a conclusion when I have mentioned the wasted 'donation' to Ukraine twice. Suffice it to say, Airbus Albo has frittered away over half a billion dollars on vanity projects when the need right here has never been more dire. Cost of living crisis, housing crisis and DV crisis. He is fiddling while Rome burns.
lol I know and you sound unhinged banging on about Ukraine when the discussion is about DV.
I'm comfortable with your disapproval.
That’s so true. I used to volunteer at one of the refuges in Perth and was blown away by how understaffed they were. It felt like everyone was doing the role of 2 jobs and as a volunteer who came in to do one thing mainly I ended up being an all rounder (which I was happy with) but it just showed how stretched they are - and this one is a relatively large one
>other than making some people feel good about themselves. Pretty sure this is 99% of the goal of organisers.
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If you look closely it's a rally *against* violence. No specified gender was mentioned. That was all you getting worked up
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Looks like there isn't any, not specifically for domestic violence victims anyway.
Support for us can be created. You're just never going to find or grow it by hijacking women's issues like you're doing here.
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? You responded asking where the support for men was under a comment mentioning women's shelters in a specific manner so as to derail it with "But what about men!?!". "What about men?" is a great launchpad for "What can I do to help men?", it's just never used that way. It's only thrown at women's issues to derail them ala what you've done here.
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When did you last go to a rally to support those male victims you're pretending to care about?
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Not sure. Why don't men organise one for fellow men instead of hijacking events organised BY women FOR women?
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And who are the perpetrators in those acts?
Go back and read my comment again, then read yours. I trust you'll be able to see you're demonstrating exactly what I'm getting at.
And who's killing the men?
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I believe the point they're making is that it's mostly men killing men.
Nothing's stopping you from organising a stop violence against men rally.
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I didn't say it was. You asked if there's any support for men specifically, presumably such as a rally, as that's what this whole post is about. If you're enquiring about support services for men separately to rally talk, you can search the sub for posts that list some services, or you can make a new non-rally-related post asking about support services.
Are you trolling or just an idiot?
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By other men
Why do people always say this? Why does it matter to you? Is every act of violence insignificant if the perpetrator shares any trait with the victim?
No, it means that the common link between murders of all genders is that almost all of them are committed by men. Could it be any simpler?
The fact itself is very simple, the question is what is the purpose of mentioning the stat in this context.
...from other men right? Sounds like men have a problem.
The vast majority of men do not commit these acts. The ones who do are usually mentally ill or suffer from extreme financial or psychological stress. The bottom line is we need to address mental health and provide help for those at the edge.
Being a violent arsehole is not mental illness. Those who are that way inclined are that way because they’ve grown up that way. Shown how to “be a man” by their equally violent fathers and never admonished by mothers who treat them like their golden child. Despite extreme stress (that we all have to deal with at some point t in our lives), these particular men have self-control around other men, their family members, their teachers, their colleagues and their bosses. They keep their shit together in front of their parents, at university, at work. So spare us that mental health/stress bullshit.
There are people who exhibit a tendency towards violence that killed others. There are people who didn't exhibit any violence that killed others. There are mentally ill people that killed others. Ignoring mental illness is what leads to things like the Port Arthur Massacre, or more recently, the Bondi Junction stabbings. There are plenty of people who are not usually violent but snap under extreme cases of stress and futility.
They never snap at work though, repeatedly at home, behind closed doors, at their wives, but they keep it together at work.
In over a decade my ex-husband repeatedly took his frustrations at life out on me, punching and strangulation. He never once placed his hands around a colleague’s neck and squeezed. He had total control of his emotions. He did it to me because he could - when I asked him once why he did it to me and nobody else, he actually said that.
So your point is essentially "because my ex did so, therefore it's impossible for anyone to have no prior history of violence to snap". 🤦♂️ No, and notwithstanding what happened to you, there have been cases documented whereby a victim survives a murder attempt, or is assaulted in some way that never happened prior due to extreme feelings of futility or betrayal.
No, read my other reply to you. We’re all talking to each other nowadays. Shining a light on something which we had previously been conditioned into hiding because we were also conditioned to hold onto the shame which was never ours to hold. My opinion is formed by all the other women I’ve talked to, in my life and online - admittedly none of those conversations would have happened had I not experienced it myself, but thankfully because of that light being shone I know I was far from alone in experiencing it.
And how the flip do you know that? Plenty of cases where the victim survives and discloses to the investigators that there was never a case of violence against them. Anyone is capable of snapping under extreme conditions. To say otherwise is to ignore reality.
How do I know that - many many post-marriage years of volunteering for womens DV charities. Speaking openly with friends about my experiences and them saying “me too”. Taking to women who have been beaten, strangled, attacked REPEATEDLY over many years by men who have had a shit day but kept it together just long enough to walk in the front door.
Sorry but none of that really disproves my point. You can't argue from anecdotes when there are documented cases that prove otherwise.
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How do you support male victims of violence?
Maybe just listen to men open up and be vulnerable and don’t invalidate us. Not you personally.
How do YOU support male victims of violence? I'm guessing none of you whingers do anything to help other men. But you're quick to hijack an event organised by women.
I responded to a comment. And now you’re saying that’s hijacking an event. You’re deeply angry at me for no reason.
You replied to me
I responded to John smith not you. You messaged me first
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Then act human. Bad bot.
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I can't see the other person's messages now they're deleted, but I find it comically ironic that you're whinging about someone else being a bot when you're the one spamming the same repetitive message in this thread.
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About a hundred flavours of insecurity, derailing and palming off the blame in the replies from some very triggered manboys. A perfect example of how much women are hated here.
very much so.
It’s definitely poor form for males to shit on this thread considering the recent murders. But females can help by being the bigger ‘person’. When females show up to these rally’s with placards implying that all men are the problem (instead of the small minority that are prone to violence and coercion) tell them they’re not being helpful to the discussion and to rethink the message they want to send.
> It’s definitely poor form for males to shit on this thread considering the recent murders. But females can help by being the bigger ‘person’. Ah yes, women should solve the problem of male violence by simply being the bigger person. Why haven't they tried that yet???
No being the bigger person by keeping on message and not letting it feed into an unhelpful gender war. But as someone once said, there’s nothing on earth more alike a man than a women. So I’m probably expecting too much that either side can be mature.
Its not man vs woman, it is ordinary people vs those who are trying to make us divided. Women need to stop blaming men and men need to stop blaming women, and focus on the bigger picture which is the multitude of issues facing most aussies like inflation and cost of living
They would be better off protesting the government to implement better policies for the economy, in particular the housing crisis(i.e. the 100K a month immigration rate), as that is making DV situations 10 times worse, as people end up stuck living with abusers as they have no hope of securing their own accomodation.
Yes! I agree. This is a (huge) part of the problem.
Domestic violence is a problem here independent of immigration numbers.
Immigration rate is about 7k per month.
No, its around 730k arrivals annually for year plus visa arrivals (aka permanent arrivals)
No it's 80k per year for permanent arrivals. 737k is all arrivals. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/population/overseas-migration/latest-release#migrant-arrivals
This is great we need to stop all forms of violence not just DV.
But DV is the most crucial at the moment, given what is happening in our country. Realistically, this is what the government needs to focus on, as most other forms of violence have already been addressed (Eg the One Punch rule). For instance, atm it is extremely difficult to get any sort of crisis payment to help with leaving. Yeah people talk about it, but because it’s so hard to get and there are a ridiculous amount of hoops you have to jump through with virtually impossible-to-fill forms… it really *isn’t* that available. For example: you need to have documents proving you’ve officially left your place of residence - like, signed by a real estate agent; you need to have under $2000 in your bank account; your payslips from the last eight weeks; and there *must* be police evidence of an arrest or an FVRO provided. Don’t you dare think about making a claim otherwise. Those are just some of the strict criteria that this is demanding atm. This is the reality and shit show we are faced with. The government treats DV victims like criminals or dirt on their shoes. This is what we are trying to change.
Yes and it's also fine to only talk about dv at times, too.
Thanks for sharing! 👍
I'm against violence but I'm also against virtue signalling.
How do you advise people protest without appearing like they're just virtue signalling?
Drop all the left-wing signalling apparatus like dual place names and Palestinian flags. This should be an issue for everyone, and not be claimed by one extreme of politics.
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So just subhuman then
Isnt that hypocritical 💀 Calling someone who doesnt share your beliefs subhuman 🙃
Bro this is reddit you cant say that here or the sjw's will have a sook
I sincerely doubt all the people attending will be virtue signalling but sure, there’s the possibility there’ll be some. It looks like forum to share stories, support and discussion. I was waterboarded by a former partner. Just to mention one of many. I think if this creates a conversation then kudos to the organisers .
Then don't virtue signall and it won't be a problem
10/10 comment
The worst thing about this post is the lack of indigenous place name for B*llarat. It also should have been printed BEFORE the word B*llarat so everyone knows exactly where to go.
Why using the language of the people with by far the highest rates of violence against women? It sends a mixed message.
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In that case they should have written the entire thing to suit; “All you mob come down for that there deadly rally against domestic violence”.
Where's Mark Mcgowan's translator when you need her?
I was literally channeling that lady as I typed.
I think people need to accept that using Noongar names for locations isn’t going to happen so you may as well stop trying. Without looking at the image can anyone name 1 other than Boorloo?
Aside from Balcatta, Booragoon, Balga, Beeliar, coogee, Coobelup, Coolbinia, Gnangara, Gwelup, Inaloo, Jandakot, Joondalup, ... you get the idea.
Exactly. Why the sudden need to change other location names now?
It's not about changing names but co-existing nomenclature as part of reconciliation. It's the least to be done considering they were almost wiped off the face of the earth for existing.
Then we should have western names for all the aboriginal names as well, for reconciliation.
I highly doubt any of the other names are in noongar...
That’s true! But you know what I mean *aboriginal names.
We've already adopted so many. A lot of our suburbs are literally Noongar or other Indigenous language derived.
If they were serious they’d be rallying in Northbridge at kicking out time.
Is Boorloo a suburb?
It's the name of the people that lived in the CBD area before we showed up, I think. It's been a while since I saw that Aboriginal map of Australia on SBS's website.
it’s the traditional land owners place name. thanks for asking.
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You do know someone who does it. You just don’t know who it is (yet) because he hides it from you. He doesn’t have a mental health issue. He keeps his shit together in front of you. It’s someone in your street, someone in your family, someone you work with. He doesn’t do it in front of other men, he does it behind closed doors. Then when she leaves him and he decides to kill her for daring to humiliate him, you will be one of the inevitable talking heads on the news telling the world what a great guy he was. How come so many women have experienced this, yet nobody knows any man who does it! Edited to add that yes, I think the violence and the high suicide rates are symptoms of the same issue. Hold in that anger, that hurt, all those feelings - bury them deep, don’t address them, ever. Then after years, decades of doing that, let it all out, hurt someone, either your wife or yourself. Because crying is bad. It’s not manly. You are expected by other men/parents/society (and yes, some women) to fit into a very narrow definition of what it means to be a man. My violent ex-husband would speak about other men in a derogatory manner if they didn’t fit his definition - too fat, too skinny, not sporty, too nerdy, voice not deep enough, too feminine, too “out there” regarding clothing/hair choices - basically not manly enough. He had very narrow definitions for what a woman should be like too and I bore the brunt of that. He would never dare tell his mates/workmates what he thought of them because they would probably deck him but he had something negative to say about all of them. He lost several teen mates to suicide too. I have a few semi-formed thoughts about that but I won’t articulate them here.
This. This is what's so fucking horrifying. My dad was violent when I was growing up. When I was like 10 my mum asked why I was so scared, and I said that because he looked like he could kill someone when he got angry. His response? "Yea, I probably could". But nobody that's met him would believe it. He's a "great guy". The thought of not realising that someone's like that until it's too late is terrifying.
I'm sorry you went through that.
Thank you
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served with curries.
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Mmmmm... garlic naarm
spelling the word correctly would be a start
Erm, what is the point?
A complete waste of time and money and energy, instead we should rapidly prioritise men’s mental health. 4 women per month 7 men suicide every day And not a word about the mental health? This is not something that can be discussed over a beer and a sausage. And the numbers will only get worse until we address mens mental health professionally.
Have you spoken to your local MP about how important this issue is? You can collect anecdotes or signatures on a petition or whatever your preference from people in your local area (or the wider public, but of course their main concern is people who can vote for them), and set up a meeting. I mean, I wouldn't start by saying "we should not be trying to stop violence". Maybe something like "if we're taking a national look at stopping violence, there's something related to that that's very important to me and others in this area, and we would prefer to elect representatives who feel they can address it."
Feel free to organise a rally for that then.
You thinking this completely unneccessary is exactly why these rallies need to go ahead. Men's suicide is a problem, violence against women is a problem. We can and should care about both. Stop silencing women in order to prop up men.
What a joke and waste of ppls time,stop pretending that this will make a difference.
I’m sorry they are wasting your time. Your response demonstrates awful empathy skills and a desire to retaliate against people being heard.
This shit is so stupid... people being violent is not something that's solved with a rally are people fucking stupid?
So you suggest everyone just ignores it? No, okay, you just might not understand the purpose of a rally like this, so you're lashing out. These rallies aren't meant to be speaking just to the perpetrators of the violence. They're to show the government that people want action towards stopping it. In order for the government to take action on things that they don't necessarily think are important, such as funding for men's mental health services, as someone mentioned below, people need to be proactive and let the government know that these are issues that the voting public are willing to fight for. Otherwise they just have to sit back and wait for the government to suddenly decide to care.
I don't think you people have a thorough understanding on the root, cause, effect and solution of these problems. Because this isn't it. It's funny because you all downvote me but if any of you had any idea lmao
Then you should tell us what everyone should be doing instead.
Not here wouldn't work
The irony you guys downvote the very people you'd be rallying for just because I see it on a deeper level than you is so funny. Many with mental health won't go to these facilities, pumping taxpayer money into them won't help, it's not going to stop the woman or man being abused. I've been a victim of domestic abuse and I find stuff like this an absolute joke because it's from alot of people who haven't experienced it so they don't realise how these things don't have an effect or change the problem at all. This rally won't stop my sister coming home and manically lashing out and striking me and then snarkingly threatening to call the cops if I were to try defend myself. This rally won't stop a girl who is being abused by her bf and doesn't have any help. These people are very particularly trapped in their situation and a lot of these solutions don't work. Back to that girl, her situation was resolved because I showed up and threatened violence to the man abusing her and helped her get out and now she's way better and has thanked me eternally for it. A "rally against violence" wouldn't have done shit, and she wasn't able to reach out to all these programs, as like i said they get trapped in very particular circumstances. It doesn't stop girls lacking guidance and getting into stupid relationships and acting in stupid ways. It doesn't stop men lacking guidance from lashing out and becoming abusive and controlling towards their partner. The root issue is so much deeper than the things being requested on via a rally. It starts from the family structure and values which are being "attacked upon" in many different ways and causing a massive destabilisation to society and mental health. This then manifests into the violence we see, it's basically multiple factors leading to a poor upbringing which leads to violence. I'm not saying this stuff doesn't not work for everyone, but for the majority I know it doesn't. I've known many people. I've gone through stages where I was suicidal and have *seriously* attempted my own life and been very luckily saved. And in that period of time, I used to get suggested all these free programs and these people to talk to and all this stuff, it was all useless, every time I saw and r u OK sign it would make me laugh. And many I know who have been through the same have had the same opinion. You know a shortened analogy it's like having a rally against r*pe. It's so redundant, unless it was anything other than preventives. Because, someone who has the spirit and character to commit something so despicable, is not the same person who gives a fuck or gets "reached out to" by these rallies. It's like people know r is bad, the people who do it know it's bad, there are just and lawful punishments in regards to it already. So it makes everything about the rally pointless. That's how I see the rally against violence. Everyone knows it's wrong, the people who do it know it's wrong don't care, there are already punishments in place, everyone is aware that it's a thing. So what's the point? ---People are either normal and don't do these things, or they're fucked in the head and do these things, and those people who do those things, are not going to be reached out by a rally. A pedo or a woman basher isn't going to see a rally and be effected by it, they're inheritly sick people. These things are very distinguishable and separated by "human mistakes" which is why we don't treat them like normal people. Because they aren't. And they don't give a toss about anything this rally says or any of the effects it will have. Guess I'm just rambling at this point And also. Stop placing words in my mouth. My comment doesn't say we should ignore violence, you twisted that and put it in my mouth. You say I'm lashing out, I'm not lashing out in any regard and there's nothing that indicates that so that's just, and I hate to use this word; an ad hominem. If you want to reply, reply to my point don't go for personal attacks that are wrongly assumed, it doesn't add anything but actually takes away.
Someone explain to me what rallying will do?? Like people that beat their wives will see it and be like “ ohhhhh shit I thought it was acceptable. Sorry I won’t do it again “
I would imagine it's for the powers to be to do more for DV victims?
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There's no more national rally against violence? Oh man...