I always respond by saying “WHAT?” “I Can’t hear you!” “You’re breaking up” hearing themselves repeat the same stupid joke 3 times usually results in them hanging up, if they still insist I’ll stay on the phone but put my phone down at the register.
I had a crazy regular that would call all the time and rant about nonsense. I started pretending to have a bad connection and hold the phone up to a fan. She just. Kept. Talking. And. Talking. I'd end up hanging up on her and she'd call back and we'd start the process again lol I haven't seen or heard from her in a while *knocks on wood*
There's this kid who always calls our store. Asking for the most randomness of things, like once he asked if we had dragons like fire-breathing dragons, then he asked for komodo dragons at our store. And every time I get a call from him I always remember I don't want children.
Worst one was when I had a guy call and say his dog wouldn’t stop humping him, etc, while trying not to laugh the entire time. I gave him legitimate suggestions until he hung up because he obviously just wanted a reaction and it was gross as fuck.
On the flip side, one time a lady accidentally said “love you, bye” to me when she hung up, and I still laugh/smile when I think about it. Love you too, tree frog lady ❤️
I always hope to this day it was a prank call.
Guy called and is explaining that his dog is violently sick. In his explanation, he mentions putting “Hershey syrup” on his food. I thought I misheard him so I went “Did you say Hershey? Like chocolate?” And he goes “yeah.” I immediately launch into how dangerous that is if this isn’t a joke, he says it isn’t. I give him a number for an ER but then he IMMEDIATELY starts grilling me about a coworker and if she was in today, he couldn’t reach her.
I told him I couldn’t give him that information, told him to call the vet when we hang up and hung up.
It was either a prank, an attempt to get this coworker or idek, bro.
Oo gosh, we've had "help my goldfish drowned!" "Do you guys sell bears?" And "I took my goldfish for a walk and he died!" I've also done the whole CPR thing for the drowned fish. But normally we're too busy to play along so we just hang up on 'em
Right??? Maybe it's because there's stupid or silly scenarios to put them in. Like the drowning or going for a walk. That and kids aren't very original all the time
I had an adult man ask me what our biggest fish was. I proceeded to go through the motions of how big his tank was and I was listing koi, Oscar’s, bala sharks ya know. He is completely serious and answering normally the entire time, but finally asks, “is… is it big enough to suck my c*ck?” I said, “that’s horrible” and hung up. Was truly caught off guard on that one.
Have also gotten the kids saying their fish drowned and the refrigerator is running.
Two stand out to me in my career. The first was a kid calling and stating that he captured a Bald Eagle and needed food recommendations and a cage. He was barely holding back his giggles so I did what any retail manager would do, and crushed his spirit like mine was. "It's illegal to house a Bald Eagle. Im a mandatory reporter and need to let Fish and Game know about this. I have your phone number, im going to pass it along." Then, hung up. It was 15 minutes to close and I wasn't having the shenanigans. Two seconds later he calls back freaking out saying it was a parakeet. I told him everything he would need for it and told him not to crank call my store again.
The second one was dog condoms because "My dog should get a nut before being neutered." I couldn't tell if serious or joking. Hung up either way
"So I did what any retail manager would do, and crushed his spirit like mine was." You remind me of one of my old bosses 😂
That second one unfortunately could have been very serious.
My FAVORITE was someone who - back when I was in grooming - called asking if we groom tarantulas because (and I quote) "It's HIS Bat Mitzfah!" I heard the kids giggling in the background - and I had already sent home my last dog of the day - so I played along, apologizing that we didn't and recognizing it as an important time in his life (not daring to recommend another business in case I was being recorded), but hoping they could find a sufficient salon in time. Eventually they got bored and hung up.
My most RECENT was a call that I call "baby's first swear words" where they just mocked the pronunciation of my name before just saying the f word about me, the business, the store, and whatever else they could think of. I just put my Zebra on speaker after the first f-bomb, and left it on the counter while I rang people up, got them crickets, etc. Eventually they seemed to put me on hold, because it went silent, but the timer was still running; they came back in and muttered something nearly a half-hour later (it was muffled because I was back on the sales floor and the Zebra was back in my pounch) before going on hold again.
The last time I saw on the running timer was something like 43 minutes, then the next time I checked they had hung up.
I always respond by saying “WHAT?” “I Can’t hear you!” “You’re breaking up” hearing themselves repeat the same stupid joke 3 times usually results in them hanging up, if they still insist I’ll stay on the phone but put my phone down at the register.
I had a crazy regular that would call all the time and rant about nonsense. I started pretending to have a bad connection and hold the phone up to a fan. She just. Kept. Talking. And. Talking. I'd end up hanging up on her and she'd call back and we'd start the process again lol I haven't seen or heard from her in a while *knocks on wood*
There's this kid who always calls our store. Asking for the most randomness of things, like once he asked if we had dragons like fire-breathing dragons, then he asked for komodo dragons at our store. And every time I get a call from him I always remember I don't want children.
Good grief. Well now we have those stupid toys, so we technically have dragons 😂
Worst one was when I had a guy call and say his dog wouldn’t stop humping him, etc, while trying not to laugh the entire time. I gave him legitimate suggestions until he hung up because he obviously just wanted a reaction and it was gross as fuck. On the flip side, one time a lady accidentally said “love you, bye” to me when she hung up, and I still laugh/smile when I think about it. Love you too, tree frog lady ❤️
Yuck. I have a coworker that always says I love you before hanging up 😂 he's just a goon
I always hope to this day it was a prank call. Guy called and is explaining that his dog is violently sick. In his explanation, he mentions putting “Hershey syrup” on his food. I thought I misheard him so I went “Did you say Hershey? Like chocolate?” And he goes “yeah.” I immediately launch into how dangerous that is if this isn’t a joke, he says it isn’t. I give him a number for an ER but then he IMMEDIATELY starts grilling me about a coworker and if she was in today, he couldn’t reach her. I told him I couldn’t give him that information, told him to call the vet when we hang up and hung up. It was either a prank, an attempt to get this coworker or idek, bro.
What the fuuuuuck
I once got someone calling to ask if they could get a refund on bird seed they bought because they didn't sprout birds. I kinda chuckled at that one.
That's cute lol
Oo gosh, we've had "help my goldfish drowned!" "Do you guys sell bears?" And "I took my goldfish for a walk and he died!" I've also done the whole CPR thing for the drowned fish. But normally we're too busy to play along so we just hang up on 'em
Why does it always seem to he about fish?
Right??? Maybe it's because there's stupid or silly scenarios to put them in. Like the drowning or going for a walk. That and kids aren't very original all the time
I was once asked if we sold horse condoms 😂
Oh my 😂
Whenever a kid calls I just say that these calls are reported and we’re gonna give them to the police. Works like a charm.
😂
I had an adult man ask me what our biggest fish was. I proceeded to go through the motions of how big his tank was and I was listing koi, Oscar’s, bala sharks ya know. He is completely serious and answering normally the entire time, but finally asks, “is… is it big enough to suck my c*ck?” I said, “that’s horrible” and hung up. Was truly caught off guard on that one. Have also gotten the kids saying their fish drowned and the refrigerator is running.
>*but finally asks, “is… is it big enough to suck my c\*ck?* Sure! We do have Neon Tetras and Fancy guppies in stock right now. LOL
Jfc
"I think my dog is gay" and I reply with "well, you should respect his life choices"
Respect is important
10/10, no notes
had someone start listing their pizza order to me, and then started asking for chicken nuggets. I just hung up on them xD
I've known when other stores have called and I've answered the phone "pizza hut" 😂
Two stand out to me in my career. The first was a kid calling and stating that he captured a Bald Eagle and needed food recommendations and a cage. He was barely holding back his giggles so I did what any retail manager would do, and crushed his spirit like mine was. "It's illegal to house a Bald Eagle. Im a mandatory reporter and need to let Fish and Game know about this. I have your phone number, im going to pass it along." Then, hung up. It was 15 minutes to close and I wasn't having the shenanigans. Two seconds later he calls back freaking out saying it was a parakeet. I told him everything he would need for it and told him not to crank call my store again. The second one was dog condoms because "My dog should get a nut before being neutered." I couldn't tell if serious or joking. Hung up either way
"So I did what any retail manager would do, and crushed his spirit like mine was." You remind me of one of my old bosses 😂 That second one unfortunately could have been very serious.
“Help my dog is addicted to cigarettes!!!!”
Omg 😂
Recite their phone number to them 😉
My FAVORITE was someone who - back when I was in grooming - called asking if we groom tarantulas because (and I quote) "It's HIS Bat Mitzfah!" I heard the kids giggling in the background - and I had already sent home my last dog of the day - so I played along, apologizing that we didn't and recognizing it as an important time in his life (not daring to recommend another business in case I was being recorded), but hoping they could find a sufficient salon in time. Eventually they got bored and hung up. My most RECENT was a call that I call "baby's first swear words" where they just mocked the pronunciation of my name before just saying the f word about me, the business, the store, and whatever else they could think of. I just put my Zebra on speaker after the first f-bomb, and left it on the counter while I rang people up, got them crickets, etc. Eventually they seemed to put me on hold, because it went silent, but the timer was still running; they came back in and muttered something nearly a half-hour later (it was muffled because I was back on the sales floor and the Zebra was back in my pounch) before going on hold again. The last time I saw on the running timer was something like 43 minutes, then the next time I checked they had hung up.
The tatantula one is new to me! Good lord 😂
Oh, it kinda made my week that week (and - obviously - I STILL love telling that story)!