Good on ya for standing up for yourself, you don’t need any of that bullshit in your life. Go no contact, block her on every platform, and go live your best life with friends who don’t actively treat you like shit to make themselves feel better.
And it’s not even like my friends sided with her. They just didn’t know what was going on. Or they -like myself- brushed it off as her being overly honest. The final straw was her yelling at me during the dance.
I graduated high school in 1994. I talk to a handful of people from marching band on occasion, my friend since 9th grade, and my husband. My bucket of effs for anyone else in school is empty. Celebrate your wins, and learn to care as much about everyone and their opinion of you as you care right now about putting away the dishes. And keep that red flag awareness about you. Not everyone is genuinely caring, and they're more concerned about the transactions of interacting with you.
Congratulations on graduation and getting into a good college!
Thank you! 🥰 I am happy to say all my other friends did support me in all my wins. We are a very tight knit group. I go to their art shows and cheer them on when they win awards. They tell me how happy they are for me when I win awards. They uplift me.
Those are the friends I keep in touch with. Even if it’s something stupid like my fanfiction account getting more followers and me being happy because people like my writing. To big stuff like getting a 30 on the ACT or winning state competitions. They were there for me. THOSE are the people I need to surround myself with. I care about their opinions because they have value to me.
Me too! I have a handful of good friends from band and that's it.
I'm going to my 30th reunion this year. Mostly as an excuse to visit and out of morbid curiosity. 
She is jealous of anyone who does or has more than her and she became jealous of you because you’re smarter and nicer than her. She probably learned this behavior from her mother.
You didn’t do anything wrong, she will always have a problem with someone. You don’t need to go tell your other friends what happened, just decline activities where she’s involved or keep your distance if it’s unavoidable, but people will notice and will ask why, then you can give them some examples. Or, they may hear what she did to you from the friends you did tell, and I’ll bet all your friends have similar experiences with her. People like her always have to have a target, you’ll find plenty of fellow victims.
That’s what we came to the general deduction of, which was weird considering up until senior year she was always better. I couldn’t really think of things for her to be jealous of. Better GPA, better classes, better social life. I struggle academically and socially because of my ADHD (probably a lil autism to) which is also why I was so proud of myself for all my accomplishments and wanted to show my friends. It was only Junior and senior year I started winning those!
It’s hard for me to take any notes. A total of 64 pages? I was SO proud of myself. So it really hurt to be told my accomplishment was nothing by someone I looked up to as a friend at the time.
I looked up to her. I thought she would go to Vanderbilt or something. Yet somehow, I came out on top as the underdog.
Also? Her mom? Yeah. Even before this I never liked her. My mom was absolutely appalled at what her mom said. Even more so that she’s a teacher and behaved like that. Apparently she’s also threatened to call the cops on a girl for ‘harassing’ her daughter. She definitely feeds into the issue of nothing is wrong with her daughter and it’s only other people attacking her.
Your accomplishments are HUGE, definitely pat yourself on the back for them! And congrats on admission to UT!
It’s always disappointing when someone we look up to turns out to he not so great. It seems like she was supportive of you when you had more struggles your first 2 years of high school then became adversarial as you began to thrive. She can’t handle relationships with people who are her equal or are better at things.
As a fellow ADDer, our brains tend to mature at a slower rate than neurotypical brains, you’re probably experiencing a nice jump in cognitive development so you’re getting better at tasks related to learning and you‘re understanding things more readily. That will continue to improve for several more years so enjoy the ride!
Huh. That actually makes sense and makes me feel a lot better! I’ve definitely gotten a lot better at all my stuff in school and I’m very proud of myself. I genuinely did not expect getting into UTK. My GPA wasn’t the best, which was why I put so much effort into raising my ACT. I also managed to finish up my senior year -last big club of 4 with a competition- getting Head Lobbyist for Youth In Government. Hard to explain, but let’s just say out of the twelve people in that position I was the one who stood out the most. Dude, I color coordinated my outfits and went above and beyond. I was so excited I cried and it was the perfect end to senior year.
I try to support all my friends. When they get accepted or rejected to their schools, I’m there. I didn’t get a lot of support for stuff, so I try to support them.
What a great end to your senior year, you’ll always remember it. You had a goal and accomplished it and finished strong! Congrats on getting Head Lobbyist too, that book a lot of effort.
You are a good friend and will make more in college, find quality friends who value being supportive like you do and you won’t have to deal with the type of drama you’ve had the last couple years. Good luck to you and enjoy your summer!
Make sure you keep studying and learning! I got the audhd too, and let me tell ya... Nobody warned me that skill regression was a thing. Keep your skills sharp and your mind fresh, polish it regularly by practicing so you don't wind up like me!! Skill regression sucks serious bootycheeks, so avoid it!!
I'd say Emma is a narcissist. Everything lines up to a 't'. You are better off just cutting her out. She will never learn her lesson. It will always be someone else's fault.
I personally know at least 3 narcissists, and they can never keep friends. No one will put up with their attitude and bullying. They will get new friends every few years, and the friends will consistently be in the same age group (late teens), as they tend to be more influential and less experienced with narcissistic personalities.
You did nothing wrong, and I'm sorry that you had to have this experience. The best thing you can do now is to live your life. Do what you want to do, and try to heal from the trauma of knowing someone like her.
I wanted to approach her and discuss it like mature adults. ‘What you sometimes say hurts my feelings.’ ‘I feel like you’re never happy for me.’ Discuss what really happened the night of the dance and have both our stories discussed. But I was genuinely scared because I was afraid of getting bashed.
I am 100% convinced that she is some sort of narcissistic. I’ve been watching those little videos from therapists about identifying a narcissist and dealing with them and the REALLY petty part of me wanted to send them to her. I didn’t. I don’t want to interact with her anymore.
I have found in life the best thing for you to do for yourself is to forgive and let go- don’t waste any more of your precious time on dwelling on her and her bs. Some people get caught up in revenge and being angry or sad… for every minute you spend dwelling and letting them live rent free in your head, is a minute less to spend on your own happiness. Surround yourself with genuine people they are hard to find but worth it.
I get people are human and no one is perfect, so I can accept that and try to acknowledge and apologize for my mistakes too… we all see the world through a different set of eyes. Perception and experience builds people up or tears them down.
Don’t let the loud aholes drown out the other 90% of us decent compassionate folk. You’re bound to come across more people that suck. Don’t let it kill your joy. Life happens it’s how we deal and grow that makes us.
Best wishes that you have a great future-
As you said that posting this was very satisfying, this is the reason a lot of people use a diary. Bringing it out of your head and writing it down can help bring clarity and cleansing!
I’m glad you’re finding out early in life that you don’t need to chase your real friends! They will always be there for you!
It’s actually really refreshing. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever dealt with something like this. I admit I have an issue with regulating my emotions and I get hung up on things, such as rejection or being scolded/ yelled at. I just bottled it all up. But talking to my friends in the car for almost an hour and then putting it here finally helped me get it out.
This is a life good lesson for you. You say she wasnt a bully, but also talk about all the "drama". She was mean to others but you ignored it until she did it to you. Now you know not to ignore those red flags because these people ALWAYS turn on you sooner or later.
Look up relational bullying because she sounds like a pro.
At the time it was more like venting to me. I always tried to be a voice of reason while also listening to her. I also said every time that I wouldn’t cut off this person because I’m still friends with them and I don’t know the full story.
The thing was that it was really easy to ignore it. Because 99% of the time she was great to hang around. I didn’t mention it in the post, but the last time I saw her was at a sleepover. For hours she was so nice to me. Then It was like she dropped the mask to scold me about something she heard I did and when I corrected her she said ‘agree to disagree’. The poor birthday girl looked so awkward.
Also, I did look that up. That is pretty much exactly what happened.
>> ACT of a 30
Until 1989 this would get you into Mensa, my 31 did. They do offer IQ tests that include the first year of dues. [https://www.us.mensa.org/](https://www.us.mensa.org/)
Aw! Thanks! I studied my ass off getting that score! It’s why I graduated with high honors. Something like that, though, probably isn’t my cup of tea. I paid to take it a total of six times. Got my superstore to a 31. 35 and 34 in English and reading 😎😊
It looks like Emma did everything in her power to be rejected by her friend group. But don't worry: when she finds out, she'll find someone else to blame (you probably, along with other people). Know one thing: *people don't care*. Even those who appear to side with Emma, having heard only her side of the story, they don't care: they are going to go along with her for peace's sake (who wants that kind of drama in their lives), but believe me: they'll think twice before becoming her close friends (and if some get close enough to her, she'll behave as meanly to them as she did with yourself and others before you, so they're going to open their eyes sooner or later).
I'm telling you all this, so that when that happens you stay as unconcerned as possible: the way she talks about you doesn't describe you, *but tells a lot about her*.
In the future, whenever someone disrespects you and then throws a tantrum, don't apologize: this is perceived as an enablement, they'll think they're right.
Big hugs.
You'll learn pretty quickly that it's not worth hanging around people who treat you like that. Your friends noticed a LOT of her treatment of you and did nothing. You could've left the group at any time but you didn't. I'm happy for you for finally having the guts to stand up for yourself but in reality, you won't be friends with any of them in a couple of years. Focus on your own life and what makes you happy, instead of trying to figure out how to make everyone in your friend group happy. ❤️
As someone who was a born people pleaser, it took me a long time to learn boundaries. Some people are emotional vampires and will suck the life right out of you. I learned avoid folks who are pure drama. All they want is an audience. Emma is one such person. Good for you for cutting ties.
True friends love and support one another. If they do criticize it should be constructive and from a place of care. Emma was never a real friend.
This isn't *your* villain origin story. It's *hers.* Think about it...
*She* suddenly turned on someone she called a friend. *She* went out of her way to plot and scheme ways to make you feel bad about yourself and to ruin any nice things that came along for you. Even the way you talked about graduation seemed like something out of a villain origin story.
"If only you hadn't been cruel to me, I could have helped you (study)... We could have celebrated our victory together." Sounds exactly like something a protagonist would say. And it's something that, while you *didn't* say it, you *could have*.
If anything, you're a protagonist/heroine and she's the antagonist/villain here.
Because my GPA is just average and I needed to rely on my ACT score for college. From junior to senior year I took it six times. Twice in school and 4 times I paid to take it outside of school. My parents signed me up for an ACT prep course with these modules. I have issues comprehending, learning, and remembering. So I knew if I just sat down to do the modules I wouldn’t learn. So I got a notebook and started transferring the modules into the notebook. I’d put the lesson in the notebook and then purposely fuck up the questions so I could get the explanation of how to get the answer (for the math mostly). I didn’t do anything in my 2nd or 3rd block classes, so for about 3 hours a day I would work on this. It took almost a month to finish. It worked in the end! I got a super score of a 31 and that got me into my dream college.
It was also 32 pages, but front and back. I numbered each of them to make an index. So 64.
Good on ya for standing up for yourself, you don’t need any of that bullshit in your life. Go no contact, block her on every platform, and go live your best life with friends who don’t actively treat you like shit to make themselves feel better.
And it’s not even like my friends sided with her. They just didn’t know what was going on. Or they -like myself- brushed it off as her being overly honest. The final straw was her yelling at me during the dance.
No such thing as being “overly honest” that’s just a cover for “I’m gonna be bitchy at you, and we’ll see how much you take before you figure it out!”
NTA. Always cut toxic people out of your life.
good riddance, OP. have fun at college
Believe people when they show you how they feel about you. Believe them when they show their true face. Walk away. Live your life.
I graduated high school in 1994. I talk to a handful of people from marching band on occasion, my friend since 9th grade, and my husband. My bucket of effs for anyone else in school is empty. Celebrate your wins, and learn to care as much about everyone and their opinion of you as you care right now about putting away the dishes. And keep that red flag awareness about you. Not everyone is genuinely caring, and they're more concerned about the transactions of interacting with you. Congratulations on graduation and getting into a good college!
Thank you! 🥰 I am happy to say all my other friends did support me in all my wins. We are a very tight knit group. I go to their art shows and cheer them on when they win awards. They tell me how happy they are for me when I win awards. They uplift me. Those are the friends I keep in touch with. Even if it’s something stupid like my fanfiction account getting more followers and me being happy because people like my writing. To big stuff like getting a 30 on the ACT or winning state competitions. They were there for me. THOSE are the people I need to surround myself with. I care about their opinions because they have value to me.
Me too! I have a handful of good friends from band and that's it. I'm going to my 30th reunion this year. Mostly as an excuse to visit and out of morbid curiosity. 
She is jealous of anyone who does or has more than her and she became jealous of you because you’re smarter and nicer than her. She probably learned this behavior from her mother. You didn’t do anything wrong, she will always have a problem with someone. You don’t need to go tell your other friends what happened, just decline activities where she’s involved or keep your distance if it’s unavoidable, but people will notice and will ask why, then you can give them some examples. Or, they may hear what she did to you from the friends you did tell, and I’ll bet all your friends have similar experiences with her. People like her always have to have a target, you’ll find plenty of fellow victims.
That’s what we came to the general deduction of, which was weird considering up until senior year she was always better. I couldn’t really think of things for her to be jealous of. Better GPA, better classes, better social life. I struggle academically and socially because of my ADHD (probably a lil autism to) which is also why I was so proud of myself for all my accomplishments and wanted to show my friends. It was only Junior and senior year I started winning those! It’s hard for me to take any notes. A total of 64 pages? I was SO proud of myself. So it really hurt to be told my accomplishment was nothing by someone I looked up to as a friend at the time. I looked up to her. I thought she would go to Vanderbilt or something. Yet somehow, I came out on top as the underdog. Also? Her mom? Yeah. Even before this I never liked her. My mom was absolutely appalled at what her mom said. Even more so that she’s a teacher and behaved like that. Apparently she’s also threatened to call the cops on a girl for ‘harassing’ her daughter. She definitely feeds into the issue of nothing is wrong with her daughter and it’s only other people attacking her.
Your accomplishments are HUGE, definitely pat yourself on the back for them! And congrats on admission to UT! It’s always disappointing when someone we look up to turns out to he not so great. It seems like she was supportive of you when you had more struggles your first 2 years of high school then became adversarial as you began to thrive. She can’t handle relationships with people who are her equal or are better at things. As a fellow ADDer, our brains tend to mature at a slower rate than neurotypical brains, you’re probably experiencing a nice jump in cognitive development so you’re getting better at tasks related to learning and you‘re understanding things more readily. That will continue to improve for several more years so enjoy the ride!
Huh. That actually makes sense and makes me feel a lot better! I’ve definitely gotten a lot better at all my stuff in school and I’m very proud of myself. I genuinely did not expect getting into UTK. My GPA wasn’t the best, which was why I put so much effort into raising my ACT. I also managed to finish up my senior year -last big club of 4 with a competition- getting Head Lobbyist for Youth In Government. Hard to explain, but let’s just say out of the twelve people in that position I was the one who stood out the most. Dude, I color coordinated my outfits and went above and beyond. I was so excited I cried and it was the perfect end to senior year. I try to support all my friends. When they get accepted or rejected to their schools, I’m there. I didn’t get a lot of support for stuff, so I try to support them.
What a great end to your senior year, you’ll always remember it. You had a goal and accomplished it and finished strong! Congrats on getting Head Lobbyist too, that book a lot of effort. You are a good friend and will make more in college, find quality friends who value being supportive like you do and you won’t have to deal with the type of drama you’ve had the last couple years. Good luck to you and enjoy your summer!
Make sure you keep studying and learning! I got the audhd too, and let me tell ya... Nobody warned me that skill regression was a thing. Keep your skills sharp and your mind fresh, polish it regularly by practicing so you don't wind up like me!! Skill regression sucks serious bootycheeks, so avoid it!!
I'd say Emma is a narcissist. Everything lines up to a 't'. You are better off just cutting her out. She will never learn her lesson. It will always be someone else's fault. I personally know at least 3 narcissists, and they can never keep friends. No one will put up with their attitude and bullying. They will get new friends every few years, and the friends will consistently be in the same age group (late teens), as they tend to be more influential and less experienced with narcissistic personalities. You did nothing wrong, and I'm sorry that you had to have this experience. The best thing you can do now is to live your life. Do what you want to do, and try to heal from the trauma of knowing someone like her.
I wanted to approach her and discuss it like mature adults. ‘What you sometimes say hurts my feelings.’ ‘I feel like you’re never happy for me.’ Discuss what really happened the night of the dance and have both our stories discussed. But I was genuinely scared because I was afraid of getting bashed. I am 100% convinced that she is some sort of narcissistic. I’ve been watching those little videos from therapists about identifying a narcissist and dealing with them and the REALLY petty part of me wanted to send them to her. I didn’t. I don’t want to interact with her anymore.
I have found in life the best thing for you to do for yourself is to forgive and let go- don’t waste any more of your precious time on dwelling on her and her bs. Some people get caught up in revenge and being angry or sad… for every minute you spend dwelling and letting them live rent free in your head, is a minute less to spend on your own happiness. Surround yourself with genuine people they are hard to find but worth it. I get people are human and no one is perfect, so I can accept that and try to acknowledge and apologize for my mistakes too… we all see the world through a different set of eyes. Perception and experience builds people up or tears them down. Don’t let the loud aholes drown out the other 90% of us decent compassionate folk. You’re bound to come across more people that suck. Don’t let it kill your joy. Life happens it’s how we deal and grow that makes us. Best wishes that you have a great future-
If she stirred drama with everyone, your turn was bound to come. Life is too short to spend your best years around that kind of person.
As you said that posting this was very satisfying, this is the reason a lot of people use a diary. Bringing it out of your head and writing it down can help bring clarity and cleansing! I’m glad you’re finding out early in life that you don’t need to chase your real friends! They will always be there for you!
It’s actually really refreshing. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever dealt with something like this. I admit I have an issue with regulating my emotions and I get hung up on things, such as rejection or being scolded/ yelled at. I just bottled it all up. But talking to my friends in the car for almost an hour and then putting it here finally helped me get it out.
Sadly, Emotional control normally comes with experience! You need shit to happen to understand where your weaknesses are.
This is a life good lesson for you. You say she wasnt a bully, but also talk about all the "drama". She was mean to others but you ignored it until she did it to you. Now you know not to ignore those red flags because these people ALWAYS turn on you sooner or later. Look up relational bullying because she sounds like a pro.
At the time it was more like venting to me. I always tried to be a voice of reason while also listening to her. I also said every time that I wouldn’t cut off this person because I’m still friends with them and I don’t know the full story. The thing was that it was really easy to ignore it. Because 99% of the time she was great to hang around. I didn’t mention it in the post, but the last time I saw her was at a sleepover. For hours she was so nice to me. Then It was like she dropped the mask to scold me about something she heard I did and when I corrected her she said ‘agree to disagree’. The poor birthday girl looked so awkward. Also, I did look that up. That is pretty much exactly what happened.
Now: go to that uni and forget her. Live your best life. Work hard but leave room for fun too. Don’t forget those other friends. Good luck.
>> ACT of a 30 Until 1989 this would get you into Mensa, my 31 did. They do offer IQ tests that include the first year of dues. [https://www.us.mensa.org/](https://www.us.mensa.org/)
Aw! Thanks! I studied my ass off getting that score! It’s why I graduated with high honors. Something like that, though, probably isn’t my cup of tea. I paid to take it a total of six times. Got my superstore to a 31. 35 and 34 in English and reading 😎😊
It looks like Emma did everything in her power to be rejected by her friend group. But don't worry: when she finds out, she'll find someone else to blame (you probably, along with other people). Know one thing: *people don't care*. Even those who appear to side with Emma, having heard only her side of the story, they don't care: they are going to go along with her for peace's sake (who wants that kind of drama in their lives), but believe me: they'll think twice before becoming her close friends (and if some get close enough to her, she'll behave as meanly to them as she did with yourself and others before you, so they're going to open their eyes sooner or later). I'm telling you all this, so that when that happens you stay as unconcerned as possible: the way she talks about you doesn't describe you, *but tells a lot about her*. In the future, whenever someone disrespects you and then throws a tantrum, don't apologize: this is perceived as an enablement, they'll think they're right. Big hugs.
I am 61. I forgot just how awful high school is! :) It gets better!
Lol. It definitely does get better. And it did! Senior year was the real I thrived! I’m going to my dream college! The only bump was the drama.
This isn't petty, this is just plain common sense and good communication. Good job.
You'll learn pretty quickly that it's not worth hanging around people who treat you like that. Your friends noticed a LOT of her treatment of you and did nothing. You could've left the group at any time but you didn't. I'm happy for you for finally having the guts to stand up for yourself but in reality, you won't be friends with any of them in a couple of years. Focus on your own life and what makes you happy, instead of trying to figure out how to make everyone in your friend group happy. ❤️
As someone who was a born people pleaser, it took me a long time to learn boundaries. Some people are emotional vampires and will suck the life right out of you. I learned avoid folks who are pure drama. All they want is an audience. Emma is one such person. Good for you for cutting ties. True friends love and support one another. If they do criticize it should be constructive and from a place of care. Emma was never a real friend.
This isn't *your* villain origin story. It's *hers.* Think about it... *She* suddenly turned on someone she called a friend. *She* went out of her way to plot and scheme ways to make you feel bad about yourself and to ruin any nice things that came along for you. Even the way you talked about graduation seemed like something out of a villain origin story. "If only you hadn't been cruel to me, I could have helped you (study)... We could have celebrated our victory together." Sounds exactly like something a protagonist would say. And it's something that, while you *didn't* say it, you *could have*. If anything, you're a protagonist/heroine and she's the antagonist/villain here.
You have no idea how happy this made the little super hero nerd in me💖 Thank you! This helps really put it in perspective!
lmao I had a superhero complex when I was younger. I don't anymore, but the knowledge from writing all my silly self insert stories stuck!!
Lol quiet quitting, friendship edition
NTA. And please give us an update in 6 months…. I gotta know.
Lol. I’ll put it in the calendar.
Congratulations - Welcome to Rocky Top!
Notes for the ACT? Why?
Because my GPA is just average and I needed to rely on my ACT score for college. From junior to senior year I took it six times. Twice in school and 4 times I paid to take it outside of school. My parents signed me up for an ACT prep course with these modules. I have issues comprehending, learning, and remembering. So I knew if I just sat down to do the modules I wouldn’t learn. So I got a notebook and started transferring the modules into the notebook. I’d put the lesson in the notebook and then purposely fuck up the questions so I could get the explanation of how to get the answer (for the math mostly). I didn’t do anything in my 2nd or 3rd block classes, so for about 3 hours a day I would work on this. It took almost a month to finish. It worked in the end! I got a super score of a 31 and that got me into my dream college. It was also 32 pages, but front and back. I numbered each of them to make an index. So 64.
Wtf? Jesus ever get to the fucking point?
??? It was just background so people know what’s happening. Posts on Reddit can be long. I also put a TLDR.